ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Middle East and North AfricaMixing money and taking loans

Mohammed and I plan to open a Moroccan resturaunt in Chattanooga, but we both decided no loans...at least not at first...we will work and save for some years, then maybe. Building a solid relationship and marriage is hard enough at first without financial ####### thrown in imo.


Starting a restaurant can be verrrrry expensive.

Yes I know, I owned a resturaunt /catering business for a couple of years...sold it due to partner dying. This is his dream and something that I am actually good at so if he is willing to work and save for it, I am too.

Edited by chasnik, 11 August 2007 - 05:05 AM.

chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-11 05:04:00
Middle East and North AfricaMixing money and taking loans
Mohammed and I plan to open a Moroccan resturaunt in Chattanooga, but we both decided no loans...at least not at first...we will work and save for some years, then maybe. Building a solid relationship and marriage is hard enough at first without financial ####### thrown in imo.
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-10 16:03:00
Middle East and North AfricaLong distance relationship jealousy

there is a slight jealousy on occasion. today i am going out with a male friend of mine and abdou didn't seem too thrilled with that idea. i had to spend a few minutes reassuring him that he was a long time friend, and friend only. i'm sure he would rather see me not go with my male friends ever without him though!

I know this problem. My best friend is a guy. Has been for 9 years. He takes my kids on road trips(he drives a truck), when he's home we go out to eat or go to Goony golf with the kids. Mohammed has a hard time with this. I have always hated to see when a woman or man for that matter gave up friends because they were in a relationship...these people were friends before you got with your so. I try to compromise and not have Jerry in the home when I am the only one there. I have never been in a relationship where the man was "jealous" for lack of a better word and I agree that at least in Morocco it seems to be one way they show affection. At times it does irritate me and I tell him honestly. He also explains his feelings to me as he waited 34 years to find the one God made for him and it is his job to protect his family. You dont see men/women friends in morocco really unless they are family so this is a VERY hard concept for him to grasp. But I think its a fair trade for the love I get from him which is unlike any I have ever known. Case in point before I went to Morocco my mom was telling me how subserviant they like their women to be..make them walk behind dont speak blah blah blah. When we got there I didnt really think about it until one day we were out walking and everytime I tried to get beside him he would walk ahead still holding my hand but keeping me 1 or 2 steps behind. Now my american mind kicked in lol. Well I asked him am I not good enough to walk beside you? He looked at me like I was crazy. He said to me...My dad taught me that when you treasure and cherish someone you walk with them holding their hand but a bit ahead so that if there is trouble in one second you can have her behind you to block her from whatever the trouble is....yep I melted.
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-07-11 05:35:00
Middle East and North AfricaSleepy Sunday
No rest for the wicked here...have spent the weekend helping a friend move...well technically I am packer/cleaner as I still cant lift anything over 10 lbs :devil: . It is so hot here though....102 yesterday....where is winter???!!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-12 06:25:00
Middle East and North AfricaWarm Fuzzies
My warm fuzzy of the week happened yesterday. My mom had surgery, outpatient. Mohammed sent sms and called all day to make sure all was going well. Then last night we were online and had been uniteruppted for about 15 minutes and he was like "baby go check on mama and make sure shes ok"sooooo sweet. She has a bell :crying: but he couldnt hear that through the mic, he just knew that it had been a while since I had checked on her. Also when I had my lap band surgery done 4 weeks ago, he made me leave the cam on after I got home because he was worried how being put to sleep would affect me. He sat for hours watching me sleep...everytime I opened my eyes there he was.
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-11 05:11:00
Middle East and North AfricaWarm Fuzzies
My warm fuzzy for Mohammed happened last week. I had surgery on Thursday, he stayed up talking to me until about 5 am his time because I was too nervous to sleep. He then got up at 8 his time to talk to me again as I was leaving and he was crying...trying not to let me see but crying. Then after I came out of surgery and my friend called him to tell him I was ok, he actually made her cry because all she could get out of him was crying and thank you God. We've been together 3 yrs, but the depth of his feelings and his ability to express them never fail to make me all warm and fuzzy!!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-07-22 16:31:00
Middle East and North AfricaLONG DISTANCE SONGS
Ive always loved this song...I put it on a cd for Mohammed a few months back and now when we're having "one of those days" we sit and listen to it together and cry :crying: old school I know but beautiful!!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-13 18:02:00
Middle East and North AfricaTHANKFUL THURSDAY
Im thankful for my kids, I was nobody before them and for Mohammed Im more me with him.
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-16 04:53:00
Middle East and North AfricaOMG--His interview is set for Sept 6!!!!!
Good luck!!!! Ya'll are in our prayers!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-16 05:28:00
Middle East and North Africaquestion of address for those in morocco
So realistically if we can get the packet to him we can put the actual address on what goes to the embassy? That might be wiser because I have NO faith in the csc.
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-21 19:07:00
Middle East and North Africaquestion of address for those in morocco
This is true...normally Id just call and change the address and be done with it. But we are at almost 8 months since filing now and I dont want anything to hold it up...and its not like I will get a good answer if I call uscis. I could call 8 times in a row and never get the same answer!!!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-21 16:19:00
Middle East and North Africaquestion of address for those in morocco
Thanks... this is kinda what I thought, Im just worried if the passport or anything has the new address when he goes for his interview that will be a reason for them to deny. Like casa needs one. But when we first met our first christmas I sent it to a totally different address and he got it...lol I think addresses are just starting off places in Morocco. Once again thanks!!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-21 09:33:00
Middle East and North Africaquestion of address for those in morocco
Mo has moved a bit down on the same street that he did live on...49 instead of 69. He still gets the mail I send to the 49 number because the postman knows him. I went on the uscis website and looked but the only info it seemed to be giving me on changing addresses was if you had a pending case and were in the us. So my question is since we are still at the csc do I call them and do an address change? How does the packet(if we ever get that far) go out? Advice please!!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-21 08:50:00
Middle East and North AfricaI gotta say Thanks to you all
I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry your going through this. It's hard to start with when we have kids to make the decision to bring another adult into the mix then when things do not go as planned regardless of where the SO is from it is horrible. Stay strong, your in my prayers.
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-10 04:48:00
Middle East and North AfricaThursday~?????? ~Jeudi
No countdown for school here!!! We are at the end of our 2nd week thank God, we are back on our schedule. News from my doctor yesterday I cannot fast for Ramadan this year crying.gif but if I do well with the surgery I can next year. Only today then Friday yay!!!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-23 04:52:00
Middle East and North AfricaAre you religious?
If everyone is throwing in their .02 here's mine. I dont like the word religion at all....to me it brings to mind Sunday mornings and evenings and Wednesday evenings standing on the porch talking about someone till they walk up then its all hugging and sister or brother. Religion lumps you in with everyone one else. A relationship with God imo is a personal thing.... I am muslim, but I dont even really fit in there I think... because I dont believe the only ones going to heaven are the muslims, nor when I was christian did I think we were going to get to heaven and be all alone. If that is spirituality so be it...all I know is I am totally submitted to God, thats not a religion it's life.
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-29 13:02:00
Middle East and North AfricaCoverts?
Hi...first of all I will say Im sorry I didnt read the whole thread...so if something I say has already been said just ignore me lol. I wrote about this exact thing on my myspace blog yesterday because I was getting some flack from people at work who saw my Quran sitting on my desk. I took my shahadah a little over a year ago after studying and praying for 4 years. I do not cover...I have alot of muslim friends here who do, but as of yet I do not feel led.Mohammed doesnt mind one way or another. One thing I will say to you is to study...and to listen to your heart..and do not mistake culture for islam. Simply put islam is submission...submission to God. It is something personal to each person...while my friends feel led to cover why do I not? Because this is my relationship with God while there are certain things that as a muslim you would of course do...prayer..fasting charity etc....how you get there is entirely personal. My link to myspace is on this page...I dont like to lay out too much Cara in this forum...people tend to chop little pieces off!!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-30 19:35:00
Middle East and North AfricaHappy Friday!!!!!
Sports laden weekend for me. My 9 yr old is playing fall baseball and football so we will live at the ball field this weekend for practices. On a happy note it rained yesterday and their was def fall in the air...I cant wait for winter!!!Then I can come out of the house!!!! Hope ya'll have a great holiday weekend!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-31 05:06:00
Middle East and North AfricaTuesday
My good news is my kids went back 2 weeks ago!!! We are now in the flow...school..homework..ball and chorus practice. Hopefully good news later in the next few weeks, I emailed VP Cheney last night about our case as the congressman and senators are getting no answer and I printed the form for the Ombudsman and will mail it certified today....so hopefully some answers!!!Ya'll have a good Tuesday!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-09-04 06:43:00
Middle East and North AfricaInternet Casanova's
Yes my dads were but there are alot of cases out there say a girl marries a boy because she is pregnant and needs a dad for the baby....she doesnt love him at that point but grows too...should he leave her? Or an younger man or woman marries an older person for money or security...goes into it cold without love...but comes to love the person...should they get left when they now love? I know this is a person by person thing...case by case but people do not always start things for honorable upstanding reasons...that doesnt mean that somewhere along the way they cannot change.
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-09-03 12:31:00
Middle East and North AfricaInternet Casanova's
Personally, I think in general alot of couples arent really "in love" when they get married. People marry for a variety of reasons...financial, arranged, love, friendship.....and alot of the "non love" marriages last and these people tend to end up more in love than the flash in the pan butterflies and pounding hearts. Because "in love" and love are really 2 different things. If I knew that he loved me, he would stay. My parents got married so they could adopt me from her little sister who was pregnant. At that point you could say my mom used my dad....he was sedate and laid back..she had been dating him but she was wilder and wanted more excitement out of life...but she couldnt have kids. When told she couldnt have me unless she was married my dad offered to marry her...She did, but not really for love at that point. This weekend they are in North Carolina celebrating 40 years. And they love each other. Even if the man had dishonest tendancies to start with...but now loves you...Id stay!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-09-03 07:11:00
Middle East and North AfricaDepression
As you saw from reading my blog, I had this problem the other day....but normally it is Mohammed. He gets down because of the wait...we are still at CSC. What Ive found works best with him is I will address the fact that he is down, talk to him about it for a minute then move away from it....After 5 minutes or so of "normal" conversation or me being stupid( such a chore lol) he snaps out of it somewhat. Sometimes we make lists...of things we want to do with the kids or just us when he gets here...then sometimes we online window shop for things for the house each sending the other links to sites that has things we like.
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-09-04 06:38:00
Middle East and North AfricaMarrying a Muslim
Don't you just love the support you get from family and friends when you fall outside the "norm"??? Before I went it was they will kill you. I made it back so now its hes using you for a green card or so he can get here to blow us up. He will control you and not let you out of the house. Muslim men are overly jealous. Luckily my mom is an equal opportunity hater because when I mention an ex I had that flew into jealous rages she states "well he was a redneck" lol!!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-04-01 06:07:00
Middle East and North Africacontacting your senator or rep for help, was it helpful ? pros/cons
Status of my case would be lost in the pits of hell. Or in laymans terms still at the CSC. No noa2 yet and it is driving me batty.
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-26 12:06:00
Middle East and North Africacontacting your senator or rep for help, was it helpful ? pros/cons
Well, I went to our congressmans office the first part of July. At that point the aide got a canned response about the congressional inquiry, but last week I sent her another email and she called me and contacted someone she knows here in the Atlanta office who she says can see whatever the CSC is doing. I havent gotten an email back, but I did have two touches on my case, so I know someone at least looked at it before they put it back in the black hole. I say it cant hurt to contact them,and yes I did sign the release. They are public servants and supposed to be here to help!!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-08-26 08:04:00
Middle East and North Africacant take the wait any longger
Kimberly,
Thats good... I know from chatting that the job thing has been getting you down. Mo's mom was in the hosp when I was there...yes it's different from here but they knew what they were doing..If I could afford it me and the kids would be there with Mo...Im a little jealous lol. Do what is best for you. Keep in touch!!!Glad your ok!
Cara
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-09-22 07:32:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA/USA marriages
[quote name='OlivianWaleed' date='Sep 8 2007, 11:30 PM' post='1179205'

When polling successful (long marriages) married people before I got married I asked what makes it last so long. Among the things mentioned in every group was compatability, and compromise.
[/quote]
Honestly I dont think compatability is a big helper in staying together....if it was you wouldnt so much need compromise. The reason alot of those people are married 30,40,50 years is because they got married for life. Do these couples fight...of course, but they dont break up over it. They talk and work and move forward in the marriage. My parents are as different as night and day. My mom is social and loves to have family around...loves animals, my dad is a loner and would walk a mile out of his way to kick an animal. This is their 40th yr anniversary. When I asked my parents for advice and my granparents who just celebrated 62 yrs they essentially said the same thing. Love isnt that flash in the pan butterfly feeling even though thats where it starts. Love is family suppers...car trips where everyone throws up in the car...spilled milk and dirty diapers. How many couples do you hear that divorce because of I love you but Im not in love with you anymore....
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-09-10 05:23:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA/USA marriages

I hesitate to mention this but we do have a difference in opinion on whether to cover my head. My opinion is no, and his is yes. This will cause friction at times I"m sure but we both do agree that in the end it is MY decision.

Mohammed and I have this same discussion. He does agree that it is my decision, but seems to think that after we are married my decision will be to cover lol. His sisters do not and his answer was I am not their husband! Oh well we will cross that bridge when we get to it. As far as everything else goes I think compromise is the key word. When I asked him in the past about recipes so I can cook for him food he loves his answer was basically I am coming to America...cook what you cook..at least till we open the resturaunt!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-07-11 16:05:00
Middle East and North AfricaDRUM ROLL PLEASE
You must be going crazy....I know I would be!!!Congrats!!!! kicking.gif
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-10-24 05:22:00
Middle East and North Africashipping them back and you are pregnant
Obviously there is more going on here than just the passive reader will ever know....that said yes if it can be done its a great thing to have mom and dad both still in the picture...my kids and my ex husband and I do outings...thankgsgiving and xmas with us and whoever he is dating now...this is what I do to give my kids stability...he did not ever ask me to abort my children...he did cheat on me..this is something I can handle. Not everyone can. And families can be interchangable. I am adopted....not my biological family and most of the people my kids call aunt uncle etc are just friends...chosen family...family does not always equal stability as I think we all have seen in our lifetimes...in the end everyone must do what is best for them. No one else knows that but the people involved. If he does go back to Morocco that doesnt end the fact that this child is his and can still have contact with the family...they wont all cease to exist if he goes back..maybe harder to have contact but the same can be said for parents who live in the same city!!! Just mho
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-10-25 07:00:00
Middle East and North AfricaWas wondering who else is waiting since 2006- we should keep in touch
Oh lord....this post scares me. We are in background checks right now at the CSC...we are only at 10 months though, I can well imagine the wait is unbearable the longer it goes because I am about to lose my mind now. Ive contacted senators, congressman, the vice president.And nothing...just you are in background checks...I hope you hear something soon!!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-09-30 20:19:00
Middle East and North Africait's a happy day for sunnykleo - visa in hand :)
Congrats!!! good.gif kicking.gif
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-11-16 05:57:00
Middle East and North AfricaIs this all worth it?
Not to fan the fire but Aimee has a right to be here...yes it is sad that Heather passed...none of us were there...everyone has their own version of the facts. And it is sad that in order to be with the man she loves Aimee has to involve Heather....cannot be at all comfortable for Aimee...what is the appropriate time frame to mourn?? My ex husbands has been dating a girl for 5 months...yesterday was the 1 yr anniversary of her husbands death...sad for those that knew her husband assuredly...and sad for her but she has moved on with her life...one way to honor the dead is to live the life you have...Im sure if Heather loved him she would want him happy...is that always comfortable for the friends and family of the deceased left behind? No but life moves on with or without us. And Aimee wouldnt have to bring it up if she could post without being attacked imo. No one has to respond to posts they dont want to. This supposed to be a support board.
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-11-17 21:08:00
Middle East and North Africapast relationships?
I have been honest with Mo...even when he didnt want to know..I have kids by my ex so obviously I wasnt pure lol...this is the first relationship for him...his take on it is our lives started the day we decided to be together....what happened before made me the woman he fell in love with.
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-11-15 20:32:00
Middle East and North AfricaHappy Wedding Day to Sparrow
Congrats, hope the day was everything you ever dreamt it would be!!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-11-20 05:53:00
Middle East and North AfricaDefinite Approval
Congrats!!!!! good.gif
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-11-20 06:01:00
Middle East and North AfricaFinally I got the call !
Congrats!!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-11-20 06:00:00
Middle East and North AfricaGood Luck to Wrestgirl
Good luck and prayers for the interview!!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-11-26 20:20:00
Middle East and North Africahappy b-day prince of egypt
Happy birthday!!!!
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-11-27 05:54:00
Middle East and North AfricaVisa in Hand!!!!!!
Thats wonderful!!! Congrats!!! kicking.gif
chasnikFemaleMorocco2007-11-22 09:26:00