Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Any Doctor Will Tell You...	QUOTE (slim @ Aug 13 2008, 06:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (emmulator @ Aug 12 2008, 09:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> and noticed a link to www.maxim.ru -- I think maybe I'd find the kind of advice I'm looking for there, if only I could read it! Using the "advice" found in maxim, whether here or there, is never a good idea when dealing with your S/O. For some reason, the advice in maxim makes sense to us, but they just don't get it. Stick to the Cosmo and Elle and you'll be the "best husband ever in 60 days!" (Good pics over there too, by the way.) Yes, well, I wasn't actually serious about using advice from maxim. I was just having a laugh with the idea of responding to her concerns with advice from a men's magazine. "Yes dear, I understand your concerns about arousal, that's why I've been studying this article on 'Do It Like A Porn Star'." QUOTE (Scott and Iryna @ Aug 13 2008, 08:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (eekee @ Aug 13 2008, 10:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> All of the above could be solved by hormonal birth control, which Russians also are scared of. Don't even get me started about the the whole "pill" thing... It baffled me, the stringent resistance to taking the pill. ... When I asked why there was so much resistance to the pill, to my surprise the most common response was "because it causes weight gain!" There's definitely a different attitude towards medication. Here in America, we take pills for just about everything, and most people think nothing of taking medication over long periods of time, even for their whole lives. Many adults have a daily regimen. But my fiancée finds this notion very strange. I guess the idea is you should only take remedies for immediate issues, and then stop. Frankly, I have a lot of sympathy for this attitude. We'd probably be better off adjusting our diets and exercising more etc. I honestly couldn't tell you whether the medicine I take for blood pressure does anything or not. At least with The Pill, you can tell a difference. But I imagine much of the resistance has to do with this not being "natural" and a concern for unknown side-effects. At least that's the kind of thing my fiancée often brings up in this context; "How do you know what it's doing to you?" And once again, years of medical research and actual experience don't count for much. You can always find that one article on the Internet that says it makes you fat!	emmulator	Male	Ukraine	2008-08-13 12:11:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Any Doctor Will Tell You...	QUOTE (PJB @ Aug 7 2008, 10:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You are looking in all the wrong places for this topic. Try www.ellegirl.ru and www.cosmo.ru. These and any other female audience magazines give Russian girls and women advice on lots of health topics, especially sex. The articles are always written by Russian doctors who are just as popular and respected in Russia and Ukraine as are the American doctor/authors over here. And the advice is frequently along the lines of your ????????'s theory. So your best bet is not to fight the cultural belief but figure out how to work with it! These magazines will have not only the "problem" but advice on how to solve it (all from a source your honey will believe!) I would try this advice, except I can't read Russian yet. I did go to those sites though, and noticed a link to www.maxim.ru -- I think maybe I'd find the kind of advice I'm looking for there, if only I could read it! Actually, if anyone has seen any article on any site (in any language) that deals with my original topic, I'd be interested. I can always get it translated. QUOTE (Ana&D @ Aug 10 2008, 04:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'll just chip in true Ukrainian's prospective. Why we do swear on getting colds from "house wind" created by open windows/doors and horrible concequenses of seating on the granit for females, I've never ever heard that it might be unhealthy not to achieve "full release"... Thanks for this -- it's good to hear that this isn't universal knowledge for all Ukrainians -- that gives me hope. I'm wondering if maybe even she just misunderstood something that someone said to her at some point, and since these topics don't come up very often, she's never actually been corrected. For example, maybe she misunderstood the bit about celibacy or abstinence being unhealthy.	emmulator	Male	Ukraine	2008-08-12 20:06:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Any Doctor Will Tell You...	It seems some of you have misunderstood my situation. Here in the US, when we think of "Blue Balls", it's primarily a male condition, hence the name. And I too had always thought of it as just a made up condition that guys would tell women about to convince them to "go all the way". But after reading around, I see that it's a real condition in that some guys can experience discomfort, and that even some women can experience this, but I haven't seen anywhere that claims it can actually be harmful to your health. However, this particular Ukrainian belief is that arousal without completion is bad for both women and men. And yes, the particular Ukrainian of significance to me has decided that the appropriate response is not to ensure a happy ending for everyone, but rather to avoid the arousal in the first place! It reminds me of my own reaction to something my grandmother used to say: "Give a lazy man a job and he'll find an easy way to do it." I always used to think, wouldn't a truly lazy man just not do the job? And yeah, I don't think telling her what American doctors would say will help. I guess I was kind of hoping some Ukrainians or Russians would say that they had never heard of this, or that they know of this as some kind of folklore, so that I could at least say "See, some of your own people don't believe this either." To her it seems like a universal truth that we have somehow overlooked. It would be kind of awkward for me to take a poll when I'm there visiting her to see if the belief is as widespread as she says. An alternative would be to find some reputable site that actually discusses this question. I have been able to make progress on some other topics by demonstrating that the preponderance of discussions lean one way or another. And to be fair, I've stopped drinking diet soda after reading various things about aspartame. She told me Americans were "naive" to believe that diet soda has no sugar, and that in fact the chemicals in it were far worse for you than sugar. I still don't believe that diet soda has sugar, at least not what we buy here in America. But I mostly only drink soda because it's free at work, and I'm perfectly happy to drink iced tea instead. But other than "Blue Balls", I can't even figure out what to search for on this arousal topic. And the keyword "arousal" doesn't help much either. Thanks for the help and support!	emmulator	Male	Ukraine	2008-08-07 23:22:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Any Doctor Will Tell You...	So I've been reading some of the threads on cultural differences and having a good laugh, but there's one that 's come up for me and my Ukrainian fiancée that I would like to get some feedback on. She is "surprised that [Americans] don't know" that it is bad for your health (either a man or a woman) to become sexually aroused and not, um, achieve 'release' (to be polite). I've heard of "Blue Balls", but I've never seen anyone claim that it could actually be bad for you. You just 'release' or take a cold shower. I can research the effects of cold drinks, but other than "Blue Balls", I don't even know what to search for on this one. According to her, "any doctor will tell you" about this, and the effects include diseases of some sort. Things like beliefs about cold drinks don't worry me, but in this case, it affects aspects of our relationship that are important to me, like intimacy. It's frustrating to me to think that intimacy would have to be all or nothing. I like lots of physical intimacy, like cuddling etc., and it doesn't always have to involve sex. I would hate to think that she's being less intimate or physical with me just because we're not going to "go all the way" every time we kiss! Yes, I'm exaggerating, but you get the idea. Has anyone else heard this idea from their Ukrainian or Russian partner? Can anyone explain what the physiological process involved here is supposed to be? Is there any actual medical research that I can see that would back this up? Please don't try to speculate about her or my motives (e.g. "She's just telling you that to get you to back off sexually"). I have no reason to doubt that she is being honest and straightforward with me. All I want is more information on this belief system. From reading the other threads, it would seem there may be some interesting differences between the way medicine is practiced there and here, and I'd also be interested and entertained by any other such examples of the differences! (Which is why I left the subject generic ) Thanks!	emmulator	Male	Ukraine	2008-08-07 00:54:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures	Whos left from march	I just found out that our case has been approved as of September 7 but they didn't update their website up until one hour ago! Well, I'm celebrating now. I'm sure approvals will start rolling out for our group.	Olga/Armond	Not Telling	Belarus	2006-09-11 15:39:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures	Whos left from march	We are in the same boat. NOA 03-23-2006, RFE CSC Received 07-27-06, no word yet.	Olga/Armond	Not Telling	Belarus	2006-09-11 09:34:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures	it's been 3 weeks since NOA2	Thanks for the info Shakil, I'm just gonna hang in there as you advised. I'll try calling next week sometime.	Olga/Armond	Not Telling	Belarus	2006-09-21 18:37:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures	it's been 3 weeks since NOA2	Our case has a NOA2 date of 09-07-06. So I decided to contact NVC yesterday. Like your case, they had no record of it, meaning they have not received it. I called USCIS to inquire what's up with our approved case. They said it might take an additional 30 days for processing. I asked them ####### are you processing on an approved case? Then, the supervisor grabbed the phone and told me that some cases they send directly to the embasssy, in our case, Warsaw, bypassing NVC. I argued with her that it's impossible, she said not so. She said in most cases NVC has nothing to process on an approved K1 case. I told her that I've read and heard otherwise, i.e. I thought NVC runs a name check, etc.. She said she was sure that sometimes cases are sent directly to embassies. She, however, did not say it was the case with ours, #######? She said if 6 weeks has passed and neither of the NVC and the embassy has our case, I should call the Department of State, she also gave me their pone number. I really doubt there is any truth to what I was told. Does anyone know better? Thank you for your expertise and good luck with the process.	Olga/Armond	Not Telling	Belarus	2006-09-21 16:31:00