biggish data

Be patient... I guess. I can only talk for myself. But usually when i say "nothing", even though its obvious that something's bothering me, most of the time i say nothing because I'm thinking through it first. Most filipinas say nothing I think because they want to think if what they will say will do good or bad first... We are not used to blurting it out right away... But at least for me, I don't want my husband to just ignore it.... ignore me when i say nothing coz its more annoying. I know it's confusing and crazy, but that's how we are, how we feel and take things. If filipinos to filipinos, they would get it right away that there's something to talk about and saying nothing is just like a reverse psych. So i guess, open up a conversation that will eventually make her feel comfortable to open up to you. At least that's how i imagine it i guess... with me. I know its hard to remain sweet when confused and don't understand it when your partner is "moody", but most of the time Filipinas melt down anyway when their man is still sweet even though having tampo. Or again, at least that's how I want it to be.

QUOTE (Bob 4 Anna @ Apr 21 2009, 04:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (T_and_A @ Apr 21 2009, 04:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

come to think of it... why is it very typical of us Filipinas? I don't remember being reared like that but i guess it's just natural.. maybe because we were used to keeping thoughts to ourselves, lest we hurt other people's feelings? and usually bad to everyone's eyes if you are the offender or if you hurt other people's feelings, even if it was accounted for... hahahah... or maybe we don't want our whims and complaints and genuine feelings used against us when you let it all out in the open? Maybe its a defense mechanism?

Now please tell me what I can say to my wife so she understands this?

It seems her favorite word is "Nothing". I just want her to understand that as much as I enjoy sharing laughter and the good times with her I want to cry with her when she's sad and understand if I say or do somthing that hurts her feelings.

I've even told her tha she's not allowed to say "nothing" to me anymore.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-04-21 17:11:00

lol... dead spot on...

come to think of it... why is it very typical of us Filipinas? I don't remember being reared like that but i guess it's just natural.. maybe because we were used to keeping thoughts to ourselves, lest we hurt other people's feelings? and usually bad to everyone's eyes if you are the offender or if you hurt other people's feelings, even if it was accounted for... hahahah... or maybe we don't want our whims and complaints and genuine feelings used against us when you let it all out in the open? Maybe its a defense mechanism?

I will try to bring out more of my feelings to my husband... not just the mushy good stuff,also the bad. From this forum, I see at least a good perspective... I realize at least i owe that to him, to myself, and to everyone here in VJ.. for giving the time to give a piece of their thoughts.

hmmmm... communication problem is not only with Filipinas... it can happen to anyone...

QUOTE (rlogan @ Apr 21 2009, 03:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (jom @ Apr 21 2009, 04:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If you are mad, say it and don't pretend you are not. That is one of the traits of Pinays that needs to improve, we sulk when we are angry with something instead of saying it straight to the person involved. Not to sound offensive but you also have communication problems since you can't even tell your husband what you really feel. I guess you two have a lot of things to work out with your communication skills and if this bothers you a lot, you might as well improve it starting with yourself .

One thing I learned being married to an american is to not beat around the bush..just say what you feel, and they will appreciate it more.

Goodluck and I hope things will get better.

Wow. Spot on!

Typical scenario: (sees wife is angry and sulking)

"What's wrong honey?"

"nothing"

"So that's why you are angry and sulking - it's what you do when you are happy and cheerful?"

"Nothing wrong."

(guessing game begins)

"Is it this, is it that, is it the other?"

"maybe"

etc. Sheesh. What is the point of keeping your feelings a secret we have to drag out of you?

We are not mind readers. You have to be blunt. "I am upset because you are on your computer looking at pictures of gay animal porn." (or whatever).

Saying so will end it. Being secretly angry and sulking will make him upset - which is unconsciously what is actually going on (I am upset and so I want to make you upset too)

Instead, give him a chance to be a good husband to you by telling him EXACTLY what you are thinking instead of making both of you miserable.

Mutual assured happiness vs Mutual assured misery.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-04-21 16:13:00

Thanks for the comment. I appreciate it. That's why this forum really helps alot.. gets me into perspective and finally i decided to let it all out in the air because i don't have anybody to talk to here.

I completely understand what you were saying about culture differences. I've been warned and warned about that several times by parents and family and I completely accept it. Be it cultural or personal differences may it be, I still couldn't hide the fact that I feel awkward towards his ex-wife. But i just try to deal with it best way I can. I just let him deal with her, as i was saying... im not the one that is in relationship with her ex wife. I do feel sometimes both of them are insensitive. Like when we go out the three of us, im not sure if they are conscious but they would usually have conversations about things they used to do and where they went... and stuff like that. While i on the other hand i just try to ride on... or when i can't take it, i just observe silently. When that happens, i just blame myself for allowing to be in that situation. So that's why for the last month, I finally decided that i can't do it anymore. have stopped entertaining her calls. I've always told my husband he's free to be friends with her but i am hoping that he set boundaries to it. To let her know so she knows what to expect, but i guess he never had the courage to talk to her about it. To give you scenario... this was how it is... her ex wife calls alot.. if not to his celfone to my celfone. When i was first here, she calls even on wee hours of the night. If not, she ims too. she could talk and talk and talk and talk on the phone about what's on tv, hockey is on.. she needs shirt, etc.. sometimes she hints on wanting to spend her off days with us... when my husband would talk to her on the phone, he would just say ok.. ok.. ok... though actually he would like to slam the phone. But still no courage to tell her to stop... and that's what i don't like. But he does nothing about it. And he expects me to understand.

I used to be very secure of myself. When i decided to get married, I only wanted one thing from it - security. More than anything else, i wanted emotional security, the physical things, I can get those for myself. And i told that to my husband.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-04-21 15:20:00

I don't think what I'm feeling, how i'm feeling right now are unfounded. Even if I want to believe and deny that there's no basis for all these, lets just say to stay positive, I just want to let it all out. I just don't want to get to the point that I will be pushed to my limit, coz knowing myself... i know i will not look back.

I appreciate everyone who responds... i like to get everybody's insight on things I may be missing... You know it helps me a lot improve myself.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-04-21 12:30:00

They don't have any kids... nor does he have any kids in the past <at least he said not that he knows of and we both laugh at it> And as far as i know that's one major reason why they divorced in the first place. The baby I'm now carrying is both our firsts. Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything that would put my baby in danger. Sometimes though, I couldn't help getting stressed out and i feel sorry for my baby... I have read about how stress affects the baby... learned when mother is stressed, may release some toxins that are bad for baby... gets scary... so i try to do ways that would make me laugh - most of the time play with my dogs. I am doing my best to make it special everyday... or so i think. I wake up early in the morning to take the dogs out, and then make breakfast and try my best to serve him the food while still warm, waking him up with beakfast in bed and if I haven't ironed his clothes that i also washed on weekends yet, do that too while he's taking shower- - that's everyday. hay naku... kamartiran!! considering that i have never done any of these in the Philippines. My Yayie lives with me, yung nagpalaki sa akin, so I'm kinda pampered. But I have no complaints whatsoever coz I couldn't complain about my decision's consequences to go here and get married. I kinda expected it already and my family also already warned and informed me about it. Yeah, i think i do things a lot for him - all out of love. Sometimes, pagod na pagod na ako, like doing multitasking... you know how we like to do things at the same time, like while waiting for washer, we can do dishwashing, or cleaning up and stuff. Ugh... and picking up his clothes on the floor kahit yung hamper just a few inches away... Geeez.. really unnerves me.. while you do all these things, he's just sitting on his butt and playing on his computer while watching TV... all day! Minsan, natotorete ako... di ko na nga niluluto ng dinner.... and just sulk in again... silence. And he would just say moody daw ako.. di ako pansin kasi hormones na naman daw due to pregnancy.. mas lalo akong napipika. try ko na lang tawanan most of the time.

All my venting now probably is a result of everything left unspoken in the past since i got here. i thought I could dismiss. In truth, I didn't make it a big deal since im new here in US, I was thinking it's still part of the adjusting... and besides i was still observing my then fiance now husband. Since long distance relationship, there's a low chance to really know the person that you love so much. And besides I don't want to be the nagging type. Such a waste of time. So i just try to resolve it first on my end. When i try to talk him to a conversation, he would just sit in silence. would just say... I don't wanna argue with you, though i try to say it in a very gentle calm voice. I feel like I am talking to a wall... that's how it is... so i kinda feel helpless to resolve it.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-04-21 12:13:00

sorry guys... This may be long... its just that this is my only way that i can bring my feelings out... with someone actually listening.. to true genuine feelings. I really need help thru good and sound advice. U need not read the entire thing but just read the last paragraph where I ask my questions and where i need help on... but to understand where im coming from, you can read on. I appreciate all comments in advance.

May 20 - almost midnight...
I was actually awakened by a very bad dream - I felt it was so real, and I woke up to myself. found my husband still awake on the edge of the bed - doing something in his computer. I tried to calm myself down and rolled on the bed... tried hard to go back to sleep. Tried harder - I couldn't. I was feeling so bothered, since pregnant, I've been getting bad heartburn, everyday worse <that's why i always have antacid handy>, so I decided to get up and get a cold water for a drink. Still i couldn't go back to sleep. I wanted it all out. And so I thought about blogging it or post it here in VJ. I decided the latter since I could use a really good advice.

This is actually our 11th monthsary... yay! I am happy. I love my husband a whole lot, I have even convinced myself I love him more than i love myself...yeah. I have done things I have never done and/or never willing to do before when i was single that I am doing right now not because my husband asks of it but because i wanted to make him happy and please him. I guess... just a guess.. this may be where my problem started in the first place...

...back to my dream. I dreamed that I woke up the same night, the same scenario, my husband was there on the edge of the bed, still on his computer. It's 11 pm.. I woke up asking him why he's still awake, what he's doing on his computer that is much important than taking a good night's sleep... no answer. He just sat there and continued with what he was doing... so i got up and tried to peek on his computer. and then he locked it. CTRL ALT DEL. I got so mad. I was so mad, I was crying... and there was a big fight. That's when I woke up..

Reality... Had a usual day... though for me... secretly i was wanting something special to happen, something sweet on this day.. after all, this is our monthsary. He drops me off and picks me up from work but today, he asked me if somehow I could manage to have coworker drop me off at Ross and so he can just pick me up there since his boss is in town and he may not be able to leave work as expected. Fair enough. I managed. I failed my first driving test..and now I only carry a learner's permit. But since my husband is the only one i have here, there's really nobody to rely on. I don't have friends yet that I can consider really friends. I hate being in that situation. Not having friends and not able to drive. Most of it i blame myself especially for failing that drive test <this is actually a different story - funny and disappointing at the same time>. With making friends, I don't think I have problems with people. I actually make friends easily in the Philippines. But here, maybe because my world revolves around my husband like to things together all the time. He drives all the time, whenever, wherever we want to go when we are not working.

Anyway, back to today... on the way home from work, he was really saying he's tired. And I can tell he is tired. I was tired too. From all day's work and having to walk and walk window shopping, while waiting for my husband... to kill the time, carrying my handbag and a big baby in my tummy. We decided to eat out to treat ourselves since its our monthsary anyway and he said he's hungry and Im starting to get hungry too, we couldn't wait long enough to get home and make dinner. And so we did. We did our usual dinner, but as we were eating, there's not much words spoken. I tried to ask him how his day was.. do you love me.. and ask him why his eyes are almost teary and or sparkly.. but not much reply there. I felt disconnected. I have always wanted someone to share how my day was and my partner doing the same thing with me. I have always wanted to make memories, good conversation... just sharing those with someone I thought would be my husband. But i thought i'll just leave it at that... maybe he's just tired.. On the way home, while in the car, still the same thing not much words exchanged. Just sit there in silence... deafening silence. I just tried to close my eyes. And then his phone rang, he answered it - was his ex-wife, as usual. They chatted on the phone for a few minutes. He was giving her advice, where she can go to get some cheap clothes I think (the ex wife left me a message on my celfone earlier that day telling that she needs an oxford shirt, I didn't bother answering anymore. Since about a month ago, I just decided that i don't really want to be friends with her, I tried it but it's so not working for me. I only end up hurting myself more from it.. deep inside. so I just distance myself from that from now on. Try to get myself out of that situation. <this is one major big problem for me too but that's another story I might post here in VJ next time soon since i'm running out of ways to keep it to myself> After he hung up he asked me while trying to rub my hands "are you mad at me for answering the phone?".. I feel at the time, pissed but that scenario is almost always the case...nothing new there, been like that since I got here so i just replied i am not mad at you... there's nothing much I can do about it. And he took his hands away from me and again... the continued silence. I calmed down a bit. I told him "I am not mad at you... It's just that I hate that I'm in this situation. I can't do anything about it. As much as i would like to not want to be in it... that's not really reality... I guess it's just too much to ask not to talk to your ex wife, so sometimes to deal with it I just shut myself down so I don't feel as sad", coz for all the time since I came here, it never really happened even if i do sommersault its really not up to me reality is i have to face and deal with it every day. It's not really up to me. I am not the one in a relationship with his ex wife. and then again...<the one in quote i voiced out, the rest silently in my thoughts> continued silence until we got home. I walked my 2 doggies, that's also most of the time my outlet to my disappointments and frustrations here in US...brings me some joy, always put a smile on my face, makes me forget about it... my two doggies while he... as usual, gets to his computer... doing whatever... he said he's playing his game but i feel like he's doing more. I just tried to watch tv until I fell asleep around 930 pm... with other thoughts running in my head... like what is he doing on his computer? <whenever i would try to peek, he would close the lid of his laptop and lately, he put a password in it so i couldn't get in, i asked why... he said with a loving smile... just to torment you... i just tried to laugh it out, thought it was funny though a part of me is shouting he doesn't trust me>and woke up almost midnight..

Basically, I needed advice on what to do to get my husband to talk to me more... have an open communication with the most important man in my life. We promised each other that even before we got married but i guess it's not happening. I feel like he's so far out there, like climbing a wall just to get to his thoughts...I believe he loves me.. and at first I thought and tried accepting maybe it's just his personality. But I need him to understand that I need that too... I need to connect with him to feel satisfaction out of this marriage. Am i asking too much? OUr communication is so poor. I want to try reaching out more and I just feel like im shut down. with other thoughts running in my head... like what is he doing on his computer? <whenever i would try to peek, he would close the lid of his laptop and lately, he put a password in it so i couldn't get in, i asked why... he said with a loving smile... just to torment you... i just tried to laugh it out, thought it was funny though a part of me is shouting he doesn't trust me.. again.. i just feel shut down and closed from his world. I don't care if he may be watching some nasty things on there... I understand the fact that man will be man... I understand privacy and I respect that a lot. What I don't understand is the way he acts when he tries to close his computer whenever I would want to take a peek. When he wakes up in the morning and looks at it and i come close, and i could almost see his windows, he would ask me to get him coffee or water or anything to get me out of the room and close his windows down... he would only say with a smile... just to torment you...

there.. i think at least i have let go of a third of my worst frustrations in this marriage.... i can go back to sleep now... still have to wake up at 5 to get to daily routine needs in the morning.....

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-04-21 02:02:00

purchasing roundtrip tix online from US for parents in PH

Hello! We are looking into purchasing tickets online for a tourist visa roundtrip for two (lets say expedia or travelocity) but would like to ask what all other fees are included or not included on the purchased ticket? Our concern is we purchase ticket for our parents online so they already have it handy when they leave but what all fees do they need to pay when they get to the airport.

Some here in VJ say that they didn't have to pay travel tax, some said they did. Now from research, most said that if tickets were purchased thru travel agency, they usually include the travel tax (1620), another one mentioned that she purchased tix thru travelocity online and was not asked to pay the 1620 when she went to the airport but the date for that reply was Nov 2008. Is there anybody out there who had a recent experience with travelocity and if they needed to pay the PTA (traveltax) during booking or at the airport?

I also understand that there are terminal fees that needs to be paid upon departure from NAIA. Now my question is since this is a roundtrip, how many times do they have to pay fees since it's roundtrip?

Thanks in advance to everybody...

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-07-28 12:44:00

yeheey my visa approve!!!!!

congrats!!!

happy times!!

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-07-31 07:57:00

straight talk about sex

Tito Jorge... hehehehe...

Seriously, to OP maybe it has deeper reason that you may have to find out (perhaps traumatic experience?) by talking it out with her or whatever good means... I'm sure there's good reason behind it.

maybe, you can try to make love at day time so you dont have to turn the lights off.. don't take me wrong... just a thought.

I agree, it's not a cultural thing... can be personal for your wife.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-07-26 12:58:00

XOOM Users Good News

We just used xoom last night and we saved a lot after using the coupon code. Thanks!!!

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-07-31 05:02:00

Parents received the passport with visa. They were granted 10 year multi-entry tourist visa..
At least now in the next 10 years, if they want to visit US, they can...
I'm just happy and cant complain with that. Thank God!

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-07-31 07:52:00

Collating the supporting documents and all those stuff took longest.. But as soon as you have already paid the application fee from BDO ($131), can call up the PLDT line to schedule appointment

Here is the timeline they had:

May-July - collecting all requirements:
<they had to wait a long time for this because Papa doesn't have passport yet and so to get it he has to have birth certificate, but Papa's birth certificate was lost and the records were destroyed during WW2>, this was the hassle why it took long to get everything going.

July 20 - finally when all the requirements are ready, they went to Legaspi Albay to pay the application fee in BDO. Same day they tried calling the PLDT line, no luck, couldn't get thru; also tried calling using other lines, still no luck
July 21 - still continue trying to call PLDT line, still no luck...
July 22 - went to another town in Tabaco, Albay to try the PLDT office from there, someone answered from the US embassy:
They were asked the questions on the phone.
When is the planned visit (ans: as stated in my application form Aug 1 or as soon as possible)
Why do you want to go to US (daughter and son in law invited us and wanted to take the oppurtunity to visit and travel with my husband since he's also old already and would be nice if they can visit)
Is this coming Friday ok with you?...

...and so they had to leave morning of thursday, arrived in Manila, Thursday night.

July 24 (8 am) - they were asked to go in at 6:30 am for the 8 am interview sched.

Here's what happened: Had to wait for their turn to be called (40th interviewee on window 5 (this is my lucky no))
They were asked for their application forms, and their passports.
the questions asked were:

1. Why do you want to go to US?
2. What work does your daughter do in US? <she works in computers - IT, she's a graduate of computer science>
3. How many children do you have? (5)
4. How many in US and how many in the Philippines? <only one in US though i have a sister there who is already a US citizen>
5. What will make you come back to the Philippines? I only have one daughter in US and a grandson, I have 4 here in US and two grandchildren, there's no way i would exchange US life for my family here in the Philippines. Our trip is simply so we can go see my daughter there and not live there especially illegally.

Same day friday afternoon, they got message from air21 giving the tracking nos for their package.

QUOTE (LÜvtechwifey @ Jul 25 2009, 01:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

May I ask how long did it took for your parents to have their Tourist visas approved?
when did they apply? and how to begin with?

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-07-25 10:10:00

I called my ma to inform them that they may need to go home to province to receive the package from Air21 coz i don't think they will have somebody receive it for them. I guess my mama saw it coming already so she asked the consul about it, in case they may stay here in manila for a few days to look for tickets, and if air21 will let someone receive it for them. Consul said that he will also include authorization letter to have authorized person (my sister)receive the package for them in case they are not available. Only show ID. so that was settled.

Also in addition, they asked the consul if possible to pick up since they may be staying in Manila for a few days anyway, they can just pick it up but CO said that shipping thru air21 is the only option they have going now.

QUOTE (thepizzadude @ Jul 24 2009, 02:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (T_and_A @ Jul 24 2009, 01:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

thank you all...

just update... im surprised how quick US embassy is working now... I talked to my mother their Friday night and she said that they received a message from air21 already that embassy sent them a package.. I am assuming that these are their passports. I am really surprised they shipped it same day the interview was done. It was addressed to the province though and my parents are still even in Manila now.

Question: if the package arrives our address in the province before my parents do, will they allow someone, lets say my siblings, accept the package for them?

Hmmm...good question, they had a place for us to assign someone to get our package when delivered by Air21 but without that paper I don't know but if I was guessing I would say probably not.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-07-25 09:52:00

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-07-24 13:00:00

Yay!! I am so happy... We have been trying to get my parents to come for a visit for a long time now. I was pregnant and just had my baby and wanted to have at least my mama come here when i deliver but it didn't happen. Was kinda lonely just in the hospital alone (this is my first pregnancy) when my husband needs to get something from home and do some errands but had to deal with it. Would be nice to have some moral support. Anyway, my baby is born healthy though he had to be delivered thru CS. Really hard with first time mom, not much help around, you know...

...but last night.. I was so glad, relieved to know that both my parents got their tourist visas approved!!! They called in US embassy last Wednesday to schedule the appointment and they were scheduled for the interview Friday morning. It was sudden and quick, they had to leave morning Thursday, take the 10-11 hr bus ride to Manila and make it to the interview.. Everything went well.

This is the first time my papa will go out of the country... i admit I am really excited for him! They will be here August so I can still spend some time with them while still on maternity leave before I come back to work. We will show them around and have them meet my husband's relatives. I am sure we will have a good time.

I just wanted to share how happy I am... and thankful to God for all the wonderful blessings. Thank you Lord...

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-07-24 12:14:00

Question about the grading system used in Philippine Universities

Yes, i second the motion.

UP : highest grade is 1.0, failing mark is 5.
4.0 is conditional meaning, you have an option to take a removal exam, if you pass it gets converted to 3.0 (you pass, don't have to repeat the subject, if you fail, gets converted to 5.0, you repeat and wait for next year if it's seasonal and a pre-requisite to another subject,lucky if it's offered next semester).

QUOTE (rheanick @ Aug 13 2009, 10:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (DobermanGuy @ Aug 12 2009, 11:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just curious if they use the same 4.0 scale as we do in the USA.

Reading this information below from the University of San Jose - Recoletos, the scoring system seems a LOT different from the way it is done in the USA.

Any advice or information would be greatly appreciated here!

Grading system depends on the school. La Salle highest grade is 4 while University of the Philippines highest grade is 1.

You have to know the particular school.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-08-14 08:41:00

Are Filipinas Vampires?

...and my husband calls me tinted.. LOL...

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-08-16 20:28:00

What does she has to do at the airport?

yes, i agree.. nothing wrong with checking in with the airline as sometimes the gate nos may have changed... it happened to me, so while at the airport, my folks warned me about that too... ALWAYS make sure to check the flight details and the gate no, they have it flashing anywhere in the airport so it's really easy to find, make sure that the gate is correct, if it's not the same as in your boarding pass...

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-08-22 08:27:00

Flying ALone

QUOTE (GD21 @ Aug 22 2009, 10:21 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (T_and_A @ Aug 22 2009, 08:11 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

should have had it corrected, misspelled info on passport, esp state may pose a problem.. That's the reason why i opt to have my visa picked up so i can check for the information if everything is correct... spelling included. Maybe you can still have it corrected in the US embassy and just request for a pick up if you are going to take your CFO in Manila area due to you're leaving pretty soon. Just to be sure you know...

If ever they allow you entry in POE even if its misspelled and definitely not your fault, i think it will still be a hassle when you don't have it corrected because when you get here, there will be adjustment, and all the paperwork, so you don't have to explain over and over again what happened.

Good thing though is that i googled hopkinsville, ny and i don't think there's such a place..

They should be able to change the visa and correct the spelling on it, it was their fault.

Maybe you can call the US embassy and ask how you can go about it and also inform that you will be leaving in Aug.

Good luck.

Wait, I thought you could only ask to pick it up. It said in the guidelines you have a 50/50 chance of being able to pick it up or them delivering it via whatever service they use now, I think Air21. I know that was posted over a year ago. Is picking it up at the embassy an option now??

At the time my visa was approved i requested for CO if possible for me to pick up my visa at the last part of the K1 interview since I was in the manila area anyway and was gonna leave for the province and noone will receive my visa in the apt i live in in manila by the time Delbros delivers it, and he said it was ok... I was able to pick up my visa at the US embassy myself as soon as i received their text message. I don't know if they still allow it now. As far as i heard here in VJ, not anymore.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-08-23 07:12:00

Flying ALone

I also had solo flight for the first time when i went here.. You will be fine. You have to be in the airport at least 2 hours before your flight or you may have to check with your airline requirements, also check the luggage requirements. So you will still have ample time for security, checking in your luggage, paying fees. Bring something that you can read or listen to because there will be some waiting.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-08-22 08:21:00

Flying ALone

should have had it corrected, misspelled info on passport, esp state may pose a problem.. That's the reason why i opt to have my visa picked up so i can check for the information if everything is correct... spelling included. Maybe you can still have it corrected in the US embassy and just request for a pick up if you are going to take your CFO in Manila area due to you're leaving pretty soon. Just to be sure you know...

If ever they allow you entry in POE even if its misspelled and definitely not your fault, i think it will still be a hassle when you don't have it corrected because when you get here, there will be adjustment, and all the paperwork, so you don't have to explain over and over again what happened.

Good thing though is that i googled hopkinsville, ny and i don't think there's such a place..

They should be able to change the visa and correct the spelling on it, it was their fault.

Maybe you can call the US embassy and ask how you can go about it and also inform that you will be leaving in Aug.

Good luck.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-08-22 08:11:00

TOURIST VISA FOR WIFES MOM

QUOTE (Dean iWait @ Aug 28 2009, 01:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Bluerose001 @ Aug 27 2009, 09:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hi,

I had a successful B2 visa interview last year (10 year multiple entry visa). Interview took less than 3 minutes.

You can start by visiting this site, http://manila.usemba...v/wwwh3024.html everything is there.

Goodluck!

Bluerose

Cool. Did they ask for any of the documentation listed in demonstrating ties to the Phils?

my folks were never asked for any documentation during the interview... aside from that my grandma is also coming. They applied last week of June and they were approved right away... grandma applied august and also approved. ALl of them were granted 10 year visa. They are arriving next week woohooo...

QUOTE (T_and_A @ Aug 28 2009, 09:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Dean iWait @ Aug 28 2009, 01:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Bluerose001 @ Aug 27 2009, 09:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Cool. Did they ask for any of the documentation listed in demonstrating ties to the Phils?

my folks were never asked for any documentation during the interview... aside from that my grandma is also coming. They applied last week of July and they were approved right away... grandma applied august and also approved. ALl of them were granted 10 year visa. They are arriving next week woohooo...

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-08-28 09:16:00

XOOM coupon code for the month of August...

TWOF..

Abby and Sheryl shared it on this forum...

http://www.visajourn...howtopic=211812

Haven't tried it but let us know and see how it goes.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-08-08 05:00:00

Cotto v Pacquiao

QUOTE (o0pink0o @ Nov 14 2009, 07:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

http://www.philstreamslive.com/2009/11/watch-manny-pacquiao-vs-miguel-cotto.html

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-11-14 21:07:00

tiis o tikis? hehehehe...

kakatawa tayo... hay naku... tawanan na lang para masaya pa rin.

so far yung asawa ko di na masyado on the phone with x since the incident... at least don't see him talking no more after the incident.. not once. di ko lang alam kung may communication pa rin sila while im not looking... haay keber.. di ko na lang pansin.. para iwas wrinkles.

ambata ko pa para tumanda sa konsumisyon... ...

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-05-29 13:56:00

hahaha... may toyo... kakatawa... pero mejo totoo.... kakaboba din... kaya ako distansya amiga... feeling ko mas madalas mo makakasalamuha mas malaki chance na mahawaan ka... kaya distansya na lang.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-05-27 20:32:00

ako rin di selosa... di rin naman ako talaga insecure.. pero pag ganito ang nangyayari.. ay kakaloka rin.

tngirl, sana kasi makarating ka na dito... pero mas malapit lapit naman... basta contact mo agad ako ha... hihihi..

in all fairness naman, nag-uusap na kami ng asawa ko paunti-unti about it. ano yung gusto ko, siya di masyado nagsasabi kung ano gusto niya. Sabi niya lang mahirap lang din daw sa kanya mag-give up ng friendship na he had for such a long time now. I understand where he's coming from. di naman talaga ako demanding, and nagging.. im really open minded...

just an update... sweet sweetan kami this weekend ng asawa ko... sabi ko nga eh, kung kami kami lang wala naman talaga akong problema. nagtanong pa nga siya sa akin if gusto ko raw pumunta kami sa FL to celebrate our first anniv... ganun... syemps, gusto ko... pero don't know if i can travel pa with this condition na malapit na 8 weeks na lang inaantay namin. dami pang kelangan bilhin for the baby... so baka postponed na muna.

QUOTE (tngirl21809 @ May 26 2009, 07:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (T_and_A @ May 24 2009, 11:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

thanks for all the support.. dito lang naman ako makapagvent lahat..

as much as possible, im the type of person that will try to understand all things... think things thru taking into consideration each other's place... how my husband feels, how the x feels... most of the time what i feel will be the last... kaya nagkandaloko loko na... it came to this point. but im trying to change it now dito sa US. Syemps, since i got here, at first i was just observing everybody and everyone around me. Pag sa Pinas, kabisado mo lahat. My life there is nothing compared to what im going thru here emotionally. Yes, di kami mayaman,pero di naman din mahirap and ive a good job, good education there... ive got a lot going on for me {its something that won't be taken away from me}. There, I have people doing things for me. I don't have to do any house chores and stuff... tapos dito... ganito... but i don't think of that anymore. I stand up with consequences of my decisions and these are all consequences in domino effect. I don't regret anything i've done, i can't do anything about the past, and can only be careful with what i will do in the future..

That's why i reach out to people here in VJ coz sometimes in order to make guided decisions, we need to reflect thru other people's experiences and opinions that will put you in the right perspective. Syemps, better this way... like no biases. Mahirap nga rin kasi wala kang mapag-kuwentuhan sa family mo, coz me i would like to spare them the worry, to avoid complications. Kahit minsan gustong gusto ko nang magkuwento... pero just always ends up here in VJ. Kaya i really thank you all.

Alam ko na sis!!! ask your husband if he is willing to share custody of the dog...
kumbaga.... Mon-Wed sa ex.. tapos Thurs-Sundays sa inyo.
Para share kayo.. tutal mukhang di naman kalayuan ung bahay ni ex kasi gabi na ayaw pa umuwi.

And i know how you feel about not telling ur family here, ganyan din ako. Mahirap na... syempre in the heat of the moment baka kung anu masabi mo tapos forever na silang galit sa hubby mo. Diba? Eh, andito lang naman kami for you. Kung andyan na ko sa US... pwede tayong mag-chikahan! Unfortunately, mahal pa ang long distance for now. Hehe... so dito muna tayo mag-usap.

Same tayo, medyo yan nga kinatatakutan ko rin pag-dating ko dyan... middle class din kmi dito, pero sobrang spoiled ako sa bahay. mahirap din naman kasi may past nga ung tao, minsan di ko naman matangal sa sarili ko na baka i-cocompare nya ko sa mga ibang GFs and Ex nya. Pero I always try to work on my self-esteem and be secured sa relationship namin.

Di naman ako selosa... and I even encourage my asawa to talk to the ex minsan kasi they have kids (both are already adults) pero may grandkids na sila so feeling ko dapat kahit hiwalay na sila try pa rin nila maging civil. PERO kapatid... exaggerated na yang asawa mo ha!!! Kung di mo kaya masabi ng harapan try mo daanin sa sulat? Kasi ganyan kami ng hubby ko... ung di na namin kayang sabihin through phone... emails na lang. Kasi at least sa sulat minsan mas may lakas ka ng loob mg-sabi ng totoong nararamdaman mo. Subukan mo lang.

Oh well, suggestion lang naman. mahirap talaga mag-asawa noh? Kung di mo talaga mahal ung tao... siguro mamamatay kang talaga sa konsumisyon!

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-05-26 17:05:00

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-05-23 22:03:00

kaso nga sis ang hirap kasi si x parang mahina ang utak <pardon my words>... kinda special nga.. if you know what i mean... di makagets. sobrang needy...

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-05-22 15:48:00

salamat sa inyo lahat...

ay naku mga kumare... ako kasi, ayoko na nga ng mga sad thoughts... as much as possible iniiwasan ko na lang yung mga kakalungkot na experience.

ang importante lang na naman sakin now yung asawa ko at yung baby.... syempre yung doggie ko rin, si Frosty. Tinatatagan ko na nga lang, kasi pano naman... mag-isa lang ako dito. minsan lang pakiramdam ko taken for granted ako, and di ko rin maintindihan bakit kelangan ako parati ang magpapasensya.

Yung asawa ko kasi parang mahirap din basahin... pag kausapin mo tahimik lang. yung age gap naming tatlo parang almost 3 generations.. pero pakiramdam ko ako yung tumatanda masyado, lalawakan yung pang-unawa...

haaaay... life.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-05-22 09:05:00

magshashare lang ako ng mga kadramahan sa buhay... recent updates sa buhay US..

kahapon, it was our 1st wedding anniversary... syempre, i was thinking we would spend it in a special way. pero ito ang nangyari...

On the way to work, okray ang lola niyo.. depressed, work, didn't have lunch, work.. work.. went home.. slept on the same clothes i was wearing at the office, still even have my ID on. No dinner either.

konting background... Our doggie died on the day before Mother's day, so about two weeks ago, kinda depress depressan kami lahat, my husband, i and my oldie dog Frosty. Si Frosty yung aso ng asawa ko at nung ex niya. Si x kept on bugging my husband and insisting to go to our place and meet with us. Ayoko na nga ng ganung set up kasi di ako kumportable. IT brings me lotsa negative feelings, selosa na kung selosa, o paranoid na kung paranoid, bottom line, di ako kumportable. Sinabi ko na sa asawa ko my feelings towards it, pero sabi niya friends friends nga daw sila at parati nga siyang tinatawagan at kinukulit nun. Ako naman sinabi ko na i don't want to be friends with her. Anyway, nung friday nga, sabi niya pupunta daw yung x at yung x's bf sa bahay to see frosty daw.. sabi ko.. di ba sinabi ko na ayaw ko sila pumunta dito?.. kung di mo masabi sa kanya, ako magsasabi. this was friday night. May iba pang details as to how the conversation went. Pero yung di ko lang gusto.. sabi ba naman nung asawa ko when i asked if he knows what time they are coming tomorrow: "do you want me to take you somewhere else while they are here?" syempre gulat ako.. a bit hurt but i just tried to be cool. I asked him why do i have to go away from my own home just so you can accommodate them? isn't it a bit too much?... response.. dead air. to make it short, come saturday, i sent a message sa x nga na ayaw ko sila pumunta... na hindi ako kumportable with her friendship and no matter how i try it just doesn't feel right for me. sabi niya, she understands.. and that she blames it on my pregnancy, hormones lang daw. pero namimiss niya daw yung friendship namin?!! exact words in text message: u r the one that insisted on meeting me when i didn't care if our paths ever crossed once some time went by i became comfortable with u as my friend" - this wasn't the case, but i just didn't respond anyway, i told myself i didn't have to explain.

Nung sunday, i noticed Frosty was acting really strange and not his usual self. His tail is between his legs, he's walking strange. Syempre, worried ang lola mo.. Monday, kanda-research ako sa internet kung ano kaya possible reasons behind Frosty acting that way, depressed for loosing another buddy? something medical? and so we both decided to leave work and take our doggie to vet. Dr gave him medication and thank God he's feeling better now. Come Tue, eto na naman... nag-arrange yung asawa ko to have ex para nga daw kay Frosty. and she said that she has treats for frosty and toys for him (take note that frosty stopped playing anymore since his buddy died about 3 years ago and she knows it) Ok fine. After all, i only had Frosty since I got here. Pero as far as im concerned, x didn't want him before kasi either we take him daw o ibibigay niya sa iba then we would loose the ability to see him, or at least at the time my husband, pag iba na yung may-ari, mahirap nang magdemand to see the dog. When i got here kasi nasa HI yung x, nagbabakasyon, then left frosty to my husband to watch over him while she's away but she never took it back. Sabi na lang gift daw niya when we got married, though during that time i didn't want the dog kasi may dog na kami tapos di pa ako sanay to take care of doggies with big doggies, and they usually are very rambunctious and drags me when i take them out, kaya hate ko at first. pero ngayon napamahal na rin sa akin.. ako nagpapakain, nag-aalaga, nagpapaligo.. the stuff.

.. so tuesday, may 19... after work, pagod na pagod nga ako physically kasi lay off yung ibang coworker namin sa company kaya natural, tatambak trabaho considering buntis pa ako and on last trimester kaya mabigat na si baby.. pero don't mind it na lang. the x is already waiting for us in town. Asked her to also have a mexican food to go for us so we can just eat at home. Syemps, wala na akong magawa. After we ate,about 7 pm, watch daw ng movie. by that time, i just wanted to lie down and rest and sleep as my back is killing me.. We were at the basement. But Frosty could go up the stairs but wouldn't/couldn't go down, prolly back problems. So sige, iikot na lang ako around the house to take him back to the basement so he can spend time with x. But now, Frosty goes wherever I go. I went upstairs anywhere so naiwan sila in the basement, watching TV, while i was in the bedroom alone. ganun... ganun ang set up... and so i sent msg to my husband, what time aalis si x, pagkatapos daw ng movie, at the time it was halfway. Ay naloka ang lola mo... so i sent message to my husband na pauwiin na niya tutal gabi na naman... so of course, by this time, so upset na ang lola niyo and okray uli. i also sent message to ex to leave now and i thnk ive been gracious enough to let her see frosty even if i didn't want to... reply: it's your problem, life is too short to be spent on games. etc etc... nung nakauwi na yung x, hayun sobra kandaiyak na talaga ako... madalas naman nagkukuwento ako ng mga nangyayari dun sa gf ng father in law ko... wala naman kasi akong kaibigan pa talaga dito... na talagang kaibigan.. wala ring hingahan. so madalas siya lang yung kausap ko, parang nanay nanayan ko na rin dito.

nakatulog na lang ako sa sobrang iyak and the following day... anniv day namin... yun na nga.. di ko nga feel punta ng work but i thought that would be the best way to just forget about it. the rest of the day nasabi ko na.

today, syemps hurt pa rin ako... di pa rin kami nag-uusap ng asawa ko. I just felt so numb after everything.... wala nang emosyon. on the way to work, while in the car parang sumisinghot singhot yung asawa ko... naku... umiiyak... at this time yun nga void and empty pa rin pakiramdam ko... pero tiklop na rin ako.. and just reached out for his hand and held it. words just unspoken. syemps by this time din, since di ako kumain buong araw previous day, gutom na ako... at gusto ko ngang lumamon.. gusto ko kanin para heavy... yung tipong kaing piyestahan pa... but since it's past 7 in the morning, nag-publix na lang kami. but at least we are talking again... pero di pa rin namin napag-usapan yung events that upset both of us..

now, kahit anu mangyari, that 1st yr anniv was spent like that... ruined.. supposedly a special day. sad nga ako about this.. but i can't do anything about it now.

I was really imagining that we would spend this special day differently than how it happened. ganun... so kayo, what would you have done if you were in that situation?? gusto ko lang magshare to vent it all out.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-05-21 22:03:00

Boracay

We stayed at daves straw hat in... it was very good service and nice experience. A little walk from the beach but was really good.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-12-07 15:43:00

I'm lucky to be alive....

hahaha... this is always a funny story... husband teaching wife to drive...

in our case, we practice... we get home and we were not talking anymore...

I'm hoping to get my drivers license this coming year... I wasn't as prepared when I first took my first road test though the written test I aced out. It was actually a series of unfortunate events on that day, possibly cues on me not to take it that day. We were late on our appointment. My husband had to work and his ex wife had to drive me to there. Customer service in DMV didn't know what to do with my case.. My instinct told me not to do it, and i didn't listen. By the time it was my turn, i was already too psyched out... and it reflected. hahahaha...

Anyhooooo... I feel my husband is still nervous when i drive...

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2009-12-30 12:24:00

help adjustment of status for 10 years GC..

dang! really? then i need to file also! but from what i understand the IO told me to file for 10 yr GC 90 days before the 2nd yr anniversary of my arrival here not my wedding anniv

From what i understand, you have to file within 90 days before the expiration date on your permanent residence card (green card)...

DianneWalgreens, I was looking at your time line and you received your green card 6/29/2009. My 2 yr conditional GC expires 11/18, 2010 since i got it Nov 18, 2008... then that means i will have to file my GC from between aug 21-nov 18, 2010. But I will probably send out my packet aug 25 this year to be sure.

If you both got your greencard second quarter and onwards of 2009, you probably have to remove conditions in 2011....

Am i right?

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2010-01-07 09:07:00

Mom needs to go with me in my interview?

HMmmmmm.... This may actually be something new.... it wasn't like this when we applied 2 yrs ago.

Guys, read the top of this link. What do you think?

http://manila.usemba...v/wwwhniv1.html

I've never heard this from ANYONE before and it's caught us totally off guard.

Nonimmigrant Visa Application Procedures

If you intend to apply for a nonimmigrant visa to the United States, we encourage you to first visit our About Nonimmigrant Visas page.

ALL APPLICANTS, REGARDLESS OF AGE (excluding those applying for diplomatic visas), ARE REQUIRED TO APPEAR AT THE EMBASSY FOR AN INTERVIEW.

Minor (unmarried 20 years old and below) nonimmigrant visa applicants are required to appear with at least one parent for the interview. If the minor is an orphan or if both parents are outside of the Philippines, then a legal guardian must be present during the interview.

....

HMmmmmm.... This may actually be something new.... it wasn't like this when we applied 2 yrs ago.

Edited by T_and_A, 15 January 2010 - 06:51 PM.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2010-01-15 18:50:00

Help! I need a step-by-step guide on filing AOS (k1)

Yes, file AOS yourselves and save lotsa moooolahh... Also this way, you can check, doublecheck all your paperwork, correct mistakes before submitting and know the ins and outs of all the documents submitted. If careful, you can avoid RFEs.

If unsure of anything, or confused with something, don't forget to consult VJ peeps... alot here have gone through same process, different experiences/circumstances, good and bad who can give you really good advice and point you to the right direction..

Best wishes and congrats...

thank you all for the input. your help is greatly appreciated.

-kristine

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2010-01-15 18:59:00

Report of Marriage question

how much is the fee for late filing for ROM?

Yes, you should file for ROM within a year or there will be a penalty. I did file my ROM last november through mail. I sent it to San Francisco Consulate and took me 10 working days to get my passport back. Just follow the requirements on their website.

You have to be file it in person fo passport renewal though.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2010-02-16 18:44:00

NO CLUE WHATS GOING ON!

Naku... parang ganito rin yung case ko... except yung sa akin yung third party yung ex wife... dun din sa first few months ako i have doubts.. Kaka-low talaga ng morale if you were in the situation.. minsan may feeling na parang ikaw pa yung third party... madalas nga noon, lumalabas pa kaming tatlo, sobrang OP ako... they talk about used-to-do in the past or did-you-remember game... ayyy kakaloka.. ako rin, iyak nang iyak nung una... but i got over it (syanga kaya?)... I can't do anything about the ex's moves nor my husband's.. I can only control what i can do. I know mahirap... but i just took my husband's word for it, basta sa akin siya umuuwi, sa akin siya sumusunod, tapos ang kuwento.. buti tumino nang kaunti yung asawa ko.. I know until now, may communication pa rin sila... text msg, facebook... instant msgr.. ayyy keber..... basta pag kelangan ko asawa ko dapat andyan sya kundi warlock itu!!!buti di pa naman umabot sa ganun... rerebenta ang ulo ko... good luck sa asawa ko pag ganun nga.

basta girl, yung sakin, tatagan mo loob mo... been there sa situation mo... it's a matter of battling with yourself din... your self-esteem is really at stake, basta kahit anong mangyari don't give up your self-esteem.. Naku ha... bata pa tayo, lahat ng positive thoughts, gawin mo, isipin mo... divert yourself for the better... isipin mo na lang... di mauubusan ng ####### sa mundo! :jest:

(ayy.. pardon my word).. smile ka lang parati... things will turn around.

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2010-01-04 18:25:00

What makes you say, "I am happy to have him in my life."

HE makes my day special...

T_and_A

Not Telling

Philippines

2010-03-25 07:51:00