Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
Middle East and North Africa	me thinks there are posers in MENA	Sometimes i get PMs from men in MENA, but they all think i'm a man !! They always start off, "Brother..."	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-23 22:32:00
Middle East and North Africa	Interviewer in Casa	Good luck, HoneyBeary! The important thing is to be prepared, have copies of everything, just in case they don't have something, and tell your habeeb not to be shy about addressing any "red flags" you have, and to speak openly with the Officer. Moreover, if he doesn't understand something or a question be it in Arabic, French, or English, tell him not to be shy about asking her to repeat the question or to rephrase the question in a way he can better understand. We had a blonde. i don't know if it was the blonde, but we had a blond lady, who did not speak any Arabic...and my habeeb doesn't speak much English. She was nice to him, and to myself. We got AP, but they called and communicated with us exactly when they said they would. Just be prepared! And be confident... you love each other and you want to start a life together... no crime in that! hz	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-06-05 10:01:00
Middle East and North Africa	What's up with the CASA embassy???	Hmmmm... i've never heard of this specifically happening before, but unfortunately, i can't say i'm surprised. i think Casa has a lot of mix-ups and who knows what happened. it could be they just lost or misplaced something... maybe they deleted his prints from their computers! i can only begin to imagine. i'm sorry for the hold-up though! he should go down there and see what they tell him. on the bright side, at least they are working through your case and "processing"... albeit, not with much organization. good luck! i hope it's nothing and they'll issue his visa ASAP, inchallah.	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-06-10 21:38:00
Middle East and North Africa	Finding a job once they get to the U.S	QUOTE (Pattu Rani @ Jul 29 2008, 07:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE Great idea... will have to check it out... OMG! Health Nuts! i work right near there!!! Cool - I've gone in there a few times when I am in the neighborhood and the guys stocking the shelves were speaking Nepali - I am so tempted to go up and talk to them but I am shy... Seriously, maybe ask around or go to a Moroccan/MENA neighborhood(maybe Atlantic Ave. in Brooklyn or Astoria) - I actually found out about the emp. agency through an ad in a Nepali-American newspaper that I picked up in a Nepali video store. Girl! Get in there and bust out your Nepali! Turn a few heads!	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-30 09:30:00
Middle East and North Africa	Finding a job once they get to the U.S	QUOTE (Pattu Rani @ Jul 29 2008, 04:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (AlHayatZween @ Jul 29 2008, 12:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> i luckily just got this office job in June with insurance, and i hope to add Habibi to mine, inchallah, when we get the official US marriage certificate. you are right though... insurance costs are through the roof! i really don't know how people are making ends meet... i don't know if I'LL be able to make ends meet. Yep, we are going to be living 3 people in a 1br when he gets here(G and I will be sleeping on a futon in the living room - luckily he is used to tight living) and then hope to save for our own place - there is no way I can spend $300/month on insurance, especially while he is not working. We are unionizing at my work and hopefully if/when it is all done then our premiums for family plan will be lower(maybe by the time G gets here) but until then I am looking at him going uninsured - of course he doesn't realize it's a problem... Dear P, Something i thought of, but don't exactly remember the specifics of... When i had no insurance, i learned that immigrants in NYC can get free or sliding scale coverage at Bellevue Hospital. i believe it might be through HealthPlus... you'd have to look into it... if nothing more than to ease your mind a bit. You, as a working USC, won't be eligible, but your hubbie may be... ? QUOTE (Pattu Rani @ Jul 29 2008, 04:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Is there an employment agency which works specifically with Moroccan applicants or other MENA people? There is actually an agency in Jackson Heights which places Nepalis in jobs and I am hoping they can help Govi but I am afraid because he doesn't have a degree, only SLC(like HS diploma). I have noticed in certain stores/jobs there are clusters of immigrants from the same country/region and I suspect that the agencies place these workers, like I see all African guys doing supermarket deliveries on the UES and Nepalis stocking shelves at the Health Nuts store on 2nd Ave. Great idea... will have to check it out... OMG! Health Nuts! i work right near there!!!	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-29 13:57:00
Middle East and North Africa	Finding a job once they get to the U.S	i luckily just got this office job in June with insurance, and i hope to add Habibi to mine, inchallah, when we get the official US marriage certificate. you are right though... insurance costs are through the roof! i really don't know how people are making ends meet... i don't know if I'LL be able to make ends meet.	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-29 11:31:00
Middle East and North Africa	Finding a job once they get to the U.S	Salaam Babyeshell, We are going through this same thing right now. My hubbie is out looking for work, with no real prospects yet. His English is minimal and he doesn't have a college degree. He's gone around store to store, and we are blanketing anything we see on Craig's List, but it is slow pickin's... i think for everyone. The economy is really in the gutter and i think there are a lot more applicants for each job... that's for immigrants, American citizens, everyone... The important thing is to keep trying, something will come along inchallah. Something interesting... my hubbie is reluctant to ask at the mosque or at any Arab businesses here in NYC. Is that weird that he is reluctant? Maybe he is just trying to get comfortable and see his prospects first? i mentioned it several times, and he was pretty clear that he wanted to find a job working with "other people" not just "Arabs". Good luck! hz	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-29 11:18:00
Middle East and North Africa	Update on My FIL's Expedited Removal	QUOTE (LaL @ Jul 31 2008, 04:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (diadromous mermaid @ Jul 30 2008, 06:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> If he is eligible to reapply for a visa, it sounds as if it was neither a "deportation" nor "expedited removal". Are you sure your FIL didn't simply withdraw his application for admission, after all? Isn't it just as likely that the right hand (consulate) is not effectively communicating with the right hand (stateside)? and both hands are made up of all thumbs...!	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-31 12:11:00
Middle East and North Africa	Update on My FIL's Expedited Removal	Ughhhh! The whole situation sounds terrible. So sorry to hear that you still haven't uncovered anything! At least try to find some comfort in knowing that you are doing everything you CAN do...	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-30 09:53:00
Middle East and North Africa	I'm just a little upset right now	Yaaaaaaayyy! But he's coming! That's all that matters now! And August 8th is just around the corner! Congratulations on the visa and his upcoming arrival. Inchallah, he'll be here in no time flat!	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-08-01 09:35:00
Middle East and North Africa	THE UNEXPECTED interview	good luck, Ahmed! it sounds like normal processing... i wish you a quick AP, inchallah. and congratulations on at least surviving the interview!	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-29 11:26:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!	QUOTE (Hanging in there @ Aug 1 2008, 09:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hey dont feel bad. My husband has been here 2 months and refused to even start looking until 2 days ago. If your husband is out there looking, thats better than I am doing LOL... It took me 2 months of cajoling just to get him to go to a job fair, YIKES Salaam Wahrania, i know, i've been reading some of your posts! Sounds like a very tough time...! My hubbie is looking for work, but having a heck of a time at it. We have his resume, everything... but i think the market is flooded with a lot of people looking for work. i even heard some college grads on the bus complaining about it. Good luck to you though! Take care of you and your children and your baby... i can't offer much advice about your husband... i read your posts and i'm still quite puzzled by the whole thing. **Also, something for others to take note: i'm finding a lot of scams in the "General Labor" section of Craig's List. Scams about starting your own business, applying for vo-tech programs. It really took me by surprise... so as always, just keep a look out... It's such a shame that in this time where a lot of people are desperate for work, there are predators trying to take advantage of those who are honest and in need... and so the world turns.	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-08-04 08:54:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!	QUOTE (baxxy @ Jul 31 2008, 06:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (polarbear @ Jul 31 2008, 02:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I think you might have her confused with another member.... You're right, sorry about that I was thinking of another lady on here, my bad. hahaha! no worries!	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-08-01 09:25:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!	QUOTE (baxxy @ Jul 31 2008, 05:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I know theres lots of other stuff to do but I would have imagined this would be up there at least on the top 10 list of things to do before he got here. Obviously its become a problem on here for quite a few women. To be fair, finding work is a problem for a lot of people USC's included these days... one of my contracts ran out in the spring, and it took me 2 months to find work! and i'm an American, speak the language, good resume, several years in my field...etc... it's really tough out there these days! oh yes, and i agree two weeks is nothin'... luckily in Habibi's travels today he met another Moroccan man who told him to be patient, something will come along. i'm so grateful he heard it from someone else! and i'm so grateful he's actually meeting some nice people... that's something, no? Edited by AlHayatZween, 31 July 2008 - 01:12 PM.	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-31 13:09:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!	QUOTE (polarbear @ Jul 31 2008, 01:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> It will work out soon, you two just need to have a litte more patience That's the truth! Isn't that what you guys (gals) said: Patience, patience, and more patience... He's out today looking... i'm trying to be his positive cheerleader... though he's been down in the dumps the past day or so...	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-31 10:39:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!	It is, thanks! We are settling in... it's mostly being exhausted and him being very hopeless about finding work... We are doing Craig's List, Monster, the local newspapers, and he is going around door to door asking himself. So far no luck! i keep telling him it has only been less than 2 weeks, and he knows that... but still he's really upset. i hope he finds something soon so we both can relax... Thanks, everybody!	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-31 08:23:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!	QUOTE (S and S @ Jul 30 2008, 12:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I just moved to this area last October. I went out and saw a few things, but I keep telling myself I want to wait for my husband so we can experience it for the first time together. It never occured to me it would take so long for him to get here. I did find some good arabic stores and restaurants which is great. I went to the Opry Mills Mall and another mall (the name escapes me, lol). Really, I think it is nice so far. I just haven't had the mood to get out without my husband here can totally understand that... but feel better! and the better you know the city, the better you can direct your husband where to go for mosque, jobs, treats he likes to eat, etc... when he gets here!	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-30 09:33:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!		AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-29 13:30:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!	QUOTE (S and S @ Jul 28 2008, 08:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (AlHayatZween @ Jul 28 2008, 08:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (Henia @ Jul 26 2008, 02:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I think it is easier to quit in the US, then in MENA. MENA smokes are cheaper and it is all around you. In the US, expensive and becoming if not already is a NO-NO! Absolutely, i agree! To his credit, he is smoking a lot less than when he was working in the souk in Rabat! And at least now, in NYC, you are not allowed to smoke anywhere anymore... he's definitely aware of the difference. S and S, where do you live that smokes are only $3 a pack?!! I live in the Nashville area. Never a better time to take a trip to Nashville than right now! Where is the "Habibi on a Road Trip Smiley" when you need one?	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-29 11:28:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!	QUOTE (Nutty @ Jul 25 2008, 09:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> My husband is sorry for not taking out the garbage. The problem is that I can not adjust to living in the US anymore. I just don't have the stamina to keep up this life. It sucks... i can totally relate. After having lived somewhere where the pace of life was just different, the quality of food fresher and better, it is hard to re-adjust to living here. About your constant fatigue, maybe you should get some bloodwork done? Thyroid check, iron check... any slight imbalance could throw your whole body into to limbo. Fatigue, weight-loss, weight-gain... might be worth it to get it checked out?	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-28 08:43:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!	QUOTE (Henia @ Jul 26 2008, 02:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I think it is easier to quit in the US, then in MENA. MENA smokes are cheaper and it is all around you. In the US, expensive and becoming if not already is a NO-NO! Absolutely, i agree! To his credit, he is smoking a lot less than when he was working in the souk in Rabat! And at least now, in NYC, you are not allowed to smoke anywhere anymore... he's definitely aware of the difference. S and S, where do you live that smokes are only $3 a pack?!!	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-28 08:36:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!	It is so true... i'm exhausted myself. My sister, whose husband is American, said she was exhausted for an entire year after she got married. And her husband was the same man she had lived with for years before getting married! It's tough, but we will get through it somehow, no? At least now, with the added encouragement, your hubbie might remember to take the garbage out next time?? Edited by AlHayatZween, 25 July 2008 - 03:40 PM.	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-25 15:40:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!	QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Jul 25 2008, 04:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (mybackpages @ Jul 25 2008, 11:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I know I am a little late jumping in here, but we really shouldnt take the bickering too much to heart sometimes. It is not always a sign things are not going well. it could just be a sign of how you are communicating. And never underestimate how difficult the adjustment is for USC too. It really does take a great deal of patience on both sides. Aint it the truth!! Somehow we spend so much time worrying about their adjustment that no one stops and thinks about our own adjustments. I can tell you that is hard work. Yes, as i really try to simmer down and funnel my crazy emotions, i realize this is exactly the case for me. i didn't realize that it would be so hard for ME to adjust. he has his moments, and is rising to the occasion like a trooper... me, on the other hand, i can't say i'm as proud of myself as i am of him... i'm really trying to lighten up a bit and give us both a break.	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-25 13:16:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!	Not at all Mimiiw, you definitely don't sound like a "pity me woman". i'm so sorry to hear about all the difficulties you've been having and the stress you've been under for 11 months! it sounds like you are giving it your all. i wish i could give you better advice, but as you know, my husband has only been here 5 days, so i am a newbie all over again. i can only say that in those 5 days, though we have been arguing... i don't feel unappreciated. he acknowledges again and again all that i've done and he is really trying his best to do things on his own... if anything, it's mostly me who picks the fights and is having such trouble adjusting. i don't know if the kind of treatment you are receiving is characteristic of regular "adjustment issues" and "homesickness" and "culture shock". but i'm sure someone here can offer you better, sound advice. all i can say is take care of yourself and do what's best for you. take care and good luck!	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-24 13:14:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!	QUOTE (sarahaziz @ Jul 23 2008, 06:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Let him go out with your dad or brother any male figure close to u it will give you guys a chance to miss each other ! This is a great idea, i think! i mentioned him going out with my dad, but he has been a little resistant to it... maybe he is being a little timid, or macho? (although, he is a little scared of my pop, too... i'll keep thinking)	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-23 22:22:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!	Hi Everybody, Thanks so much for your supportive and insightful comments... i've been checking back in now and again, but just now got some time to write. Yes, i tried to prepare myself as best as i could for his adjustment, but i guess i totally took for granted my own adjustment... we shared a space before, but it was different in Morocco, i guess because the stakes were different. i am having a lot of anxiety now i think because the thought of being financially responsible for someone else is really stressful for me. Sure, i thought i was prepared for the challenge, and i tried to organize my finances accordingly, but now that reality has set in, it feels very overwhelming... and then of course, i hate being a person who worries about money! On a happier note, Habibi is doing really well, despite the craziness of adjusting and the craziness of his wife . He's learning the NYC subway system, which is no small feat as Patti can probably tell you...! He's signed up for English classes next week, and he's started to take walks by himself in the neighborhood to clear his head, so i think those are all very good things, no? Lastly, we made a no smoking in the house rule, and it seems to be holding... Anyway, thanks so much for the ideas... i'm going back to work tomorrow, so i'll probably be posting again... this time with "separation anxiety" issues. hz	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-23 22:20:00
Middle East and North Africa	Habibi Has Arrived!	Salaam everyone, Hope this post finds you well. i just wanted to share the good news and ask for a little insight... Habibi arrived 4 days ago via JFK... Alhamdulilah. He passed through immigration and customs no problem, got the work stamp, and everyone was really very nice to him. I am so thankful for that... We are getting settled and i'm so happy he's here... but it's really hard. We are bickering all the time (mostly about $$ and his smoking, which is about his health and more $$), and i find myself asking if we will really be able to do this? It's not him... he's my Habeeb (except for the excessive smoking habit that somehow increased over the past year ) (i don't mind a few here and there), it's me... i'm the one taking issue with everything, and i'm starting to doubt that i'm even cut out for marriage. It's only been 4 days... is this normal for 4 days? i thought we'd at least have "honeymoon period". i'm quite upset and find myself sad a lot of the time... and that can't make anything easier for him... he traveled a million miles just to be with me. hz	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-22 20:58:00
Middle East and North Africa	Did your MENA man want to move	i find myself thinking about moving to Morocco a lot. it will be interesting to see how the economic climate changes in these next couple months... M4ever, you would learn the language if you were immersed in it, and you'd be able to get yourself around. Maybe not write a dissertation in Arabic, but you'd be able to be out and about... Plus, if you know any French, that would be a huge help. i understand what you are saying though... it can feel like a prison when you are in a place where you can't communicate yourself and your needs and your feelings correctly.	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-08-04 14:49:00
Middle East and North Africa	Did your MENA man want to move	QUOTE (Olivia* @ Aug 3 2008, 08:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Mine wants to move to NYC like that's the only place one can find oppurtunity in the US? Well see. ha! this might be a good opportunity to teach him the expression "the grass is always greener..." just like every place else, NYC has great advantages, but great disadvantages as well... and i've lived here most of my life! i think for us, both me and Habibi, agree that NYC (well... Brooklyn) is only temporary. i would love to move as soon as he gets a handle on the language and gets some work experience under his belt. if i had it my way, i'd like to try living in the Bay Area. i heard the grass is greener there...	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-08-04 09:48:00
Middle East and North Africa	Did your MENA man want to move	QUOTE (Olivia* @ Aug 4 2008, 02:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I just want to live somewhere where I have at least five acres of land around my house and a big electric fence. I want TiVo, and a home theater system, internet access, a cell phone, an great big art studio to do whatever I wanted, maybe two horses outback I feed and water and brush in the mornings, a flower garden with all kinds of roses, and a vegtable garden I take care of everyday, and some dogs and cats. I'd like lots of trees for shade and maybe a pond somewhere, and lots of wild natural green around, and peace and quiet where I don't ever have to see anyone, besides my Husband, if I don't want to. Sounds perfect! Well... minus the cell phone... i wish i could get rid of mine!	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-08-04 09:43:00
Middle East and North Africa	intreview in casablanca	Sounds good, Rachidaderdour! Good luck to you. Inchallah you'll have your visa toute suite. hz	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-08-05 08:31:00
Middle East and North Africa	Wedding Vows	Salaam all, Once your fiance(e) or husband or wife, finally arrived... Whether it was your first wedding ceremony, or second now that your sweetheart is in the US, did you decide to exchange wedding vows during your stateside ceremony? And if so, did you make up your own vows, or did you go the standard, regular route? Did you do the vows in English or in your SO's language? Or both? Did you find a way to combine an Islamic and civil ceremony? Just curious for your thoughts and experiences... We are planning for our civil ceremony soon, inchallah, and i'm looking for some ideas....... Thanks for sharing! hz	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-08-06 09:50:00
Middle East and North Africa	Purchasing a Ticket for Someone Else to Use - Any Problems?	Hi Karamella, You must be so excited making all these preparations! i purchased the ticket for my husband here online, everything in his name, with itineraries and confirmations being sent to his e-mail account. i paid with my credit card. we had no problems... it was with Royal Air Maroc though, maybe Jet Blue is different? hz	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-07-25 13:46:00
Middle East and North Africa	Thursday	Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgh!!!!!!!!! i'm going insane.	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-08-07 11:49:00
Middle East and North Africa	Does your muslim husband mind if you drink?	there was a time, not too, too long ago... when i was a DIVA and could hang with the best of them... but since, then we've both given it up... for all different reasons... so, alas, no drinking chez nous... or outside of chez nous...	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-08-06 10:18:00
Middle East and North Africa	sereia	Good luck, Sereia! Hope it all works out, and you guys find a solution. Let us know! Good to see you are alive and well!	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-08-11 12:59:00
Middle East and North Africa	Great time!!!	Congratulations Samira! Alhamdulilah! Glad to hear that he has arrived safely and finally!!!	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-08-13 14:12:00
Middle East and North Africa	How much times does your MENA man spend on the phone or computer???	Salaam Crazy, My hubbie just got here so our input might be slanted... He doesn't spend much time on the computer at all, but he's not much of a techie... and he speaks a few times a week with family & friends... i don't think it's a red flag if you know who he's talking to, and if he shares all the faraway news with you... i think some men are genuinely social and enjoy catching up on news and gossip just as much as some women do... but i can see how it would be annoying if he's blabbing all the time on the computer/phone!! hz	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-08-11 12:51:00
Middle East and North Africa	Upated of 14th embassy date!	i know we are supposed to be compassionate and patient, but there are moments in this immigration process that i really feel so frustrated i want to tear my hair out and scream. i don't understand the world around me sometimes. Tammy, i really admire your strength... God bless you. i hope you find out something next week and your husband can join you quickly thereafter, inchallah.	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-08-14 10:35:00
Middle East and North Africa	Upated of 14th embassy date!	What?? !! So they rescheduled the interview again? Did he actually go to the embassy or did they call him to inform him of the change in plans? i'm so sorry, Tammy... You are a very strong person, and i am amazed and humbled by your perseverance and calm. Good luck and many prayers to you. Please keep us informed. Isn't there anything to be done on this end (that you haven't already done) to expedite this? hz	AlHayatZween	Not Telling	Morocco	2008-08-14 08:17:00