ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Middle East and North AfricaSerious Doubts
I am not of any middle eastern faith, so I could be way off base here. And, if I am, I apoligize. But, is there someone of your faith....some Holy man or something....who could guide you guys through this? A mediator of sorts?
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-11-15 22:53:00
Middle East and North AfricaMissouri meet-up
QUOTE (charles! @ Nov 10 2008, 09:02 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
jeff city? don't they have shooting and non-shooting seating there?



Hee hee......I do remember a big fake cow in the back of a truck at a restaurant we went to. Scared the ####### out of me.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-11-10 10:05:00
Middle East and North AfricaMissouri meet-up
I'm jealous. I just love meet-ups. You need to come to St. Louis.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-11-10 10:01:00
Middle East and North AfricaHe's driving me crazy
My thoughts are that his life is so out of his control right now, he's using his actions and questions to try and regain some of that control. It will all taper down eventually.

Just hang in there.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-11-14 21:22:00
Middle East and North Africabeen having a long time on line affair in MENA
QUOTE (Rajaa_Reda @ Sep 10 2008, 07:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I knew you couldn't resist peaking whistling.gif .... but really I get up every morning to talk to you guys... rush home after work to peak at anything new..and sometimes on the sly log in at work. What does that sound like to you???

I don't tell others about what I do here on line and when something new happens I get all excited... innocent.gif

Does it change once you get your S/O home???? unsure.gif

Thoughts, ideas appreciated star_smile.gif star_smile.gif


Depends. I am at work when I am on. I still have to work even though he's been here over 2 years. I'm still on.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-09-10 10:08:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA men and their family
QUOTE (Rajaa_Reda @ Nov 1 2008, 11:14 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I understand but it doesn't feel good... i guess i am being selfish... thanks ladies



All I think of when I read something like that is hasn't he spent the last ## of years doing the same thing. Yes, it is a long time before he can go back sometimes; but..........
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-11-03 13:43:00
Middle East and North AfricaDouble lives of visa journey petitioners ( what we dont really want to post)
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Nov 25 2008, 11:21 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jomo @ Nov 25 2008, 01:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have no issues with the first 2 of the poll. The 3rd is a definite no. I think we who have made it through the whole process or are very near the end, are doing a great disservice to anyone who follows if we tell them it's nothing buy sunshine and rainbows. I know when I have stated issues out loud, I have had people thank me for letting them know they aren't alone.


Which is why I have participated in the threads that talk about the difficulties when they get here. Too many people assume that when they get here it is going to be a bed of roses. It gets easier in some ways, but it gets harder in other ways. I believe in sharing what either my husband or I have gone through after he got here. I am hoping that it will help others to plan in advance on what to expect, and to see problems for what they are. After my husband had been here about six months he was ready to go back. I had not read here about this adjustment period, so it upset me. But now I see that almost all of the men that have come have had a period of adjusting. I will post what has happened to us in a general manner, but I won't post details. But to post about arguments that have absolutely nothing to do with the culture adjustment and immigration process is more or less setting yourself up to be a target.



I think regardless of what you post about, someone is going to see it as too close to their own situation, not want to feel like that, and go off on you. It is what it is sometimes. I've read a lot of your stuff. Sometimes, especially in the beginning, almost all of it is relative to the immigration process. L
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-11-25 14:45:00
Middle East and North AfricaDouble lives of visa journey petitioners ( what we dont really want to post)
I have no issues with the first 2 of the poll. The 3rd is a definite no. I think we who have made it through the whole process or are very near the end, are doing a great disservice to anyone who follows if we tell them it's nothing buy sunshine and rainbows. I know when I have stated issues out loud, I have had people thank me for letting them know they aren't alone.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-11-25 12:07:00
Middle East and North AfricaAmerican women vs Arab women raising children
HIT, I aspire to be just like you. Wow! The times I have wanted to say this to some people I know. Not Arab, btw. Thank you for showing me how it is done today!
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-10-06 09:03:00
Middle East and North AfricaAmerican women vs Arab women raising children
My husband told me he thinks it is terrible that Americans put children in their own rooms. He says in Jamaica, the women sleep with the children. I found that horrid......not only because you lose all privacy in your own bedroom and have more issues seperating later; but also because I'm an active sleeper and so is he. The child would be crushed.

Everyone has their opinions. I think you need to stand up for what you believe in. Once you get the point(s) across, it's time to walk away and stay away from the fools.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-10-06 08:15:00
Middle East and North AfricaMerry Christmas
Merry Christmas, MENA friends.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-12-25 19:27:00
Middle East and North AfricaStopped cooking for my husband!
QUOTE (Kathryn41 @ Jan 31 2009, 04:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Your solution to the food budget situation reminded me of how my cousin handled her husband's apparent inability to put his dirty clothes in the clothes hamper. She would spend time every day following around after him picking up his discarded socks and shirts and clothing from wherever he left them on the bedroom floor and where he kicked them under the bed, and put them in the hamper. He always had freshly laundered clothes for work. She, however, also worked full time and still did the majority of the domestic chores. She finally got really peeved at his continual promises to put his dirty clothes in the hamper and then failing to do so. She stopped picking up his clothes. Any laundry that was in the hamper got washed. Anything that wasn't in the hamper didn't get washed. When he couldn't find a clean shirt he asked her why she didn't do the laundry. She replied that she did - she washed everything in the dirty clothes hamper. It took about a week off him not having clean clothes to wear to work before he finally 'got it'. Problem solved. Husband trained. Dirty clothes are always in the hamper now. (And yes, his mother always picked up after him!)



Ha ha....tried that too. Did't work for us.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2009-02-02 11:40:00
Middle East and North AfricaStopped cooking for my husband!
QUOTE (Nagishkaw @ Jan 31 2009, 10:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
0nly nun's change habits.



Ha ha.....Amen to that. No matter how much you want to will someone to change, they just don't.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2009-02-02 11:38:00
Middle East and North AfricaStopped cooking for my husband!
QUOTE (teenutty @ Jan 30 2009, 02:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When my husband got a job, I suggest we open a joint household account in which both of us contribute X amount of dollars to pay the rent, electric, telephone, internet and food. My husband said no. He prefered both of us to buy food and put all receipts in a jar. After a month, we would tally the amount both us spent and one would pay the other according to who spent more (to make it 50/50).

I did not like this idea. It was more like college room-mates than how a husband and wife should be. I told him so. However, I went along with his method.

Low and behold, a few weeks ago, we tallied up the receipts (for 6 weeks or so of food). I spent $350.00 and he spent $190.00. So he owed me money for the difference. He then said, "I can not participate in this because I have a bad ecomony." This is because he just bought a truck and PREFERED to pay TO LARGE LUMP SUMS OF CASH rather than a longer, less burdensome 6-8 month payment plan.

This really irked me. The reason my food bill is higher is because when I shop for food, I buy basic ingrediants to cook home-cooked meals, usually 4 or 5 servings worth (FOR HIS BENEFIT). Cheaper cuts of meat, like pot roast, value pack chicken thighs, herbs, stock veggies, etc. (make tarragon mushroom chicken soup, beef stew, pot pies) I am also the one who does 90% of the heavy cleaning. So I know when we need dish soap, cloth detergent, A-jax, sponges, etc. Whenever he goes shopping he buys (milk, cereal, dates, eggs, cup of noodles -THAT'S IT!).

Well, I decided if he can't "participate" because of "his economy," neither could I. So I stopped all shopping and cooking. I refuse to even eat with him. And I will eat the food he brings home. So I have been living on cereal and cup of noodles off and on. But mostly eating at work.

He finally asked me, "aren't you going to cook anymore or eat anymore?" mad.gif


Been there, done that. If he wants to be fair, then, it has to be fair. If you are taking the full burden, I would do the same thing.

Stick to your guns. You let someone take advantage of you, they will.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2009-02-02 11:01:00
Middle East and North AfricaWE GOT OUR INTERVIEW!!!
Congrats. Best wishes that it is smooth sailing the rest of the way.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-10-09 15:07:00
Middle East and North AfricaSCAMMED FOR A GREEN CARD
I'm sorry, girl. Hugs.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2009-01-27 22:00:00
Middle East and North AfricaI think I was Used
QUOTE (dillon @ Feb 24 2009, 07:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just look at it as a learning experience and move on. Delete all his contact info you have of him and move on.



Exactly.

So sorry.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2009-02-25 07:32:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA Book Club
A book is a book is a book...........in my opinion.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-09 12:33:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA Book Club
Can anyone join in? I love to read; but usually have no one to discuss anything with.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-09 12:28:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA Book Club
QUOTE (moody @ Sep 5 2007, 08:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Not MENA really but having to do with similar culture...The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns.

Egypt related...I'm Happier to Know You by Jeanne M. Eck and Fatwa:Living With a Death Threat by Jacky Trevane (I heard this is a good one but haven't read it yet...waiting for my copy to be shipped in 6 weeks)



OMG....The Kite Runner and A Thousand Spendid Suns....I second that a thousand times. I LOVED both those books. Wondering if The Kite Runner movie will stand up to the book.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2007-11-26 10:44:00
Middle East and North AfricaI lost my husband today
QUOTE (Henna Rose @ Jul 27 2008, 03:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We were married just over a month and I lost my best friend today. I do not even have the words right now. Please do not listen to any inaccurate reports coming from other sources ~ I am getting the information as it comes directly from his family. I will share more details as I see fit, but please allow me to speak for my husband. I do not want him disrespected any further sad.gif I am in shock right now and I can't accept or believe the news that I received today !! He was 26 years old. God be with us and my husband rose.gif



No matter what the circumstances of his death were, I am so very sorry for you. I hope you find peace and comfort one day. Nothing else matters.

Edited by Jomo's girl, 28 July 2008 - 10:03 AM.

*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-07-28 10:01:00
Middle East and North AfricaSupporting your s/o through the big change...
This happens to all immigrants. One word of caution from me is to pay attention to how loudly his parents are complaining. They can make his life a living hell.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2009-09-17 11:07:00
Middle East and North AfricaAngelina Jolie met with Iraqi refugees in Syria on Friday
QUOTE (*Len* @ Oct 8 2009, 06:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (doodlebugg @ Oct 8 2009, 03:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I know that she does a lot of good things for people around the world but I just can't get past the whole breaking up of his marriage to Jennifer Aniston. Nothing unfortunately will ever change my opinion of her. sad.gif


secret7vf.gif sister doodle.... no one breaks up someone else's marriage if it ain't fractured to begin with. But hey, to each its own. I think Aniston is as insipid as tap water and never really stood a chance in the quest tongue.gif

In any case, I think both her and the Brad are doing great work. Hell, the only decent thing people who are celebs can do is get on with a cause -any cause- and really devote themselves to it. They have a voice and presence that most of us do not.



Almost exactly what I wanted to say. Only you are so much more eloquent.

QUOTE (Bajih @ Oct 8 2009, 08:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My SO happens to be one of those Iraqis in Syria unwilling to go back to a country at war. His status is a temporary citizen and he has to get his papers signed by the government every month now- at a very high cost. We are scared right now that they will not renew it and he will be deported to Iraq.
Interesting that she met with the president of Syria. Syria does not provide much support for these refugees- They are unable to work and have no means to support themselves. What real change comes from her visit? Nice to do so- but action is needed to help these people. -as with any displaced people. What a hellish way to live.

Iraqis are unable to get visas to other countries. We are currently in 6 months of AP hell with the worry of not knowing where he may be week to week...and knowing we can't do anything about it but wait.

My SO is extremely depressed right now as this seems never ending and he is scared. It is getting harder every week. sad.gif

Sorry for the downer, but that is my life right now. I am extremely worried about him and his situation.



I am so sorry. Best of luck to you.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2009-10-08 20:38:00
Middle East and North AfricaLET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR RED FLAGS

Wow, mabruk all for keeping this real and informative. I think we get into trouble when we start applying these *general* principles to specific people.

Umm, I think our red flag was education difference, plus my husband was only marginally employed at the time of the interview. Neither of these things were mentioned. We had a million photos, letters, etc, but the CO was most interested in the photos. He only looked at a few of them and then approved us. I think this goes to show that they make up their minds *before* the interview (sadly).

I hope this thread helps some people to realistically look at their "red flags" and to address them.

Sharon


My husband's CO looked almost entirely at the pictures too.....Andre went in there with 3 full scrapbooks full of our escapades plus copies of monthly plane tickets. After a while, the guy was like, OK, I've seen enough.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2007-04-03 11:15:00
Middle East and North AfricaLET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR RED FLAGS

I would personally have the age, divorce and i have only made one trip there.

None of which i can change now what??


How big is the age gap?

Divorce is not an issue.

And, one trip.....to me that is a bit of a red flag. However, they only "require" that you have met once within the last 2 years. Anyone have any trouble with this one?
*JG*FemaleJamaica2007-04-03 11:13:00
Middle East and North AfricaLET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR RED FLAGS

I thought I'd bring the issue over here so as to separate it from the language thread, which was related to a specific issue. So, as Chiquita posted there, Ellis sees the red flags as:

1. A very brief courtship followed by a plunge into matrimony;

2. A marriage ceremony arranged only a short time after petitioner arrives in the beneficiary’s country and they meet for the first time;

3. No common language;

4. Petitioner resides with family members of the beneficiary in the US;

5. Petitioner is employed by or has a business relationship with a relative of beneficiary;

6. Petitioner submits phone records that show he uses a residential phone number that is listed in the name of another person.

7. US divorce followed very quickly by an engagement to foreign beneficiary is often a red flag for consular officers.

8. There is little or no documentary evidence of the relationship prior to the actual engagement.

9. Long gaps of time between the petitioner & beneficiary being together in person.

10. Failure to disclose previous marriages;

11. Failure to disclose previous petitions filed on behalf of other beneficiaries.


Do you have any of these red flags?

If you've already been past the interview stage, did you have any of these? Were they addressed at the interview? How did you prepare yourselves to address them? What advice would you give to others with the same red flags preparing for their interviews?

ETA: I don't think this list is comprehensive for some of the MENA consulates. What would you add?


#1....Our dating period was very short after a VERY LONG friendship. Our engagement was fairly long before we married.

#2.....We were married exactly 2 weeks after he got here. However, we had met before that, of course.

#7.....After going through an extremely long seperation period (years), I was not officially divorced until after I already engaged to Jomo. We filed a month and 1/2 later.

I wouldn't call them red flags. No one brought anything up at his Embassy interview. We never had an AOS interview.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2007-04-03 11:03:00
Middle East and North AfricaWelcoming a new MENA munchkin :D
She's beautiful. Congrats!
*JG*FemaleJamaica2009-11-24 15:48:00
Middle East and North AfricaJust wondering....
Awwwwww...you guys made me smile today.

I wish only happiness for all of you!
*JG*FemaleJamaica2010-01-11 20:31:00
Middle East and North Africaban for 3 years what to do?

my wifes visa was denied in cairo for admitting to the doctor that she had tried thc one time. whats the procedure? can it be reviewed? pls help



I am not sure what to tell you since you are already married. In the Jamaican forums, there are those who were on K-1, went through similar, ended up marrying and reapplying for CR1. Their spouses are now here now. I can give you a few names if you want to PM them.

I wish you the very best.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2010-03-04 14:31:00
Middle East and North AfricaTHINGS TO MAKE THEM FEEL AT HOME
As far as this subject goes, we tended to search out things together as a learning experience for both of us. Andre was very excited to find the two international grocery stores here and to find we can get the meats, fruits, veggies, and spices at our farmer's market for much cheaper.

Other then that, he was not overly excited about anything else to do specifically with Jamaica that we could find..........restaurants, musical experiences, clothing, etc. He has not actively sought out the local Jamaican community.

He always says he is in the US and he wants to experience EVERYTHING the US has to offer.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-02-14 12:03:00
Middle East and North AfricaToday we lost a MENA jewel
To her friends on here and her family, I extend my sympathies. I'm so sorry.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-06-18 09:44:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresAugust I-130 approvals, lets do NVC together.
QUOTE (shrewdgal @ Oct 16 2008, 08:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
hey guys. on the DS230 question #23 it said list all educational instutitions.
I only started with high school
was that okay?



That will be fine, Shrewdie.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-10-16 08:23:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresHow To Have A Strong Marriage
That all sounds about right.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-07-22 07:44:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresAGE DIFFERENCE?
QUOTE (Richard and Aida @ Jun 25 2008, 08:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jomo @ Jun 25 2008, 09:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My husband and I have a 12 year age difference.

It's been brought up many times.....age doesn't seem to matter except in really extreme cases.



I am 66 and she is 28 and we get along just fine.Age does not make any difference.It is what is in your heart.



That's not what I was saying. I do agree that it does not make a difference to a relationship. However, for some embassies, it certainly does make it more difficult.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-06-25 10:30:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresAGE DIFFERENCE?
My husband and I have a 12 year age difference.

It's been brought up many times.....age doesn't seem to matter except in really extreme cases.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-06-25 08:35:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresArmy Wives
LizScott.....can you make that picture just a little bigger???????
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-07-28 10:13:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresHow can this happen? What can I do?
First of all, wait to hear the verdict on this. Then, have your husband make some calls if need be.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-07-29 08:54:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresHow can this happen? What can I do?
First of all, wait to hear the verdict on this. Then, have your husband make some calls if need be.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-07-29 08:52:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresI Hate this process
We have people on the Jamaican threads going on a full year of waiting.

Hang in there. There is really no rushing the process.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-08-05 08:14:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & Procedures2/24/08 last touch blackwhole
I just thought this might help you see that you are not all alone, Shrewdie. Vent with some people who are in EXACTLY the same situation as you.

I'm still sorry though.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-07-22 14:46:00