biggish data

Tuesday

QUOTE (moody @ Oct 16 2007, 11:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Cute!

I miss the Teletubbies.

actually the teletubbies used to drive me CRAZY..

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-10-16 11:22:00

Tuesday

well as I was leaving the house today.. I locked myself out

I JUST stepped beyond the threshold to hand my son his school bag.. turned around just in time to hear the door click shut.. My keys.. bag.. other sons school bag were all RIGHT THERE!!! THank god we all had out coats on.. cause it is pretty Freaking COLD!!!!

I'm 100% NOT in the mood to be at work...

I am stuck paying the AOS fee even thou it got cancled

I am very upset about that!

I decided I want to get a Boston Terrier dog.. but cant find a good way in getting one

I have decided to go back to school again.. a buddy of mine wanted to pair up and go back together.. But we both wanna go to different schools.. BUT we have to decided on the same one to try and do some of the same classes.. I need her to help me baby sit the boys a few nights so I can go.. but in the end i dont think she will do it

My son has to have ear surgery again!

Edited by deemabrouk, 16 October 2007 - 10:49 AM.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-10-16 10:44:00

Attention Fiance fraud

i read the post in the K1 section too.. its nuts.. i think Love story was writing.. posing as the Financee.. you could tell cause of the ya

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-17 14:43:00

Attention Fiance fraud

honestly I could go into a jilted babbeling rage right now.. I wont..

BUT..

I second listening to your friends and the people that truely love you
visiting and learning WHO this person is FACE TO FACE... not online
follow your gut... if you feel any red flags and flaws... PAY ATTENTION TO THEM!

Edited by deemabrouk, 15 September 2007 - 09:08 AM.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-15 09:03:00

our yisa

sorry for all the confussion i applied in dec/05 for K1 it was sitting in cairo embassy from feb 2006 thru till i withdrew it dec 2006 . nothing was getting done just sitting on someones desk collecting dust. so we got married and i applied for the spousal visa and it was approved june 5 2007.20 days it took to the date at the california center . vermont had it for 10 months without processing it so it was transferred to the calif. center no time and we were approved.now we are waiting for the packets from the nvc . then to cairo again. hopefully he will be here by the end of the summer. sorry to all i hope i cleared it all up for you, micky

MABROUK micky... I know you have ben waiting a LONGGGGGGGGGG time... hopefully your processing will speed up

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-06-18 09:45:00

our yisa

i think I am alittle bit confused too...

So.. Micky started this post... then in the middle of it found out she got approved???

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-06-17 19:47:00

Does your MENA SO have children?

i know its a complete Double Standard... but I could never marry a man that had kids.. Alhamdulillah my husband was never married/ has kids..

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-06-20 09:51:00

make love

not war

get married and do both!

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-07-03 14:08:00

I guess I am still in shock, how can everyone else have these wonderful experiences and I have a nightmere. I am now broke with credit card bills from my trip to Egypt. I may I have to get another job, so that way I will work two jobs to pay off this mess. I always heard that arab men love to take care of women, he was a police officer in Egypt and stepped down, cause he was a captain and could not apply for visa and be married to american while on the police force. All I know is that now i don't trust no man, I can't tell you how i feel, it is like i am a joke to my family and friends, they all ask what happened to him. I am embaressed and heartbroken and now poor as hell. So no I am not a troll, I am a real person who feels like I have been robbed and raped. I hate feeling this way and I am afriad I will be come really bitter now, oh well wonder what today will bring. Sorry about ranting I am just really devasted here. I really not sure if i would ever do that again, pay for a man.

thats really a terrible situation. but unfortunately, you are not the only one who's had this kind of experience. some don't even talk about it...but believe me, there are plenty of women who go through bad situations with their foreign spouse (and men too!) i know it must be hard to walk away from someone you invested so much time (and money) but i think its for the best. find a man here who will cherish you and not take advantage of your kindness. good luck!

Hey Girls

i am sorry about all this, but to let you know i never ever let my wife pay a penny, i used to pay for her tickets and even sometimes i pay for her rent in state. so this means those guys or some of them have no pride to take money from woman shame on them.

thats how my husband feels.. very old school.. he rather sell his cloths.. cell phone.. whatever.. then take money from me.. BUT when it came down to seeing me again sooner than later.. he gave in to ME buying the last tickets !! :thumbs:

Edited by deemabrouk, 27 June 2007 - 09:45 PM.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-06-27 21:42:00

Don't be so hard on yourself... learn from this experience. Talk to him ASAP, perhaps there are things going on in his life that you just don't understand. If you still feel uncomfortable you will know what to do.

Again sorry.

Agreed!!!!

I wish you wouldn't waste one more minute feeling ashamed or foolish. You gave your heart unselfishly. What a beautiful thing!!! Any man that doesn't appreciate that and doesn't give you the honor, love, and respect you deserve doesn't deserve your beautiful heart. Rather I think you should hold your head high and know that you did the best you could, and he is the failure. You do need to take some time to heal, but don't close your heart completely. There are still a lot of good men out there, you just have to know the signs.

Hugs to you

Agreed again! This is good advice..

Edited by deemabrouk, 27 June 2007 - 02:28 PM.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-06-27 14:28:00

When I first flew over to egypt and got married.. He paid for everything.. ticket.. flat.. wedding.. food.. any shopping i did (which I DID limit :whistle:

) I paid for my best friend to fly from England to come to the Wedding.. and I had to pay someone to "nanny" my kids.

A half year later.. I couldnt take it anymore.. and I had to go back and see him again.. I went with my kids.. SO i paid for our flight - 3 tickets is a good amount of money! BUT he paid for everything else.. flat.. food.. shopping / spoiling of the kids...

Regarding the Visa.. I did pay upfront.. then he would pay me back. Sometimes send a Money Order.. OR he waited until I was there... So he didnt have to pay the fee for Western Union

I also a couple times asked HIM for $100 bucks.. :whistle:

My husband had a savings/ stocks.. and he has been slowly draining it ever since he met me :whistle:

Alhamdulillah my husband has had that opportunity.

I DO know that MENA men dont make ANYWHERE NEAR the $ we do here.. and Alhamdulillah he had some $ put away.

SOoooo.. I can understand why people pay for tickets.. and other expensises. The economy is HORRIBLE in egypt... IF it was better I'd probably move there.. rather than him moving here.

OKay.. Geeze.. TMI :thumbs:

What alarms me in the Origional post.. is that the communication is NOT there.. I used to talk to my husband all the time on the computer.. but I saw the toll of the time difference hitting him... After I would get home from work.. and be able to talk to him.. It would be VERY late over there.. PLUS.. the internet cafes are packed with young teenagers/ young 20's.. Smok'n up a storm.. (my husband is a NON smoker.. alhamdulillah!)
I would watch him rubbing his eyes and coughing.. and just looking very uncomfortable..

So we stopped using the computer so much...

Now everyday we text each other.. and have phone conversations at least 2 times a week..
His mother is quite sick.. and he is always taking her to the doctor.. BUT his fingers are NOT broken.. so.. there is not ONE DAY (normally.. ) that we dont say salaams.. and love you.. etc

If a day goes by and I dont hear from him.. I freak out.. and visa versa..
Money is a hard issue.. But the communication.. well theres ALWAYS a way to communicate this day and age!

I'm sorry to say.. but i does sound like a scam

Edited by deemabrouk, 27 June 2007 - 02:11 PM.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-06-27 14:08:00

my cell phone bill for the time i was in egypt is $550 and i have no freakin idea how i'm gonna pay it other than from my tax return.
that's exactly why my cell phone got shut off after I came home from Egypt... my bill was $800 dollars and a egyptian mans salary cant pay it ... GRrrrrrrrrrr!

Oh wow I just looked at your timeline!!! I sure thought that VSC was going along a LOT quicker than THAT!!!!!!! Have they mentioned what the hold up is?
you really think things are THAT behind?? From what I noticed I thought it was Right on schedule I talked to the immigration people and they the I 130 is average 6 months.. and my I 129f seems to be moving along. From most of my friends.. and then people here at VJ .. Immigration can go as slow OR quick as they( the gov) want. My girlfriend (egyptian) married a man from America - from her marriage date it took her 5 MONTHS!! to come into the country.. And then I know another guy(egyptian) who married a american.. it took him almost 2 years from when they were married to come to the states.

I am trying to stay positive.. atleast for my husbands sake.. even thought it is easy to sink into the deepest depression over all of this. The first year of your marriage is suppposed to be your "honeymoon" period.. filled with romance, love, excitment and all the gushy things of newly weds.. And with the Visa process.. It is pushing me to my Edge of Patience, depression, sadness, overeating, being stressed out-of-my-mind. We fight with eachother out of frustration.. and in the end make up.. telling eachother that we are sorry and that we are completely overwhelmed with our situation We tell ourselves that this is just a Test for us to get through.. What doesnt kill you will make you stronger right???

Actually I was looking at your I130timeline and assumed that you filed the I129F at the same time without paying attention. It seems as though they are holding the I130's up until the I129F's get processed and even then the new trend is to retain the I130. The I129 seems to be going well. I've seen many from Vermont have their NOA2 within anywhere from 30 to 60 days, though there are the exceptions so keep your hopes up!!!

And I can totally relate to the fact that this should be the honeymoon lovey dovey time. Hang in there kiddo...this too shall pass. Surah 94 was suggested to me last night and I have vowed to read it everyday until this whole nightmare is over.

I think I Jinxed myself with my I130.. I looked at my timeline.. and it jumped back a month

to the end of Febuary :crying:

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-01-22 21:33:00

what happened to the origional topic of this thread?

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-01-20 11:15:00

my cell phone bill for the time i was in egypt is $550 and i have no freakin idea how i'm gonna pay it other than from my tax return.
that's exactly why my cell phone got shut off after I came home from Egypt... my bill was $800 dollars and a egyptian mans salary cant pay it ... GRrrrrrrrrrr!

Oh wow I just looked at your timeline!!! I sure thought that VSC was going along a LOT quicker than THAT!!!!!!! Have they mentioned what the hold up is?

you really think things are THAT behind?? From what I noticed I thought it was Right on schedule

I talked to the immigration people and they the I 130 is average 6 months.. and my I 129f seems to be moving along. From most of my friends.. and then people here at VJ .. Immigration can go as slow OR quick as they( the gov) want. My girlfriend (egyptian) married a man from America - from her marriage date it took her 5 MONTHS!! to come into the country.. And then I know another guy(egyptian) who married a american.. it took him almost 2 years from when they were married to come to the states.

I am trying to stay positive.. atleast for my husbands sake.. even thought it is easy to sink into the deepest depression over all of this. The first year of your marriage is suppposed to be your "honeymoon" period.. filled with romance, love, excitment and all the gushy things of newly weds.. And with the Visa process.. It is pushing me to my Edge of Patience, depression, sadness, overeating, being stressed out-of-my-mind. We fight with eachother out of frustration.. and in the end make up.. telling eachother that we are sorry and that we are completely overwhelmed with our situation

We tell ourselves that this is just a Test for us to get through.. What doesnt kill you will make you stronger right??? :whistle:

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-01-20 09:14:00

sounds like she could use a bathtub full of chocolate and a wide straw.

OMG that would certainly take some of the edge off right now!!!!!

Hahaa.. yup.. that would do the trick for me

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-01-20 08:53:00

my cell phone bill for the time i was in egypt is $550 and i have no freakin idea how i'm gonna pay it other than from my tax return.

that's exactly why my cell phone got shut off after I came home from Egypt... my bill was $800 dollars

and a egyptian mans salary cant pay it ... GRrrrrrrrrrr!

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-01-19 16:32:00

ME/NA pictures

Giza pyramids.. at the rotary

Billboard in Cairo

Some famousy thing in Alexandria (wedding court house around the corner)

A local water pipe in the "ghetto" part of Cairo.. on the back side of the pyramids

View of Alexandria shore - out the court house window

Lemon Cart.. Ya think I could moved to laundry line???

Montanza - the Kings park (forget the name)

I *heart* the donkey cart's... well maybe just the carts... Half the time I could tell their owners a thing or 2

Beautiful... yup.. I love the carts :thumbs:

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-07-08 19:36:00

Visas In Hand - The List

4 months... 5 months... 6 months... 9 months... 11 months!!!!!!!!!!!!! COme EgYPT !!!!!!!

:cry:

( this is a excellent list.. thank you for your effort WOM.. Just freakin out alil )

Edited by deemabrouk, 25 May 2007 - 02:55 PM.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-05-25 14:54:00

Visas In Hand - The List

It's good to see these approvals... But the AP times.. ? :crying:

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-04-22 19:51:00

haha.. I'm not that good.. YET(inshallah).. my husband gets a kick that i can sing along to all these arabic songs.. but yet not be able to speak it ..

Is it like 16 more days now or something till you go? I decided to book Alitalia once my tax refund gets here hopefully this weekend insha Allah. They're the only one so far that is 1)really cheap ... like about $1,100 total and 2) only a 2 1/2 hour or so layover in Milan. All the other flights this summer have like 8+ hour layovers either on both legs or at least one of them and no way am I doing that again!!! Iberia is having real cheap flights lately too, cheaper than Alitalia but they have a 9 1/2 hour layover each way. Plus Alitalia lands in Cairo at a decent hour, I think around 3pm, which will be good since we'll then take the train to Alexandria.

I bet you're wicked excited!!!

haha.. Wicked ! your SOO from BOston

and your taking them same flight I have took/ taking.. Alitalia 619 right??.. And your other message.. it is a sujood mark.. from men who pray ALOT and they get a "worn" mark on their head from when their head is pressed on the ground.. My husband has one.. Alhamdulillah.. but I am happy it is near his hair line

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-02-09 09:37:00

anyone ever have thermise?? I think I am spelling it right. You put lime and salt on it.
and Um Kalthoum... I love her.. for 5 years I have listened to her music.. Enta omri.. Wallahi it makes me still cry

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-02-08 21:40:00

and this is another of my favorites... (lebanese thought)

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-02-08 21:08:00

anyone ever have thermise?? I think I am spelling it right. You put lime and salt on it.
and Um Kalthoum... I love her.. for 5 years I have listened to her music.. Enta omri.. Wallahi it makes me still cry

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-02-08 20:37:00

I get a BIG cheesy Smile very time I see my husband on the cam and he hasnt shaved... I love it! wicked hot!.. And he too says in Egypt it is hard to have a beard.. inshallah some day..

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-02-07 14:55:00

QUOTE (charlesandnessa @ Oct 18 2007, 06:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (doodlebug @ Oct 18 2007, 06:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (charlesandnessa @ Oct 18 2007, 04:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (tmma @ Oct 18 2007, 03:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It is clear to me that the ladies who also belong to the other board and here have not bashed Badr, but shown concern and honesty .
The only bashing I see is about Heather who sadly cannot defend herself.
Don't you think the story told is alittle unusual?

you can call it honesty if you wish. i see it in another light.
while the story is unusual, who am i - or anyone else - to judge?
that's the job of dos.

You're right Charles. We shouldn't judge. We should just sit back and watch someone who is about to marry a guy who

convinced someone to marry him while only being able to sing to her since neither understood each other's language,
who refused to let his wife leave Morocco once she became ill because it would look bad to immigration
who refused to give his wife good medical care and as a result she died
who, once the wife died, tried to gain access to the US by using the deceased's child
who, once he found out THAT route was a dead end, then formed a relationship with this woman who came to VJ
AND who is under investigation by the FBI relating to the cause of his wife's death.

Totally. Not red flags at all. We should just not give any advice at all.

Let me ask you something though, since you're so concerned about her....are YOU going to do anything when SHE becomes ill after moving to Morocco since he has a snowball's chance in heck of getting a visa? Are YOU going to explain to her parents how you sat back after knowing all this and did nothing when they find out that she is dying due to some unknown cause?

while i applaud your concern, unsolicited concern is often taken by the party involved as someone being a busybody. if she wants help or advice, i'm sure she'll ask for it. so far all i've seen come out of her trying to defend herself is more gas thrown on the fire and more attacks, accusations, and so forth.
if the relationship is fraudulent, i'm sure dos will catch it.

well I see this as a sticky situation.. Since several of the VJ members obviously had a bond with Heather. And I hate to say it.. But it seems this boy got Aimee before heather's body turned cold (sorry to put it like that.. but thats how I see it)

I can see why people are getting upset

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-10-18 19:03:00

QUOTE (sarah and hicham @ Oct 17 2007, 06:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Badrs Love @ Oct 17 2007, 04:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh, I'm in a similar position. Badr and I haven't started the visa process yet. But my family has tried everything to get me to cut off contact with him. They tried scare tactics, they've tired taking my daughter away from me and they even tried contacting my ex-husband to have him take my daughter away. I am an adult and I make the decisions now for my daughter and I. I choose to be with a man that loves me completely and would give his life for me. He's much more of a man than the men I've met in the US. Sorry, hope I didn't offend any men. But you have to follow your heart sometimes and block out the negativity. Hopefully our families will come around when they see how happy our SO's make us.

PS. My parents told my sister to marry her Jordanian boyfriend when they found out that his student visa was expiring. So they got married and he got his Master's. So my family are also hypocrites. They don't see anything wrong with telling her to marry a man but when I find one on my own, it's just not right. Go figure.

That girl that died in Morocco last year- was that your now fiance's fiancee or wife?

AAhhhhh sarah....

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-10-17 19:16:00

I've defintely thought about what if he gets denied. Then I push it out of my head 'cause I don't wanna deal. If it were just me to think of I'd move in a NY minute. Quite frankly if it were just me I'd move anyway and I wouldn't even deal with this crapola at all. I would LOVE life there. Believe it or not I'm not a very materialistic person and after the initial day or two of culture shock I was really loving the simple lifestyle and the focus that I had on Allah, you know? I can't wait to go back not only to see him but to revitalize my faith. I definitely have to focus a LOT more living here to keep myself on the straight and narrow while when I'm there, it's not such a task.

Ditto.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-04-03 17:42:00

I definitely agree....at times I do not feel ''married''....it is alot different than any other experience in my life. And I know it is hard for all of us to see couples actually TOGETHER and to know that even if I have a horrible day and desperately need to talk to my husband, my best friend, that is ALL I can do is TALK to him...there is no physical touch...no hug...no one to wipe my tears. Then to know that some of you guys have been in the ''visa journey'' for triple as long as me...how the ####### do you do it? And what am I complaining about? This is truly the biggest test for me so far in my life and to know that I am not even half way through. OMG!

you took the words out of my mouth

My husband sent me a text today .. saying that he wouldnt even know what to do with himself if after All Of This we were denied.. me too

.. i think it would be the straw that broke the camels back

Edited by deemabrouk, 03 April 2007 - 03:14 PM.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-04-03 15:11:00

I talk to my husband everyday and share and all that good and fun stuff. He knows what I do all day and vice versa. This is not "special". I'm thinking we all pretty much have the same type of relationships. I don't feel "single" yet I don't fully feel married either. Not sure how you can truly feel married if you're living half the world away from someone. Talking on the phone and online and visiting each other a few times a year isn't the same as living together full time. It's not even in the same galaxy as being the same.

Doodle, I understand what you're saying and if you, personally, want to buy him a new bed that he'll use for a year go for it. Wouldn't it be better to take that $100 to buy some new linens or whatever that you guys could use together here? I know it's not about a bed, it's about wanting him to be comfortable. Do you think he stays up nights worrying about if YOU'RE comfortable? I'm doubting that. It's give and take. Until you're living in a "real" marriage then it's every man or woman for him/herself (in my world).

I don't work terribly hard for my money either. I sit on my rear and type all day..in between chit chatting with co workers, smoke and lunch breaks. The point is, you work for your money no matter how hard you work for it. You're still the one going out there every day. Your husband should be doing the same. These aren't children we're married to, they're grown men. Why should we coddle them?

Oh I totally think he should be working, and he is. I'm talking about supplementing him a bit while he is working. He would never not work, that's just not who he is. I just think if I wanna get him some things I should be able to but for some reason because I'm a woman it's like a double standard and not just with you but with him as well.

I know he doesn't stay up nights wondering if I'm comfy 'cause it's obvious that I'm comfy. I make a 6 figure salary and have a very nice house in a very nice neighborhood. He's seen my house and doesn't have any need to worry about me at all. Now, on the other hand, if I were broke and lived in a place that needed this or that, then yes I do believe he would worry about me and be up at nights thinking about it. I really do. I mean even now, knowing the situation I'm in, he is mad that he can't be here to do stupid stuff like fix the front light when it goes out or stain my back porch instead of my having to hire people to do it.

I also don't consider my marriage a paper marriage only, though I do know where you're coming from in that end. Obviously things will be different when he's here since it won't be all "i love you, i miss you, kiss kiss kiss" and all that but at the same time though we are indeed married. I just look at this time as a spiritual togetherness of sorts. We pray with each other, we make dua for each other and we share our most intimate (no not sexual Charles ) thoughts and hopes and fears with complete abandon and we get closer each and every day. Sure it will be quite the different experience when I have to wash his nasty socks, etc. but I still "feel" married.

I agree with you.. and SOOO many times I wish i could just give my Husband a 100 dollars here and there.. But he would die before he would take it from me. My first trip there (flight and the wedding) he spend SOOO much money - most of his savings - to give me the wedding of my dreams and to spoil me rotten. My last trip there I paid for the flight tickets.. But he drained the last of his saving to pay for our Flat, when we rented a car and again to spoil me rotten..

When I was there.. I Loved to prices of clothes and scarfs.. We would buy a skirt for 100 L.E.( about $17american dollars) and I thought that was awesome.. but for my husband.. 100 LE was alot for him The american Life is Quite different to the Life over there..

And I too feel married.. Even though my mornings are not yet waking up next to him.. he still knows what I do/ talk on a daily basis.. We both vent to eachother about things in our day.. Actually he HAS sent me 100 dollars when I was flat out broke.. So i dont know.. Maybe i am just crazy. But this is Not our Grandparents world anymore.. and things have evolved to different levels.

Of course it is NOT the same.. and if anyone who was Married before too knows how different it is once the man is actually in the house...
But I think I am just trying to say the Relationship is real and not just a figment of my imagination. And I am sure everyone on VJ who doesnt have there SO with them yet.. does the Same routine.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-04-03 13:54:00

Doodle, I understand what you're saying and if you, personally, want to buy him a new bed that he'll use for a year go for it. Wouldn't it be better to take that $100 to buy some new linens or whatever that you guys could use together here? I know it's not about a bed, it's about wanting him to be comfortable. Do you think he stays up nights worrying about if YOU'RE comfortable? I'm doubting that. It's give and take. Until you're living in a "real" marriage then it's every man or woman for him/herself (in my world).

I don't work terribly hard for my money either. I sit on my rear and type all day..in between chit chatting with co workers, smoke and lunch breaks. The point is, you work for your money no matter how hard you work for it. You're still the one going out there every day. Your husband should be doing the same. These aren't children we're married to, they're grown men. Why should we coddle them?

Oh I totally think he should be working, and he is. I'm talking about supplementing him a bit while he is working. He would never not work, that's just not who he is. I just think if I wanna get him some things I should be able to but for some reason because I'm a woman it's like a double standard and not just with you but with him as well.

I know he doesn't stay up nights wondering if I'm comfy 'cause it's obvious that I'm comfy. I make a 6 figure salary and have a very nice house in a very nice neighborhood. He's seen my house and doesn't have any need to worry about me at all. Now, on the other hand, if I were broke and lived in a place that needed this or that, then yes I do believe he would worry about me and be up at nights thinking about it. I really do. I mean even now, knowing the situation I'm in, he is mad that he can't be here to do stupid stuff like fix the front light when it goes out or stain my back porch instead of my having to hire people to do it.

I also don't consider my marriage a paper marriage only, though I do know where you're coming from in that end. Obviously things will be different when he's here since it won't be all "i love you, i miss you, kiss kiss kiss" and all that but at the same time though we are indeed married. I just look at this time as a spiritual togetherness of sorts. We pray with each other, we make dua for each other and we share our most intimate (no not sexual Charles ) thoughts and hopes and fears with complete abandon and we get closer each and every day. Sure it will be quite the different experience when I have to wash his nasty socks, etc. but I still "feel" married.

I agree with you.. and SOOO many times I wish i could just give my Husband a 100 dollars here and there.. But he would die before he would take it from me. My first trip there (flight and the wedding) he spend SOOO much money - most of his savings - to give me the wedding of my dreams and to spoil me rotten. My last trip there I paid for the flight tickets.. But he drained the last of his saving to pay for our Flat, when we rented a car and again to spoil me rotten..

When I was there.. I Loved to prices of clothes and scarfs.. We would buy a skirt for 100 L.E.( about $17american dollars) and I thought that was awesome.. but for my husband.. 100 LE was alot for him

The american Life is Quite different to the Life over there..

And I too feel married.. Even though my mornings are not yet waking up next to him.. he still knows what I do/ talk on a daily basis.. We both vent to eachother about things in our day.. Actually he HAS sent me 100 dollars when I was flat out broke.. So i dont know.. Maybe i am just crazy. But this is Not our Grandparents world anymore.. and things have evolved to different levels.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-04-03 13:29:00

I agree too, beautifully stated !

and I agree with the other comment too... My husband would much rather move anywhere but here.. He is hanging on by a thread with this whole visa thing.. I am the one pushing this of now.. cause I want a Nice Nest Egg saved up before I move back to Egypt with him (or another country)

Heee! Yeah, mine never wanted to go to the US and is only going because he can finish his PhD here. he actually was lined up to go to Canada or germany and had scholarships to both! Sigh. Anyway, because I am doing my degree here he decided to come and do his here too. i totally screwed up all of his plans! And now we're really hoping to buy this house in his village and cut out of ehre after the PhDs, so we hope to be gone in about 5 years. My work and his work are both in Jordan, but I need the PhD credentials to co-direct excavations with him and be first or second author in papers. Now if only I could get him to feel the awesomeness in the late Byzantine instead of his Late Roman/Early Byzantine stuff, we'd be perfect

Mine had a really Good job lined up in Kuwait..

He was soo bummed out that I told him i was not ready yet to move over sea's.. Even now a mutual friend could have a job lined up in Italy for him.. BUT my roots are just alittle too firm right now

poor man....

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-04-02 20:55:00

the First being that we did get married relatively soon after we first started talking.. My husband knew about me Months before I knew about him.. My friend thinks she is SUCH the match maker So he(and his family) already felt like he "knew" me before we even started talking.. (pictures and everything!!!) The both of us being 30's.. and knowing we still had a long road ahead of us(visa, inshallah).. And wanted to Keep things as Halal as possible.. We deceided to get married.

I do not want to read too much into your personal story because this may not apply to you at all BUT it reminds me of another red flag. Meeting your fiance/husband through family or friends. This can raise suspicion in the mind of a CO. For most of it it makes so much sense- that two people are introduced by a common friend/relative. who would know beeter that a couple would be a perfect match. It sounds liek it should be proof for a legitimate relationship, but it often can be a double edged sword. It raises the question of the family/friend trying to match a woman for marriage to bring that familymember or friend over to the US.

Actually None of his family wants him to leave.. He especially doesnt want to leave his mom.. But they are happy he found a "Good Muslim Girl" (little do they know... :diablo:

bahahaha... J.K!!)

But isnt that how it is supposed to be done??!! For how many centuries did people get married through friends, family or religious figure ??? Geeze I even know a few people who had arranged marriages..
I would think that would add some validity.. not suspicion..

I hate being under a microscope (not Vj'ers - but the Visa process).. but alhamdulillah for everything :blink:

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-04-02 20:51:00

I would just add that some of these men are quite willing to stick out the marriage even if the intention starts with the desire to get to the US or Europe. Marriage has its own cultural interpretations for ME/NA men that are far different than western expectations. Sometimes the marriages work out and sometimes they don't. It's not as simple as beign duped for a green card. I think too many American woman go into these marriages with MENA men and have HUGE expectations on what love and marriage from a US POV and can find themselves in a situation they couldnt predict when it was all love and romance in the beginning.

Sometimes it can be an asset-- your citizenship I mean. In a marriage that is based on politics and family and religion, what you bring to the table is really a valid thing. You may have citizenship, he may be a pious muslim witha good education who can support you in the right conditions. Whatever. You're right-- there can me many views of what marriage is and why to do it, and also just because citizenship may be on the table doesn't mean he will bail. I was offended the first time my husband said he didn't marry me for love, but for my qualities. He said he did love me, but that he felt love was too weak to base a marriage on, and he needed more. I at first was like what?! Not for love?! but later I thought about it and realized he was 100% right in his thinking. One day i'll be a wrinkley old shrew but I'll probably be the same person inside. He was looking further into the future and into reality. I saw and knew reality, but I still liked the rainbows and unicorns of it all.

Beautifully stated!

Besides I DID marry my husband because of his citizenship- well it was one of many things he brought to the table

I agree too, beautifully stated !

and I agree with the other comment too... My husband would much rather move anywhere but here.. He is hanging on by a thread with this whole visa thing.. I am the one pushing this of now.. cause I want a Nice Nest Egg saved up before I move back to Egypt with him (or another country)

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-04-02 20:26:00

I think before I wrote down 3/4 red flags for me.. but i think it is just 3.

the First being that we did get married relatively soon after we first started talking.. My husband knew about me Months before I knew about him.. My friend thinks she is SUCH the match maker :yes:

So he(and his family) already felt like he "knew" me before we even started talking.. (pictures and everything!!!) The both of us being 30's.. and knowing we still had a long road ahead of us(visa, inshallah).. And wanted to Keep things as Halal as possible.. We deceided to get married.

the Second being that we got married 3 days after I was there.. but Alhamdulillah.. I was sick of always being chaperoned.. We always had a third person there.. even when we were IM'ing/ webcaming.. my H is modern BUT very religious. It wasnt until our wedding nite that we were ever alone.. :joy:

the Third being Long gaps of time from when we see each other..

Given that I have alot of responsibilities here.. Family, Work, bills... etc It is expensive coughing up the dough (even more from his end - due to the economy in Egypt) Getting the time off from my Job... well.. I'm sure everyone here knows the drill..

so thats about it...

In the end.. i still stick to that I married Him for him... not for what the embassy finds desirable.. AND if push comes to Shove.. and the Embassy denies us.. I would move over there. Him coming here would make things easier for ME for now.. But Just being with him is the most important thing

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-04-02 20:20:00

The Forum Interview Cheerleading Thread Vol. 2

I gotta admit.. I am alittle frustrated..

AS ANYONE gotten a Visa in Hand from Egypt in 2007???!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess moody....... but thats it???

the happiness of the interview is slowing Drowning in the AP toilet........

i see all these passed interviews.. and ALOTa AP :crying:

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-05-24 18:13:00

Sultan's Kitchen

I started poking around this web site... looks like some good stuff

http://www.nestle-fa...z...ype&Slno=24

http://www.nestle-fa...gi_cusines.aspx

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-20 11:34:00

Sultan's Kitchen

QUOTE (moody @ Sep 13 2007, 01:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

On the subject of mahshi...Moh's mom and sisters make grape leaf and cabbage mahshi vegetarian style. They roll them really small about the size of a small cigar. I made it with them a few times so I kinda got the hang of rolling them small. The only thing they put in them is short grain rice, diced tomatoes, diced onions, parsley, cilantro, dill, salt and pepper. They make a light tomato sauce with lemon to cook it in. They stack the mahshi in a tall stock pot, cover with the sauce, cover with a large plate (to prevent them from falling apart) and simmer on the stove until cooked.

i wonder if you could use like Veggie Burger crumbles in it....... hmmmmm

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-17 10:50:00