biggish data

New to visajourney, need some opinions...

Here are the 2007 poverty guidelines: http://travel.state..../info_1327.html

Thanks so much for replying... now the pverty guidlines... I make plenty more than what it says ... is that all they require? I have read they check savings etc...

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2008-01-07 12:53:00

New to visajourney, need some opinions...

Hello all! I am just registering now hoping that when I have a silly question someone can give me some releif or idea of what I am dealing with. I have just finished getting all paperwork together including the forms my fiance needed to sign etc... I am using the checklist to make sure I have all in order and am going to send check and forms to Vermont on Friday or Saturday. Has anyone had any experience with this office? How long did it take to process the forms? When did they get back to you?
I am also wondering about the future and the deal with how much money I make? Anyone know what the guidlines are for income?

Thanks everyone and pray for us!!

Catherine

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2008-01-07 12:43:00

QUOTE (Bora Bora @ Jan 13 2008, 08:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

IrieCat,
I think it sounds fine. The proof that you were in St. Lucie when you tell USCIS you met is quite strong (DL and proof from daughter's school). I suggest bringing a bit of everything...don't feel like you need to load up on pictures I mean.

Thanks! Just for good measure I sent a color copy of passport will all stamps etc in it. Oh and the phone bills ... about 30 pages of it all to Louis' cell phone. I think the pictures of me, him and my daughter in St Lucia are pretty good, I sent 8 or 9 I think. If they ask both his mom and my aunt and mother will write a letter.
Also planning a trip in April if VT isnt done by that time. We opened him an e-mail account that a mutual friend will help him with... when your bathroom is outside, internet is not an option! :-) And we have just written each other an actual letter! LOL All this for future and furthur proof.
If only the people could actually see us together - we have known each other our whole lives.

Cat

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2008-01-13 21:29:00

Hi! I do have the passport stamps and the pictures are of us all in St Lucia together.
I dont have boarding passes but I do have the receipt from the flight and receipts from my daughters school in St Lucia and my apartment. I also had a ST Lucia driver's license...

Thanks for your help!!

:-)
Catherine

QUOTE (pushbrk @ Jan 10 2008, 05:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (IrieCat @ Jan 10 2008, 02:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am sure this has been asked many times but I wanted to ask again, I am just worried I will make a mistake. I plan on sending in the papers to VT tomorrow and just having my Aunt "proff read" everything tonight. For proof that I was in St Lucia and a relationship I have the following...

About 5 pics of Louis and I in St Lucia
A couple with Louis and my daughter (I am a photographer and hate my picture being taken!)
The past couple months of phone bills (calls to St Lucia adding up to about $700)

I also have my return ticket from St Lucia (lost the arrival portion)
Receipt from daughter's school on the island
Receipt for deposit on my apartment (showing my arrival day)
St Lucian driver's license

I also wrote a page explaining how I met Louis and what we did for the 6 months I was in St Lucia. This isnt really proof but I though it might help.

How does that sound? Think I should add anything if I can? We dont write letters - as you can see phone bills are high so we talk about 3 times a day! We have vowed to write a letter to each other now and then so he can bring those for interview ... just to add a bit of "proof" :-)

Thanks to all again for your help and opinions...

peace
Catherine

Proof of an ongoing bona fide relationship is needed at interview. With petition, you need to show evidence of having met within the past two years. All the above is good but the best "primary" evidence is boarding passes and passport stamps. You don't mention passport stamps but I expect you have them. Pictures are secondary evidence unless they are of the "proof of life" variety.

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2008-01-10 19:53:00

Hello! I started to use enjoy prepaid!! :-) I had to call the phone company and tell them to stop letting me call St Lucia! LOL
I can only use the calling card now... I will surely save a few (hundred) bucks!!!

Thanks for the reply!

:-)
Catherine

QUOTE (LuciansGirl @ Jan 10 2008, 05:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Welcome, IrieCat!

Nice to see another VJer who's SO is from the same country as mine.

Your proof of relationship sounds good....you may want to double-check again by reading the guides:

http://www.visajourn...mp;page=k1guide

You should start writing and sending them snail mail if a computer is not available. I also found this website helpful for phonecalls to SLU: www.enjoyprepaid.com

Good luck to you and your fiance on your journey!

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2008-01-10 19:50:00

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2008-01-10 17:12:00

waiting impatiently!

Thank you both - and yes I meant NOA1. I get my codes mixed up! :-)
I paid with personal check but I do not get those back so will have to wait for the receipt.

Cat

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2008-01-16 11:20:00

waiting impatiently!

I mailed the I-129f forms to VSC on friday. From checking online with the USPS I know they received on monday. Should I be getting a receipt in the mail from them, is that what the AOS1 is? Is this what I go online and register in order to track touches etc?

I know this is whole process is going to keep me frazzled I am a very impatient person, I like instant gratification and I drink alot of caffeine!! :-)

Thanks all!

Cat

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2008-01-16 11:09:00

The medical

QUOTE (freaked @ Mar 28 2008, 12:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks for your reply just wondering if they do hair follicle test. What drug test do they do?

No hair test :-)

I THINK the drug test is the urine test... any illegal drugs.
Blood Test for HIV

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2008-03-28 15:12:00

The medical

QUOTE (freaked @ Mar 28 2008, 10:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

can anyone let me know exactly the tests they perform on you in the medical.
I understan that it is just a physcial and blood and urine is there anything else?

Check on the Embassy pages for more info and reveiws from people who have gone through the same. But for the most part they will check for HIV, Drugs and a chest X-ray for TB. You will have to show prrof of immunizations or get them done as well.

:-)
Irie

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2008-03-28 09:55:00

Have you used a Lawyer/Law firm and if so who?

When I was still living in St Lucia and just looking into this whole thing I stressed so much about getting the money to hire a lawyer. I called a lawyer and he gave me some general info (I dont remember who I called) and he really wasnt insistent that I hire him. So I got back to the states.. sat down and really looked into what I was going to have to do. I asked my aunt, who is a bookeeper, to just proof read things before they got sent and if I had questions I would just get her opinion.
I am not really organized when it comes to paperwork etc (I am an artist LOL). I did have a few stressful days but in the end I am very proud of myself and it all worked out fine. Louis will be here in just a couple weeks.
You can really get any questions answered here on VJ.

I really think if I can do it ... anyone can! ** I am like a cheesy infomercial!!**

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2008-05-30 12:04:00

Name change

I know here in Maine she can chose whatever she wants. I have friends that dropped their middle name and kept maiden name as middle name and then new last name...
I will keep my middle name and just change last name.
It is just preference - not a rule.

Heck she could keep middle name, maiden name and add new last name!!

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2008-06-02 18:04:00

Examples

Hi! I am totally a visual person as well. I can read directions 5 times and still not "get it".... so I understand your stress. I cried a few times while compiling things feeling overwhelmed.

I followed the guides on here to the T! I read and re-read alot, I made a list and followed it.
I also have an Aunt that is much better at paperwork type stuff so I had her read the list to me while a double checked.

I did nothing fancy! I made a cover letter, listed what was in the package and then put all in the order I listed them on the cover letter.

Then I used maybe 4 paperclips (about 62cents for a box of a million at the corner store!) for the whole thing.....
Put it in an envelope (legal size so I didnt fold anything) and mailed it off.

If you take a look at my timeline you can see things went pretty smoothly. My Fiancee arrives TONIGHT!

...when it comes time for the interview at the Embassy I got a plain black binder and did the same as above, put it in and brought to my fiance. We went over details a few times so he would have the confidence of knowing what was going on. It's tough as the SO (well at least in my case) becuase I did all the paperwork and it was the 1st time he saw all that I did!!!

Good luck to you!!

:-)
Catherine

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2008-06-14 12:59:00

getting the k-1 packet ready

You can call Nobel customer service and ask for the actual numbers you dialed using the phone card. I think they will ask you to fax them an official request and they e-mail or send you the records. This is what I did.

Good Luck!

Oh and I used paper clips too...

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2009-03-17 11:38:00

Letter From Parents

My husband included a couple e-mails my mother and aunt had written to him. They had been to St Lucia to visit him when I was living there. The e-mails did come in handy... when he went for the interview they asked if I had met his family and vice versa... he had the e-mails from my family saying how they were looking forward to seeing him here in the US and were excited about him being part of the family.

The interviewer was happy that we had met each other's family....

Good luck to you... and have fun in Jamaica!! Lucky you!

....Irie

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2009-04-13 08:06:00

G-325A Photo

Do you have AAA? They will do a picture pretty cheap. US Post Office will take them. The UPS store will take the pictures. Look in your yellow pages under photo developing... there are soooooooooooo many places that will do them for just a couple dollars.

Then you wont have to second guess yourself and you know it will be correct.

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2008-06-28 20:23:00

planning a wedding

Do you want a big wedding? Smaller would probably be easier... :-)

When my now husband got his visa approved we started to set a date... We chose a date for about 3 months after he arrived.. it was only a week or 2 before the deadline. We made it real simple.. my aunt is a JOTP. Maybe you know someone that is a JOTP or a friend or family member can even get ordained quickly! I guess this all depends on how religious you want it to be.
We got married outside in the summer... local park, by the river. It cost $50 to reserve the day.

Spending lots of money and going broke doesnt make the day more special. We probably spent under $2000 (including reception that my aunt paid for as a gift). My family really helped out with everything.. my best friend even bought my dress as a wedding gift!

Good luck to you! You will have a wonderful day no matter what!

....Irie

IrieCat

Female

Saint Lucia

2009-04-14 19:14:00

plz i need help

There are bad people all over the world and just as many good ones. Why are u all making assumptions?? None of us really know what happened and yet some of you jump to conclusions that this guy must be Nigerian and he's scamming?? HMMMM.........WTH?? Sorry but it kind of pisses me off since my husband and his entire family is from Lagos Nigeria.

~M

QUOTE (Perseverance @ Oct 18 2008, 08:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (himher @ Oct 18 2008, 06:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

(laughing) Does THIS sound like one of those Nigerian email scams or what?

QUOTE (ReneeandSimoxp @ Oct 17 2008, 12:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hi everybody im really in a bad situation and i donno wut to do i got my K1 visa then i come to the state for to live with my fiancee and get married but when i came here i called her and guess wut she sad im sorry im with my boy friend she didnt tell me anything about that befor i came here i only got on way airplane ticket and now im brok i donno wut to do im only with a friend from another state i spent 4 days in a motell in the town where my fiancee lives and in the last day she sent me her bf with a gun telling me to leave or he will gonna kill me now plz advice me wut can i do i cant go to my home contery i have noone there all i had was my fother and he is died 9 months ago im lost nomoney i have nothing only god plz plz give me some advice coz i rally donno wut to do

tsk tsk now

...not ALL bank scammers are Nigerian...others are learning too

but yes I did look to see if the country was Nigeria after I read it....

babynursetobe

Female

Nigeria

2008-10-19 14:17:00

Can my Fiance come to US while waiting for 129F?

This question has really affected our plans for filing. We were planning to file while he is here visiting in September. Then we found out that whether or not he can visit depends on the whim of the person processing him the day he tries to enter. I don't want to spend another Christmas alone crying, and not wanting to risk his Christmas visit, we have put off plans for filing until he arrives in December.

I have seen many people mention visitng while the Visa is processing, and my question is this : How common is it for people to be denied entry even if they bring proof of ties?

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2008-07-23 19:55:00

Just got back from the US

QUOTE (Damian P @ Jul 23 2008, 07:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Sherri and Matt @ Jul 23 2008, 06:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Our routine gets us through. Our long distance daily routine is actually the one we call "normal"...........

Nail on head. Me and 'er indoors have been long-distance for 7 years now; it's all we really know. I'm guessing you and your bloke are quite new as a couple? All that weeping and wailing ####### stops after about 18 months, and by 3 years you'll only be talking at the weekends!

I thought I wouldn't get sick of him until he is actually living here...this does not bode well...

You made me laugh.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2008-07-23 07:22:00

Just got back from the US

I miss him every minute, of every day. I always have an extra day off work after he leaves, because I come home from the airport, go straight to bed and do not get up except to talk to him when he gets there. The crying usually starts the day before he leaves, and it is not unusual for me to get physically sick. There is always a moment of panic at the airport as he walks away to get on that plane, and I feel like I can't really breathe until I see him get off that plane months later.

We all do this because of how we feel when we are together. I tell myself it is just time, and it will pass. I actually find a lot of comfort in the clothes he leaves behind, it is very tangible evidence of his presence when he is so far away. For a few days, I can still smell him, and that is hard. Or I walk into a room and a memory will hit me and next thing I know I am crying. Again. We are a big big part of each others daily lives, we talk in the morning before work, and spend hours every night online together. It helps that we game together, that's hours of us doing things together. This is home, and he just has to go away to the UK to work for a little while longer. It seems like a little thing, but him saying "I'm just going to work" sounds better than "going home" and all the little things add up.

Our routine gets us through. Our long distance daily routine is actually the one we call "normal". After a visit, there is always a few days of misery, then we get back to normal. I think probably every couple here has that normal routine, and we all have little things that mean something special. Those are the things that will get you through this.

Edited by Sherri and Matt, 23 July 2008 - 06:36 AM.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2008-07-23 06:34:00

QUOTE (Damian P @ Jul 29 2008, 07:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Sherri and Matt @ Jul 29 2008, 06:16 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen. We all have fears and I asked my SO what if he hates it here? He said "then I leave" with a shrug.

Don't sugar-coat it, Matt, just say it like it is!

Fair play to the bloke!

I should have gone on to say he follows that up with "It will work, I will make it work and I won't hate it there, now stop WORRYING, you worry too much."

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2008-07-29 06:28:00

You do not seem sure of things. Listen to your gut and don't make any commitments until you are sure.

Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen. We all have fears and I asked my SO what if he hates it here? He said "then I leave" with a shrug. So the worst case senario for that is, he goes back to the UK.

If we didn't do this, then I would miss out on the love of my life. That is worst thing of all.

There are so many things that make me sure of him, things about his character, his morals, the kind of person he is, and how I feel when I am with him. When you know, you know.

When you work hard for something it means more. We try to teach kids this, to earn things they really want so they appreciate it more. This is an incredibly difficult situation, and we are working so hard to be together, we won't take it for granted.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2008-07-29 06:16:00

QUOTE (KarenCee @ Jul 26 2008, 11:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Sherri and Matt @ Jul 26 2008, 11:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (KimandRuss @ Jul 26 2008, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (tallcoolone @ Jul 26 2008, 06:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You have a lot of odds in your favor:

1. Divorce is illegal in PI, so the PI woman is not raised in the mindset of if I am not happy I will get a Divorce.

2. What ever makes you happy will make her happy, this is the beauty of PI wife.

3. You are lucky to have Philippine Fiance, Common Knowledge is they make the best wives.

wow.

WOW

That explains a lot. I don't know if I am more offended as a woman or just as a human in general.

Meh, he's just trying to stir the pot y'all...I wouldn't pay him any attention. This sentiment has spun around VJ before. There isn't one nationality or culture any better than another.

OH I am not offended at all by the implication that a certain nationality or culture is better, because that is all very dependant on what you are looking for. I feel bad for these women, and my offense is on their behalf. I will be marrying a man that expects to have a wife that is his partner and his equal, not a servant with no mind of her own. In some cultures. it is very easy to control a woman and smack her around if she gets out of line, and get away with it, unlike here where many American women actually fight back. I guess men who want that sort of thing know where to go to get it don't they?

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2008-07-26 11:07:00

QUOTE (KimandRuss @ Jul 26 2008, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (tallcoolone @ Jul 26 2008, 06:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

wow.

WOW

That explains a lot. I don't know if I am more offended as a woman or just as a human in general.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2008-07-26 10:22:00

I might have to give up hope :(

Chelle,

Your ex controlled your life for 16 years, don't let him control the rest of it, you took back your life and he has no power over you anymore. Don't let the fear he put in you, and the powelessness he made you feel affect your life anymore.

If Matt could not come here, I would go there. My 15 year old daughter hates the idea of moving and leaving her friends, so I understand that. I try to be very logical and I see 2 possible options for myself in that situation. 1. She would come with me to England whether she liked it or not, get over it, and have a wonderful life experience. And she would, get over it. 2. She stays here. Where she would most likely realize that dad is not so nice and it really sucks not having mom around to take care of her and listen to her and just plain be there for her. Then she would come to England, and have a wonderful life experience. The possiblilty is also there that she would be just fine here without me. Either way me NOT being with Matt is NOT an option and not something I will even consider for a moment.

My ex is a tool too, and it breaks my heart everytime my daughters come to a new level realization of how horrible he is, but I can do nothing to change that, only he can change that. One potential problem for you is that he refuse to allow you to take her, I don't know what your custody agreement is. In mine, I have physical custody but I can't move my kids out of the state without his permission. That could be a big issue.

Keep working on the co-sponsor thing. A lot people here say just ask your family, but those are the people that have supportive, loving families and some people just don't have that. It's too bad they can't see how much better off you are with someone that respects you and treats you and your children as you should be treated.

Hang in there, I am always here to listen.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2008-09-04 14:09:00

Possible Birth Certificate problem

I totally lied....I have a 3rd concern.

The name on my SS card is Sherri and on my BC its Sherrie. My mom always spelled it sherri and I always did. I never knew it was ie until I got my driver's license and they of course went by ie. I spent 30 minutes talking to the SSA and they said apparently when my mom got my SSN she put down sherri and back then they did not verify with BC. I bet Homeland Security does.

I need some Valium.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2008-10-24 12:46:00

Possible Birth Certificate problem

I am the USC and I am engaged to a UK citizen. I am starting to gather official documents and I have only 2 concerns.

My mother did not disclose my father's name on my birth certificate. All the info says it needs to have the names of both of my parents, but mine has my mother's name and for father it says "Undisclosed". Has anyone else had this?

The only other thing that makes me nervous about us is on his birth certificate. The funny family tale says that his dad was giving the information to the people for his birth certificate while his mother rested, and his dad gave the wrong date of birth for his mother. I don't know how in depth they check or anything, and everything else is accurate.

I appreciate any advice or help. Maybe I am worried for nothing. I think we are very fortunate that in all of our research these are the only 2 things we worry about, but like everyone else, the ANXIETY!

Edited by Sherri and Matt, 24 October 2008 - 12:27 PM.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2008-10-24 12:26:00

Name spelled differently...

QUOTE (junglejao @ Dec 21 2008, 03:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don't think I would worry about it. If you have a driver's license, in addition to your social security card, with the spelling you have used your whole life, you should be fine. If you think about when you change your name after marriage, you change your social security card and your driver's license to make it official. If those things match, then I believe that is your legal identity. If you have a passport with that spelling as well, then I definitely think there will be no problem.

One thing you might consider doing is including your name as it is listed on your BC on the forms when they ask for "other/previous names used".

Good luck!

My driver's license also has the "ie" spelling. I don't have a passport, but I imagine it would also go by my birth certificate and be an ie as well. I will definately put it down under the other name part where you also put your maiden name, but it was my understanding you needed to have documents proving those changes, for example a marriage license. I have nothing to explain why the E is dropped on my marriage certificate and divorce.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2008-12-21 16:05:00

Name spelled differently...

We are finally preparing everything to send off to Vermont at the end of this week!

The ONLY thing that worries me is that my name is spelled 2 different ways on documents. My Birth Certificate is SherriE ( I am the USC) and everything else I have my name is spelled SherrI. No E. My whole life I spelled my name with only an I, it has only an I on my social security card, just an I on my former marriage license and my divorce decree, I sign my name with just an I. I never even knew my birth certificate was with an E on the end. I know you have to show proof of any name changes so I called the SS Administration and they said they have always had me with just an I because that is the spelling my mother used when she applied for the card when I was a baby. The lady told me back in those days they did not confirm as carefully with birth records as they do now. My mom says the hospital mispelled my name on the BC.

Has anyone out there had anything like this? My concern is because my BC is what establishes my citizenship and it doesn't exactly match all the other stuff. The SSA told me it would take about 90 days to get documention that my mom got my card with that spelling. If I end up with an RFE that takes 90 days just to get supporting evidence...I am going over the edge!

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2008-12-21 14:31:00

Both sides of birth certificate?

Maine BC have a number on the back that matches a number on the front, the one on the front is inside the raised seal showing it is certified. I wondered about that too so I looked closely and I figured that is just one way to show the BC is valid.

Edited by Sherri and Matt, 20 January 2009 - 06:52 AM.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2009-01-20 06:51:00

What Exactly Provides Proof of Ties

My fiancee is afraid to try and come visit while his visa is pending, he does not want to risk getting turned away. He has some time off work, several weeks, and we would really like to spend it together. I know the chance is always there at POE to be turned away and I have read here about bringing plenty proof of ties to home country. What exactly constitutes that? Can someone give me some examples? I know a return ticket is good. I have read about people showing employment, how exactly do you do that? Do you need a letter from your employer, a pay stub? How about rent reciepts?

I appreciate any help.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2009-02-04 20:30:00

London K-1 Visa...

Click on the My Timeline link in the left column under your name. Fill in the date you applied and the date of your NOA1. Once you do that, at the bottom of the timeline it will give you an estimated processing date. My NOA1 was 1/12/09 and my estimate is May 27- June7. After that you can click on the Immigration Timeline link at the top of the page, go to Igor's list, filter the search to the service center you applied at, and it will show you where you are on the list. We have moved up from 358 to 316 just in the past week. It's encouraging to see it getting closer!!

Once you get the Visa, you have 6 months to use it and enter the States. Once in the States, you must get married within 90 days or you violate the terms of the visa.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2009-03-09 06:56:00

I-94 from last visit not turned in

I had no idea where to post this moderaters, let me apologize if it is in the wrong place.

My fiancee told me that he did not turn in his i-94 on his return trip in January. He says they did not collect them, I have no idea if they did or not. I am worried that it will look like he did not leave the country, and that would put him into what looks like an overstay. Does anyone have any idea how to fix this?

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2009-03-31 06:14:00

G-325A: Section on Father/Mother

My father's name is not on my birth certificate, it just says undisclosed. I put "unknown" for my father's info on my paperwork and we got our NOA2 with no RFE. Also, my maiden name is the same as my mother's, I never had my father's name, never used it and it was not questioned.

Edited by Sherri and Matt, 08 June 2009 - 05:40 AM.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2009-06-08 05:39:00

will the frequency of visiting US while K1 pending making a difference?

Visiting will not cause a K-1 denial, but visiting too much may cause them to deny you a visit and not let you enter the country.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2009-07-08 05:28:00

How to go on...

QUOTE (swoozygirl @ Jul 20 2009, 07:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

He is flying to go back home this wednesday. I am really having a hard time with it. I am trying to stay strong. He has been in the U.S for one year. I am looking for some advice on how other couples make it work?

You make it work by reminding yourself what your options are. When I would cry to the point of vomiting on goodbye days. When I wouild wake up in the morning and for just a second, forget that he wasn't there, just to have the realization crash down on me again. When I would go once again to "family" functions at my daughter's school, or at my job, and I was the only single woman around. When I was counting, months, then weeks, then days, then hours, finally minutes until I could touch him again. When I would have these rages and just want to scream and throw something and yell that I want OFF the emotional roller roaster my life had become.

I like to deal with things logically usually, and logic told me, I could put up with it and get through somehow, or I could give up and lose the best thing that ever came into my life. I had to remind myself of those 2 options SO many times, but I can't even imagine life without him a part of it everyday, and I feel quite ill if I try to think about it. We all make choices, we chose this journey with the good AND the bad, and just remind yourself...someday...it will be worth it.

Some people on here like to post in these kinds of threads things along the lines of "get over it, time will pass quickly, you are almost done be thankful you are not so-and-so" I don't find those kind of comments helpful at all, more like a slap in the face. Reality is defined by the person experiencing it, and though I'm glad some people sailed through this with hardly a bother, I have hated every second of the waiting and I have done it kicking and screaming and b!+@=!$@. It's like childbirth, it hurts like hell and sometimes you think you would give almost anything to just have it over, but at the end you have a wonderful person in your life, and it changes everything.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2009-07-21 08:55:00

Notification

It's difficult to answer without more information. What VISA did you apply for? What stage of that process are you on?

It helps us, help you.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2009-07-30 05:30:00

Benificiary Change of Address

My fiancee was made redundant at his job while we were waiting for approval so he went to France to stay with his parents. It was no problem at all for him to go back to the UK for his physical and interview. He had a friend forward his mail, and even had them open it and call him if it was from the embassy. It may have made our wait just a few days longer because of the added time mailing things, but that is the only thing I can think of that was different.

Sherri and Matt

Female

England

2009-09-24 17:40:00