biggish data

Another "can he visit" question, but with a twist

How long does it take to get a tourist visa?

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-06 18:31:00

Dumb Question

I've heard each USCIS employee rubs each individual application on their booty.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-08 00:59:00

Dumb Question

I've heard each USCIS employee rubs each individual application on their booty.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-08 00:59:00

Sorry I must have been imagining things when I read this:

"Sounds to me that you're using your boyfriend as an avenue to escape your life."

and my favourite:

"....if you want to be considered adult enough to marry, you really should act like one...which includes taking control over your own life. You're essentially looking at your bf as your 'way out' cos he's gonna marry you and take care of you, and his family's gonna give you a job."

which is MUCH different than your sugar coated version:

"I said it seems to me she's transferring her dependence from her family to her fiance."

Might I add that you CAN come to the US with no education and no set employment skills. I give credit to all the immigrants (legal AND illegal) who have made this country what it is today. There's a complete history of Mexican immigrants who have worked this land and raised their children who then recieved their education within the United States. This is the land of the free...not of the educated, holders of a PHD or the LisaD's. Why else would YOU want to live here? If education was a requirement it would specify that requirement on the I-129F. If age was a factor there wouldnt be a such thing as parental consent. Long before certificates became essential to impressive resumes people earned as they learned..then were promoted. This still happens today. It happened for me.

Go ahead and be prepared for the sky to fall then share your anxieties so you can save the rest of the world from doom. I on the other hand choose to look on the brighter side of things. (blow sunshine was it?) This doesnt have to be a scary process. Stop making stuff up.

get over yourself hon. Things go wrong, people change, people make judgement errors. You of all people should know that. what's this, your second petition?

And you got off lucky.

Sorry for the low blow, but it proves my point.

Oh as far as what I said up there? BANG ON ACCURATE. :yes:

here, have a rainbow :goofy:

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-08 11:03:00

OP, I didn't tell you not to get married, I told you to be careful...I advised you read up on the other forum here how int'l failed marriages have the potential to go so horribly bad (I'd reccomend that to anyone here despite age btw), and to prepare yourself to be able to stand on your own if need be. If that's unwanted advice, well no big shakes! As Jen said, it really means nothing to any of us, but it could mean everything to you.

Again, this is not a paid help desk. You want that? Get a lawyer. Or don't divulge so much personal information when you're asking questions

Good luck!

ARGH! Sometimes I wonder if you even read what you type. Serious Ms Lisa. The only mistake the OP made was listing a two digit number being her AGE. This forum sometimes NEEDS to suck the information out of a person in order to fully answer their specific question. If you read between the lines of your previous posts you DID tell her not to get married. You sat there and decided she was only trying to get in the US because she was running from her life at home. You TYPED THAT! I hardly think she divulged her entire personal life on this forum - you just picked apart what little she offered to share!! She doesnt need a lawyer - she needs you to quit humping her leg.

I said it seems to me she's transferring her dependence from her family to her fiance. And it does. And if you can sit here and tell me that I told her not to get married, well just show me where I said that.

Go read the 'Effects' forum. People who cannot work, cannot drive, cannot leave the country and come back in...and their spouses do all these crazy things that leave the non-USC at the mercy of others. It's not particularly wise to come over with no education, no set job skills, and think 'oh I'm set cos my fiance's family will employ me' That's great...but what if summat goes wrong...what can the OP do to pull herself out of it if her hands are tied from the gov't? It's all well and good to hear stories of 'hey I left home at X age and now I'm great' but at the end of the day, there's an emigration thrown into the mix which complicates everything. And these are real issues that the OP needs to worry about.

I didn't call her 'kid' like someone else...I didn't call her names or call her stupid like someone else. But I'm certainly not gonna be all 'hey it'll all be great!' loosely based on the fact that I and the women before me in my family have history of going out on my own (in my own country). This is a completely different scenario here. You wanna sit here and blow sunshine, that's great....I'm more of a 'better be prepared' person. But I have to wonder for someone like you who's already voiced a problem with the content of my posts and has said I shouldn't do this that or the other...I have to wonder why you continue to engage me in a conversation where I'm only repeating myself.

Oh and if you don't like my advice, tough :thumbs:

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-08 09:56:00

OP, I didn't tell you not to get married, I told you to be careful...I advised you read up on the other forum here how int'l failed marriages have the potential to go so horribly bad (I'd reccomend that to anyone here despite age btw), and to prepare yourself to be able to stand on your own if need be. If that's unwanted advice, well no big shakes! As Jen said, it really means nothing to any of us, but it could mean everything to you.

Again, this is not a paid help desk. You want that? Get a lawyer. Or don't divulge so much personal information when you're asking questions

Good luck!

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-07 23:49:00

I just briefly skimmed through all 5+ pages of this thread, and I've gotta say all you folks who try to give relationship advice and your opinions on what a 15-year old should be doing with her life should be ashamed of yourselves! That's obviously not why the OP came her and posted her questions. She wanted advice on how to get a visa, not lectures on what she should be doing in her personal life!

Ok, let's play this game. You then should 'be ashamed for giving us advice and giving your opinions of what a vj poster should be doing.' Not to mention you're sat here judging us for being judgemental...as well as freely admitting you're judging us based on a 'brief skim' of the posts.

But that's ok, eh?

The bottom line is, this is a community of people, not a paid immigration help desk. We're going to interject personal opinion..cos let's face it, this site is based on opinion. Other than one outburst on this thread, everyone here has been very respectful. No one's flaming the OP or anything like that....I see a bunch of people trying to enlighten someone that this may not be as easy as she may think. And I think that's pretty great.

Cos if she goes away from this and it forces her to think of how she can best protect herself during and after this process, then it was all worth it. You see it as judgement...I see it as well-meaning food for thought from people who know the process and the ramifications just that much better...and are trying to point out very important issues that the OP needs to address.
simply because they d
After awhile all your efforts to save the girl from the big bad visa process will be in vain and your longwinded comments will be just for your entertainment purpose alone. Not that I disagree with your motivation to inspire or enlighten - but you come across as brash and ready for an argument then patch it up with by saying you're not categorizing or chastising her.

She finds a moment in the madness to set the record straight with a defensive tone and you basically knock her down again by telling her not to "lash out in a strop" and "if you didnt want your personal life commented on then dont bring it up." It was a verbal knock down and listen to what I have to say masked with artificial empathy for her situation. Why then are you so ready to attack when someone like JamesT opposes the majority who took it upon themselves to lecture her? It appears you are all posting for eachother but addressing the post to Hibara.

Hey, that's your opinion to which you're entitled...but if you're going to judge me for commenting when it wasn't asked for, then I ask you to do the same to yourself with your comments to me and others here

Seems a little bit ironic that you find it's ok to share your opinion yet you begrudge others from doing the same. And as you say my comments are made in vain and done for my purposes only...I could ask you what you feel yours are meritwise when you address me in this circular argument as far as who has a 'right' to post and what the parameters for each post are. I really have no problem with you voicing your opinion...but I find it so strange that you clearly hold yourself to a different set of rules than you do for everyone else.

Oh, and I also think some you're playing a little fast and loose with terms like 'attack' because that soooooo wasn't an attack on James. Trust me.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-06 11:58:00

I just briefly skimmed through all 5+ pages of this thread, and I've gotta say all you folks who try to give relationship advice and your opinions on what a 15-year old should be doing with her life should be ashamed of yourselves! That's obviously not why the OP came her and posted her questions. She wanted advice on how to get a visa, not lectures on what she should be doing in her personal life!

Ok, let's play this game. You then should 'be ashamed for giving us advice and giving your opinions of what a vj poster should be doing.' Not to mention you're sat here judging us for being judgemental...as well as freely admitting you're judging us based on a 'brief skim' of the posts.

But that's ok, eh?

The bottom line is, this is a community of people, not a paid immigration help desk. We're going to interject personal opinion..cos let's face it, this site is based on opinion. Other than one outburst on this thread, everyone here has been very respectful. No one's flaming the OP or anything like that....I see a bunch of people trying to enlighten someone that this may not be as easy as she may think. And I think that's pretty great.

Cos if she goes away from this and it forces her to think of how she can best protect herself during and after this process, then it was all worth it. You see it as judgement...I see it as well-meaning food for thought from people who know the process and the ramifications just that much better...and are trying to point out very important issues that the OP needs to address.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-06 08:53:00

I usually try to stay far away from these charged threads, but I just have to stick my two cents in here. Unfortunatly I am afraid the person who needs to hear this probably no longer logs into VJ...but in case she is reading, here goes.
When I was 17 (not much older than she) I completely supported myself and have ever since (I'm 33 now). So arguing about what she would do...she would figure it out, like most of us do if and when we fall on our faces.
When my mother was 17 she had to leave her childhood home due to abusive situations that were not just 'teenage drama'. She and her boyfriend quit school and moved together and shortly after, married him. She is still with this man, my father, after 42 years and have 4 grown daughters, 6 grandchildren, and one brand new great-grandchild. Did they rush into things, YES. Was my mom running away from her family, YES. Was it a terrible mistake? I don't think so.
The point I'm tryng to make is who are we to guess the future? This girl needs to make her own choices. I wish I had the answers she was looking for which waas specific to the best way to come to the states to live with her fiance. I'm not saying 15 year olds always make the best decisions, but I am saying that it is her life to live. Not ours. If in her heart of hearts, she feels like she can do this, than who are we to say anything about it? She asked about visa questions. I'm not saying it is innappropriate to offer opinions, but there is a limit to when friendly advice becomes lectures and grand-standing.
To the best of my knowledge, when things are legal, there aren't any red-flags.
Good Luck to you!
I hope everything works out just fine.
Sue

Sue

I for one am not chastising this girl nor am I categorically saying that her relationship is not going to work. But take everything you just said above and add an emigration to a foreign country with possibly no instant work authorization to the mix. No money & at someone else's mercy. It's not some small insignificant factor. Immigration has crumbled the strongest of adults, the most solid of couples. There's a whole forum dedicated to it here for cryin out loud. There's 'oh my partner changed' to 'I'm practically destitute with no where to turn' to 'my cousin's fiancee won't LET her leave to go home' I think Mrs Billy Bong suggested in that thread that the police be called. Really awful situations. And they're all adults who chose these positions. So if grown adults can be 'snowed' by people, are you saying that a 15 year old can't?

I'm not tellin her to do it or not to do it...I'm tellin her 'hey think of this that and the other'...protect herself If someone stops me to asks for driving directions, and I know that the path is treacherous...I'd warn them...hey, you don't have the right tires, or whatever the case may be......would you warn them? Or would you be all 'hey it's your life, it's your own responsibility to know what ya need and make your own choices'

What next? Do we tell a 14 year old how to obtain a fiancee visa that she plans to get on her 16th birthday? 'oh look over here and best of luck on your journey!'

Personally, I'd like to think that if I had a daughter in this predicament, some older wiser people on a forum would take the time out to point out some possible areas of serious concern. And I'd thank God that they did it too

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-06 00:57:00

at what point did i openly say that i wanted anyone to give me a "go get a K1!" response?
as far as i knew, at the point i posted the topic, this was the place that had the best chance of giving me some idea of which road i should head down, be it K1 or a different type of visa. i never said i was only open to one, and if you read the entire topic, you would have noticed that i posted a short while back saying that the CR1 option looked like the best idea, but i still wasn't sure how to go about it.
i'm not using my boyfriend as an escape, i love him and his family, and have done for almost a year and a half. i admit freely i want out of here, but who exactly are you to judge me when you don't know my exact circumstances at home?
in a couple of weeks he'll be here for two weeks, and then when my passport is renewed, i'll be visiting him for as long as i can stay on a tourist visa.
so right now, this isn't immediate.

thank you to everyone who has provided me with information i can use, as opposed to namecallers and people intent on analyzing my motives.
i won't be posting here anymore.

If you didn't want any part of your personal life to be commented on, then don't bring it up. Stop lashing out in a strop cos you got some words you didn't want to hear. You should be thankful that there are well meaning people on this board who apparantly empathised enough with you to make us want to take time out to give you a few experienced words. But if you bring it up information as relevant to the conversation, then people will comment on it. It's not a judgement, it's thoughtful and well-intentioned advice. You may think you are mature enough to handle all this...and whatever, it's your life...you don't want to take the benefit of some very wise words, that's fine.

I will say it again because I feel it's important enough to....you're transferring your dependence from your family to your fiancee and his family. And when you come here, you are completely at their mercy. Ask yourself this then: can you take care of yourself should you move here and your relationship fall apart and you left with no one but yourself? THAT'S the question you need to think about. Not saying your relationship will fail...who knows....but if your answer is 'I dunno what I'd do'....then you need to start making some hardcore preparations for this endeavor of yours, cos if you think it's all a walk in the park and exotic and exciting....well, it is exciting, but it's also going to be probably the most stressful & scary things you'll ever do in your life.

And as Lauren said...if you want immigration information empty of personal opinion...try a lawyer. We're just people who are living it.

Please let go of the anger at being 'judged' long enough to realize just how important this is. Despite what you may think, I do wish you the best of luck in making the best choice possible.

Edited by LisaD, 05 March 2007 - 12:49 AM.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-05 00:47:00

i'd actually like to reiterate that i came here for visa information and options, not an analysis on my relationship and certainly not to be called names.

i'm aware that i'm young. i know that it's not considered wise to be getting married so young. but i either do this, or i stay here for another two years. and for the risk of sounding like a stupid teenager to all of you, who'll probably think i'm blowing everything out of proportion, i'm not going into why i can't stay here.

all i came here for was some information on what to do, because i didn't know where else to ask.

i looked into student visa options while i was still in school, and my parents said they wouldn't pay for it.

i don't know how much my boyfriend is paid, but i know it's a lot more than $8 an hour. =/

it's perfectly alright for some of you to blame my hormones for this, i expected it. but that does not make it true.

thank you for your time.

Sounds to me that you're using your boyfriend as an avenue to escape your life. Also sounds a little odd that your bf's family is supportive of this relationship...after all, you're 15 and he's 20. A 5 year age difference is no big deal once the age of majority is met, but thinking about say a 13 and an 18 year old...that's just leaps and bounds apart.

However, I'll give you ONE piece of sage advise that you should really consider. Stop looking towards other people to change your life for you. Do it yourself. if you're old enough to get married, you're old and mature enough to be responsible for your own life...even in Australia. So stop hanging your hat on 'oh my dad this, my mom that' cos let's face it....if you want to be considered adult enough to marry, you really should act like one...which includes taking control over your own life. You're essentially looking at your bf as your 'way out' cos he's gonna marry you and take care of you, and his family's gonna give you a job...but WHAT HAPPENS IF....everything is not what it seems? What are you going to do at 16, 17 here in America if you are completely dependent on others? How could you provide for yourself?

Read this website carefully. Read how hard some of the obstacles are...especially when the harships you have are not even added into the mix. Read this:
http://www.visajourn...p?showforum=127 and http://www.visajourn...hp?showforum=15 especially.

I'm not saying this all to sound harsh, please understand that...but I empathise with your situation and if my words could even give you food for thought, well then it was worth it.

Best of luck!

Edited by LisaD, 03 March 2007 - 01:33 PM.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-03 13:32:00

Only 4 days of meeting physically!

As for the K1 process, their only concern is that you've physically met within the past two years.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-08 19:12:00

proof of having met in person

Thanks a lot:)
that just makes me feel better cause I alreday send my part of the papers:)just the sigmed ones..what do u think about sending a DVD w the petition?do u thuink they would take it into consideration?

DVD/CD-ROM not acceptable. Nor myspace sites or youtube videos...

What do u mean by myspace sites?or youtube videos?im sorry for the question but i dont understand..
Is print screen from ur comp acceptable?

What I meant was, "They" aren't going to go to a myspace site - or watch a video of a happy couple on youtube, nor plop in a dvd/cd-rom or any other media to see pictures or videos as proof of a relationship. You'd think they would, but what can you say?

Print screens? no clue

Yeah I do know that they won't put any disc into their computers, security issue and all that.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-10 10:55:00

This thread goes with the other like peanut butter and jelly.

Lol, I agree :thumbs:

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-10 14:56:00

Hey all - this thread just got new attention because of the other one - heavy with side-stepping and fake "friends with a problem" - put up by the same OP. Don't respond to this one like it's new. In fact - NOTE THE DATE AND LET IT SINK DOWN THE PAGES AGAIN!

It's just more flame wars waiting to happen otherwise

Do you realize the irony in bumping a thread after 1 hour 46 mins to tell people to let it sink to the bottom?

sorry, couldn't help myself. :devil:

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-10 14:29:00

yep, just read and posted there. Thx

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-10 10:02:00

Erm, just noticed the date...why was this bumped? :blink:

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-10 09:54:00

Since then I have met another that I'm interested in so I’m wondering if I petition this person in the near future will this cause me a problem even though I

How about staying off the computer and meeting someone IRL who doesn't need a visa? I can truly understand falling in love with a person of another nationality (that's a no brainer) but to go back for seconds just seems like #######? to me.

You're worried about your kids? How about not placing them in a situation where you're inviting a veritible stranger into your home to live? Obviously the issue with your ex-fiancee proves that you are somewhat in the dark about things due to proximity...so why on earth you'd try it again seems completely unreasonable.

Also 'i've met another that I'm interested in' and now you're wondering about fiancee details. Kinda putting the cart before the horse, no? How about having it more than just an 'interest' before you start brainstorming how you can bring this unknown into your home with your KIDS.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-10 09:51:00

If the OP's ex comes in on his K-1 visa, the OP should be prosecuted for fraud.

I wish people would read through THE WHOLE THREAD before responding to this now-circular and frankly pointless (yet, yes, entertaining) discussion.

Well if it's entertaining, it's no longer pointless, is it?

Lisa...thats the point. She's already here! She's got two weeks left and is frantically trying to marry SOMEONE! If you have a woman gyno does that make you a lesbian?

I'd agree with TimDaisy...I don't think she's here. I think she's thinking she could use her previous K-1 for this guy to enter the country to marry another.

Cos let's face it, if she were already here, then I think this thread wouldn't even be here. Cos she'd need the K-1 for POE only really.

From what I've discerned from his posts, he may or may not be married or in a petition at the time. That might've been part of the ruse of the oh so effective 'my friend has a problem' bit.

oh and as far as the gyno, the only probbo that person had was if it was a male gyno. That made you a heathenous #######, apparantly, lol.

Good times, good times

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-10 14:55:00

If the OP's ex comes in on his K-1 visa, the OP should be prosecuted for fraud.

I wish people would read through THE WHOLE THREAD before responding to this now-circular and frankly pointless (yet, yes, entertaining) discussion.

Well if it's entertaining, it's no longer pointless, is it?

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-10 14:25:00

I seriously (L)

off the wall threads like these.

Like that disney guy or the woman who said any woman who goes to a male gyno is a #######.

More please! lolz

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-10 14:18:00

Awww, sorry man, there's no transferrable option on the visas...it's not like you're transferring a service contract on a house or something like that. Duh.

Oh, btw...you not cancelling the K-1 for your fiancee even though you had decided not to marry her? That's fraud.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-10 10:01:00

Out of the Blue Update

and to you perfects - who do you think you are kidding anyway - I bet there is lots of unsaid unfulfillments underneath all that smoochy perfection and one day it will come out and bite you in one big bite rather than our little nibbles !

*looks around*

:blink:

Andrew.....brilliant news! I am very happy for you both.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-13 14:25:00

Can i move

The problem is, David and I already sold our UK house. It was a helluva deal, and the new owner has let him live there kind of as an 'overseer' until the man's daughter moves back. Problem with that is, that he only is req'd for 30 days' notice & then he's out. And it's gettin late in the game, so we're waiting for the other shoe to drop. Could be anyday, could be months from now.

We're finally filing this weekend, btw. No timeline yet.

Edited by LisaD, 15 March 2007 - 10:00 AM.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-15 09:59:00

Can i move

Hey I have a question...what if the beneficiary moves? Is it the same process to just update on the site?

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-15 09:46:00

What To Do If Your Fiance Is Already In The USA

Wow, I am learning a lot in 1 day, I didn't realize you guys reply so quickly too. I had no clue there was such a thing of fraud upon a visa... I actually met her here after she had already had been in the US, I did not know her before... So say if her visa is already expired, I don't want to tell her to go home and wait this long process so she can come back, is it possible for her to stay and file the proper paper work, and if everything gets approved then send her back home to re enter? (I'm not sure if that even makes sense...)

By how long is her visa expired?

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-08 00:34:00

What To Do If Your Fiance Is Already In The USA

Getting married on a tourist visa is not illegal, but staying in the country after the marriage is illegal.

no it isn't.

It's all about the intent at the POE. Once the marriage has taken place, they can apply for AOS providing the intent was not to emigrate upon arriving in the states.

As far as a possible visa overstay and the effects on this situation, well, that's a diff kettle of fish & I have no clue about that whatsoever.

so you are trying to say that theres nothing illegal about coming to the US on a tourist visa (without the intent to marry), get married and then file for AOS???!?!?!??!

Why is not everybody on here doing it then?????

You're missing the key words

INTENT UPON ARRIVAL

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-08 00:14:00

Wanna see what a K1 visa looks like?

attention maybe?

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-11 12:21:00

question

JelloShotGirl,

RTFM - the answer to your question is one of the very first items in the form instructions.

Yodrak

are greencard holders permitted to do a fiancee visa or a k3 visa for their spouse/future spouse or is this limited only to US Citizens or Naturalized US citizens? THanks!

OOOh I've never seen Yodrak all masterful like that before.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-18 14:55:00

Lisa,
Not sure what "Feel for your stones" means. I must have missed that movie or book, Please explain.

I have read "Men are from Mars, Ladies are from Venus" and i try to communicate more now than i did before i read it. My mind is not made up, as i said before, the replies have given me lots to think about. Earlier today, i decided to take Turboguy's suggestion and maybe go see her one more time to try to work it out & decide whether she really cares about me or not. But i am waiting on an email from her to see if she cares anymore. The last thing she told me last night was "i will email you soon with a decision", the decision being whether she wants to go forward with the visa. My gut feeling right now is to forget the whole thing, and forget women altogether. But who in "MY Hell" wants to go through life lonely and by themselves. Though i know i would probably be better off, i don't want to do it. So i don't have ANY answers. Though my mind says "forget her & move on", my heart has a mind of its own that says "hey you idiot, i think i am in love with this woman and i don't want you to forget her". So, what to do, what to do, what to do!!!! I am on the fence falling in both directions.

'feel for your stones'...is a figurative saying which means feel for your erm, boys down under and stop fannying about with 'oh should I? shouldn't i?' You know there are red flags or else you wouldn't have started this thread. Yet you instantly jumped on her defense trying to justify things with all sorts....so just make the decision you know you want to and be done with it. I mean it's so fricken obvious it's not even funny.

Also...it's not 'ladies' are from Venus. It's 'women' lol. I know that's pedantic, but 'ladies' just sounds so smarmy, hahahah. And no one's from mars, no one's from Venus. You however are from America and she is from Russia...and you need to ask yourself 'if not for GC/money/daddy replacement for her kid....what does she want from me?' if you struggle for an answer....think about that. I only bring all that up because YOU did. But if your answer to lonliness is to hire-a-housewife...well then I hope you're ready cos the sex you got aint gonna be anything compared to the screwin you're gonna get. And you can take THAT to the bank, my friend.

Best of luck in whatever you do. Right wrong or otherwise you'll survive. But by God, man...I hope this thread has taught you summat. Don't be so fast and loose with your personal details if you don't want them talked about and speculated over like a good episode of Jerry Springer.

Edited by LisaD, 16 March 2007 - 10:18 PM.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-16 22:16:00

ORIGINAL QUESTIONS:

In your opinions, was i wrong for asking for my money back when she wouldn't come to bed? Should i continue to try to make this work when i am wondering if she cares?

Ms. Bong, not sure very many read the questions.

If you weren't so great in the sack, you shoulda deffo let her keep the money

All kidding aside...why are you asking us?? Seriously, you're old enough to know that you've already made your mind up, so just feel for your stones and do whatever it is you want.

Edited by LisaD, 16 March 2007 - 06:28 PM.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-16 18:28:00

Wow!!!! How many would suffer foot in mouth if she were to tell her side.

Yes, everyone should realize that i am only telling my side of the story and she does not have the opportunity to tell hers. Yes, i realize i am forcing the relationship. But i do care about this woman very much, and, because of the language barrier, i feel i do not completely understand her feelings toward me. She started out the perfect match and only after our problems in St. Pete was their any problem at all. She came into the St. Pete meeting with a great attitude and only after our discussion on the 4th day did it turn bad. I blame myself for most of those problems because i did not understand her feelings toward me, which i still believe were honest and good, except for the dress she wanted. And that problem i blame on her not realizing the value of a dollar because she grew up in a small town. She is poor and was looking forward to coming to St. Pete to buy a new dress. I don't want to defend her too much, but i assure all of you that she does have a side to the story that none of you know about. I feel this woman is a good woman and not in it for my money. I do appreciate most people's comments because it gives me things to consider and think about, however, i do feel some of you are making harsh comments when you do not know all the facts.

omG...only after the 4th day did it turn bad? Well that's a different story altogether! :lol:

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-16 14:35:00

yes, this relationship is unique and does not have "LOVE" in it yet, and i say YET!!!! We both have needs and can fill the other person's needs. Love can and will work its way into our life. Who of you want to play "GOD" and say it can't work. Sounds like many of you do.

Then don't ask for our opinions if ya don't wanna hear the answer :thumbs:

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-16 07:16:00

Thanks for all your opinions and thoughtfulness. I would like to add that i do have a copy of her divorce papers which i submitted one with the I-129F. But the copy i have is illegible & USCIS says i have to translate it into English so i asked her for a more legible copy which she has not sent. She is going to school full time & i wonder why if she plans to come to USA, she just enrolled for two months. She has not beat me out of any money to date and when i visited her in 11/06, she was very frugal with my money. But when i met her in 02/07, she seemed like a spender wanting a $1,200 dress. She settled for a $300 blouse, which is still a lot of money, but she was not happy. I also know she doesn't love me yet, but she has a 14 y.o. son and said she wanted a Dad for him, so i am hoping she will learn to love me. Thought i would add some more infor, it is hard to tell the whole story in one post. thanks again everyone, i am needing some encouragement to continue. But i am coming to realize that it may be a lost cause.

Yanno, I at first did feel sorry for you...but yanno what I'm wondering? I'm sure there are local women in their 50s-60s who might be widowed, divorced, etc.. who are looking for partnership, comfort, romance, etc. But you wanted the 20year younger hot Russian woman.

And now you want our encouragement to help you 'stay the course' even though this is as clear as the nose on your face? I'll tell ya what....if you stay with her...well, you're a mug and you deserve everything she's gonna do to you. You don't need support, you need a strong dose of reality and a cold shower.

Harsh? Yep. True? Absofrickenlutely.

Edited by LisaD, 15 March 2007 - 10:27 PM.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-15 22:27:00

I'm actually shocked you came home and filed.

Actually, on second thought...

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-15 22:19:00

Crying!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-14 14:26:00

Crying!

Saying that, I have allowed myself to have the occassional pity party, but the advice above is how I get over it. :thumbs:

good luck

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-13 14:21:00

Crying!

Everyone needs to take a deep breath and relax. Stress is no good on your body. Crying about it is not going to make anything better.

Try meditation, prayer, herbal tea, whatever.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-13 14:20:00

Out of the Blue.....

If you have forgiven her and she is willing to make it work, there's absolutely no reason for it not to. Keep positive, Andrew, a true unconditional love can get through anything so long as both parties realize the other is a fallable human being and is willing to offer forgiveness when needed.

I was never a believer in unconditional love between a man and woman until I met David. There is nothing we can't get thru, and I will fight til my last breath for us.

I so wish you the best and am keeping you in my thoughts that you two get through this.

Anita Cocktail

Male

2007-03-08 12:31:00