ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Middle East and North AfricaFamily Death Overseas
Thanks for all the thoughtful posts. As most of you have said, I have just been trying to give him his space, and be a good listener. Today was really hard, cause they are doing a Funeral for his father, and he can't attend... and nobody has contacted him today. I am sure they are very busy, and he knows this too.

WOM- Your idea of the flowers, candle, Qur'an verse, and pictures was very nice. Maybe I can try to work something out like this tonight!

I am sorry for the losses with in your families that have led you to have these experiences, and thank you for sharing about them.

-Danni
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2012-01-03 21:49:00
Middle East and North AfricaFamily Death Overseas
Hello Everyone,

I come with some sad news tonight. My husbands father passed away yesterday. He won't be able to attend the funeral, or even visit his family until this summer. Can anyone tell me how they have helped their spouse deal with a similar situation. He had such a horrible day today, and I am just not sure how to help him. In a normal situation, we would be with his family, and attend the funeral. I can only imagine how alone he feels. I never had the chance to meet his father in person, so I am grieving for his loss... but not like someone who had a close relationship with him. Hamza told me that after a death many people will come and stay for long hours with the surviving family at their home. I asked Hamza if he wanted to have some of our family and friends in the USA come, and he would rather mourn alone. Im sure it would not be the same, as none of them would have known his father. Anyway, any suggestions on how to help someone deal with a death, from thousands of miles away would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance
Danni
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2012-01-03 04:50:00
Middle East and North AfricaRiads in Casablanca

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (6/115):

We must highlight this point, that going along with customs so long as they are not haraam is the Sunnah, because going against customs is a kind of vanity, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade the dress of fame and vanity, so that which goes against customs is also forbidden. End quote.

Hence we advise you to hold a wedding celebration and we ask Allaah to bless it. You should do it in accordance with the custom and tradition of people in your country, and you should not try to cast off all of their customs. All that you have to do is reject and avoid those customs that are haraam, such as using music – apart from the daff – and mixing between men and women


In your reply to my post you spoke of only promiscuity, chaste women, virgins. I find it a little off-putting that I was speaking to the fact that a woman's role in a marriage is much more then cleaning, and child rearing... and the first thing that you speak of next is sex related. I think this shows your value of women. Do you value women only on their sexual status, cleaning ability, and child rearing skills?

Every great leader in this world has had a good woman standing beside them. Notice I said beside them, and not behind them. Every great Male leader, and smart male in this world will tell you that their greatest supporter, ally, confidant, strength is their wife.

As for the promiscuity of any women, it is no ones place to discuss but their own. No ones place to pass judgement. Christians have a saying about this. "Let he who has no sin, be the first to cast a stone" This saying actually comes from the Bible. From a prophet I believe you are familiar with ...Jesus. John 7:53 - John 8:11. Its actually speaking about an "adulterous" woman.

I know you don't follow the bible, but I am quoting it anyway... because in your replies to me you quoted the Qur'an which i do not follow either. However you do believe Jesus to be a prophet, and I believe these are his words.

As for not listening to music or dancing... My husband has told me a story that was passed down to him about a festival that came to town in the prophets time. His wives asked him to go there, and so they all went together to here the music, and dance. He said that people gathered on the street to hear the music men and women. If this is true, then why is music now forbidden? I understand that in Muslim marriages, and weddings, that men and women are generally separated. This is the religion, and culture of Muslims in MENA, and no one can say its wrong, because this is their lives, and choices.

However if you are moving to a country with a different culture then your own , then you should be prepared to live in the culture you are moving to. You will be hard pressed to find a job, entertainment, restaurant, family activities, weddings, theater, where there is no music, or co-mingling. You might as well be a hermit. This is how it is.

-Danni
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2012-01-12 02:15:00
Middle East and North AfricaRiads in Casablanca

Salaam

However,it is advised NOT to marry a non-Muslim woman, nor is it NOT advised you to marry just any Muslim woman. For married life is not based only on beauty and attraction,or culture and race, rather the wise Muslim must look with insight at what is beyond that, because he needs to be sure that his house will be looked after in his absence, and he needs to bring up his children, and he will not be able to find that or other things which every wise husband seeks, except with a religious Muslim woman. This is the advice of our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ?A woman may be married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper].?

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466).



Could you clarify. Are you saying the only reason a Muslim male would marry outside of his faith is beauty, and attraction ? Muslim men are shallow? Also please clarify... Religious Muslim women are the only women who can clean a house, and take care of children ? This is a nice sentiment towards the religion of Islam, and I am sure its just to promote interfaith marriage. However it is permissible for Muslim men to marry out of their faith. Certainly any male immigrating to America, not only Muslims males will have a much less narrow view of marriage. I say this because, their female petitioner will have to be some kind of career women in order to afford the cost of immigrating a spouse, and for sponsoring their spouse. So the marriage will have to be based on something more then a female to keep look after their home in their absence. As the female will most likely be the bread winner in the household till the time the beneficiary male is able to work.

By the way this post is meant no offense to the Islamic Prophet, in my view he was a great person. He brought many great wisdom's to the people of this world. One of those things was to cherish women...be they wives, daughters, sisters or mothers. Isn't it true that Khad?ja, his first wife was more then just a women to clean his house in his absence. She was also his business partner, his companion, his supporter when no one else was. I read that the prophet went to his wives for advice even on the smallest of matters. So i am sure the Prophet of Islam sees more to a women's role in a marriage then cleaning, and child rearing. Which any women could do, not only a Muslim women. My husband often time tells me about how the prophet of Islam helped his wives to clean, and in their chores....so in an Islamic prospective, i think there is nothing wrong with a women who is not the sole care taker of the home. Also any male coming to America must understand, that in this economy chances are high both people in the marriage will need to work. This leaves the children to either be in daycare, or go to a relative. The families i know generally cannot afford for one person to stay home, and not work.

So any male, Muslim or not... must be aware of this, as his future spouse may not be able to " bring up their kids" without some assistance,in the form of daycare. Muslim women in America and around the world work, and use daycare. Especially if she is petitioning a male immigrant spouse, as it is very hard for immigrants of any country to find a "Good" job here in America right away. Marriage in my perspective should be based off way more then whether a women can clean, and stay home with children. Marriage is a partnership, with many dynamics...What you described is a housekeeper/Nanny. It does not take a Religious Muslim women to be either of these things. If I were a Muslim women, I would be offended at the very simplistic view of what you have made their marriages out to be. Even if a women is a stay at home mom, and she is able to take care of the home, and raise the children without assistance...I would hope the marriage is based off more then her ability to do these things.

I apologize for the rant,but your post was insulting to me as a non Muslim women, married to a Muslim male. I am also insulted on behalf of my Husband, because as a Muslim Male he would never be so shallow as to base marriage off these two simple things you have mentioned.

To the original OP, I hope that you are able to work out appropriate accommodations for yourself, and your fiance. Sorry for the hijacking!

-Danni :)

Edited by Danni and Hamza, 11 January 2012 - 11:56 AM.

Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2012-01-11 11:50:00
Middle East and North AfricaTragedy for our own (Kokylolo) Christina Wassef
What an awful tragedy. Our thoughts and prayers are with this family. I pray god will ease their pain and make life bearable thru this very sad time.

Edited by Danni and Hamza, 09 March 2012 - 09:10 PM.

Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2012-03-09 21:09:00
Middle East and North AfricaHas marriage & life been what you expected?
I am really glad to hear all these happy stories, of normal families, living normal lives here on VJ. It really is too often that we see the doom and gloom side of how things can go in a failed VJ. I am wishing the best for everyone, and many long lovely years with their loved ones. I have been checking this thread a lot, cause it really brings a smile to my heart to see all of you happy in life. I don't post too often, but I do come to read a good bit (I work a LONG SLOW night shift...too much time on my hands)So it's nice to read and participate in a upbeat thread.
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2012-03-07 14:30:00
Middle East and North AfricaHas marriage & life been what you expected?
My husband and I have been married for one year. The relationship part of our marriage is pretty much as I expected. The only thing that is a little different from what I expected, is how we communicate our feelings. Being as we had almost entirely an internet relationship while dating, we did alot of talking about our feelings. Now that he is here we don't do that as often, and I have to admit that I miss it a bit. I ask Hamza often, tell me how your feeling ? We used to talk for hours about an endless love :P He does tell me he loves me often, he is just not quite as romantic as he was via the net. He says this is because he is here now, and he can show me he loves me in his actions, and doesn't feel like its necessary to talk about it all day. He does show me he loves me in his actions. He Cooks dinner most nights, and if we are all home he does lunch too, he cleans the house, does the dishes, if I am working, or if he notices something needs taken care of he does it. He does the laundry, when I'm slacking. He takes care of my daughter when I'm at work, or sleeping during the day (cause I work night shift) He loves my daughter, and really treats her like she is his. That is the most important thing.He loves my family, and really fits right in with everyone. He is always making me special goodies, cakes, flan, other pastry experiments. He values my opinion, and asks me advice. So I guess maybe its a women's thing to find it necessary to talk about feelings, or maybe I just became accustomed to it because it was our only form of communication for a long time. However this is the only things that is lacking from our relationship.... and truthfully it is not a big deal, and I only ever bring it up with him, when I am PMSing :P

Other things that I wasn't expecting, outside of our relationship is the length of time it took him to find a job. It was almost the entire year before he could find a job. Part of this is because of transportation. I live in a small town, where job opportunities are non existent. He can not drive yet either, so he really couldn't look to far out of town, otherwise no one would be able to drive him to and from. Finally he found a job where he is able to walk to. Another thing is that he still does not have his drivers license. He doesn't really mind not driving, until special occasions come along, where he would like to drive to the stores (all 15 min drives or more away) to buy me or my daughter something special , and he is unable to. However he is always able to find a way to get something, or do something special anyway. These are things neither of us expected, and he did get a little frustrated about not finding a job quickly, but he kept himself busy renovating our house, and volunteering at the YMCA, going to school at the community college.... and golfing with my dad.

We have different religions, and I was a little worried if this was going to cause problems once he got to America... but it hasn't at all. Occasionally we have a disagreement about something, and usually its over a misunderstanding. Most things in religion we agree about.We are still working out the kinks, in how we will raise any children we will have religiosity wise. We are going to have a planned pregnancy, once we feels its the right time, and we can come to a complete plan/compromise on the religion issue. We do have an idea of how we are going to do this, just haven't talked about the details in a while, as we r not planning on a child right now.

Hamza has adjusted to life in America, really without any kind of culture shock, home sickness, or any other problems. He talks to his family daily, on skype... this has helped a lot. We are making plans to visit this fall, and that's something we are both looking forward too. He is family guy, and would rather spend time with me, my daughter, and my family then go out with friends, so meeting other guys to hang out with hasn't been an issue. However I do hope he finds some guys he can spend time with , when he wants to. The closest Mosque is about 1 1/2 hours away, so he rarely gets the chance to go. He does hang out with me and my friends and their husbands, and gets along with them very well.

Overall life is what I expected, hoped, and prayed for. I thank god everyday, for all the blessings that came into my life, when I met Hamza.
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2012-03-05 10:31:00
Middle East and North AfricaAbusive Relationships
People who we as individuals believe need our help, will only accept our help when they truly want it. We can only put it out there, and share our concern. Wether they choose to take that offer of help or not is on them. At least we know we put it out there. As adults we have to make our own choice, and live with the consequences. I worked in a Domestic violence shelter for a year, and we would generally see the same women in the shelter about 5 times before they decided to end the relationship once and for all, if they did at all. I will never understand the psychology in this. When I saw the women leave the shelter and go back to their abusers, i just wanted to grab them and say " what are you doing???" This really would have been pointless, because if they are not listening to their children s cries, and their own families pleas... then why in the world would they listen to me. So all we did as a shelter when these women told us that they were going back to their abusers was to give them the tools and information to try to stay safe while living with an abuser, and to let them know our doors are always open. I think this is the approach that anyone needs to take with anyone in their lives who are being abused. They more you try to push help/ advice / judge the more they will push you away, and will be less likely to come to you, when they decide they finally want the help. Unless you have been in one of these relationships, you can never fully understand the psychology of why a woman goes back to the abuse. Even the women in these situations don't fully understand. There is alot of power and control issues, self esteem issues, crazy making ( when a man actually makes a women believe she is crazy), sometimes financial issues, maybe she feels she deserved it, doesn't want to split up a family, religious reasons, "love", fear of being alone, fear of retaliation, abuser may make her feel guilty (I cant live without you), family pressure,,,ect. We can only guess at the reasons. If we truly care about a person who is being abuse the right thing to do is to let them know we are concerned, and are there to help them,and not to judge them... and to help them find the tools they need. Maybe since we now know this VJ member is staying with the abuser we could help her think of some ideas to help keep herself and kids safe.




-Know where your local shelter is
- talk to them about a safety plan, and talking to a counselor, or attending groups
- Put fire escape ladders in your kids, and your room. He will believe they are there for fire safety. Use them to escape if things get violent, or for your kids to escape and alert a neighbor.
- Hide a escape bag, with clothes, money, medicine, pay as you go phone. If he takes your cell phone so that you can not call for help... you will have a spare. Give one to kids as well ? ( are your children old enough to have a phone, if not are they old enough to know how to dial 911)
- Do you have a closet he does not use often ? Put a lock on the inside of that door, and your pay as you go phone inside. You can lock yourself in here, until police arrive. If he doesn't use this closet he wont notice the new lock on the inside.
- Do you live in an apartment ? Ask neighbor on either side if you can come up with a code to knock on walls, if help is ever needed.
- Get a panic button, and give the receiver to a neighbor . You can carry this button, or glue it in a hidden area easy to access ( the inside roof of a drawer) and press this in an emergency.
- Memorize the number to a taxi service (in case he takes your car keys, to prevent you from leaving. - Do you have weapons in your house, that he has access to ? Can you get them out of the house ?
- If you feel abuse is coming is there a safer place in your home, where there are exits, and no weapons


Recognize abuse:
Do you:

feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
feel that you can't do anything right for your partner?
believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
wonder if you're the one who is crazy?
feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:

humiliate or yell at you?
criticize you and put you down?
treat you so badly that you're embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
blame you for their own abusive behavior?
see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

Does your partner:

have a bad and unpredictable temper?

act excessively jealous and possessive?

hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?

control where you go or what you do?

threaten to take your children away or harm them?

keep you from seeing your friends or family?

threaten to commit suicide if you leave?

limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?

force you to have sex?

limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?

destroy your belongings?

constantly check up on you?








Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate you and exert their power:
  • Dominance ? Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his or her possession.
  • Posted ImageHumiliation ? An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.
  • Isolation ? In order to increase your dependence on him or her, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He or she may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone.
  • Threats ? Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He or she may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.
  • Intimidation ? Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences.
  • Denial and blame ? Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He or she will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, his or her violent and abusive behavior is your fault.

If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If you're hesitating?telling yourself that it's none of your business, you might be wrong, or the person might not want to talk about it?keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save his or her life.


Do's and Don'ts
Do:

  • Ask if something is wrong.
  • Express concern.
  • Listen and validate.
  • Offer help.
  • Support his or her decisions.
Don't:

  • Wait for him or her to come to you.
  • Judge or blame.
  • Pressure him or her.
  • Give advice.
  • Place conditions on your support.

Info can be found at http://www.helpguide...ses_effects.htm


Edited by Danni and Hamza, 31 July 2012 - 01:52 PM.

Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2012-07-31 13:45:00
Middle East and North AfricaRamadan 2012
I'm not Muslim, but I did Ramadan with my husband last year and plan on doing it again this year. There were a couple of days I have to admit that I cheated. There were a few times when my dad made some food that I just couldnt resist, and took a lil nibble. My daughter didn't fast, but she really enjoyed Ramadan, because we did big late dinners, and then walked to my parents house to share leftovers, and stayed up late, and she also really liked after dinners we tried to share a little about our religions, and relate the topic to good life lessons that can be found in every religion. I thought it was alot of fun. It was a challenge not to eat, but so much fin talking about and planning big dinners, cooking together, looking up menus, and making goodies to share. Then that few moments before the sunsets, and we are waiting at the table and we all start to smile cause we know how we are going to just jump into the food and make pigs of ourselves, and then finally its times and the food tastes even better then normal. However I think my stomach must shrink during the day while I am fasting, cause I was never able to eat as much as I thought or wanted too :P Anyway, its a fun times for us, and I am looking forward to it. I can't guarantee a full fast EVERY day, but I try my best. I hope everyone will enjoy there Ramadan as well.

Edited by Danni and Hamza, 14 July 2012 - 05:06 PM.

Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2012-07-14 17:05:00
Middle East and North AfricaHappy Couples ....
http://www.visajourn...ed/page__st__15 I think I meant to send you this topic. Sorry about so many posts. I am Scatter brained today, up since 3 am :P
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2012-07-27 07:35:00
Middle East and North AfricaHappy Couples ....
Oh and just wanted to add that I don't think the dominate man thing ( women must obey) is cultural. Power control issues and abuse is everywhere. Check out the US stats on domestic violence. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, on average, more than three women and one man are murdered by their intimate partners in this country every day.
An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. Is it cultural for US men?
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2012-07-27 07:23:00
Middle East and North AfricaHappy Couples ....
Here is a link to a good thread, about this topic. http://www.visajourn...0#entry5409938. I think this thread is only a couple moths old. It seems there r alot of happy married ppl on vj MENA. I am happy! I don't know about this cultural thing that some talk about , where MENA men think women must obey. That certainly is not my relationship, and quite honestly dosnt sound like a marriage at all. We have not had too many adjustments culturally, a few misunderstanding all the normal marriage ups and downs. I can't complain, life is good... And he cooks and does dishes :) bonus!
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2012-07-27 07:00:00
Middle East and North AfricaForum for Algeria
Hello sarsorti,

I registered for this site a while back, and have been pretty inactive. They may have actually removed me from their members list. If I remember correctly I had to download a plug in as well. Their homepage has some sort of moving graphic and I think that was the reason I needed to download the plug-in . I may not be totally correct in this, and I may be remembering something incorrectly. So I know this is not much of a help, but wanted to respond cause no one had yet.

-Danni
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2013-01-15 11:01:00
Middle East and North AfricaForum for Algeria
HAHA, I see. I guess it can be confusing. Short for Danielle. Anyway Thank you :)

-Danni
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2011-12-12 02:23:00
Middle East and North AfricaForum for Algeria
Thanks for the info. I went to check it out, and registered... so I can see what its all about.

Danni
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2011-12-07 17:52:00
Middle East and North AfricaNo military records need exepmt form ??
No news back about the email yet. I called my Congressman's office today, to see if they got a reply back... But the secretary, who has been working with me, is out of the office today. So they asked me to call back tomorrow. So hopefully tomorrow she will have some new news for me. we will see. Thanks for asking :)
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2010-09-20 15:41:00
Middle East and North AfricaNo military records need exepmt form ??

By military exemption do you mean, for example, the card Adel has that keeps him out of the military because he's in university...is that what you mean? or should he be getting something else?


That is all Hamza has . A card saying he is exempt, because hes is in the University. BUT... they didn't ask for it. I would take it anyways. We actually called, the embassy to ask about this. I asked, if he has no record of being in the military, does he need to bring anything, about this. They said no, don't worry about it. So I think its not a big deal.

Danni
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2010-09-19 20:05:00
Middle East and North AfricaNo military records need exepmt form ??
Thanks malarie! We are working on getting his military papers now. Thanks, again for the reply!
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2010-07-08 21:16:00
Middle East and North AfricaNo military records need exepmt form ??

Hi Danni, He will need his military exemption. Good luck
Meriem (F)



Thanks for the reply Meriem! We will get on that, first thing sunday :)
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2010-07-03 00:17:00
Middle East and North AfricaNo military records need exepmt form ??
Hey everyone!

My fiance Hamza is from algeria. We are preparing for our interview (no date yet). We know that he is required to bring military records, if he has any. If he has no military history, is he required to bring a form to say he is exempt from doing the military, or another form saying he has no military history ?

Thanks
Danni
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2010-07-02 16:47:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & Procedureswhat i can do if i got denied
Well, I am gonna give hm a little break on the language. Cause English is not his first language, and I am in a place where I am trying to learn another language, and its very frustrating for me. So I can understand, how he could easily make a few spelling mistakes, and grammatical errors. However if he is truly looking for help we need to have an explanation for the discrepancy's in his facts. Because the more i hear about his case, the more concerned I am for his wife. Also if he lied to the CO about any facts, doesn't that put him in a place where he could face a ban from the US?

to the OP:

What are your true ages, and what ages did you tell the CO ?
Does your wife have a bank account ?
Is it your Brother-in-law or sister-in-law who is the sponsor?
Have you lied to the CO or on any immigration forms ?

Also, if you are accepting money from your wife, you should stop this. You should consider paying her back as well. I can tell you she has to be struggling financially. Maybe your don't understand the economy in the USA, but $9 and hour is almost impossible to live off of. Also another thing to consider is the opinion that her friends and family will form about you, for accepting money from her. If you were accepting money from a female you intended to marry in Morocco, what would her family/ your family think about you ? Would this be an acceptable thing in Morocco?I think you know the answer, and this is why all of us here are doubting your motives as well.
Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2012-03-07 14:17:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & Procedureswhat i can do if i got denied
Hello Pol7410

27/46 or 32/50

I hate to point this out, but I noticed in your other thread that you said that you were 27 and wife is 46. However here you have told the CO that you are 32 and your wife 50. If you told the CO a lie about your ages, this would be a huge reason for denial. Always be honest with the CO, and on all immigration papers. I wish you are your wife only the best. Good luck.

-Danni


Edited to not that Palm tree just beat me to this.

Edited by Danni and Hamza, 07 March 2012 - 01:04 PM.

Danni and HamzaFemaleAlgeria2012-03-07 13:03:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresWhat are the requirements to pass a medical examination?
Will need a negative TB skin test, if it turns positive, will need chest xray (good to do in advance and bring/fax results to Civil Surgeon office)
Will need a blood test for Syphilis (good to do in advance and bring/fax results to Civil Surgeon office)
The rest of the Communicable diseases, under Part 1 C of the Medical Examination forms, the Civil Surgeon will determine upon examination (they are 'visible')
Civil Surgeon will also determine mental health and possibility of drug addiction/abuse
Several vaccines will be required (best to do those in advance as well) : DT/DTP/DTaP, Td/Tdap, OPV/IPV, MMR, hib, Hep B, Varicella, Pneumococcal, Influenza (if its flu season), Rotavirus, Hep A, Meningococcal

Most people already have most vaccines, so it's very helpful to have all immunization records of the person.
ibeeFemale02012-08-29 19:13:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresHow can we make Vermont understand?
How can we make Vermont understand the LIFE act and get then to give the K-3 at least
the same processing time as the K-1? For cryin out loud, we are already married and the
K-1 is an immigration visa. The K-3 amounts to a long term visitors visa (two years)
and is applied for by an American citizen. Why are they combining K-3 and I-130 petitions
and approving at the same time? If they are intent on continuing this practice, why not just
throw away all the K-3 petitions and lighten the work load. Should make things faster for
everyone. If anyone has any ideas, sure would like to hear 'em.
Good luck everybody. Still hoping Vermont is willing to share with California.
honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2008-11-30 21:13:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresI-130 and K-3 Visa
Hey all;
Would like to congratulate those with recent approvals and especially those with visa in hand. The holiday season should be wonderful for most of you being together. I still wait on Vermont, but at least when I am here I know I am not alone.

Question; if my wifes I-130 goes through at the same time or before her K-3 and we decide to go that way, is the I-485 necessary at some point in tiime.

Question; Would it be possible for her to come to visit on a tourist visa just after the begining of January for her birthday while we wait? Of course she must return for the eventual interview in Kiev and to pack and of course to bring our little girl. Would this be enough to sway the embassy do you think?

Thanks to everyone here and good luck
honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2008-12-07 00:17:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresK-3 and I-130 approvals together?
I used to be upset because Vermont has totally ignored the reason for the K-3 visa, and has approved them along with the underlying I-130, but I can see that this is a pretty cool idea. Not only is there less chance of them causing a problem after my wife is here, but we can decide to wait a little longer if I go to visit her again, and forgo the stiff AOS charge after the K-3 and she will also have instant EAD and green card. I won't have to deal with vermont again, and I have a good reason for a flight back to Ukraine. Not only is it good to be with my family, but the vacation time away is great for the mental health.
I have gotten used to the wait and my wife doesn't mind so much anymore. We talkk every day and winter is now upon us so there is time to wait until spring. Take your time Vermont. Sometimes I think people expect entirely too much from you.
And CSC. you are setting a bad example. Slow it down a bit. It isn't any wonder people are upset with Vermont.
honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2008-12-08 22:21:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresNVC Journey
Some of the people here have already gone this far, and bless you all for the assistance
and help you provide for those of us who follow in your footsteps. I hope I am able to help
someone as those here have helped me.
I now begin the journey through NVC because the K-3 has not been approved in spite of the I-130 approvals for wife and child, but if I understand correctly, I have to again send a copy of everything I sent for the I-130 in addition to the originals? Including the original police certificate for her and the original marriage certificate? She has the original with appostille.
If I am going to be correct I think I need some guidance. No.....I know I do.
I thought most of this was going to be forwarded to them by USCIS?
Thanks to all
honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2009-02-14 23:34:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & Proceduresmore I-130 questions
Thanks Everyone;

The anxiety begins anew with the NVC trip. Special circumstannces seem to make ouiur trip a little different. The absence of a father and having to write unknown on the form with an attachment along with the documents from Ukraine explaining she is a single mother which I understand is a common occurance there, and I hope the NVC will understand. My wife is afraid to explain this to those who do not know or may not understand, but it is needed if she is to come. I wait for the numbers from NVC (closed today) and begin collecting the documents. I can only hope I am complete enough to avoid the dreaded RFE.
The photos of Ukraine make me wish I was there even with the weather they have now. I have sent the ds230 and 3032 to my wife in preparation for her signature and waiting for some of the originals to be translated. By the time I have numbers this should be done and on its way to me FedEx.
Any suggestions anyone may have for me would be appreciated.

It would be nice to meet everyone sometime. Till then, chin up everyone.
honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2009-02-16 20:16:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & Proceduresmore I-130 questions
Thanks everyone. It seems I waited so long, and now there is much to do in a short time.
Of course there will be "wait again, but I hope it will be short.

Gary, how is everything? Belated congratulations to you and your wife on your marriage.
I hope everything is going well for you and your family.

Has anyone here gone through the interview process? And still trying to find out if wife
and daughter can be scheduled together. I was planning so much on the K-3 that
I did not think about the I-130 process before. From everyone's experience I planned for the K-3 first.

It seems all that I did with the K-3 petition was a waste of time and money.

Thanks again

honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2009-02-15 10:32:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & Proceduresmore I-130 questions
How can I get my original documents back from NVC?
will they ask me for them at the embassy when we go for the interview?
Some of them are special to us like the Marriage cert.
Thanks to everyone here for all the information they share
honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2009-02-15 02:09:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresEmbassy documents
We have decided to abandon the K-3 and go forward with the CR-1
I think it will be better for her when she arrives because she will not have to
wait to adjust status and get her EAD
SO>....... will I need documents for the CR-1 affter NVC tells me they will forward
originals and copies to the embassy in Kiev?

I was prepared to do all of this with the K-3 but with the K-3 the NVC does not get that involved
as I understand
honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2009-02-17 22:09:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresEmbassy documents
Hi Folks;

I hate to be redundant, but am I to understand I will not have to take a ton of paper to the embassy since I send originals and copies to NVC?

Getting a little shook thinking about how close I really am
honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2009-02-16 21:36:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & Proceduresanyone who has been through IR-1/CR-1 interview
I would like to find out what happened at the interview, if you received your original documents
at the embassy, and if you needed to take more documents with you.
Thinking of doing the K-3 because I am not sure I trust them to return originals
and keep them safe. Going through Kiev and my wife is thinking she wants to go with
the K-3 because it is not only faster, but wife and daughter will surely interview
together, and I will be there with all documents.
Your comments are welcome/

Thanks everyone
honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2009-02-18 21:31:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresIt is TAX TIME!
Do I still need the W-7 if I file seperate? The bummer is that seperate means I lose big time because by the guidelines, I cannot claim her as a dependent. I understand that with form 2555
she can exclude her foreign income because she has never been here and has a tax home in another country and did not work for the US government there. Its worth 2 grand to file jointly.
You have any idea how to find the tax threads on VJ?
honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2009-02-22 02:07:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresIt is TAX TIME!
But bear with those of us who go to the mountain for the first time. My wife who has had her I-130 approved, works in Ukraine, and because she is not here yet, I am sending along with the 1040 and the W-7 that goes to Texas, a letter of choice that states she wants to be treated as a resident for tax purposes. All of this so we can file jointly. Do I include any of her income and how would I do it?

I am sure that if her income is not taxable, the IRS will want to practice stupidity as they do, and at least report her income on one document, and show it to be excluded on another, but if it is to be taxable, how do I report it with a 1040 filing jointly?

I want to be correct as the State Dept will have a record of her employment for the last ten years and hopefully a copy of this completed tax return.

Thanks all
honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2009-02-21 22:26:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresFiling joint 2008 taxes???
Hello All;'

Thhis is FANTASTIC!!!!!!!

I am sure you all konow how much my head hurts until I found this info. One question though. I am doing the 2555ez to exclude her income, which is little compared to the limit, and of course the letter of choice that requests she be treated as a resident for tax purposes, but on the 2555 it asks for the dates her bona fide foreign residence began and ENDED? What should I use for an ending date since she is still not here??

Thanks a bunch
honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2009-02-22 13:46:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresI-130 waanted but think K-3 better?
I am sure we have all been to the point where it seems as if the information available from both USCIS and NVC is the same as calling the operator to find out if your phone is working. It seems the information they want to share is the information already known, but the questions I have always go unanswered, and of course the classic answers, probably, it's likely, usually and of course, I think.
I called four times to USCIS to ask the question, why my wife has an A number on her I-130 approval and our daughter does not. I got four different answers including, it is usual for the approval not to have the A number and unusual for it to appear there. Of course this could not be a mistake, and I simply cannot accept the answer "It is just something that happens sometimes". Because of the need to provide original documents to NVC and there are overlapping documents that affect the child as well as the wife, we have decided to go with the K-3 which also has the A number, and perhaps there will be an explanation somewhere down the road. Has anyone ever run into this before?
Documents have been sent to the embassy last Friday and I expect my wife will be receiving her package soon. I would have liked to go with the I-130 but the documents are too confusing I think without being presented at an interview like the K interview in person where questions can be explained and they understand the local laws.
Help if you can.

Thanks All
honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2009-02-26 23:09:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresUKRAINIAN TAX HELP PLEASE!
QUOTE (YuAndDan @ Feb 27 2009, 07:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No need to report foreign income especially that of a foreign citizen, they are NOT a resident of the USA yet.

You can file a joint return but will need an ITIN from IRS to do so. OR it is easier to file separate return and amend it later.


I am told not so.. All I have read also tells me that if we file joint, which is what the embassy will want to see as part of the established mariage, she must sign a declaration requesting to be treated as a resident for tax purposes for 2008 even though she is not in the country, with the w-7 app and we must report wworldwide income for us both. She has been told by someone who works in the tax office that she does not have to report tips because nobody knows how much she really has, and of course most people do not, but that does not make it correct. Because of the tax treaty we have with Ukraine, I only wonder if this info will be shared with them because of the joint return.I think I am going to be honest with everything and take my chances. She works without documents at the restaurant, so as far as they are concerned she is not an employee. In Ukraine the employer is responsible for reporting income and payment of taxes. If a person does not have other income than that of the employer, they need not file a return. Trouble is I have already told USCIS that she worked there before I understood all of this and it is on her 325A so there is no changing employment history.
honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2009-02-28 11:12:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresUKRAINIAN TAX HELP PLEASE!
My wife is a waitress in Kiev Ukraine, and of course she has tips which are not reported.
I wanted to file a joint return, and report them the best we can, but with a tax treaty with Ukraine, will it be known in Ukraine that she has this unreported income and will she get a visit from the tax man?
Would it be better for me to file married separrate and do an ammended return when she is here? This is my first time at this and any help would be appreciated.

Thanks all

Edited by honestlyspkng, 27 February 2009 - 07:54 PM.

honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2009-02-27 19:53:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresAll approved in February
Just called NVC and operator told me she does not have access to the invoice id number. I will receive a letter from NVC which is supposed to be sent this week and the number will be on there. Does this sound right? Or just a bunch of #######?
honestlyspkngMaleUkraine2009-02-24 19:54:00