ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & Proceduresuscis online case status
There is also a 'last updated' column with a date, if this date changes then you received what VJers refer to as a 'touch'. It means that someone at USCIS accessed your file for whatever reason. If you filed your application following the instructions to a T, then you most likely won't get an RFE. Either way it can be addictive to check the site. Best wishes on a speedy process.
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-04-30 08:24:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresWhy I can't pay the AOS and IV bill at the same time?
They can be generated at the same time and ready to be paid one at a time online. You just do the process twice in a row, and it's considered paying both at the same time... seperately. Hope that was clear.
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-04-27 21:31:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresVSC transfers to CSC in January 2008, Please post here
That does seem logical. However, I think they still have to wait for 3 years as a resident (I'm not clear on if it's just 3 years married to USC or 3 years living in US) until being able to apply for naturalization so it shouldn't make so much of a difference to them.
I swear sometimes I just think there are some really lazy workers with files piled all over their desks... it's horrible to imagine but... there seems to be no reasoning behind some cases speed and others sloth.
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-04-30 10:09:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresVSC transfers to CSC in January 2008, Please post here
I am just really surprised that there are still some jan transfers left to get approval. I feel really strongly that it seems unfair.

I was really surprised that our approval came so fast and therefore wasn't prepared with getting the beneficiary's original birth certificate and police report in a timely manner. I had to wait 10 days at nvc while waiting for the PCC to be issued and the package with his original to be mailed. That was definitely frustrating and if you all prepare then you can avoid that. Best to focus on what you have the power to effect.
If you are prepared you CAN get through NVC in 15-20 days! And then interviews will be scheduled. I'm sure it must be frustrating, but maybe they are doing your AP now? I've seen names being checked in different places recently as opposed to being checked after the interview. So just try to remain optimistic.... and I would definitely prepare for asking for a service request and sending the official request for inquiry with signed release form to your local representative. This will also help you at the consular level.... Best wishes to all.
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-04-29 21:18:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & Proceduresds3032-scanned and email-sent from USA -acceptable?
I emailed an attachment of the scanned filled in form. NVC accepted it. I think they would accept an express mailed scanned copy too, you could email the attachment and express mail it too.
Best wishes.
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-04-23 00:53:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresSuing USCIS with WOM for I-130 (19 mo delay)
Oh ya Raab... that's horrible! I really hope that you get satisfaction somehow. I haven't read much about the WoM so I can't advise you on that. And what is a LUD?
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry your family is going through this and I hope resolution to your case comes soon
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-04-30 10:21:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresNOA2 Week of January 20th
Congrats MVP and best wishes for your interview.
I posted on this thread a while ago and didn't get added to the spreadsheet but I am happy to say our visa was approved and I'll be meeting my husband in Pittsburgh on May 6th, Godwilling. smile.gif I did detail his interview in the timeline so check it out if you're curious.

Best wishes for all....
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-04-27 21:49:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresAre vows in church always concidered legal wedding?
helpsmilie.gif Attached File  roomus.jpg   16.04KB   4 downloads Please let me clarify a couple things from my original post that were not clearly explained... Our plan was to marry legally in the US from the beginning, we were looking for way to demonstrate to her family and friends our committment before leaving. It is a matter of respect for their feelings, and the fact that we probably won't be able to return for a year or so....Originally it was her idea because she is not a member of the Catholic church. She is a member of a small Christian church and she thought her church could have a small ceremony that would demonstrate our love and committment. Something that would allow us to show respect to her family and would not be concidered a "legal" marriage. We were'nt trying to be tricky or anything. The family and friends all know that we are getting legally married in the US, cause that has been the plan all along. So I misspoke when I said I didnt want the Philippine and US governments to find out, what I was trying to ask was, what is the threshold where vows become "legal"? I am new to this journey and my question was phrased incorrectly because I did'nt think it through before I wrote the post. I was only trying to find some way to make everyone happy...that would be honest and within the laws. Thanks for all the help.....

Attached Files


anindonMalePhilippines2008-12-06 15:59:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresAre vows in church always concidered legal wedding?
We were thinking about getting married at her church in the Philippines for her family and friends, and then coming to US the following week on the K1 visa. Then, within 90 days getting married in USA. She is not a Catholic so we hoped that the church would go along with us and allow the marriage to take place but not report it to the Philippine govt. It sounds like it might work and make everyone happy but I am concerned that somehow the US govt. would find out after we wed in this country and then void the marriage and visa. I am afraid that they will say that we lied on forms and prosecute us also. Does anyone have insight into this topic?
anindonMalePhilippines2008-12-04 23:46:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)Emailing Choice of Agent
I had my husband fill it out, I made the code with the case number as per the wiki from LingChe's guide, and he scanned it and sent it to my email. I emailed it to NVC before the DS 3032 was generated and when they opened the email they must have generated the DS 3032 and accepted it in the same process. And it was from my own email account. Maybe it helped that my husband named me as agent.
Just make sure when you send the email that you include all the info that NVC asks for with phone inquiries. NAME DOB for all petitioner/beneficiary's.
Hope this helps.
Peace,
Mariah

PS I got both fee bills at the same time and paid them both, now I'm just waiting for two documents from husband before I mail in my packets smile.gif
May the force be with us all wink.gif

MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-27 04:50:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)Order in which they schedule interviews..
Sorry, I think priority date has to do with family based visas that do not automatically receive a visa upon approval, they are put on a list to wait for a visa to become available to them based on order they were applied for. USC spouses, parents, and children never have to wait because visas are always available to them. However, permanent citizen's relatives or USC's brothers, sisters and so forth get a priority date once they get to NVC.

That's from what I understand.

Peace,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-18 01:58:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)Health Insurance for the Immigrant...
So wondering if getting some sort of health insurance for the immigrant would help in proving the intent to support them. And if anyone has any knowledge of where to get such a policy, or if there is a good specialization for health insurance for people who aren't here yet..... share the knowledge?

Peace,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-26 01:30:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)NVC online pmnt and document cover sheet
There are two different cover sheets for each package, I sent both my AOS (I864) AND IV (DS 230) together after I printed off the cover sheet for each payment fee and placed them as the front pages of each respective package.

Good Luck,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-02-06 01:22:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)Affidavit of support from a joint sponsor
Most other embassies have a special courier which is the only way to deliver documents to them. In Jordan the courier is Aramex. I don't know which courier it is for Pakistan, can't you email the embassy, or call to find out what method they prefer to have documents taken to them. You might have to mail the document directly to the beneficiary and he/she will have to take it to the embassy.
And yes you do NOT have to pay the fee twice.

Good Luck,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-02-08 20:30:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)March interview dates...
Wow, and I was just setting up to send both my completed AOS and IV packages overnight tomorrow AM. And I was hoping DH will get a March interview date.... You've been waiting since last year... have you called NVC?

I wonder if it depends on the consulate where the interview takes place....

Peace and Good Luck,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-02-03 00:24:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresNo touches or approvals
Ya Lisa...

I saw someone posting on the 'moved to CSC' thread that their case wasn't moved and later cases were and they held out hope that his case was just on the verge of approval, AND SO IT WAS. Now yours is probably set for approval tomorrow smile.gif I pray for you, and I so hope you'll keep us posted about how NVC and Jordan Consulate goes, since it's near to my heart... ana zaweege safare smile.gif

Peace and Prayer,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2008-12-22 21:49:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresWhat is the better visa route- K-3 or CR1?
Well her papers don't need to be stamped... signed and dated yes. And collecting papers before you get approved is what makes for a quicker NVC process. It is possible that at the interview they would request a more recent pay stub, but you could always request that when/if they request that. But it sounds like you have a practically unwilling co sponsor, so maybe you should get her to do it now before she chickens out, of course if she chickened out and then won't supply any more papers if requested then you're put the press to look for another ASAP. Really good luck to you.
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-03-21 03:54:00
K-3 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresWhat is the better visa route- K-3 or CR1?
I'm also thankful that my attempt to do a K3 failed due to me jumping the gun and mailing it in with the I 130, it seemed that since I was only in CR1 status that my case got sent to California and hence got faster processing, while it seems the K3's of the same timeframe didn't get sent and some are still awaiting their approvals. Also, it's cheaper by about 600$ plus my DH will supposedly be able to get his SSN and hopefully (Godwilling) start working within a couple weeks after arrival as opposed to waiting for months if going the K3 route. K3 just doesn't seem to be shorter anymore.

If your co sponsor is getting antsy, you can just have them fill out the I864 now and make copies of all required documents and tell them thanks a lot. Exactly, why are they annoyed? It's only been a month?
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-03-19 21:41:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionBlood & Medical Tests
I was just reading up some info on the medical exams.. they are mainly looking for contagious diseases of public health import. It did read in the panel physician guidelines that if any test is inconclusive due to current illness the appt may be postponed until health allows for accurate tests.
Having a sore throat would raise your white blood cell count which might or might not be an issue and antibiotics shouldn't be an issue IMHO. The big diseases they are looking for are AIDS, TB and other STD's, mental health disorders and drug addictions. They do an antibody screen for AIDS which could possibly be affected by elevated white blood counts... but TB is a chest x ray, and the others have blood and visual screenings. So... just bring documentation of what you were diagnosed with recently and the prescription and it should solve the problem. If that would interfere with AIDS testing then they'll reschedule you after your dosing of Abx is finished.

Peace,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-02-08 02:10:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionTotally nervous last minute questioning....
I don't know I'm so uptight about it. Now I noticed the site says to take passport photos for him AND me. I submitted mine with i130 and I think one to NVC and I don't have anymore, I think I'm gonna puke! How am I ever going to work tomorrow???
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-04-20 21:29:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionTotally nervous last minute questioning....
So I happened to check the embassy website info on what to bring to the beneficiary interview again as husbands interview is wednesday and they changed it and now it's changed to read that he has to bring the english translations.
Well of course we had the english translation for the marriage paper and the only one which isn't is his birth certificate, it was submitted and accepted in arabic by NVC and his interview paper checklist for documents reads like this:

OF-169 ,,,,,,,,, Form not needed
DS-230-I ,,,,,,,,,,, Yes/Document complete/reviewed
DS-230-II ,,,,,,,,,,, Yes/Document complete/reviewed
PASSPORT ,,,,,,,,,, Yes/Document complete/reviewed
BIRTH CERTIFICATE ,,,,,,, Original Document Received
ADOPTION ,,,, Form not needed
MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE ,,,,,,,,,,,, Original Document Received
MARRIAGE TERMINATION ,,,,,,,,,,, Form not needed
COURT RECORDS ,,,,,,,,,, Form not needed
FINANCIAL EVIDENCE ,,,,,,,,,,,,, Yes/Document complete/reviewed
MILITARY RECORDS ,,,,,,,,,, Form not needed
JORDAN POLICE CERTIFICATE ,,,,,,,,,,,, Yes/Document complete/reviewed
IRS WAIVER ,,,,,,,,,, Form not needed
PHOTOGRAPH ,,,,,,,,,,, Yes/Document complete/reviewed
PETITIONER MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE .......... Form not needed
PETITIONER BIRTH CERTIFICATE ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Form not needed


Now I'm wondering why just the marriage and birth certificate say something other than YES/Complete.
I did submit the english translation of the marriage paper to USCIS, but was stupid and hadn't made a copy to send with the other original I sent to NVC so that was just arabic, along with his birth certificate.
I'm just wondering if I should have him make last minute translations of both tomorrow to take to the interview with all the other papers and copies and NOA's and pictures and proofs that we've put together... ugh.

Help?

Edited by MsMariah, 20 April 2009 - 09:01 PM.

MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-04-20 20:59:00
US Embassy and Consulate DiscussionBeware of vaccine fees on exam day
Yes, definitely. My husband had to pay I think 60+ dinar (85$) for two injections from the panel physician. He was really sad and said he shouldn't have said he didn't know if he had them or not, they did no titers or anything to check if he really needed any or not.
But you know the list of what they require is super huge and I'm surprised they would just take someone's word for what they had or not, strange....
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-04-20 21:24:00
Middle East and North AfricaUpdate on SIL in Gaza
Amen

Like you, my SIL is in Gaza City with most of my husbands relatives... nobody has been able to contact her for 6 days sad.gif My husband is a wreck and asking me to move with him now, being overwhelmed by feeling helpless...both of us for each other and for all Gaza refugees.

Peace,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-07 22:51:00
Middle East and North AfricaApproved! I130 NOA2 in 101 days...
Thanks everyone and congrats Dreamlove smile.gif

I didn't actually apply for him with refugee status as he was born in Jordan but you know still treated as a refugee there......

Peace,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-13 16:08:00
Middle East and North AfricaApproved! I130 NOA2 in 101 days...
shukran shukran!!!!
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-12 23:06:00
Middle East and North AfricaApproved! I130 NOA2 in 101 days...
I am just soo surprised it happened so fast, now I'm not ready with the rest of the papers for NVC....
is this usually the fast part and the rest of the process will take long? I thought it was the opposite. Oh my gosh....
Was anyone else here approved so quickly... maybe because he's from Gaza they took heart on his refugee status, oh hamdleallah... HAMDLEALLAH.

Peace,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-12 22:15:00
Middle East and North AfricaHe's hurting and now he hurt me.
I do think most of my problem is related to self sabotage that I can barely notice until I've already done it. I think I mentioned before that I haven't had the sweetest healthiest experiences before and my husband knows all about everything. I have no ideations that any marriage with me in it will be easy whatsoever. I have no illusions that he is "perfect" for me but I know we are commited to each other. Maybe that sounds worse to you than it does to me, for me it's being very REAL. I guess if REAL isn't appropriate for immigration and that everything must be glossed over to perfection, then it won't happen.

I definitely didn't buy a husband or a boyfriend, it was definitely an analogy which wasn't referring to money as much as true life costs. I figured it would get taken the wrong way which is why I begged forgiveness in advance, now I think I've said enough on this thread.

At the moment I started this thread I was crying out in desperation because my support wasn't able to support himself, some people came to offer encouragement and I appreciate that. Others came to offer warnings and I assure you all that I can think of 50 more horrible things that could happen than all of you put together, but as a coping mechanism I better try to focus on the positive. Now, I'll refuse to regret spilling my guts here because really so many have been so helpful and I'll just remain thankful.



Peace,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-16 15:37:00
Middle East and North AfricaHe's hurting and now he hurt me.
QUOTE (Staashi @ Jan 16 2009, 12:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (MsMariah @ Jan 15 2009, 09:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
After six months of marriage...and two months of living together, we haven't had any time at all to really know each other. We talked for about one year before that and commited to save ourselves for the other just 1 year ago, almost to the day.... smile.gif We'll get the time to know each other soon enough........ You might not want to let USCIS/DOS know this fact, as they see this as being a potential red flag in your relationship. You two, by this point, should be very comfortable and open with each other in all aspects of your relationship - just like any other married couple. yes.gif

and I'll be completely inappropriate, Allah forgive me, this marriage is still cheaper than my last boyfriend. hehehe wow.gif Obviously, you haven't gotten very far in the whole USCIS process (or maybe studied it very well as to what you're going to be facing), because this is probably one of the most expensive things that you and your spouse will undertake together outside of buying a car, house or maybe new furniture. Good luck with it!



Well until he gets here it will be just about 1000$ for the papers, I don't count flights because I like to travel every year. But even if I did it's only going to be 4000$ (including his) and compared to my last boyfriend with medical and court costs and time and all the things he took from me, then it's much cheaper and easier. For this simple case, I don't need a lawyer. It's all about perspective.

And he and I are very open and honest with each other, most everyone I know will allow each other a few bad days. I'm glad you and your partner got so intimately knowledgeable about each other in a relatively short time, but as far as I know the interview questions they tend to ask are things that we definitely know about each other (which isn't what I was referring to in saying 'we will have lots of time to get to REALLY know each other') I meant more deep philosophical and spiritual things. We do talk every day by phone or internet. The only red flag I see is that my husband and I are depressed, and I've not read anything that bars any sort of immigrant on that basis. But thanks for your warnings, really helpful stuff... blink.gif

Peace,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-16 14:23:00
Middle East and North AfricaHe's hurting and now he hurt me.
Fruitcake lady: LOL I'm not muslim though... I do appreciate all the world religions like fine pieces of art.

Elkfarmer: While I appreciate your overall sentiment, I don't think it's healthy to worship people, and certainly don't want to be 'worshipped'. Also, I love living here, but I'm a little wary of nationalistic ego. So when another poster mentioned that I'll never truly understand, that's true. I know when 9/11 happened I was a literal basket case. It took a long time, and it's mostly why I wanted to learn about what is really going on 'over there'.

Virtual wife: wow, you are really great at expressing your very beautiful viewpoin, I agree 100%


Anyway, for an update. He finally understood the significance of the I130 approval. He took the day off and ran around doing things to get that police certificate and made plans for a date with the scanner. He talked to me for so long yesterday and said that he knew he was not good with me the day before and that he hopes I will be patient. He didn't apologize but I don't think one was necessary. He was acting even more like normal today and actually smiled, but did say that he wishes his laughter was coming from all the way inside. I'm pleased with all that he did to get these papers ready today. I feel better when he isn't acting so depressed.

Another thing, when I say that 'another relation that isn't love', doesn't it speak about something wrong with me more than with him?
I tried to warn him...... smile.gif

After six months of marriage...and two months of living together, we haven't had any time at all to really know each other. We talked for about one year before that and commited to save ourselves for the other just 1 year ago, almost to the day.... smile.gif We'll get the time to know each other soon enough........

and I'll be completely inappropriate, Allah forgive me, this marriage is still cheaper than my last boyfriend. hehehe

Sorry, I keep saying more and more awful things, mostly I am just being wry, my husband thinks I have a pure heart. It's really his which is pure. I love him like my big toe. lol oh I can't wait to tell him that and see if he'll laugh.

Peace,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-15 21:37:00
Middle East and North AfricaHe's hurting and now he hurt me.
Hey All I just speed read through all these posts and I'm really thankful for everyone who replied. I definitely was tired and feeling dejected, at that point I just wanted to hold him and squeeze some of his stress out by my own hands and it frustrates me too.

He definitely is respectful to me but as someone said he is not able to handle his own emotions at the moment, and I don't think he's ever felt adept at dealing with me crying however much he tried. When we could just reach each other it was a little better. Having just cam calls makes the burn just a little more than having just voice.

I was fine at work, and able to talk a little to co-workers, and he appeared directly when I got home to tell me that he slept for 18 hours, didn't go to work, and wishes he could sleep more and just sleep through everything so he doesn't have to worry anymore. Then his net shut off and he called to say he's working on it, so now I got caught up on everyones posts. I'll post more direct answers after he and I talk more.

Sometimes I think I can't go on, but I guess it's Allah who helps me not be able to quit. The problem is not that he is abusive really, it's more like we are both wounded people and not exactly the best at being exactly what the other needs. He's far far more patient and steady than me, but he's so so depressed (me just a little less depressed). I know for sure that he won't change from who he is, but the environment here is very different.. I worry if he will be able to thrive or if he will drown more. It's my fear, and I'm usually too honest with him, which I'm sure isn't very reassuring.

Ganja girl, when you listed the things about post traumatic, it's funny how I can relate them to me. I definitely struggled with it, from some horrible things which I chose in my life. However, the horrible things in his life, he never had a choice, but he didn't actually have violence perpetrated to or near him physically, it's all what he relates personally to while watching on satellite. I think it's our dividing line and maybe I am just as emotionally unsupportive of him as he is of me. Plus I have to take into consideration that due to his novice grasp of english, that what he says it not always what he means. And what I say to him is not always understood how I meant it. Which happens just a little more easily than with a couple who both speak the same native tongue.
Either way, he is not garbage, he is a worthy guy, he's not perfect for me, but the same can be applied to me for him.

I shouldn't expect him to have more faith in the relationship than I do, and I really don't know... how to do that at all. So bottom line, I can't give up until I get abused, which believe me... giving up will happen if that day comes.
Ok, wow that's longer than I thought....

Peace for now all,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-14 16:54:00
Middle East and North AfricaHe's hurting and now he hurt me.
QUOTE (faryan @ Jan 14 2009, 01:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (MsMariah @ Jan 14 2009, 01:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (faryan @ Jan 14 2009, 12:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
rose.gif Im sorry that he's taking it out on you.. sometimes when we are so down its always those who are closest to us that we exposed our innermost feelings too, snapped at, etc... i do hope for u tho that he will be calm enough soon and realise that u are by his side and u feel his pain and is pained by him pushing u away.. sometimes u just have to let it run its course... take care of yourself and pamper yourself yeah? no good to have both person in a relationship be feeling crappy at the same time... coz when he is ready to receive your offer of understanding, u'd need to be free from feeling resentment/dissapointment/upset that he did reject your first few tries... luv.gif


You are true, and I'm trying to dampen my disappointment through understanding, but this has been the general theme the whole time. I have no basis on what to expect a good marriage to be like and therefore try not to expect a single thing, but I've felt crappy for soooooooo long.
Another thing, what I saw of his parents relationship is so .... not what I want either.



ugghhh.. its been a general theme? im so sorry sad.gif maybe he is indeed just naturally in sour note all the time and depressed? in my previous line of work ive been around people living in conflict areas and also refugees/internally displaced persons. not from Gaza tho. most inspiring when they have such amazing outlook in life despite this and stayed positive and invite laughter in life.... i cant imagine being in your shoes. as a spouse. id have said, snap out of it hubby or something.. hehehe.. out from victim mentality, and go out and do something positive for his people than mope and be upset.. like educate other people about the situation, join in campaigns to bring in food and help, things like that. u know what i mean?


Yes, I've felt this before, that he has a naturally sour outlook. My biggest complaint about him, to him, and my mom, was that he called other people garbage. And psych speaking, it means he really thinks that people CAN be garbage (so maybe HE could be garbage), where I disagree adamently. But I think this (general outlook) is something trained in him, as both he and sister told me that during the 7 days of mourning for his fathers brother.. I was disturbing it by not being solemn the whole time. I suggested things I was doing to make my sorrow heard about people who undergo oppression and large scale violence, which is when he said I don't know anything.
When he said it's just his people that see that, I said what about Iraqi's, Tibetans, Kashmiri's, Sudanese. He simply said it was 'your people's fault and you killed Saddam'. ####### I don't believe in capital punishment EVER. I just cried, because I know if he doesn't know me at all, he can't really love me. So.... here I am again. I married another guy who most likely will not be able to love me no matter what I do or don't do, and I'M depressed. I wish I could help him, but I know it's beyond me.


Ok Thanks, now I AM off to bed.

Peace to All,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-14 01:20:00
Middle East and North AfricaHe's hurting and now he hurt me.
QUOTE (S and S @ Jan 14 2009, 01:02 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm sorry you are going through this. I know it is not easy for him with the situation in Gaza and his family. My husband has similar problems as you can imagine. My husband was a refugee in Jordan for awhile and though his immediate family was in Jordan too, many other family members are still in Iraq. Only thing is that he doesn't blame me or push me away when he is sad about the situation there, for this I am thankful. Mostly he just accepts Iraq is gone and will never be what it was. I think that is the difference. Your husband is looking at the situation and hating that it is getting worse instead of better and not knowing how to deal with his pain and loss of hope. This is something you must work through with him or walk away from the relationship. It isn't healthy for him to just push you away. I hope he learns to open up to you and work through this. Sending you hugs rose.gif rose.gif rose.gif

Thanks, you are true. I can't talk to him anyway, he just understands so slowly. I've a history of picking people like this so I'm really not surprised. I just hate that heart achy feeling in my chest. I guess I should just go to sleep now as I have to wake up in 5 hours for work. Thanks everyone for listening and trying to help.

Peace,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-14 01:08:00
Middle East and North AfricaHe's hurting and now he hurt me.
I told my mom about it when she got home a while ago and she just blinked back some tears and started talking about those crazy buddhist love ideals like. Love isn't true unless it's without expectation. It seems like such.... a lofty idea. I don't buy it at all.

Also, he does always have to get other men's opinions, I think he never makes an opinion from his own determination. As a self determined kind of girl, it's rather.... ####### for me or disturbing.
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-14 00:59:00
Middle East and North AfricaHe's hurting and now he hurt me.
QUOTE (faryan @ Jan 14 2009, 12:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
rose.gif Im sorry that he's taking it out on you.. sometimes when we are so down its always those who are closest to us that we exposed our innermost feelings too, snapped at, etc... i do hope for u tho that he will be calm enough soon and realise that u are by his side and u feel his pain and is pained by him pushing u away.. sometimes u just have to let it run its course... take care of yourself and pamper yourself yeah? no good to have both person in a relationship be feeling crappy at the same time... coz when he is ready to receive your offer of understanding, u'd need to be free from feeling resentment/dissapointment/upset that he did reject your first few tries... luv.gif


You are true, and I'm trying to dampen my disappointment through understanding, but this has been the general theme the whole time. I have no basis on what to expect a good marriage to be like and therefore try not to expect a single thing, but I've felt crappy for soooooooo long.
Another thing, what I saw of his parents relationship is so .... not what I want either.
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-14 00:51:00
Middle East and North AfricaHe's hurting and now he hurt me.
I know, exactly my train of thought for a while, that he will definitely not like it here either. But at least in America he'll have his rights 100%. There in Jordan he's still considered a refugee, he couldn't even register the car he bought in his own name.
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-14 00:45:00
Middle East and North AfricaHe's hurting and now he hurt me.
Apart. And I told him that it sometimes feels like only our bodies got together. I guess more is too much to imagine.....
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-14 00:37:00
Middle East and North AfricaHe's hurting and now he hurt me.
Just thinking about it makes me cry. Instead of being happy for this approval, he's so morose. I know he's upset about Gaza and so am I. He marginalized my feelings because it's his 'mother' land and they're his relatives. "Now they're my relatives too." I said.
He dismissed me by saying I don't know anything, but I am so aware.
He didn't even print out his DS 3032 that I emailed him late last night so we could be prepared to go through NVC. He left his work early, fought with his brother, and just zoned out. He said nothing matters. I heard "you don't matter". I'm so sad, and I've tried so hard to not expect anything from him, it's hard though when even after giving love the best you know how you are always left feeling crappy.
He left me, crying, to lay down and go to sleep. I just don't think I'm strong enough to deal with someone who is always more depressed than me......ya raab. help...
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-14 00:31:00
Middle East and North AfricaBeautiful song written especially for Gaza
Thanks, I will tell her, I hope I get to talk to her sooner than later. Today I had to work during the time she has been able to come online since the attacks started, so I don't know if she was online today or not... my family in Jordan still isn't able to reach them in Gaza by telephones so I hope that gets restored soon too.

Peace,
Mariah
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-18 00:39:00
Middle East and North AfricaBeautiful song written especially for Gaza
I can hardly stand to watch the pictures. My cousin in law in Rafah got electric for an hour today and managed to get online, she and my sister in law are ok for now..el hamd el allah. But she told me that yesterday they bombed the UN RWA building and a hospital where her friends brother works, they're using the phosphorus shells which start a fire that can't be put out....
Her family was able to have some food saved and plenty of blankets but she told me that other families are not so 'fortunate'. She said they are dropping papers in the street that tells everyone to leave their homes.... but there is no where to go... not even UN, hospitals, schools.

She asked me if there isn't anything we (americans) can get our government to do.
MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-17 01:58:00
Middle East and North AfricaWhats going on these days?
I just don't know if I like or believe in the general premise of this idea that Jerusalem is synonomous with Israel. Is that what you meant?


MsMariahFemalePalestine2009-01-18 00:55:00