ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Africa: Sub-SaharanMy Favorite Day
There you are devine. i was missing you. thank you for the compliment. i am a little partial to that picture myself. that was before the african heat had the sweat running down my face. the photographer just kept taking pictures. no one told me. LOL


QUOTE (Divine Mercy @ Nov 30 2007, 11:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (MrsJibowu @ Nov 30 2007, 06:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I love waking up on FRiday. i want everyone to enjoy this weekend to the fullest. There will be lots of good news to share next week on VISAJOURNEY. I can just feel it.

Has anyone else have cancled 129fs since devien mercy's was cancled?

Mrs. that picture needs to be in a frame, it is GORGEOUS! Everyday could be friday if you look at that!

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-01 06:50:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMy Favorite Day
We (Maine) are getting a snow storm on Sunday night. i can't wait, i love the snow. i can image how cold my husband is going to be when he experiences the MAINE WEATHER. ph34r.gif That is a smiley witha ski mask... right? LOl

QUOTE (jasman0717 @ Nov 30 2007, 03:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I normally is mine too, especially this Friday because it is payday but it has been pouring rain here since about 5:30 this morning so I am thinking my Saturday tee times have been washed away sad.gif

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-11-30 17:30:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanMy Favorite Day
I love waking up on FRiday. i want everyone to enjoy this weekend to the fullest. There will be lots of good news to share next week on VISAJOURNEY. I can just feel it.

Has anyone else have cancled 129fs since devien mercy's was cancled?

Attached Files


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-11-30 06:34:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanCurious...
When we were in Nigeria we went to a place to have some drinks. There was about 5-8 cats around a dumpster. They were so skinny it made me sad. We have an all black cat. My husband said he willnto mind it.

Then a few days later my son, driver, and I was waiting for my husband to return.He took a motor bike so he could get around traffic quicker. we were near the security gate. I saw a skinny sad looking dog. We tried to call him over, but because the dogs are not treated as ours are they do not answer to the same calls. I was trying to feed him a biscuit that a friend had given my son. So i asked a group of shady looking guys to give it to the dog. He said OK. I put it through the gate. He cut it in half. passed the other half to another guy and they started eating it. my mouth probably dropped to my chest. LOL
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-02 19:18:00
Africa: Sub-Saharanentertainment
I flew to Nigeria with my 9 year old son. The flight was 6 hours to lundon then 6 hours to nigeria. 5 hours in lundon. WE had 5 movies to chose from and several tv station and news. I enjoyed looking atthe screen that tells you where you are flying over, how fast the plain was going, how manymore minutes till we arrived, the weather, it was interesting to me. My son was wonderful. He had coloring, books, magazines, and he had to do some jouranling for school.

The longest part was the last flight home.
Have a safe and pleasant trip.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-03 19:00:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanPetition finally approved
Congradulation are in order! More great news for the week!!!!!!
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-05 13:02:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanUSCIS Appointment

Thanks you guys. Please click below to go where I posted my responce. It was good news for me still bad news for my lawyer.


Where I posted what happend
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-08 04:54:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanUSCIS Appointment
ANYONE?
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-07 07:24:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanUSCIS Appointment
Hello, I need some advise.

I have been have trouble with my lawyer. I have requested several times for the date he mailed our affidavit of support bill to the NVC and the tracking number. They will not respond to my request, because they either do not know (assistant quit, new assistant who knows nothing about immigration law) or they have not sent it out yet. I received my I130 Approval extremely early, I have recently come to discover. His old assistant stated that my approval time was about right. (obviously she did not know what she was talking about) On November 15th the law office requested our payment for the NVC bill. I called the NVC using my I130 receipt number to get out NVC case #. The automated system states that there is not a case number for that receipt number.

The USCIS website still only shows my I130 as received and that is it. When I called the help desk, he said there was nothing he could do for me and to make an appointment at my local USCIS office. My appointment is today at 12:30. After tearing apart my house, I can not located my I130 approval. AAAHAHHHHHHH

The question is: Should I still go to the USCIS appointment even though I can not locate my approval letter?
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-07 05:19:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanJust an Update......
I only have support and prayer to offer. The above suggestions both sound like good ideas. My lawyer has already added 4 months to my case. We paid him to do this. I only can imagin how frustrated you must be, since my journey has not been as long as yours. You two are so close you can almost feel him. Through the grace of god anything is possible.

You are correct that you will have a Christmas Blessing next week.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-08 15:02:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanToday is our anniversary..God help us get thru this
You were very fortunate to have such quality time with your husband. I considered the same thing, since I was inbetween jobs, but I do not think I could handle the heat of the summer. I didn't want my sonto miss out on his wonderful Maine summers.

Unfortunetly, the quanity of quaility does make it more difficult to cope during the visa journey. You are in the right spot here with people who know your pains, fears, hopes, and dreams. God will bless you in your journey just at the right time. Thank GOD for the blessing of the additional love you have in your family.

Missy
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-09 18:25:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNigeria CR1 Interview wait time
Wow, I did not realize that you two new each other for so long. You look so young. See that is why you are getting so anxious. You are so close to having him you can feel it.

Quote "That is amazing we were both there at the same time, I wonder if we bumped into eachother and never knew. "

Darlin, I did not see one white women there. And only seen some white buisness men at the Sheraton. I think I would have remembered you. heheheh
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-02 20:48:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNigeria CR1 Interview wait time
Thanks for the heads up. That would be a horrible thought. I have been patient, but as it get past the expectation date i am sure i will start getting anxious.

I am sure my husband will want what ever is faster. When was the last time you were in Lagos? Devine and I were there at the same time and got married 2 days from each other. How wild is that?



QUOTE (LonelyforLagos @ Dec 2 2007, 07:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I strongly feel that the K-3 is more likely thna not to go into administrative processing or administrative review unless you have 500 emails and tons of phone bills. Letters from you friends and family, and any other creative thing you can think of to get past Satan.

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-02 19:51:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNigeria CR1 Interview wait time
You are absolutely right! My friend from Nigeria said i didn't need a lawyer either. I didn't pay for it, so it was insisted upon to make sure it didn't stress me out. too sweet. VJers never cease to amaze me. This site is so interesting and the people are wonderful. I filed for the K3 right after the 130. I did not expect to get approved so quickly. we are supposed to use the k3 to get in while the 130 is pending. no offense to the k1, but i thought it was backward that they would get in so much quicker then us married people.
Saturday night I asked someone in a room to look at my timeline. when i told him that i paid those bills to the nvc, he stated that i was on the cr1 route. You do not pay those fees for the K3. Now i am still curious to know, why my 129f was not approved, at the same time and then going forward with the k3.

After i talk with my lawyer, i will discuss the pros and cons with my husband to see what he wants to do. I am thinking i am lookingat a feb cr1 approval. we have a simple case. i have never been married. he has never been married. he was a pastor at canaan land church for 4 years.

Do you think you are going to have to do the DNA test? why even tell the you have a child if that is the case? it shouldnt even matter to boot. I wish i got pregnant when I was there. I will have a baby as soon as possible. i am so excited to plan this time. Elijah (son& profit) was not planned, but never regreted. *wink
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-02 19:00:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNigeria CR1 Interview wait time
You are just too sweet. It is more like I do not know anything because I have not had to think about anything. I didn't have to figure out what forms to use, where to sen them, or how to fill them out. The send me a software question are that asked a quetion then it filled out the form using the answers. Kinda like doing your taxes online. Then I hated to bother the lawyer knowing that everybody else is calling them. just the thoughtful person that i am. since my 130 was approved so quickly i trusted that the process was going well. i believe that it still is though. I am going to call tomorrow though. I am not afraid to call to find out what the heck happened to my 129f. LOL



Missy[/quote]
I am also anxious to know what your lawyer has to say about that. I am totally amazed that you are actually using a lawyer though. You are such an intelligent person and you deserve to be kept informed on every step of this process. I personally think that you could have done all of this without the help of an attorney. That's just my opinion.
[/quote]
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-02 17:37:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanNigeria CR1 Interview wait time
Hello Devin,
I am not a CR 1 filer too. As we already had assumed. I am calling lawyer on monday to see if we are still pending 129f approval as I see you are too. I will letyou know Monday night what he said.
Have a great Sunday everybody.
Missy
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-02 08:13:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanApproved I130 Termination the I129F/K3
Well the funny thing is that this summer the USCIS has waived the fee for the I129F. I believe they realize they were doing double the paper work for the same outcome. USCIS must do the same process for either petition and passed some other items to the NVC and embassy. If your I130 and I129F are their relitivly close they will approve both at the same time I have seen. I am not sure what the result of those situations were though. I am thinking that they could move forward with the k3.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-13 06:13:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanApproved I130 Termination the I129F/K3
QUOTE (SusieK @ Dec 5 2007, 09:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (MrsJibowu @ Dec 5 2007, 05:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I just got off the phone with my lawyer regarding Devine Mercy recent cancellation of her I129F/K3, which worried me because I had such and early approval of my I130. He stated that now that the I130's are getting approved sooner they want to avoid double the paperwork so they are moving forward with the I130. My lawyer stated that he is fighting three client's cases who are in the similar situations. He asked if I wanted to hold off on filling out the affidavit off support papers, because the more they have done they might not work the 129F for us. I told him to keep this moving along.

But I am still pursuing the K3.

I hope this helps someone.

Have a great evening.

Missy


I suggest that you ask the lawyer to send you dates and tracking numbers to everything he mails out for you. This hold him accountable to getting your stuffout in a timely manner. My lawyer added two months to are waiting time, because he did not mail our K3/I129 out till two months after my reciept date of the I130.


Cheers hun thanks, when we get that far I will go for anything even a taco salad without the salad - or wait, make that a salad without the taco - its nutz - and this week I am taking a break from even calling USCIS or my lawyer - too frustrating.

Good Luck

Susie

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-06 06:13:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanApproved I130 Termination the I129F/K3
I just got off the phone with my lawyer regarding Devine Mercy recent cancellation of her I129F/K3, which worried me because I had such and early approval of my I130. He stated that now that the I130's are getting approved sooner they want to avoid double the paperwork so they are moving forward with the I130. My lawyer stated that he is fighting three client's cases who are in the similar situations. He asked if I wanted to hold off on filling out the affidavit off support papers, because the more they have done they might not work the 129F for us. I told him to keep this moving along.

But I am still pursuing the K3.

I hope this helps someone.

Have a great evening.

Missy
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-05 17:55:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanAPPROVED!!!!!!!
Thank you for sharing your joy with us. I remember when I got the first approval. Although I was confused because it was approved in 80 days, I was running around screaming. It was a fun and exciting feeling. I kept the letter in my bible, but some how eventually lost it.

May your journey be smooth and expedited. AMEN

QUOTE (cinnamon3822 @ Dec 14 2007, 06:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hello everyone, this is my first time posting on this forum, I usually come and read. Me and my fiance got an approval December 13, 2007. kicking.gif Thank you JESUS the wait is almost over. What do we have to look forward to now???

Although I haven't been posting on this forum it has been a great help to me. Thanking you ALL!!!

It still seem like i'm in a dream. I could not sleep last night nor could I get any work done today, I kept looking at that approval notice.

Diane

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-15 06:51:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanYay!!!! We're approved!!!! :D
That is wonderful. You are almost done the process. If my husband and I planned better , we would not have gotten married.

Enjoy your elation.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-17 18:51:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanOn a Sunday
I said on Friday that there was going to be lots of good news to share. I can't even imagine how excite you must feel. Did you scream? I would have. LOL

Thank you for sharing your joys!
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-03 16:02:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanDoes faith in God insure successful marriage?
Wonderfully written! If both keep a faithfull commitment to GOD or your higher power first, you are guaranteed a rewarding, successful and committed marriage with obstacles that can be overcome.



QUOTE (Omoba @ Dec 20 2007, 01:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I believe the suffering in the article was for the sake of identifying with Christ, for His name sake.

It is my opinion that when both partners in a marriage abide in God and obey His word that the marriage will work.
Nobody is perfect though and while learning about the word, God allows circumstances into our lives to work unfavorable things out of us and to work good virtues into us. We argue but we also communicate and learn to do better and resolve conflict. Sometimes we suffer during this.
But we propel forward.

A lot of times it is both or one partners lack of insight and lack of obedience to God that is the cause of a failed marriage.
God wants the institution of marriage to work for the stability of the family, community and church.
Suffering persecution for Christs sake is different than suffering in a marriage where one or both do not put God first.
If one does the right thing and the other doesn't then we are instructed to pray for him/her and remain loving and kind.
Not easily done without abiding in His power.
We are given a way out if adultery has been committed.
The Bible instructs us also that if the unbeliever does not wish to remain in the marriage then let him go.
If he wishes to remain then allow him to do that.

I do not believe God wants us to suffer permanently in our marriage but He wants us to surrender our will to Him for a beautiful union with
Him at the core center.
This can be a difficult balancing act with one unwilling partner.
If you are equally yoked spiritually it is easier as life brings enough problems of its own.
So the choice we make in picking our partner is up to us and we live with the consequences, be it good or bad.

For many Christian woman, asking a man are you a Christian and getting the desired answer is enough, however we are instructed to test the spirits. To watch the action is important.....what fruit is he producing ? Sooner or later the true colors will show IF you take enough time to get to know someone. They will trip up ! In word or deed. Then you have your answer. We can ignore the red flag and make excuses or say nope he wasn't the one and move on.
We can pray for the gift of discernment and seek wise counsel. Answers are often in the subtle things.
I have seen marriages turn around with sincere prayer, fasting and making God the Lord of everything in your life.
To make a long story short, no I don't believe it is God's will for anyone to suffer in the marriage but for a season it may happen for God to turn it around in the midst of unpleasant circumstances.....yes all things work for the best for those that love God.
And yes sometimes suffering is an avenue to bring it about.
Do we, generally speaking, at times suffer in our walk with God ? You bet. May God give us a mate to walk this path with in comfort , confidence
and harmony, as one.

Edited by MrsJibowu, 26 December 2007 - 02:22 PM.

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-26 14:18:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanCalling Cards
QUOTE (Pattu Rani @ Dec 19 2007, 01:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I just signed up for Pingo because they keep a call record - have been using the NYC card which is 11 cents/min to call Kathmandu - I have not found anything cheaper and Pingo is the same rate. I am glad to see other people giving it positive reviews.



Thanks to this forum I am now using pingo too. Thank you everybody!!!!
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-19 15:01:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanAll-Encompassing Love
The on Source of all-encompassing love knows nothing of boundaries; differing customs; geographic divisions; family splits; or differences in race, creed, sex, and so on -- it only knows love for all.

As we celebrate this holiday with or without our significant other, lets rejoice in that love that is shared, nurtured, and given across miles of oceans, deserts, and land.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-24 10:07:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanWords of Inspirations
The opportunity to reach into the lives of others in an inspiring way arises every single day. You can either act on these momentary impulses and feel inspired, or you can ignore them and stay in your ego-dominated world. ... Dyer




I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid. I
remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big
sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered.
"Even dummies know that!"

My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day
because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told
the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier
when swallowed with one of her "world-famous" cinnamon buns. I knew they
were world-famous, because Grandma said so.

It had to be true.

Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her
everything. She was ready for me. "No Santa Claus?" She
snorted...."Ridiculous! Don't believe it. That rumor has been going
around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad!! Now, put on your coat,
and let's go."

"Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my second
world-famous cinnamon bun.

"Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that
had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors,
Grandma handed me ten dollars.

That was a bundle in those days. "Take this money," she said, " and buy
something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then
she turned and walked out of Kerby's.

I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but
never had I shopped for anything all by myself.
The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their
Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there, confused,
clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to
buy it for. I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my
neighbors, the kids at school, and the people who went to my church.

I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker. He
was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in
Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class.

Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out to
recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the
teacher that he had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't
have a cough; he didn't have a good coat. I fingered the ten-dollar bill
with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat!

I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real
warm, and he would like that.

"Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter
asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied shyly. "It's for Bobby."

The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about how Bobby really needed a
good winter coat. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag,
smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas.

That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag fell out of the
coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in Christmas paper and ribbons
and wrote, "To Bobby, From Santa Claus" on it.
Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over
to Bobby Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever
officially, one of Santa's helpers.

Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and she and I crept
noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk.

Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered,
"get going." I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the
present down on his step, pounded his door and flew back to the safety of
the bushes and Grandma.

Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open.
Finally it did, and there stood
Bobby.

Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering,
beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes.

That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just
what Grandma said they were: ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we
were on his team. I still have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside:
$19.95.


May you always have LOVE to share, HEALTH to spare and FRIENDS that
care....

And may you always believe in the magic of Santa Claus!

Merry Christmas!
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-26 07:57:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanBe Thankful for what we have.
AMEN God bless you and yours.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-24 19:32:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHusband Received EAD!!!
Prayer for Employment


Dearest GOD- I turn to you seeking your divine help and guidance as I look for suitable employment. I need your wisdom to guide my footsteps along the right path, and to lead me to find the proper things to say and do in this quest. I wish to utilize the gifts and talents you have given me, but I need the opportunity to do so with gainful employment. Open my heart and mind so that I may hear where my footsteps are to take me for gainful employment. Open my eyes for the abundance of opportunities and please God give me ever abounding faith and perseverance in myself and my abilities.

In gratitude I thank you - Amen

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-24 09:33:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanFinancial Stuff
Great advice. Thank you for taking the time to post and share.

QUOTE (chispas @ Dec 18 2007, 03:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hola again amigos and amigas
Right before I got married, a coworker, whose husband is an immigration lawyer, to sIt's hard enough managing money alone. Throw in another person and financial sparks will fly -- but these 24 tips can help.



MSN Money staff
Thinking of marriage? Prepare to bare your financial soul. Experts agree that couples need to talk about money -- the sooner, the better.

Before you get to 'I do'
Consider a prenuptial agreement. It's not just a document detailing how to split the assets after a divorce. It can absolve you of your spouse's debts, maintain assets for children from a previous marriage, keep a family business intact and ensure that the family home stays in the family. (See "Do you need a prenup?")

Bring up the idea of a prenup as soon as the relationship gets serious. It can help clarify each other's circumstances and goals.

Allow at least three months before the wedding to work out the details. A valid prenup involves lawyers and full financial disclosure. (See "The prenup problem.")

Most prenups provide that whatever property or debts you bring to the marriage will remain yours if the marriage dissolves. They also protect what you don't have yet, including property you expect to inherit.

No state will allow you to waive child support, dictate child custody or otherwise impinge on the rights of your children.

Getting through 'I do'
With the average cost of an American wedding nearing $30,000, there's a lot to talk about. Even if your parents are paying part of the cost, you might have to let go of some dreams, including the one calling for a perfect wedding. (See "Your fantasy wedding for less cash.")

Lay down a budget and stick to it. Write it down so there's no question.

Pay for your priorities. Decide what's most important to you and do everything else on the cheap.

Take half-measures. Rather than a full reception, have a desserts-only affair. Instead of a full bar, offer beer and wine.

Do your friends and family a favor and register for gifts in multiple price ranges. Today's bridal registries include outdoor gear, jewelry, wine and home-office supplies. (See "13 thoughtful, offbeat wedding gift ideas.")

Get married in spring or fall and enjoy the lower off-season rates. Not only will venues be less expensive, but you'll score off-season travel rates for your honeymoon.

Don't let the honeymoon break your budget, either. Sign up with a honeymoon registry that lets guests buy portions of your honeymoon in increments. Consider a honeymoon close to home or bid on a trip in an online travel auction.

Weddings can be costly even if you're not the bride or groom. For members of the wedding party and guests, there are ways to stay within your budget.

Give what you can afford, based on your relationship with the couple.

For bridesmaids, the dresses alone can be a nightmare. Ask if you can rent the dress or use one you already own. (See "The bridesmaid's survival guide.")

Creativity and thoughtfulness ultimately go further than cash. The key is to personalize the gift. (See "6 ways to cut costs on wedding gifts.")

The honeymoon's over
Money and the expectations we bring with it become sources of friction for many couples. Even if you've married your financial opposite (and many of us do), you need to find a way to financially coexist. (See "Why we fight over money.")

If you didn't have the money talk before the wedding, have it now. Get down to details when you discuss your lifestyle and your goals. (See "5 steps to wedded wallets.")

Ask your mate about his or her financial upbringing -- and be willing to explore your own.

Pick a good time to talk about money -- not at meals, right before bedtime or when inebriating substances are flowing.

Once you're on the same financial wavelength, figure out where your money goes. Then set some goals, such as saving for retirement, paying off debt, preparing for children or buying a house. (See "Should newlyweds buy a house?")

Set up a budget. Even if you had one when you were single, you need a new one that includes both incomes, debts and bills. (See "Budget your way to smarter spending.")

Decide whether to use joint or separate accounts or consider having "yours," "mine" and "ours" accounts. Experts agree that if a couple can't share their money in a checking account, it's probably a signal that something's wrong in the relationship. (See "Love, honor and a shared bank account.")

If one of you brought debt into the marriage, it becomes a problem for both of you. Work together to figure out a plan to pay it off. But don't officially commingle your debt; keep existing credit card and loan accounts in the original holder's name. (See "Take control of your debt.")

Update your paperwork, including wills, 401(k) beneficiaries, life insurance policies and the withholding amount on your income taxes. (See "Marriage means updating vital papers.")

Assess your emergency fund. Every couple should have enough money to cover three to six months worth of living expenses.

Happily ever after?
Once you're cruising along on a shared plan, you'll need to pay attention to keep your financial boat afloat.

Put yourself in each person's shoes. If one person is generally responsible for the budget and the other does the purchasing, switch roles every three to six months. This way, both partners know your financial situation.

Don't begrudge your spouse small indulgences, but do agree to consult each other on big-ticket items. Put a dollar amount on what constitutes a big-ticket item now, so there's no question later.

Don't keep money secrets.

And finally, don't criticize your spouse about money in front of others. Ever.

Published Nov. 6, 2007

uggested I get a prenup and follow some simple guidelines before marriage. Of course I didn't follow it, but I read an article today which is similar to what she outlined. Hope you find it good reading.

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-27 06:23:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanK3 Visa ... anyone got an idea what I need to get done?
K3 Forum Click that link to read tons of informaiton on the K3 process. Peoples are willing to help, but like you to do som reading first.

Welcome to visajourney.com people here are wonderful. I located this place out of frustration with my lawyer. The members here know more then him.

good luck. My your visa journey be smooth and expidited.



QUOTE (Timax Detty @ Dec 26 2007, 03:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
She would be coming to see me soon .. but we really do not know what it would take us to do so as to be able to get the K3 Visa. Please ... I would love to know everything that has to be done. Anyone got an idea what we need to get done besides the marriage thing? She is coming from the States ... and I am from Nigeria to be precise. Please .. hit me back

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-26 15:21:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanWhat Do You Think
They are defiantly mixed signals. People do desperate things in desperate situations. I am sure he enjoyed the relationship you had together, because you are a wonderful person; as are most people who go through this process with good intentions. It takes a lot of patience, compassion, love, and dedication to endure the financial strain with risk.



We all consider pros and cons to a relationship when we consider a person as a life long partner. Can you look back at your times together and say that they were fake or did he pretend to be someone he was not? Did you laugh together? Learn & grow? Those are things that are important in a relationship whether you are friends or married. They tend to not work out when one person keeps growing and the other person stay in place. Then we have to make the choice to move on.



I am glad that he is passing on good things about you.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-27 14:28:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemembering everyone
I read this person's experience of christmas in Nigeria. It sounds like so much fun. The spirit of family, friends, and Jesus.

<Quote>
christmas Eve, stew is made. start from the mid of month, family go shop for clothes, or stop by the tailor/fashion designer to collect your latest style.
morning of 24, you go to sasa (a good market for stew stuffs) to shop for tomatoes, atarodo, tatashe, tin tomatoes, oil and onions
father goes off to bodija for the live goat/agric fowl, tolontolon or cow.
mother goes off to bodija for the Uncle ben rice and asorted stuffs
24 evening, while dad busy killing the fowl/goat, mother starts clean the tomatoes, tatashe and onion/rodo
once done cleaning, oya off to engine for blending then she boils it till thicken. meanwhile, mother collects all the ngwogwo for peppersoup

the kids busy surrounding dad looking for little meat to roast.
if it is fowl, the kids are given the job of removing the feather
some kids get themselves busy with knockout, bisco etc

lots of christmas music , etc.

after cleaning of the fowl/goat/cow meat, cooking is next, olalala the aroma is more than words can say

once the meat is well cooked, ororo (vegetable oil) is place on fire for frying of the cooked meat.
next is making the real stew, nothing like christmas rice in nigeria always delicious.

christmas eve service at about 8pm or so. it continues till midnight depending on when the service started.
once sevice is ended everyone go in peace the service is ended but some start the fun beating drum and stopping over any known members home. ha, fun plenty o.
some people go home right after service.
early morning on 25th, mother start cooking rice, warming the large pot of stew. bean is also cooked some guys love their rice with beans.
kids start cleaning the whole place, re arrange everywhere in the house.
at 7am, get ready for church if possible. if not, stay in the kitchen with mother and watch her cook + run errands.
once everything is ready, most share food with other nearby neighbors. come see wacking and tasting.

then off to shower and dressing up with willy willy makeup kids always funny
later during the day, ojuju start coming out and you watch different fanfare from different tribes

my little childhood memory </quote>
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-30 20:04:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemembering everyone
Hello Bashorun,
You have quoted me, but I agreed with your impression of the posting. I do not feel that the OP meant harm in her posting and it was filled with love and compassion formed from her United States perspective.

My impression is that Nigerian people are pride filled people. They work hard, worship hard, and value family.



Maybe you quoted me because I was the last post, but it looks like your are talking to me.




QUOTE (Bashorun @ Dec 27 2007, 02:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (MrsJibowu @ Dec 26 2007, 12:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When I first read the post I thought the same thing as Bashurom. My husband's family and culture is so rich in tradition. I am looking forward to him sharing/incorporating that with our family. I think the traditions of family and church at Christmas are most important. Living inspirit with the reason why we celebrate Christmas.



Next year any gifts that are swapped at home have to be hand made, recycled, or made in the state of Maine.

My nieces spent the weekend in preparation for our family get together on Sunday before Christmas. My niece of 5 years said "I do not need Christmas gifts from you, because being here with you is like a gift." I was so moved.



Well sorry sister but someone has to correct the wrong impression americans has about africa, and who is going to do that??? An african native just like me. U won't believe how ignorant people are about africa but at the same time i don't blame them alone but the media thats make it even worse. I fight it everyday at work becos some ignorant people think becos am from africa, i shouldn't have gotten educated, i shouldn't be able to talk the way i talk, i shouldn't be able to make a wise comment about an issue. And when they try to bring me down, they say he's from africa like that has to demerit any wise or constructive idea I have brought to the table. I have to start first by saying, excuse me, am from nigeria, a country like the United States and nigeria is a country from the continent of africa. Go back to geography class.

Hey if U can't stand a correction then u better not post. When we are ready to post in a forum like VJ then we should be ready for someone to be against what we think, if we don't want that then something is wrong in that picture. It would only go out of line if I desrespect the poster which i will never do with my comments but rather inform and educate the posted of what i seem to know better so we can all learn from each other at the end of it all. That is the reason for VJ isn't it?? The person that posted whatever she posted has addressed her issue properly where the hell did U come from? I think U don't have an idea of where to contribute ur vent but rather my just friendly way of addressing an issue that i may think is wrong about africa. So when next U want to pick a fight for urself, pls pick the right one, this one u picked is definately the wrong one.


Happy New Year in advance!

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-27 14:46:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanRemembering everyone
When I first read the post I thought the same thing as Bashurom. My husband's family and culture is so rich in tradition. I am looking forward to him sharing/incorporating that with our family. I think the traditions of family and church at Christmas are most important. Living inspirit with the reason why we celebrate Christmas.



Next year any gifts that are swapped at home have to be hand made, recycled, or made in the state of Maine.

My nieces spent the weekend in preparation for our family get together on Sunday before Christmas. My niece of 5 years said "I do not need Christmas gifts from you, because being here with you is like a gift." I was so moved.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-26 11:20:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanSomething I "cased" copied and stole
Thank you for sharing! I have my weding on VHS so it inspired me to get it on DVD.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-29 06:44:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanStirring the pot - Nigeria
QUOTE (KenDC @ Dec 31 2007, 02:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am sorry if this post has caused problems.



I found the topic very interesting. Our marriage will be guided by the bible and God. Cultural difference will be accepted, tolerated, and appreciated with patience and love.


My next question was going to be are you going to allow your spouse to teach your children the language?

I would love his language (Yoruba) to be taught to our children and me.


Finally, Happy New Year to all and I hope everyone meets the person of their dreams, gets approved and has them in their arms by the end of 2008.

Happy New Year to you and your family. Your new year will bring an abundance of love, laughter, and joy.

Edited by MrsJibowu, 31 December 2007 - 03:51 PM.

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-31 15:51:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanStirring the pot - Nigeria
QUOTE (MrsJibowu @ Dec 30 2007, 04:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh and I do not remember what tribe he stated. But reading your post reminded me of what he said. I thought how can someone really narrow down a tribe like that?


QUOTE (Omoba @ Dec 30 2007, 06:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Good ones bad ones in each tribe and Nation.....will some people EVER GET IT ?????????


No, Like I stated " I thought how can someone really narrow down a tribe like that?" I do not remember having a smirk either. Nonverbal communication is difficult to decipher without them nonverbal ques. Please do not make assumptions on my demeanor at my time of communication. blink.gif
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-30 20:14:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanStirring the pot - Nigeria
QUOTE (KenDC @ Dec 29 2007, 11:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Reading all the posts - successes and disappointments, I am curious. Me and my wife spoke about it but want to see some evidence. Now this might stir up a hornet's nest but we are all adults here (I hope). If it is too controversial, then let it drop.

Where are most of your spouse's coming from?

West - Yoruba
South South - Edo/Delta state (many groups such as Ijaw, Bini, Esan)
South East - Igbo
North - Hausa

Disclosure, me and wife are Igbo. Thanks.


Well here I am to help you stir the pot. I met this guy on line years back. (i have told some of this story already) He stated that he was married already through a financial agreement but the other women would not return his call or file the paper work. He stated that if she did not he would have to pay for the divorce so he could get married to the one he really loved. LOL My long time Nigerian friend told me that he was probably trying to scam me. Then my friend said.... are you ready????......"What tribe is he from?" Because if he is from this tribe ........ he is definitely trying to scam you.

The dude was a scammer, but I am not one to let go of my money since I have a 9 year old son. Some of his story was he had to send money home to his brothers in college because sometimes they do not even have money for food. He would another day talk about how he had tons of nice clothing, but he does not make the money he used to. Talk about the expensive phones and jewelry that were stolen. Now how do you have family struggling, but you have all these nice things.

Oh and I do not remember what tribe he stated. But reading your post reminded me of what he said. I thought how can someone really narrow down a tribe like that?

Edited by MrsJibowu, 30 December 2007 - 03:53 PM.

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-30 15:50:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanWhat has to be sent to the Lagos Embassy before the interview
Overnight ASAP is what Chispas is saying. You will be in our thoughts and prayers till Jan. 8th.

QUOTE (chispas @ Dec 26 2007, 05:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (ZeeNusah @ Dec 26 2007, 11:04 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hey Missy smile.gif

All the documents must be taken with you to the inerview. Nothing needs to be sent beforehand to the consulate unless they specifically ask for it in the instructions.


Is she going to the interview too? If you are not attending the interview, then you urgently need to get the evidence to your SO quickly so he'll have time to go through your evidence. I believe your time-line states that the interview is Jan. 8th. Please take into consideration too the holidays and the mail service being slower this time of year.
Best Wishes
Chipas

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-27 06:28:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanWhat has to be sent to the Lagos Embassy before the interview
Hello Missy,

I know I have to send my husband items prior to his interview. Pictures, Cards, proof of communication such as emails, text messages, phone records, or instant messages. The needed items for the interview will be listed in Packet 3 or 4.

If you visit the link I have provided it will give you experiences at the Lago embassy. Nigerian Embassy

QUOTE (Missy1 @ Dec 26 2007, 12:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Guys...I need some urgent help. I am filing for a K1 visa in Lagos, Nigeria. Do I have to send them any documents before the interview date?

Edited by MrsJibowu, 26 December 2007 - 01:43 PM.

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-26 13:41:00