Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
Middle East and North Africa	Faith, privacy and other OT discussions	From what I can see, no one here who **matters** and wants to help you and be an ear for you thinks you are bad---AT ALL. You are normal. What you are going through can happen to any of us, and no one who truly understands life and marriage would ever pass judgment on your choices. And there is nothing wrong with discussing your feelings, not in Islam, not anywhere. thanks..	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-13 11:19:00
Middle East and North Africa	Faith, privacy and other OT discussions	look.. to a certain degree I agree things between a man and a woman are private.... BUT this isnt the 1940'S where a woman has to hide whats going on.. keep it in the closet and honestly only ONE person on here knows me.. other than being on line... SO to a certain extent.. this still is somewhat "private".. no one knows where i live and actually WHo i am.... I was raised "talking" about my issues and feelings... and when everyone else is saying "i told you so" from my "real" life... VJ is the ONLY place where people knows where i am coming from.. long distance.. marring from another culture.. Bringing someone into the country.. and the stress of dealing with ADjusting to new things coming into the country/ spouse in the house So maybe some think I am a Bad Woman cause I have been posting about this.... Whatever.... you still only know me from your computer screen...... Edited by deemabrouk, 13 August 2007 - 11:08 AM.	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-13 11:08:00
Middle East and North Africa	Monday...BLEH	Oh Doodle I hear you! Was she the one who could constantly interrupt you before you even finished your sentence and had a funny accent that kind of made her sound like Madame Cleo? I gave up calling DOS after I got her twice. I don't know who Madame Cleo is but yes she did interrupt me which ticked me off even MORE!!!!! I think they read from a script. All I wanna know is if someone is waiting on us for something!!! They told him to submit two pictures on top of the ones in packet3. He went to the embassy to give them and there was no one there that could simply put it in his folder. He was told to go back on a certain day, which he did and then was told to go online and make an appt to bring them. #######???? At that point we gave up since there's no where online to make such an appt so I emailed them last monday to ask how to make this mysterious appt online or if it would be ok to just DHL them with our case number and photos included and no one has answered my frikkin email. I just wanna know where my case stands. If we are stuck in security checks for months then so be it but I just wanna know where we are. If we are sitting in a desk awaiting the photos that we have attempted twice to deliver then let me know, you know????? Where's that one with the chick pulling the hair out??? I need it!!!! #######!!!!????!!!!! I KNOW this has got to be maddening! I have such a hard time understanding why the "Immigration System" is not on one large database that everyone logs into...assign "catergories" so that when you punch in the case number, you can see exactly at what point the file is at. Don't get me started on what an inept system this whole process is! I'm sorry Doodle! Hang in there. How about this one..... Nope I need the one with the girl pulling the hair out. I'll search Dee's posts 'cause I know she had it. lol. Well I feel silly complaining because it's only been 2 weeks but the point isn't the wait...I'm prepared mentally to not see him until Feb if that is what happens but what I guess I didnt' prepare myself for is not knowing where our little folder is. If it's waiting in line then it can do so patiently. I just wanna know if it even is headed to a line or if some numbskull is sitting on it waiting for the photos before they send it to DOS and meanwhile my husband has been there twice trying to give them to him. If we have wasted these two precious weeks because they're waiting on the photos I'm gonna blow a gasket I tell ya!!!!!!! Plus I've been more active in my fertility message boards so now I have baby making on the brain and I wanna start making a baby already!!!!!! I mean I'm 41 soon to be 42 so I think I only have one or two more baby making years left in me for cryin out loud!!!! I think you mean this one??? but this one is still my fav	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-13 11:23:00
Middle East and North Africa	Going to the Dentist	invest in a Sonicare !!! excellent in gum issues	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-14 11:13:00
Middle East and North Africa	happy hump day	Everytime I look at this thread I get that hump song in my head. I forget the words but I keep hearing " my hump, my hump...." in my mind. lol ....look to the left....my humps, my humps, my humps!!!!.... my lovely lady lumps... I met a girl down at the disco.. she said Hey hey hey hey lets go...	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-15 13:52:00
Middle East and North Africa	TuuTuesdayy	QUOTE (deemabrouk @ Aug 21 2007, 04:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> mmmmmm... I could use a nice big fatty right about now and a caramel latte from Petes...... and a million bucks... but I dont think I am gonna get any of these	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-21 15:19:00
Middle East and North Africa	TuuTuesdayy	mmmmmm... I could use a nice big fatty right about now and a caramel latte from Petes......	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-21 15:06:00
Middle East and North Africa	U.S. Official Denying Entry	i've heard of this happening.. some people I know wont bother to leave or visit home until they have citizenship... or their 10 year green card	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-21 10:32:00
Middle East and North Africa	WTF Wednesday!	QUOTE (wife_of_mahmoud @ Aug 22 2007, 11:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> haha.. spaceballs...... luv'd that movie whered ya get the clip? Edited by deemabrouk, 22 August 2007 - 10:04 AM.	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-22 10:04:00
Middle East and North Africa	WTF Wednesday!	i wanna go back to bed ........ my old dog used to get sprayed by skunks... it sucked..... i wanna remember something about vinegar???? some one told me once to try feminine wash.. i think i even tried it on her... dont remember tho Edited by deemabrouk, 22 August 2007 - 10:00 AM.	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-22 09:57:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	Has anyone heard from Dee? she pm'd me this morning. Probably just busy with work stuff. honestly I'm getting sick of MYSELF with all of this!!!!!!! i am annoying myself..... if that makes any sense	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-15 13:44:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	His behaviour IS acceptable to some degree where he comes from and its certainly possible he really DOES NOT think he is doing anything wrong. I have to totally disagree with this. He knows very well what he is doing. And he knows it's wrong. honestly at this point i agree with sara... I really dont think he "gets it" people have asked him.. Did you hit her.. and he says No.. but I honestly think HE thinks that is truthful.. maybe cause he is not punching or just slapping the ####### out of me.. that everything else is different.. I have a question I hope it's not taken as grilling but it's something I was just wondering about. I know when our SO's are far away and we can only talk to them online/phone we may not discuss every topic in the world, but did you ever discuss the issue of abuse in relationships before with him before he came? Or how husbands should treat their wives? I'm just asking because I was wondering if he said he was against abuse and was in support of treating his wife very nicely but then flip flopped on it, or if he never stated how he felt about it in any of your talks. It's seems like it's definitely something that should come up in talks when you are marrying someone from a very different culture, so you probably did, but still I was wondering. And if anyone hasn't discussed this topic with their SO, they definitely should (no matter what culture they are from, ya just never know sometimes!). yup it has been talked about... cause that is why i left my Ex.. the father of my kids... He always said it was wrong or Haraam for a man to hit his wife... i guess he changed his mind	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-14 15:25:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	How about all of us MENA chicks get on our dark clothing and ski masks and head up your way with a car load of baseball bats? If he won't leave peacefully...we'll "suggest" that he does! ??????	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-14 15:10:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	over the weekend one of the Imams (the american one) WAS supposed to help escort him out... but the Imam stopped returning me and my families phone calls I am just disappointed.. let down there are no men in the family... all are dead or could care less and my mom would LOVE to but I would never want her in harms way... plus she has her own rage issues.. and things could get ugly the Moroccian woman "friends" that interviened this weekend I doubt would help me actually get him out I am gonna try and get us to have a Sit down with the Egyptian Imam... but I dont know to what extent that will help.. and my aunt is on the fence.. I almost feel she is taking his side. I feel screwed from all around	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-14 14:58:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	His behaviour IS acceptable to some degree where he comes from and its certainly possible he really DOES NOT think he is doing anything wrong. I have to totally disagree with this. He knows very well what he is doing. And he knows it's wrong. honestly at this point i agree with sara... I really dont think he "gets it" people have asked him.. Did you hit her.. and he says No.. but I honestly think HE thinks that is truthful.. maybe cause he is not punching or just slapping the ####### out of me.. that everything else is different.. Hmmmm.......well again I am not familiar (thank God) with this type of abuse BUT..........in my own personal experience with a different type of abuse that I endured in my youth, the only way I could actually live with it and still keep a relationship with the person is to convince myself that he does not know that he is doing this. That may or may not be true in my case, i.e. he may have multiple personalities, and to be quite honest I won't even go there in my mind to figure it all out until he dies because I don't have the strength to, but I have to say I'm leaning towards this being a total survival mechanism on my part....................and I have to think it's the same for you. You are living with him so how on earth could you do that without freaking out in total panic 24/7 unless you tell yourself that he doesn't really "get it" and thereby the excuse is made for him, he's off the hook and you see him as "sick" instead of "bad". Bottom line, sick or bad, the result is that you're living a life of hell and if he is indeed sick, unless he is willing to go seek professional (as in a doctor, not an imam) help, it's still going to be hell. When you married him you married a totally different person. That person doesn't seem to exist anymore so you are totally in your rights to leave if need be. Like I said before in pm, although it's harder to do this when he's not being physical,...maybe it's best to let him go while things are quiet so that you can detach with love still. this would be my best wish for our ending... but how to make that happen??? where's the chloroform???????? Edited by deemabrouk, 14 August 2007 - 02:28 PM.	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-14 14:27:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	His behaviour IS acceptable to some degree where he comes from and its certainly possible he really DOES NOT think he is doing anything wrong. I have to totally disagree with this. He knows very well what he is doing. And he knows it's wrong. honestly at this point i agree with sara... I really dont think he "gets it" people have asked him.. Did you hit her.. and he says No.. but I honestly think HE thinks that is truthful.. maybe cause he is not punching or just slapping the ####### out of me.. that everything else is different..	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-14 14:11:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	you guys are ALL RIGHT... I feel torn cause he doesnt want to leave.. and I dont want to ruin his life by calling the police.. Now that he has a second chance he should be putting his BEST FOOT Forward.. and he's not.. This 100% SUCKS.... the bandaid is getting ripped off at a snails pace Edited by deemabrouk, 14 August 2007 - 10:04 AM.	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-14 10:03:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	this woe-is-me-attitude is REALLY upsetting me. It is making me even more short in patience. And he gets to "prove his point" about my attitude problem.. cause technically he isnt "doing anything"	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-14 09:25:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	he still doesnt think he did any wrong.... STILL i talked to him on the phone on the way home from work... He's just saying Sorry... but still not getting that he did something wrong.... He walks around with a puss on.. acting like a beat dog... i'm really frustrated	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-14 09:05:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	PLus I dont even know if that means his papers are actually cancelled.. or if I'm just gonna get a notice my checks "bounced"?? they should simply return your entire package to you. yikes	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-13 13:40:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	Wow. Dee I really want to be supportive of you so please don't take this the wrong way. What happens after one week? So he is on his best behaivior for one week because his friends convinced him that you are gonna kick his butt back to Egypt? Then what? What can he possibly prove in that short period of time? I've been in an abusive relationship and abusive men don't change, at least not without years of therapy. It makes me sick to my stomach that those so called "friends" would convince you to go back into a home with someone who has been abusive to you. From reading your posts you don't even seem to be on board with the idea or that you even want to be there. Love is one thing and you can love him and you probebly always will, but if he is hurting you, emotionally, mentally, physically, that is not love. I know everyone here is trying to support your decision, but I am going to support your original decision to leave because honestly I am worried for you and your children. JP I agree completely with you. Things are probably not going to change, and his friends just don't want him to leave the US. They seem to have some pretty selfish intentions. well honestly these were MY FRIENDS... they had never met him before!!!!!!!! and I guess they did it for me?? for Hasana (blessings) ?? they didnt want what i worked so hard for.. for the past year to end within a month.. BUT i also yelled at them.. IF they were TRUELY my friends.. they would NOT encourage me to stay with someone abusive!!!!!! my other "friend" who introduced us lives far away... and believe me.. it's done between us after that email I got from her	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-13 13:32:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	Dee, does he know you cancelled the AOS checks? That might be a good way to test the waters, tell him you don't plan of reapplying for some time. nope I didnt tell him that... and I feel for the moment that wouldnt be the best idea that def. would be a trigger.. I know half his problem is NOT working.. and if he knew I fudged that up.. he would not be a happy camper. PLus I dont even know if that means his papers are actually cancelled.. or if I'm just gonna get a notice my checks "bounced"??	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-13 13:21:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	I want to say, personally, I don't agree with the decision to go back home with him. I really think Dee was manipulated into this choice---not because she is easily manipulated but because she had a hoard of "friends" on her back. My support lies in my open ear and willingness to help how I can, as I PMed and have passed the message on to others, if you need financial help to get his plane ticket or help with any salary loss, I, and many others, want to give that help. Dee, I agree with JP on this one. I hope you don't feel like you MUST do this. I also think, no matter how feisty your aunt is, there is really only so much you can do when a bunch of strangers show up at your house and insist they've changed a man. I think she was put in a really hard situation, and probably would be damned any way she chose to answer the group. However, now that the dust has settled and you are going over your feelings, please be true to yourself and your kids. And I hope you understand that my disagreement isn't meant as a judgment or a snipe at you, it's just what I see from the outside looking at this, and I don't see any positivity in it. nope... I see what you mean. And I agree. I have alot of feelings that told me NOT to do it.. BUT in the end.. I'm still not 100% why.. BUT i gave him one more shot... the LAST.. I guess I have that voice in the back of my head... "You didnt marry him for nothing.. Maybe the light bulb FINALLY went off... Bla Bla Bla.. " At this point he has NO excuses.. he didnt understand.. no language issue.. not understanding the culture.. His A$$ was offically pushed out the nest and he got on the Buses, T's and cabs.. Spoke to the Egyptian Imam... Spoke to strangers for help.. everything he refused to do before but what gets me.. is that he waited until our marrige COMPLETELY fell apart in order to get is butt in gear and this has left me resentful... who knows what will happen.. I DO wish the best for us.. but also the best for us may not mean we are together (and no way could I accept financial help from people... I dont deserve it..) Edited by deemabrouk, 13 August 2007 - 01:16 PM.	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-13 13:14:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	it's hard.. cause at this point I think I'm done.... but I DO love him... I DID marry him with the intentions of Forever... BUT i will NOT live my life like this.. His apology to my aunt did mean alot to me... Especially most "abuser's" would never "go there".. It will be interesting to see when my mom comes around.. Cause he owes her a apology/ promise to her too.... And she will rip him a "new one" I dont know... slightly... Divorce IS made Halal in Islam.. Of course no one really wants it.. BUT you cant cast stones on something that is made Halal... !!!!!!! and for the sake of Allah swt.. no one is suppose to live in a abusive life !	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-13 11:17:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	they all got in their car and followed me to my aunts house (mom would of stabbed him.. plus she is away) SO Mohamed apologised to Her over what had happened... and my friends too tried to convice her and me again to give him one last chance... then they PERSONALLY would escort him out the house and drive him to the airport.. IN the end my Aunt accepted the apology.. and the terms to the next week. We all were there until 10 pm talking about this.. He left without me.. I returned home yesterday after noon...... Under STRICT terms i still dont know how i feel about this.... i dont have a positive outlook but given what had happened...... and especially my families approval..... i dont know..... who knows	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-13 10:41:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	well I do NOT mean to have a soap opera thread "called "The Road to Divorce", starring Deemabrouk and her husband".. I am not trying to dramatize my reality.. BUt to only make OTHERS see it is NOT peaches and cream.... Like I stated before - After I post my situation i got a HANDFUL of woman confiding that they are dealing with this too OR they fear this is their future... PLUS this site is the ONLY place where I have some sort of understanding of a long distance/ oversea's / visa journey.. No one else in my life seems to understand this... And out of all of this I seem to be gettin the "I told you so!" mentality from my friends and family cause I married a arab/ long distance guy.. VJ is my only outet for that. Over the weekend my "saga" has taken another turn too... This is competely nuts.. Saturday my Muslim/ arab friends decided to do an "intervention" with me - Which completely pissed me off.. I dont think our friendship will be the same. I while back they decided to have a bar-b-q for Mohamed - have all the wifes/ husbands get together.. Well the poop hit the fan.. I left (like you guys know) I called my friend Sat. morning to let her know we were NOT coming.. to Only be told she had already spoke to him.. and had talked to him for 2/3 HOURS!!!!!! And from what she gathered.. I was the one at fault!!!! I freaked out.. Told her MY side.. then she started singing a different tune.. In the end she Still told me to come by with the kids.. her kids were waiting for us.. the food ETC... I ONLY AGREED IF HE WAS NOT GOING TO BE THERE i get there and realise something is UP.. the looks on their face... I knew something was gonna happen... my friend said she had to pick up her husband at the T station and would be back and I stated again IF HE IS COMING HERE I AM LEAVING... THIS IS NOT A JOKE.... she AGAIN reassured me she was getting her husband.. and at this point my kids had ran off to be with the other kids.. this was a LIE!!!! I was in the house.. still wary.. and I hear his voice coming into the house!!!!!! I was SOOOOOOOO angry.. i was screaming for my kids.. demanding to Leave.. I FREAKED OUT!!!!!!!! they told me they are convinced he "gets it" now... They talked to him and told him all the ####### he was doing was WRONG.. Apparently he left the house on Friday and found his way to the Cambridge Mosque which had the Egyptian Imam... (i set up a time a week or so ago for him to talk to him... but he refused to meet him.. he sat in the car) I guess mohamed thought I was going to be at Jumma?? But anyways... I guess he even sat down with the Imam after the "sermon" for a hour or so... Also getting "schooled" that his behavior was Completely Inappropriate!!! and this stuff in America with a American Muslim wife just doesnt fly!!!!! So at this point my "Friends" wanted to give him a opportunity to apologise.. Kiss my feet even They BEGGED me to give him ONE MORE WEEK.. I explained he had his "one week" after the talk with the First Imam.. but they said this is different cause he then got school by the woman in Arabic... and then the Egyptian Imam.. I swear I freaked out and cried.. for a hour cornered in one of the bedrooms.. I kept on telling him.. he needs to go home.. its not working... He needs a Egyptian wife.. and NOT someone like me!!!!!!!!!! I told him to After "all those woman he passed up to marry me!" My friends and him continued to beg me for ONE MORE week trial.. and that then.. if ANYTHING happened.. One argument.. One bad word.. One threat.. ANYTHING.. he WILL go back home After several hours of this.. I agreed that he could have ONE more week.. BUT he had to APOLOGISE and convince my family too.. over this behavior.. and eveything he did CAUSE now my family knows and are involved!!!! AND IF he can convice my family.. apologise to them and etc.. and THEY too agree.. He gets ONE LAST CHANCE!!!!!!!	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-13 10:28:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	Dee, out of curiousity, how do you think his family will react to this? Did you have a good relationship with them? my arabic is NOT good enough to relay all of this .. plus he made me erase all of their #'s out of my phone during one of our last fights	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-10 14:24:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	Dee, that woman is not your friend. She is blaming you? If a good muslim man is the kind your husband is, your friend can have him. And by the way, why was your MARRIED HUSBAND talking to a woman friend? What kind of good muslim is that? And what kind of muslim is she that she accepts that kind of mixed-gender friendship with the husband of her friend? The two of them are demented and deserve each other. Indeed!! I'm glad you had the strength and presence of mind to get out while the getting was good, and to protect your kids. And you still found the time to keep us informed about you. Wow, What a wild ride you have had. I am so sorry that this has turned out so badly for you. I wish you the best and happier future ahead. PS: You are going to cancel AOS aren't you?? I would imagine it's not the priority, but I sure hope he's not getting a green card out of this. well now I am sitting in my families house... not sure what to do with myself... I left in my pajama's.. thats all i have with me.. And I went to the bank and cancelled the checks for AOS/ EAD... I'll give him the $ back OR apply it to a airplane ticket.. I'll worry about actually contacting them in a few days.......	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-10 13:56:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	I've seen more than my share of crazy muslim converts who are at best an embarrasment. This "friend" ...i'vve met many like her....shame on her. Dee- everything is going to feel so personal and so raw for a while.... No one knows what happens berween a husband and wife enough to understand completely why things happen, and no one can throw judgment around. Surround yourself with people who car supportive and comforting, not those who want to get in your business. well shes a "born" muslim from Egypt... she has known him for years... I've known her for 3/4 years I just I am shock that one of my "gurls" had took the mans side to an abusive thing........ this sucks	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-10 13:49:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	to add more salt to the wound... I just read this from my "friend" on myspace... the one that introduced us.. Yesterday I deleted her profile from my page after I found out she was showing my private page to my husband - trying to start sh*t.. She left this for me today...... "it is just kinda shocked for me coz i wasnot imagine how stupied i am to think that there is a tru friends this days but that is okey we live and learn and i will not give any one another chance if somebody hurt me that will be the end . i hope u a happy life and if u want my real advice try to be a good wife and thx Allah for what he gave u and try to change ur way coz ALLAH testing us every day and he give us to see if we..ll thx him by beeing good with what he gave . Mohamed is not this bad he is a good muslem man and in the past i thought that is all what u need but ALLAH is the one who knows what is in the people..s heart and it seems to me now that u wasnot looking for a good muslem as much as u was looking for temporary pain killer for ur life ,i am telling u as sister in Islam if u lost mohamed u..ll never ever find another good guy to take care or handle u or ur kids ALLAH knows what in my heart and inshallah he..ll rewared me.and stop listen to ur friends coz they will destroy ur life ,if u..ll not make some effort to be good wife to ur husband and treat him good and instadd of worry about the halal meat u should worry about ur praying. Plz DEE do not contact me any more i donot wanna hear any thing about u i believe ***** now when he told me one time that "There is No freinds any more"	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-10 13:26:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	i cant believe this is my life.......	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-10 12:55:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	well.. last night took a turn for the worst. The fight about being a "Lesbian" exploded again @ 11 pm? Apparently when looking through my stuff he found a picture of me and one of my best friends of 13 years... This was before I convered.. hair out.. etc. Well The picture has me puckering(mouth closed) a kiss at her cheek and her mouth is open.. showing teeth.. a piece of tongue.. piercings and everything near mine (no tongue OR lip action )....... BUT apparently this picture "proves" I am a lesbian...... That she is inlove with me... etc He told me he found a picture that proved everything... And i racked my brain of what God awful picture i took in my crazy days... but HONESTLY i couldnt think of ANY pic like that... When he should me the pic I had to laugh.. It was Completely NUTS that..... It escalated into Finding out that our Mutual friend has also been feeding him BS.. telling him I am still talking to 2 american muslim men online in myspace.. and a BUNCH of other ####### (my friendship to her is now OVER) Around 2:30 am things got physical... and I IMMEDIATLY decided that was the LAST time that was going to be done to me.. the fighting, name calling etc continued until 6 am... (during this time I stood frozen.. staring at the same white dot on a black checkered square in my kitchen) He fell asleep.. I quietly got my kids up, dressed and snuck out the house..... Now I am staying somewhere until he is gone........ Last night was it... It is over.. No more	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-10 12:48:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	havent checked in ten years......... edit... and nope	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-09 13:06:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	fighting again....... now i'm a lesbian... but yet having sex with other men..... he went through MORE of my old boxes in my closets...... boxes i have checked in 10 years he found a forgien language book that had lesbian terms.... not for nothing it was 10 years old.. and it had 5 languages in it	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-09 12:59:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	i dont know..... even if he DOES come around... i dont know if I can change.. he says I am like a stone now.. or my blood is ice..... Maybe it is.	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-09 11:59:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	doodle is right.. I'm only logging on from work.. but I am getting wary of even posting on here.. Apparetly he is "checking up" on me.. and some how saw my myspace page that has been private??? (and no.. as far as i know he has No account on there) he also is going through my things at home. Which I am not too happy with every phone call he demands to know who it is....... Even IM's// I've stopped opening them.. cause he then HAS to read what and who i am typing too we are still fighting every night.... but No HUGE blow outs yet honestly.. i feel so distant from him.. I'd rather not talk to him.. just be in silence.... even hearing him breath seems to annoy me.. i dont even want him to touch my hand I'm angry, bitter resentful..... he's on my sh*t list now Edited by deemabrouk, 09 August 2007 - 11:32 AM.	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-09 11:29:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	Alhamdulilah, I'm glad the imam was helpful for you all and that he laid it out for your husband that he needs to improve. You're very lucky to find someone like that. inshaAllah your husband will benefit greatly from the meetings and improve, or else you know that you've done everything you can and should have no regrets about shipping him off Maybe bring the book with you to your next counseling session and see if the imam is familiar with it. There are several chapters that would provide an excellent basis for a counseling session - discussing what is written and seeing how each partner understands and wants to impliment the advice. You're in my thoughts and prayers. I hope things improve for you and your kiddos. Would it be possible for them to stay with your mom for awhile? haha.. and I wish i could have them stay somewhere.. but that isnt a option.. plus.. if I was alone with him??!!	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-08 10:59:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	Yay! It's good to see that you were backed up! Did he seem to want to absorb anything coming from the imam? yes and no.. but he was very quick to point out the tone in my voice this morning when he asked if I was coming home for lunch.. " ah.. NO!? i lost two days of work.. my boss is very upset at me there is NO way i can take a lunch" *sigh*	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-08 10:41:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	Grrrrr... I just wrote this huge long thing and it got erased oh well.. i"ll start again I again I was moved by opening up VJ to see 11 pm's from the members honestly... It really touches me Yesterday We were at the Imams office for 5 hours!!!!!!! It was nice because he told him he was WRONG in several issues. It was also nice that the Imam told my husband I am normal (he seems to think "no other woman/ wife acts the way I do" ) BUT he was then told I do act like anyother woman / wife... and the same goes for the kids... (he says the same thing about them too) The Imam said that it IS his intention to try and keep this relationship together.. but after hearing everything.. he said we were on Paper thin grounds.. He said he gives us One Week for ANY sign of improvement... He wants us to go back every week.. it was left that my husband needs to make Multiple improvements and I need to have more patience during this - trying not to get a tone in my voice when I have to deal with him what else did I write........ my family has started expressing their concern for me and the kids... My mom got me on the phone saying she knows something is up... and this is not good.. almost begging for me to send him back to egypt.. My oldest son later that day I guess told her about mommies crying and the fights/ yelling I swear.. this talk from my kids breaks my heart A VJ friend referred me to this book... which arrived to me next day http://www.astrolabe...amic_Guide.html it is a great book good read... It helped me with alot of issues I was having conflicting to Islam and the position of a wife... all these things I did already KNOW.. but now were made doubtful due to the stuff my husband was saying. he also seems to skim though to find what HE wants to point out... WITHOUT reading the full paragraph.. which then further explains What HE is supposed to do!!!!!!!! but anyways.. I referr it to anyone who is interested... Even the NON muslims.. it helps explain the mind/ view point of a Muslim Husband	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-08 10:30:00
Middle East and North Africa	I gotta say Thanks to you all	I have to say thanks to all of you MENA/ VJ'er.. I got a huge amount of PM's showing me support.. Thank you SOO MUCH for the support.. and the offer of a "shoulder" I actually was surprised at the amount of people who say they are dealing with the same thing I never really thought this would be life life once he got here Nothing has gotten better.. maybe i guess worse. I'm on the verge of loosing my job.. I couldnt even go in today.. and I am calling out tomorrow too.. I finally cornered him to speak to a religious leader (imam).. and my out look towards our future in Not a good one... but God knows.. I DO love him... but I will NOT tolerate living how I have had to live these past 3 weeks I got a few comments that I should be grateful that atleast my man is here... And believe me.. I was Very thankful things went as quickly as they did... BUT abusive behavior.. mental, emotional and physical will NOT be tolerated.. even if this is supposed to be an "adjusting period" of our life together/ getting used to living in america... ESPECIALLY infront of my VERY impressionable 5 and 6 year old boys....... my home is NOT supposed to be a war ground.. but my santuary. for all of those who confided in me about what they are dealing with now... or what they feel might happen in the future.. Please think with your head and not your heart.. IF he is NOT even hear yet and MY story makes me nervous that this is your future... think LONG and hard BEFORE he comes into the country.. ESPECIALLY if you have kids... anyways... thanks everybody	deemabrouk	Female	Egypt	2007-08-06 19:19:00