ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
United KingdomWhere can I get my brains washed

There ARE people in York who are nice to me; the people I worked with were, for the most part, very nice...but for me the negatives outweigh the positives and though people here can be superficially friendly, I've found it almost impossible to make friends here. Most of my friends in the UK have been fellow foreigners, and for the last couple of years I haven't even put forth the effort to try to make friends with people.


I have to say that I'm a little saddened by this. As a resident of York for four years, I'd like to think it was a pretty friendly place - friendlier than some parts of the Yorkshire Dales! In fact, if I was to consider anywhere my home, it would probably be York. To be fair, most of my friends were from the university. Perhaps the very fact that such a proportion of York residents ARE students makes it a little more cosmopolitan, and hopefully a little less forbidding to "outsiders".

That said, some of the "locals" could be pretty hostile to students. But the students usually asked for it. I always considered myself a little above this, however, as I was born and brought up in Yorkshire...

Its been said before - everyone's experience is different.
RubyconMale02007-05-23 12:56:00
United KingdomWhere can I get my brains washed

I've never felt that sort of acceptance in the UK...even if you naturalize, you're still a foreigner.


I think that depends what type of area you're in. In some mainly rural parts, yeah, you'd have to have been inbreeding for several hundered years before you were accepted as "local".

...perhaps this particular can of worms needs to be resealed quickly!
RubyconMale02007-05-23 10:54:00
United KingdomWhere can I get my brains washed

I am aware that they were brought up in classrooms with flags flying and hand on heart and George Washington could not tell a lie - but is it too late for me to be socially adjusted to think like them ?


I have no wish to continue the explosive fight in this thread but I will say this:

As a British person who has had the privilege of visiting an American high school, yes, it did seem strange at first to witness the pledge of allegiance and the stars and stripes in the classrooms.

But consider this - how do you promote unity among a student body where a third are hispanic, a third white, and a third black (roughly speaking)? You demonstrate to them what they all have in common - their nationality - right from the newly naturalised hispanic student who speaks broken English to the white kid who can trace his ancestry back to the baby-eating bishop of Bath and Wells who stepped off the Mayflower...

I'm not saying that promoting national pride in students is the only way to foster a collective identity, but I'm sure it goes a long way. Perhaps any Americans who went to a culturally mixed high school would like to comment?

Do we have the same type of unity in British schools? In the one where I teach (which is predominantly white) there is no problem with student unity. But what about an ethnically diverse school in the middle of Birmingham, for example? I visited a school there a couple of months back and sat in on a class specifically designed to help recent (mainly African muslim) immigrants to integrate into their schools and new lives. I'm sure that the teachers there were doing their best to help these new students - not least with language difficulties - but I couldn't help but feel that a little bit more celebratory British flag flying would not go amiss.

So why is it that the British press recently got all wound up about the fact that we're supposedly losing our national identity because of immigration (witness the sudden panic that we now need to teach "Britishness" in classes - whatever that is)?

Maybe we shouldn't be too quick to dismiss American flag-flying as some kind of device to deny independent thought - after all, America's vast amounts of immigrants (us) seem to be doing little to erode its national identity.

Tea and cream scone, anyone?
RubyconMale02007-05-23 08:32:00
United KingdomTough justice for Asbos at York museum

"While I'm by no means advocating a return to the punishments of old


I am!

Great to see what you can get absolutely free in this country when you're a chav. Chavs were the reason that the NRA was founded, because the Americans decided that they actually wanted to be able to do something about the little sods if any of them made it over the Atlantic. Thats why chavs wear those puffy jackets - as a floatation aid. In fact, if you read the full constitution it actually says "the right of the militia to bear arms against spotty little Kevs annoying ordinary decent people driving their ####### 'modded' cars around pretending its actually cool for what you drive to sound like an irate wasp."
RubyconMale02007-05-25 11:37:00
United KingdomWhat should I buy in the UK?

(yes yes insert your fat joke here, I can take it :P )


Faaaaaaaat!

Purchase a healthy stock of real Irn Bru.


Definitely!


Just one sensible thought though people - you might want to be careful carrying UK over-the-counter painkillers to the US. I'm sure there must be some kind of restrictions on bringing in stuff when it is prescription only in the US.
RubyconMale02007-05-24 08:18:00
United KingdomWhat should I buy in the UK?

Trader Joes is a good place if you've got one, other places look for "Cabot" Vermont Cheddar with the black wrapper.


Thanks for the tip.

Anyhow, I think its more about what US stuff isn't available in the UK...

...Reeses Bites, anyone? :D

Posted Image


Okay, to be fair I just found this image on a UK food site but whatever, its not like you see 'em everywhere.
RubyconMale02007-05-23 12:07:00
United KingdomWhat should I buy in the UK?
One food item that I haven't yet seen in the US (maybe I just haven't looked hard enough) and will miss lots is big slabs of tasty non-processed cheddar cheese!

Though quite how you'd transport that I have no idea...
RubyconMale02007-05-23 11:20:00
United KingdomUK, US Banking

I just called them and they quoted me a rate 4.5 cents better than the one Nationwide has.

I really hope this isn't a scam.


As an example, xe.com gave me a rate of USD1.95 to GBP1 when the "mid market" exchange rate was USD1.98 to GBP1. Seems pretty good to me (surely better than withdrawing USD from an ATM using a UK debit card??)

Note that xe.com charges no transfer fee...

Edited by Rubycon, 04 June 2007 - 10:43 AM.

RubyconMale02007-06-04 10:42:00
United KingdomUK, US Banking
I have used xe.com currency exchange to transfer money from my UK account to my US account. They are a Canadian company. You pay your money from your UK account to the broker (in the UK) via BACS (for which there is obviously no charge) and it arrives in the US via EFT (no charge also). All this is easy to do through online banking services. No charges, and they offer competitive rates. It worked for me.

My UK and US bank do not work together officially or have a presence in each other's country. There are no bank charges involved.

Edited by Rubycon, 04 June 2007 - 10:10 AM.

RubyconMale02007-06-04 10:09:00
United KingdomWhy did you choose the US?
Kinda funny this has come up right now, as a recent visit to my family has made me think about exactly these questions.

For me and my fiancee, I think we'd have made it work whichever country we ended up staying in. However in between the end of our time at university (where we met) and now, my fiancee returned to the US, found work and now earns a good salary, and I'm just completing teacher training which hasn't really worked out. Financially it makes sense as she makes more money than I do and will do next year despite becoming a "Newly Qualified Teacher". I'm now considering a career jump (into sound for TV/film) and Chicago seems like a good place to do it! If I tried this in the UK, I'd pretty much have to move to London, which I hate the idea of (not even considering the cost of living there).

I think my SO would have been agreeable to moving to the UK, but it just hasn't worked out that way.

And I think I liked what I saw of the US. Its going to be exciting/daunting/scary to start a new life there.
RubyconMale02007-06-02 04:37:00
United KingdomFavourite English word or phrase (or Irish or Scottish ....

I hate anyone using the term 'chicken' as a term of endearment


..he he.. my SO would agree with you... she's not too impressed that I refer to her as poultry (NOT old bird I hasten to add)..

My favourite word so far that I picked up from you lot is lollygagging (translates as dawdling for English people)!
RubyconMale02007-06-05 09:32:00
United KingdomMedical done

OK - so this may be a silly question, but here goes anyway. Does scheduling your medical early seem to have any effect on when your interview is scheduled? I know there are some people that wait until close to interview date to do the medical and others (like us) that schedule the medical as soon as they get the LND file #. Just curious if you guys that have been around a while have noticed any real difference there. I did a search, but there wasn't really anything I could find on this other than people asking about the delays involved with having the medical only a day or so before the interview.


When I had my medical back in early May, the doctor I saw seemed to believe that having my medical early would speed things up. She said I would probably hear about an interview in about two weeks (obviously I didn't as I hadn't sent back my checklist). In my case, it doesn't seem to have speeded things up. But there ya go.
RubyconMale02007-06-18 04:42:00
United KingdomMedical done

Rubycon I pass to you the VJ spirit stick. It helped the last person I gave it to maybe it will bring you the love as well.
*pass the beautiful and shiney VJ spirit stick*


Thats great, just be careful where you put the shiney VJ love stick as I'm still limping from the last time...

Ahhh - good luck to you on that interview. Have you tried calling DOS to see if it has already been scheduled by any chance?


Thanks, yeah I called the DOS line - the woman I spoke to was nice and helpful, but no news. She just said that the Embassy had received Packet 3. Well, at least Royal Mail didn't screw up :)
RubyconMale02007-06-16 06:32:00
United KingdomMedical done

Well, I don't believe in God so does that mean the only option for me is to pray to the State Department when we want rain? :girlwerewolf2xn: :P


I'm sure they'd be happy to do some cloud seeding for you...

Right, now its my turn to grumble. I'll be screwed if the interview takes longer than usual to schedule as my employment contract expires at the end of August, and with it my place to live...
RubyconMale02007-06-14 14:19:00
United KingdomWhere to get your US Passport Photos
I went to an independent photographers in Lye, West Midlands (see www.portrait4u.co.uk) to get mine done. I called the Snappy Snaps in Birmingham and they said £15 for two (and of course, if you read the paperwork, you have to have three - despite the fact that my photo for the medical was cut to a different size!), so I thought I'd pass on that.

The place in Lye charged £20 for three - not exactly cheap but they are excellent quality, bang on spec, and your image is kept on their files if you need reprints. Recommended if you're in the West Midlands.
RubyconMale02007-06-22 13:42:00
United KingdomGoodbye
I tend to lurk here unless I've got anything useful to say.

I think the nature of the VJ community is that we're a lot of people under a LOT of pressure.

I said in previous posts that frustration with long distance relationships, and the fact that our futures seeming so fragile in the hands of US immigration, mean that anger sometimes boils over.

I don't think that there's any excuse for going out of your way to make someone else feel bad. Yeah HA can be a little outspoken. But as we're the only bunch of people who actually have any idea of the pressures involved in this process (hardly a day goes past at work without me wanting to tell someone that they in no way understand the situation I'm in and to shut their cake hole) we should instead go out of our way to be supportive to each other.

That is why this place exists.

On a slightly lighter note, if you've got anger... go here: http://www.khaaan.com

Edit: I'm not trying to say that I understand what HA is feeling in her situation. I'm talking about visa situations. Sorry for any confusion.

Edited by Rubycon, 22 June 2007 - 01:59 PM.

RubyconMale02007-06-22 13:56:00
United KingdomThis is the waiting for packet 4 thread.

I kept getting the "this message has been deleted without being read" thing.


What a stupid message to give as a reply. They could at least put "you're mail has been received and will be dealt with soon".

The future is with the DOS line, folks. Polite and helpful both times I called (will call again this afternoon - really musn't become obsessed with this though!)
RubyconMale02007-06-21 06:57:00
United KingdomThe World’s Best Candy Bars? English, of Course
I'd definitely agree that a Hershey's bar doesn't come close to British chocolate. Most of the big brands have been mentioned, but lets not forget 'Divine' which is a Fairtrade brand - its absolutely gorgeous. I have developed rather a taste for Reese's bites though - nothing we have over here compares to them!

Dammit - now I've got to run to the store for choccy!! (L)
RubyconMale02007-07-16 13:38:00
United KingdomFriday whinge from the maven
Yeah I'm gonna whinge about the weather, too - I mean, hello? Its JULY! And its COLD! And I have to wear a JACKET when I go out!?

My SO calls me in the middle of the night because its too hot and humid in the Chicago burbs for her to sleep!

Yeah, cooking for one. Its too much effort. Take-out it is, again, then.

"nasi goreng" - sounds like a Welsh delicacy..?
RubyconMale02007-07-13 11:34:00
United KingdomShipping Companies
Well hello all :)

I'm sure this has been discussed before, elsewhere, but I (and probably other soon-to-be interviewees) would appreciate any thoughts or experiences you might have on shipping personal effects between the UK and US. Which companies would you recommend?

I'm guessing people fall into two camps:

1. You shipped your entire house contents.
2. You sorted and threw away everything that wasn't essential, and shipped just a few boxes as "excess baggage".

I'm going to fall into the latter camp. I've spent months getting rid of loads of stuff on ebay, and I'm only going to ship 'bloke essentials': books, DVDs, CDs, clothes, and a few other items. I'm hoping that its only going to be 3-4 boxes. I need to do this as cheaply as possible. I don't mind waiting a few weeks for my stuff to turn up.

Thoughts please! After browsing some sites, Seven Seas seem to offer the best price for what I'm looking for...
RubyconMale02007-07-16 08:16:00
United KingdomHow did you guys do it?
Everyone here sympathises!

I feel slightly guilty saying this now, but I've just put my finacee back on the plane after she came over to the UK to surprise me for 10 days (thankyou little monkey)! It had been 3 hard months since we'd seen each other (and I know that's small change compared with some people's situations). We had a lovely time, but it never gets any easier doing the Heathrow run...

The only two practical pieces of advice that I can give are: 1. Throw yourself into your job when you find one. My job has been invaluable in keeping my mind off the long periods of seperation. 2. Try as hard as possible to keep some kind of social life - your friends are occupied with their own lives but someone will throw you a lifeline. Also don't feel ashamed of having a social life if your S/O isn't having one, and don't feel jealous if the situation is reversed - you've both got to do what you've got to do to get through this period of time.

Failing that, bourbon has been working out pretty well for me lately! :wacko:
RubyconMale02007-07-27 16:01:00
United KingdomLondon to JFK one way ticket
Yanking this one back to flights for the moment -

Yeah I've done the huge gamble and booked my flights even before I've had my interview (but I just couldn't miss out on the BMI sale to Chicago!).

My gran is flying with me for the wedding and I booked two returns (the one way ticket for me is more expensive than the return!), then I started wondering if it would cause problems when I didn't turn up for the return flight... so for those of you who've just gone "oh yeah, I wonder..." I called BMI and they said as long as I give the Chicago desk a call on the day and say that I'm not flying it won't cause any problems.

Just a little tip to avoid the kind of random panic that I had.. :)
RubyconMale02007-07-31 15:59:00
United Kingdomfinacial sharing
I opened a regular checking account for myself in the US and did not have to supply a social security number. Apparently this is acceptable as the account is non-interest bearing. So I'd guess that its not really due to the Patriot Act, more a tax issue.
RubyconMale02007-08-02 04:41:00
United KingdomDoes anyone give a toss about this year's UK Big Bro?
I'll probably upset some people by saying this but I think Big Brother is an example of the very worst type of television. Put a bunch of past-it, no-name, pseudo-celebrity, circus-freak morons in a house together, film them as they eat, sleep, converse (in the loosest sense of the word) and shag for hours upon hours upon hours on end - and a huge proportion of the British public will sit glued to their screens. The TV company bosses really must be laughing their heads off at us.

In my opinion reality TV - and Big Brother in particular - is among the very worst, degenerative media productions of our society (and a most telling simulacrum).
RubyconMale02007-08-05 15:52:00
United KingdomLetter from Employer
There's always the chance that you may appear on some computer system as you are in the immigration process.. (or is it me that is paranoid?!) Saying that I've travelled to the US on visa waiver with no problems or hassle during my I-129F process.

However, I was advised by an immigration lawyer in the US to carry a copy of my employment contract with me. Obviously it will need to show either that you're on fixed term or permanent contract (thus indicating a strong tie to the UK). Be careful with paperwork though - it is generally a bad idea to be carrying a resume or the like with you, as it can be construed as evidence of intent to stay if they want to screw around with you.

Perhaps if you'd rather not carry your contract around you could say to your employer that you need a letter stating permenancy of employment for a credit agreement or something like that? I've had to ask my employer for financial references before.

To be honest, though, my fiancee has had more hassle from UK immigration than I've ever had from the US chaps, and we usually let pretty much anyone walk in.

Edited by Rubycon, 06 August 2007 - 02:14 PM.

RubyconMale02007-08-06 14:11:00
United KingdomWould you risk it?

So there are flights to LHR at 4pm, 6pm and 9pm. I have him on the 4pm - and although there are often delays at ORD, longhaul flights are usually given priority. Hmmm. I am still undecided. I will think about it over the weekend.

What is the worst that happends - we miss the interview and have to reschedule. Hmmm.


You don't want to miss the interview without informing the consulate - I'm sure they won't take kindly to it! No, really, missing your interview leaves you entirely in their hands as to if - and when - they would re-schedule your interview. I can imagine them claiming some kind of abandonment of the case if you missed the interview (I do not know this for sure - but it doesn't sound outside the realms of visa possibility).

...I can imagine that he doesn't want to leave Arlington Heights in a hurry though!

By the way in my experience any delays on the return leg are not usually at O'Hare, they're coming back into Heathrow - and I've flown BA, AA and United.
RubyconMale02007-08-02 13:44:00
United KingdomWould you risk it?
Hmm.. its possible if ALL modes of transport run to timetable! I assume he's getting into Heathrow? Remember that if the plane lands at 6am you should give yourself anything up to an hour to get through immigration and collect baggage. Add about an hour to get into central London (possibly longer as it will be a weekday rush). So - with a bit of luck - he could be where he needs to be by about 8-8:30am.
RubyconMale02007-08-02 10:03:00
United KingdomWhere in the UK are you or your SO from?
I currently live in Stourbridge in the West Midlands, although I was born and brought up in the Yorkshire Dales. My S/O (Disco) is from Chicago. We're soon going to be living in the northwest burbs in Chicago!





"...I live in Aurora, Illinois, which is a suburb of Chicago... excellent?"
RubyconMale02007-07-27 16:38:00
United KingdomNeed some UK forum love!
Always late to post, but here goes -

I think my angle on this is the stress of having to do the move by myself - my SO is unfailingly supportive, but ultimately its me who's got to ensure that me and my stuff makes it to Chicago!

In some ways I feel very calm about the whole thing - I've been thinking about the move for months now, and I think that preperation has stood me in good stead. I have a sheet of paper on my wall showing the dates that everything has to happen (shippers collecting stuff, etc.). I also have a pile of completed forms to mail on the day I leave (overseas voter registration, HMRC forms, pension forms, Student Loans Company forms, all that sort of stuff).

What's driving me crazy is just waiting for the interview. Whatever the embassy says, it is really difficult not to take any irrevocable steps in advance of being approved. In fact, I don't think there's one irrevocable step I HAVEN'T taken! My job contract has expired, my tenancy on my flat expires at the end of the month, I've closed bank accounts, booked air tickets, trains, the lot.

Stress shows itself in strange ways - this morning I woke up CONVINCED that I'd left a load of washing in the washing machine from two days ago. I toured around the entire boarding house (I work in a boarding school) asking people if they'd seen my clothes. After about half an hour of searching in different rooms I decided to check my flat again. And there they all were, neatly folded and put away in the bedroom!! I belive if you're above 30 thats known as a "senior moment"... :P
RubyconMale02007-08-08 12:18:00
United KingdomInterview tomorrow.....OMG!
As I understand they will take the phone from you before you go into the Embassy (judging from other people's experiences). I plan to take my mobile (sorry darling, if you're reading this...CELL PHONE) on Friday.

Anyhow, wishing you the very best of luck!!
RubyconMale02007-08-08 15:01:00
United KingdomGood Luck Rubicon/Disco & JandC

Thanks every body. Good Luck JandC! Rubycon, you be fine. You have everything!


...will I? Check out TracyUK's posting about birth certificates...
RubyconMale02007-08-09 15:19:00
United KingdomGood Luck Rubicon/Disco & JandC

Thanks for the luck guys!!! I haven't got butterflies.....its more like a swarm of killer bees! :lol:

*sings to herself..... AHHHHHHHHHHHHH FREAK OUT!*

Nah, i've got everything ready and i'm rearing to go!

Good Luck Rubycon!!

:thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs:


And right back at you! :D
RubyconMale02007-08-09 14:10:00
United KingdomGood Luck Rubicon/Disco & JandC
Aww..! Thankyou people! Its really good to know that we're not alone in this. :thumbs:

...anyhow, I think I'm organised - I have photocopies and originals of all the paperwork, train tickets, cash in case the embassy's card machine is broken again...

I'll probably start stressing about something later this evening though. Right, I have to go check the checklist again!! :wacko:
RubyconMale02007-08-09 11:34:00
United KingdomWe are APPROVED

I just looked at the picture of you in the car.....I did see you at the embassy!!


Wierd!! Yeah, I was there early, at about 8:45am. Looking sleepy, probably!
RubyconMale02007-08-10 12:55:00
United KingdomWe are APPROVED

Congrats Rubycon!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was APPROVED too! :joy: :joy: :joy: :joy: :joy: :joy: :joy:


Hooray!! :thumbs: :D

It seems to have been a successful last few days for lots of London people. I hope the trend continues!

I'm so proud of you :thumbs: and I love you. :luv:


Aww.. thankyou! I can't seem to find a sicky smiley though!

Edited by Rubycon, 10 August 2007 - 12:53 PM.

RubyconMale02007-08-10 12:48:00
United KingdomWe are APPROVED
Thanks guys!! :D Your support means a lot to the both of us!!

Really tired as I didn't get ANY sleep last night and I left Stourbridge for London at 4:45am!! So I'll post a full review later this weekend - nothing out of the ordinary, really, though.

Hope things went well for JandC, too.
RubyconMale02007-08-10 12:07:00
United KingdomStudent Loans

Perhaps it is a different student loan that the OP has compared to mine, but I doubt the terms and conditions would be that different...


Perhaps your terms are different if you're from Scotland? I'm not trying to be a joker, its just that higher education arrangements for Scots can be different than from us Englishy types.


Alright - loans from the Student Loans Company:

Okay, for one thing it is you're responsibility in all cases to notify the Student Loans Company of your earnings if you're outside the British tax system, which obviously you are - if you don't you can make yourself liable for a kind of "emergency" repayment amount, which is somewhere in the region of £250 per month. So, if you're planning to get in touch with them you probably need to pretend that you've been living off your husband for the last two years (I presume from your post that you have been employed during this time)!

I think you should normally receive an annual self-assessment form from them. Perhaps it got lost somewhere. Or perhaps the SLC never sent it - they are, after all, renowned for being pretty incompetent. Now, if your earnings fall below the equivalent of £15,000 per year, you're under no obligation to pay back your loan. Of course it still accrues interest (so, effectively, the Labour government introduced a system whereby the lowest earners end up paying back the most - yes, thats right, I'm on to you tossers). You can, however, still make so-called "voluntary payments" if you're earnings fall below the £15,000 threshold.

Keep in mind that if you "disappear" off their radar they can still track down members of your family and demand repayment and other such nasties (although, as far as I know, they have no direct claims on any assets located in the US). So, unfortunately, there's no running away from them. Interest will have certainly been mounting up the last two years. If you're in the position to pay off the loan, then count yourself lucky and do it - then you will never hear anything from them again!

Edited by Rubycon, 09 August 2007 - 02:33 PM.

RubyconMale02007-08-09 14:29:00
United KingdomHow Did You Meet Your USC/UKC?
Wow I'm surprised at the amount of people here who met in pretty unconventional circumstances.

Disco and I met as postgrads at university here in England. She was this crazy artist girl and I was a geeky muso. We were good friends for a few months before we started dating (well, making out while purporting to watch Predator, anyhow). She was cute and exotic!

And that, as they say, was that. As far as I'm concerned we are now the most yukky, horrible, vomit-inducing PDA-prone couple I NEVER wanted to imagine!
RubyconMale02007-07-27 16:18:00
United KingdomKrispy Kreme in UK
There is a Krispy Kreme in Selfridges in the Bullring in Birmingham. I love Krispy Kremes!! They make me go all scooby-snacksy (and not in the way the Bloodhound Gang means). They're light and tasty, nothing like the donuts supermarkets and other places sell. (L) :D

I fact, just writing about them makes me think I might make a special trip to Birmingham on Saturday....

Edited by Rubycon, 15 August 2007 - 11:17 AM.

RubyconMale02007-08-15 11:16:00
United KingdomUS Banks - WTF???

...one of the exam bodies which produces and marks A-level and GSCE exams.


Wierd, I wonder if you marked some of my papers..?

The company I work for has given me a cheque written from an account held right here at the Russell Square Midland Bank!


Yes, this sort of behaviour is bizzare. I've never understood how I can pay in a cheque from an account held at the very same bank and it still take so long to process. I mean, they put it through the whizzy thing right then and there while you're standing at the desk!
RubyconMale02007-08-07 05:26:00