Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
India	Could you please evaluate my K-1 visa case?	I'm back! Finally my parents know. Initially they asked me to surrender my credit card, pack up and never come back. I said okay. Then they tried to persuade me. I said they can kiss their daughter's Barbie. I was then politely told I wasn't welcome home anymore at least not for the foreseaable future and that in the future if they indeed are convinced that the relationship is real, they MIGHT just 'bless' us. Well what the hell, at least I got my credit card back right? My interview is on the 15th of June. Mel's gonna be here tomo! (Our fouth meeting) After reading Sundancer's (http://www.visajourn...iew-mumbai-419/) sob story, I don't think we stand a very good chance. Although in my case I would really do better if I am taken to a private room. I just need to be allowed to talk. In any case the CO can't really dig up any #### about us that we don't already know and he definitely cannot bullshit me about Mel either. I am not sure if I should take the bull by the horns though or just let it gore me. Either way we don't stand a chance eh? Anyway visa or no visa we gotta do something right? So what the hell if she just got a spankin' new job that pays a butt load of money? Who needs money anyway. I'm gonna make her quit the job and move to India. It doesn't really matter if we are accosted by random horny punks on the street in India and get asked "what's the rate" cause you know we gotta prove a frikkin point to the Almighty CO right? YWell what the hell, we'll make the damn point. Maybe I'll punch the next guy in the face who asks me "what's the rate" and proly get the ####### beat outta myself if he's got fellow punk buddies watchin' out for him and Mel will film the whole thing, put it on Youtube and send a link to the CO. (Gotta remember to take his e-mail address) Or you know, we can just hole up at home and only go out to fancy places the kind where nobody bats an eyelid at anything. Oh yeah, I forgot, you gotta have money to go to fancy places! So hole up at home and then some it is! Yes this is meant to be a cathartic post and no, it ain't banned under the TOU! It's also meant to be funny, so if anybody laughed and then remembered to wish us well, my job is done! All the best to all other applicants! Life ain't easy, ask me! So yeah, just sack up, try not to decimate your life's savings on lawyer fees and still try to have a good time! Live long and prosper!	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2012-06-08 11:56:00
India	Could you please evaluate my K-1 visa case?	Your personal life or attitude towards your family is Not important here. Neither is the details of your relationship. Your reflag is A) the age gap B) at least at this point the fact that the parents don't know. Mumbai consulate usually in red flag filled cases contacts the families and compares stories, at least I have seen that happen 5+ times. So definitely tell the families the whole story and the truth and go in armed. Thank you so much. One call to my mom and they will get the whole story. But when should I tell her? I always thought I'll tell her right before they interview so I have fewer days to suffer. I guess I am just trying to be selfish here. I guess avoiding pain is selfish. Should I tell her now? It's nearly 2 months to the interview. I got my exams in a month and if they give me hell I may not make it through. I am already seeing a psychiatrist and I got her to prescribe me anti-anxiolytics which is really affecting my attention span already. The problem is when you stop taking them, the anxiety comes back with a vengeance. What the doctors never tell you is that if you stop taking the drugs, you're screwed! Edited by Mel and Rudy, 12 March 2012 - 11:19 AM.	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2012-03-12 11:16:00
India	Could you please evaluate my K-1 visa case?	There is a lot you are wrong about but you are certianly right when you say you have above average emotional needs. To get a green card you have to be granted a visa. To do that you have to work within the laws of the USA. Those laws dont dictate who you can marry. You can & should marry her right there in India. This way you dont have to comply with the K 1 criteria. You dont have to get a " fricken" green card at all. You could use the K 1 to enter to marry her here & then simply leave. You could immigrate to later become a citizen then use that superior intellect to lobby to change those very laws that you hate. Use the working knowledge of the entire universe to help others understand the flaws & failures of the USA as we know it. There is no Wizard of Oz sitting behind a curtian determining your fate. In reality he aged out & went to India to become enlightened. Now we just use the laws of the nation to control the immigration of people from outside the USA. It worked for me & it works for many more every year. Our journey was difficult but I have never done anything that was more worth every single moment it took to come here. This is truly the greatest country on earth. Your problems seem to revolve around your relationship with your mother. Its really her that is going to decide who you marry. If thats the Indian way that evolved from long ago you may have to tell her how horrible it is to live with that concept. Oh yeah definitely that is one of my long-term goals now to challenge these arbitrary practices in court once (if) I get to Uncle Sam. Not too familiar with the American legal system but I have heard they have one of the most efficient and elaborate judicial set-ups in the world so yeah, it should be happy-hunting! And I almost imagined you were hinting at me a second time too following the Wizard's example cause I have planned to retire in the Himalayas and meditate for enlightenment if we can't pull this off.	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2012-03-12 05:47:00
India	Could you please evaluate my K-1 visa case?	Instead of b!tchin' on VJ -- which is cathartic, no doubt, but kind of pointless -- you should use your (very valid) argument to convince your momma. I married a white boy. My parents absolutely adore their gora jamai. Give it a shot! Lucky you! You guys look really good together! With my parents it's not so much about the race as much as the age gap. And also they'd have a problem that she's taller than all the women in my family put together. I think it all stems from an inferiority complex and also the mindless Bollywood portrayal of white women as women of easy morals gives them ideas. Every item song has skimpily clad white women waltzing around and drooling over this muscular Indian hunk. Duh! It's about bloody time Bollywood cleans up its act. I just told Mel that I'm gonna gonna tell my family the truth. She still wants me to lie and I understand her cause she just wants to meet my mom. Also she's worried my parents might go batsh!t crazy and go to any lengths to get me to call this off which of course ain't gonna happen. I just hope she doesn't regret ever meeting me. It helps though that she's half Indian and knows quite a bit about the Indian way of life. If I was born and brought up abroad I would have never understood!	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2012-03-12 05:08:00
India	Could you please evaluate my K-1 visa case?	Instead of b!tchin' on VJ -- which is cathartic, no doubt, but kind of pointless -- you should use your (very valid) argument to convince your momma. I married a white boy. My parents absolutely adore their gora jamai. Give it a shot! Lucky you! You guys look really good together! With my parents it's not so much about the race as much as the age gap. And also they'd have a problem that she's taller than all the women in my family put together. I think it all stems from an inferiority complex and also the mindless Bollywood portrayal of white women as women of easy morals gives them ideas. Every item song has skimpily clad white women waltzing around and drooling over this muscular Indian hunk. Duh! It's about bloody time Bollywood cleans up its act. I just told Mel that I'm gonna gonna tell my family the truth. She still wants me to lie and I understand her cause she just wants to meet my mom. Also she's worried my parents might go batsh!t crazy and go to any lengths to get me to call this off which of course ain't gonna happen. I just hope she doesn't regret ever meeting me. It helps though that she's half Indian and knows quite a bit about the Indian way of life. If I was born and brought up abroad I would have never understood!	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2012-03-12 05:08:00
India	Could you please evaluate my K-1 visa case?	Another question. If I tell my mom the truth and she declines to meet Mellie or even sign the affidavit, will the CO be okay with that? There's a REALLY good chance my mom will wash her hands off me and publicly (and legally if that were possible) disown me if I tell her the truth. I'll be goddamned if after everything, they still deny the visa! Is the affidavit and the pictures with family ABSOLUTELY necessary? It seems like the devil or the deep blue sea! This is the 21st century for chrissake! I don't understand how Indian parents can have such ancient mentalities to the detriment of their own children! I am a grown man with a working knowledge of the entire universe and yet I am not good enough to decide who is good for me? It's a travesty! And the consulates want family approval! If I had family approval and if Indians didn't treat like us like a prostitute-pimp pair, I wouldn't need that visa in the first place! I mean what kind of a senseless catch-22 devoid of any semblance of logic is this? If you ask me, the whole system is flawed! First of all, I don't even want a frikkin greencard if this what we have to go through! There ought to be a parallel mechanism where one can get a conditional residence permit by virtue of being married to a citizen of a nation. How can one let the law dictate whether or not you get to marry the person you love? And one man decides our fate? Why can't they have a panel of judges with some credentials in human psychology in order to reduce the role of personal bias? They have a 15 trillion dollar economy so a twenty-five something year old guy can decide which one of their citizens can get married and which one doesn't? They have distorted the meaning of democracy. So much for fighting the commies.	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2012-03-11 16:00:00
India	Could you please evaluate my K-1 visa case?	Another IMPORTANT question I forgot to ask! Should I lie to my parents about her age? My parents will never come and live with me so they will never find out if I told them she was 29 years old and even though that's only 4 years less, it still sounds WAY more agreeable than 33! Will the CO have a problem with the lie? Would he understand that a single lie would keep everyone happy? I'm pretty sure my mom will be MUCH more accepting if I told her Mel was only 29. On the other hand, I will risk losing every single member of my family if I came out with the truth! They will never understand that some people have different needs. My mom has never accepted that I am not the average guy with average intelligence and emotional needs. NOTHING I say will ever convince her that I can be happy with a woman who is 33 years old regardless of how wonderful the woman is. My own friends think I am just messing around with Mel which comes as a shock to me. Indian people are highly judgmental and sometimes no amount of reasoning will help! HELP!!!	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2012-03-11 12:49:00
India	Could you please evaluate my K-1 visa case?	I'm stressed outta my wits reading up all the horror stories here. I never knew getting married to my American fiancee would be so nerve-wracking! Jeez, this should by far be the most stressful thing I have gone through in my life, worse even than law school! I am gonna try and pen down as many details as I can. Please do consider all of them and tell me our prospects. I am male, 24 years old, Indian and I am the beneficiary. My fiancee is 33 years old, USC (half-Indian half-Jew) but looks very un-Indian and is the petitioner. I'm a final year law student, she's an editor at a legal database company. We met online in Oct, 2010. She e-mailed me. Since then we have met 3 times in person and she is coming down for the interview too which should be in May. We are going through the Mumbai Consulate. (Will she be allowed in?) We're both extremely progressive; we are irreligious (Our parents are not!) are both never married with no issues. Her parents, even though religious do not have a problem with the marriage. My parents, are well-educated, come from Bangalore but are quite conservative although not as much as other Indian families but enough to not be happy with my marriage to someone who is 9 years older and someone who they know nothing about and might even be averse to meeting in person. Some details about me. My parents are both professionals who have been very busy with work their whole lives and I myself grew up in a boarding school and then attended law school in a different city hence have no family-bonding issues. Anyway some more about Mel and me. Both of us I should say are average looking although we look nothing like a couple. She's 5'10" and very lanky. I am 5'5" and athletic. I don't look 24. She looks different at different times of the day, week and year. She can look 25 and she can also look 40! I never knew they can consider people's looks! I think it's positively abhorrent that one has maintain such things as looking like somebody would love you! I'm furious! We're both very intellectual and anyone who sees us talk for a few minutes will have no doubt that we are made for each other but tough luck getting the CO to do a case-study on us eh? We've both been in a lot of relationships before so we know what we have found is incredible. Not a day goes by when we don't wonder how two absolutely random people like us had to cross paths and voila, we're planning to have kids! (Not too soon ) We have exchanged over 2,000 full-length e-mails in a span of a year and a half and we are planning to compose a book in multiple volumes signifying different stages of the relationship so that future generations can marvel at the event which, among other things resulted in their own formation. We spend about 4 hours talking on the phone (We don't skype because I find it very difficult to look at her but not be able to grab her ) everyday and Gtalk through out most of the day. We are separated by 8,400 miles but we literally sleep, wake up and sometimes even conduct our daily ablutions together. My mom knows of a certain girl that I am 'dating', that she is not Indian but nothing more. No whiff of the marriage. Mel has met my cousin sister and brother though and they are in love with her! (Who wouldn't be!) I am going to tell my family about the marriage even though it's akin to stirring up a hornet's nest but I realize since I am gonna have to inform them sometime anyway, might as well do it now. At best, they will be mildly unhappy with the whole thing and will agree to meet her when she comes down for the interview. At worst, they will ask me to never show them my face again and will essentially banish. I am ready for both scenarios and everything in between. NOW FOR THE ISSUES Mellie is very uncomfortable about coming to live here in India with me in case the visa gets denied and understandably so because the first time she came, she got sexually assaulted by a taxi driver among other things such as people passing snide remarks at us and the like. We are very sensitive to any invasion of our privacy and living in India for however long seems like a nightmare which is only little better than living apart the way we are doing now. Also I would feel like the worst host and husband on the planet if I could not provide her with a safe and conducive environment and I am absolutely not relishing the thought of having her wind up and come down to India for however long a period. THE PROCESS SO FAR We have submitted Packet 3 and are awaiting receipt of Packet 4. In the initial petition, we included pictures of us in India (Goa, Pune, Bangalore) and Thailand. We had met twice when we filed the petition but she had already booked her tickets for a visit to India scheduled for January. Also phone records and e-mails and the works. She also has pictures with my cousin brother and his girlfriend in Bangalore. (I am originally from there) We went through a visa agent of her choice (I never knew this was gonna be so crazy!) so I had no idea about "front loading" the petition then and I still don't seem to fully understand what it means. Anybody wanna tell me where we stand? We are both not very social and pretty much only talk to each other. This whole process has caused us both a lot of stress and a scenario where the visa is denied seems like the end of the world for us. Any advice regarding both pre-visa preparations and a potential post-denial course of action will be greatly appreciated. Thanks Edited by Mel and Rudy, 11 March 2012 - 09:47 AM.	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2012-03-11 09:42:00
India	K-1 Mumbai approved!	Congratulations on your success. Praying my fiance has similar good fortune this Tuesday! Do you happen to remember what questions were asked? We're reviewing our last bits of evidence and such. After 2.5 years together we're pretty confident, but reading some of the reviews, especially regarding interracial engagements and K-1 visa, had gotten us a bit nervous. Thanks and Enjoy, Erik She asked me about how the courtship progressed apart from all the regular questions like name and how we met and how long we've been together. I can not stress this enough as this is what worked in my case despite of all the red flags, be yourself, be honest, tell them what you've been through and why you need this visa so bad and I don't think they should deny the visa if your case is genuine. Contrary to what I used to think they're human and they understand human emotions. All the best	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2012-06-16 06:15:00
India	K-1 Mumbai approved!	Our K-1 petition got approved! I have no words to describe how I am feeling after successfully completing this hellish journey! Many thanks to the CO who approved us. I know nothing about her but I pray the universe will keep her happy! She said among all the applicants I was the only person who convinced her 100%! Some details. Petitioner: Female, age 33 years old, white, never married, no kids. Applicant: Indian, 24 years old, never married. Met online. 20 months ago. Petitioner was present outside the consulate but the CO said it is not necessary to talk to her. Including present meeting, we have met 4 times each time for 7 days. CO did not look at ANY of the evidence. She was busy with her paper work while I speed-talked for 10 mins (Proly due to my nervousness, I was nerve-wrackingly nervous!) She was a very sweet woman in her forties. She also approved my friend who is also a K-1 interracial case although his engagement photos were put under the scanner. (No age difference with him and they met at work not online) 2 other girls who looked like CR1 cases were also approved judging by the smiles on their faces. One girl was proly put on AP cause she looked distraught. Another older guy was distraught too so I guess he was either AP or denied. My advice to other K-1 applicants, try not to bullshit the CO. They seem to know what they are doing and they seem to appreciate honesty. Be honest and give out all information even if you think it might go against you. I did. My parents are not happy with our marriage and I disclosed the same to the CO and we haven't held an engagement ceremony either. I also revealed other information which I would think would have gone against me but in the end the CO was completely satisfied. They interview hundreds of people every week and they really don't wanna mess with you for the heck of it. All the best to everybody else out there patiently waiting for the interviews! Live long and prosper!	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2012-06-15 04:27:00
India	Bribes to get documents done: How much is too much?	Bribing is bad bla bla file a complaint with the authorities bla bla. This is India. If you want your work done, pay them. If you wanna risk your hair turning gray, do the bla bla. I spent upwards of 15,000 INR for my PCC which I believe I have a fundamental right to get since I have no criminal record, current or past of any sort. Yet I had to pay. I had to pay 'charges and fees' not bribes. Well, what the hell! Then I remembered the story about the self-righteous man who lost his entire career in the US because he declined to bribe the officials at Bangalore University to get a duplicate of his degree certificate. He never got the certificate. He took a different job and eventually returned to India. Good man. But no, not me, I ain't pretending to be him who is going to set everything right. I got only so much fight and I don't wanna be crying at my own plight. If you have read the book, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, you will need no introduction to the concept. The Earth is being destroyed for a hyperspace route by an alien race called the Vogons and when puny Earthlings feebly protest, they are told that the notice of demolition had been put up in the local affairs office at the Alpha Star System for 50 of Earth years and if they can not be bothered to check with local affairs, it's their lookout. The Vogon ends with "I don't know, apathetic bloody planet, I have no sympathy at all!" That's how the Indian legal system works. Ask me.	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2012-06-28 03:44:00
India	police clearance certificate India	My passport was issued in Bangalore. Tatkal, no adverse report. I reside in Pune. I got my PCC from Pune. It included a letter from the commissioner and a stamp at the back of my passport from the Pune RPO saying I am cleared for entry into the US. It took 1.5 months and a lot of 'charges and fees' to get the work done. Get the PCC from the place you have resided in for the last 6 months. Make sure you used this place as your current residence location in all your forms submitted to the consul. They want a PCC from the place you have been resident in for the last 6 months	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2012-06-28 03:15:00
India	Passport Agent in Pune	Thank you both for your replies. The problem was the address proof documents. My husband prepared the documents again and reapplied with the help of an agent. He just got his passport today. Now he needs to get the police clearance certificate. I had a Bangalore passport and I got my Police Clearance Certificate from Pune as I had been living there for 6 years. I tried to get one on my own but it was hell and I finally went through a passport agent. If you need an agent, try the one adjacent to the passport office, in front of Baba food mall. If you're in a real hurry to get the PCC, you can message me. I spent a good part of 2 months to get the dreaded PCC. All the best.	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2012-12-11 17:43:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Removal of conditions - Question!	Just to add, I am currently employed by the state for an admin position and I have an idea how the processing works.    They scan all documents into a web software and typically every employee has a quota they have to meet per day both for approving and for flagging as insufficient evidence.  We call approving 'clicking through' as we literally click our way through tens of pages of documents.    We are not allowed to look at subjective evidence at all so photographs and affidavits have little value.  We also do not have the time or liberty to sit and discuss the merits of each individual case and if a case doesn't have the required weightage of proof, they are simply sent for review to higher-ups. Nobody is emotional about disapproving a case as we rather be cautious than approve a faulty case.   Basically, I know for a fact that if I was working at USCIS and I was looking at my own ROC package, I would be forced to disapprove my own application.    We are stressed out enough already trying to make ends meet and this whole documentation thing is now starting to weigh on me.	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2013-11-08 08:53:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Removal of conditions - Question!	Hello everyone,          I got my conditional green card August, 2013 from K-1. Our marriage was almost a year ago. Nov, 2012.    We are expected to file for ROC in May, 2015.    Here are the details. When I came to the U.S on a K-1 we rented an apartment but only my wife was on the lease. They would NOT allow me to get on the lease for whatever reason. There are NO utility bills addressed to either of is. They were made to the landlord.    After 3 months, (In Feb) I had to go back to India to complete school. I was in India for 4 months and I returned in May. During this time my wife got laid off.    We live in the tri-state area and it's criminally expensive here to rent an apartment. A 1 bedroom apartment in a very average development will cost at least $1,500 a month after utilities.    I have been here 6 months now and I have realized we will not be able to rent an apartment of our own for some time.    Most young people live in shared accommodations around here for the same reason. We currently live in a room that we rented in a house and before this we used to live in another room a few miles from here. They will NOT put both our names on the lease document unless we pay double or close to double the rent. That's how it works here I have inquired in a lot of places. In fact we are not even allowed to live 2 people in the same room but because people with jobs are hard to come by, the landlord simply overlooks the fact that there are two of us.   We cannot leave the tri-state area and find a more affordable place as her parents are getting old and she visits them everyday. She's been unemployed for 9 months now and she needs something to do when I'm at work.   I don't own a car, have no car insurance or health insurance either as we simply can NOT afford it. She is on her parents car and health insurance.  Once her unemployment runs out, we will be living solely off of my income and I make very little. I am a fresh grad with no experience and they know they have us by the lobes.    Here's what we currently have and will have   Joint-account to which MY paycheck is deposited. She doesn't have a job.  We will be filing taxes together this year (2013) and next year (2014).  Since Obamacare is going into effect, health insurance is compulsory so we'll be getting it jointly effective Jan 1, 2014.  We have tons of pics. We travel a lot locally almost every week to beaches and zoos but no flights.  We have some friends here but not the types that would send  stupid greeting cards every holiday.  I find that requirement ludicrous.  In my entire life, I have probably sent a handful of greeting cards and they were all invariably for birthdays.    I could pointedly ask some friends to send us cards.   EVERYTHING they seem to want has to do with money. It's not our fault that the economy is so messed up that two educated hardworking individuals are unable to keep a roof over their heads.    Also one thing I forgot to mention is, due to our literally make-shift living situation, both of us use her parents home address for our official documents. We have  never lived with her parents though and we would NOT live there in the future either.    Can anyone help us with this situation? (Donations towards a new apartment will be most welcome )	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2013-11-08 08:35:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures	Confused... denied	As far as I know the New Delhi embassy allows DCF. You could get married, live together to fulfill the residency criteria and then file. I think the minimum is 4 months, I am not sure.    But at any cost, you would need a lot more evidence this time around unless you don't mind risking another denial. For starters, you could visit his family. Or have them come down to see you. You can include affidavits from his parents and yours, too.     If you're doing DCF, you have to find a co-sponsor unless your job in the States will wait for you.	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2013-07-02 14:48:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures	Confused... denied	I am sorry you were denied. I have heard of a lot of couples getting rejected at the New Delhi embassy especially if they're interracial.    You should have tried the Mumbai one if that was an option.    From what I can tell, the decisions are already made before they interview you. In my own case, I had a ton of evidence and the lady didn't bother looking at any of it. She asked me to sign some papers, there was some unrelated chitchat regarding work life in India and we were done.    One more thing. In my opinion, just one meeting is NOT enough. The process is expensive and you cannot afford to think about money. My wife and I probably spent over $20,000 between us just to make sure we had enough evidence before the K-1 interview and we've spent at least another $20,000 since.  She would take off work (which was extremely difficult) and I would take off school so we could meet every few months.   We had met thrice in India and once in Thailand by the time I was at the interview and I had included the boarding passes, hotel receipts, pictures with family and more in the evidence.    You can get married and go the CR-1 route but you WILL need more evidence. Spend time together. If you can live with him, do it. If you can't right now, at least add 2 more meetings in addition to this one by the time you're at the interview again.    Interview in Iraq won't be easy either as far as I know as MENA counties have higher scrutiny.   If you're heading back to the States right away, try your senator and congressman.    I know it sucks to be denied. As if we owe anyone proof for how we feel for another person but it's not over. It will take time but if you're both really determined, you can do it.   All the best	Mel and Rudy	Male	India	2013-07-02 14:27:00