ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Asia: Southdriving lessons
QUOTE (Moksha @ Oct 4 2009, 11:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hello ,

I guess the question is , does he know how to drive ? B, How comfortable is he driving on high speed .
What i did was , I got a international Licence before i came here . And then I Just look very carefully while my wife drove me for a week or so . The first step would be getting comfortable driving on the other side . Its hard to get an idea of the clear distance and the lanes Ur driving from the other side . So make him comfortable to drive on the other side . I started driving with in the second week . What we did was in the second week I drove my wife to do grocery shopping and she would tell me advance what i need to do next , Like who have the right away and how yield . In fact she keep telling me the little thing like round way thing , meaning how to enter the round ways while she was driving me . Stop for school bus and pedestrian . all these little things did made a lots of difference for me understanding the driving difference .
Driving on the freeway is different ball game . Speed is very important . I almost got a ticket in the second month of me being here for speed he he . so advice o that part is stay under the speed limit .
The biggest difference was driving a bike here . Their is a lots of respect for bikers which is totally different here .


I'm going to err on the side of caution and say no, he doesn't know how to drive. He's probably only done it once, not very far and since he gets nervous I know he had someone else take over. He recently went for driving lessons - for 2 days....in India. He was very happy to hear that that my car does not have a clutch pedal. I learned how to drive a manual and I actually don't think he did bad at all from the things he was telling me. He's very critical of himself.

Thank you for telling me your story. I find it quite helpful. I've already been looking around at where I can get him some short distance experience to help boost his comfort level. And I think I'm going to teach him about cruise control first lol.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia10/5/2009 20:42
Asia: Southdriving lessons
I'll try not to let it get buried then lol. I did start teaching my 15 year old to drive before he went to stay with his dad. I actually took that pretty well, I didn't freak out but once when he was turning the car around and was way too close to the mailboxes and when I said....well screamed...STOP, he kept going lol. OMG..... After I thought about it, it would have just been some paint scraped off but still...my car is so pretty with all it's paint lol.

I'm really concerned about teaching him things like how to judge if your car is between the lines, how to check your side and rear mirrors, and in the state of NC he needs to know how fast he can drive a tractor down the road (I almost failed for missing that one myself lol).

I'm really kind of excited about teaching him to drive. I think he's gonna love it once he gets used to it. And I really feel like driving here, even with all the rules is going to be easier than India. He doesn't have to stop and go while people just walk out in front of your car and traffic is nowhere near as bad. Traffic only goes one direction in any given place on the road, not all directions at once. I'll make sure I come back and post our experiences too.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia10/4/2009 21:32
Asia: Southdriving lessons
When my fiancee gets here, I have to teach him how to drive like an American. He's never driven over 40km an hour, here we can drive 120 easily. He's only driven a manual car and he's used to driving on the opposite side of the car. He doesn't drive a car often as that is actually the slow way to travel in India lol.

My car is an automatic, about three times the size of his car at home and I live in the jungle as he calls it. I have to get on the interstate or take some back roads I fear would be much scarier for him hahaha....maybe this really is the jungle. I've thought about taking him to a parking lot after closing, down some of the lesser traveled roads and such just till he gets used to the car and the different driving regulations. However I would really like to hear some tips from people who have moved to the states and had to learn all these strict driving rules. (I can't wait to hear him fussing about the questions about farm vehicles on our driving test lol, that is going to be interesting because here he has to know that stuff.) Were there any tips that someone told you that you found particularly helpful? How long did you study the driving manual before you went for the test? Any useful study tips?

I would also love to hear your stories about learning to drive here.

Thanks in advance!!
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia10/4/2009 19:50
Asia: SouthPOE's from India
QUOTE (Saddle Bronc @ Nov 24 2009, 11:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
(the route I've given you is "only" as bad as going to Hartsfield)


lol "only" as bad. I have been to Dulles as well. It's nowhere near as crazy as getting to JFK. I really hope I can work all this out and find somewhere closer.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia11/24/2009 13:31
Asia: SouthPOE's from India
I don't mind Atlanta, I'm open to any options. JFK is a 2 day drive, Atlanta is only one. I have been through Atlanta many times and the traffic doesn't bother me there. Now Greensboro...has some crazy road patterns that are complicated to follow. After that Atlanta is a breeze lol. Thank you for the suggestion, I'm going to check that as well. I just need something more direct to convince him with. See what happens when you fall in love with a spoiled Punjabi lol. You have to start 2 months ahead of time to find an acceptable flight path. He's just lucky he's worth all this trouble.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia11/21/2009 19:20
Asia: SouthPOE's from India
QUOTE (Saddle Bronc @ Nov 20 2009, 05:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
An idea: how about bin the 90-day EAD entirely and book him into Charlotte/Douglas or Raleigh-Durham DIRECTLY as POE? Advantages:
  • when the 90 days runs out, his working will be hosed anyway (barring ultra-ultra-miraculous coincidence of you marrying one day after his landing, sending out I-485/I-131/I-765 packet rightaway AND USCIS processing I-765 within 89 days)
  • added expense of airfare to CLT or RDU (not touching JFK at all) much less than a domestic return to JFK for you
  • pickup journey much easier/less-painful
Drawback: he will not be able to work upon landing (but see above for neutralising factor)

Edit: go with CLT--receives Lufthansa flights from Munichand US Airways (i'll go with official name here) from CDG, Frankfurt and Gatwick.


You make a good point about the EAD expiring. About the only viable job around here that he could get quickly requires almost 2 months of training. They wouldn't even consider hiring him knowing he would only work a month and then have to quit. So if he gets any kind of job, it's not going to pay enough to make it worthwhile for us because I work crappy hours and I would have to drive him everywhere or pay for bus service. That wouldn't be so bad but could easily eat up his paycheck quickly anyway. So it's kind of pointless to try to get him a quicky type job. I think instead it would be more beneficial to let him spend his days applying and adjusting to life here. He's going to be in for a serious culture shock. He's from a very busy and crowded city and I live in the jungle as he says...which translates to a town where your next door neighbor is about 2 blocks away. The closest store is 2 miles away...yeah I need to move lol....he's going to go stir crazy.

I have no intention of getting married the day after he gets here lol. That would be crazy. I love him to death, I don't feel that rushed. 90 days is more than enough to throw together a small wedding (especially since I'm already working on the finer details and purchasing) with all my friends and family and I am not doing a courthouse wedding. I have plans for this event. I'm going to thoroughly enjoy it.

And as he always tells me, money doesn't matter, his parents are going to pay for that thing because it's their duty. (Meaning they are paying all his expenses related to this visa because that is how they do lol.) I think he would feel so much better flying somewhere close to me and then we can go home than having to fly for 2 days then sit in a vehicle for 2 days. That would completely suck. And I'm not giving up until I find something that lands him closer to me.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia11/20/2009 21:56
Asia: SouthPOE's from India
QUOTE (Saddle Bronc @ Nov 20 2009, 05:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (rahulv @ Nov 18 2009, 09:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Also to add on let him know this as well...

1. Pass through Immigration (ALONE) whether its JFK or anywhere else.
2. Pass through Customs (ALONE)

only thing that you could help him with would be

1. Either pick him up at JFK and drive back home. (expensive and painful driving)
2. Fly to JFK, Pick him up at JFK, help check-in domestic and fly back home. (more expensive a little bit less painful)

or the best...
3. Pick him up at domestic airport. (not expensive, not painful)

Choice is yours actually his lol.
Actually, Charlotte/Douglas airport is designated as international, as is Raleigh-Durham--in which case, 3 can be "book him to clear customs/immigration at CLT or RDU--and pick him up there (maybe some extra expense for airfare getting foreign fiance to POE--but much less than return-domestic airfare to JFK--with no pain)


I'm trying to do that. I'm checking 3 different websites that find multiple plane tickets at once, I know it's early, but I'm trying to get ahead on some things. I'm hoping something will pop up. Thank you so much for the ideas, I'm still checking. The EAD is not even a huge concern for me to be honest. I actually don't think he's going to be working right away anyway. He has his masters degree and will be looking for a high end job, those don't come around every day. Plus we need time to teach him to drive, get him a vehicle and such. I'm keeping all my options open.



QUOTE (karenros @ Nov 19 2009, 10:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ms_jinga_lala
Which part of North carolina do you live in?
I live in the charlotte area.. When i came to the US I came thru DEtroit andmy husband met me andmy brother met me there but since we had family we could stay in Michigan..

We visited india in Apr and I live close to bangalore so we took a direct flight from bangalore to Newark and then we flew to charlotte...


I hadn't thought of trying that option yet, thank you. I live closer to Greensboro. I was hoping the new direct Air India flights to Dulles would be an option but even they stop in NY.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia11/20/2009 21:46
Asia: SouthPOE's from India
He is being very stubborn. Money is an issue right now and even though they don't seem to care, I feel guilty having him get the money from his parents like he wants to. Maybe my real issue is more about pride than it is about being there....man....didn't want to face that one.

I priced everything, it's going to cost me $710 to fly, $400 for train, $225 for the bus. That includes me going to NY and then coming back with him. It doesn't include food, lodging or anything else.

To be honest, I'm a little stubborn too. I don't want to drive that far, I can't stop a bus or a train when I want to get out and stretch. I'm trying to get some other ideas. He is absolutely inflexible on this. I know I'm going to wind up in NY. And I think I'm going to be stuck on a plane. I just know it lol. I'm just fighting it. Eh....Thanks for all of your help.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia11/19/2009 19:34
Asia: SouthPOE's from India
Lol, I just told him some of this stuff and now he's asking me if I can get a train up to meet him and then we come back here by train. OMG....he's tough man...lol.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia11/18/2009 23:22
Asia: SouthPOE's from India
QUOTE (Nikita2Charles @ Nov 18 2009, 07:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Come on
My fiancee went through JFK and it was a breeze, you give the officer the envelope and he/she will ask you to follow him to another room that look like a parking ticket courtroom except there's no judge but officers sitting behind the podium, the officer that walk you to the room will give them your brown envelope and they will ask you to take a seat.

Later on they will call you to give you back your passport, with the I94 inside along with the Temporary EAD stamp, then the officer will remind you , you have to get married within 90days and have a nice day.

That part is the easiest of all.

Once he's done with Immigration, there are lot of people there from custom/Airline to help him getting his luggage to his final destination it's less than 2 hours flight, about 1hr 35 to 1hr 50min.


That's helpful, thank you! I tried the money thing, he told me he was going to pay for all of my trip and his as well lol. So that didn't work. As for luggage, I also thought about if I fly up to meet him, I would only need a small bag, so I could take a mostly empty bag and move some of his stuff into mine to avoid over limit fees. I've thought of some of those options.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia11/18/2009 23:16
Asia: SouthPOE's from India
QUOTE (sachinky @ Nov 18 2009, 12:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Umm, you could take the Greyhound if you absolutely hate driving. But if he has a lot of bags that'd be painful.

No, he will not need a visa for Germany. Those are layovers, you just wait in transit.

I was gonna say you need to ask him to man up. But if he's never flown before, that could be kind of scary. So try and assure him that POE's usually aren't a big deal. And it's not like you can meet him at immigrations and customs, any way. No matter what you will have to wait outside the arrival gate. JFK is a busy airport but they go through the passengers quickly. I've been through it countless times.


Oh believe me, so many times I have wanted to tell him man up lol. On the other hand I know him well enough to know that he's just a big nervous mess. He is really a spoiled kid I hate to admit. Before we got engaged he had never went anywhere alone (not even the 11 KM to his aunts house). He tells me all the time he's just a kid, but I don't think so. I know him well enough to know that he's just had everyone do everything for him and now he knows he has to change all of that. I'm working on him lol.

However, I worry some too. I went through Delhi and had a horrible time. It was my first flight ever and when I got there the people who led us in barely spoke English, and when they did it wasn't very well. That I could deal with, but they wouldn't give me my ticket, they just kept telling me to wait. It came time to get on my connecting flight to his city I still didn't have my ticket and I was panicking. That was only the worst part of all that happened while I was there. I was about to lose it and I'm a really strong willed person. I really don't want him to have to go through that and I don't think he could handle it. The changing airports thing worries me a little too. There are so many things I think are going to make this transition rough on him at that airport, not to mention the below 0 weather when he's coming from it being much warmer and he won't likely have a jacket to deal with that kind of stuff. (Did I mention part of his spoiling is my fault lol....omg.)

I told him I can't be at the back with him when they interview him and all of that, he said that was okay, he would just feel comforted knowing I was close by. I really want to be there. I kind of have an idea of taking the vacation and shopping in NY. It could be a lot of fun. Then if I drive I can stop at my moms and they can meet him. Then stop at my dads later and he can meet him, then go home. Of course, if I could get him a direct flight into Washington, that would be equally as good but less hours on the road. Ugh...I know I'm stuck with it lol. I'm going to have to do it, it will be worth it, but I can still fight to try to drive less.

Thank you so much for your response. If I get him the layover somewhere else he won't be so worried about some things. I can talk to him about that.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia11/18/2009 17:55
Asia: SouthPOE's from India
QUOTE (sachinky @ Nov 17 2009, 10:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well, I don't know if this will work for you but maybe you guys can stay the night over at the Mariott by JFK. Or is it Newark? It was $95 for a king size double bedroom the last time I stayed there. Drive to NYC. Pick him up from the airport. Order room service and enjoy yourselves at the hotel! Sleep in. And then you can drive back together the next day.

I'm also trying to chart out my flight plan. I need to get from Calcutta to South Bend, Michigan. So that's either Chicago or Detroit. Doubt there's a non-stop flight to either of those.


That is a good idea. I hate driving though....that's my problem lol. I'm just trying to figure out what is going to work out best for the both of us. I can only afford to take so much unpaid personal leave off of work to go get him. I'm not sure I'm going to get that approved either. I'm just trying to minimize the impact and I don't really want to drive 8 hours one day and then have to do it again shortly after. I'm bad..I know lol.

QUOTE (rahulv @ Nov 17 2009, 07:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
how about Charlotte airport via Frankfurt on US Airways from Delhi. If that is closer for you to drive.

Otherwise you would have to drive/fly. If you are driving then he can get a direct flight to JFK.


Will he need any kind of special permission or a visa to enter Germany if he does that? I'm not sure he would accept that either. He's never flown. He's never really left home other than a bus ride to his aunts house which doesn't really count lol. She doesn't live that far away, he could even return the same day if he wanted. He so nervous about all of this, I'm trying to soften the blow as much as possible.

I know Air India offers a direct flight from Delhi to JFK (I've taken it) and his family plans to take him to Delhi so they can all see him off from there. I've looked for any other direct flights to other airports but I've been unable to find anything that doesn't stop at JFK.


The problem really lies in that if they do any kind of interview process at the first airport he lands at he wants to know I'm outside waiting for him when he gets done. I don't have a problem with that, however this time off work thing is going to be a challenge. On all the flights I've checked so far they stop @ JFK then he gets another flight from there to whichever airport. He doesn't want to do that alone. How could I say no to meeting him lol. (Just fussing for a min....he totally didn't meet me in Delhi and I had to deal with that on my own but he says he can't pick up a connecting flight, he needs me at his first stop...bleh....and I know how he feels cause Delhi totally SUCKED for me...long story.) I feel like saying no would be cruel no matter what the reason - to both of us. Knowing he is so close and I could have shortened our wait to be together by a few hours is going to be torture. I don't want him having issues in NY like I had in Delhi and I know if he lands there he is going to have to change airports to come here. How can I leave him in a strange country and a strange city (even to me) and tell him find the ppl at the airport who sell bus tickets to the other airport all by himself. It just seems like something he shouldn't have to go through alone if he doesn't have to you know.

This whole situation is complicated. I need to win the lottery and quit work. I should have started playing like I mentioned months ago when I got my USCIS approval lol. Ugh.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia11/17/2009 22:25
Asia: SouthPOE's from India
Thank you! I did check into the Washington flight but it seems to go through JFK lol. I'm trying to get his landing as close to here as possible because he wants me to be at his POE and then we go the rest of the distance together. JFK is like an 8 hour drive or so (which I think may be needed with all the stuff he wants to bring lol...not sure they allow that much luggage on US Airways, they sure didn't when I flew)
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia11/17/2009 10:44
Asia: SouthPOE's from India
I'm trying to get an idea of how things are going to work after approval when my fiancee has his visa. (just planning for the best) I've been trying to figure out the best way to get him here so that I can meet him at his POE. I've checked on several different flight options and no matter what I search for or which location I put as destination they all seem to be going through JFK, NY. (I live on the east coast) So that leads me to some questions.

If his flight goes through and stops at JFK will they do all the POE stuff there before he gets on his next flight?

Is there any other POE that you all know of that we can get him on a flight out of Delhi directly to that POE instead of JFK?

I know when I went to see him the plane stopped in Delhi and they just kept us in a room and didn't process us for anything. However, coming back here I flew into JFK and they did all the visa checking there then let us go about our own business until we left on our own.



ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia11/17/2009 9:10
Asia: SouthBhangra Pics...of mani and i
You guys look cute together. You guys are similar to me and my honey. He's Punjabi and I'm super pale white lol. We got a lot of stares while I was in India with him, I wonder what it's going to be like when he gets here. I think there will be a lot less staring lol.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia11/15/2009 21:17
Asia: SouthAnyone been scheduled a December interview??
Since their webpage doesn't seem to be updating, and we all get way too impatient during this process, I thought I would ask around lol. I have tried checking timelines but almost all of those are for Mumbai and Chennai. Have any of you gotten anything back about your interview for December or January? Just trying to see what kind of possibility that the interview could be in December or if January is a more likely month or if it may be even later so I know how to start planning for some things.

fyi - we mailed off packet 3 about 2+ weeks ago and it was received per the EMS speedpost tracking (which I pray was before scheduling of the interviews). Today is also a holiday for the government there so no mail will run, I know there is no chance of getting a letter from the embassy today. Oh the stress! hahaha!

Thanks in advance.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia11/27/2009 23:14
Asia: SouthEvidence of Relationship?
Your visa stamps, the photos of you two together are going to be the best proof of your relationship. The movie stubs do not have your names on them, the cc receipt doesn't have her name on it so there is no proof either of those was for you and her. The pictures will need to be printed.

The phone records are good, keep collecting those. The receipts of the birthday cards and letters may not do much good either because they could be for anyone. What you would want to do is keep actual cards after they are mailed and stamped and make sure both of your addresses are on them. You can start doing that now since you are living apart. Chat records I am not sure of however emails will count. These are all considered secondary forms of evidence and are good to have, but not as important as the photos.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia12/22/2009 7:58
Asia: SouthI-129f validity expiring
I emailed and called. The email came back and said that the final decision rests with the interviewer and was really short and to the point. The lady on the phone kept saying don't worry the interviewer can extend it if he chooses to and if he doesn't then they would proceed accordingly. Ugh....I just feel sick. I will let you all know how it goes. I still plan to call the USCIS and see if there is anything they can do.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia12/29/2009 8:33
Asia: SouthI-129f validity expiring
QUOTE (sachinky @ Dec 25 2009, 08:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Have you called the embassy and asked to ensure that your petition doesn't expire?

Logic tells me that since you already have your interview date, it should be okay.

But a phone-call/email can't hurt.


Do you mean call them as if I was checking on things, then let them know the situation and request an extension?

Inzango:
Thank you for that suggestion as well. I think I'm going to do that, I don't have high hopes they will allow it, but it can't hurt to try! I think I am also going to call as Sachinky mentioned. They are so hard to get through to though, I'm sure I'm going to be up till 4 am trying to reach them.

You guys are great!!
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia12/25/2009 21:58
Asia: SouthI-129f validity expiring
QUOTE (Starlight95 @ Dec 23 2009, 11:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Since they scheduled your interview late they will extend the petition for you automatically. We got a 221g so I wrote them an email and sent them a letter through the mail to extend our petition. But, have not gotten any response. In you case its a bit different and I would not worry about it. He has not even has his interview yet, but just remind them and send them an email.

Star



Thank you. I plan to email them a note stating why I can't make it to the interview and how I'm going to be fully available to take a phone call should they have any questions for me. I will include this in there, I think I will also send a handwritten note as well. Better safe than sorry. This just makes me nervous and upset.


ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia12/24/2009 7:46
Asia: SouthI-129f validity expiring
Also, would it do any good to contact the embassy directly about this? Do they keep records of any emails sent to them and attach it to the petition (meaning should I email them in a way that can't be tracked to my case so I'm not basically telling them this information)?
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia12/23/2009 23:42
Asia: SouthI-129f validity expiring
Okay, the embassy received my fiancee's packet 3 on November 12. They didn't schedule his interview until Jan 28. Our I-129 expires on Jan 22. Since I have been reading this is a way for them to deny your package after having come so far, is there anything I can do to possibly get the I129F reaffirmed before they have the chance? Is there something I can do or say to let them know they had 2 months to schedule the interview and did not and keep them from denying us for this reason? I have time to try to get this done (I hope). Do you think it would do me any good to call USCIS and try to get a new letter with new dates on it?

Thanks in advance!

And just fyi, we stayed ahead of them on everything. He had all his packet 3 stuff and mailed it all back the day after he received the packet. There was no wait on our part. The NVC did however keep our package a month and as usual never said why. As I'm sure you are all aware, this was completely beyond our power to do anything more. But I don't go down without a fight lol. I'm not giving up yet, I don't want to see this fail on a technicality.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia12/23/2009 23:21
Asia: SouthMy letter to the embassy
Thank you. I will add the DOS to my list of emails to send. I know this may be falling on deaf ears, however I am sending it as a formal request for a new interview in an effort to keep the petition there until I can fly to Delhi myself on behalf of my fiance.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/28/2010 22:28
Asia: SouthMy letter to the embassy
I didn't send this yet. Partly because I'm not in an emotional state to be capable of proofreading or making the best decisions. Please let me know if this is good/bad/needs something/needs to lose something...whatever your thoughts, they are welcome. I will be including my case number when I send it.

Email ---

My fiance attended his K-1 visa interview yesterday, January 28. During the course of the interview he was yelled at repeatedly by the consular officer when he would not change his answers to the questions. The officer repeatedly asked "What did your parents say when when you told them she was divorced with three kids?" (By she he was referring to me.) My fiance's parents told him it was his choice but the consular officer did not believe that and kept yelling over him every time he tried to provide that same answer. After the officer had yelled it several times another woman came over to the officer and the two of them began whispering, asking my fiance a question, then laughing at him as soon as he began to speak. After yelling more than 10 times the same question again, in the presence of the woman, the officer told my fiance that since his parents didn't say anything that his visa was denied and closed the window. This is unprofessional conduct and not the conduct expected or becoming a consular officer. Are your officers expected, trained, or told to publicly humiliate and berate/degrade applicants? Several individuals at other windows also noticed the spectacle.

I am writing to you to formally request a second interview in which I will be present. I am requesting an ethical and professional consular officer to perform the interview and my fiance and myself are prepared to answer any questions.

Also, since it seemed to be a topic of interest, as detailed in my separation papers and divorce decree I separated from my husband in July 2006 and moved 2 states away from him. Due to him being deployed with the U.S. Marine Corps a divorce or formal paperwork was not possible as I was informed by legal those papers could not be served in Iraq. That is the only reason our divorce was delayed. The consular officer did not even seem to know that or have read that at the time of the interview and would not accept that when my fiance tried to tell him so.

signed/name/date/case #
----------------------------------------------------------------


--not included in letter but FYI. My ex husband was in Iraq 25 of the 36 months preceding our divorce. He was not home long enough for legal to get all the papers in order since 2 states had to be involved and papers had to be mailed/notarized/signed, etc. I purchased a house in July 2006 in middle Virginia. He lived in the southernmost tip of SC. There is no doubt we were separated and all that is detailed in our divorce and separation and witnessed by his command. SC was backed up on cases and it took us until after I met my then friend now fiancee to get the divorce finalized. I know that hurt the case a little, however it was clear that we had not lived together in a long time. Divorce is not something simple and quick, any idiot knows that. We had to mutually agree to assets and children while dealing with deployments and deal with overworked Navy legal. That in no way signifies my relationship isn't bona fide and furthermore we did not engaged till after my divorce.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/28/2010 20:53
Asia: SouthWhat do I do now?
Thank you Third.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/29/2010 20:37
Asia: SouthWhat do I do now?
Hmmm....where do I find the fax numbers? I can't fax it tonight because I don't have the means...which unfortunately means this will all have to sit until Monday...however I will fax and call them. I'm calling them tonight as well. I have my emails to my 4 senators ready to go and one to the DOS and one to the embassy, just giving myself time to think and tweak them before sending.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/28/2010 23:31
Asia: SouthWhat do I do now?
Thank you, I will. Should I still email them now?

Also, what does FNU mean? That's not part of his name, it's added in on this letter. Also, the expiry date is listed wrong - can I use that to my advantage?
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/28/2010 23:22
Asia: SouthWhat do I do now?
I just got the letter and the pics of the passport. The stamp in his passport was faked. I don't know what the CO was trying to prove but he never stamped anything in there. My fiance in a panic, in the dark no less, to see what the CO had stamped saw a stamp from the passport clearance. Thank goodness. I was freaking out. I am attaching the letter. Even though the CO said he was denied, it is written like a 221(g). Furthermore it says it was denied because the NOA-2 had expired. Thankfully I sent letters and made phone calls about that before the interview. I'm mentioning that in my letters to Congress as well.

Attached Files


ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/28/2010 23:00
Asia: SouthWhat do I do now?

in the meantime, contact your senators, email the embassy, etc. when we did, the senators in my state did jack squat, but i hear there are some good senators out there. i hope yours are. email the embassy to see what is going on. you may get a generic answer. also try calling the embassy yourself. it is sometimes difficult to get through, but if you are persistant, you can talk to someone. i found it easiest to get a person on wednesdays. but i recommend calling every day. you can go to their website to get the phone numbers, and i think they have a specific time they answer calls. mondays were the hardest days to get through. it will keep ringing busy. i remember having two phones going at the same time, plus my then fiance's dialing in to get through. so yes, it will take persistance.



I am a property owner in VA and live in NC. I emailed 4 senators (VA and NC) just now. I will call the embassy in a couple of hours when they open. I had no luck getting through to DOS today. I'm going to be calling tomorrow. I am also emailing the embassy as well. I just pasted the same letter in all 5 emails. I'm too stressed and upset to think of 5 different things to say and to be honest....I don't know that I could come up with 5. I requested in all 5 to have the case stay at the embassy and in the embassy email I requested a new interview. I'm going to Delhi no matter what. I am already making arrangements for my children to go somewhere, one will go with me since the jacka** at the embassy thinks my fiance's parents are bothered by my kids. I can't afford to take all 3 right now and my 7 year old is terrified of planes. So they are going to have to suck it up and deal with just one being there. I'm not sure whether I should be heartbroken or pissed.

If anyone knows of anything else I can do, please let me know. I can't think straight on my own right now. Thank you in advance!

P.S. My fiance is not awake yet. He is going to scan the documents first thing in his morning (in the next couple of hours). I will have them soon and will know what was stamped in his passport. I will update you all then. Thank you for all the support so far.

Edited by ms_jinga_lala, 28 January 2010 - 08:24 PM.

ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/28/2010 20:22
Asia: SouthWhat do I do now?

OMG some people just loveeeeee to use their power on others. He could have asked nicely and if only he would have listened. I heard that women CO are much better than male. I am so sorry on how they treated your fiance (F) If I were you I would take a look at the scanned document and take what ever decision you want to take.

Melody good luck to you guys. BTW you two look cute together. :)



It gets WORSE!!!

After trying all day to get as much information as possible (he was on the Train and not in his Airtel coverage area and I have limited breaks at work and could not get off today) I found out even worse information. Apparently after the CO started yelling at him a woman came over to the CO. The CO whispered something to her then asked my fiancee a question and when he tried to answer they both burst into laughter. The question was "Why do you want to marry a divorcee with 3 kids?" The SAME question he was yelling before. They didn't let him answer. Then he was asked again "What exactly did your parents say when you told them she had 3 kids?" My fiancee replied that his parents told him it was his choice and the CO got irate and asked him again "What exactly did your parents say when you told them she had 3 kids?" My fiance answered "they said nothing." The CO got up and yelled at him that if his parents didn't care then his visa was denied, closed the window and left my fiancee sitting there thinking ####### just happened. He was in shock and didn't even pick up our papers and someone else had to point them out to him so he didn't leave without them. My fiance also said they had the paper typed up and ready before he sat down at the window, he saw it. He said every time he tried to answer the CO talked over him and more than once verbally berated him. He said one of the first things the CO mentioned was that our NOA-2 had expired. (I had contacted them about this and sent letters and emails requesting extension.)

Here's the problem. I can't just get up and go to India. I am a single mom to 3 kids, my father who I live with to help care for is about to undergo surgery to have a pacemaker installed. Even if I forgot all that, I have nowhere to leave my kids. Their dad is legally psychotic - why I left him - and my mother does foster care and getting the kids to stay with her requires a lengthy approval process to get approval through the state. I still would have went through all of that to go, however I'm in training right now and under contract that I can't miss any of it, let alone the 4 days minimum to fly straight to Delhi and back. I tried to get the interview sooner so I could go and they refused. They had no reason to hold his packet 4 at the embassy for 11 weeks before scheduling the interview anyway, then when they did schedule it they scheduled it for after the NOA-2 expired. I still have the correspondence I sent them and ID numbers/dates/times from the phone calls I made. I am not giving up. I'm not going down without a fight.

If I get another interview scheduled how long will that take? I need to start requesting the personal leave and getting the babysitting issues with my kids and caretaker issues with my father taken care of now. I am appalled at how my fiancee was treated. I will be writing a formal congressional inquiry after I make the phone calls. I will be forwarding complaints to everyone and anyone I can. No one deserves to be publicly humiliated (and he was because he said the yelling of the CO drew attention from several others, including another employee....so that tells you something is VERY wrong), or treated the way he was treated. You can't legitimately say we don't have a valid relationship because I have kids.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/28/2010 19:17
Asia: SouthWhat do I do now?

in the meantime, contact your senators, email the embassy, etc. when we did, the senators in my state did jack squat, but i hear there are some good senators out there. i hope yours are. email the embassy to see what is going on. you may get a generic answer. also try calling the embassy yourself. it is sometimes difficult to get through, but if you are persistant, you can talk to someone. i found it easiest to get a person on wednesdays. but i recommend calling every day. you can go to their website to get the phone numbers, and i think they have a specific time they answer calls. mondays were the hardest days to get through. it will keep ringing busy. i remember having two phones going at the same time, plus my then fiance's dialing in to get through. so yes, it will take persistance.


Thank you. I will. I'm waiting for the DOS to open as well. The embassy is closed for the day today. I will be calling as many people as I can. Should I start working on EOIR-29? He's going to scan his letter and his passport for me and send it to me in the morning, he won't get home in time to do it tonight. (Delhi was a full day's trip for him.)

He also told me the paper he received is just a letter. There is no number such as 221g or 214b. He said it has his name, our case number and then the line I mentioned above about being sent back followed by the not conclusive line typed above. He said there is nothing below that. No form number, no indication of a date. It is on letterhead (US immigration visa section).
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/28/2010 7:49
Asia: SouthWhat do I do now?
I just got back through to my fiancee and he said the CO yelled (literally) more than 10 times "What did your parents say when you told them you were going to marry a divorced woman with 3 kids?" When my fiancee tried to answer him after he stopped yelling he started yelling "Why?"

I know that is unethical and not conduct becoming a CO. Can we file a complaint?
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/28/2010 7:19
Asia: SouthWhat do I do now?
Can I do anything in the mean time? I'm already planning another trip for this summer with the money I had saved for the wedding. The waiting won't kill me (not literally anyway) but I feel like this is complete #######. How can you say someone doesn't have a bona fide relationship yet not give them the chance to submit proof. There were a lot of things that we couldn't have given them before the interview such as photo albums and such. We already submitted over 50 pieces of postal mail, 75 pages of phone logs and then after those ended 4 monthly statements detailing number of calls and minutes used between me and him and me and his family. The main question that they seemed to keep berating him about was how his parents felt about him marrying me since I was divorced with 3 kids. My fiancee said he kept coming back to that and saying how he didn't believe his parents would ever approve. His parents were there, he could have asked them (I know...not really but the angry part of me says he should have and we could have avoided this.) His whole family loves me. I speak to them on the phone in their native language regularly and submitted proof of that at the USCIS and to the VFS. Furthermore, we haven't even been on yahoo for almost 2 years, our entire relationship was moved offline. And how would what we were doing on yahoo before we met even matter for our relationship.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/28/2010 7:11
Asia: SouthWhat do I do now?
It expired on Jan 22. I wrote them about it, I begged them to extend it. He said the CO told him specifically he was denied but gave him the white piece of paper which usually means AR. I am going to have him scan it all and send it to me. I'm not giving up just because some CO questioned my being married before. I was separated from my ex for 2 years before I met my fiancee. They didn't even know that at the interview. He said they asked and when he answered and told him I left my ex in 2006 (we met in 2008) the CO started talking over him as if he didn't care. He said the CO tried to argue with him like that every time he tried to answer. He basically didn't even get to say hardly anything because they didn't even want to listen. They never even asked to see any papers or photos or anything.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/28/2010 6:25
Asia: SouthWhat do I do now?
Sorry for the multi-post but the edit is not working.


When he asked the CO why he was denied, the officer said here is your piece of paper and it will tell you why. The paper doesn't say why.

The white slip said - At the time of the interview the consular officer asked for further information to support the petitioner/petitionee relationship. The information provided was not conclusive and the officer did not revalidate the petition.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/28/2010 6:09
Asia: SouthWhat do I do now?
He also said they stamped something in his passport and gave it back. What would they have stamped in there?
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/28/2010 6:03
Asia: SouthWhat do I do now?
My fiancee just finished his interview a little while ago. He went in and was interviewed by a male. The male never asked him for any evidence. He questioned him about why he would ever marry a woman who was divorced with three kids and wanted to know how his parents felt about it. Then he was belligerent because we met over yahoo, specifically wanting to know what we were doing on yahoo before we met. He continually insulted my fiancee then told him his visa was denied. My fiancee had to ask the consulate to stop speaking badly to him. Then he handed him a white slip that says the information provided was not conclusive.

He's on a train now so it's hard to discuss all of this with him and I don't have all the details. What should I do now? What happens next? What can I do?

My fiancee read me the piece of paper and it says something about stopping the petition and it is being sent back to the NVC. Anyone have any idea what all this means.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/28/2010 5:55
Asia: SouthVisitor visa

Hi ms_jingle_lala,
I am so sorry for your situation! I'm not trying to add to the heartbreak, but I just want to give you our experience. Just prior to us filing for the K-1 Tarun went to try to get a tourist visa to come over and meet my family in person. He went for the interview and they straight away denied him and told him that because he had the intention of immigrating they could not, by Consulate rules, give him a tourist visa, even though he had ties there and we were planning to go through the proper channels to bring him here. I'm afraid that because your visa was just denied they would be even less likely to give him one and it would be heartache for you guys all over again. These are just my opinions mixed with a little bit of experience, and I just wanted to put it out there even though I know things are tough for you right now and you so badly want to see him. Keep your chin up and keep fighting!

~Jen


Thank you for sharing. I am just lost right now. I don't know what to do or where to go. I'm a big "fix it" person and I don't know how to fix this. Bleh.

Thanks everyone.

Edited by ms_jinga_lala, 30 January 2010 - 10:05 PM.

ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/30/2010 22:02
Asia: SouthVisitor visa
Thank you. That is helpful. His whole family is devastated and now he thinks we may lose parental support altogether. He's dramatic. I'm not sure how I'm going to manage going. I'm living with my disabled father to help take care of him and he is awaiting surgery to have a pacemaker put in to keep his heart beating (thankfully at that point he'll have a nurse and I can breathe), I am a single mom to 3 kids and I can't leave the kids with their father because he's legally psychotic. I can't go or take any time off of work before March because I'm under contract and any absence will automatically result in termination. I'm sure that's not enough to prove hardship considering how the consulates are. I'm working on going as soon after that as possible though. That's why I couldn't attend the interview either.
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/30/2010 11:06
Asia: SouthVisitor visa
It is a hardship on me to just get up and go to India. If we get a second interview I will go no matter what, however my fiance wants to come and visit me in the mean time. He has a residence there, he would only be visiting here, he does not qualify for VWP.

How would you prove economic ties, social ties, and binding ties? He doesn't own anything of his own. As most Indians do, he still lives with his parents and still handles everything in cash. I read somewhere that he needed to have $50,000 USD in a bank account. That seems extreme. He's only 26, wouldn't it seem fishy for someone that age to have that much money in a bank account already?

How long does the process take to get a visitors visa?
ms_jinga_lalaFemaleIndia1/30/2010 10:06