biggish data

Sudden CHANGE!!! What do I do!?

Hey Emily,

I am sorry to hear things have taken a turn. We have talked a lil back and forth on PM, and you are always such a sweet girl. This is such a good quality, and I am sure you have the sweetest smile to go with that sweet personality.Please don't let him take this away from you. Can you imagine never laughing with male colleagues, or never smiling at a male when you greet them? I know I always smile, without even thinking about it, when I greet anyone. I am assuming that you can read lips, or at least use this as a tool to supplement signing, and other communication techniques you use. I imagine this would be extremely hard for you to no longer look at others while communicating. I am not deaf, and it would be extremely hard for me. There are alot of things that we have to make compromise about in relationships, but this should not be one of them.He needs to be understanding, and supportive of this. Sometimes people think they can take advantage of others who are so nice, but this isn't true! Cause you may be very sweet, but you can take a stand for yourself! I know myself, I have a hard time letting go of relationships. I always see the good in people before the bad, and I am always hoping for the best from them. I am sure that is what you have been hoping for too! From what you have explained above, about his attitude change, and need to control you.... I can't see him changing. I am so sorry. If he is controlling now from 6000 miles away, imagine how it will be when he is in arms reach of you. Whatever you decide, it is your choice, and I hope that your choice will only bring good things for you!
If you decide to not let him go thru with the interview, then call the embassy as soon as possible, and let them know you have had a change of heart. Then contact him, and let him know the interview has been cancelled, or don't. This is what I would do, in your situation. However, this is your choice.
If you decide to still go ahead with the interview, and have him come to the USA... you should consider having a very serious conversation with him, and let him know that his demands are unacceptable, and also consider not getting married right away when he gets here. See how he interacts with you here, how he interacts with family and friends, and how he responds when you go out on your own. Make sure he is who you deserve to marry, and not someone who will try to control you. If you don't marry in the three months, then he will have failed to meet the requirements of the K1, and will either have to leave on his own accord... or become an out of status person, and face deportation. I wish you the best in whatever you decide. Good Luck

-Danni

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2011-10-28 01:21:00

positive things

O kay, I will join in too

Congrats to you who have posted before me on the good things in your life.

My life has also changed alot since my husband came here in Feburary of last year. I am so much more happy, confident, stress free. Hamza is just always there for me! I love him, my family loves him, my daughter loves him. He really is my perfect other half. His hugs make everything bad in life disappear. since he has been here, I think I have only prepared maybe 20 meals. He loves to cook, and its a good thing... cause I really don't

. Today, I had a bad day, and I took a nap and when I woke up he had prepared my favorite desert for me! This is just one of the many little things that he has done for me that make me smile, and make me love him even more... and that make me feel loved!
He helps with everything around the house. He has actually painted the entire downstairs, put up new walls in some of the rooms, put all new flooring in downstairs. He just found a job, witch has also helped financially. He is also taking classes at the Comunity college. He tries so hard, in everything he does. Sometimes, I think back to when I was a little girl, and about who I thought I would marry, and what my life would be like... and he is him, and life seems so right! Oh kay that is my rainbow, and sunshine rant for the day!

Thanks for starting the thread.

-Danni

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2011-11-20 01:54:00

happy christams

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope that everyone has a safe, and enjoyable holiday.

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2011-12-21 02:02:00

My condolences to you and Hamza, Danni, and to all who have lost a loved one.

We went through this in October when my husband's father died suddenly. Hubby had let his Moroccan passport lapse in anticipation of getting American citizenship, but, fortunately, he was able to to be part of the family online with them all day as mourners came by.

Connecting with the family through Skype and keeping up with what's going on with his mom, sending money to help her out while waiting for the annuity to kick in, etc. have all helped him cope with the loss and the separation.

May peace be with you.

Salaam

Thank you, and I am sorry for yours and your husbands loss as well. Hamza was hoping to be online with his family, when all the family and mourners came to his mothers home. It didn't work out though. Hamza was also concerened about finances for his mom, and we are planning on sending some money too. Luckily Hamza's older brother is moving home next month, and will be able to stay with his mom until he marries in June. So this will be a great help. Thank you for the wonderful advice.

-Danni

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2012-01-07 01:31:00

all my sincere condolences to you
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Thank you, I will pass this along to my husband!

-Danni

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2012-01-06 09:25:00

Hi Danni,
very sorry for youre husband and My condolences to you guys for your loss.

Try youre best to be with him, and make him feel you`re support... if youre family can visit him more often this week, and present there condoleances, im sure he will appreciated, its very important to feel that everybody loves you and feel youre pain even if they didnt knew his father...so ,yes if you can get ure family, friends coming home visiting him even if its for just for few hours this will help him to not feel alone!.
Give him space, but also, youre his wife so be the one to contact algeria and try get his family and talk to them, he must be very sad and maybe not able to think ,in what to tell them or even he will feel not bothering them and calling... a support from his friend in algeria is important too, even if its through: skype ,emails or the phone...its always good!.

we think about you guys!
Take care

Thank you for your condolences, and I will pass it along to my husband. Thank you also for your suggestions. I have been trying my best to be what he needs, right now. Love, and support when he needs it, and space too when he needs that. We have spent some time with my family, since his fathers passing and Hamza appreciated that. He is more of a private person, and would rather mourn privately, or just with close family. So we really haven't tried to spend so much time with friends. But he is doing much better now, after talking to his family a bit more. Thank you

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2012-01-05 09:40:00

The best you can do right now is to give him all of the love and support you can... Depending on how he grieves, you might have to just leave him alone for a while but let him know that you're there if he needs you.

Last June, my father's health took a turn for the worse and my husband and I decided that I would fly home for a month so I could help take care of him. The day after we booked my flight, my father passed away (we had booked my flight for the next weekend so I wasn't due to leave for another couple of days). I was devastated. I was very, very sad and very, very angry... My husband was so wonderful during that time - he stayed home with me because I literally cried the whole day for those first few days and I just couldn't be alone. I thought I would be coming home to spend some time with my family and hopefully nurse my father back to health but now I was going home just for his funeral. On top of that, when my husband dropped me off at the airport, we found out that my connecting flight was delayed which meant I wouldn't even get there in time for the funeral. My family had already extended the wake for 2 more days so I could make it home in time for the funeral (my family doesn't do long wakes because it puts a lot of stress to the loved ones who were left behind when they need time to mourn in peace). Luckily the airline agent was very nice and booked me with another airline so I could make it home. I did get to talk to him one last time 2 days before he died (not knowing it was going to be the last time we ever talked) and I told him how much I loved him and I'm at least grateful for that. It's been 6 months and I still miss my dad everyday...

I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for the thoughtful post, and for sharing your experience. As you mentioned, I have been just trying to give him love ans support. Being there when he needs me to be, and giving him space, when he needs it too. He is doing much better now. He has spoken with his family a bit more, and has gotten a little closure in knowing more about what happened. It was just seemed very sudden, we had talked to him the day before... he was planning a visit, and had just purchased his airline tickets. So we were planning some of the details. Just didn't seem real when we got the call the next day. Thanks again !

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2012-01-05 09:35:00

Thank God!....Casa responed......to the Atty's E-mail

Uhuh

Goodluck

road2kros

Female

Hong Kong

2006-01-30 07:34:00

Interviews

Filipinos (Philippines) can check their interview schedule on the US Consulate Philippine website. I don't know about Morocco.

US embassy Philippines

road2kros

Female

Hong Kong

2006-01-30 07:38:00

Visa In Hand

My fiance picked up his visa this afternoon at the embassy!!!!

I just want to dance in the MENA forum too!!! It feels like 100 years went by during the wait!!

This is so fantastic! Congratulations, and dance all you want!! YAY!

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2010-04-27 16:41:00

Hey Mandy

Thanks for posting this for me. This is very helpful, Another VJ'er sent me somthing very similar to this as well. I love all the help that comes from VJ, its great to feel part of a community who have something in common, and can share so much ! Hamza is already working on getting some of these things ready. Others we are waiting on, for a little bit. The military papers, I guess have a 3 month validity... So we dont want to get them to soon, only to let them expire. ANYWAY... Good luck, with the next steps in the process... and you will have to let us know about the interview, when it comes

thanks again

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2010-05-26 01:17:00

We got Packet 3 via email yesterday. I will let you know exactly what I've had to do once I know what that is.

Thanks Mandy, I would appreciate at it !! YOUR ALMOST THERE !!! YAY! Hope the rest of the journey, is super speedy for you!

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2010-05-21 02:26:00

Hello all, I just wanted to let you know I got my NOA2 about 20 minutes ago by text!

Thats Great news Meghan!!! I will be wishing it a quick journey to NVC and on to the embassy !!

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2010-05-06 02:52:00

Hamza is Berber,he has 3 brothers and 2 sisters.... so not too large

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2010-04-29 20:06:00

Thanks! We're feeling like it's got to end soon, and I'm getting no information on what's happening.

Hope you all escape the dreaded plague - and perhaps you will. As my girl scout niece says, 'Always be prepared'

Where in Algeria does your fiance live? Brahim is from A Oubellil near-ish to Oran. He hasn't been back in 9 years

Hey again, Hamza is from Tebessa.

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2010-04-27 07:35:00

Don't want to rain on your day, but I wish someone had told me early on: be prepared for Administrative Processing ahead of time. The timeline for the NVC/Embassy is somewhat regulated, but then there's the possibility that your fiances will be sent for AP because of their origin in a MENA country.

My husband is Algerian and we met in Paris, and have been living together here since Jan 2009. After a seemingly speedy walk through the NVC/Embassy process (April 23 - Dec 9th 2009) we were put in AP and are stuck there now - it's added an extra 4 1/2 months and counting. And though we're in the last stage of the process here in Paris, Brahim is considering going back to Algeria to wait it out.

I think if you're aware of AP early and have it built into your expectations and internal clock, it may make it easier. And of course you may not get AP or have a very short one like our fellow traveller Malarie.

Best of luck in your journey! Keep us all posted as to your progress!

Hey Meredith, and Brahim

Its okay, your not rainging on my parade. I have read about this dreaded AP, and im aware its hard to get around in MENA countries. Though, I kind of expect it, and am very much afraid of it... I have to admit, Im really hoping to bypass it. Im sorry to hear that it has dragged you along, for this amount of time. I hope that it ends so soon for you, and your journey can continue along smoothly.
Thank you for the warning, I appreciate any advice and tips, even if they are not what I want to hear

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2010-04-27 02:38:00

Be prepared to be questioned about why you met in Tunisia and not in Algeria. His family's approval and knowledge of the relationship will be very important. I don't think they normally allow the petitioner in the consulate for the interview. I wasn't in Algeria for my husband's interview. It went smoothly, but we had already been married for 6 years at that time and had lived together in the US already. I don't think it's a difficult consulate to work with. I found them especially polite, helpful and prompt with their responses. This was nearly two years ago now, and I have noticed they are possibly starting to toughen up as the amount of petitions increase. Most of the petitions previously were of Algerian nationals who are now USC's or LPR's sponsoring a new bride to come to the US. If you have a legit relationship and strong evidence, you should be okay.

haha, thank you for the compliment below

!! We met in Tunisia because I saw that there was an adivsory, or warning on the US travel site for Algeria. So I didnt feel comfortable meeting there. We also felt it was fair that both of us travel a bit to meet, and spend money, and so forth. It was also cheaper, to fly to Tunisia, then to Algeria

Do you this these reasons will justify this in the eyes of the embassy ?
His parents know and approve of our relationship, they both signed a letter of approval, and acknowlegment... so did his two brothers and one sister. Will this help to show the embassy thier approval?
Is there any advice you can give on showing proof of a bonafide relationship. We have pictures, chat log, chat conversatioons, email, a couple regular mail envelops, we could take pictures of gifts sent given ? We have approval letters from 5 of his family members, and four of mine, We dont use the phone to talk, as its too expensive, though we do send texts almost daily, if I can get a record of this, i'll send that along.We us chate and webcam/voice chat instead. Is there something im missing, or that you can think of, that would help me ? I would be so appreciative of any advice or tips.

Thanks momof1

Be prepared to be questioned about why you met in Tunisia and not in Algeria. His family's approval and knowledge of the relationship will be very important. I don't think they normally allow the petitioner in the consulate for the interview. I wasn't in Algeria for my husband's interview. It went smoothly, but we had already been married for 6 years at that time and had lived together in the US already. I don't think it's a difficult consulate to work with. I found them especially polite, helpful and prompt with their responses. This was nearly two years ago now, and I have noticed they are possibly starting to toughen up as the amount of petitions increase. Most of the petitions previously were of Algerian nationals who are now USC's or LPR's sponsoring a new bride to come to the US. If you have a legit relationship and strong evidence, you should be okay.

haha, thank you for the compliment below

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2010-04-27 02:20:00

We should be getting Packet 3 soon. I can tell you what's in it when it comes.

Thanks Mandy, I would love to know what you get in your packet, and also any updates you have about the embassy, and how things go for you... I would love to know, if you think about it

Thank you so much!

Good luck with your journey!!

Danni and Hamza

Female

Algeria

2010-04-27 01:20:00