ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
United KingdomHe wants to go back
QUOTE (Glyn and Kathy @ Feb 27 2009, 08:13 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well, its been ages since we have been online here and posted. We came over in June 08 and are settled in NH. He has been working at a good job since November and although he has had to adjust, I thought he was doing ok. I knew he was homesick and told him to go back for a visit and he has finally decided to go back for a week in April. BUT...he has decided suddenly, that he cannot handle it here. He has never mentioned any of this to me. Never spoke to me about it...just threw it at me on Sunday. I am lost and dont know what to do. He always said he couldnt wait to leave and live here. I NEVER EVER said I wanted to live in England (not because its horrible because it isnt...but I like my country) and I am devasted. My kids are here with their dad and my daughter would be devasted if I left again (my son would be ok with it as he is older). I dont know what to do.... crying.gif We spent all last night crying together because I dont see a solution. All I can think to do is to ask my ex if my daughter can come if its what she wants. My dad is ill and I know only has a year maybe two tops... crying.gif
I look at everyone posting on here so excited about their plans and just want to die because thats exactly where we were last year at this time.
Part of me is mad...he hasnt spoken to me about this and he has only given it 8 months. The other part of me is so confused. All I do is cry. crying.gif
Does anyone have any advice? We have decided to take things a day at a time because the economy is so terrible right now but I know eventually we will have to make a decision. crying.gif


I have just finished posting to someone else actually about the same thing. This resounds with me particularly because I am from England and I came to the US after marrying a US citizen and I know exactly what is happening here and I remember a few times sitting down with a tearful husband while I told him I couldn't bear it and was going home but I changed my mind but I was very unhappy for 2 years until it went away. He is simpy giving in to the homesickness we all suffer. My husband did it to me when we lived in England I came back with him. Not sure it was the best decision for our lives but we are happy here 6 years later now but we replaced his misery with mine. Your husband is quitting on the homesickness battle, thats all. Its so hard and so intense that it doesn't surprise me many don't make it.

If he insists he can't bear it and I see from one of your other postings that he might be wavering on this I would advise to putting a big halt to making any big decisions especially for you, if you don't want to go to England then its unlikely you will be happy and you have children. He is emotional, homesick and in some ways irrational right now . This may be hard but if you can figure out a way to do this economically, let him go home for a while without you. Let him get it out of his system because he just might. He will go back to England and feel better for a while then everything will get on his nerves, the overcrowding, the expensive retail and the ####### wages, especially if he couldn't wait to get out of England in the first place. The reason why he felt that way will soon come flooding back and most importantly give him a chance to miss you. If he doesn't miss you then you have ask yourself if its time to call it a day anyway. It can happen and is a risk for all of us that undertake these transatlantic relationships.

This may seem very risky but homesickness especially homesickness this bad, is a strange creature and gives rose coloured glasses to those who have it of what home was like. There is nothing like a good old dose of reality for those to fall off! If and only if he still wants to stay in England and give it 6 months at least, should you consider uprooting your life and moving their because it would be a disaster if you went and you were equally as miserable, you being miserable is not the answer to this either.

Give him as long as he needs to start wanting to come back and if he doesn't maybe then you can consider moving then but don't do anything too impulsive because you are basing your whole lifeplans which involves others not just you on the highly emotional state of a man wracked with homesickness. Which I remember very well but also remember it going away. However, he needs visits home and always will . Let him take the trip or longer, this may take a long a painful period of waiting. Let him do what he needs to do. Tell him you love him and tell him you want to stay together but tell him you need for him to test out the England thing first before you come and pray that he comes to his senses. I am going out on a limb here mainly from personal experience but I am willing to bet he comes back.

Dry your tears, try and understand that this is just homesickness. Approach him calmly and with reassurance and give him a get out clause if he ever decides to call it quits that doesn't involve him giving you up in order to get out of his pain and also doesn;t involve you giving up everything either.

I as his fellow Brit who nearly left my husband at least three times to go home, understands but can also reassure him that 6 years later I wouldnt not return home now if you paid me. But I am also pretty sure I could give your husband a run for his money on the homesickness competition front !



clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-02-28 10:22:00
Asia: East and PacificFiance' arrived safely
Its only just beginning!
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-02-22 10:01:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)How long before I-864 is reveiwed
Thanks for the posts guys! I am less concerned about them being reveiwed as I am about them being received and not lost! Problem is , everything else so far has been done so quickly its hard not worry when something suddenly takes so much longer. I shall be patient as bad as I am at that!
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-02-26 19:44:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)How long before I-864 is reveiwed
I posted two affidavit support forms to the NVC for reveiw 10 days ago, I checked with an operator at 7 days to see if they had least been received and entered into the system and they had not. At what point should I get concerned? Too early to be worried and if so what point should I be thinking of resending?
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-02-26 12:25:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)NVC process online?
QUOTE (hniHnitsuJ @ Feb 26 2009, 05:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (mkg265 @ Feb 26 2009, 03:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Have to call as far as I know but you can check the status for your bills for NVC online. Address is in NVC wiki.


Yeah, I guess that the only way I will check my status from the bill NVC online, or just to call them everyday.

Thank you for your answers.


They don't have any other way but it would certainly be a great idea to devise somesort of online system like the CIS. If you look up their promises to you as the customer ( These visas are not free or cheap) , they fall short in so many ways. The service from the operators is variable from brilliant to downright inaccurate and they themselves vary from being helpful and polite to curt and dismissive. The recorded messages are vague , outdated and confusing . The website is strewn with obscurity and it is also outdated in some places and doesn't actually apply in certain circumstances. They have a lot of work to do to meet their promises. I am however fairly impressed by how quickly they get things done considering how many petitions they deal with but the communication and direction is terrible.
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-02-27 20:51:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)Dreaded RFE!
QUOTE (queuedup @ Mar 4 2009, 10:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Love the false RFEs....you will probably receive a missing checklist in the mail, which will say the DS-230 part I and II are missing. You can ignore that letter, and just send your DS-230 with the bar code coversheet that is generated after the IV payment.


They are a bad idea. Its something they need to reveiw. The AVR messages are in dire need of an overhaul in general. They need messages for affidavit of support reveiws and a message that says they are waiting for a DS230. To have the same message for that and for a real RFE , is crazy and causes unecessary worry to the petioners and unecessary calls for the operator to handle. I would have thought they would benefit also by that change.

My IV packet is already to go complete with barcoded coversheets, I am waiting on police certifcates from my parents. I asked them to apply earlier for them but they dithered over it because they weren't sure when they were going to be ready to come because of property complications and they were worried they would expire. I tried to talk them out of this but they insisted. Now the property issue has resolved and we are behind. I try to be patient however, because they are elderly and worry more than a younger person would and this is huge deal for someone of any age let alone their age. I am trying to spare them too much stress and so go with the pace they set. Its a little frustrating but I had better get used to it!
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-03-05 14:04:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)Dreaded RFE!
QUOTE (A & M @ Mar 1 2009, 10:02 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Let us know what you find out!


As requested an update!-Yesterday the affidavits of support went through just fine. The AVR message had changed from "A packet of forms has been received and information was found missing or incomplete" to "A packet of forms have been reviewed and information was found missing and complete" That didn't do much to soothe me as the last operator had been so unhelpful, offering no advice at all and now this message. I went through again and the operator was able to confirm this time that this message as we all suspected was indeed a response to them waiting for the DS 230! What a releif!
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-03-04 23:11:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)Dreaded RFE!
QUOTE (soniasharmin @ Feb 28 2009, 12:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (A & M @ Feb 27 2009, 10:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The AVR gave me some wierd message and it said there had been a letter sent out to us regarding what we were missing. Turned out the thing we were "missing" was the entire DS-230!! Like you - we had been waiting for one of my police checks. We had not even sent the DS-230 yet so we thought maybe it was to do with the I-864. Seems like this may be the same in your case. The only way to really know is call back until you get an operator who can explain it! The AVR is usually a day or two behind and sometimes makes things sound worse than they are!



Agreed 100%!!!! I also had the same RFE, which was after our I-864 was accepted and DS 230 was under review...So don't worry, I am sure that is not an RFE from AOS, it is a general RFE, many of us experienced the same, and got accepted right after the RFE was generated...

Sonia


Thanks to all who posted I am not going to get my knickers in a twist just yet, it seems that this must be the missing DS 230 as the AOS has even been reveiwed yet.
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-02-28 10:29:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)Dreaded RFE!
QUOTE (queuedup @ Feb 27 2009, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Your assumption is probably correct. Call NVC and see if they have accepted your Affadavit of Support. If they have then your RFE is caused because of the timing of the review of your AOS and not having your DS-230 information submitted. I got an RFE because of the timing.

Good Luck!!


Its been received but if you mean accepted as in reveiwed then no its still in process of being reveiwed but if you mean accepted as in , it has been scanned in and is in the system then yes it has.
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-02-27 21:13:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)Dreaded RFE!
My affidavits of support (I have two petitions running at the same time) were entered into the sytem yesterday and when I checked the messages today it had changed from "documents were generated and will be sent" that has been on there since I paid the IV fees to the dreaded-"Information incomplete and they will send a checklist etc etc" on the cases. My situation is that they have my affidavits of support, the IV fees are paid as are my AOS reveiw fees and the DS 230 forms have been generated and have been for a few weeks but due to some delay from police certifcates for my parents they have not received that pack of documents with DS 230's from me yet . I went through to the operator who said the AOS were still being reveiwed and she had no idea why I had an RFE message as they had not finished reveiwing them. When I asked why they would put that message up at all l when they hadn't finished she didn't know. That was a waste of time I must say. Is it possible that the RFE has been generated from the delay between the IV fees being paid and them not receiving the DS 230 and it refers to that? I am assuming it is not from the AOS as they haven't finished with them or I could be wrong? Who knows, she certainly didn't!

Any ideas from my ever well informed forum collegues?!
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-02-27 20:26:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionDocuments required for Consulate Interveiw
I think I have a pretty good grasp of the process in general but there is one thing that really confuses me. I am the petitioner of two parents, I live in the US and they live in Cyprus so I won't be with them for their interveiw obviously. Everywhere I look it says that my parents when they go for interveiw will need MY orginal documents that I used to support the I-130 application. Am I misreading this or is applicable to a different kind of application or do I really have to send all my important documents including the very precious and difficult to replace naturalisation certificate to Cyprus where it cannot be tracked by registered mail so they can take them to interveiw. It also says they need the I-130 packet, affidvit of support etc. The NVC already has this and copies of MY supporting documentation for proof of relationship etc when the CIS forwarded it to them.

Can anyone shed some light on this through personal experience?
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-01-18 02:41:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionPLEASE HELP I'M IN TEARS!
QUOTE (gethere @ Mar 5 2009, 08:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Okay so here is our story. We checked off we have our medical b/c we were goign to get in a week before in Joburg and we thought there wasn't a doctor in Cape Town so guess what there is. So now we have no medical and an interview date for Mon 9th. I called yesterday and they said call them after the medical, now they send an email that says we have a date. WHAT DO I DO??? I AM SICK and have no one to talk to. I feel like this is my fault, what are the chances they'll reschedule him?

Dry your tears, its OK. People make mistakes all the time, you won't have been the first and you won't be the last. My parent's embassy told them that they can call as soon as they get their interveiw date and change it to something more convenient when ever they want to. Of course each embassy is different but I am sure if you call them explain you made a mistake and ask them if you should attend the interveiw and then do the medical or reschedule the interveiw , they will advise you of what to do. Its not punishable by execution or anything and they won't penalise you for it, they are human beings! When I went through my immigration process for me, I was still in the British Army and they bent over backwards to accommodate me! It may cause a delay it might not, these people know how important this is to you and they also know how stressed everyone is. Just make the call and don't stress over it.
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-03-05 13:26:00
CanadaWanting to start the I-130 process
QUOTE (ozone_1974 @ Feb 27 2009, 12:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Sweet Jesus, Carla ohmy.gif
Situations like that are really, really, really exhausting. Two thumbs up goes to you Carla for getting out of this whole "mess" successfully and be stronger than ever wink.gif

Kaya, hope this situation will be over soon for you so that you can finally move on and live happy with your other half good.gif


What a riveting story , I suspect I wasn't the only one reading it who was furious on the behalf of both of these women. I can't beleive Carla had to give this scumbag so much money when he contributed and deserved nothing. The law is lacking for sure. I think we all draw some comfort that you are happy now and extend the same hope for Kaya.
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-02-27 21:07:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & Proceduresoriginal marriage certificate and original divorce decree
The website specifically says orginal OR certified copies. They cannot demand originals only otherwise half the people who apply for visas would never get one, it would be totally unrealistic! Many many people lose their originals at some point in their lives never to be seen again, a certified copy from the issuing agency is perfectly adequate and it is clear on the website, one of the few things that is!
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-02-17 23:54:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresPolice certificates for those who have served in the military
Its all OK, to anyone who has veiwed this and had no idea what to do! I called the NVC back and got a different person and common sense prevailed. If you lived in another country with a governement agency like the military you do not need police certificates for those places. Shame that isn't on their website!
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-02-23 23:52:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresPolice certificates for those who have served in the military
I have a new and complicated situation developing as regards the police certifcates for my parents's petitions's. One which the NVC so far has not really cleared up satisfactorily. My Dad served in the British Army for 27 years and during that time he was deployed for 12 months or more to Germany twice , Eygpt , Barhain and Nairobi, Kenya. My Mum was an army wife in Barhain and in Germany. I have the places they have lived outside the military covered with police certificates. At no time would any of the local authorities of the afore mentioned countries have any record of residency for either parents for obvious reasons. Especially Eygpt where Dad was one of 80,000 troops deployed during the Suez conflict. It would rather be like a US soldier applying to Iraq for police certificates, so not only fruitless but rather inappropiate! I called the NVC to check not expecting to hear what I heard. She went on and on about the website and got irriated with me when I suggested that the information regarding those countries was not applicable because living somewhere does not make you a resident and suitable for police certificates and was the case here. She then went on about fingerprinting at the US embassy where my parents live now or a statement from the US embassy to say why thye would not be eligible for police certifcates. I gave up in the end more confused than I started.

My parents US embassy is in Cyprus whilst they are very friendly just tell Mum and Dad not to worry about it and give conflicting advice from the NVC, not only that they would be in no better position to inform the NVC that certifcates would not be avialble than the NVC would. They should know about this sort of thing. It would be highly unreasonable to delay their visas to go through long protracted waits for police certifcates only to be told they don't exist in their database because they weren't documented residents, which was something we knew before we started!

Where do I go with this?

ANY suggestions would be gratefully received. I am considering higher authorites but I am not sure who!
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-02-23 14:15:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresNew Requirement of NVC
QUOTE (K-JForever29 @ Mar 2 2009, 09:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hey guys, I just learned from our lawyer after paying the AOS and IV fees, the NVC mailed him a letter stating they have received the payment plus some instructions. And that includes sending them the originals of all the photocopied documents we sent them. My question is, what will I bring on my interview? Isn't it one of their requirements is to present the originals during the interview? Will anyone please share their personal experience on this matter?

One more thing, for Philippines CR/IR filers who already had their interview, is it true that even though we are married and have our marriage contract from the NSO with us, we still have to present a certificate of no marriage (CENOMAR) record? If it is, then this will definitely delay our case. sad.gif

I wish us all the best of luck in getting our visa soon!!! GOD BLESS US!!!


I asked an NVC operator the exact same question, "how can my parents take original documents to the interveiw when you already have them?" they told me to take anything you didn't submit to the NVC with you at interveiw thats on the least to take. They also advised me to take copies of any orginal certifcates sent to the NVC.

clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-03-03 11:47:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresI-130 sent to CSC rather than VSC
QUOTE (laogongandlaopo @ Mar 4 2009, 05:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I had sent our I-130 Petition to the proper Chicago Lockbox address for the Vermont Service Center since I live in New York State. The NOA-1 was approved on 02-26-09 and I received the NOA-1 hard copy in the mail on 03-02-09. I just went to the USCIS website and noticed that it was sent to the California Service Center for processing. Should I be concerned about this and should I receive any notice from the CIS that it was routed to the CSC rather than the VSC? I have heard that recently, the CSC seems to have a better processing time for I-130's so I'm pleased about this news, but I'm still a bit puzzled about the reason why it was sent there. Could it be a mistake on the USCIS website? Has this happened to anyone else recently?


I think its something to do with spreading the workload between the service centers. Mine was transfered to California and it was approved two weeks later. I have a feeling its a good thing.
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-03-04 23:45:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresTo everyone who paid their fees online to the NVC and are waiting to hear from them.
I didn't even get that, they give a link to their website after you pay instead! When I called they told me that was normal. Might be a very new thing. I went through my own greencard process 6 years ago and I am amazed by how much things have changed.

QUOTE (wowswift @ Feb 23 2009, 11:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't think they ever sent the actual forms but just sent a paper that said where to download them

Edited by clairehair, 24 February 2009 - 01:31 AM.

clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-02-24 01:30:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresTo everyone who paid their fees online to the NVC and are waiting to hear from them.
I have seen quite a few postings where people have paid their fees online and are waiting for the forms to arrive as instructed online and even more worringly on the visa information phone line. You will only find out if you speak to an operator.

What the website does not tell you is if you pay online they WILL NOT send you anything in the post. Not the IV packet nor the affidavits of support forms.

So, if you are sitting at home having paid online waiting for the NVC to send you something you will be waiting a very long time because its not coming!

They expect you to print off the coversheets once the payment has cleared. Download the forms you needs, provide supporting documentation as instructed from their website and send them in.

The only thing you will see in the post apart from the first letter giving you your payment options etc is the interveiw packet. Other than that you are on your own.

I have spoken twice to an NVC operator about this. The first time I called about something else and she told me unpromted that they had not received my affidavit of support and when I told her I was waiting to receive them , she told me then they were not coming. I then called again later and was told the same thing would happen with the IV application for online payers.

If this is common knowledge then I missed it and if you are one of those like me who waited and got nothing or are still waiting then hopefully this has prevented an unnecessary delay for you!
clairehairFemaleCyprus2009-02-24 00:07:00