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Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Good morning! Warming up here in Maine. Warm to me to my husband.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-02-11 09:27:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
I missed this yesterday. Thanks BOAZ

QUOTE (Boaz @ Feb 9 2009, 08:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hello Everyone! I pray that all is well for each of you, and God's will is manifesting in your lives.

Have a wonderful day.

Boaz


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-02-10 13:48:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Great Monday morning!
I hope everyone enjoyed the weekend. Mine was filled with my son and nieces.
Great things are comming this week.


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-02-09 07:47:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Good Saturday morning!

God is good and faithfull all the time.

Busy weekend with the kids. Hope you peeps fromt he north stay warm and peeps from the south appreciate that warm breeze.

Best regards,
Mrs. J
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-02-07 06:23:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Your Welcome BL2B!

You are at the right place for tips on how to make sure the process remains on track and is as smooth as possible.

Your journey will be expedited and smooth.

Best regards,
Mrs. J

QUOTE (BL2B @ Feb 7 2009, 04:13 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hello from a sunny South Africa. star_smile.gif
I've finaly made it to the Subbies pages, and caught up on loads of reading.

All the positive energy and thoughts here is awesome, just the way I like it.
I'm still in the early days of my journey, but Im staying positive and patient, dont see any reason to to stress myself out completely when I know things are beyond my control and I cannot speed up the process. But believe me, if I could I would wink.gif


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-02-07 06:14:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Good morning Sub.

Michael (husband) had a successfull interview yestrerday with a human services devision of my company. kicking.gif His interview was with two different people and over an hour. He left feeling great, which tranfered over to me. The need several people they told him.

Keep him in your prayers please. star_smile.gif
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-02-06 04:54:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
This may sound weird and before my husband was here I used to feel guilty, but I never missed him. I was sad when I had to leave him n Africa, but was so overwhelmed with joy regarding the entire experience it overcame the sadness. I was anxious for him to be here with me, but he never had been living with me or physically involved my daily activities so there was nothing to miss. I was disappointed when him Bengt here got pushed back, but got over it once I accepted it.

When days were difficult, i wish he was here for the support a phone call could not give you. Now that he is here in my house, I would feel desperately lonely with tout him.

I enjoyed and appreciated everything he brought to my life despite the distance. He made my life better just by knowing he was in Africa.

Appreciate what you have right now at this point. Enjoy conversations of what will be once he is here. Prepare you home, body, spirit and mind for his arrival.

Stay strong.
QUOTE (WhidbeyGirl @ Feb 5 2009, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
How do y'all continue to do this???? I know I'm just in my emotional state this week but the seperation is killing me. I haven't even started this process yet, it's only 76 days since I've seen my beloved and I just can't handle it any longer. My ID just wants to pick up and leave next week when my tax refund comes, but my EGO knows that that's not realistic and my SUPEREGO reminds me how irresponsible I am for just thinking like that. Thow on top of that all these gall darn hormonal emotions that I have NEVER experienced until the last year or so and I'm just a basket case.


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-02-06 04:51:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
On Friday I sent an email to the manager and directer of a brain injury residential program asking them to be on the look out for Michael application and take careful care and consideration with it. Yesterday the Director, which I have frequent contact with stopped me int he hall to state that the Manager has not seen Michael application.

So I shot an email to HR, which my department is connected to, to ask what part of the process was Michael application because the Director stated that his manager had not seen it yet. Yes of course I chose those words to put emphesis on the Director looking for his application. That very day Michael got a call today from my company. The HR person asked him a couple questions and stated she would pass the application on to the hiring Manager. Dealing with him around him returning her call scared me, because I realized that he didn't even know how to leave a message on her vmail. It was funny and scary at the same time, because you are returning a call to someone who determines if your application will move on to the next step.

In this position you need a vehicle to tranport clients. She asked him if he had a vehicle, he stated no. I was waving my hand in the air, because I never explained to him that he would be using the car, which I know consider ours. Just stuff I dont say, but take his understanding for granted. I have been randomly questioning him likeI am interviewing him. he does pretty good with he answers. I guess he is like my child now and I am afraid tro send him out into the world. *wink

The Hr person ended the call stating she would forward his applicaiton on to the hiring Manager. So get your prayer warriers in place.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-02-03 04:59:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
That makes me sad to read. I always assumed because I traveled to Africa I could not give blood for a certian period of time, but never considered the husband thing.

You will be able to give in many other ways. I encourage you to talk to friends to find someoen who has never donated before. Ask them to make that donation for you. Then you have completed two task.

QUOTE (WhidbeyGirl @ Feb 2 2009, 09:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Had a discouraging evening after work. I went to donate blood and was told I can NEVER donate blood again. It's because SO lived in Nigeria after 1977. I understand why - there are strains of HIV that the current tests don't detect - but it still was disheartening. In fact I started crying when I got to my car. All of a sudden something I have been doing for 23 years has been stripped from me. Knowing earlier wouldn't have changed my decision, I love my husband. I guess it's just the shock of being told "You are indefinitely restricted from donating". I have something or another in my blood that makes it somewhat rare, not the type, I'm just A-, something else makes it good for pregnant women or something. And all my kids are A- and I have already given blood to one of my boys in the past. Now I can never do that. When I write it, it doesn't make sense to be so upset but I am. Something has been taken and I can never get it back and it just sucks! cray5ol.gif cray5ol.gif cray5ol.gif cray5ol.gif cray5ol.gif


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-02-03 04:56:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Happy Birthday LL Cool J.


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-02-02 19:17:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Thanks, I will have him look back into this. I actually told him that the requirement was. I got it of their website.

QUOTE (WhidbeyGirl @ Feb 1 2009, 08:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
WAIT!!! Here's from the census application:


HOW CAN YOU QUALIFY FOR CENSUS WORK?
1. United States citizens will be given preference for
census jobs. However, noncitizens may be considered
if qualified citizens are not available, particularly in
areas where bilingual ability is a necessary
qualification. You must present documentation of
employment eligibility. The types of acceptable
documentation are listed on the reverse side of
this page.



Good day Sub!
God is good and faithful all the time.

Have a joy filled day!
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-02-02 11:34:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
You have to be a US citizen to apply. Too funny you suggested taht because he showed up at our local library after we read a flyer at a sports center.

QUOTE (WhidbeyGirl @ Feb 1 2009, 07:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (MrsJibowu @ Feb 1 2009, 02:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Job hunting is dismal at best, but we have God's favor. He will be volunteering two days a week at a Christian Community support program working with youths and might conduct a men's bilbe study. He is also teaching Sunday school with me during the 2nd service. These will be great refernces in a couple of weeks time. We are hopeful.

I checked out the MMC website, just current per diem, but we still applied. I say we because he pecks like a chicken ont he computer and I can't take the pain watching him.

He just explained to me that he used to type my email on his own computer then head to the cafee and used the memory stick to upload my note.

QUOTE (babynursetobe @ Jan 31 2009, 10:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (MrsJibowu @ Jan 31 2009, 11:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hello Baby,
I have not seen you on in a bit. I just returned from the gym. It was great.

I have day of helping myhusband find a job.

QUOTE (babynursetobe @ Jan 31 2009, 09:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Good Morning everyone!! Hope all is good with you...........I'm off to start the laundry and cleam my messy house. Kids will be off to their dad's in a few hours and I'll be able to have some alone time later.....maybe i'll be good and go to the gym??




Hey Missy I've been kind of hiding out lately and haven't been posting much on VJ. Been feeling kind of discouraged by this visa process and didn't want to vent my bad mood.....lol. Been going to the gym though and that's making me feel better. How'd the job hunt go with the husband?? You should have him look at MMC we are ALWAYS hiring and we have a large african community that works there......just a thought.

~M



I don't know about in your area, but here the US Census Bureau is starting to hire for the 2010 census. www.census.gov Here in Washington they are looking for someone who speaks some African languages - so maybe there they are too. They pay pretty well and the work is all on YOUR time - very flexible. I worked for them for about a year on the survey that was the trial run for the 2010 census and it was nice to have the extra money + 58.5 cents per mile!

They have MANY different surveys too, besides the 2010 census and seem to always be looking for Field Reps. I loved the training! Put me up in a fancy hotel and gave me so much money for food each day, it was great!


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-02-01 19:11:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Job hunting is dismal at best, but we have God's favor. He will be volunteering two days a week at a Christian Community support program working with youths and might conduct a men's bilbe study. He is also teaching Sunday school with me during the 2nd service. These will be great refernces in a couple of weeks time. We are hopeful.

I checked out the MMC website, just current per diem, but we still applied. I say we because he pecks like a chicken ont he computer and I can't take the pain watching him.

He just explained to me that he used to type my email on his own computer then head to the cafee and used the memory stick to upload my note.

QUOTE (babynursetobe @ Jan 31 2009, 10:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (MrsJibowu @ Jan 31 2009, 11:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hello Baby,
I have not seen you on in a bit. I just returned from the gym. It was great.

I have day of helping myhusband find a job.

QUOTE (babynursetobe @ Jan 31 2009, 09:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Good Morning everyone!! Hope all is good with you...........I'm off to start the laundry and cleam my messy house. Kids will be off to their dad's in a few hours and I'll be able to have some alone time later.....maybe i'll be good and go to the gym??




Hey Missy I've been kind of hiding out lately and haven't been posting much on VJ. Been feeling kind of discouraged by this visa process and didn't want to vent my bad mood.....lol. Been going to the gym though and that's making me feel better. How'd the job hunt go with the husband?? You should have him look at MMC we are ALWAYS hiring and we have a large african community that works there......just a thought.

~M


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-02-01 17:22:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Did I miss something?

QUOTE (LovinLiberia @ Feb 1 2009, 01:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
headbonk.gif headbonk.gif headbonk.gif headbonk.gif headbonk.gif headbonk.gif headbonk.gif headbonk.gif headbonk.gif diablo.gif diablo.gif protest6wz.gif girlwerewolf2xn.gif



Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-02-01 17:17:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Congratulations on raising a child that is heading off to college. One major accomplishment to add to your list.
Enjoy your piece of mind.

QUOTE (idocare @ Feb 1 2009, 03:14 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
OMGish,

I was so elated when my mouthy teenager left to go and live at the University he's now
attending. Truly I think that's the worst age for parent/kid interaction. These teens
think they know so much. I'm glad that mines can now practice his thought and mouth
thru his grades; away from me at the Univeristy he's now attending.

kicking.gif


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-02-01 07:20:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Hello Baby,
I have not seen you on in a bit. I just returned from the gym. It was great.

I have day of helping myhusband find a job.

QUOTE (babynursetobe @ Jan 31 2009, 09:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Good Morning everyone!! Hope all is good with you...........I'm off to start the laundry and cleam my messy house. Kids will be off to their dad's in a few hours and I'll be able to have some alone time later.....maybe i'll be good and go to the gym??


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-01-31 11:06:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3

Blech...I do not get it? huh.gif blink.gif

Morning

I love them sneakers. I would love some for my son. Too cute. luv.gif

Wow my day is already a quarter the way through Yahoo! star_smile.gif



I sent my husband out on the job search via mass transit. I feel like he is my child and I need to follow up on him. HELP helpsmilie.gif


I added the emotes so UNO can understand me. *wink

QUOTE (LovinLiberia @ Jan 30 2009, 09:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Blech #2

Morning y'all.


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-01-30 10:27:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Good morning Zee and Sub! I made it out of the storm. Wasn't as bad as they stated, but lots of snow to shovel this morning. I am tired of the winter that I love so much. I had enough. I am ready for spring.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-01-29 09:25:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
UNO.. you know you are just a nasty gurl. devil.gif

Too funny.

QUOTE (UNO... @ Jan 27 2009, 09:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ok, gotta text today and it says:


teacher says to buckwheat "the vocabulary word is dictate, use it in a sentence."
buckwheat says "ootay. Hey darla, how my dictate last night?"
tongue.gif or maybe rofl.gif



Morning all! Schools were closed and not a single flurry had hit the ground yet. We are getting ready for 10-15 inches of snow. I did not go to work today in preperation, but I feel guilty since there is no snow yet.

Have a great day all.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-01-28 08:30:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Good morning Sub,

I needed to listen to a lot of Joel today to get my spirits up. You think after Sunday my spirits would be on high as usual.
Great things are to come today, i can just feel it.

Cold as ever in Maine, but what a beutiful sky on the way to work.

Thank god I have a job, a place to lie my head, a vehical with heat, and family to greet me when I return from work.

Have a joy filled day!
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-01-27 07:40:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Happy Sunday!

After 26 hours of fasting I was Baptized by submersion. So today is my new birthday.

Because I drink coffee on the regular I had a wicked headache and nauseous the last hour.

I hope i can make it next time without complaining.

I hope you feel well UNO! Sylyvia I am sending you some positive healing energy your way!

My son loves that stuff too. I catch myself watching it now and then. To see stuff like that in person is scary for me.

QUOTE (Perseverance @ Jan 24 2009, 11:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Anyone watching the X Games??? Absolutely WILD good.gif good.gif those dudes must have GIANT BALLS!!!!! I cant believe the stuff they do... pure adrenaline good.gif good.gif I might have to go watch it live next year good.gif

Edited by MrsJibowu, 25 January 2009 - 04:23 PM.

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-01-25 16:22:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
It's great to see you on the board!

QUOTE (chispas @ Jan 23 2009, 11:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hola Again,
We have finals this week and this is my free period so I am catching up with everyone. Too bad there isn't a VJ mobile which lets us choose our favorite forums to keep up with


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-01-23 12:28:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
That is just so devistating. Sad story.

QUOTE (chispas @ Jan 23 2009, 10:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (chispas @ Jan 23 2009, 07:46 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Mornin All,
Boaz you don't know how excited I am just knowing you were there witnessing history. The TV service in our whole school was out and the Interet even worse so I have not seen the whole broadcast yet. When you upload your pics, I'll pretend I was there too.


Lovin'
Here's an article I found today about caterpillars eating up the crops in Liberia. Creepy

Hordes of caterpillars swarm Liberia, Guinea
By JONATHAN PAYE-LAYLEH, Associated Press Writer Jonathan Paye-layleh, Associated Press Writer – 5 mins agoSHANKPALA, Liberia – Liberia's worst caterpillar plague in three decades has spread to neighboring Guinea after swarms of the crop-eating insects devastated more than 45 towns in the West African nation, officials said Friday.

Thousands of farmers have been unable to venture onto their farms. The 1-inch-long (2-3 centimeters) caterpillars were advancing in the tens of millions, devouring food crops and clogging wells and waterways with excrement, the Rome-based Food and Agriculture Organization said.

Agriculture experts from Liberia urged that the pests be attacked with aerial spraying quickly before they destroyed even more areas.

The outbreak, which began in central Liberia, has been blamed on last year's unusually long rainy season. The invasion already has affected two of the leading food-growing provinces in Liberia, which is still recovering from years of civil war.

On Friday, officials said the pests also had invaded Lofa County on Liberia's northern border with Guinea.

The FAO's emergency coordinator in Liberia, Tim Vaessen, confirmed that the caterpillars had entered neighboring Guinea and said the infestation "could be a regional problem" if it is not attacked soon.

Liberian Agriculture Minister Chris Toe said aerial spraying was needed in the central town of Shankpala, 120 miles (200 kilometers) northeast of the capital, Monrovia. The coffee- and cocoa-producing area has been hard-hit by the dark, hairy pests.

Bendu Jabateh, whose mud-plastered hut is located close to an infested coffee farm, said she no longer felt safe leaving her two children outdoors.

"This is becoming a no-go area for us. We cannot go to our farms and we can't have our children play around the town any longer," said Jabateh, cradling her toddler son. "They crawl and come into the house."

Toe said specimens have been sent to Ghana and the United States to confirm suspicions that the pests are army worms.

About 30 pest control workers were already using manual ground sprayers to try to contain the outbreak in central Liberia. But eradication is a problem — the pests dwell on the leaves of giant forest trees that can rise more than 26 feet (8 meters) and aerial spraying risks further contaminating water sources.

In Shankpala, an ill-equipped spraying team has not made any serious impact. Residents instead have lit fires to keep the swarms at bay.

"When we set fire to certain places around the town, the caterpillars will bypass and attack in different locations so we are ... tired of using fire now," said rice farmer Johnson Kolleh. "We need modern methods to fight the spread."

In Pelelei, a creek used for drinking water was polluted by the pests' feces.

Coffee farmer James Kolleh, 22, explained that some spraying had been done in the town "but we were terrified when the chickens that eat the dead pests all died. These caterpillars must be very poisonous."

The last time Liberia experienced such pest invasion was 30 years ago, but officials then were able to prevent its spread.

Liberia was ravaged by alternating civil war and coups between 1989 and 2003. The drawn-out conflict left about 200,000 people dead and displaced half the country's population of 3 million.

The country — created to settle freed American slaves in 1847 — is still struggling to maintain a fragile peace with the help of U.N. peacekeepers.


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-01-23 10:53:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Good morning! This morning I turned on the Ipod for my 30 min travel to worth with Joyce Meyers 4 part series on forgiveness. Coinsident..I think not. My husband played a roll in this, which made me mad.

God wants us to forgive 7 X 70. I wonder If my son's father has used up his 490 forgivings? Ok back to the drawing board.

Have a joy filled Friday.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-01-23 07:26:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Thank you for sharing your experience and joy. You are in the blessings. Your abundance is poring over. Just imagine that it does get better then this.

QUOTE (Boaz @ Jan 22 2009, 10:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just reflecting and thinking out loud ......

When I graduated from college, I vowed that I had experienced the best life had to offer.

Then I began travelling on corporate jets, staying in fancy hotels, and meeting with coporate movers and shakers. So now, something else became the best experience life had to offer.

Fast forward a decade plus later, and I met a man who vowed in front of God, family and friends to make me his good thing. So ... again life has allowed me to experience another 'best experience'.

BUT then ... through the resource of a good friend on City Council, who had a strong (and favorable) connection with one of my state Senator's, who provided me with two seated seats to the Presidential Inauguration of 2009; I once again experienced the best life had to offer.

I am high on life! Never in my life did I think I would be able to witness history of this magnitude. I am high on life! Even the coldness of the day, good not interfere with what I felt. 48 hours have gone by since that wonderful moment, and yet .... I am still high on life. In more ways than I can count, I continue to experience the best life has to offer.

When I was a little girl, the choir use to sing, "Without God I can do nothing! I am like a ship without a sail."

God .... thank you!


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-01-23 07:23:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Good morning Sub Sahara!

What a great day today will be.

Have to share: We met with my pastor last night. He asked my husband how he is dealing with the cold. He said that was a whole nother story, but my heart is hear so that is where my body needs to be. My mom and I were so touched.

My husband is so excited this morning. An elder from our church is picking him for Bible Study. I pray this is a regular ride for him.


Had a blood fasting work schedule for today. 3rd time I woke up and had a cup of coffee. Aaauuuggghhhh My office pays me $20 a month if I have this paper work on file. I already lost out on $60.



Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2009-01-22 04:52:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIt's been a while
We are doing great. I was extra careful around my time with Elijah. I did not want him to associate less time with him because of new husband arriving. I now believe that my husband was extra careful not to bond too much with him. I have to say that he always paid my son the highest regard.

I am healed. He filed for divorce out of AZ and I live in ME. I pointed out the fraudulant information on the Marriage Certificate. I hope the judge throws it out. WRong age, address and legal name. Other wise let them issue him a divorce. It is in God's hands now.




Yes enlightened one I'm kinda familiar with your story; your husband was a Preacher in Nigeria if I remember right
you and him prayed regularly sometimes together,( ACCORDING TO THE INFORMATION YOU PROVIDED ) and still he listened to the person coaching him on how to
leave "you" his wife instead of working on a cohesive marriage. I pray that your son isn't too damaged by the
events that are currently playing out in your life with your ex'husband. I hope that you heal soon if you already
haven't. ALL THE BEST TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2010-05-25 12:25:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIt's been a while
Forgetful. Doesn't remember a damn thing you say and he says. It's hard to live two lives.
When you ask them a direct question all of a sudden they do not undersand what you are asking. Or they answer so soft you can't hear them. That was something my husband did a lot. Or they totally start talking about something different. You will become frustrated then chalk it up to cultural. I read a letter my husbnd wrote to a former employer. I could not believe now articulate his English writting was compared to what he claimed to understand.

Random things are said in emails or responces have nothing to reflect the email you sent. They have people in the internet Cafe write some of their letters to you. IT is expensive to be in those cafe's. Not many people have internet or power to maintian the constant communicaiton some of the fraudulant people do.

I corresponded with a woman who stated after her SO arrived she got into his email. She discovered that she was communicating with sonmeone that was fowarding the emails to her SO. That someoen met her and then gave her information to her husband. This is common to sell your information. Once they get here. Tehy owe tons of money to send home to people who helped them.

Now I look back to allt he people who played a hand in making my visit pleasant were payed well. I am 100% positive my friend who fixed us up was paid for the arrangment.

Dont be afraid to ask lots of questions. I know I was afraid because I didn't want him ot hink I doubted him. Ask detailed questions..write them down. Three weeks later ask them again. My mom told me she started asking my ex questions about his family. She said he verred off to another subject. She knew there was something wrong. When I asked himt he same simple question he answered me so soft I couldn't hear him. Then gave me arough answer instead of an exact.

I thought there was something mentally wrong with this man for a while.





I like to see signs that people noticed that we should also consider. I appreciate this.


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2010-05-25 12:22:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIt's been a while
I agree with you 100%. I have come this far. But I see the save waivering thoughts in my US relationships as I had in my international. Have you ever looked back and said. Geesh why was I so worreid and sick over this choice. No we always say...Why didn't I listen. Why did I make excuses.



I think being aware of particular "signs" could be helpful. But I have this question which I think MAY have come up in past similar threads: if you did see "signs" or "red flags" would you act on them? I sometimes think that by the time these issues come up we are already so emotionally connected that we are hesitant to cut the cord on the relationship. I ask only because I think I would have a difficult time cutting all ties after becoming so close to someone unless something came up that was extremely egregious so I am wondering how others would do it? Perhaps this shows my weakness, but I am just trying to keep it real.


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2010-05-25 12:08:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIt's been a while
My husband was a pure saint in my eyes. Christian that preached and new the bible inside and out. Always responded from love and not judgment. Someone like that could never lie for the American dream.

Well that is the farthest thing from the truth. There is a do what you can to get ahead mentality there. Sadly some people equate it with their culture. They will raise their hands to the sky to praise all mighty God with stolen jewerly on their wrist. I read this in an article written about the Nigerian culture. He spent many months embeded in their comunity while working for an oil company. Dont get me wrong he had some wonderful things to say too.

I still do not understand how my ex husband could do what he did despite what he knows about the bible. I feel sad that he didn't have enough faith in God's plan for him that he had to lie and manipulate.

I have one email from his brother to him written before we met in person. In one sentence he praised God for his daughters health. Then in the next sentence asked my husband what he has told me so that he doesn't contradict anything. He asked him...what did you tell her you did for work? Like why would two Christian men talk like this if they were living their lives as Christian. This also can be associated with a distain for American people. As I read many snippy remarks regarding American Woman in their Emails.

There are stark contrast in American and Nigerian culture around woman and men relaitionships. If you and your SO are agreeing on everything. Then he is just too darn agreable.


See this is what scares the HECK out of me! I trust my husband but when I hear stories like this, I always wonder. I KNOW that someone can fool another person. Yes, people can be just that good. I keep going over our relationship, over and over the events and I don't see anything but who knows? Linguere, is there something you can look back on now and say definitively that it was a sign?


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2010-05-24 14:26:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIt's been a while
Lori you are embarking on a journey on pure faith. Men in America and overseas can say what they want, but only their actions stand true. So now if you move forward you have to trust his word until you experience his word.
If you worry about doubt now, it only gets worst when they are here. The stress of the financial strain and cultural differences make this even worst. Unless of course there is not a financial burden. My instinct was screaming that something was wrong, but I kept I bottled up in excuses and dumbness.

Here is my theory. Was your last relationship a healthy one? If you were in a dysfunctional relationship prior and did nothing to change yourself emotionally, spiritually, and physically… chances are you are attracting the same type of person. Until we change inside ourselves what attracts people who will defiantly /eventually hurt us like a magnet.

I know why I embarked on this journey and took the risk I did that lead me to the pain and hurt I experienced. I am thankful for my experience that God provided me to grow even stronger.

Spend one hour quietly meditating (praying if you believe). INvision what you want your outcome to be in this journey. When you are done see how your head and stomache feel. That quiet time God will give you the answer.

I love this test. Say somethign that is true..like I love roses. See how that makes you feel. Then say something that you know is not true. LIke the sky is purple. Feel that little twinge in your stomache is telling you something is wrong. that is your instinct. Meditate and aske the question. Then move forward without doubt.

God bless you!
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2010-05-18 13:24:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanIt's been a while
Thank you IDOCARE for your story. As it is similar to mine. Lets keep the meomories going so we might stop just 1 person from making a mistake.

Over 50% of the relationships do not work out. They are a number of woman too embarassed to share their stories, but have done with me in private. Some who have been used for the US dream and then the relationship works out.

Read my story here.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2010-05-18 10:28:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanTribal marriage/divorce issues
My X husband had applied for a Student Visa. On that Student Visa he claimed he was Married. He was denied that Visa.

At the time of the itnerview he told me that he only stated he was married to show proof that he would return to his country.

During his interview he claimed that it was tribal marriage that had no legal documents. This was surfice for them. Although they did put him on AP and did some backround check.
So I guess it would go either way with them.

Good luck.

Once my husband was here I found emails in his suit case between him and his brather talking about getting divorce yet. So he had actually been married. Nothing to do with you. Just thought some might find that interesting.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2010-06-07 09:23:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanWAS YOUR S.O. APPROVED AND ARRIVED IN THE US JUNE '09 - PRESENT??

he left our 3-year-old alone in the apartment yesterday evening. I've told him NEVER to do this, but he doesn't think it is a big deal. I'm spitting mad and I really don't know what I'm going to do about it. It could be a deal breaker for me.


My ex would do the same thing to my son. I was going through a nasty custody battle at the time, which made it even more important that my son be supervised properly at all times. He wasn't work so I couldn't see what his problem was. My son was mature enough to be left alone at 11. And I would under specific short circumstances. I would tell him over and over again not to leave him alone, but he would keep doing it. I would come home early and catch him off at the library. I do think it is a cultural thing. They are used of family and neighbors/ community taking care of the kids. But after my situation I just chalked it up as he didn't care.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2010-06-17 13:56:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI'm Next
Hope you are doing well Boaz!

I received my husband letter last week in regards to me denying the validity of the marriage certificate to the court of AZ. He accused me of subtly keeping him hostage, locking him out in the cold until the cops came and made me let him in, physical abuse and emotional abuse.

The letter was validating, because after time had passed I began to feel like maybe he wasn't all that evil. He will have major recourse to his action from the all mighty king above. I am glad I can put my cares to him.
Vindication is mine in his son's name.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2010-07-13 06:42:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanI'm Next
Boaz! You knew when you called me a couple of weeks back at work, but you got another call and didnt' call me back. Call me any time. Do you have my cell phone?

I will send my cell number in a message. My heart hurts for you, but I know your faith is as strong as mine. You wil be in God's blessings. His life will be long and hard.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2010-06-16 14:51:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNigerian Bride Price
You are taking a risk with the Bride Price theory. Yes you have to have it consummated, but still them Embassy might chose not to acknowledge it.

For example my ex claimed he was married on a student visa. When he was interview he told them it was never documented and only Married through cultural tradition. Now he passed after AP and another person in a similar situation was denied.

I think they use their own decision on whether they will accept or not.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2010-07-30 13:11:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHi Sub-Saharan
BOAZ!! Glad you and the girl are fine. Call me again some time. Best~ Missy I think this is my first post in VJ for over a year. WOW Just for you.


Whew! It's been forever since I've been on VJ. I hope all is well with each of you. By the grace of God, I was able to have my marriage ANNULLED on the basis of fraud. Nevertheless (and most important) my daughter and I are great. She is 1.5 and filled with laughter and good health.

By the way - I've been doing some writing. Please check out my blog .... www.macysview.com. You can also follow me on twitter @macysview


All the best!


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2011-11-17 12:17:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
Congrats Whydbe!


Welcome back CHISPA. I sent you a note on FB.

Have a great week. only one more day for me then a three day weekend.

Welcome new members!!!
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2010-04-21 14:40:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSub-Saharan Cyber Cafe #3
How exciting to share the baby with family charles. Have a great time.

Yes I have been on the FB too.

I see lots approvals in Nigeria which is good news for the waiting.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2010-03-25 12:09:00