biggish data

QUOTE (Bassi and Zainab @ Jan 9 2008, 03:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You appear to be passing judgement superficially since you haven't read the book and you haven't cited any reviews of the book either. If you are choosing not to read the book just on the face of it for personal reasons that's obviously fine. It's a free world. But why share it with such vehemance? Remember that Jesus wasn't "qualified" for his job either....but people think he did a decent job.

I am explaining why I am not going to get the book and my opinion of the author’s appearance and site which lead me to that conclusion. I did not say the book was bad or good? Vehemence? When did sharing a perspective become termed as "vehemence". Please elaborate? I do not have intense feelings for my perspective. I am not forcing my opinions on you. I am not trying to influence anyone with my opinion. I did not address one person in my opinion or on their opinions.

I take my perspective as just that.

I have a right to my opinion, from perspective, from reality.

I am not where I need to be, but I thank GOD I am not where I was.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-09 15:41:00

I guess I just made the assumption that this book would be something with more substance because Oboma comes accross as a very worldy inteligent women. So when reading the first post I had a different view (I made the assumption) of what the book would consist of.

Now if she stated it was funny look at one person's perspective on African male with American women.
So visiting that site just drew such a contrast for me.

Yes, I do have a problem with people walking around with shades on at night or inside. I do not think it is fashionalbe, I think they have something to hide. I do not like people running around full of diamonds when people are starving, homeless, or sick without medicaiton.

He has a stance of errogance on his website.

Oh but status means nothing to this man.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-09 15:29:00

I just do not find his experience, embellishment, his character, and his style of writing and appearance worthy of $18 or my time.

I think is CEO claim denotes his view on "status". Diamond earrings when his Nigerian people as a whole are struggling. I find it disgusting.

Again those are my requirement for spending money and time reading books ..not yours. I am always looking for inspiration and growth spiritually.

I do not read fiction books. That is my choice. Doesn't mean people cannot find value in that. This doesn't mean that I will not discover a book that had met my requirement to be garbage.

I do not find his experience of hanging out in clubs with half naked women good experiences of cultural difference.

Edited by MrsJibowu, 09 January 2008 - 03:16 PM.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-09 15:15:00

QUOTE (ZeeNusah @ Jan 9 2008, 10:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (MrsJibowu @ Jan 9 2008, 07:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This topic got me real excited, because I love to read. I thought this would be a wonderful forum and still do, but after viewing "Oil King" Pete's book cover it really turned me off. Starting with the diamond earrings and sunglasses. The shiny suit I could of chalked up to poor taste, if it was not combined with the diamond earrings and glasses.

He does not have a degree in Anthropology. I would be interested to know how many tribes or American and African relationships did he immerse himself to come to these conclusions. Who did he reference? What studies did he reference? Who did he quote? I would be more interested in looking up that information.

If these are his opinions, then that is all they are His reality, his perspectives.

Pete "OIL KING" Agbo is the CEO of Coal City Entertainment. The CEO of his own self proclaimed company. I guess that makes me a CEO, because I own my own business. Have you visited the link to Coal City Entertainment? Do You know how many people claim to be CEOs f there own business through out the US, but mostly reside in the Boston, NY, and California area?

This is one of the quotes on his page
"By buying a Coal City Entertainment product, you join one of the largest and most active Music & Film communities in the world. As a member, you'll receive the following:" I will give him credit for taking personal phones calls and emails considering he has the "largest and most active Music & Film Communities in the world."

He has two products and A couple of rap star want-to-be"s clients. Do you really believe he is one of the largest most active Music and Film Communities in the world?

If you realize this statement is embellished, how can you trust the rest of the book? Kudos on his accomplishments or should I say his claimed accomplishments.

Let me know if you come across a book with some depth and resourcefulness. Right now I will stick with the BIBLE to guide me through my marriage.

You can visit this website for some wonderful advice on a successfully marriages.

http://davidoyedepom...:family_success

http://www.coalcityentertainment.com/

You may not find the book useful but have you read it? I find it presumptuous of you to make assumptions about this book seeing as how it has helped a lot of other women understand their SOs.

I don't have a degree in Anthropology but I have a lot of insight on this topic because I spent a lot of my life living in Ghana. I come from a different side of the equation because of this and I still have some questions about why my fiance does what he does.

How many threads on here have we asked for male SOs from Africa to chime in on what they think?

How many people have found the words of Francis to help them understand their husbands?

People learn in different ways and find different methods useful. While this book may not be an anthology of male African culture, it is the African culture from a male perspective (something none of us have) and even a little knowledge in this area will be eye opening for all of us. I'm not sure how many books are available on this topic but something tells me not many.

For me, the fact that he is from Africa gives him the ethos to write a book about this topic. You don't need to be an expert to have an opinion.

There is no need for you to come on here and condemn the man because you may not see any value in it. No one asked you to buy the book.

I did not say that anyone asked me to purchase the book. I did not say anyone else should not purchase the book.

I gave my opinion on the embellished statements he made on his website. His attachment to materialist items and "status" draws me to interpret that he is "ego" driven.

I did not say the book would not be good because he did not have a degree in Anthropology. Meaning when you decide if a book is worth reading and spending money i determine what qualifies him to right a subject. If it is his own expereience, to me that is not enough experiences.
Let me phrase this better Anthropology or has he done research, quoted research, immersed himself in other American and African relationships. Were the statements I meant to convey. Which lead to me believes that this is from his perspective & his reality.

Because of his book cover and web page, I know this gentleman has nothing to tell me about my husband or his beliefs, values, and culture.

Every women here who is considering to marry some from a different culture/tribe should know their SO culture’s beliefs, rituals, and celebrations. Then you get to know them better through interaction and communication, which can never prepare you for living with them.

I did not deny that the book might have helped people have a better understanding. From some of the stories I have heard here some women are getting cultural difference confused with character difference.

Oh because my opionion is not the same as yours I should not have one? My communication was not referenced to anyone who has read the book, who has not, who is going to, or what they think of the book.

They are my opinions on what I discovered in my excitement to purchase the book to participate in this forum. But when I did further research on the fellow, I was turned of by what I found.

I was only pointing out MY discoveries not anyone elses.

Oh, I am so glad that I posted something that initated some communication between you and I Zeenusah. Too bad it was negative.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-09 11:47:00

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-09 07:09:00

How much is too much?

QUOTE (ose_n_me @ Jan 8 2008, 01:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I posted this in another forum but didnt get much response. Would appreciate any help...Thank so much

God Bless

The following members have all had interview for K3 visa at the Lagos embassy. Send them a note.

Names

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-08 15:06:00

How much is too much?

QUOTE (ose_n_me @ Jan 8 2008, 01:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I posted this in another forum but didnt get much response. God Bless

Hello,
No matter where you post a topic it always shows up in the Nigerian Portal. Did you visit the link to the Embassy reviews?

I really do not think it is an exact science considering it might determine on who your interviewer is. I have read in the Nigerian Embassy review that he looked at a couple of pictures, a few emails, and then the interview was over. I would make sure you have supporting documentation for the inception of the relationship. Random items during and some stuff recent. I think I read someplace that you were living there for three months. That is the best proof to have.

It is difficult to get an immediate responce from people who have already been through the interview, because they do not frequent the forums as much as us doing the process. Be patient you will here from someone eventually.

QUOTE (MrsJibowu @ Jan 8 2008, 04:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good morning,
The embassy schedules the interview date. If your husband can collect his Packages before the embassy mails them he can schedule his appointment then. (personality & mood Dependant)

I can't answer to the rest, but if you go to the Forums about embassies they have lost of great information from people who have experienced it already.

Missy

The link http://www.visajourn...views/index.php

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-08 14:37:00

Left to tell by Immaculee Ilibagiza

Omoba, This name makes me think of Obama.
Have you read "Sorrow Mountain"? The journey of a Tibetan WarriorNun? It is co writtin with the Ani pachen(nun) and Adelaide Donnelley. Foreword by The Dalai Lama Preface by Richard Gere(doesn't mean much to me)

What a book about faith. anyone who need to strengthen there faith should read this amazing true story.

I am will to ship this book to anyone who feels comfortable providing me with a mailing address. I couldn't put the book down and I felt so weak compared to this frail & petite women.

QUOTE (Omoba @ Jan 9 2008, 12:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It is easier to get because it is a New York Times bestseller. Yes, very good book.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-11 06:32:00

Left to tell by Immaculee Ilibagiza

I am very excited to get this book. I have read most of Dr. Wayne Dyer's Books. I am currently reading an old one called the power of intention. His books are amazingly inspirational. I would read any book he recommends. I have a few of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s Books downloaded to my IPod. I listen to them over and over. I have one called 100 ways to stay inspired. I will try to upload it for you all to download.

QUOTE (Omoba @ Jan 8 2008, 08:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thank you Heather for another great book

This book has a foreword by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer and is written by Immaculee Ilibagiza with Steve Erwin, writer and award
winning journalist.

Immaculee's extraordinary spiritualty shines throughout her story of terror,endurance, healing and forgiveness.

" When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves."
Victor E. Frank MD,PHD, psychiatrist, author and WW2 holocaust survivor.

I highly recommend this book and it gives me a unique awareness of what my fiance had to endure during the decade long war
in Sierra Leone in the middle of atrocities committed to his people.
He lost a wife, parents and sisters and multiple friends and relatives. Yet, he has perseverance, love and kindness and forgiveness.

May all who have suffered find peace

and healing.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-09 11:57:00

PRAISE THE LORD

His journey will be safe and without delays. 2008 is the year of great things for all if the seek them. I am so elated you get to spend this great year with you future husband.

QUOTE (Destiny @ Jan 11 2008, 01:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hello Sub-Saharan family,

I haven't been on in a while. I've been quite busy preparing for Kessington's arrival and planning the wedding. We're getting married March 8th! I just wanted to pop in to let you know that my man is on his way as I write this!

Finally. I'm so excited!!! His POE is JFK. He is scheduled to arrive in NC at 2:05 pm EST.

2007 was certainly not without its obstacles, but God brought us through. We wouldn't have made it without his blessings. I pray that 2008 will be a better year, for all of us.

Well, I'd better be going. I have so much to do before he gets here!

I've cleaned just about everything except the chimney! LOL. I'll let you know that he made it safely. Take care and God bless.

Shanon

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-11 04:47:00

We are approved

I am sooo happy for you two. Good things come to those who wait for the almighty one!

QUOTE (chinemeze @ Jan 15 2008, 01:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

We have been finally approved. Thanks be to God

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-15 14:08:00

JENDA: A JOURNAL OF CULTURE AND AFRICAN WOMEN STUDIES

When you're able to transcend an aversion to silence, you'll also transcend many other miseries. And it is in this silence that the remembrance of GOD will be activated.
Dr. Wayne Dyer

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-16 09:28:00

JENDA: A JOURNAL OF CULTURE AND AFRICAN WOMEN STUDIES

QUOTE (MrsJibowu @ Dec 1 2007, 06:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Do I have doubt about our relationship. Sometimes i do, because i do not think he is fruitful enough with his time and he thinks more about making money in America then how he can help people. i said it. those are my doubt. i think that is his cultural differences, but will that be acceptable for me.

Yes, that is my husbands mind around western civilization around money. That is a quote about that I made around December 1, 2007. So yes I had to express concern to my husband choices around money. It was confusing to me at the time, but I believe he thought that is what I expected as being an American. So I do not make this up as I go. LOL

I have not an argument just an explanation and interpretation. I am not trying to make you out to being anything. It is what it is. If you think that is how I am making this to be, maybe it is. Because my motive is just to explain that this was not a "book club" as you insinuated & that I am always looking for way to reduce, reuse, and recycle. That the world has too much stuff in it already. Life is not about looking good, its about making people feel good. If you can do both that is just a bonus.

Oh yeah, I have already started the goal of being a Foster parent, but we can not move to the next step until my husband is in the US to finish the process.

My son saved his money to paid for the hat, not my husband. I am just so proud of my son's action that itwas an opportunity to share one of many stories of just how thoughtful and giving my son is.

Let me take this time to thank those who have sent me letters of support. Your time, thoughts and consideration are greatly appreciated. I am honored that I have been blessed with your kind words.

QUOTE (We_Destiny @ Jan 13 2008, 08:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (MrsJibowu @ Jan 13 2008, 06:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i am very pleased that Ewok split the topic. I think the forum has moved along forward and was proud that everyone ignored another recent bump in the road. As I apologized to Omoba the very next day, for interrupting such a wonderful idea! I am not going to explain what I said to her, because GOD knows the reason. That is who I aim to please. God always puts test to challenge me. and strengthen my faith, I accepted them and learn and grow from everyone. My goal in life is to deal with every situation that disturbs or disrupts me with a gentle kind piece of mind. Wow, it takes practice. I get better every time.

I am not where I need to be, but I thank GOD I am not where I used to be.

Isn't my son so cute. What a great smile too! My husband was way to generous with those earrings. He just loves to spoil his new son. even hired a table tennis coach while we were at the hotel. Insisted on increasing his weekly spending (allowance) money from $10 to $15 then transfered $150 in my checking account to cover 10 weeks of spending money. I told him that people in his country do not make that much money a week in your country so please do not send any more money. Did you see that $30 Boston hat my son purchased for the trip? He paid for that with his own money. He gave that and the earrings to a boy he befriended that took the pictures of us when we were visiting Badagry. His name "ELIJAH" could not have suite my son better.

I work for a non profit compnay by choice. I do not own one piece of clothing with a name brand. I shop at thrift stores and clearance. My goal in life is to own a large farm house with a small amount of animals. Then I would love to fill those extra rooms with 2-3 foster children that I can eventualy adopt. Saving a room for children that need to be place in an emergency. If I won the lottery my son and I would be working in a third world country rebuilding a community at a time. Those are my life dreams and passions. I just wanted you all to know a little bit about me while I was here.

I am sure Obama appreciates you sticking up for her. She is intelligent, kind , and thoughtful woman who has established some wonderful trusting friendships on this site. She is a blessing to the VISAJOURNY website.

Again your post regarding my 2 Articles and Book, which had no comments from me, Just cut and pasted articles was condescending presumptuous and purposefully placed. Unfortunately for you was way off base of my intention.

Isn't your SO home? I am sorry that your heart his filled with so much clutter that you are focusing even an ounce of your time on me. I appreciate your energy, but I suggest it could be better spent. You should spend this passion and time on your SO .. Not me, I am not worthy of your attention.

Oh yes, your son is a very handsome African / American boy, he is adorable. I only used the picture as an example to point out to you the hypocritical stance you took on the diamond scenario. So are you saying your Nigerian husband the preacher / pastor / deacon / elder / brother is materialistic, and instead of spending his hard earned money to assist you with your farm thing, he purchased diamonds and gave your son a hat that (could feed 3 children for a month). HUH that's your argument point (try that one again, I will give you a do over).

This is my last comment regarding this issue, we all are blessed no one more than the other. One only needs to appreciate and acknowledge the blessings bestowed.

Don't get it twisted My HUSBAND is well taken care of, and I choose to remain active on VJ. Since we are networking let me give you my CV. I work in a local university in the Office of International Programs, I facilitate students from abroad that want to come to the US to study, as well as US citizens that want to go abroad to fulfill their educational endeavors. I have traveled to Africa 7 times in the last year. So, when I was going through the process, I saw my man every two two months for a month at a time. I also am involved with a program through the US government; in the nest year we will provided over 3 million text books to the children of Ghana (primary through third grade) so am well aware of realistic philanthropy endeavors. To mention, at this moment my husband is participating in a meeting with people from his village that live in our area, to establish college funds, improve the infrastructure and roads in the village and to assist a the family return a body home for burial.

I don't shop at thrift stores, nor do I wear second hand anything. That is you own business you can try and save the world by wearing second hand clothes all you like, that is not my ambition. I think making a mark on world's inequities requires more than dressing tacky and talking a bunch of rhetoric.

I am not saying what you should do and or judging your actions. But, your attempt to continually check me is pathetic, and you should cease and desist. As you previously mentioned about not deserving my time, you don't, my schedule is filled, and therefore, I am done with you and your childlike, simple, evangelistic, and or judgmental perspective.

We-Destiny

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-13 22:07:00

JENDA: A JOURNAL OF CULTURE AND AFRICAN WOMEN STUDIES

More great pictures of my son. I know this is off topic, but hey you mentioned my son so I can use that as an excuse to post some pictures of him.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-13 19:35:00

JENDA: A JOURNAL OF CULTURE AND AFRICAN WOMEN STUDIES

Attached Files

PC230087__2_.JPG 38.1KB 11 downloads

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-13 19:01:00

JENDA: A JOURNAL OF CULTURE AND AFRICAN WOMEN STUDIES

This is exactly how forums turn to negativity. When people assign meaning to your post.

You should be embarrassed by your assumptions, but then again you do not really know me well. hhhmmmm this is the same behavior I was attacked for in Obomas Book Club. i am not trying to divide anyone? I post all over this forum, not just in the African forum. Because my SO is from Nigeria they show up in this portal. I have recommended books to other people from other countries.

OK WE Destiny... from now on I will ask Oboma's permission to suggest books to my fellow VJer's I am sure she has time for that.

Oh did you know that I was excited about the other book Oboma suggested? Or do you think I am out to get her or something? Like what are you thinking?? I think the book forum is going wonderful. I wish I trusted the content of the the book they were reading, because the conversation and critique fo the book is wonderful. It is one of the best forums going outside of the needed visa threads.

Your message was oh so very presumptuous.

QUOTE (We_Destiny @ Jan 12 2008, 01:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, we can randomly read books that have no correlation to our journey, and in a book club it is eventually done the subject matter will fluctuate. But at the inseption of a book club the goal is to keep people focused and interested to continue to participate. Would it not be wiser to focus on books that relatate to relationships between Americans and their foreign SOs.

Us participants of VJ are in mixed citizenship (culture) relationships. I for one can not relate to a Nigerian (Igbo) man and his Nigerian (Igbo) wife, and the hurdles they face living inside of Western culture together. Both coming from the same background, speaking the same language, and the primary catalyst is her becoming a physician earning more money then him. That is a totally different journey than the one we signed up for. Our SO's are potentially leaving everything behind them, leaving their country alone to come to a new world, and begin life again with us being the life line. We have to take the lead from men who are not accustomed to being led, we as srong independent women have to learn when to lead and when to follow. Pray they find their grounding and can then step up, stand out and be the men we know them to be.

Since Omoba came up with the book club, let anyone with book ideas submit them to her. Omoba can then come up with a list of books that can be agreed upon by the club participants.

It was a great idea not to disrupt the book club thread; but, starting a new one is premature and will only create division that could possibly create too much work for people to keep up with and potentially cancel out a good idea and a good deed.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-13 12:36:00

JENDA: A JOURNAL OF CULTURE AND AFRICAN WOMEN STUDIES

Congratulation on your studies Efia! I certainly unerstand the desire to read more entertaining work during school sessions. I couldn't even read a bookfor entertainment when I was in school other then what was on the agenda, but I also had a little baby at the time. I was reading picture books. LOL

This might be a great book for you SO, as it states it is great for the immagrant. I actually posted two intereseting articles (quick reads) in this thread. I just did not want to keep posting new threads on each article.

QUOTE (Efia06 @ Jan 12 2008, 03:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This book is too deep for me. I have a lot of theocratic reading and studying to do, so the secular books I read have to be an easy read and entertaining so I read them quick and get back to my usual reading and I am very discrimanting when it comes to choosing books that claim to have a Chrisitian perspective because the issues of doctrinal differences can arise and makes the book biased. I dont want all that when Im reading for entertainment and pleasure. I just want diversion not a college course. Sorry but I would love to keep hearing more ideas for the books, thank you.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-13 06:37:00

JENDA: A JOURNAL OF CULTURE AND AFRICAN WOMEN STUDIES

This is just some information I discovered on line regarding African struggles with the cultural differences. I am not trying to start a book club. I posted two articles and a book I discovered. Just some additional information.

You can read what ever books you choose to read. I do not have to run any books I suggest for reading past anyone. I stated that Oboma suggested reading inspired me to look up information on line regarding the topic in attempt to locate a book I might be interested in reading.

My goal is to understand my husbands possible struggles as he migrates into Western society. The bible will advise me on how to deal with his struggles. Basically with understanding (through reading), compassion, humar, patience, and love. Then I would like to figure out what traditions we can add to our family that will make him feel more at home when ever possible.

This book is actually suggested for the AFrican Immigrant. I didn't even suggest that you or a USC should read the book. I just posted the book and link in a post.

Again this post has nothing to do with the book club. So I am confused as to why you are insinuating that it is. I believe a poster suggested it might be a good book for th book club. Maybe you should suggest to her that she run it by Oboma, before she make a suggestion.

I love Oboma's idea for a book club, I look forward to participating when a book i am interested in reading comes out.

QUOTE (We_Destiny @ Jan 12 2008, 01:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, we can randomly read books that have no correlation to our journey, and in a book club it is eventually done the subject matter will fluctuate. But at the inception of a book club the goal is to keep people focused and interested to continue to participate. Would it not be wiser to focus on books that relatate to relationships between Americans and their foreign SOs.

Us participants of VJ are in mixed citizenship (culture) relationships. I for one can not relate to a Nigerian (Igbo) man and his Nigerian (Igbo) wife, and the hurdles they face living inside of Western culture together. Both coming from the same background, speaking the same language, and the primary catalyst is her becoming a physician earning more money then him. That is a totally different journey than the one we signed up for. Our SO's are potentially leaving everything behind them, leaving their country alone to come to a new world, and begin life again with us being the life line. We have to take the lead from men who are not accustomed to being led, we as srong independent women have to learn when to lead and when to follow. Pray they find their grounding and can then step up, stand out and be the men we know them to be.

Since Omoba came up with the book club, let anyone with book ideas submit them to her. Omoba can then come up with a list of books that can be agreed upon by the club participants.

It was a great idea not to disrupt the book club thread; but, starting a new one is premature and will only create division that could possibly create too much work for people to keep up with and potentially cancel out a good idea and a good deed.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-13 06:29:00

JENDA: A JOURNAL OF CULTURE AND AFRICAN WOMEN STUDIES

A few months back I had read an article where the author (do not remember her name) blamed the break up of African marriages on Wester culture. Even the marriages still in Africa. It was boiling down for the desire to live in western style,which required the quest for money to acquire "stuff". I think that article peeked my interest in this book.

I will let you know what I think.

QUOTE (Omoba @ Jan 11 2008, 10:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I will have to pass on reading this one.

While I am sure it is excellent reading for both being African spouses in Western culture, I am focused on specific conflict resolution and avoiding pitfalls between the dynamics of mixed African and Western relationships.
It is the difference therein that intrigues me and not the sameness placed in a different environment. I can't relate.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-12 07:29:00

JENDA: A JOURNAL OF CULTURE AND AFRICAN WOMEN STUDIES

QUOTE (We_Destiny @ Jan 11 2008, 10:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

How many book clubs are going at one time?

Omoba post on cultural difference really peeked my interest to discover what is out there on the topic. I will not get the book until next week. I already told my husband out the book. What really interest me is that he has written the book with a Christian perspective along with references to passages from the bible.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-12 07:21:00

JENDA: A JOURNAL OF CULTURE AND AFRICAN WOMEN STUDIES

I think it would be a great book to read. He states that any african Immagrant should read this book too. We will have it to pass when they arrive soonest. soonest my husband always says. Makes me laugh.

QUOTE (Bassi and Zainab @ Jan 11 2008, 03:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know it specifically says African marriages, but I think that maybe we can read this in our book club next. It looks like a great addition to the discussion of intercultural marriage that we are attempting to pursue. What do ya'll think?

QUOTE (Bassi and Zainab @ Jan 11 2008, 03:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What have been your experiences? I find that this definitely reflects Bassi. He doesn't have "arguments" like I understand an argument to be. Or even a disagreement of some sort. And I think at first he thought I was just being combative, but then was surprised at instances where I would say, well, I guess you are right. I agree with you so we can do it your way or whatever. He said that he thought maybe american women were just very argumentative and wanted to have their own way and not submit to their husbands. Which I don't believe is true of me, anyway.....I am ready to submit to him or I wouldn't marry him. But I still state my opinion.

I was, however, told that if we have a significant problem or if I'm in danger, I should speak with a specific member of his family who will intervene to put our marriage back on track. So, his tribe expects that there will be issues that may need to be handled by the family. But I suppose you shouldn't be discussing it with friends or coworkers. Nothing casual. It's seriously disrespectful.

With my husband I am always right. He never tells me his problems. When we were visiting in Africa his phone was stolen the first day. The kid sitting with him on the bus grabbed his phone and fell out the bus. My hsuband though poor kid..he fell out the bus, until he realized his cell phone was gone. My load mouth American friend told me what happend.

HE always says "ok, hunney" I can here him now.

My brother in law has been very helpful to help my understand my husband. I have heard about that ritual in Ghana where you are assigned to an elder.

QUOTE (Bassi and Zainab @ Jan 11 2008, 03:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Bassi, shows me affection in public. No slobering or some of the things people feel comfortable doing these days...But holding hands or something like that he doesn't have a problem with. He used to be a little goofy around his brothers. But I think it's because they mock/tease him about our relationship. Only one of his brothers are married. One day it'll be their turn.

My husband often held my hand and gave me quick kisses. It was just enough, since Elijah (son) was around. My son adores my husband.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-11 15:28:00

JENDA: A JOURNAL OF CULTURE AND AFRICAN WOMEN STUDIES

Click
Peculiar Conflicts - African Marriages in Western Cultures read with interest Dr. Tonye David-West's article on "For Better for Worse...Why Nigerians are divorcing in America". In 2001, I went into full time ministry speaking mainly in the area of marriage and as I travel in America and Europe, I noticed the alarming rate of divorce among African Immigrants.

That year I developed a questionnaire that was distributed in London, England and within the United States. I also interviewed many people as I travel. My conclusion was published (subjectively in a book titled -"Peculiar Conflicts - African Marriages in Western Cultures"). The book can be purchased on-line at http://www.amazon.co...8042857-9653607. I was subsequently invited to speak on the same topic on TBN Channel 14 in Houston TX in December 2003. A review of the book was also done by Omaha World Herald (a newspaper with 600,000 circulation) on April 3rd 2003 http://www.alegent.c...a...tail&ref=82.

The few questionnaires returned and my interviews pointed to two main reasons why Africans (not just Nigerians) are divorcing in Western Countries. The first is the prevalent culture in Africa and second is the influence of our African traditional religion. When an African man or woman born and raised in Nigeria, Ghana, etc such a person is greatly influenced by the culture and religion and may not be aware of it.

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Characteristics (some) of African Religion and Culture

1. Issue of Dowry and the role of the man and woman

The payment of dowry is a common practice in Africa, while dowry payments date back to Bible days, its meaning has changed. Dowry is now seen as purchasing the woman, so the woman is seen as a property and not a helpmate.

For many years when women were uneducated, men got away with treating them as a property. But with women lawyers, doctors, and other highly placed professionals, things are changing.

Based on the issue of dowry, women are treated different. We joke that a woman's place is in the kitchen. African men force respect out of their spouse by beating them instead of getting it through good leadership. The leadership role of a man is generally interpreted as that of a boss and servant, instead of the role stated in the Bible, as servant leader which Christ himself demonstrated in John chapter 13 when He washed the feet of His disciple.

While speaking to over 100 pastors and wives in Port-au-Prince, Haiti last week (4/8 - 4/16/05) you could have heard the pin drop when I said men and women are equal before God and men are only the leader among equal.

Earning more than your husband is a new concept that many people don't know how to deal with because for decades African men (and indeed men all over the world) have tied leading the home to financial dominance or more earning capacity.

2. Conflict Resolution

Africans have always resolved conflicts by going to the Elders in the village or among the extended family, while this has served us well and I still recommend it, it's becoming a problem for us to do because this elders for the most part don't deal with the issues brought up e.g. adultery (because they are committing adultery themselves), they only pacify the wife and husband. Because of our Spiritual believes we do not believe in airing our dirty laundry, which means help is not sought for marital problems until it is too late and when help is sought, a lot of emphasis is placed on what the "devil" did instead of taking responsibility for what happened and fixing it. Every marriage will have problem(s) the and faster you seek help the better for your marriage.

3. Romance

My maternal grandpa had 10 wives that I know and this is typical of men in his days (read my novel "The Power of Forgiveness" - by Femi Awodele xulonpress.com). If they show favoritism to one of the women, that woman is in trouble with the other wives. A man who is able to have sex with 10 different women do not need romance (men give romance to get sex, while women give sex to get romance - Tommy Nelson). As Africans we did not see our parents show romance to their spouse(s) and if anyone does that we call them names "woman wrapper" or "Ruth". What gets on my nerves is when African men tell me that being Romantic is a western culture, then I refer them to the Bible which was written thousands of years ago and it has nothing to do with western culture.

Being romantic with your wife or husband is the way to maintain your marriage. Women were created by God to be an emotional creation, while men are logical or analytical. For centuries, the African culture has forced the woman to work opposite the function of their God given hormone "estrogen" (If an African woman asks her husband for sex - which will happen during her ovulation period - she is called "Ashawo")

4. Influence of Extended Family

Extended family has tremendous influence on an African Marriage. A couple once told me that the husband's mother told both of them separately not to reveal what they earn to each other. In my speaking engagements, people have told me how the husband or wives listen to the family in Nigeria or Togo and not to the spouse they live with here in the United States or in London. One man actually told his wife that until he finish building a house in Nigeria they will continue to live in apartment with 3 kids, when I ask him when he was moving back to Nigeria, he said not for a long time, but he believed building a house for his parents while his kids live in a bad neighborhood and go to a bad school district is the best thing. Many women soon challenge the reasoning behind such thinking by refusing to combine their income (which is needed to face the bills in western countries - you cannot bribe NEPA men to go away if you don't pay your bills). A lot of women also, choose not to combine their income with the husband because they think, it is the husband's job to pay bills - they'll rather buy the latest fashion and its accessories from Switzerland or Austria.

5. Extreme of the Women While most of the dominance is men related, the women have also bought into the lies of the national organization of women (NOW). I do lay counseling and would not tell any woman to stay in an abusive relationship. I would suggest you separate (if physical or emotional abuse is involved) while seeking help from professional counselors or your church or mosque (hopefully your pastor or imam will know when to refer you for professional help). Divorce is not the better option. The man is still the head of the home (Ephesians 5: 22 - leader among equal) and he should be accorded such respect. Don't usurp his authority because you earn more or throw him out because he is a Taxi driver. You will get more done by gentle nudging him to do things and occasionally showing tough love when necessary.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-11 14:20:00

JENDA: A JOURNAL OF CULTURE AND AFRICAN WOMEN STUDIES

Forging harmony when cultures clash
08/08/2007
BY LISA PRUE
WORLD-HERALD STAFF WRITER

When Femi Awodele's American friends learned his wife was in medical school, they congratulated him.

Femi makes snacks for Fiyin, 3, left, and Ibukun, 8.
"That's great," they said. "She will make a lot of money."

But Femi Awodele didn't feel so great. In fact, in Awodele's native Nigeria it would be embarrassing for his wife, Ola, to make more money than he.

In Nigeria, men are unquestionably the head of the household. They provide for the financial needs of the family, while women take care of the home and children with help from a nanny and a maid. Indeed, in some parts of the country women still are considered property, and men are allowed to have more than one wife.

The situation is just one example of the cultural differences between traditional African and Western societies that can cause stress in the lives of immigrants. Now Femi Awodele has written a book, "Peculiar Conflicts: African Marriages in Western Cultures," to help other couples adjust to American ways.

Women in the United States exercise more independence than women in Africa, and that is a difference that would prove a challenge for the Awodeles, who were married in 1992.

"It was a roller coaster," says Ola Awodele, who is a family practice physician at the Alegent Health Maple Hills Clinic. "I wasn't aware of how much (the money issue) bugged him."

Says Femi, "Psychologically, it was tough for me."

Ola, who was born in West Virginia and lived there for seven years before her family moved back to Nigeria, was more familiar with western society than her husband.

The Awodeles say they are lucky. Their marriage survived the changes, but many do not.

"Men try to continue in that traditional role once they move to a western culture," says Femi. "But the wife is pushing for more independence, more of a partnership from the marriage."

The Awodeles (pronounced OWW-wo-deli) moved to Omaha in 2000. That year Femi founded Christian Couples Fellowship International, a nonprofit marriage ministry.

Ola with patient Terry Morris.

Through the marriage ministry and his book, Femi hopes to reach out to struggling African couples. There are at least 100 African couples living in the metro area, he said.

"Femi and Ola inspire others," says Ope Banwo. "They've made a tremendous impact in the Nigerian community here."

Banwo, a Nigerian pastor now living in Omaha, said the Awodeles prove that African couples can adjust to life in a western culture without divorcing.

Part of the problem is that African couples don't talk about their troubles, Banwo said. Even in their native countries, couples don't air their differences.

"If a man does, he is seen as not having control of his family," said Banwo, "and if the wife talks about it, she is considered a traitor to the marriage."

The Awodeles are helping to change that perception.

Ola often joins Femi when he speaks at marriage seminars.

"That is a big boost for the African couple," said Banwo. "They are encouraged."

Femi says his Christian faith has helped him accept the changes in his marriage.

He is comfortable with the fact that his wife makes more money than he makes; he loves taking his children back and forth to school; and he relishes his marriage ministry, which allows him to work out of the couple's northwest Omaha home.

There still are times, Femi said, when he is uncomfortable, such as showing affection to his wife in public, including in front of their own children.

Femi says he also changes his behavior when his parents visit from Nigeria, taking on a more dominant role out of respect for them and to protect his wife from scrutiny.

"African couples begin to question their marriage once they move to a western culture," says Femi, "but they can adapt."

Article reprinted with permission of Omaha World-Herald.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-11 14:14:00

JENDA: A JOURNAL OF CULTURE AND AFRICAN WOMEN STUDIES

Abstract
This article argues that African ethical and conceptual systems have an important contribution to make to theorization of complex African-western families which are forming in some locations around the globe as the result of migration and cross cultural marriages/relationships. Drawing on my research into transculturation in heterosexual African and (non African) Australian relationships, I argue that despite formidable obstacles both in terms of the hegemony of the monogamous nuclear family model, and patriarchal attitudes toward female sexuality, “Africanization” of relationship and family structures can occur in western locations in ways which are not antithetical to women’s rights, responsibilities and desires. The nuclearization of the family may be taking root in Africa, but this is not a one way migration. As Niara Sudarkasa says, when nuclear and extended family structures which evolved in Europe and Africa (respectively) are transported to other cultural contexts, “transformations in . . . familial roles and relationships have occurred and will occur” (2004: 2).

Key words: African ethical and conceptual systems, African-western families, transculturation, post kinship studies

Background Information About the Research
In my psycho-social research into relationships between first generation African immigrants and non African women and men, many interviewees talked about ethical dilemmas, emotional distress, and economic hardship related to immigration processes (Stopford, 2006). A particular focus was the phenomenon of African men who had wives and families in Africa duplicitously marrying non African Australian women of diverse ethnicities for their “papers.” Most participants, including non African Australian women who had been deeply hurt by deception and shocked by the unexpected arrival of an African wife, were conscious of the global and local political/economic conditions which severely disadvantage non elite Africans, forcing them to adopt a variety of strategies to gain access to more affluent western countries.

On the whole, my interlocutors were remarkably insightful and compassionate about the ways in which these global economic and political forces (including of course the legacy of colonialism) impact on African—western relationships and families and limit the potential for trust, honesty and mutuality. As one white respondent put it; “Why should they be honest with you . . . when white people have done so much damage in Africa, why shouldn’t they just come and get what they can?”

However, while they were aware of the negative impact of western economic and political hegemony on the viability of long term African Australian relationships and families, few of my respondents mentioned other socio-cultural forces which also work against the survival of marriages between African migrants and non African Australian partners. These forces I describe as the Christian-Judaic model of monogamous nuclear family, and patriarchal attitudes toward female sexuality, both of which serve to prevent the development of ethical trans global complex family systems which can better serve a variety of economic, psychological and sexual needs. In regards to the silence of my respondents, even those non African women who had had to confront the existence of African wives seemed not to have realized that African traditions of extended and plural families might have offered a humane solution to their ethical and emotional dilemmas, while the majority of my African respondents seemed either loathe to discuss polygyny with a non African interviewer, or were themselves opposed to plural relationships and families.

Of 20 respondents, there were two in particular (a non African woman and an African man) who spoke at length about the differences between western and African attitudes toward sexuality and marriage. In this article I will use “Josephine” and “Kwasi’s” narratives, and their dialogue with me, as the ground from which to explore some of the complex dynamics at play in this contact zone. Using a method of process and analysis derived partially from relational psychoanalysis, I try to explore both conscious and unconscious processes at play in the narrative of my respondents, and in the conversations between myself and my interlocutors (see Stopford, 2004). In accordance with relational psychoanalytic principles, and critical race (see Ladson Billings, 1994) and collaborative cross cultural research practice (see for example, Haig-Brown, 2001), open discussion and analysis of my subjectivity as researcher is included. This includes a section toward the conclusion of the article on my own experience as a member of an extended African – western family which illustrates the way African ethical and conceptual systems can contribute to the creation of non exploitative subject positions for women in complex cross cultural, trans global relationship and family systems. As my research methodology included a participatory dimension, my respondents read and commented on my analysis of interview texts, and neither Josephine nor Kwasi had any objection to my interpretation.

Kinship and the Nuclear Family
Rest of the Study click here

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-11 11:36:00

Be Led by the Spirit

Today's Scripture

“Those who are led by the Spirit of God are the sons of God” (Romans 8:14).

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

Have you ever started to do something when you had a little nudging on the inside of you telling you to do something completely different? Sometimes it’s easy to override that little inward voice, but that small voice deep on the inside of you is how God speaks to you. It’s how He leads you by His Spirit. When you follow the Spirit’s leading by faith—even when it doesn’t make sense—you are making a declaration with your actions that you are a child of the Most High God. Those who are led by the Spirit of God are the sons and daughters of God. The more you yield yourself to His leading, the easier it becomes to follow Him. You’ll hear His voice in the midnight hour giving your direction about which steps to take. You’ll hear His voice affirming you and guiding you into everlasting peace. Remember, God lead’s us by peace and joy. He’s never condemning but He always leads you into Truth. Take time today to tune out the other voices so that you can be led by His Spirit into the life of victory the Lord has in store for you!

A Prayer for Today

Heavenly Father, thank you for leading me by Your Spirit today. Thank You for filling me with Your joy and peace. Help me to clearly know Your voice so that I can follow You all the days of my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-18 08:56:00

He Improves Those He Loves

Today's Scripture

“…God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness” (Hebrews 12:10).

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

Aren’t you glad that the God of this universe loves us enough to discipline and shape our character? Webster’s Dictionary defines “discipline” as training that corrects, molds, or perfects mental faculties or moral character. God improves our character through His training. While you are on this earth, you are constantly in spiritual training. Your faith is being trained, your character is being trained, and your heart is being trained to be more like Him. God is training us so that we can be holy, or set apart, in our mind, will, and emotions. Holiness is important to God because the Bible says that without holiness, we won’t be able to see Him. God doesn’t want anything to come between you and Him. He wants to be with you. That’s why He chose to make your heart His home. When you allow Him to shape, train, and improve your character, you will be holy and you will see Him. Receive His loving guidance today as He shapes and trains your character. Let Him work in your life and respond to His tender leading. As you do, you’ll rise higher in every area and live the life of victory the Lord has planned for you.

A Prayer for Today

Father, thank You for Your discipline in my life. Thank You for molding and shaping my character so that I can be more like You. I welcome your correction and submit myself to You in every area of my life. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-14 06:14:00

Monagoz, I really needed this one today. God always places the ones you need in your path if you seek him.

Thank you for being the messanger!

QUOTE (monagoz @ Jan 11 2008, 11:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

MrsJibowu, may the good Lord bless you for the wonderful words of the scripture you post each day.

My scripture for today is Proverbs 3: 5-6

TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING
IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM, AND HE SHALL DIRECT YOUR PATHS.

Edited by MrsJibowu, 12 January 2008 - 07:15 AM.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-12 07:14:00

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-11 07:26:00

Look Straight Ahead

Today's Scripture

"Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you" (Proverbs 4:25).

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

What are you looking at today? I don't mean in the natural, but in the spiritual. What is in the forefront of your mind and heart? Are you constantly dwelling on your problems, or things that have happened in your past? In the natural, you will move in the direction that your eyes are looking. In the spiritual, it works the same way. Whatever you focus your mind and heart on, you will move towards. That's why this verse tells us to look straight ahead. If you are constantly dwelling on your problems, or things in your past, wondering "what if" then you will stay right where you are. But if you choose to forgive and release the past then you can focus on what is ahead of you and you'll begin to move forward. God doesn't want you to live in the past. He wants you to meditate on His goodness and believe His promises so that you can keep growing. God is a creative God and He has designed a wonderful future for you. Look straight ahead so you can see it and move forward into the live of victory God has promised!

A Prayer for Today

Heavenly Father, today I set my focus on You. I choose to forget the past by forgiving others so that I can look straight ahead to Your promises. I ask that You direct my heart on the path of life that You have for me. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Edited by MrsJibowu, 11 January 2008 - 04:42 AM.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-11 04:40:00

Naggi,
Have you ever read "The Purpose Driven Life"? I was recomending it to someoen in another forum and thought of you.

I purchased this book for my mom this christmas. It has been the gift from god to her. I am excited to get it myself. my brother in law has read the book also and thought he had a spiritual movement after.

Here is the link:

http://www.amazon.co...-...9028&sr=1-1And the book is only $10 with priceless rewards.

Have a great day,

Missy

QUOTE (Nagishkaw @ Jan 10 2008, 07:14 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It was very hard for me, also, and I do struggle with faith every now and then . The flesh always wrestles with the spirit.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-10 10:40:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Focus on the Unseen

Today's Scripture

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:18).

Today's Word from Joel and Missy

Every obstacle in your life is subject to change. It doesn’t matter what you may be facing, there is an answer in the unseen. The unseen is the spiritual realm where the promises of God exist. Your faith brings those unseen things into this natural realm. When you are fixed on something, you can’t be moved. There’s a determination that fuels your focus. When you fix your eyes on the unseen—the promises of God—your faith will not be moved by your circumstances and you’ll eventually see those promises come to pass. Make the decision today to fix your eyes and mind on the promises of God. Meditate on His promises until they become more real to you than the air you breath. Declare that His promises will come to pass in your life. Declare that you have His favor. Declare that you are more than a conqueror. Don’t allow fear and doubt to change what you are speaking over your life. As you continue to fix your spiritual eyes on the unseen promises of God, you will see those things come to pass in the natural and you will move forward into the abundant life the Lord has for you!

A Prayer for Today

Father God, today I choose to fix my eyes on you. I choose to fix my mind and heart on your promises, no matter what it looks like in this natural world. I know that Your Word is true and that your promises will be fulfilled in my life. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Faith was hard for me to walk in at first, but when I recieved it I was in awe. What a feeing feeling.

QUOTE (Nagishkaw @ Jan 9 2008, 01:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2008-01-10 06:30:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

When you call DOS sometimes you get a helpfull person. Sometimes they are difficult with out any information. I found it helpful to say that I was calling to find out if there has been any updates to my case. This lets them know that you know they can see embassy updates from their screen. Elimanating the need to pull teeth for information.
DOS

(202) 663-1225

Order of Touch tone, 1, 4, 2, 3, 0

QUOTE (KnightAndMagpie @ Mar 30 2009, 02:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (MrsJibowu @ Mar 30 2009, 06:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

AP= no time limit or tractable time limits

AP in your country is not common and from what Revived states not long, but still you are not able to calculate or predictable. You will not be able to make any plans until they call you. You can call the DOS to get updates to your case. They might be able to see what the embassy is working on. My your AP be expedited!

Thank you so much for your words. I might call DOS today to find out what exactly it is they are checking. :: Hugs ::

Magpie.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2009-03-31 09:43:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

QUOTE (KnightAndMagpie @ Mar 30 2009, 10:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Revived @ Mar 30 2009, 05:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Were you missing any documents?! UK's Admin Processing is not as long, don't worry!

Thank you, Revived...and I was missing my birth certificate, I only had a photocopy of a certified copy. I didn't have any originals because of the circumstances under which I became estranged from my family and relatives. I gave them a police letter explaining what had happened and everything, so I don't know if they're making sure my story checks out. Do you have any idea how long the UK admin processing is...? It's just that I really wanted to fly out before the end of May and I can't stay in university dorms beyond the 12th of June. On top of that, I have to make sure my cat gets his medical checks two weeks in advance of flying.

Magpie.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2009-03-30 10:18:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Sorry to hear the new AP's but trust the that this is just another part of the process that is becoming more common among embassies.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2009-03-28 14:28:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Cangratulations! I love to hear this news browneyes. Come back and help me keep the spirit up in here.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2009-03-22 12:45:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

QUOTE (SAD EYES @ Mar 18 2009, 04:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hey yall can update my status on the list....TURN ME BLUE! finally out of ap and passport being sent!!!!

Congrats!

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2009-03-19 08:27:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Yes, if the proof you submitted help validate the realtionship. Even if they didn't request additional information your country put many people in AP. Just consider this part of the proccess and put your faith in your higher power and your realtionship.

May your AP be expidited.

QUOTE (221(g) at Mumbai @ Mar 15 2009, 10:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hello,

Is anyone from Mumbai Consulate got 221(g) Pending Letter and then received K-1 visa ?

If so, I like to hear from you what kind of Pending letter was for and how long it took from receiving pending letter to actually getting the Visa.

MY SITUATION:

My fiancee just received 221(g) letter asking for Additional Proof of Relationship on Jan 21 2009. Consulate didn't specify what specif proof it needed.

Anyways, we sent the all necessary required proof on Jan 27 2009. However, we have not heard back from Consulate.

We sent an email inquiry re: Case Status. And Consulate replied stating...

"Your case is in Administrative Reivew and it unable to tell how long it will take to process the case, it will try it best to process it quickly"

DO I HAVE ANY CHANCE OF GETTING VISA AFTER RECEIVING 221(G) LETTER ??

Please help.........................

Thanks.

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2009-03-16 06:57:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Thanks for sharing the great news!

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2009-03-09 12:39:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

I am so happy for you. What an amazing feeling. Almost too good to be true huh. You will be rewarded for your patience with appreciation for each other.
best regards,

QUOTE (Revived @ Mar 6 2009, 02:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

udpate tracker,

Called DOS, was told visa was printed 2/26/09. Embassy is yet to contact us for the passport and the expired docs.

I hope they contact us soon=))

Enlighten one :)

Female

Nigeria

2009-03-06 14:45:00