ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Philippinesmy husband wants to go back
QUOTE (JelloShotGirl @ Mar 6 2009, 12:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My husband wants to go back to RP he is getting frustrated here mostly with the culture and stuff. So we are thinking about our options once he gets his 10 year gc or a citizenship here. He doesnt know how long its gonna take the economy here to change for the better and we dont have a lot of income here. We want to try to start a business but I only have an income here, I dont make a lot of money. I get upset that we can't do anything cuz we dont have a lot of $$ even to go on a simple vacation. My husband gets frustrated even when he applies for a simple job I think he gets insulted by how they treat him, even though I tell him not to take it personal. Sorry guys just venting thanks for listening.


You have to tell your husband that he can't give up. My parents moved to Canada for better life. It took us a long time to be financially stable. I know the economy is not doing well right now. but other people are in worse shape. There are others with kids to feed. I suggest taking it one step at a time. I know its cliche but patience is a virtue. when we moved from philippines, i remember we were always involved in a filipino group/community events. It helped with our transition and we learned how to get around the city, what to look for, meet new people, etc. Maybe you could look into something your husband would be interested in being a part of? it would help having some friends to share the tough times with.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-03-08 15:52:00
PhilippinesI am going to Practice my Tagalog in Philippines Forum
good news. i needed to update my prescription for my contacts and my optometrist's assistant is filipina. Siya ang organizer ng filipino events and gathering sa Aberdeen, WA (which is a pretty small town) and I was shocked to find out that theres a filipino community as it is mostly Caucasian and Mexican population. I Rarely saw any asians. Masayang masaya ako. Plus the optometrist is also part of the filipino culture. May bahay siya sa Pilipinas and volunteer mission work sa Pinas for people who need assistance w/ their eyes. kicking.gif

Now I can update my tagalog and its not so "old fashioned" haha.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-16 01:03:00
PhilippinesI am going to Practice my Tagalog in Philippines Forum
well... i have to go out for breakfast. my husband told me to get off the computer. HAHA. the internet is my friend.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-10 13:08:00
PhilippinesI am going to Practice my Tagalog in Philippines Forum
Ay nako. hindi ko alam. I dont remember those things. ako pa? ano ba yung gay lingo? all my aunts are lesbian so i wouldnt know. laughing.gif

Should I just read a tagalog book or watch filipino movies? carry tagalog dictionary w/ me? hahaha
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-10 12:58:00
PhilippinesI am going to Practice my Tagalog in Philippines Forum
what are the new slangs? there are soooo many! everytime i am watching filipino movies, i have to ask my parents. remember, i moved 16 years ago. lol.

i just want the popular ones.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-10 12:48:00
PhilippinesI am going to Practice my Tagalog in Philippines Forum
I just want to introduce myself in Philippine forum.

So, I moved to Canada when I was 10 years old. I am now 25 years old and very westernized. I have to practice my tagalog kasi meron akong english accent when I speak tagalog. Plus I speak Pangtaglish @ home. haha. (pangasinanse tagalog english). So does my parents when they are talking to us. I understand perfect tagalog. I just want to be able to speak it since I am moving to US with my hubby and wala akong mga filipino friends and family in the area. I never had any filipino friends since 16 yrs old. long story - it all involved gossiping and i hate chismiss. I only have 1 filipina friend b/c i met her when i first moved to canada & she is not into chismiss so i love her for that. haha. So bare with me. I hope there are others like me.

So kumusta!
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-10 12:40:00
PhilippinesDare to Bare?
QUOTE
ME TOO!!! good.gif so sweet!

hey sis! alam mo,napaka-exotic talaga ng beauty mo...when i first saw your pic with your husband....ang nasabi ko lang sa sarili ko "bakit sa kanya bagay ang "pango" maganda pa rin siya?" you are the true beauty of Pinay from the awesomeness of the complexion and the not so awesomeness of the "ilong" LOL


i hate the nose especially my hubby LOVES to press it. Flat na nga eh. if feels like flat na flat na yung nose ko . I couldnt stop laughing at your reply. But thank you. it makes me feel better.

Edited by borderdriver, 10 April 2009 - 12:23 PM.

coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-10 12:21:00
PhilippinesDare to Bare?
hahahahahahaha
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-10 12:12:00
PhilippinesDare to Bare?
Thanks felb heart.gif
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-10 12:09:00
PhilippinesDare to Bare?
mariel & ronmay's signatures are tempting me to add massive pictures on my signature too LOL laughing.gif
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-10 12:04:00
PhilippinesDare to Bare?
3 pages and 2 pictures only?? boring naman.
Eto picture ko w/ my hubby. All black and teeth only showing. laughing.gif I have the true flat filipino nose too laughing.gif at least our kids wont have my nose.


Edited by borderdriver, 09 April 2009 - 02:17 AM.

coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-09 02:16:00
PhilippinesWhere's your hometown?
I searched this thread for Pangasinan and it looks only 1 other person from pangasinan.

I was born in San Fabian, Pangasinan and speak pangasinanse. But i dont speak it fluently anymore but can understand it perfectly. My family in Canada.. we call our unique language - Pangtaglish laughing.gif pangasinan tagalog english.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-10 03:10:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresIR1 / CR1 General Guides and Info
My advice is research, read the guides, wiki, and forums. Search answers on VJ or post your question when lost. (i personally searched and searched first. lol)

The guides really help and the instruction on the petition gives you everything. I followed the I-130 guide & the K3 guides on VJ. I also managed to talk to someone from the Blaine/Vancouver border patrol. Since I couldnt access the US phone numbers, i called the border and the lady that I talked to sent me a bunch of info (some from VJ) and it was also helpful that she had to do the immigration process for her husband previously. So, I had the inside scoop from a border patrol. I am glad to forward her email to you if you'd like. Also, i do not find the Vancouver Consulate very friendly on the emails. They always give me answers I already know and they are never clear or only have 5 word answers. That's how i started spending more time on VJ.

i received both approval on the same day recently. So now, im just waiting for docs from NVC and currently gathering my documents so there arent any last minute worries. do not stress out and be patient. I think i was too hyped up with moving that i read too much info and started worrying. lol. Im almost done with all my documents.

Since you're in vancouver, here are links that helped me out during my journey from Vanc and currently moving to washington:

1. Take a look at the guides (not sure if you are k1/2/3) and/or CR1/IR1(i followed every single step and i never received RFE)
2. check out the flow chart
3. If you are having problems with the forms, check the EXAMPLE forms
4. Once you have approval notice:check out LingChe Shortcut on wiki (i find it more helpful that James shortcut)
5. Info on Vancouver Consulate: http://www.visajourn...p;cty=Vancouver

Good Luck!




coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-03-05 03:35:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresAll approved in February
QUOTE (Princess In Love @ Mar 4 2009, 07:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
i'm still waiting for ds3032 to get generated huh.gif


Mine too. Dont worry. I talked to someone and they said since my case was receive feb. 26, they probably didnt touch it until Tuesday (which is when I called). and there was a delay due to the storm Monday. NVC just told me to wait a couple of days and call back if no update on automated message smile.gif But should be on its way soon

coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-03-05 03:42:00
Canadaa unique situation: importing vehicle
another question. If i dont transfer the registration under my name by the time I use the Van to move my stuff, my father is worried that the van is not under my name & the border wont let me through as I am just borrowing it for the time being. will I have any problems at the border b/c of this?
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-16 01:39:00
Canadaa unique situation: importing vehicle
QUOTE (MrsCat @ Apr 15 2009, 11:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You need to have the vehicle registered in your name in order to import it, as well as register it in whatever state you're going to be living in. You should have your dad turn over title to you.

You won't know about any defects on the vehicle until you send in the VIN etc to the manufacturer. The NHTSA isn't the be-all end-all.

As for the paperwork required, you need to check to see if it has an EPA sticker on it (check the hood or door) and then get a import letter from the manufacturer to see if there are any adjustments that need to be made to the car before import. When I imported my car, the Customs Officers never asked for the import letter or to see the EPA sticker. They just asked to see the registration and declared value of the car.

Who cares whether or not its worth importing. If its a means to transport your goods and go without a car loan for a while, its worth the hassle.

Even if you don't import the vehicle right away, I believe you have one year to complete that. So, if there are problems with getting the import paperwork together, you could drive it in the mean time. I was able to put insurance on my Alberta plated car with Geico with no problems. I didn't register it in HI for a few months.



Well I googled if this car model had any recalls and it has 3 that I know of. the model is on the NHTSA list but it says 1996 (not 1995). But thanks for all the info Mrscat smile.gif I think I will just register it under my name and drive it for a while. it sure beats paying any car payments.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-16 01:34:00
Canadaa unique situation: importing vehicle
QUOTE (funkyab @ Apr 15 2009, 10:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (borderdriver @ Apr 16 2009, 01:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm really confused about importing vehicle.

I had to get rid of my leased vehicle. My father wants to give me his 1995 Plymouth Voyager mini van. I looked on the NHTSA - List of non conforming vehicles eligible for importation and the mini van is not on the list.

Right now, the van is under my father's name. I wanted to get a letter from the manufacturer to find out if i can import it. but they said they need the registration for the van, the owner's name (which my father is going to transfer to me if I can import it), the person importing it and etc. They said they can't tell me if this model/year of vehicle is not allowed to be imported until they receive all the other info + the VIN #.

Now, do i need to do all the work to find out if I can import the van if the NHTSA vehicle list does not have the 95 Plymouth Voyager on the list?


Why go through th hassle. Most likely it will be fine, but the car is worth less money than you would spend on the process.. A 95 minivan??? U could buy that van in the US for 400 dollars.


yeah, but I am using the van to import my personal household items plus my father wants to give this car to me so I dont have to purchase another one for a bit (which I would be glad to accept since I wont be working for about 2 months). It would really suck to have to return it to canada. it would be a bonus vehicle for me plus my husband and I surf and its a large enough vehicle for all our gear and my hubby is a messy guy when it comes to putting his stuff away.

I just dont know if its all worth the work. I need someone who has some knowledge in this situation
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-16 01:10:00
Canadaa unique situation: importing vehicle
I'm really confused about importing vehicle.

I had to get rid of my leased vehicle. My father wants to give me his 1995 Plymouth Voyager mini van. I looked on the NHTSA - List of non conforming vehicles eligible for importation and the mini van is not on the list.

Right now, the van is under my father's name. I wanted to get a letter from the manufacturer to find out if i can import it. but they said they need the registration for the van, the owner's name (which my father is going to transfer to me if I can import it), the person importing it and etc. They said they can't tell me if this model/year of vehicle is not allowed to be imported until they receive all the other info + the VIN #.

Now, do i need to do all the work to find out if I can import the van if the NHTSA vehicle list does not have the 95 Plymouth Voyager on the list?
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-16 00:48:00
CanadaI called NVC this morning
I am guessing you're going to get an interview about late June maybe early July based on your timeline. I couldnt stay in Vancouver longer than today (actually.lol) as my employment ended yesterday so I went for K3. but the CR1 is taking quite a bit longer in Montreal and I wasnt waiting around until June or July - ish.

but looks like you are more patient than I am. dont worry, it will come soon. meanwhile start preparing everything you need to do for your move.

*note: dont cancel your medical until you leave or for sure know you're not going to need it. BC med will not reinstate your BC Med even though you're still a canadian citizen or have an active address or travel back and forth for work. You will start over as a new resident and wait 3 months. I had to do this as i was waiting for a special surgeon's appointment and was granted for a july appointment and I tried to get my med happening again (even tho i asked for an appointment way before i requested for my bc med cancelled) and they arent very nice about it.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-24 08:22:00
CanadaMOVING TODAY ... YAY!
so... im pretty tired to give a full review of my POE experience but what is a I551? I dont know if i'm suppose to get a I551 card. But the officers told me that i should receive it soon and that I'm going to get an appointment for my biometrics. They also said once I get the card that, that is my green card and Im permanent resident. I'm confused. the officers totally confused me. and I asked them about AOS and i thought thats when the biometrics interview is done and that I cant work until then. They said I can go to an office in Tukwila, WA and walk in(?) and apply for EAD. But they said once I receive the card, then I can start working? I'm totally confused. but I just shut my mouth and i just wanted to be on the road that I didnt ask too many questions b/c i got a stamp.lol
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-25 05:30:00
CanadaMOVING TODAY ... YAY!
thanks girls. VJ has been so helpful with everything. someone has always been through the same situation as I have. its very helpful.

I know my husband's house like the back of my hand. lol. b/c i am there every weekend, i'm the one that has to organize and clean it b/c he works so late in the night and gets home at 1am. by the time i get there on friday night, he doesnt want to do any housework in the weekend b/c he just wants to hang out with me. awww so cute. lol.

I will do a lot of driving though and thank god I have a vehicle or i'll die!!! I asked him how long it would take to oregon as I'm looking forward to do some tax free shopping day trip. the town does have the feel where i just lay @ the beach all day and not do anything. i hope i dont get bored of that. I get up at 7-8am every morning and ready to do things. i drive my husband crazy when he is sleeping and i'm on my laptop working or reading something. haha. i'm thinkin about starting new hobbies but i dont think i'll ever get to it.

what have you guys done that you didnt do in canada before?
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-24 11:50:00
CanadaMOVING TODAY ... YAY!
I feel the "yay" but i'm still not getting that butterfly in stomach excitement. maybe b/c i see my hubby every weekend. ha! things like this never hit me until a couple days later. Saying goodbye to friends wasnt hard b/c it doesnt feel like its goodbye. I guess that's just me. I didnt cry or anything. I did get teary eyed when I was stuck in construction traffic and it was a nice sunny day and telling myself how i'm going to miss this city. but that was it. i think i'll cry b/c i have nothing to do for the next couple of months and i'm not used to it. I have never gone on vacation and im a workaholic. lol. what a big adjustment.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-24 10:56:00
CanadaMOVING TODAY ... YAY!
Im so thankful that my consulate process is done. whew. I look @ the big picture, the paper work was the easy part. the hard part for me was moving and getting everything prepared and trying to be patient not to move w/o being prepared. I always have to create a plan B for everything I do. but, that being said, I learned so much about the policies and rules of being a resident. sheesh. they dont make it easy eh?

I guess I'll have a hella of a lot of time being on VJ now that my "forced" vacation starts tomorrow. laughing.gif

i think I am prepared and ready to go. just gotta do one last grocery and bring my comfort food. where I'm going, they dont have any oriental grocery stores. ahhh! not good not good.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-24 10:30:00
CanadaPOE Experience - fun but left me w/ questions
ok good. i am still going to send the EAD tomorrow. My MIL said worry about it on monday and call USCIS or NVC. lol. like those ppl are going to help answer my questions. I told her I would rather hear other people's answers on VJ.

coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-26 23:12:00
CanadaPOE Experience - fun but left me w/ questions
i know the complete process for K3. What is confusing me is the border officers told me I should be receiving my I 551 shortly and that will allow me to work and live in US as PERMANENT resident.

So if someone can tell me exactly what should be done at this point since I think my POE process wasnt the way it was suppose to be done.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-25 22:17:00
CanadaPOE Experience - fun but left me w/ questions
ok so if the guy was processing me for CR1 do i just continue with what I know about K3 and my plans? I just dont want to make it harder for me later b/c the POE screwed up or anything.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-25 18:59:00
CanadaPOE Experience - fun but left me w/ questions
I thought i'd just make a post just for my POE experience.

i crossed the Blaine truck crossing border @ about 8pm. I got the first check point. I have been crossing the border as a weekend regular so I started explaining to my sister that the first officer we're going to get is in training cuz there were 2 people in the booth and it was taking quite a bit longer than normal. I explained to the trainee that I have 2 vehicles traveling w/ me and gave them our passports and told us to go to the office. I parked my car and the officer in the parking area was kinda a sarcastic mean guy. My sister was like "what the?" lol. i told her to ignore it. that guy is sarcastic and friendly for what you're gonna get. lol

The first guy I got in the office had a mean look and all. I explained why I was there. Then he looked a bit confused and walked around. I told my family that he's either going for break/or his shift ends in 5 mins OR he just doesnt know how to process my K3. turns out he's going to be on his break soon. lol. So he passed me on to this really friendly and helpful guy. While I was waiting with my dad and sister I had explained, there were a bunch of officers standing around and not busy at all so they started talkin to us and asking us about my K3 experience and all that. We cracked jokes here and there. It was fun.

However I think i got an oldschool border patrol b/c I wasnt familiar with the process he was explaining to me. Basically, he said my papers were fine and its just going to take a couple of minutes. They took my finger print and took my picture. then while he was filling out papers, he said I didnt even need to take the fingerprints on my case so its less papers and its going to be faster process.

When everything was good to go, he explained that the I-94A card I have stapled on my passport is a temporary green card until I receive my I-551 in the mail. the I-94A card expires on April 23, 2011. Once I receive the I-551 card then I am a permanent resident in US. Then I asked them if i need to apply for AOS? and the other guy said yes once the 2 year is done. Then I asked them if I need to apply for EAD? then the guy said you can walk in in the Tukwila office. then I asked them what the process was with the paper work b/c at this point I'm pretty sure I'm not suppose to get a I-551 GC but I didnt want to ask too many questions and thought I can just research it b/c im pretty confused myself @ this point and I'll just roll with the punches. They said they will take my paperwork, forward it to the closest Service Centre, they will look at it, I'll be contacted with biometrics interview, and get my GC. While Im waiting, the card they stapled is what allows me to be in US. Then I asked them about importing my car and the guy almost forgot to tell me about the compliance letter and i reminded him. lol. he told me i can import my vehicle in Seattle but he doesnt know if they do inspection. He said they do inspection and that its better for me to go there and it takes 5 minutes.

Ok great, i leave and they said congratulations and enjoy my stay. took 30 mins.

Now here are my questions based on that temporary card:
1. I was going to send my application for EAD on monday. Do i still need to do that?
2. I am filing AOS on january, and applying EAD first. What do I do next based on the information you just read?
3. I was going to apply for EI today but its weekend. Can I just do the online application?
4. What does I-94A card let me do in US? on the back of the card, it says - WARNING: a nonimmigrant who accepts unauthorized employment is subject to deportation. Important Retain this permit in your possession; you must surrender it when you leave the US. Failure to do so may delay your entry into the US in the future.
It says multiple entry visa?

helpsmilie.gif


coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-25 11:45:00
CanadaI LOVE MY MIL!!!
My MIL is so freakin awesome. on her 50th bday, that lady could hangggg. she was the last one standing and she could party for sure. more than I can. lol. although, her young personality get on the way of her goals. She is very laid back. She has helped me a lot with trying to find ways to get my point across everytime my husband and I disagree. She said he's a mama's boy so I have to change that and she keeps apologizing b/c she blames herself. lol
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-24 12:27:00
CanadaDoes she have the right to be upset???What should I do?
to OP:

I have sent you a message. I know people are bashing you. yes you are stupid and you're still making excuses and you need to stop that b/c thats why people are still posting the way they are.

bottom line is i think you came here for advice to save your relationship. sorry that you havent received any from your thread.(- oh except from anh map)- good advice

So i have sent you some. and hope others would help you instead of stating the obvious that you F*<ked up tremendously.

Edited by borderdriver, 27 April 2009 - 07:22 PM.

coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-27 19:20:00
CanadaCONFESSION TIME....NEED ADVISE!!!
Poprocks the paper work for AOS will be a breeze. I met K1 applicant @ the consulate and she said she was quoted $5000 to do all the paper work from the start to the end (AOS) and it took her 14 months just to get a consulate interview. Think about all the $$$ you'll save. and when you receive the paperwork, you get to see it first! its exciting.

Also.. if you dont know how to break up with your lawyer... check this book http://www.amazon.co...r/dp/0061646628

I was watching Good Morning america and they said its a great book about how to break up with your doctor or your kid's mom b/c she maybe annoying. lol. teaches you how not to ruin the childrens friendship when you break up with that mom. lol.

Edited by borderdriver, 24 April 2009 - 11:05 AM.

coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-04-24 11:03:00
CanadaQuestion about Medical Vaccination
My Vaccination record copy from my medical exam says "For use is Canada only" on the top of the page. If I need to transfer my vaccination record so I can adjust my status, Can I fax/send this copy to the texas office and have them transfer my info?
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-05-09 21:27:00
CanadaThe end of a very tiring week. Kind of a whining session really. Bring yr own cheese
welcome
I know VJ has helped me a lot. Sometimes some ppl will provide you with old information but many other people here will also be able to provide you with updated information. So make sure you also do some extra research. Read up on the guides and any other tools VJ provided.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-05-08 21:34:00
CanadaVancouver Medical & Interview
landa congrats on passing the exam.

As for taxi - bring a little more just in case. It will be around that much but it may be more. if you are heading back from Vancouver downtown to Airport - take the 98 B line bus (its an express bus). you'll save more on fare and avoid the expensive taxi traffic fare. You can ask anyone in downtown or even bus drivers and they will tell you which streets the bus run. It takes you up to the airport.

you can take the taxi from the medical to consulate. But if you have time, walk. vancouver is pretty and if you dont have to sight see, this will give you a chance and you'll see some cafe's or restaurants you might want to grab a bite from. Its about 10 blocks away from each other.

Like landa said, you can bring anyone with you at the medical clinic, they just have to wait for you in the waiting room while you do their exam. Get there at 5:45am.

The clinic does groups of 4 when doing the exams.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-05-14 00:50:00
CanadaFor ppl moving to california
canadian police record does a thorough check. the RCMP check is what you need to be more specific about.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-05-14 14:53:00
CanadaContemplating Divorce
i guess its just disappointing to see one is stepping out of the relationship when you've come far with the immigration process and not give the relationship time to grow. With the amount of time that Sean has spent in US, it just make him seem like he didnt even give it a chance.

edit: i thought Sean didnt spend too much time in US. my mistake. i went back to the original post.

but something bothered me..... he wants to go back to canada for 3 weeks when he gets his GC? is he just trying to get the GC?

Edited by borderdriver, 14 May 2009 - 12:29 PM.

coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-05-14 12:26:00
CanadaContemplating Divorce
QUOTE (thetreble @ May 14 2009, 09:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Tankgurl38 @ May 14 2009, 11:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So silly question....how can you be the controlling person who took him away from everything he knows and loves in Canada, when he willinging went down there and completed the Visa process so he could be with you in the US? Crazy!


True. But I know I have felt that way many times since I've been here so I'm not going to judge him for feeling that way either, whether right or wrong.

Hope it works out for ya, Ruby. Keep your chin up.


i have felt this way too but what Sean needs to realize is that he's an adult who made this decision.

as my counsellor told me - there's a lot of "I" & finger pointing and "You" in this situation and the 2 people involved will need to change that to "we".

Ruby - i was in the same situation. Go to the counsellor even if Sean doesnt want to go. it will really help you. My ex said he would go to counselling and wouldnt go w/ me on appointment days. And he also wanted to leave the relationship and he did. I couldnt do anything about my relationship, but I went to the counsellor for myself cuz i was tired of being unhappy. At that point, all you can help is yourself. it was such a good feeling to get things out and find out what was really bothering me and being able to deal with it. its a great feeling when you get to the happy point again. I know people have mentioned that counsellors prescribe unnecessary pills/etc. My counsellor was a retired nurse (not doctor) so she said she couldnt prescribe medication and her practice was to do it naturally. Plus she has experience in observing suicides, alcohol & drug abuse and depression as she watched her father kill himself w/ a shotgun. So she dedicated her career in helping people get through these type of situations. I hope you find a counsellor as good as mine. No matter how the world around feels like its crumbling, going to the counsellor will help you get by. This is a good move for you.


coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-05-14 11:49:00
CanadaContemplating Divorce
do not blame yourself and give yourself a break. take it one day at a time.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-05-10 23:41:00
CanadaContemplating Divorce
Im sorry to hear this. But you're not alone. I am guessing your husband is greatly affected by the big change. On my first day of moving, my husband and I had a HUGE fight which resulted in angry hurtful words and bringing up the D word. I brought up the D word. Im guessing your husband felt like he gave up a lot of things he really valued. but he needs to realize that this was his decision. he willingly immigrated there to join you. I know my argument with my husband at the fight was i gave up so many things to be with him and I'm not getting any understanding that I had given up so many valuable things and he says he understands but he wasnt saying the right things to make me understand that he knows how i feel. it felt like he knows i gave up a lot of things to move but the way he was communicating with me was telling me "you're here now, so live with it". It made me angry and told him i didnt sign up for this life and I have discussed this with him numerous times that I will need full support & understanding and I would rather have a divorce and salvage whatever i have left in canada instead of being treated the way I was feeling. at the end, I put my guard down and talked to someone who has been married for a long time. They were able to give me insight on situations from thick and thin. and i agreed w/ my hubby that the D word was never to be brought up again in silly fights.

Anyways, divorce is too early in your situation. I suggest speaking to him when he is not angry. Something tells me he has his guard up for some reason. Find out why. Men usually respond more and open up when they are in a happy state of mind. They are more willing to open up. so wait for that moment. usually a sincere touch in a heated argument can calm a person down too. If you cannot wait and this is killing you, I suggest going to a therapist. You need to do this either way b/c of what has happened to you. It doesnt mean you are crazy but you need a person outside the box to make you realize or solve what you cannot see. I dont think you will get this help from your husband. If anything, I think its pressuring him and probably stressing him. At the end, its up to you to get over your problem and find peace. No one else can give this to you. Your husband can only help comfort you but he will not be able take that scar away. I know this b/c i have been through this emotional rollercoaster. I went to see a personal counsellor that helped me talk out my problems. When I was seeking help and attention from my partner at that time, it made our relationship worse than ever. (b/c i was too needy as he stated). When I went to the counsellor, she made me realize that I was not confident and at peace with myself. I went through an angry state in life at that point b/c my counsellor made me realize that I was creating the negative energy but I was the only one to have the power to change my path and no one else can do this for me.

I hope you and your husband can get through this. both of you have been through this immigration process and communication is the key. It will take time so be patient. baby steps


coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-05-09 18:04:00
CanadaThe internet and you
I think VJ is the most mildest forum I've ever been on. I love it that people act maturely (well - canada forum that is.lol)
I used to be on this event/night life/clubbing website and it was like highschool. total mean girl movie made in real life. There's your jocks, the cheerleaders, the chess club, the artsy group, and the witch. Everyone is mean online. 90% of them were able to say the things they said behind a computer. I say one wrong thing or what i call an "opinion" (or anyone for that matter), it only takes one person to say something and the whole clique gangs up. If i try and go along with it, i end up back pedaling. so I just stop.

Its sad b/c all these people have met each other in real life and they will make fun of them from their weight to how their dressed or someone's nose or make fun of their job if they are working @ GAP. its funny b/c my user name was "im_on_alesse". haha. so if a member didnt know my name, they will call that out in public. its pretty funny. well... my conclusion, i think everyone were all geeks, it just depends who's geekier. but a couple of them - probably 5%- were truly genuine people.
coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-05-22 23:49:00
CanadaDinner Dress - Ladies which one would you choose?
QUOTE (Misty1979 @ May 20 2009, 02:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Number 5 just looks like one of those kinds of dresses that no matter how skinny you are, once you put that thing on, you're destined to look fat.


exactly what i was thinking. I think #5 is the prettiest dinner dress out of all but once you put it on, it might not be how it is on the pictures. that's why i think #6 would be the best one, its casual but b/c its long, it can be dressy. Pair it up with the right tall heels and accessories and you'll be golden.

Edited by borderdriver, 20 May 2009 - 08:52 PM.

coldwatersurfFemaleCanada2009-05-20 20:51:00