ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Africa: Sub-SaharanIt's been a while

Well, I haven't logged on in a long while, and today I found myself lurking over here for a brief moment. I actually have my first day of rest in almost a year and a half, and so I thought it would be interesting to check and see what's going on these days. Idocare, I remember your story (your have persevered!) and how everyone used to attack you for speaking the truth. I do think that most people do not come back and share their stories, or they do so in the other forums. The reality is, and anyone who has ever spent considerable time in a so-called third world country will testify to this, that most people have NO IDEA what lengths people will go to to romance someone in Europe or America. The chat rooms are full of men doing just that...some even pay others to sit in the internet cafe all day to nurture that relationship. I have to say that I knew my husband's culture very well. I met him in his country. I spent time with his family, his friends...he was well-known in his country. Even if the family is good (and not in on the scam), it doesn't really help you because culturally, no one will come forward and say this guy is bad. It just rarely happens. People say they are good,even when they are suffering. I speak my husband's language well enough to navigate the country on my own. I was arrogant and thought that I couldn't get cheated because I have been around Senegalese people for decades. I think I am more assimilated into Senegalese culture than my husband is. At the end of the day, the immigration process doesn't allow us to really know them well enough to see many things prior to signing our lives away on the AOS. It's kind of a gamble (as is any relationship) of the highest degree. I don't think books or even knowing or reading about the culture will help you to see the scandals that may await you. People can pretend so well that you won't suspect a thing. For me personally, I am still unsure if I was used solely for a GC. I think my husband is not a good guy and has never had a responsible day in his life. He is a liar and a cheater. That has nothing to do with me. I was, however, used, while he had at least one relationship going (and many more conversations) since our child was a few months old. The conversations with other women took place a couple of weeks after that I know about, but I'm quite sure that he was cheating on me the entire time that I have known him. What is certain is that he had a plan. I don't know how many people knew what he was planning and he played his part well enough to fool every single person in my life. I think the best advice I can offer is to always ask yourself if you would date this person if they were in the U.S. and ask yourself if you would marry the person in the U.S. having known the person for the same amount of time/contact. Men can fool us anywhere, but for a person abroad, there is much more at stake than a relationship. I can be a future for their entire family. Most people you meet on the streets abroad don't have any real knowledge of life in the U.S. They think it is as they see it in movies. They think marriage to a U.S. citizen is a ticket to an easy life. If you are easy on the eyes, well, then even better! Certainly, having children with you makes for good evidence. My own husband was about to be denied his visa until they saw the ultrasound report of my pregnancy. If we keep those things in mind, we can make better decisions. Relationships will always be a gamble. This one, though, can be very, very costly to the USC once they have signed the AOS. THat's 10 years or MORE and divorce does not free you. I never thought that I would marry someone abroad (because of what I have seen both in Africa and here [greencard marriages in the states too!] ), but I did. Personally, I would never do it again. After this monster that I married, I'm pretty sure that I won't marry again at all. Having to deal with him for the rest of my life is painful punishment enough. That said, I'm sure that there are numerous happy endings. When I say happy endings, I mean 3-6 years out of the process. I think having a good understanding of the difficult adjustment process is also helpful. THe vets like Taurean are great about that. I think that we should celebrate the happiness!!! God knows we all put so much time and energy into the process. Let us be happy for those that are happy. Let us also tell the truth. Everyone has a right to share their story. Idocare, hugs to little Victor. Blessings to everyone on their journey!

See this is what scares the HECK out of me! I trust my husband but when I hear stories like this, I always wonder. I KNOW that someone can fool another person. Yes, people can be just that good. I keep going over our relationship, over and over the events and I don't see anything but who knows? Linguere, is there something you can look back on now and say definitively that it was a sign?
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-05-24 12:51:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIt's been a while

To Idocare,I think I talked with you in the past a long time ago......Anyway I want to say how sorry I am about your relationship.....I know someone here that is going through the very same thing......Although there is no child.......I am so thankful that My relationship has worked out very well....However I have to admit that while I was going through the process that I had questions.....I often talked with myself and would say that I know what im doing is taking a huge risk.....If things did not work out I had nobody to blame but myself......I was willing to take responsiblity for what would happen good or bad.....I had to try and prepare for the worst but hoping for the best......I feel that with anyone taking on the Journey they have to be ready to except the outcome.....Weather it works out or not......One has to do research and get to know all the information they can about that country they are dealing with. Know that the fraud rate is very high and it is always a risk....One MUST be willing to except the concquences of their actions.......We all know that what some do is very wrong and down right awful.....However knowing that before you go into it is excepting that things could go very wrong......I know in my case it could have gone very very wrong.....I am very blessed that I have the man that I do.......So yes some fairy tales do happen.....Its just they are few and far between......We just have to take the time to really think about what we are doing What is invloved, and most importent i thiink is are we ready to except a broken heart if it does not work????......Once again Im so sorry for anyone going through this........

This is so encouraging to hear. Thank you for posting. I have given our relationship countless hours/days/months even of thought and believe in the best but I'm not one to put anything past anyone so I always have a piece of me thats questioning.

Wow, I must say thankyou to everyone who has posted and left comments concerning this. As you can see I am a Newbie and you all have been extremely informative. I am currently in the CR-1 process, awaiting an interview date for my husband to enter USA. I often wonder did i make a mistake, or was I temporaily insane. I am a professional woman with a sound mind, but I do second guess my decision to have married. My husband is such a wonderful man, and I trust him dearly, and has had no reason to suspect otherwise, but I am just weary of the unknown. I too have made up in my mind that it's an act of faith and if it works out, GREAT, but if it doesn't I shall move on. VJ family you guys are simply the best! Thank you guys for posting it let's me know I am not alone. Since i have joined I have been able to read blogs by other who are experiencing the same thing. To: Idocare you are a remarkable woman, thanks for sharing, you really made me think about my situation.

Where are you in the process Virtuous? Has your case been closed yet? Let's keep chatting and keep each other encouraged!
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-05-20 14:24:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIt's been a while

Lori7734: I think if you don't have questions in your head or some awareness that you could be in idocare's shoes then I don't think you are taking this thing seriously. In my experience reading here on VJ about the marriages that ended didn't help when I was separated from my husband while the visa process was going on. I can remember reading the negative stories and running back to him with an attitude. But I realized in the end that any questions that I had about the situation were not about him or his actions, but were more about the "unknown." So what I will say to you is that what you are feeling is normal, at least in my opinion. But I do think Enlighten One's advice is good: if your gut is telling you that something isn't right, then listen to it.

It is a shame that there isn't much activity in this forum any more. When my husband and I were going through the process there was quite a bit of activity here and all of it was informative, be it about the visa journey or the adjustment journey. I think I am one of the few people left that were going through the process as the same time as I was that actually post, and gratefully we are still together and trying to make it happen. I do wish that there were more "vets" posting because I think they could provide a lot of insight for those that are new in this thing.

ETA: I think reeses and I were posting at the same time. I read her comments and 100% agree with her. You have to examine your own situation from an objective point of view and then make your choice. And you should be ready to accept the consequences whatever they may be.

The part I put in bold is so true! I do the same thing to my husband and he probably doesn't even know why! Or, I will start asking him all kinds of questions, "would you do this?", "what do you think of this", etc. Poor man...

I also wish there was more discussion on the African Sub Saharan board. I am active on other boards but it seems like we have another set of issue in getting through this journey and I would love to hear about others experiences without having to go back and dig up all the history. Thats why I appreciated your post so much idocare. I was at least able to go back and read your posts and then see others who posted. Thanks again.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-05-20 14:20:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIt's been a while
Idocare, that was extremely helpful for me and I hope cathartic for you. I admire your ability to share. I really hope my relationship works out for the best but I'm not naive and I know that you really can't put anything past a person. No one knows the heart except God. Be blessed sis.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-05-18 10:21:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanWAS YOUR S.O. APPROVED AND ARRIVED IN THE US JUNE '09 - PRESENT??

1. I think my husband is "adjusting" very well. I'm the one having the problems. I am a very independent person. I lived alone for many years and moved to several countries on my own where I knew no one and couldn't even read the language. My daughter and I moved back to the US 2 years ago, and I'd been living as a single-mom since then. My husband moved into a home that already had a routine. He disrupted that routine, of course, and I'm left to adjust to that. As for his "adjustment" he is comfortable here. However, I don't know how much he has actually "adjusted." He is very stubborn and there are some ways he will never budge on. Plus, he has African food every day and listens to African music all the time. (My European brother-in-law hasn't adapted as well, I think, and he's been here 2 years already.)

My husband isn't here yet but I think the parts I highlighted above will be what I'm facing as well. What are some strategies you've used to help yourself adjust?
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-06-17 09:46:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMiss my family/Case still at NVC any thoughts?

Hi thanks for your support Cheyemo! We did not refile our I-130, but rather had it reaffirmed at the same time as the I-129 (which expired). So the original petition is there, from 2007. Early I spoke to the director at my attorney's office, they felt that people make errors on the paperwork so often that at the interview we can explain any errors. I hope she is right, she said short of refiling a new I-130, she felt that our DS-230 is the form they will look at (and that of course has the info. correctly written). I thought that NVC will not approve our case onward if they see some serious discrepancy, am I right? I am sure many peoples details change or were written wrong, right?

hmpph... perhaps I should call the u.s. consulate we interview at?

I (and this is only my OPINION) would just wait and see if NVC accepts it. If you get a case closed with NVC, then just be prepared to answer any questions once in Lagos. If you get a checklist from NVC about it, then you can write a letter detailing the mistake but I don't think that they would actually have you refile the I-130 (and pay the fee?) for those small mistsakes. From looking at your earlier post, the information doesn't seem to be anything that USCIS would have denied you for. If it was, I would have said send in a correction but I think you'll be fine.

Edited by Cheyemo, 21 June 2010 - 01:32 PM.

CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-06-21 13:30:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMiss my family/Case still at NVC any thoughts?
Afrilaskan,

I can appreciate your frustration. This is such a stressful and tedious journey. Thank goodness for this community of support.

I'm not exactly sure what the best thing to do here. I'm not sure, but did you refile the I-130 when you filed again or was this the original?
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-06-21 10:58:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanPolice Certificate for Benin, available in Lagos, Nigeria?
When we were trying to get a police clearance from Vietnam, we ran into the same walls. What I ended up doing was writing a letter detailing all the steps we took to get the clearance, to no avail. It seemed to suffice since NVC closed our case. I'm not sure if the consulate in Lagos will give us problems, but we'll see. It was impossible to get the clearance with hubby being back in Lagos!
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-06-23 11:23:00
Africa: Sub-Saharanvisa granted after 3rd interview in Lagos
That is great news Maryet, especially coming from Lagos. It gives me some comfort! Thanks for sharing.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-06-24 11:57:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIs this an African thing?

LOL nope it's not just your honey. Mine does the same thing. I thought I was pretty well prepared having grown up in a very multicultural atmosphere but still had to take a moment to think on the actual meaning of "I'm coming" or "Let me come...". At first I was like what in the...? LOL But I soon realized he meant "I'm leaving" or "Let me leave and come back" :rofl:

LOL! That is so true. When my husband says "I'm coming", it took me a minute to learn that he meant, I'll be right back! I was like "really? You're coming over here now?" LOL.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-05-20 17:36:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI'm Next
I'm so sorry too. I don't know you and Boaz but my heart and prayers go out to both of you.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-06-14 00:03:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNaija women on the lookout
That is funny. I would have been a bit taken aback too! Good they were just looking out for ya.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-06-08 10:56:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanVisa not at pick up location
Don't worry. As you can see from my timeline, we were told to pick up the visa on a specific date and it wasn't ready until about a month later! They said nothing was wrong with our case and we weren't put into AP, they just had a delay. In any case, thank God delay is not denial!
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-12-03 17:22:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI was hoping this wouldn't happen...
That is wonderful! I know you can't wait to see him. Congratulations.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2011-04-14 14:34:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
I'm so late but congrats Resees! I unfortunately ended up having a c-section with both of ours but after going through a few bouts of depression about it, I'm just glad they're here! Wishing you all the best!
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2012-09-24 17:02:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3

Hi, everyone! We have a few exciting updates. Next week will take my general exams for my PhD program! The exam is 2 weeks long. After I'm done, I will just have to do my analysis writing and present/defend my dissertation, no easy task but its all downhill. Hope to wrap everything up over the summer. I could not have made it this far and maintained sanity without my hubby's support. :)

We'll be moving to a great new apartment next month. Our unit has an office/retail space attached to our living area. Hubby and I are launching a few businesses over the next few months. I can't wait to be part of our new community. Will update when things come together a bit more. Its strange, we've been talking about moving and having a business for a few years now, but we've been waiting for the right opportunity. On a whim I decided to take a different route home after visiting the salon and we were presented with this wonderful opportunity. Thank you, God! I guess all of our dreaming and planning has paid off because we have some business ideas that we can implement over the next 2-3 months. Its funny but I think the best, most rewarding opportunities in my life have come unexpectedly, including meeting my hubby. : )


Congratulations and good luck! I look forward to hearing about the success of your businesses.

Wow reeses...sounds like you have a lot to look forward too.

I also take my PhD exams in June....yikes!!

Good luck!!


Good luck!
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2011-05-06 12:29:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3

we're doing great, little bundle has turned into a heavy bundle - and he's getting into everything! he gets ahold of the computer keyboard and brings up menus on the monitor all the time. :blink:

LOL, sounds like our little one! The keyboard, mouse, papers, pretty much everything that is NOT his! Oh, the joy.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-08-13 09:26:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3

Hey Subbies


I hope everyone is doing well!

Removal of Conditions APPROVED.... No more USCIS for a while......YAY


Stay Blessed

Congrats! I know you must be relieved to enjoy your freedom for a bit.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-07-22 14:56:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3

Hi all.

Little one didn't stick around :crying: that's the 2nd one in 3 months that we've lost.

Other than that things are going well, hubby is still out of work (it's been 6 weeks now!), but we are looking into him starting college in the fall, somewhere in the medical field since that seems to be where all the jobs are. I was offered a promotion at work last week, which is fabulous! Adjustment is going well, bumps along the way but I expected that.

Hope all is well with y'all.

I'm so sorry to hear that. How are you feeling?
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-04-28 22:23:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Hellooooooooooooooooo! Anybody home? :unsure: Just wanted to see if anything new was happening. Have a great week.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-04-20 10:24:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Hello everyone! I'm fairly new to the site, just wanted to say hello. I've become addicted to VJ and am on here everyday, ALLday enjoying the nuggets of information that I pick up. Hope you are all having a wonderful week!
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-04-08 15:06:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Endings In Sub Sarahan
I'm so sorry to hear this! I just don't understand how people can change so absolutely but I have certainly seen it! I pray that one day you find out the root of all this. I wish you all the best in bringing your beautiful child into the world and filling it's life with love and care.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2012-09-12 15:06:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Endings In Sub Sarahan
Yayyyy! Let me add that our second child (this time a girl) is also due in March 2012! Wow ladies, I guess we were all pretty busy around the same time huh? LOLOLOL. Congrats to everyone, we really are part of something special!
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2011-12-01 21:43:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Endings In Sub Sarahan

It's a new year and I was checking to see if anyone had added to this topic since I last replied. We are finally starting our Citizenship journey, so pray for us ladies!!


Praying for you! I know I'm late but prayer never is!

We still have some time to wait on the citizenship thing ( or ROC) but it was nice to find a V day card on the bed from him addressed as Lolo Engineer Syliva XXXXXX


That is so sweet! We had a nice Valentines day too.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2011-03-17 17:27:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Endings In Sub Sarahan
Good reminder. My husband is finally here so we are just starting our "happy ending". It is definitely nice to see him everyday and I haven't gotten tired of seeing him around yet! :thumbs: LOL. I'm just feeling really blessed right now and I hope that I'm able to come back a few years from now still feeling the same way.

I wish you all the best!
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-12-17 16:30:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Endings In Sub Sarahan

I'm so glad to have read these posts! OMG, it was what I was looking for when I came online to VJ. Thank you, thank you for your replies, you have reduced my anxieties greatly with all your stories. I know several people who have been married to African husbands and not one has been healthy and all but one I know of has ended in divorce and even that one has major problems. My husband and I have been married 2 yrs, known each other 3 yrs come July 7th, and he has been in the states for 7 months now. The communication issues have been the hardest for me. My job requires me to be a talker, and I do love to talk. I find so much in life interesting and what to share it with my husband. Now he calls himself "a man short of words" which is true except when he's on the phone with his Nigerian friends and family lol!!! We are learning each other and learning to compromise in an agreeable way. I love Nigerian food, it's what we mostly eat at home but I love to go out to dinner too and he just doesn't like much American food so we compromise by my eating a meal and his drinking a couple beers :) He is so bored waiting for his AOS interview which is coming soon and sometimes his temper gets short and I try to be understanding cuz I know it's hard for a proud man like him to sit at home all day while I'm working. He likes to go hang out with his African friends, he has a close friend a few blocks from us who is from Ghana...I call him his girlfriend cuz he gets so excited to go "play" with him....but I thank God he has him for company. A couple times I have gotten irritated with his wanting to go play with his friends and he said once, "You get to have fun at work" and I was like ???? But I see his point. We have our ups and downs but we agree we have our way of working them out. Seeing so many marriages fail or having problems around us puts a lot of pressure on us and gives me fears but he is always here to calm me down and listens to my anxieties even when he can't figure out why I think about these things....We love each other, we both are far from our families so understand the loneliness but we have plans and those plans will eventually bring us closer to our families.....It's been a rough trip so far....the visa process...long distance relationship...and now being newlyweds but married 2 yrs...but it is SO WORTH IT!!! Thanks for giving me a place to tell my story, it's great to see the similarities we all share! I'm seriously thinking of starting a Facebook group for happy married African/other race marriages and I hope if I do some of you will get on board and share your stories there. :)

TMI59, I get excited to read posts like yours. I hope you keep sharing. There actually is a facebook group, specific to Nigerian men that a lady started called the Real Housewives of Naija. There isn't that much activity but it's a nice group. I hope you see you there!
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-06-23 11:20:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Endings In Sub Sarahan

as far as I am concerned...there are not any....

No happy endings? I'm sorry to hear that.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-06-14 00:00:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Endings In Sub Sarahan

I'm sorry for rambling on and on....I wish everyone the best on your journey. Unfortunately, I do not come on VJ anymore because my journey is 100% completed and school keeps me busy..on top of my family. Take care and God Bless EVERYONE (F) (F) (F) (F) I am on Facebook, if anyone wants to add me (I am friends on FB with other VJ members) my name is Crystal Haupert or email is crystal_haupert@yahoo.com

Your story is heartwarming! Is your husband not planning on becoming a citizen? I ask because you said you are 100% done.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-06-08 16:49:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Endings In Sub Sarahan

Hey guys! I thought i would contribute my happiness!I metmy husband here in the US. He was here on a student visa...anyways he is SOOO absolutly wonderful to me and my kids. He does so much for us and is a huge help. Never could i have imagined God to bless me with a better husband! :)

The AOS process is a little stressful for him though. He use to work before but once we started the AOS he had to stop and now he is soo restless. He cleans the house spotless almost everyday, does the lundry, cleans the cars, fixes little things around the house! :P He feels that since he isnt working he should contribute by cleaning. He even offers to cook every night if i would just leave him directions! Haha. I leave the cooking up to me any my mom though! The good thing is we expedited his EAD and the card has been ordered! We are just waiting for the hard copy so he can accept a few jobs he has lined up! God is sooo good!

He is such a wonderful kind hearted man. I hear of some of the others waiting on their loved ones from Ghana and I can't imagine being without my husband! I hope everyone can stay strong and be reunited soon!

This is so sweet! Sounds like God blessed you with a wonderful husband.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-06-03 18:10:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Endings In Sub Sarahan

A son? :wow: That's going to be awesome! I know it must be hard to contain your excitement. Hang in there. The visa race is not always swift, but for those who endure, there is usually a sweet reward at the end :yes: .



Oh wow! Congratulations on the birth of your son. I hope you all are reunited soon!!!!

Thank you both ladies! It will be nice to see him hold our little one. I'm in that race and running patiently.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-05-24 22:22:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Endings In Sub Sarahan

Thanks Cheyemo!

Here's more info: Pman is like a kid in a candy shop here. It was a little chilly for him at first, but those days are over. It's now a Hotlanta summer like no other :thumbs:

He's used to being on the go and is trying to adjust to this slower pace. The minute he stops moving or I go to work, he falls asleep. Sigh... I love my little Netflix addict. :luv:

I really wonder how it will be when my honey arrives. One thing is we have a son he hasn't even met yet so I guess he'll keep him busy for a while! I wish you and Pman the best!
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-05-24 17:34:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Endings In Sub Sarahan

We are just getting started in America, but wanted to contribute to this thread :) I think what has been most helpful for us is the fact that I lived in Kenya, both on my own and with him. While I'm sure my "homesickness" for Kenya is nothing like his I still have many days when I would love to still be there in the little town we lived in, teaching my classes & sneaking off to visit him :) So I can understand to some extent what he's going through.

I think the hardest thing for now is that we are still waiting for AOS - he can't work yet, and he's getting bored. He's been volunteering but he REALLY wants to work, and I don't blame him!

We lived apart for 2 years and now we are just happy to be living on the same continent again :) I still look over at him most days (he's been here right at 3 months) and say "I can't believe you're here!" Just happy to wake up next to him every morning and go to sleep next to him every night.

Anyway, I'm glad to see this thread & hear from some other happy Sub-Saharan couples :)

That is so sweet. I know what you mean about living in the same country and getting to see each other. I can't wait to not have to worry about the time difference again!

Woohoo! :dance:
We're at 2 weeks and 2 days, so we qualify for 'happy beginnings'/'honeymooner's award if anything. We're both still a little surprised to see each other every morning and just dwell in each other's presence :blush:

He has his SS card and is working on getting the driver's license... gulp!
Please keep us in your prayers Sub-Saharan family.

Awww, congrats. I had been reading your previous posts and saw that he should have been in the country a few weeks now and wanted to know how things were going. Its good to hear.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-05-24 16:55:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Endings In Sub Sarahan
This is really sweet. I look forward to sharing my "happy beginning" when my husband finally gets here. I'm going to watch this topic and hopefully see a lot more responses!
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-05-21 14:12:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)Vietnam Police Clearance Certificate

Hello everyone! Has anybody able to get a Police Clearance Certificate from Vietnam? My husband worked there for almost two years and after that he transfered here in Singapore. Since that document(PCC) is to be submitted to NVC along with the other documents and the DS-230, my husband called the Vietnamese Embassy in Singapore and asked how to get it, but the operator said that they don't know anything about it and that they don't issue such a thing here. The operator suggested that he, my husband should just go to Vietnam personally and try to get from there. OH my goodness! what a simple way to really get mad!!!! Since my husband really got irritated by what the operator suggested and the difficulty explaining to him the situation because of language barrier, my husband just hanged up the phone. Right now, we don't know how to go about it. Can anyone please help us with this latest predicament we have regarding documents? Thanks in advance...

It looks like you are in a bit of a different situation from me. I am at the NVC stage for the IR1/CR1 visa. However, I also had the same problem--my husband lived in Vietnam for over 1 year. We didn't submit a PCC but did submit a letter detailing every step we took to secure one even though we were unsuccessful. We were sent a checklist at first and just submitted the same letter detailing the steps and our case was closed. I don't know if we were just lucky or what but if you've tried everything they told you to try on he reciprocity tables (information on USCIS website) and couldn't get the PCC, write a letter detailing your actions.

I would also suggest that your husband contact his previous employer from Vietnam, maybe they can assist?

Edited by Cheyemo, 11 June 2010 - 10:02 AM.

CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-06-11 10:01:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresNigerian living in Ghana
Also, if you'll be living in Ghana for at least 6 months, you may consider Direct consular filing (DCF) if you're eligible. I'm sure that the consulate would question your Affidavit of support however.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-07-07 14:45:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionEvolution of Relationship Letters

Hey sorry, just realised u were not talking about emails but a kind of letter that tells the story of ur relationship???

Uhm... i personally would not want to do that lest it boomerangs. U know short and sinmple is what i'ld advise.

Goodluck to us all!

Admire, thank you for your advice. I was thinking short and simple too but wanted to know others experiences. I see your interview was yesterday. Any news?
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-06-03 11:09:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionEvolution of Relationship Letters

We were K-1 and Vietnam so this is for the sake of discussion.

I can't say for Lagos but we were Vietnam and in HCMC you definatley will get an RFE without the "Evolution of Relationship" letter.

How much detail is specific to each individual. Some advise to keep it direct and to the point, others will argue that because it is an evolution of your relationship that its beter to add some higher level of detail.

The most important thing either way is to make sure that the facts are there and that if asked about any of them that they can be correctly answered.

I put a pretty fair amout of detail in mine (I ended up with three full pages which covered 3.5 visits). (only 3.5 because the last one I was there for and I updated it right up until the time of the interview).

Thank you Bernie C for the info. I believe we'll write one. It just seems to me that if we both write the letters and both read each others, where's the believability (is that a word) in that? I guess it comes up in the interview if the beneficiary can't answer the questions huh?
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-05-24 12:25:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionEvolution of Relationship Letters
Anyone who went through Lagos for a CR1 or IR1 visa, did you include an Evolution of Relationship letter in your evidence package? It was mentioned in one of the upper forums and I hadn't thought about it before (shouts out to the person who mentioned it!) so I'm wondering if I should or if it would even matter in Lagos. I also read from someone else that giving too much evidence would just give the CO something to find and question the beneficiary about. So, any thoughts would be helpful. Thanks!
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-05-24 09:26:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionDo I have to it all again? My interview was tough!

44 views, no comment. why do i feel so alone?

Sorry to hear the news Admire. I guess people don't really know what kind of advice to give for Lagos and the folks who have been through Lagos aren't on here as often. I'm sure someone with some experience will chime in soon. I don't have any experience with them yet or I would share.

Pushbrk, thanks for your response.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-06-04 09:44:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionTax transcripts or W2 for Lagos
Patient, I would suggest getting the tax transcripts anyway. They are very easy to obtain, just have the USC call and they can fax them if they aren't too many pages or send them in the mail (just a few days to receive). Have the USC call 800-829-1040.
CheyemoFemaleNigeria2010-07-20 11:07:00