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Africa: Sub-SaharanALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE
He is the Deliverer

Today's Scripture

“A Righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all” (Psalm 34:19)

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria Missy

No matter what “troubles” you may be facing today, God has promised to deliver you! And notice this verse doesn’t say He's going to deliver you from “some” of your troubles — “if you say and do everything perfectly.” No, if you are righteous today, God promises to deliver you from all of your troubles. How do you know if you are righteous? When you receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior, when you accept His forgiveness and believe He is working in your life, then you are righteous. Your faith and belief in the goodness of God is His righteousness at work in your heart. The Bible says in Romans 4, that “Abraham believed God and it was counted to him as righteousness.”

If you are facing troubles today, expect that God has a way of escape for you. Expect that He is working behind the scenes on your behalf. Meditate on this verse and let it sink deep into your heart. Know that God is good and He is your Deliverer today. Believe in His goodness and faithfulness and He will deliver you into the life of victory that He has planned!

A Prayer for Today

Heavenly Father, thank you for making me righteous by the blood of Jesus. I receive Your promises and choose to believe that You are working behind the scenes on my behalf. Thank You for being my Deliverer today and always! In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-07 14:02:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE
It was a joke. Did it make you laugh? LOL It makes me laugh when I put my name there.

QUOTE (Boaz @ Jan 3 2008, 04:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (MrsJibowu @ Jan 1 2008, 11:21 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria & Missy



Just curious .... is this from Joel and Victoria Olsteen? If so, why is Victoria's name marked through and replaced with the name Missy?

Thanks!



Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-03 17:17:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE
God is at Work

Today's Scripture

“We thank God continually because, when you received the Word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as the word of man, but as it actually is—the Word of God which is at work in you who believe” (I Thessalonians 2:13 NIV).

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria Missy

When you receive the truth of God’s Word in your heart, it automatically takes root and begins to work in your life! You may not always see it right away. You may not always feel it, but know that God began a good work in you, and He is faithful to complete it. When you are faithful to receive His Word, it opens the door for Him to work. The Bible tells us that the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword. That means, if there’s any confusion in your life, or if anything is unclear, the Word of God will divide the truth from the lies. The Word of God will direct you and light the path you should take. The Psalmist talks about loving the Word of God and making it your meditation night and day. I encourage you to find a few scriptures and write them on note cards. Ask the Lord to make those verses come alive in your heart. As you pursue and love the Word of God, you will see Him working. You will rise higher in every area and live the abundant life He has in store for you.

A Prayer for Today

Father in Heaven, thank You for working in my life by the power of Your Word. Thank You for loving and setting me free. I choose to receive Your Word because I know Your Word brings life. I bless You today. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.



You are more then welcome Boaz! innocent.gif

QUOTE (Boaz @ Jan 2 2008, 07:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thank you Mrs. J and Nagi for sharing these words of truth and inspiration.

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-03 15:42:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE
Thank you Nagi, i really like that one.

QUOTE (Nagishkaw @ Jan 2 2008, 09:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Shalom, Fellow Believers,

Scripture for today:

"Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14 NIV)

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-02 18:53:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE
QUOTE (unononehigher @ Jan 1 2008, 05:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I thank you so much for these words of encouragement and prayers of enlightenment. My husband and I are are Pentecostals and we believe in an all knowing, all sovereign and gracious God. He is truly the source of our help and the foundation of our love. I thank you, and I thank God for people like you.
God bless you and Happy New Year rose.gif


Thank you uno! My husband is a pastor in his country. He really has put god in the forefront of my life. I have never felt so much joy with such simplicity. My goal is to share this with all.

Shalom
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-01 20:11:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE
All Things Are Possible

Today's Scripture

“Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26 NIV).

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria & Missy

Are you facing something today that seems impossible? With man it may be, but with God, ALL things are possible! If you seem to be in an impossible situation, get with God! Sometimes it’s so easy to focus on our problems and try to solve them in our own strength. But remember, the battle belongs to the Lord. He has a plan for your victory. He has a plan to give you a way out. He is making the things that seem impossible, possible. You can trust Him today. The Bible says that He has plans for your good, not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Start believing and confessing today, “I am with God, and with God all things are possible!” Are your bills piling up? With God, all things are possible. Do your relationships need healing? With God, all things are possible. Is there sickness in you body? With God, all things are possible! As you meditate on God’s power, He will work in your life, and you will step forward into that place of victory He has in store for you.

A Prayer for Today

Heavenly Father, thank You for making a way where there seems to be no way. I choose to trust You, and I believe that all things are possible! Show me Your power today. Work through me to encourage those around me to trust You more. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-01 11:21:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanAFrican Clothing
I took some pictures from this website to send to my husband. Too pricy for me to order, I am hoping he can have it made cheaper. Thanks blah02 for sharing.

QUOTE (blah0323 @ Jan 11 2008, 10:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
A site I order from and love is



Dupsies


QUOTE (Omoba @ Jan 11 2008, 09:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Nice dress Tara.

You can see two of my dresses under ' my photos' on the left.



I viewed your dresses in the phote gallery. I love the one with green it it. You look killa in it. *wink
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-12 07:38:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanAFrican Clothing
WOW! Beautiful. When my husband arrives I will have a ceremony here for my family. Are you? If you do, you should where that dress.


QUOTE (ara @ Jan 11 2008, 03:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Like Sylvia-n-Joseph said lets all post our favorite outfit. I love the clothes good.gif
I only got one tailor made outfit when I was in Lagos and my husband has one just like it I got it after we were married, I wish I had it when I got married I would have loved to have gotten married in it !

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-11 15:40:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanAFrican Clothing
I wish I had a chance. Everyday it was tomorrow. They wouldn’t let me buy gifts in the hotel because the price was too high, but we never made it to the market to get any.

Yes, my son said he wanted one for us all to wear to church. Yes we will stand out in our small congregational church, but I will enjoy it.




QUOTE (Sylvia_n_Joseph @ Jan 11 2008, 07:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have 3 outfits from my trip 2 dresses and 1 pants set. Then I have a few other things. Right now we are planning a nice matching set. The seamstress still has my measurements. Did you go to the markets while you were there. I did and the fabrics are amazing. We should all post our favorite outfit. I can't until I get home from my tournement the photo is on my desktop at home.

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-11 09:39:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanAFrican Clothing
I love the western mix too. I want a few so i can wear them to work. They look so comfortable. Angel 71 i think the number after her name has a picture of her and her husband with this beautiful pastel green matching set. I sent that picture to my husband and told him I want some material like that.

QUOTE (Omoba @ Jan 10 2008, 11:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Cool sites , I like the prices of the less expensive site and don't mind the Western mix in the clothing.

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-11 05:03:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanAFrican Clothing
Yes my husband did too, but I did not like the material he chose. But I graciously accepted them for him. The bust line was too tight so he took me to the seamstress to measure and fix. My son loved his outfit. I was so proud of him. At his ageI thought he might not want to wear his. He asked to wear it on 4 seperate occasions. I asked if he wanted another one he said yes.

QUOTE (stevi1123 @ Jan 10 2008, 04:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thank you for providing the web sites. Both were very nice. Whether a person chooses to purchase, make, or have clothing made for them is a matter of choice, of course. My fiance had many outfits made for me during my visit to Naija. I could not believe the speed at which the tailor lady made them, and they were quite detailed and complicated designs. I have also bookmarked the web sites you provided.

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-11 05:01:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanAFrican Clothing
I was looking for pictures to send my husband for clothing to be made for my family. I came across this website with some amazing outfits and prices. helpsmilie.gif

http://store.african....com/index.html

Let me know if anyone has ordered from them. They utilize the Yahoo payment service.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-10 15:48:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanDV
That is wonderful news. It will assist your wife with the adjustment. Congratulations to you and your new family!

QUOTE (Mr. Big Dog @ Jan 17 2008, 08:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Nani's auntie, her husband and their two kids (15 and 11) have been granted diversity visas yesterday. They'll move early summer and it looks as if they'll try to settle around here. This is great as we'll have some family around. biggrin.gif

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-18 06:34:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanShould I do my dance?
Each step gets more exciting. Any progress is a new celebration. WE are getting ready to supply my affidavit of support, and DS20 which will finish the NVC process. Then on to our long wait for the embassy. WE are CR1 vise.

Celebrate to the fullest!

QUOTE (unononehigher @ Jan 17 2008, 06:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Okay, I am waiting to exhale blink.gif .
I just received my NOA1 good.gif .
I don't know what to expect (okay, the NOA2?...maybe) wacko.gif .
But then what? huh.gif
What comes after the NOA2 tongue.gif , what money and (how much) do I have to give my government this time sad.gif ,
who do I send it to ohmy.gif ?
Whats the next step wacko.gif , is my husband coming home sooon yes.gif , OMG ohmy.gif , OMG ohmy.gif , OMG ohmy.gif !!!
Okay, I'm calm no0pb.gif , but I'm still waiting to exhale huh.gif .
Somebody help me helpsmilie.gif ,
I'm turning bluuuue biggrin.gif !
Aaarrrggghhhhhh crying.gif

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-18 06:39:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLoving the African male
I posted two reviews of a book people are discussing. One was a positive review and one was a negative. I am not off topic in this forum. It is a review of the book. I have not touched this forum until I came across book review. The book in subject.

I read in a post to me from one of the book club member "did you read any reviews". I found a couple and posted them. This can also help in the discussion of the book where one might agree or disagree with the book.

Why does everyone take stuff personal or assign meaning to someones purpose for posting.

So the book club is being closed , because I posted two reviews of the book? I guess I am asking this because of Uno's post.

I do not want to assign meaning or make assumptions. WOW, I can see how scary it can get posting in the African sub Sahara forum.

So now I am a sinner, because I posted two book reviews. What do you think my purpose was to posting the good review and the bad review? I do not want to get off topic, but I feel this assignment of meaning takes the forum off topic.

I give up, because I am tired of people picking apart a piece of my post. I am tired of defending my post or myself. People respond condescendingly not inquisitively.

For examply/// Missy I can see why you can make that assertion regarding the authors website, but I have to disagree with you on your points. What is your meaning behind the authors choice of clothing that makes you chose to not read the book?

Well maybe I was being a little hasty with assumptions when I visited his website, but i guess I was expecting something different so I was shocked at what I discovered. I should not had made an assumption. I think that is where i made my mistake. Sorry if it confused people.

No my post was picked apart and ridiculed, which lead me to defend myself in a way I was not proud of, because I stooped to the level of people attacking me.
I am not where I need to be, but I thank god I am not where I used to be.

QUOTE (unononehigher @ Jan 19 2008, 11:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Salutations to you all.
every one here, or most every one claims "christianity" or higher power guidance. we all know what "sin" is, it is knowledge of right and still doing wrong. I am truly not trying to jugde or condemn. if you all take the time to read the verse I have posted below, maybe you all can correct your errors.

Every thing is to be done with a "servants heart"

Romans 14:20-22 (New International Version)

20Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.

22So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves.

p.s. yes, I double posted my reply.

Edited by MrsJibowu, 19 January 2008 - 12:30 PM.

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-19 12:27:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLoving the African male
<H2 class=date-header>Second Review of the book. All things I heard from people that were attacked for voicing their opinion by just analytical thinking.


Tuesday, August 28, 2007</H2><H3 class="post-title entry-title"><A href="http://feministreview.blogspot.com/2007/08/loving-african-male-what-every-woman.html">Loving the African Male: What Every Woman Must Know </H3>

By Pete “Oil King” Agbo
Coal City Entertainment

Pete “Oil King” Agbo’s guide on how American women can learn to love African immigrant men uses a conversational style to reminisce on his upbringing in Nigeria, his culture shock upon arriving in America, and the hardships, arguments and misunderstandings he has experienced and witnessed through his 25 years in the United States. While he intersperses these anecdotes throughout the book, the advice and cultural tips he offers are organized into sections: from dating advice and what to expect during sex to meeting the parents and raising children; complete with some recipes and an epilogue directed to other African men in America.

While this book clearly originates from a place of good will, its many shortcomings prevent me from recommending it for anything more than a superficial account of one man’s story migrating to and finding success in America.

First, the writing is generally weak and needs thorough editing. It contains many typos and formatting errors, and repeats similar statements—sometimes verbatim—multiple times throughout. The lack in stylistic tightness accounts for a lack in depth and exploration of the need to “love the African male.”

More sinister than the writing style of the book is the attitude behind it and the effects such a book might have. I have serious doubts that one middle-class Nigerian man’s personal anecdotes can speak to the multi-faceted racial, ethnic and cultural makeup of men throughout all of Africa, from Ethiopia to Morocco. Drawing from his memories of the '60s and '70s, he paints the gender dynamic in Africa as stark and disempowering. Many of his “tips” only explain why African men might act domineering, distant or even violent, and then quickly ask for women to be “patient.”

The most disturbing aspect of this book is that it is exactly what the American public wants to hear—that Africans are backwards and need our benevolent patience to become enlightened around gender. Considering the rich writing on masculinity, race and transnational cultures, this book is misguided and out of place. It undermines both immigrant communities in the United States and the home-grown feminist movements of Africa. The: don’t sniff food (it’s rude) and do not give people things with the left (or “unclean”) hand.

Perhaps Agbo might have done better writing a straightforward memoir or even a “how to” book for African men wanting to date American women. While the topic of intercultural dating, and specifically African/American dating certainly needs more exploration I am afraid engaged feminist readers will have to look elsewhere.

Review by k. terumi shorb
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-19 09:54:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLoving the African male
Review of the book discovered for those who do not have the book. Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know

Link to article : http://blackstarnews...m/?c=123&a=2845



Hey ladies, still haven’t found Mr. Right? Maybe Pete “Oil King” Agbo has the answer for you in his new book, Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know.


No doubt most of us have been curious about what it would be like to have a hot, chiseled hunk of Mandingo chocolate in our lives. Well sisters, Mr. Agbo has uncovered the secrets to landing and keeping that Black stallion you dream about in his new book, Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know. Cliché as it may sound ladies, be careful what you ask for because if you think you and your new boo are about to ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after just like a fantasy novel, think again.


According to Mr. Agbo, you've got a lot to learn about Loving the African Male, and believe me – the way Agbo tells it, it’s no American dream.



Nigerian born Pete “Oil King” Agbo, who came to the U.S. in 1982, feels that African American women need to be educated on how to accommodate African men.


In Agbo’s book, Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know, he depicts African men as coming from a culture where women had better be seen and not heard, are good for nothing but to cook food, clean house, make babies and be full-time servant – a duty that frequently includes being a warm host for the African man to satisfy his sexual appetite any time he pleases with absolutely no knowledge or concern for the woman’s need for mutual satisfaction.


"African men are quite unused to American women’s outspokenness. In my native country of Nigeria, women were seen and not heard. American women do not understand why an African male tends to be dismissive of a woman’s opinion. Many American women come from a comfortable world that they take for granted. This book helps broaden their perspectives on how cultural differences translate to behavior they may not understand,” Agbo explains.


Subsequently, one might ask why any woman in her right mind would have the desire to relinquish what Agbo calls a ‘comfortable world’ to be in a relationship with such a barbaric person as he describes.



Agbo’s Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know has the potential to quench a lot of curiosity regarding many African customs. From language barriers to dining etiquette, Agbo addresses the issues from real-life situations he has witnessed and/or experienced through dating African American women here in the United States. For example, once you get deeply involved with your African man, and you possibly decide to move in together, try asking your licorice love to take out the trash one day and you may, in his language, be asking for a painful lump on the head. In his book, Mr. Agbo teaches how to alleviate such possible misunderstandings during the dating process and throughout the African man/African American woman relationship.


According to Mr. Agbo, “The African male is not at all prepared for dating a woman who knows her mind and is not afraid to speak it.” Mr. Agbo says the African male doesn’t believe in wining and dining women or giving romantic gifts. So ladies, you can forget about those Valentine’s day Godivas or the long stemmed roses. And the dinner? You can forget that too, because on the rare occasion the two of you may go out to a restaurant to eat, you'd better be ready to pay the check because your boo doesn’t believe in "wasting" money on taking you out to nice places when he could use that money to buy himself a new pair of shoes and send the rest home to support his entire village.


And if somehow you do decide you’d like to become friends with this guy and see if a spark develops later on, you’d better be ready to put out on the first date or you’ll probably be seeing the last of him. You see, according to Agbo, if an African man comes to your house and you don’t put out, more than likely, he won’t waste his time coming back to see you again -- especially if it means shelling out gas money.


Full of facts and hopefully lots of fiction about what really goes on in some African communities, Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know is a must read to believe. See what Mr. Agbo has to say about hugging and kissing in African culture. What is your African love possibly hiding that can seriously concern you and how do you find out if he's hiding something and if so, what? What happens when your African man’s mother comes to visit (Whoo girls! this one's priceless.)? What can you expect from him between the sheets? What is your “place” when his friends come over? How will he discipline your children – even if they’re not his?


“American women do not have a 'context' (?) for understanding the upbringing of the African male and how it impacts the relationship,” says Agbo.


After two marriages and several failed relationships, Agbo says he has finally found true love with an African American woman. “I think that two people from different cultures have much to learn from each other,” he says. “This book will help couples discover the richness each of them brings to the relationship.”


What seems to have been omitted is what could the “African male” or any man possibly bring to the releationship that's so hot it would drive a woman to give up her liberty and self respect.


Okay, let’s talk about the real deal now -- what I know for fact -- which, thank God, is quite contrary to what's in Mr. Agbo's book:



Ugandan born Milton Allimadi, Publisher of The Black Star and author of The Hearts of Darkness: How White Writers Created the Racist Image of Africa, is my good friend, mentor, and the best boss I've ever had in my entire life (and no, I'm not sucking up for a raise, thank you). Milton is one of the most charming and gracious men I’ve ever known in my entire life -- a true gentleman from whom many men from all walks of life can learn a lot. Milton and I work very closely together and while we’re not lovers, we do work closely enough that if he had the types of characteristics listed above, I would have noticed and our working relationship and friendship would not have lasted one day. Quite contrary to Mr. Agbo's description of African men, Milton is THE kindest, most caring and sensitive man I have ever known – not just with women, but with everyone. Milton has an international reputation by both men and women as a gentleman, a scholar, and a wonderful person. When I come to the office, the first thing Milton and I do is give each other a big warm hug and a kiss. He embraces me, my daughter, even the lady in the office down the hall like close family. Milton is a king of men. He walks the walk, he talks the talk and he flosses GQ style. Yes, we have our little spats, but we work them out like two professionals and we keep it moving and making it happen for The Black Star News. Milton has so much appreciation for women. So much that he even makes it his business to profile exceptional African American women each week in The Black Star. Make no mistake, though. Just because Milton is nice, doesn't mean he's a pushover. Allimadi is a strong leader who is not to be reckoned with. Milton is a hero in our fight for human rights. He has travelled nationally and abroad fighting cases of human injustice and atrocities. Ugandan born Milton Allimadi is a warm and wonderful man who represents Africans and African Americans with regal prowess.



Aziz Gueye Adetimirin, CEO of The Network Journal is another man of great distinction, also an African male. Aziz honors scores of women in business at The Network Journal's annual gala. His Editor-In-Chief is a woman – Ms. Rosalind McLymont. I’ve known Aziz for a couple of years and his charisma and charm is kingly, as is that of my friend, Sidique Wai, President and CEO of the United African Congress, who I've known for over a decade.


I have attended African celebrations where dozens of African people come together and never have I witnessed any of these types of behaviors that I’ve seen in this book, Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know. Moreover, I personally, have never noticed a bad odor from an African person’s body.


Still, I have to grant that I doubt Mr. Agbo is making this stuff up and I definitely recommend Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know, even if you’re not necessarily seeking to date an African man, because the book is very enlightening about customs among certain African communities and it can help people understand a lot about some African customs, enabling us to try to be as accommodating as comfortably possible for the sake of Friendship (Oops! Dare I say the "F" word?).


The world is a plethora of diversity and there is beauty in all people. We must try to embrace each other and learn to live together. We all have something wonderful to offer in a barrage of cultures and customs.


Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know. The book is definitely going to tick a lot of people off -- African American women and African men, alike. Oh yes! I'm letting you know right now -- Agbo says some things in that book about his countrymen you will not believe. The way I see it, he might not be talking what we want to hear, but you've got to give it up for Pete the “Oil King” -- at least he's saying SOMETHING. Communication is a great way to start.


Pete “Oil King” Agbo was born and raised in Nigeria and came to the U.S. in 1982. Now CEO of Coal City Entertainment, Pete joined the United States Navy in 1986 and served in the first Persian Gulf War. After his Honorable Discharge, he worked full time while attending California State University in Long Beach. He graduated with a degree in film and television production. Pete now lives with his fiancée and adorable young son in Los Angeles, California.


To get your copy of Pete "Oil King" Agbo's Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know, logon to www.lovingtheafricanmale.com .


We would like to know your opinion after reading Pete "Oil King" Agbo's book, Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know. Please send your questions and comments to brenda@blackstarnews.com .


Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know by Pete “Oil King” Agbo;
ISBN: 0-9788068-0-8; $19.95; soft cover; 5½ x 8½; 200 pages; COAL CITY ENTERTAINMENT PUBLISHING


Brenda Jeanne Wyche, Advocate for Solutions and Results is Managing Editor for The Black Star News and Harlem Business News, CEO of Winning Strategies & Associates and VP of PR for The Professionals. If you have a solution, contact Brenda@blackstarnews.com . Maybe we’ll talk.

Edited by MrsJibowu, 19 January 2008 - 09:07 AM.

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-19 09:05:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLoving the African male
QUOTE (HakeemConstance @ Jan 9 2008, 04:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Throughout the 90's I was an avid opposer of the diamond trade due to the inhumane treatment of the African people. However, if you were to do your research you would find that the Clean Diamond Trade Act, established in 2003, was created as a means to stop this inhumane treatment of the African people as well as the profiting of Gorilla warfare in this already war-torn country. The act is a United States law designed to stop the trade of diamonds that fund violent civil conflicts in many African countries. The law showed the U.S. participation in the Kimberley Process Certification Scheme for trade in rough diamonds.

Also, since you are unaware of where this man purchased his diamonds, I would suggest that you keep your opinions to yourself. Currently, the Ekati Diamond Mine in Canada is one of the largest producing diamond mines in the world. It is capable of providing 1 diamond per US citizen per day for over the next 25 years.

I myself have researched this mine and option extensively since diamonds are a girls best friend and I want one. However, as previously stated, I do NOT and will NOT support the blood diamond trade. This man, obviously educated, has probably done his research prior to his purchase and like me, got his diamonds from a very well publicly certified diamond dealer. One BTW that I would greatly assume DOES NOT support the blood trade in Africa.

Not only are your comments ignorant and unfounded, however they are also defaming towards this man and his character. As an African man, do you NOT think that he researched this. Do you think he would add to the conflict and unresolve of his own country by blatantly displaying diamonds from a war-torn country. A war-torn country that he witnessed falling before him as all other Africans have. For hundreds of years the African people and nation have been in unrest. I see with ignorance like yours why it has been fostered. Only someone like you would be so small minded as to think you can only get milk from a cow. There are obviously numerous resources to get milk, same with diamonds. It is only smalled minded people who do not know that diamonds can be found all over the world and not only in Africa.

Maybe if you would expand your horizons and actually read a book instead of just judging it by its cover, you would learn that just as everything in this world, you have more than one option when trying to purchase a diamond.


Darling there are more diamonds then the industries know what to do with. Diamonds are still mined by children that have been kidnapped and slaved to work. If they have been thought to have stolen their fingers are chopped off. But they are still expected to dig with the other hand
Just like oil in their country their community does not reap the benefits of such rich resources.

Diamonds are sold all over the world including India, but for some reason Africa still enslaves children to mind for them and still get their diamonds out of the country that get mixed in with the legal diamonds.

The industry creates the need for diamond which rises up the demand. Diamonds are not expensive because they hard to find and people are payed fairly for them. Please

I did not say this man was anything. I said what his website portrayed to me. I did not say he was ignorant or arrogant. I said he looked it. My interpretation. His demeanor.

I never thought I could be so controversial.

Name calling does not become you!

Hhmmmm , I wonder why people are always agruing in these forums. I have conversations and give my point of view. I am not arguing with anyone.

I was just defending my post that was picked apart. I still have not attacked one person.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-09 18:09:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanLoving the African male
http://www.shop.com/...33;.shtml?trk=1

$15.03


QUOTE (tony and tess @ Jan 9 2008, 01:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (JJWashington @ Jan 9 2008, 12:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes excellent idea. I tried to order at Amazon and it was out of stock. I ordered from C and B Books. It allowed me to use paypal so I did not have to use a credit card with an unknown site.

http://www.cbbooksdi.../suggfeb07.html



Awesome! I just ordered. Thanks!!!

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-09 13:53:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanCongratulations!
Thanks for spreading the joy! God has blessed us with another VJ Baby! Congratulations!!!

QUOTE (Boaz @ Jan 15 2008, 08:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am proud to announce that 'NajiPrincess' recently gave birth to a baby girl. She weighed in at 7lbs. 15 oz., 19" long.

Congratulations !!!!!!!!!!!!!! kicking.gif kicking.gif kicking.gif kicking.gif kicking.gif

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-15 20:54:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHow soon Can one call NVC after NO2?
Has anyone tried this with the CR1? I know if they sent the packet out already then you have to wait to get the packet. So it is beneficial to get to the consulate before the send out the packet.

Your SO will get there, will be seen, and get the earliest interview date possible.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-18 18:06:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanReceiving money from Nigeria
QUOTE (stevi1123 @ Dec 18 2007, 09:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It takes about 2 weeks for the transfer, however, and of course there is a small fee that my bank takes for the transaction, but it is a nice safe means of sending money.


My bank takes $20, plus his bank takes $25 or should I say 300 Nira. I did not find that small. I told him to stop send me money and packages anymore, since I have enough to manage.

He spends $100 sending stuff that doesn't even cost as much. I just think that is crazy. He calls me prudent. I appreciate his sentiments and understand his commitment to support his new family, but we would benefit more if he waits till he is in America.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-18 10:45:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanGoodbye
t_m_kuti is right about something. My post directed at idocare should not be confused with Heather's situation as I stated in my post. Therefore, I will start a new thread this weekend. I was given permission to share one of the story's I have received. I will also welcome anyone else that would like me to post their story anonymously. Please identify the red flags, which are most important for anyone with doubt.



God has granted me with experiences that have made me stronger and wiser. We are to use are experiences to make others stronger and wiser. We are to share the good and the bad. I welcome stories from all countries too.



I will continue to use scripture in my post, because that is how I cope in life. If I have something I need help with, I look it up in the bible and pray on that passage. I respect all people’s religion; any religion that puts the love of a higher power to help people. Please skip over anything that you might find offensive.



Thank you for your notes of encouragement. They, in addition to God are what keep me strong in time of adversity. Without God I can do nothing!



Every morning I listen to Joyce Meyers on my iPod. This week’s podcast was 7 ways to waste your time. God always sends us signs when we need them. Just do not be too busy to listen to them.



GOD Bless you all!
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-05 08:09:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanGoodbye
QUOTE (t_m_kuti @ Dec 4 2007, 03:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm definately not attacking anyone's religion. Just realize that everyone is not a Christian, especially if you are married to a "Nigerian".
I just don't understand the male bashing, it's of low character to me.
My suggestion to all "newbies" is this, take the time to actually get to know the person you are dating. It's not possible to do that unless you take the time to understand his CULTURE.
Why not research his tribe, not just how much money he is making.
Saying Nigerian as a generalization is not acceptable. You know less than 1% of the population. Nigerians are not just Lagos and the immediate surrounding cities. Get a map of Nigeria and take a look at all the Scammers you are portraying here.
Do you realize that alot of men have to go "find" family members to stand in for their real parents in order to marry an American.That's because there are tales of American women who demoralize their spouses,treat them like property, and not allow the man to flourish as a person. Boss them around and them threaten to send them back home when they arent complying. Alot of men risk getting disowned from their families, it'sd all too sad.
Beleive me, it's not an opinion.
If you want to talk about the downfalls of Nigerians, talk about the counterparts as well. How can it be ALL his fault? Is that even possible? It takes 2 to tangle. I can give you more than 5 instances where the USC is a hot mess, and then blame the non-USC. Believe it.

Reading (some) of your posts would suggest that Nigerians are always at fault, that's not so.
I have a loving family both here and in Nigeria. Wonderful friends, I feel like I should defend them because I know better.
Nigeria is full of smart, resourceful people. Why aren't any of them mentioned here? That's because they aren't online trying to find women. And from what I'm reading there are alot of women to be found.
Who goes to meet someone and be unsure of who they are? It's just as bad here, people meet online, the woman/man gets murdered...come on, take precautions.

If you meet someone online, or on a dating site, take the same precautions as you would as if you were meeting someone here.
Unless you know the family personally tread with caution. That's everywhere.

Saying "Nigerian" is so stereotypical. It reminds me so much of how alot of white america percieved blacks, and in some places still do percieve blacks. Just throwing everyone into one boat. I am not my brother and he is not me, even if we came from the same mother.
If you married a bad apple say HE is a bad apple. Not the whole bushel.
So, I've vented. My name is Tamiika by the way.

I still do not believe you had read any of my post thoroughly Tamiika. Your communications appear to have an agenda. I have nothing to vent here. I am here to help and offer my experiences. I Never once stated you were attacking anyones religion. You seem to be very defensive in your postings.

First off I never generalized or attacked any race in my posting. I spoke of my experience with a Nigerian man and an American man. Secondly I also stated in a message that it was not only men that scam for the American dream.

I did not meet my husband online. Although, online relationships can be very rewarding too if done with caution. I met him through a 10 year long friendship with a Nigerian friend who conducts business in Nigeria and America. As I mentioned in my post this Nigerian friend warned me about Nigerian men, because at the time I was chatting with a friend from Nigeria. This is an experience of mine, not a generalization or an assumption.

I did not chose my husband because of his money or lack there of funds. Before you address people in these postings please read there post carefully. Maybe apply some thought behind your words, because the items you are addressing to me are not because of something I have said in my postings. You are taking my communication and applying your own meaning, which is generalizing.

Nigerians are always at fault for what? I spoke of my experience with specific Nigerian men. I never once addressed the Nigerian as a complete race.

I do know my husbands tribe and family history. My brother in law lives here in the state with his Nigerian wife and two children. He is a wonderful god fearing husband and father. I talk with them about once a week and communicate via email daily.

You just made lots of assumptions in your post. I met the most wonderful Nigerian friends with I was visiting Nigeria. The children in that country are respectful of their parents and value their education.

I pray that when my husband arrives in America to reunite our family, I will have wonderful experiences to share. I will not have time to attack people and draw assumptions, because I will be busy taking care of my husband. But please rest assure, if I have an experience that someone can learn from, I will readily share.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-04 18:40:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanGoodbye
QUOTE (t_m_kuti @ Dec 3 2007, 09:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
There had to have been more than one failed relationship in your lives. I don't understand what the bible has to do with all of this turmoil, if you had trusted God in the first place, you definately wouldn't be writing this. Don't be religious. Meaning, don't just speak it, live it. It's easy to quote, Muslims and other sects can quote the Bible.


I am sorry you did not find my chosen passages helpful. I spent time thinking and looking up scripture that I thought might help women who needed assistance. I am please to announce that I received two private messages from women with an immense amount of gratitude for my post. They were too ashamed to post their personal stories, because they are still going through the pain and suffering of their experience. I was glad I took the time to share in this post.



My posts were to support women who felt attacked my naysayers too. I want them to walk in faith.

If you took the time to read my posts thoroughly, you would realize that I did have failed relationships with men as stated in my message. That is why am here to post my experiences and provide my advice without attacking anyone’s beliefs, values, or race. My experiences were blessings from God. If I do not share them, I will not be doing god's work.

QUOTE
If you have found one, then 9 times out of 10, you would have found the same kind of man from any nation or creed. Women tend to find the same man in a different package without realizing it.



If you read the posts thoroughly, you would have realized I said that already.



Thank you for taking the time to assist us “newbie’s” with your experiences and joy from your experiences. Your story will affirm those to continue on with their journey they started. We all need to share the good, the bad, and the ugly, without attacking people’s religion, race, or creed.



Amen
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-04 08:49:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanGoodbye
YEAH kicking.gif Mercy,

Remember that you do not have to tell the person your forgive them. It has to start in your heart. I have forgiven my son's father and have accepted who he is. He does not know that, because he will take advantage of this fact. You need to find closure with in you, knowing that you might never get it from them.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-03 07:32:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanGoodbye
OH, OK! I do not have much resentment. I feel sorry for people who have to live there life that way. People think that they do not feel the pain, but they do. The do not know who there true self is and can never rest with allthe lies around them. Can never relax and just be. That is what I love about where I am in my life. I can walk into a room and just be me.

Yes there are people in every creed, race, and space who are great and who are bad. And I hate to say it, but people are who they are whether you meet them on line or at the grocery store. So if you met someone online that would be the same type of person you would attract here in the US. We are a mirror of the company we keep. Doesn't mean that when i was dating mentally or emotionally abusive men i behaved that way. I just didn't value myself enough to let someone I deserve into my life.

You two look amazing together by the way. He has a sincere mature look about him.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-02 16:59:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanGoodbye
I do not think my husband paid for me to prove he loved me. He did it because he could. I was a single parent at the time. Spending money to go visit him when I have a child at home was never an option for me. He knew it when He met me. When he is in America my money will be his money. He is going to college once he is here. So I will be the primary source of income then. It will be a joy to put my husband through college. I am sure he will work part time for little extras, since we are planning our first child right away. I am not getting any younger. He want two more, but i want one so we can adopt some foster child who need homes.
Time will tell, since I do love doing the mommy thing. We will see how good he is at the daddy thing. *wink
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-01 20:14:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanGoodbye
QUOTE (Omoba @ Dec 1 2007, 02:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Mrs Libowu, I am all for Idocare posting HER story here and give people a cautious perspective for those who blindly follow their hearts without
thinking.
The problem I have is with the generalization of her " they will..." in regards to Nigerians.
Maybe an " my experience ...." or a " my ex did ....." would be wiser than stereotypes and generalization.
. smile.gif


Yes agree about removing the geralization. Now with that is said, let not generalize that it just men on VJ that are scamming for the american dream. enough said.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-01 17:12:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanGoodbye
iwould pay my husbands way here if he needed the assistance and I did not have a son to put through college in 10 years. I would pay for a friend to go through the visa process if they needed help. I have a son first to consider when i was getting to know my son. every choice i make in my life effects him. i am just posting in concern for those who have expressed distress regarding financial hardship and disappointment.


The deceit is what is so disappointing. i went through lots of emotional abuse with my son's father with manipulation and confusion. I have read a few post where the women were unsure. And i just want them to be confident in their decision, which is hard when you have someone messing with your mind.

i just am giving support to those who are sharing their story of disappointment, because that is a large pill to swallow without the pain reliever. giving them kudos and some things to look out for.

I think I have given feed back regarding several different threads that I have read in the past few days. I just chose this one to write in because it was the third one where i seen people complaining about idocare's posts. i do think she should share her experiences without making assumption about other peoples experience. her experience should not effect another person's experience unless they had doupt already.

Thank you for everyone who has taken the time to post. Your time, thoughts, oppionions and experience are welcomed appreciated and valued for the wonderful people that you are. we are all here to support each other, which is what makes this place so wonderful.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-01 13:45:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanGoodbye
A man is not a victim of his circumstance! A man circumstances reveal him!
Dr. Wayne Dyer

1. That is so true about the cyber café
2. There are working people in Nigeria. They are working and taking care of there family.
3. If your man dressed real nice when you visited, but claims poverty. That should be a sign right there that his priorities are mixed up.
4. if he sent you any gifts at the inception of you meeting, and is claiming that he is broke there is something wrong with that picture. Do you know how expensive it is to send a package to the us from Africa? Probably shipped so he could have a receipt to prove the inception of the relationship.

i am not here to make you doubt. like i said before, if you believe in you, god, and him you are all set. Do not let the naysayers bring you down. But if you are down and i got you wondering, then i hope i have helped someone.

there are some amazing wonderful people in this site. you have to be to make a commitment of such magnitude and expense. But please remember us kind and trusting people can become victimized.

if you are in doubt question him. do not be afraid to hurt his feelings. an understanding man would understand how a situation might make you doubt his intentions. if he gets mad at you, girl run, put your wallet away and lock your doors. even if he thinks he loves you, he doesn't know how to now, nor will he when he gets to the US.

I have imence respect for these ladies for sharing their personal stories. WOW i applaud your courage.


Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-01 11:33:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanGoodbye
heather,
your husband is trying to manipulate and control you, because he can. he has to manipulate and control you so youdo not find out who he realy is. people who try to change our thoughts loose our conections(visa journey, family, andfriens) are afraid you will discover the real him. do not think his actions are jelousy out of love, he is trying to control you into submission. it worked becasue youwere going to close down your account. many times women or men confuse the inlaws fighting as just that they are fighting over my love thing. wrong, one side knowsthe truthe about the person and the other side is preventing them from telling you by creating drama in your life. who can see all the truth through allthe fighting in drama. distracts from what is really going on inside our minds and hearts. prevents us from seeing the situation clearily. makes us forget what the real problem is because the drama got so out of hand.
now american men do the same darn thing. this is not a nigerian thing this is a i am not worthy, please do not find me out thing. Why is your husband not worthy? could be the GC thing, could be he is not secure with who he is.


what do you stand for inlife? does he stand for the same things?

QUOTE (Heather & Justice @ Nov 25 2007, 10:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well, I have to say goodbye to everyone, I will be closing my account after this to there is no need for a response from anyone, I just wanted to give an explanation to my disapearance. Everytime I post on VJ my husband will later snoop and read what I posted, he will find a way to twist my posts and use them against me. The latest one being my post on the "M word" topic. He now says that I am still in love with my ex and my life is now hell again. I am sure that he will read this too. What does it matter anymore, he will make his own asumptions about what he reads and come to his own conclusions and to him it will be gospel.

I want to thank everyone who has helped me along the way, and supported me when I needed it. Good Luck to those who are on your journey.


Good Bye...

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-01 06:45:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanGoodbye
Idocaree, i would like to see you continue to post your store. I know 2 Nigerian men that are married here in Maine under false pretenses. I have met a couple Nigerian men on line that tried to dupe me, but were busted. one even sent me flowers one timeand a teddy bear, probably with a stolen credit card number. I have a memory like an elephant. He was busted on an age question. Then there was my sons father AMERICAN who pulled the same stuff. Those where the type of people I invited into my life back then. They hunted me down and said the right stuff. How can so much intelligence be wasted on hurting people instead of helping people. That was my emotional well being at the time. if i didn't grow and find god, i would ave continued to attract the same men into my life.

If Idocare's story can save 1 women from heart ache and hassle a year, god bless you. You are here still posting for a reason. You experienced what you did to help others. Please keep posting. Type your whole story. Look back for all the clues and different ways he requested money. Then cut and past that story every time there is a new person that joins with a husband from a 3rd world country. I have already heard a few mentions of sending money to them for sick family member and because he has it so hard, while women pay for the process to get them here. He made it there without you before, they are resourceful people he will make till he makes it to America. Think of all the money he spent in those Internet café's trying to meet you on line. The cafe's are not cheap by any means.

If you are confident in who you are, in what you are doing, and you walk through life by the grace of god anything idocare is saying should not bother you.

<Isa 54:4 Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more.>

God is telling the single woman and us not to be ashamed about what we are believing, about Elijah really coming for us. God is saying don't let the naysayers try to put you to shame for your faith in this truth; one which many have never even heard of - the fact that God is sending Elijah as a single man to join with a single woman on earth and be the Two Witnesses.

If are ashamed to tell people your story, you do not trust your story. If you are ashamed that you are sending him money, you do not trust why you are sending him money. if you do not trust him, you do not trust you. if you are unsure about him, you are unsure about YOU. So if this is the case stop what you are doing and get sure about yourself first.

But if you walk in faith of the Lord and Savior, you will never listen to the naysayers or have shame of your actions.

Now with that said. My mail friend who warned be about other Nigerians fixed me up with my husband. hhhmmmm should i trust this???? Well first my friend fixed us up because I had become a born again Christian and my husband was a pastor. his credentials and passport state. please trust the i check every detail out. That is why he considered fixing us up. Then I did not pay for my sons and I passports. I did not pay for our immunizations shots. I did not pay for our plain tickets. i did not pay to stay at the top of the Sheraton hotel at $500 a night. I did not pay for our wedding attire or the wedding. I did not pay a penny for the flight to Abuja or the hotel stay at the Sheraton in Abuja. I did not pay for our wedding video, professional photographer, or the native food or the American restaurant at the hotels or my launry to be cleaned before i cam home. i have not paid one fee or for the lawyer that has did all my work, which is why i still do not know the proccess. I paid for our drivers family to travel to badagry with us. I did lots of tipping the traditional American way. Boy did I love to see the smile on these people faces and the appreciation and true gratitude. i gaveto the church and the church in my picture in badagry. My husband had trouble with the tipping the American way.

Do I have doubt about our relationship. Sometimes i do, because i do not think he is fruitful enough with his time and he thinks more about making money in america then how he can help people. i said it. those are my doubt. i think that is his cultural differences, but will that be acceptable for me.

idocare, please trust that God will take care of your wronger doers. God has promised us He will deliver us when adversity strikes (Deuteronomy 31:8, Isaiah 63:9, Psalm 94:17-19, Proverbs 18:10, II Thessalonians 3:3, Hebrews 13:5-6, Jude :24-25). Problems won't be so devastating when we are close to Jesus Christ. They will actually help us grow (Romans 5:2-5). We want God's Spirit in us so we can help others rebuild their lives. We are told in Galatians 6:7-8 and Job 4:8 those who cause problems will have the same thing happen to them. You know the quote, "what goes around comes around." We truly reap what we sow. I John 3:10 points out that we aren't living in righteousness if we treat others unkindly.


he will never be happy until he does right by god and humanity. until then please trust that his time is done. he might smile for a minute, laugh for a minute, but when he goes to bed at night he has to lie with himself and only drugs and alcohol can heal thatpain

God bless us all and in our time of need.
Amen

QUOTE (idocare @ Nov 30 2007, 10:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hey Bensagin,



Girl glad to see that you are still you !!!! But now all washed up and ready to do you. Congrats ont that, I'm happy that you have moved on. In my case I have it in my mind that faith without works is dead. So far Victor Jr. father remains here. I'm working on changing that. It may happen it may not. There are some instances where you can't simply turn the other cheek.

Omoba, you can call it what you want , but I.m telling the truth , and speaking of my own experience and some of those that went thru the journey with me. NOT ALL NIGERIANS ARE BAD PEOPLE. The hospital in Nigeria where my ex-husband was a doctor the people where wonderful towards me, as was his family, as was people we met on the street, at the beach and other places we went during my short stay in Nigeria.

I can't bash all Nigerians becasuse I don't know all Nigerians, but what I do know is that Nigerians will even get over on there own if given the opportunity. My ex used to say when a Nigerian did another Nigerian wrong, what do u expect, your dealing with another Nigerian. He even mentioned how corrupt Nigerians could be in our divorce trail, it was sickening to hear him boast.

Omoba, you can't tell me where to post or what to post or what's exceptable or what's not. Maybe Heather and others needs to hear some of what I posted. When I first filed my L-129 papers and others that went thru the journey before me and even other Nigerians that r now here in America told me to be cautious, I too ignored them cause I knew my fiance loved me and loved God. But I didn't wake up until problems like Heather is describing started. but he was already here and then finally the light came on that there is nothing I can do to make this man happy. That's when you realize that u have been used.

Like Bensangin said, IF YOUR MARRIAGE IS MAKING U A WORSE PERSON AND CHANGING U FOR THE WORST , THEN U HAVE DECISIONS TO MAKE, and that's where Heather is now.


I don't wish for anyone's relationship to go bad, but I do wish for every American women and man to step up to the plate and battle for deportation of the one's that scammed them, and Omoba if u like it or not I will continue to testify and shed light on my experience.

Omoba, your like a replica of me back in 2004 and I wish you all the best. But in case your journey and others dont end as planned I hope you use that same energy and fight for your spouse's deportation instead of laying down and claiming defeat.

One stranger in a Nigerian chat room told me that I should give it up if he's here the scam is over and that he already used me, but let me tell you, I fought hard to get this man here with me and he scammed me , so now I feel I need to dig down even harder and see his deportation thru, it may take years who know, but I have been to Nigeria twice, and I do see why people want to leave especially professionals like my ex-husband who was a doctor there in Nigeria, but to use someone in the process and try to make them appear as an abrusive person is unacceptable and worth taking a stance.

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2007-12-01 06:24:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanHappy Birthday Chispas!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Chipsa!


Enjoy your new year of joy, wisdom, and love.

Mrs. Jibowu

p.s. I bet you meet the warmest people everywhere you go! wink


QUOTE (chispas @ Feb 12 2008, 03:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
heart.gif You caught me off guard girl. I thought I would be able to fly under the radar today but you got me. ph34r.gif
Thank you all my VJ family, this really means a lot to me today. Gracias, Merci
Chispas

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-02-12 16:13:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanFebruary 08 Interview @ Johannesburg Consulate
Great Picture,

When I click on your country to discover other VJ'ers that might be interviewing in Johannesburg, you were the only user that came up. I will keep my eye open for you, but you can get some great advice from the people who have gone to the Nigeria embassy.

Your interview will be successful. With every answer your love and devotion with shine through.




QUOTE (Omizo_Tusha @ Jan 11 2008, 12:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Is there anybody who has been scheduled an interview on February 08 at Johannesburg Consulate? I would like to know how you guys are preparing for that big day. I would like to attend the Interview with my fiancée. I want to know about the good and safer hotels in Johannesburg area. Please give me some advices.

Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-11 13:22:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanPeculiar Conflicts
In one section of the book he talks about an African living in London courting someone from his home town in Africa. Because he had all these nice clothing and had money in hand when he visited, she though he was rich. She was disappointed to discover his tiny apartment and credit debt living from check to check. I am sure this is a common problem as already mentioned in some forums. Expectations. Someone in Africa sees someone visit with even 5 pairs of shoes must assume that there is plenty of money to spare.
This is one peculiar conflicts. Expectations. To discoverer even when they get that job in the US making great money, but still hae to live pay check to pay check.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-02-21 05:50:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanPeculiar Conflicts
I wanted to recommend a book for you and your significant others from Africa. The book deals with conflicts that stem from African cultural beliefs and norms. The Author, Femi Awodele is a Nigerian native that moved to America with his wife through the Visa Lottery. He is a Christian Marriage councilor that favors working things our and keeping the marriage together. He really supports the women in his writing. This book is beneficial for both the USC, but significantly for the African immigrating to America.



The book is under $10. I purchased it for $6 used, but took a long time to get. Just do not order from smokeybooks. It is a quick easy read. I am going to send it to my husband next week with a box of goodies. He is excited to receive the book.



No I am not trying to start a book club! Just a recommendation for reading!
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-02-20 14:59:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanWhat would u do ?
I would morn the loss of our relationship. Then I would reflect back to what I gleamed from the experience. What was I lacking emotionally and spiritually that lead me on a path to be preyed upon. I have been down this route before. If one does not grow from this experience, they will meet the same type of person in America.

USCIS : I would follow through on what I needed to do regarding telling the truth to the USCIS, despite the fact that I know it is my word against his. I would do nothing to assist in supporting his visa or adjustment of status. Then I would relish the fact that until he did good by god, he will never be happy and fulfilled. Hopefully eventually when I am having a joy filled moment, I will have pity for him.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-03 19:41:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanImmigration Fraud ****Share Your Stories****
sorry I was at work and was just making quick & vague communication. I had read you statement in another post that you were going to do this. The post I read this in Was regarding a poster (idocare) that is commonly know in the Nigerian Portal for posting her thought on deportaion and fraud. This is the forum I was talking about was "What would u do ?, u discovered husband/wife only wanted greencard".

So people in there were complain were this topic was going when the inception of the topic was already there.

This had nothing to do with criticism. Just conversation.



I was making a suggestion to post this someplace else so the topic is not only base around people in the African Sub region. The people might not generalized and focus on the action and not the culture.
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-04 13:37:00
Africa: Sub-SaharanImmigration Fraud ****Share Your Stories****
QUOTE (We_Destiny @ Jan 4 2008, 10:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (MrsJibowu @ Jan 4 2008, 08:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Your so thoughtful Destiny! :energetic:


QUOTE (We_Destiny @ Jan 3 2008, 07:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Come in share your stories.

A place / a home / an arena for those wronged / hurt / scammed to communicate stories, scream, cry and heal themselves past the pain of lost love.



Not thoughtful tired of the fraud, scammer and deport direction most threads were going in.

Also, I'm not trying to be funny / scarcastic. I TRUELY BELIEVE having a topic designated to the subject is practical.


If I know which one you were talking about, that was the topic of the post. Not like it changed in the middle. People know her mission and should stay away from her postings if they have a problem with her topics and responses.

This post showed up in the African Sub portal Discussion, which leaves out other part of the country where visa fraud also takes place. You should post it in the off topic or adjustment after arrival in us. (something like that)
Enlighten one :)FemaleNigeria2008-01-04 10:25:00