ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
ChinaGifts to the bride's family
Shooter I would be banned for putting everyone to sleep.
Have no way in short form to explain this story. Nothing
is normal (to use that word) about how we meet or
anything else. You remember when you were young
older folks would say things you knew didn't happen,
or didn't belive at the time?

Sounds funny i'm sure but my Grandma told me one day
maybe you will be one of the lucky ones and find your
meant to be. Yeh ok your crazy. 45 years latter for some
not meant to be reason I (we) meet. After doing my best
to aviod this woman, emails, phone calls, everynight on
yahoo she would be there 12am. Sweety, Little White guy
are you there? I will wait for you ok?

She never stopped no matter what I did. So talked with her.
She told me many things one of them was this.
In her chinglish way she told me what her Mom said and
that she belived in it, do you belive in meant to be?

Next thing I knew I was head over heals. Maybe one month
after this woman told me she was coming here to marry.
And she did!! Still not sure how she did it being a never
married woman middleaged same as me. I picked her
butt up at the airport and it was like we have always known
each other. Her and here family had brought me gifts.

She even brought things for our home, table runner for
the kicthen table, nick knacks, even some clothes for
me to wear. She brought the love of not only her but
her family also. Anyway two days latter all my family
went with us to the county courthouse and we got married.

The worst day of both of our lives was when she had to
go home. At the airport there was a (young hug couple).
Wife called them, we both just sat there and did the same.
Couldn't stop the hugs and tears. Never known what lost
realy meant until that day. I mean completly lost.
Am middle aged, seen a lot, been through two lifetimes
but that feeling I have never had to live in that way.

Sorry did turn out to long, can't help it. Not even started
yet in truth. Its close to 4 years now, two since my sweet
woman has been living here. Many trips to China being with
my family there. I guess Grandma was right. As dumb as
most would say it is. For us thats the only way we know
to call it. Have no other way to say.

QUOTE (justashooter @ Apr 22 2009, 07:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
a good chinese woman is well worth any bride price, no matter what words are used to arrange.
the best words to get one with are huayinchaoyu.
the best huayinchaoyu is the kind you really mean.
it's a lucky man that find he can tell his wife huayinchaoyu and it's the truth.

tell us the story.

QUOTE (ididntdoit @ Apr 21 2009, 06:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Dont talk that way shooter, have read many of your posts.
Easy to see your a good man. You have lived there so you
know the word (vary) has more meanings than anyother
country. I didnt find my wife the way 99% of us do.
Thats a very long story.

Sure her family matters but you have a good woman beside.
Thats what realy matters right?

QUOTE (justashooter @ Apr 20 2009, 03:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (ididntdoit @ Apr 20 2009, 09:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
There is also the gift of a good man for a never married daughter.


you have a special family in China. yours is beter than mine, and I thought I had it good.




ididntdoitNot TellingChina2009-04-24 09:34:00
ChinaGifts to the bride's family
Dont talk that way shooter, have read many of your posts.
Easy to see your a good man. You have lived there so you
know the word (vary) has more meanings than anyother
country. I didnt find my wife the way 99% of us do.
Thats a very long story.

Sure her family matters but you have a good woman beside.
Thats what realy matters right?

QUOTE (justashooter @ Apr 20 2009, 03:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (ididntdoit @ Apr 20 2009, 09:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
There is also the gift of a good man for a never married daughter.


you have a special family in China. yours is beter than mine, and I thought I had it good.


ididntdoitNot TellingChina2009-04-21 17:47:00
ChinaGifts to the bride's family
QUOTE (pushbrk @ Apr 16 2009, 02:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (justashooter @ Apr 16 2009, 06:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
China is a big country, so no single rule covers all circumstances.

I lived in China for 4 years and married a girl from a city that has few foreign residents. Gaining the trust of the family was a lengthy process, but worth every moment of effort. After Li moved in with me her sister had a fit and wouldn't talk with her for months, but she was the "first point of contact", so getting on well with her was important. I bribed my way in with gifts for her child. Things from America that can't be bought in China.

The sister opened the door to the rest of the family, with minor gifts greasing the skids all the way. Zippo lighters and imported alcohol for the men, American chocolate and cosmetics for the women, picture books of American scenery, anything they couldn't get in China, or that wasn't made in China. Leather purses from Mexico were a big hit with the MIL.

The bride money issue was tied to the financial security of the MIL. Most Chinese families don't have retirement plans, health insurance, medicaid/medicare, social security, etc. Retirement begins at 58 or so, and Chinese husbands are not always prone to spend a lot of money on their "yellow faced wife", when the 25 year old mistress has needs. It sounds cruel, but that's the way it is for successful Chinese businessmen in Henan province.

We made a payment of about 20,000 yuan to the MIL, with the understanding that her oldest daughter would be moving to America and making better money than she could in China, so would be in a better position to take care of the MIL. My wife was already making 60K Rmb a year as a contract translator, so things could only go up, right? Since finding a job here my wife is putting $500 (3200Rmb) a month into an account her mother and sister can access in China.

Wife now has her house in the country, luxury car, bank account, credit card, easy job, d cups, and everything else a Chinese girl could want. MIL has a steady cash flow, which is all she really wanted. I got a sincere wife who also happens to be smoking hot. Everybody is happy.


You bet it varies. My MIL is deceased and FIL has a hefty lifetime pension and full medical as a retired Major General. The value of gifts we receive tends to be higher than the ones we give and no money changed hands between FIL and I before the marriage. We did give a one-time cash gift of respect ($500) about three years later but it was only very reluctantly accepted as Baba needs no money.


There is also the gift of a good man for a never married daughter. My FIL was retired airforce
from ww2. He had no big pension and live in a very old apartment in Xian. Him and Mom lived
a very simple life. They got by but thats all. One visit to GZ wife surprises me saying we are
going to Bejing this trip.

When we left Bejing she didnt say we were not going home. Big surprise when we landed
in Xian. Her brother and nephew picked us up so my thoughts were ok, i have no gifts.
Wife smiles and says its ok. We walked up the stairs to what I thought was Lei's home.

The door opened and there was Mom, was worried to death, had no idea what to
do. It took about 2 minutes looking at everyones smiling faces, mom taking my
arm, sit, sit she said and started feeding me watermelon to know I was home.
The home looked like a 5 star resturant, never seen so much food. We sit at the
table and cant even use my own chopsticks everyone was feeding me!!

So yes it does vary. I was adopted by this family before I ever meet them.
They would not let me spend a dime even though I tried many, many times.
Could not understand hardly a word said but didn't need to. I knew I was home.

Just the opposite of giving gifts in our case, I was given the greatest gift of all.

Edited by ididntdoit, 20 April 2009 - 08:41 AM.

ididntdoitNot TellingChina2009-04-20 08:37:00
Chinareception for US citizens at Guangzhou
Just don't expect any info about your case. mad.gif


QUOTE (Gamal @ Apr 24 2009, 08:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I was told this was May 8th at 2pm. Has anyone heard of this? I guess its for US citizens to ask questions to the VOs. If anyone has any information about this can you direct me to a link? Thanks, Good luck to all. I think bringing a wife to America is helping the over populatioin of China haha.


ididntdoitNot TellingChina2009-04-27 14:11:00
ChinaDouble Happiness Cigarettes
QUOTE (justashooter @ May 6 2009, 10:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Gamal @ May 4 2009, 10:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (justashooter @ May 4 2009, 01:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
pretty harsh, but reasonably popular.

try the baisha for a similar taste.


cigarettes suck, i love it when my food taste like cigarretes in a chinese restaraunt...


you'd never make it in china, buddy. most of teh men smoke there, in the home, restaraunt, office, bus, taxi, factory, school, just about everywhere. it's one of the nicest thigns about living in china, right after the hot women.



good.gif Now where did I put my pack of baisha

Edited by ididntdoit, 06 May 2009 - 12:43 PM.

ididntdoitNot TellingChina2009-05-06 12:40:00
ChinaDouble Happiness Cigarettes
QUOTE (Gamal @ May 4 2009, 10:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (justashooter @ May 4 2009, 01:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
pretty harsh, but reasonably popular.

try the baisha for a similar taste.


cigarettes suck, i love it when my food taste like cigarretes in a chinese restaraunt...


I guess we need to ask just what was your reason for asking?
Since the subject took a 180 it seems your comment means
a real chinese resturant, one thats in China?

Other states here (USA) not sure about but there are no
so called chinese resturants in this state allows you to
light up your smoke. So if your asking for a gift to a smoker
be they chinese, american, chinese americans, american
chinese living in the states or the PRC. What changed?

We gave you the correct advice. Another topic would
be needed for opinions since it is no longer what smokes
to give for a gift.

Edited by ididntdoit, 05 May 2009 - 12:23 PM.

ididntdoitNot TellingChina2009-05-05 12:20:00
ChinaDouble Happiness Cigarettes
QUOTE (usagroom @ May 3 2009, 02:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>


I tried that brand in china.
Never ordered on line but
that don't sound to pricey.
Sorry not much help.

What I smoke here is almost 40 bucks
a carton so sounds good.

ididntdoitNot TellingChina2009-05-04 12:45:00
ChinaInterview question
QUOTE (Gamal @ Apr 28 2009, 11:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (HelloWorld08 @ Apr 28 2009, 01:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
you will need to bring every in the packet 4, packet contains medical forms and other biographic forms. go here to have a look

http://guangzhou.use...and_packets.htm


Thanks for all your help, sorry I didnt build a timeline. I did and when it posted it was all in the wrong slots. Our interview is May 13. Good luck to you!


Am sure you know but very important, sometimes more
than paperwork is how much she knows everything about
you. It could be things you never thought you would need.

To put it short it could be your parents name, your kids
names (if any) right down to whats your favorite food.
My wifes interview was one part paper and three parts
her and me. This guy even asked her what my address
is here in the states. She knew it, the guy was shocked.

Don't know how others go but thats how hers went.
Didn't even open the suitcase of pics and papers.
Only wanted to know about how well she knew me.

Edited by ididntdoit, 04 May 2009 - 12:39 PM.

ididntdoitNot TellingChina2009-05-04 12:36:00
ChinaPre Interview experience
QUOTE (Gamal @ May 11 2009, 09:31 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hello everyone. I thought I would share my experience thus far in Guangzhou. Today I attended ACH at the embassy. It was a good experience and helpful communicating with other petitioners. I am staying at the Tianyu Garden apartments about a minute away from the embassy and it is owned by Mr Yang and his wife. He is extremely helpful and has helped us through this final process in Guangzhou looking over all our forms, ect. I would suggest anyone to go to the ACH because they document that visit and you can get good answers to any questions you may have. My fiancees interview is the 13th, take care all and good luck~



I would suggest anyone to go to the ACH because they document that visit and you can get good answers to any questions you may have.

Again as said posted to your question on this subject before.
No you will not get answers to your case. Document sure but
again will not furthur your case. It is a FAQ only. If you want
advice from grown men who have done and seen it all as far
as china goes. Visit candleforlove. Not a good idea for new
china members here to assume a FAQ is real when its not.

Its a visit and no more than that. IKEA near GZ consulate
would be the better pick of the two. New readers here to this
mess dont need to be lead more astray than they already are.
That includes gifts then a 180 change of subject to an opinion.
Some have much more to learn about Chinese culture then they know.

Its a nice island if one wants to visit. They do need to know, no it
will not help your case. Sorry but newbies do need facts.

Edited by ididntdoit, 11 May 2009 - 12:38 PM.

ididntdoitNot TellingChina2009-05-11 12:37:00
ChinaHappy ever after?
QUOTE (Azzudiin @ Jun 8 2009, 03:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am sure everyone had their times of doubt as they went through the VISA process, people have doubt for regular weddings in one country. Lately it seems all the stories I am seeing are bad ones about people asking divorce questions and others returning to home countries etc.

I want to hear happy endings, people that went through process and now 3 or 4 or 5 years later are still happy and think it was best decision of their lifes.

I am sure in my decision but positive stories would be nice to see, instead of all the negative ones popping up on board.


It's true no one seems to post the good times, only the bad. Something you can see
quickly is many people not knowing all they should know about themselves, the man
or woman they find on the www. Sure the immagration process is hell but what one
didnt think about or in many cases just didnt even seem to care to know bites them
in the butt when it's paperwork time.

I'm sure many here will call me a not-knowing-what-am-saying-jerk. Either way it's
the truth. Thats where all the sad stories come from. All anyone has to do is take the
time to know her or him as well as yourself. Say what you will it is not hard to do.
You both just need to take the time to do so. If you don't then I guess might be problems.

My wife and I took the time to know each other in everyway as far as we could in emails
and messengers. Our story is nothing like most people. I meet her from a joke add I put
on matchdoctor, it was free then. Real bored one night so I made an add asking how to
cook a pot roast. Some chinese lady about two weeks later answered it. She said I can't
cook but I would like to be your guide in China if you wanted to come here. She didnt stop
writting even though I wouldnt reply. Maybe about two months later decided to give this
woman my email and yahoo messinger.

I still didnt even care to be honest. I made a mistake and gave her my phone number also.
Every night since that day she would sit on yahoo asking "little white guy" are you here?
Sweety were are you?? I call you but your son say you not home? Why you no talk me,
dont understand. Seven days a week at midnight here she would sit and wait trying to
talk to me and I would not. This woman would not give up. My son after many im's and
phone calls with him started to make me think I should talk with her. What got me was
this 17 year old boy saying "dad whats wrong with you". She is the one for you. I don't
know why but I know she loves you and I love her.

So many times I did all I could to push this woman away. Over a year I did my best
to do so. She would not give up. One day she told me after I gave in she was coming
to the US with her company and had already got her plane ticket to were I live. I still
dont know how a never married chinese woman in her 40's did it but she did. She
wouldnt say anything but what time to pick her up at RDU and "I want to be married
to you soon as I get there". Thats the day I found out maybe some things are meant
to be. Never belived in that until 10pm at rdu. My dad went with me to pick her up.
Truth is we both knew she wouldnt be there, but we went anyway. We sat there
looking at the stairs wondering how much longer we would wait when this chinese
lady walked down them. Dad looked up and said "look,look, thats her". I said no
its not it's about time to go home.

Guess what it was her. I have no way to put in words the emotions that came
over me or her. I have never felt this before, I could see she lost it, so did I.
You would think a first face to face would be strange. Kinda like a get to know
all over again. It was nothing like that. We knew all there was to know. She took
over our little family the next morning. It was like she has always been here.
She was at that moment my wife, my best friend, and the most important part
of our family. The next day we went to our local county courthouse with her
family and we were married.

I could write a book on our life since then, our family in china who took me
in only because I love their little girl and they ask for nothing more. Our family
here who look to her. It's been over four years since I meet her. We are still in
immagration hell but it don't matter. If there is a heaven I am living it. She has
always been my life. It just took a little while to find her. Even though I won't
looking. Long sure, not said right sure. Have no other way to say it.

ididntdoitNot TellingChina2009-06-09 15:15:00
ChinaACH Session ?
QUOTE (silverfox5859 @ Jul 31 2009, 05:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Can anyone tell me what people are talking about going to a ACH Session?


Its a general #######-for-tat silver..Not a place for details about your case.
Mostly thats all. Kinda like a phone call to uscis in person. You can
push your case but might not get any results..Been there more than
once, our home is in GZ..Check out IKEA next door.
I gave up waiting in the building blink.gif

Oh..Boss man from Ukraine is it??
When did anything Chinese become your concern wacko.gif
Strange one you are

Edited by ididntdoit, 01 August 2009 - 04:44 PM.

ididntdoitNot TellingChina2009-08-01 16:42:00
ChinaACH Session ?
QUOTE (payxibka @ Jul 31 2009, 11:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (silverfox5859 @ Jul 31 2009, 07:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (payxibka @ Jul 31 2009, 07:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (silverfox5859 @ Jul 31 2009, 05:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Can anyone tell me what some people are talking about -going to a ACH Session. Is it something I need to look into?


this is a consulate issue and not really general discussion regarding a K-1... these are best posted in the consulate or the regional forum when

moving to the regional forum

take a break, i'll ask any question I feel I need help with.


do whatever you want but all I ask is to pay attention and ask it in the right forum... otherwise I will move it...



Its a chinese forum. Sorry but you or your better half dont look to be from china.
Are you looking to move questions within the forum you fit in, or just china?
Where else would the man ask? Lets see, wifes from China, there is a forum for
China within the website..Seems he would first ask in the Chinese Forum, not the
general population..ACH in China (IS) a general discussion regarding any K visa.
Thats all you will find out, general info..Seems you need to delete or (otherwise)
move the China forum..Your way out of line..
ididntdoitNot TellingChina2009-08-01 16:21:00
ChinaWho's going to China this June/July/August?
QUOTE (Dan & Juan @ May 24 2009, 11:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm not sure what a good price is I needed to get to China with only a couple days planning due to illness i went on flychina.com and just picked whatever they threw up there which seemed crazy now that I flew it Columbus - New York - Los Angeles - Beijing - Guiyang and return Guiyang - Beijing - New York - Columbus for 1398 all included.


It does seem like flychina has the best price for us eastcoasters.
Six trips since 2005, never paid over 1K. Your right about taxes
and fees with them, it's included. That under 1K was to GZ also
not HK. We made 3 trips to HK from NC paid the same but still
had the mess on the border to deal with then the train trip.
It was nice but once was enough.

Edited by ididntdoit, 24 May 2009 - 12:07 PM.

ididntdoitNot TellingChina2009-05-24 12:03:00
ChinaWho's going to China this June/July/August?
QUOTE (usagroom @ May 16 2009, 02:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What are the airline prices looking like?
What are the best routes?
Have the Visa things changed from last year?
Which month is the best to go?

Where are you going and any other details?

I am thinking to travel in July/August for a month. Last April I got a RT Delta ticket from Atlanta to Shanghai for $700. Then I flew China Eastern to my fiancee's city for $100. I'll have to renew my Visa this year.


Flychina has a mid july to mid august for $994, 2 stops tax and fees included.
Not seen anything cheaper yet.

ididntdoitNot TellingChina2009-05-17 12:21:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & Proceduresuscis send to me Form AR-11
QUOTE (younes @ Aug 1 2009, 04:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (CAV & LEES @ Aug 1 2009, 09:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (younes @ Aug 1 2009, 01:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi VJ'ers,

i am U.S. citizen .
... USCIS send to me Form AR-11 .i think it is for my husband but my husband is not in the usa yet.. he is still in morocco and i do not understand why i have to do this AR-11 . headbonk.gif



The AR-11 is a change of address form! Did either of you request it? If you did just to let you know, it can be filled out online.



yes i know that but my husband is not here in the usa yet so why should i be doing this right know dose he have to be here to fill it out or just doing because i have moved.. i real do do not understand


Did you change your address in anyway? The form is for you the petitioner.
If you didnt request a change in address you need to call uscis to find out why
they sent you this form. You realy do need to call them to know the reason why.
It could be a problem on their end.

I think you have your own answer though........
"or just doing because i have moved".
You had to have called them or something
and told them your moving or have moved..
Call them to fix this.................................

Edited by ididntdoit, 01 August 2009 - 03:57 PM.

ididntdoitNot TellingChina2009-08-01 15:53:00