biggish data

QUOTE (amira_ordonia @ Aug 29 2007, 01:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (sarah and hicham @ Aug 29 2007, 10:51 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (deemabrouk @ Aug 29 2007, 10:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (sarah and hicham @ Aug 29 2007, 01:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (deemabrouk @ Aug 29 2007, 10:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Grrr.. now I found out the EAD check that WASNT supposed to cleared.. but DID.. put my account in a negative balance..

and i got myself all excited for lunch today

now I am counting coins out of my bag and car to buy the 99 cent Peggy Lawton cookies at Walgreens

wheres the bath tub and toaster when you need it

You really should cancel the EAD like you said you had done. It's the bank's fault, not yours so you should let them deal with it and cancel your AOS checks.

I hope you can have it done!

Apparently the bank lady DID enter in the right check # for the AOS.. so that payment DID stop

And it's too late for EAD? They can't do anything? I'm sure you can call USCIS.

I thought you had to file all those cases together? Will they just send them all back since the check for AOS didn't clear? Can you even file for EAD without having a pending AOS case?

they were filed together.. but still two different paper works.. two different checks..

At this point.. i could care less if he applies for work papers... But I'm still not ready to continue with the AOS...

From what the USCIS told me 2 things can happen... they will accept the paperwork.. and mail me a paper requesting payment OR they will return the case to us and tell us to start all over again...

So I guess I am waiting to see what is going to happen... with my life/ husband AND the paperwork

QUOTE (yassmine2878 @ Aug 29 2007, 02:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (deemabrouk @ Aug 29 2007, 12:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (allousa @ Aug 29 2007, 01:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh Deema - that is such BS!!! If they caused your account balance to go into deficit, then they should NOT charge you ANY overdraft fees! What #######!!!!!!!!!! I would DEFINITELY call custome service and chew somebody's azz!!!!

Honestly my bank SUCKS...

I had a situation happen a few months... when the put a hold on a check.. which they didnt need to do.. then it set off this domino of payments bouncing.. I had SOOO many fee's over a hundred bucks... I went in to question about all of it.. they told me I "only" had to pay 1/2 the fee's.. I was SOOO Bull Sh*t.. and I told them.. NOTHING would of bounce if you didnt do XYZ!!! they just shrugged their shoulders and were like sorry.......

Which bank do you have? This sounds suspiciously like some ####### that was pulled on me not too long ago. I stuffed $400 in the bank, they backed it right back out, all my checks and autodrafts bounced, $33 a pop for each overdraft, etc. And worst of all my direct deposit was going in and dissapear to cover up the massive hole they created so I had no paycheck to live on! By the time I closed the account it was almost a grand in the red and all they would say is "You owe us money, we didnt do anything wrong"

*Sigh* I feel your pain honey. Banks are in the same devil league with USCIS, IMHO.

LOL

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-08-29 13:16:00

QUOTE (sarah and hicham @ Aug 29 2007, 01:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (deemabrouk @ Aug 29 2007, 10:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Grrr.. now I found out the EAD check that WASNT supposed to cleared.. but DID.. put my account in a negative balance..

and i got myself all excited for lunch today

now I am counting coins out of my bag and car to buy the 99 cent Peggy Lawton cookies at Walgreens

wheres the bath tub and toaster when you need it

You really should cancel the EAD like you said you had done. It's the bank's fault, not yours so you should let them deal with it and cancel your AOS checks.

I hope you can have it done!

Apparently the bank lady DID enter in the right check # for the AOS.. so that payment DID stop

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-08-29 12:48:00

QUOTE (allousa @ Aug 29 2007, 01:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-08-29 12:40:00

QUOTE (allousa @ Aug 29 2007, 01:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (OlivianWaleed @ Aug 29 2007, 12:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (jmagayreh @ Aug 29 2007, 09:33 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Did I hear my name? I am here. I read daily, but don't post much.

Depression has set in, extreme and intense, and I don't know how to fix me. I am messing up so bad at work, I missed a measure! I have NEVER missed an appointment, in 13 years. I forget to eat, for days. I have bought groceries once in 7 weeks. When driving, I forget what I am doing and where I am going. I do think I am losing my mind sometimes.

No pity party, just wanted to give you the Jackie update.

Ugh depression I know it so well. It's good you recognize it which is the first step. Second it sounds like it is affecting you daily life which is the middle grade depression. Before you get to the third and severe grade go to the doctor asap and asking for a medicine to lift your mood so you don't find yourself sliding down the slippery slow into suicidal ideation.

Also other ways to combat it is practice healthy eatting, light exercise like long walks, and up your social meter by picking up the thousand pound telephone and calling friends and family for chats.

I hope you feel better soon sweetie.

I agree 100%!!! There's nothing wrong with getting a little help to get through a rough patch.

QUOTE (deemabrouk @ Aug 29 2007, 01:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Grrr.. now I found out the EAD check that WASNT supposed to cleared.. but DID.. put my account in a negative balance..

and i got myself all excited for lunch today

now I am counting coins out of my bag and car to buy the 99 cent Peggy Lawton cookies at Walgreens

wheres the bath tub and toaster when you need it

Deema - do you have any documentation or a name of the person that you gave the information to that was supposed to cancel the checks? Since the bank entered the wrong information, it is there fault and they need to fix it! They need to at the least, give you the money of the checks that were supposed to be cancelled.

the bank said they would reimburse me the $25 fee to cancel the checks... BUT now that my account went negative.. that ANOTHER $25 dollars!!!!!!!!!!!

I F'ing hate life

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-08-29 12:20:00

Grrr.. now I found out the EAD check that WASNT supposed to cleared.. but DID.. put my account in a negative balance..

and i got myself all excited for lunch today

now I am counting coins out of my bag and car to buy the 99 cent Peggy Lawton cookies at Walgreens

wheres the bath tub and toaster when you need it

Edited by deemabrouk, 29 August 2007 - 12:02 PM.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-08-29 12:00:00

)

http://www.desertsto...SA-aba-37b.html

http://www.muslimbas...ibokbe5mr7lsru4

http://www.simplyisl....asp?item=57835

Wednesday.. Hmmmmmmm....

I dont know what I want for lunch.......

i really really really wanna go shopping... but I cant!! Grrr...

whenever I get stressed / depressed I love to shop to ease the pain

Today is my husbands birthday... He got this Divine Intervention Birthday Gift.. I put a stop payment on his EAD and AOS checks... AND some how the Bank Messed up.. put in the Wrong Check # for the stop payment on his EAD.. SO his work papers went through... At this point I dont care about the work papers.. SO good for him!

Heres a few of the goodies I want (for those of you that want to kill time... ).... Maybe once I get a new job... OR money starts growing on trees..

http://www.shukronline.com/wp503.html

http://www.shukronline.com/wp501.html

(for some reason I'm all about the big baggy, raver pants

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-08-29 10:48:00

Packet 3 info

mine never received his packet 3.. even though they SAID they mailed it... he got his medical, bank reciept and other info together and mailed it in ANYWAYS .. He got the packet 4 for the interview with no problems

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-03 11:40:00

It's Monday, but feels like Sunday!

QUOTE (Maggie724 @ Sep 3 2007, 01:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Lasagne and brownies...yummy. You should NOT be at work today Dee. You should be somewhere enjoying the sunshine.

Jackie: Sounds like you had a fun time. Glad you are getting out and trying to enjoy life. How was the hot tub last weekend?

Doodle: Call staples and tell them you have a new scenario for their dad clicking heels ad!

Amerlu: Good luck with your new job.

Water: Glad the dog is better.

Jasman: Did you do anything fun for your 4 day weekend?

We made pizza last night. Omar made the dough and it was his best yet. He's getting better with the bread too. It's never been bad, but it's getting softer on the inside which I love. :blink:Tomorrow the blind installers are coming to finish installing the blinds in our house. I will be so happy to take the bedsheet down from my window!!

i WISH i was walking around in the sun!!!! yesterday Mohamed and i actually got along.. so I would of been nice doing something today... well.. maybe it IS for the better I am at work... Space is a good thing sometimes

I'm sure I'll have to go somewhere when I leave work... the kids and Mohamed have been home all day

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-03 15:30:00

It's Monday, but feels like Sunday!

I'm stuck at work... i think we are the only business open to day...
But on the good side at least I get the internet... The house internet is shut off for now

thanks to Amal... I am dying for some good ice cream... (thanks Amal

)

other than that.. I took a "happy pill" last night.. and for some weird reason I think it is kicking in this morning.. Maybe too much lasagna and brownies floating around in my belly for proper digestion... hmm... Oh well

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-03 11:38:00

Hello all

I would want to sue the city.. If i was the small dogs owner...

They just sat back and waited for the big dogs to finish??? thats messed up!!

I'm afraid to ask what kind of dogs the big ones were... I'm a big advocate the Pit Bulls get a bad Rep

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-03 14:12:00

QUOTE (slbois @ Sep 3 2007, 04:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE

To me, what deemabrouk is saying seems to be at odds with that the_dip_sticks is saying. I am going to wait to see what the_dip_sticks response is, as I am not qualified to argue either way.

Well, if you're going to put it that way...no one on this forum is qualified to argue either way. And although I think that Adiel's husband makes a lot of good points, of course his opinions are just that...opinions.

yup you are right.. this is All opinions.. and we all are gonna do what we wanna do regardless

I am No scholar.. this is just simply my view on things

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-03 15:20:00

*edit

Sura 7 Alaraf - talking about the she camel.......

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-03 14:54:00

I wanna edit too... cause i re read the OP stress on the Quran and NOT hadith!!!!!

there also numerous suras about the proper treatment of animals... the she camel being on of my fav's..

and if you seem to have a problem with HADITH... the best thing to look at is SUNNAH!!!!

which the life of the prophet saw is supposed to be a great translation of the quran.

"There is not an animal that lives on the earth, nor a being that flies on its wings, but forms part of communities like you. Nothing have We omitted from the Book, and they all shall be gathered to their Lord in the end." (Sura 6:38)

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-03 14:41:00

QUOTE (bszoom42 @ Sep 3 2007, 02:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

To me, what deemabrouk is saying seems to be at odds with that the_dip_sticks is saying. I am going to wait to see what the_dip_sticks response is, as I am not qualified to argue either way.

well to EVERYTHING in Islam there is a Bigger picture.. we ofcourse have to follow the 5 pillars... but is that it? Nope. You have to try and follow Sunnah... Be a better person... DO the right thing... etc.

So thats my point... there is the halal Slaughter... but Also what follows is treating the animal in a Halal manner.. That is TRUELY what makes it halal.....

and yes Islam is easy... not supposed to be hard.. if we were dying in the desert and magically a pig walks around the sand dune... we can eat it to survive?? Yup

But in the "land of plenty" I think the arguement is weak... there are other "halal" things to eat if you dont have any Halal meat shops near you......

My Imam said that Yes they go to non halal restaraunts.. but him and his wife will get a veggie/ pasta dish or seafood... No Biggie

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-03 14:20:00

and yes... cause i AM a vegetarian.. . I DO gotta go there...

http://www.savethesh...sliveexport.asp

http://ninemsn.video...m...nutes&t=s29

if the link above doesnt work... you can get the 60 minutes video off of this..

http://www.savethesh...liveexports.asp

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-03 12:54:00

the problem here I think goes BEYOND the halal slaughter in its self...

The animal IS supposed to be Properly handled and fed.. Not abused... and not done in front of other animals

In america with its mass consumption... the typical slaughter house is over crowded.. the animals are NOT properly fed ( tons of research about animals being re-fed other animals in their feed) the animals are physically abused.. and killed infront of the others causing terror and stress.. None of that is Halal...

“Verily Allâh has prescribed proficiency in all things. Thus, if you kill; kill well. And when you slaughter an animal, do it in a good way; and you should sharpen your blade and the animal must be spared from discomfort and suffering.” (Sahih Muslim).

Narrated Shaddad ibn Aws: "Two are the things which I remember Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) having said: Verily Allah has prescribed goodness for everything; so when you kill, kill in a good way and when you slaughter, slaughter in a good way. So every one of you should sharpen his knife, and let the slaughtered animal die comfortably." [Muslim]

now I dont wanna eat my lunch

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-03 12:43:00

just as a quickly.. as slightly lazy to fully get going with a debate

http://www.jucanada....lguidelines.htm

http://www.halalmc.c...e_stunning.html

http://www.halalmc.c..._slaughter.html

"Halal" is an Arabic word that means ‘lawful’. In Islam certain things are lawful and other things are not. The latter are called ‘haram’ and include things such as drinking alcohol, sex outside marriage and eating animals that are not herbivores (such as pigs).

When talking about halal meat we are talking about meat which is lawful for a Muslim to eat, i.e. the animal has been treated and slaughtered in a manner that has been deemed appropriate by God.

Halal not only refers to the actual slaughter of the animal but is also tied in to the welfare of the animal as well as the state of mind, body and soul of the person taking that animal’s life.

So what makes meat halal?

The principles of halal can be split into 3 areas;

The actual slaughter
The welfare of the animal
The state of the slaughterer.
The Slaughter
The following procedures constitute the ideal procedure for slaughtering an animal…

The animal is given a drink of water and is to be placed lying down facing Mecca
The animal must be calmed
The animal is not allowed to see other animals going to slaughter or being slaughtered and ideally not let to smell other animals’ blood
The animal can at no time see the knife
The knife must be razor sharp
A prayer must be read and the intention to take the animal’s life for the correct reasons must be made
The neck must be slit in one clean pull of the knife cutting through the skin and oesophagus right to the back of the neck
The animal must be held securely until all life has left it
These methods are used as they are believed to be the kindest and most effective way of slaughtering.

Stunning is not the considered as an ideal method of slaughtering but some Islamic scholars have permitted it. Therefore much of the halal meat in the UK is stunned and bled just like any other meat. The only difference is that halal meat would be cut by a Muslim.

The Welfare
The Quran, along with the Torah and Bible, is one of the original animal rights texts. In addition, many of the sayings of the Prophet Muhammad demand that Muslims treat animals mercifully and with kindness. In one he says, "God calls for mercy in everything, so be merciful when you kill and when you slaughter: sharpen your blade to relieve its pain".

Technically speaking, Islam opposes battery and intense farming as they are seen as an exploitation of animals. Therefore from birth to death an animal should be reared and cared for in a natural and stress-free environment.

The State of the Slaughterer
The act of taking an animal’s life is called a "sacrifice". This points to the fact that within Islam an animal’s life is seen as no less worthy than any other creature’s. The giving up of an animal’s life is a privilege not a right. The one slaughtering must be aware at a physical, mental and spiritual level that the act they are about to commit is serious and should not be approached nonchalantly.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-03 12:16:00

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-03 12:16:00

actually I disagree with you all...

I dont think Just simply saying Bismillah makes is Halal...

the guidelines are QUIET CLEAR on what makes a "halal Slaughter"

and I KNOW most of the slaughter houses here in the US are NO WHERE near being HALAL

I also bring this up at Eid al Adha too... that it ends up being a blood bath.. not a proper Halal Sacrifice

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-03 09:08:00

Marrying a Muslim

You guys so forgot the BIG ONE:

HE'S JUST USING YOU FOR A GREEN CARD

Yup thats the biggest one I've heard... that and the "Well how do you know he is NOT a terrorist??!!"

and I used to think that the "Not Without My Daughter" was a good one... BUT now i think is was way to damaging...

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-03-30 08:54:00

CONGRATULATIONS NORA AND AHMED!!!!

WOW!!!! MABROUK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FINALLY!!!!!!!

:dance:

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-07-18 09:07:00

MENA men and the great job hunt

well it actually helped Mohamed talking to othe egyptians.. to get hired Without papers... for now he works 2 days a week sell/ moving produce at the haymarket in the North end..

and Networking with people in the mosque....

he actually got hired under the table at a pizza place for 54 hours a week.. then later refused the job cause he found out they had pork there

he has his biometric appointment in a few weeks... once he actually has papers and a SSN.... I think he will get a job at a american run business... he actually didnt really want to work with a bunch of arabs anyways..

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-05 10:15:00

MORE custody paper now needed after interview

well I dont know if this pertains.. but before I traveled over seas.. and all the Visa #######... I got a letter from a court judge that i was the sole legal guardian of my children.. I know some times a fuss can be made.. especially with international abductions.. traveling over seas.. dealing with ANYBODY over seas.. etc..

I dont remember seeing if you actually got this paper???

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-08 11:25:00

QUOTE (Jenn! @ Sep 9 2007, 10:51 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (deemabrouk @ Sep 9 2007, 10:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

after the ####### he has been saying about America and americans... I am hoping that he will go back home.. from what he says... this is the most vile place on earth... drug addicts everywhere.. lesbians everywhere.. mentally retarded people everywhere.. homeless everywhere... so I am pushing to him just going home cause America is not the place for him

Holy cow, someone has a flair for the dramatic, huh? Lesbians everywhere, LOL. Where has he been hanging out?

well... they ARE around.. we have a group of them that live in our building.. very butchie.. that seem to turn his stomach.. and the other day.. I guess he had to ride a bus.. and the whole time to girls were cuddleing and kissing... I dont really give a ####### about these things... I've grown up with gay people and it doesnt bother me any... but to him..

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-09 09:54:00

QUOTE (sarah and hicham @ Sep 9 2007, 10:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well Dee, I hope this is it for you guys and you can get yourself and your children out of this situation. You can spend your whole life giving him second chances or you can get out now and move on with your life. Good luck. I think it's time to really cancel the AOS/EAD now.

well Like I said before.. I dont care about the EAD... and the AOS is not gonna proceed with a cancled check. no money.. never mind that fact that what I am making NOw will NOT cover the income guidelines..

after the ####### he has been saying about America and americans... I am hoping that he will go back home.. from what he says... this is the most vile place on earth... drug addicts everywhere.. lesbians everywhere.. mentally retarded people everywhere.. homeless everywhere... so I am pushing to him just going home cause America is not the place for him

Edited by deemabrouk, 09 September 2007 - 09:48 AM.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-09 09:47:00

QUOTE (JeanneVictoria @ Sep 8 2007, 05:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Have thought carefully at what I want to say and this is no offense to you...It all comes down to how ANY man is raised...it doesn't matter what country or what universe!! My husband is from Egypt and I have spent many months with him and his family and I see no abuse of any kind, shape or form. I know we tend to classify people with their cultural groups which of course is so wrong to do. I, like you, am an Italian American and people have always thought that our "cultural" heritage was always waving our hands in the air and yelling and screaming instead of talking. Of course we know this is untrue, however it is still a part of our life.
I do hope you and your husband can still work things out, but not at the expense of your children. I wish you luck and will keep you in our prayers for guidance.

well to be honest.. I do talk with my hands.. although a lot less within the past few years.. and when my family gets together.. it does sound like we are all fighting... but its normal conversation fo us..

I have been told I am a stereotypical italian woman

Its hard cause my husband seems to be the Only one in the family that is aggressive/ cant control his temper... his mom and dad (dad especially is overly passive) and out of the 6 siblings mohamed is the only one that seems to have the lack of control issue

When things were on a up... we actually had a long talk about this behavior with him and where it stemmed from.
Personally I think alot of it goes to Over spoiling.. catering to their emotions and out bursts.. NO one ever stood up to him.. or made him be accountable for his own actions..

I first fell into this EXACT situation

with my kids dad... came from a good family... religious.. parents still together.. No abuse issues growing up.. but yet their son was out of contol..

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-08 16:58:00

Nope... I left again with the kids today... I think I have met my limit.. He has been very bad with my 5 year old.. Not physically hurting him... but verbally and emotionally..

I have mainly been abandoned by my muslim friends and Imam... SO it looks like my mom, aunt and me are left to do the job as peacfully as possible:(

QUOTE (sarah and hicham @ Sep 8 2007, 02:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (deemabrouk @ Sep 8 2007, 09:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

to be quite honest.. I 100% agree with cultural stereotypes... They dont just come out of the air... its a pattern of behavior.. watched over time to cultural groups... NOw.. is evey irish person a drunk... no.. Is every arab a wife beater??.. no... BUT at this point I wish I paid MORE attention to what EVERYBODY warned me about egyptians.. My husband as lived out EVERYTHING! people have warned me..

but in the same text.. women are woman.. and men are men..

After all the ####### that has happened with mohamed.. My family is singing the tune "I told you so.." about the Arab Muslim man and his temperment (which has sucked.. cause I was hoping my marriage would OPEN their eyes to this "False" stereotype.. and in the end.. to them... It proved them RIGHT!)

BUT in my defence to arab men with my family ... I tell them NO it is a stereotype of MEN in general.. and Sadly referr them to my First relationship.. born and raised in the US.. raised in a Catholic church.. so it is MEN in general.. not arabs...

same goes for woman too

QUOTE (sarah and hicham @ Sep 8 2007, 12:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (mybackpages @ Sep 8 2007, 08:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (palilover @ Aug 9 2007, 01:30 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

yes and no. From my experience with the palistinians I've met here and been with for the past year, I notice that when it comes to dealing with other women or in a group, they yell at each other, talk over each other, blabla. It gives me a big headache sometimes. What the husband probably is not usedt to is the sassiness that American women may have towards their husbands:) Not out of disrespect, mind you. but just we are louder. The pali women I know here are very submissive and sheltered when it comes to their husbands. I was in an argument with a woman and I said to her "Would you let a stranger in your house when you were not home?" It is common sense to say NO right? She could not make the decision for herself. Her husband was standing there so she had to ask HIM!!!! While I think that in most circumstances arab women make great mothers and have good maternal instinct and they are in many ways good wives (well, aren't we all in our own special way no matter the culture)....but it is beginning to kill me how they cannot think for themselves. Having her ask her husband if she should say yes or no to letting a stranger in her house when they are not ome was the last straw, lol Something so common sense to us they have to ask if it is yes or no, lol

Not to pick specifically on your post Paliover because i think many have expressed similar views, but i think there is a different way of looking at this.

Why do we assume because MENA women are not as "sassy towards their husbands" as American women is a sign that they are more submissive and sheltered? To use the example of the women in your post- Why does her asking her husband signal that she is so submissive to her husband she can not speak without looking at him first when the answer is common sense? Perhaps a different interpretation is that she is valuing the harmony of the family and community over the right of individuality?

Both American and MENA women can be strong, independent women but culture defines the expression of strong and independent in different ways in the two cultures. In other words the social behavior which defines a woman as strong and independent or submissive and sheltered varies from culture to culture.

I think it is very dangerous when we try to measure another's cultural behaviors by our own standards. The expressions of values and mores are sublte and easy for an outsider to misunderstand. We run the risk of furthering stereotypes and misunderstandings.

Some of these posts make me wonder.

How's things going? Do you think you two are going to stay together in the end?

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-08 14:59:00

QUOTE (sarah and hicham @ Sep 8 2007, 12:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (mybackpages @ Sep 8 2007, 08:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (palilover @ Aug 9 2007, 01:30 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Some of these posts make me wonder.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-09-08 11:35:00

well... at this point... I will say Fraud is NOT in my mind.. And I know many cases that THAT might be the issue.. but the man is honsetly tramatised by leaving his mother.. and truely did not care to move here - and with that being said, I know that is ALOT of his stress

At this point I DO think we both love each other... BUT.. love isnt everything. IF the american-way is more than he can handle.. american style wife and kids... well.. I dont know.

I think alot of MENA men get this golden Idea of america from the TV.. and they think they can handle it all.. they can deal with the American wife... Move here.. Open a busniess.. and live the "American Dream" - BUT once they are Knee deep in the mix... they never really understood what it all entails

Honestly.. I never hid my sassiness.. and my "italian temper/ volume" has Always been present.. He knew my kids were overwhelming (yes DID come with me to Egypt.. and he got a taste of what they were like...

AND had several SEVERAL talks about how it is NOT easy.. waltzing into america and gettin this AMAZING job.. (his friends have these Glory Story's coming into the country 10+ years ago.. It's just NOT the same anymore ) Especially with the Bush ADmin.. and the terror/ immigration crack down.. And dont kill me for saying it.. BUT people would hire spanish/ mexican work ANYDAY over an arab with how things are going in the US

I'm just so sorry. My hubby is a mama's boy too....or was, him being the oldest of 2 boys and the family provider. In our case, his mom has done things to bury herself.

Patience for both of you. Have you sat down and told him all this?

yes

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-08-02 13:20:00

well... at this point... I will say Fraud is NOT in my mind.. And I know many cases that THAT might be the issue..

Sorry, Dee. Just wanted to make it clear that my comments were really tangential and I didn't mean to imply anything by them.

oh i know... Its all Good :thumbs:

I just felt like replying... CAUSE i have heard of cases.. that once the man comes here.. He then FREAKS out.. another side IS shown.. and this is his way of trying to break free once he arrives in the US.. to then "have to leave cause the woman is Intolerable.. a bad wife" Like the woman's self esteem issues are used against them as a part of the scam.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-08-02 12:33:00

well... at this point... I will say Fraud is NOT in my mind.. And I know many cases that THAT might be the issue.. but the man is honsetly tramatised by leaving his mother.. and truely did not care to move here - and with that being said, I know that is ALOT of his stress

At this point I DO think we both love each other... BUT.. love isnt everything. IF the american-way is more than he can handle.. american style wife and kids... well.. I dont know.

I think alot of MENA men get this golden Idea of america from the TV.. and they think they can handle it all.. they can deal with the American wife... Move here.. Open a busniess.. and live the "American Dream" - BUT once they are Knee deep in the mix... they never really understood what it all entails

Honestly.. I never hid my sassiness.. and my "italian temper/ volume" has Always been present.. He knew my kids were overwhelming (yes DID come with me to Egypt.. and he got a taste of what they were like...

AND had several SEVERAL talks about how it is NOT easy.. waltzing into america and gettin this AMAZING job.. (his friends have these Glory Story's coming into the country 10+ years ago.. It's just NOT the same anymore ) Especially with the Bush ADmin.. and the terror/ immigration crack down.. And dont kill me for saying it.. BUT people would hire spanish/ mexican work ANYDAY over an arab with how things are going in the US

Edited by deemabrouk, 02 August 2007 - 12:28 PM.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-08-02 12:27:00

Like I said in the daily thread, it seems there is an urgent situation in Dee's household and she needs support in terms of actions she can follow through with to clear her head, to put a stop to his feak-outs, etc. I think as a single mom she is probably feeling far more drained by her husband than anything. He should be helping her with the kids, not sucking her dry.

100% correct..

He doesnt have any friends near... he does know someone in Philly.. But I dont think he's about to willing go for a trip

Well then it's settled. You get the chloroform and I'll start the car. I think Philly's about a 7 hour drive, right? If you weren't a veggie I'd try to tempt you with a philly cheesesteak on the way home. :energetic:

i hear they have Great Veggie philly cheesesteaks :thumbs:

maybe i'll start to google where i can get the chloroform

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-08-01 15:08:00

Like I said in the daily thread, it seems there is an urgent situation in Dee's household and she needs support in terms of actions she can follow through with to clear her head, to put a stop to his feak-outs, etc. I think as a single mom she is probably feeling far more drained by her husband than anything. He should be helping her with the kids, not sucking her dry.

100% correct..

He doesnt have any friends near... he does know someone in Philly.. But I dont think he's about to willing go for a trip

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-08-01 11:35:00

at this point i feel like cancelling the checks(EAD/AOS) and throwing in the towel

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-08-01 09:22:00

Oh God don't tell him that! Even if it does take awhile to find a job, let him discover that on his own.

do you think i am crazy??!! wait dont answer that.......
:whistle:

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-07-31 15:48:00

Great discussion, ladies...

My husband has now been here for a little over 2 years. He was not able to work for the first 9 months (temp. EAD from JFK was useless due to waiting a month for SSN, our wedding and honeymoon), which just about drove him crazy.

When he finally got his employment authorization it was VERY difficult to find a job. You'd think he would be qualified for all kinds of positions, but it seems like nobody even considered his education and experience since it wasn't in the US.

He was so excited when he finally got his first job, but he quit after two days (with my firm support). His job was at a local Palestinian restaurant and the owner was a unpleasant slave-driver who paid only $7 a hour, but promised to make my husband a manager "soon." To make matters worse, the owner was constantly swearing in Arabic and making rude, racist remarks about customers (especially Jews). The Mexican guy working there just put his head down and worked hard, but Simo understood everything the guy was saying. Good riddance--Simo quit and we have never gone back to that restaurant, even though the food is fabulous and the guy had catered our wedding.

His second job is the one he still has. He had met a friend of mine at a party and she called him up to offer him a job at a really nice Country Club. They are very nice to him but it doesn't pay too well and it's a long drive to work. I appreciate that he now has a strong job history. a small paycheck and good benefits, but I hope that he can pick a direction for a career path soon!

Simo has so many ideas--some that sound an awful lot like others on this board. He would like to start his own business, he would like to go back to school, but he changes his mind every other week. I would be supportive of anything that he thinks through.

My assessment: be very patient!

Cheers,
Carolyn

if i told him I took someone 9 months to work??? :blink:

he'd go off the deep end

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-07-31 15:17:00

as I type this.. I have him on the phone with a loan agent that speaks arabic... Inshallah this will do the trick.. I told the man to please explain to my SO what it will take for him to get a loan... starting from getting a SSN..

We found this guy out a Islamic Arabic News paper

http://www.nationalc.....p;LOID=776819...

LOL.. I know he is talking about me but what I dont know

The link didn't work. Would you consider Shortening it at www.tinyurl.com, and reposting it, please?

After the nationalcitymortgage.com... add this...

/bwsb/ncm/consultant.aspx?BranchID=474&LOID=776819

His name is Tarek Elbeshbeshy.. I dont know if you can do a search for the reps

Edited by deemabrouk, 31 July 2007 - 11:04 AM.

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-07-31 11:02:00

If you're looking for free English Language classes then try the Literacy Council. It's free and sometimes you can even get one on one tutoring. Retired teachers,etc. volunteer their time.

this says only IL ........

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-07-30 14:15:00

My husband understood the legality of it all, but because very depressed during this long wait. The work auth never came before the green card, nor did the permission to travel outside of the US. I found that my opinion on anything was automatically discounted, and that he didn't seem to listen when I pointed out that something was possible or impossible.

I WISH I could have gotten him to volunteer. Though his english is quite good, he needs lots of help w/ spelling and writing. He was rather arrogant and decided he didn't need an ESL class. Most people say he's a fluent speaker with a good accent, though as an ESL teacher myself, I notice how much he doesn't understand, but nods his head in agreement all the time.

so then.. what happened?

deemabrouk

Female

Egypt

2007-07-30 13:52:00