ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsTo Use or Not to use

I see date ranges from less than 60 days to more than 100 days for some. CSC seems to be more consistant with time lines than VSC. I was wondering if there was a connection to use or not to use Attorney to file K1 petition as to length of time. I can not figure out why there are such large gaps in some NOA 2 approvals. I know this is only the beginning of the VJ and I chose to use Attorney and the package that was assembled for our journey was complete and in order. But that was before I even knew this site existed :bonk: . IMHO Knowing what I know now and if I had it to do all over again, I think I would have kept my money in my pocket. :thumbs: I have heard horror stories and positive stories on both ways to go about this process. I would like to see some numbers, maybe it will help future VJ's make an informed choice.

Please share your opinion,
Thanks


Well, you asked or an opinion and you got one! :lol:
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-06-04 20:47:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInview done, medial turned in, K1 should be sent
Department of State.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-11-01 20:35:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsLost all faith - July VSC

Here are a couple of things for you to think about.

When you get your NOA2, it will be that much sweeter. Also, things will move very quickly for you and there will be a lot of work to do after it pops. I'm also hoping that the consulates will have a decreased workload once the log jam breaks and things will move faster.

Next, you will have your whole life together (hopefully). While it sucks, just remember the end goal. If anything it puts you through a trial period that will hopefully strengthen your relationship.

Finally, how do you think people in the military feel when they have to deploy? My mom had to raise two kids while my dad spent two years in Vietnam. I'm not trying to say that our situation isn't bad and that we should all suck it up. However, it could be worse. Look at the good side. You have Skype. Your fiance is (hopefully) not getting shot at. You have something to be excited about. Can you imagine doing this before the internets? Just think of your fiance as a present you can't open yet.

Just hang in there and try to keep a positive frame of mind (I know it is hard).


This is probably one of the best replies I've ever seen to this type of thread. :thumbs:
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-12-17 20:53:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsMerry Christmas
Merry Christmas to you all, and may this be your last Christmas apart!
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2010-12-24 23:33:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsSurvivor's Guilt

Man oh man......

You just won the prize for the rudest comment I've read since I joined this forum..."It's the immigration equivalent of "even a caveman" can do it......Really??? Because I followed all the guides to a "t", and added documents and records that weren't even asked for...people thought I was sending too much, making it too organized. We didn't forget to sign anything, didn't leave anything out, and guess what.......we got a huge RFE..... And the only explanation I've been told could be the reason is because we got married on my first visit. There weren't any red flags in our file according to my attorney that I've since hired. So we've been waiting for almost nine months with no NOA2.....for WHATEVER reason..... And you know what, there are many people on this site that get RFE's for forgetting something, or not quite filling something out right....so you should really think about what you say before you say it.

I just love how some people can be so smug when they've gotten what other people are still waiting for....I would've loved to have seen your comments if you wouldn't have been one of the lucky ones.......

"


LisaMarie - You are filing for a CR1 visa. That is different than a K1. The requirements for a K1 petition approval are very minimal. Much easier than the type of visa you are filing for.

Edited by Rebecca Jo, 12 January 2011 - 07:08 AM.

Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-01-12 07:08:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsSurvivor's Guilt

One would think the author would know the intent of her own post. :o But perhaps I will wait for you to tell me how I feel next time. Hugs.


Man oh man.

Here's how it goes, Jenifer. This shouldn't be a race. Every case is different. Some get petitions approved quickly; some more slowly. Same with NVC - cases go in and out at a different rate. Consulate - an entirely different ballgame.

In the world of visa issuance, NOA 2 (I-797) for the petition is really NOT a big deal. All a petitioner has to do is follow a few simple instructions and voila you have case approval. It's the immigration equivalent of "even a caveman" can do it. Consulate is where the relationship and the beneficiary will have to pass muster. That is the stage of visa issuance where case differences come into play.

So maybe I don't know how you feel. But I do know what it has been like to be a member of this community who got a quick NOA2. And it hasn't been easy. The ugly little green monster comes out in people when you've got something they want.

In fact, I stuck around this board a lot longer than most because I felt some sense of obligation to pass along what I had learned to those still "stuck". I only ever reared my head when I was attacked for getting a quick petition approval. As if I had any control over it. No more control over it than you had with yours.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-01-11 21:41:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsSurvivor's Guilt

How you present your package has very little to no impact on how quicky it gets approved. USCIS takes it apart and reorganizes it to fit their system.


I would disagree with this. At least from the standpoint of having everything the Service needs and presenting it in a tidy fashion. I do think that's important insofar as getting a petition approval without an RFE.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-01-11 21:15:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsSurvivor's Guilt

I am elated that mine was approved, just like you were. I think you just read it wrong. Have a good night.


I don't know. I read the sentence a couple of times. I'm pretty sure I got it right.

Our case was approved in 13 days. So I'm pretty sure I know how I feel about this issue.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-01-11 21:12:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsSurvivor's Guilt
Almost 6 years ago, our petition processed very quickly.

And we were elated.

But never from the standpoint of having the case processed ahead of others.

In fact, I never even thought of it that way.

And I don't know what would possess a person to feel that way.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-01-11 20:27:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsSeptember 2010 NAO1 People Only Please
And further I would direct you to here:

http://www.visajourn...ls.php?album=15
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-08 21:40:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsSeptember 2010 NAO1 People Only Please

I have numerous timelines, from USCIS and here which clearly show that NOA2s were flowing out at 1-4 months per, with small hiccups around 5-6 months (rarely) from 2000 to 2008.

Obama did nothing but screw up this system even more by appointing the 'feel goody good' people like Hillary and Naploitano in their positions. They are the ones who put priorities in the USCIS such as the TPS debacle that is still causing the VSC problem.


I would like to see your evidence.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-08 21:38:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsLuck of Willpower
Sounds like it wasn't meant to be.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-17 18:58:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsMovement to Expedite VSC K-1s

A big news station would be great to get on board! I can only imagine how great it would be to see a CNN Special Report on the USCIS! Or a news "investigation" would look even better! Keep tweeting!!! :help:


There's news on CNN and other networks all the time about USCIS, ICE and CBP. But it's just not about the part of immigration you are interested in. It's about the part that most Americans are interested in.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-19 11:33:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsMovement to Expedite VSC K-1s

FYI a friend of mine called for a service request at Vermont today. They informed him that normal processing times are now at 6 months, not 5. They would not take his request til it reached 7 months. His petition is sitting at 6 months 24 days. This is what he told me at lunch today. He is not a VJ member so i am giving the scoop here based on his phone call.


Sounds like a phone rep with a grumpy attitude.

A lot of the info from the phone lines are wrong. I'd stick to UCSIC official processing times if it were me.

in all honesty i don't think any of us "foreigners" should be doing anything to come against USCIS. We are trying to get in to a country and Its not going to do us any good by posting/tweeting negative things about the process or about how retardedly slow they are. Yes, we are all under stress but unless its the American petitioner directly that is making a "voice" and tweeting, i don't think its healthy for us foreigners to be coming against the government and there process like this.
If the government wants to find stuff out about the people who are trying to get in to America they will most definitely do whatever background work they can. That means your Tweets, your facebook, and your Visa Journey posts may not be helping you but hurting you. Yes, i do agree that if we've hit the 5 month mark then we should call and try to get it going but we also need to remember that we need to be nice to USCIS because they are the ones who can deny us from being with our loved ones. So don't make them mad if you are not the petitioner!


I don't think the foreign born are going to get in trouble with USCIS for tweeting.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-19 11:31:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsMovement to Expedite VSC K-1s

I've been tweeting today, its great to go to the @uscis page and see SO MANY of our tweets there!

My petition is at VSC and I'm extremely concerned since I have my wedding planned for 11-11-11, and my embassy in Canada is known for being slow as well. I CANNOT wait more than 6 months for my NOA2 and I CANNOT lose my wedding. So anyone showing up in this thread to naysay or try and bring us down, you're being pointlessly mean when we are all already under a lot of stress. Help us or leave us, please.


What do you mean, you cannot?

I mean, I really hope things go for you as planned. But plenty of people on these boards have lost wedding deposits before........
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-19 11:27:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsGet a Grip!

But no matter how annoying you find somebody on the internet; I hope we still wish them well in their relationship.


I certainly wasn't wishing Al422 any ill.

It was easy to tell from his last few posts that he was about ready to pop. I don't see how his relationship could survive that kind of self imposed stress. And it didn't matter how much support he got. He didn't want it.

You can't help somebody like that.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-29 20:13:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsGet a Grip!
What has happened to Al422?

I'm thinking they split up.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-27 12:58:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsIdeas to keep your relationship interesting..
Is this your website?
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-09-30 19:30:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsDo I dare say this - "But I am GLAD for the long application wait".

what i wouldnt give for a feeling of normality right now lol :)


I understand. :)

Trust me, it will be there soon.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-10-17 17:14:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsDo I dare say this - "But I am GLAD for the long application wait".

Mmm, definitely agree. It is also a good, real test of the strength of your relationship. The wait is worth it.


I used to think it was a test of our relationship also. And I do agree that the wait is worth it.

But after you are married and living together, you'll discover your life becomes really normal. And despite the long wait and separation, some unions don't survive. Just because of real life, I think.

OP you're a smart person.I agree with you.being in a long distance relationship,regardless of the visa status is a blessing as much as it is a curse. HOWEVER I think what pisses people off is being kept in the dark about things during the visa process, not the actual waiting time itself


I agree with this. The process is anything but transparent.

You can't do anything about it anyway. It's the way the process works. So getting antsy, and whining about it only makes it worse. Mature people will understand this and as much as you want to be with the one you love, you will be, hopefully for a very long time. And for those of us that went through it all, trust us when we say that when she/he finally arrives, it will seem like only yesterday. What was that old expression? "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" ?


Yep. It's just the way it is. It's not like buying shoes where you can just go to another store.

And yeah - it does just melt away after you are reunited.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-10-17 16:47:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsIs it just me or has going through immigration really put wedding planning into perspective?

So far, my wedding is about $15k with about 150 people invited. This is MAINLY because of my parents, but I also don't feel like I should have to sacrifice wearing a beautiful dress and walking down an aisle at an amazing venue just because of this visa process. We set the date a good distance in advance so hopefully everything will be done in time. If not, ALL of the services (venue, cake, dj, photographer, etc.) can be moved with one phone call and we will NOT pay any extra fees since we explained all of this to them in advance. :dance:

Of course all I want is for my fiance to be here but i'm not sitting here stressing over it and saying- :i wont have this beautiful wedding because he might not be able to come here" ... i'm staying positive and believing that YES! he will be allowed in and everything will be fine and dandy. naive maybe, but we'll see.

and there's really nothing bad about having a big wedding... if its what someone wants then fine, it's what they want. who can judge and say whether it's right or wrong? it feels like people who want a wedding bigger than a few people & their fiance are being attacked here :P



You're only being attacked if you feel like you are. At least that's how I see it. It's just a convo.

Some of the folks in this thread have fiances in places where it costs a LOT of money just to visit. You and I were lucky with fiances in Europe. Not so much to fly there and the VWP makes it easy. Burning a lot of money on travel can really put a dent in the budget.

Plus, it's a tight-wad world now. It used to be OK to talk about how much money you spent on your house, your car, etc. Now it's fashionable to be cheap. So don't take it personal.

Ever heard of family paying for the wedding? lol


I've always been grateful I had a son! :lol:

Oh - and as I've said before - I looked damn good!

Edited by Rebecca Jo, 13 October 2011 - 04:57 PM.

Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-10-13 16:56:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsIs it just me or has going through immigration really put wedding planning into perspective?

Indeed, immigration is expensive but it's money well spent :thumbs:

Spending $20,000 for a single day however, is a little ridiculous when a nice meaningful ceremony could be done at a quarter of the cost.


Our wedding cost less than $2K. Rings included.

And I looked damn good too.

I am planning a small wedding and even if I had the money I wouldn't see myself having a big wedding or spending 30,000.

My budget is under $5,000 for everything ,as living in NYC doesn't help much .
My big splurge will be on a photographer and dinner for around 18-25 close relatives & friends.

Anyways :ot2: At the end of the day you just want to tie the knot and be with your love one. MR & MRS :)


We got married in a hotel suite with about 10 people there. Had a fancy dinner in the restaurant, replete with cake and booze.

I bet you can do it for way less that 5K.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-10-12 21:40:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsWhat Do You Do If You Are Denied a Visa?

Do you have a link to a site that explains what the income requirements are and how to go about obtaining the visa?


The current income requirements for a couple (two people) are that you must have approximately 106 GBP per week left over after rent and council tax.

This is expected to rise significantly in April to anywhere from 18K to 24K GBP per year.

Go to uk-yankee.com for more information.

I always advise every UK couple to weigh which country might really be the best for them. And that means every couple, not just people with a hitch to their US case.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-12-16 13:49:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsWhat Do You Do If You Are Denied a Visa?

By the sounds of it many of you have some very specialized degrees. I'm not well versed on immigration as, until I met Paul, I'd never even thought about it. How does one just immigrate to one of these destinations(one that neither of you are already a citizen of)? Don't you have to have some kind of business or investment?

I only wish money were no object for us, but unfortunately it is.


You move to the UK the same way he would come to the US. As a fiance. Or a spouse.

It's expensive but it's actually far less time consuming than a US visa. He needs to have a job to sponsor you. You need to prove relationship. You don't do a medical for a UK visa. You don't produce a police report.

Rules are changing in April and income requirements will be higher.

Yeah there are a lot of great places in the world but let's be honest...no where is comparable to the States. This is the land of opportunity...the land of milk and honey and as much as I love visiting other places and cultures I would NEVER live anywhere else.


Are you for real?
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-12-16 00:19:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsALL HELL HAS FROZEN OVER!!!!!
Congratulations, Dan! :)
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-01-06 06:52:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsTo Go or NoT to Go to the INTERVIEW???!!!

Amiga, the more accurate question is "How much did it cost NOT to go?"

It cost me a few thousand dollars in extra airfare & international expenses -- by being "ordered" to appear for the second (Stokes) interview by the ####### consul, time missed from work, countless phone calls to governmental officials and the ####### consulate, paying the cat-sitter, and more that I'm forgetting.

The emotional cost was even worse. For months, people observed that I was haggard and drawn from the tension & stress, and my work performance suffered. After the Stokes interview -- where we did NOT even get the courtesy of speaking with an American, we had to reveal the details of our sex life to a foreigner, and we got no answer except "return to your homes, and we will contact you" -- I slept for maybe 45 minutes on the 5.5-hour flight back. We didn't get Mrs. T-B.-to-be here in time to marry on what would have been my parents' anniversary, which would have been a tribute to their marriage made in heaven and would have comforted my grieving mother, whose only goal was to die to be with my dad. It took over two months of concerted daily activity to pry the visa free. We got Mrs. T-B.-to-be here 8 days after the deadline for getting her a state driver's license with any meaningful time on it.

All that because I reasoned, "Oh, I was just down there a month earlier, so I don't have to be there for the interview -- and nothing in the VisaJourney reports says that I have to go." Add that to the devious, deceptive practices by the ***censored*** personnel at every level of that louse-ridden hellhole, and that equaled the cost.

A buddy of mine estimates that he lost approximately $10,000 from having to deal with the ####### consulate's monkeyshines and not being able to get her here in time to qualify for "Married Filing Jointly" on the income taxes.

Without thinking too hard about it, I know seven other couples who got blindsided and hosed at least the same, two of them even worse. Go to the Ecuador reviews and ignore the positive ones (almost all of which read positively because people took my warnings and were both there), and read the one by PDXBicycleBoy. Everyone here needs to do that.

Caracas and Lima may not be as bad, but those can be some of the costs of NOT attending the FIRST interview.


I know you had a really hard time because I remember it well. And I was glad it worked out for you in the affirmative. And, I do believe that you serve members well in reminding them that every consulate is different, and for some consulates, attendance of the USC at the interview is a must.

That being said, I think you still have a LOT of issues over the treatment you received. At the end of the day, you got what you wanted. Usually time heals immigration wounds. That doesn't seem to be happening for you. It could have been worse, you know. I really think you need to find a way to use your experience in a more positive way.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-03-31 17:23:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsAnother chapter in our journey

After many ups and downs and lots of worrying and more worrying....I'm pleased to announce that Paul's visa was approved!!!! :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:


Well, I had not seen this! I am well pleased to see things are sorted out!! Many congratulations!
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-06-02 12:22:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVISA DENIED...NEW LIGHT

Ok. But what is wrong with that? She is a citizen. She just moved back home to Ja to care for her sick daughter. But she comes to the states to visit her relatives here and I dont live too far so she came to visit with me. When I am Ja, I visit her.


Because spending too much time with the family/knowing the family/having been previously introduced to the family etc. came be perceived as a marriage arranged (sometimes for cash) by the family for the purpose of bringing their loved one to the States.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-09-12 19:21:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsVISA DENIED...NEW LIGHT

prepare to appeal and sue if it fails.


Sue whom?

I don't think it would be a good idea to bring up in the packet, or at the interview, that his family visits you in the US.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-09-12 17:23:00
PhilippinesHow was it the first time you meet him/her personally?
So the person you have been talking to becomes "real". Not just words on a screen.

It's magical.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-02-14 00:34:00
PhilippinesGod Save the Country

a warning has been issued. if it occurs again, then additional steps will be taken.


Three racist strikes and then what - you get sent down the hall to the principals office?

VJ. Sheesh.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-07-14 21:03:00
PhilippinesGod Save the Country

one post removed for personal attacks and bigotry, 1 for quoting that post.
one more remark like that and we'll go another step.


What are you waiting for Charles?
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-07-14 20:50:00
PhilippinesGod Save the Country

yes RJ it is. steven's thread was a bait thread posted today in the PI forum in responce to this thread posted yesterday there....totally different intent & moving completely done out of spite.


Well, when the opening sentence in a thread is something like "Thank God I married a conservative", that sort of sounds like politics to me.

Unless you want to say it's cultural.

Again.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-07-12 22:57:00
PhilippinesGod Save the Country

there are other POVs represented in the PI forum. no, the point here is you are abusing your privileges by moving the OP's thread & changing its audience & direction....aka hijacking it. apparently because you didn't like your thread being moved. as far as i've seen kathryn nor any other mod has been here yet to comment on this thread. kathryn did however imho-rightfully move your bait thread out of the PI forum. again the intent of this thread & yours you keep using as an example for justification are completely different.


No it's not different.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-07-12 22:49:00
PhilippinesTB history
The scar tissue is going to show up on your chest X-ray. So it would be a really bad idea to lie.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-07-17 23:51:00
PhilippinesWhat did I do wrong?

you need to grow a pair of balls and help her get what she wants!!!!!
put her out in the cold, cut her off monetarily, pack her bags!!!!!!
maybe she will get the point or maybe she wont.
if she thinks she has it bad here then send her azz home!!!


Nice. :blink:
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-07-20 19:28:00
PhilippinesWhat did I do wrong?

I hvae been around the philippines culture for over 20+ years, plus others. I work in computers as an international team lead. I spent many years studying other cultures so I would know how best to motivate people without insulting them.

ok the property statement. You need to research and understand the word for love in Tagalog. This is "mahal" "Mahal" refers to expensive. this word is not only used for saying Love, but also in bartering, and trying to get the price down on an item. It has many meanings in the tagalog language. when you say "mahal kita" or "mahal na mahal kita" You are literally saying you are the most expensive item to me. You are the most dear item I have. You are showing you love family or people OVER items. there are also other words for love. But "mahal" is the most used. Other words are reserved for engaged or married couples. In tagalog saying you are someone's property is NOT referring to cattle, or owning as a slave. It is the best translation Pinoy/Pinay or your asawa (spouse) can give you. It is far beyond that type of thought. The tagalog word literally means "belonging to" either"ikaw ay ngayon ang kanyang ari-arian" or "nabibilang ka sa kanya ngayon" and miss you more as "miss ka higit pa"

It is similar to the Russian woman thinking of marriage. Where you and your spouse are one. you go to parties together and leave together. In Russia (FSU/CIS), You become her best friend, completely joined in everything.

this is similar to Philippines, imagine two cultures very different, but close in thought. The idea of "belonging to each other" is beyond property. the idea is a soul match. The idea in Philippine marriage is your heart, your mind, your soul, your body belong to the other person. However, women abide by this more then most men do i nthe Philippines. It seems a Filipina is like a lovebird. Once wooed and won, you are the only one she wants for the lifetime. This is not true of ALL Filipinas. However, this is how most are raised. More so in the provinces and rural areas then in the cities.

With htis being said, if you cal a girl in America, England, or some other European countries "your greatest treasure", they think you are being possessive or "owning her". But in the Philippines, and in FSU/CIS, and some other countries, this the THE HIGHEST form of PRAISE to her. You have placed her above everything in your life. this is what is EXPECTED in the Philippines.

For the OP, he may be going through tampo. Instead of malambing cya (cya=him/her), and winning her back, he is using the typical american (Kano) thing. What did I do wrong? In Tampo, it matters not WHAT you did, it matters you RECOGNIZE you DID something wrong, and spend time lambing cya. HEALING the hurt. AFTER the HURT is healed, and the relationship restored. then ask what went wrong. this is different from american relationships. In america, the girl wants you to keep on asking over and over again. Or just wait out her temper tantrum. In Philippines, if you ask What is the problem WITHOUT healing the hurt, the reaction the OP is getting is what happens. Severe anger for ignoring cya tampo. As long as she is not expressing negative feelings in tagalog, he may be fine. But when she goes to tagalog, there is severe issues. I really wish him the best. the hard part is when you experience tampo, to just spend time lambing. Msot guys want to know what is wrong to fix it. Pinays need to be patient with us Kanos over this. It is just a cultural difference both have to adjust to. I really do wish the OP the best in this to work out.


So you train employees for Philippine call centers? So they can work for the man in the US for one-sixth of what a US employee would earn? The man spoon-fed you about these people and you think that means you understand their culture?

I don't buy that for 5 seconds.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-07-17 15:40:00
PhilippinesWhat did I do wrong?
Thanks, B_J.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-07-17 12:56:00
PhilippinesWhat did I do wrong?

Tampo is not pulling back so the argument ceases; tampo is preventing an argument before it starts. Tampo is not out of anger; it is more out of hurt.

If the woman gets her feelings hurt, she doesn't yell and scream at the man. Instead she would be quiet and withdrawn; because her feelings are hurt. I definitely prefer quiet to screaming. That's the good part of tampo.

The negative is that it's hard to figure out what's going on the first time you encounter it. :unsure:

By the way, this is one of those cultural traits that I don't think it's right to judge whether it's "good" or not. It's just different.


I asked if it was "good" or not because someone (can't recall who) in one of these threads talked about how just because something is cultural doesn't mean we keep it as part of society, or bring it into a different society.

Is what the OP is writing about tampo? Some said it was..................
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-07-17 12:50:00
PhilippinesWhat did I do wrong?

Actually, in some ways it is.


If a person decides to pull back so the argument ceases, that can be healthy.

If a person continues to punish the person they are angry with after they have apologized, that is not healthy.

Some people have said the actions described by the OP are tampo. That does not appear healthy at all.
Rebecca JoFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-07-17 12:32:00