Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
China	stress in relationship?	The Chinese mail is really S L O W. I sent something express mail and it took a month to get there. Send her some flowers using a Chinese florist and she will get them in less then 24 hours. Sam is DAMN right...use this link and send her something NOW: http://www.cnflowernet.com/ With the lag time of the mail service, she has to continue to wait for you to do what you said originally. From my experience, nothing works better that to have sent her a package or a letter WITHOUT having told her. The distance of the relationship can be stressful, but relationships are works-in-progress. Remember, this girl is going to give up her whole world in China for you...so make sure that she is confident that she is making the right decision, okay? Good luck!	garfield529	Male	China	2011-02-21 12:49:00
China	Last minute jitters	I don't really have any advice about what not to bring, but I do want to make one point regarding medicine. This is a topic that we somehow did not discuss prior to Yi coming. As you know, in the US you can not just walk into a pharmacy and request antibiotics, ect.. Whereas in China this is totally normal. So, she may want to consider bringing any herbals or medicines that she feels she might need during the short term. We didn't do this and had to pay about $40 for a package to be sent over with the necessary herbals and antibiotics (some of which the FDA does not recommend taking....eh.). Good luck!	garfield529	Male	China	2011-02-28 12:14:00
China	Is it okay to send money each month	That is a good price to send money, it was costing me $60 a wire transfer! WHAAAA??? $14-60 per transfer??? I gave my fiancee a ATM card from my Commerce Account and she took out money as needed to pay for visa items. It costs us around $2.50 per transaction for the international ATM fee. Look into this and save yourself some money.	garfield529	Male	China	2011-03-22 21:31:00
China	One-way or round trip to Guangzhou?	AHHHHH.....this is much easier...haha...thought you were still state side. Good luck!	garfield529	Male	China	2011-02-18 12:52:00
China	One-way or round trip to Guangzhou?	There is much debate about going to the interview and whether it is helpful to the result. Personally, I could not go, but my wife's mother went along. This process is stressful and unless your fiancee/wife lives in Guangzhou it can be disorienting if she is alone. However, in regards to your question: the only safe way to go with round trip would be the following... 1) the ticket is several weeks after the interview (this allows for blue slip, visa delay, ect.), or 2) you do not plan on coming back together. Many times there is a lot to be done after the interview in terms of preparing for the trip over so it is really difficult to nail down a return date. It will cost more money, but if you plan to come back together I would heed the advice of the multitudes and NOT purchase in advance. NOW, if you are planing on going, I will let you in on a great current deal. American Airlines has $299 (each way) flights into Shanghai that could at least save you some cash...then fly a domestic ticket to Guangzhou. Just my thoughts.	garfield529	Male	China	2011-02-17 11:27:00
China	VSC	There is a processing delay and also a system update delay. You will see the same thing with your NOA2, most likely you will receive an email after the notice has been mailed. Don't worry, this means you should be approved this week and on to NVC and then to GUZ. Start making sure your girl is ready for the interview!	garfield529	Male	China	2011-04-28 08:54:00
China	yellow fruit	Congrats on the "impeding tax credit"! As far as the fruit goes, you will have to source it locally and since she likes dried that makes it easier. If she doesn't like what she finds locally her parents may be able to ship it, but the USDA will look for and confiscate any seed bearing products. We had this trouble with hotpot dressing, it is hit or miss on having the packages taken. I have colleagues at the university who go home often and they usually act as my mule for hard to find items and the awesome deals we find on TaoBao. Good luck with everything!	garfield529	Male	China	2011-06-23 22:04:00
China	Need advice about CCP question	They will ask "are you, have you ever been a member of the CCP?" If she says no and they are able to determine she is/was, this is a material misrepresentation and will result in a ban for life. Don't do this.	garfield529	Male	China	2011-07-06 11:19:00
China	CCP	I don't see any red seals....	garfield529	Male	China	2011-06-29 11:36:00
China	people hounding interviewees at Guangzhou trying to "help" them?	Yes, they exist and are there EVERY day. You have everything that you need and in order. Unless you have your own personal assistant that you hired, you do not need anyone else. Once your fiancee is inside the office on the 5th floor, the only people she will have contact with are the intake personnel and the VO. Tell her to not even make eye contact with anyone else outside of the building or in the stairwell, except the consulate personnel directing her to the 5th floor. Vultures.....	garfield529	Male	China	2011-07-25 12:30:00
China	San Francisco friends	There is huge Chinatown section in Oakland, might be a good thing to take her there for a few days but be ware the Taiwanese folk, they usually have a game on, to mess with PRC people, at any time .. I used to have this Taiwanese friend and thought she was a little over sensitive about mainland issues and then she told me not to talk to the Chinese students because they were all spies.... And then a friend of hers told me the same thing. I don't know why. But, years later, none of my Chinese friends seem to even care about Taiwan. Some have thoughts, but not in the same way the Taiwan kids did.	garfield529	Male	China	2011-07-19 14:19:00
China	San Francisco friends	My limited thoughts: 1. Have her search on QQ for local people, my wife did this and found some gals her own age in the St. Louis area. 2. Check out the local ESL courses as they are usually a good place for newer immigrants. 3. Depends on preference but the local Chinese church can also be a good place to meet. 4. There have to be international students in San Fran. If she needs a person from VJ, then she might have to wait some time but she should be able to find someone to just chat with.	garfield529	Male	China	2011-07-13 13:13:00
China	We're in the red!	haha, you used "cogent" on VJ....awesome. Congrats, brother!	garfield529	Male	China	2011-07-29 22:22:00
China	Any suggestions for a great Tour company and places to see (mountains,rivers)?	I don't have the details, but you can PM me and I can get you in touch with a friend of mine who used to work for a travel agency in Chongqing and should have some ideas of good companies. She is living in Israel now, so she won't be the direct contact. My wife might also have some ideas, I can speak with her tonight. Just DO NOT use the people who advertise on the street, they are commission sharks and are not looking out for what you want, just your RMB.	garfield529	Male	China	2011-08-18 12:26:00
China	Off to China tomorrow am for 2 weeks.....	Good luck, eat good food, and bring home the pink!	garfield529	Male	China	2011-08-18 22:20:00
China	Travelling alone to USA	If possible, I would recommend meeting her in at least LA and flying the route back. There will be enough other Chinese on the Narita flight that can help her, but once she is through POE in LA she will be on her own. My wife had trouble with an address being entered wrong so she was held up at immigration for over 2 hours in Chicago and would have been in tears if I hadnt been standing on the other side of the door, and she is a tough girl. Just a though, if you can. Good luck!	garfield529	Male	China	2011-08-02 12:27:00
China	Approved ok. What about transcripts & diploma translations?	Oh, one more point that I would make in regards to your fiancee taking courses here. If she is planning on taking courses as supplement or getting a new degree, then she could indicate that she is a new student. Don't mention the degree that she earned in China and apply using only her high school level. Most schools won't ask for her grades translation and will simply have her take placement testing. Also to consider is that most Universities will require a TOEFL score for admission; community colleges usually have their own English assessment testing. On the face, someone might think I am suggesting some kind of fraud by telling you to ignore the Chinese university degree, which it is not unless she tries to obtain financial aid. This is just one idea to make the transition easier, you will still be paying for classes.	garfield529	Male	China	2011-08-13 14:45:00
China	Approved ok. What about transcripts & diploma translations?	Most Universities will want translations and grade evaluations done here in the US, as they simply won't put much faith in the Chinese forms (at least that was our experience). If you go this route, then having it certified by notary in China is the best way to prevent the institutions from rejecting the translations. The university your fiancee wants to attend can help with this, and hopefully not give misinformation. Now, in regards to teaching Chinese here in the US, is she wanting to teach at a secondary or post-secondary level? I ask this because there are many opportunities in good-sized cities for "language institutes." My wife has done this and charges $35/class/student. There are many well-off individuals who know that Chinese is a key language for the future and are willing to pay for excellent instruction. If there is no such type of program in your city, then start one...trust me, there are parents who CAN afford and WILL pay for a good teacher. Good luck!	garfield529	Male	China	2011-08-13 14:36:00
China	reverse dowry - bride price	This is interesting, I have heard of this but also did not encounter this. My wife says it is more common in smaller towns that are more traditional or it happens in the city with greedy families. I say greedy families in the city not as a jab, but it is really more of keeping face. Often times the family doesn't want or need the more, but the uncles and aunts will be asking "how much" did they receive and the amount will reflect on the parents. When my wife's family found out I was coming, they all came to see me...even the ones who she hadn't seen in years. They asked when I was coming back for my next visit and then laid their "request" list on me. Like a random cousin my wife had never met asked me to buy some expensive microphone for his KTV setup. On her parents request, we very quietly kept future visits unannounced. It is just part of the culture, and of course there is the idea that what we would have given them would then be returned down the road..supposedly.	garfield529	Male	China	2011-08-22 13:36:00
China	Less than two weeks notice for Consulate Intervieww?	It happens, and did happen to us. We had about three weeks from the time the P4 arrived to the interview date. HOWEVER, we knew at five weeks prior because I had hounded DOS daily looking for an update.	garfield529	Male	China	2011-07-01 10:53:00
China	Living in China	It will be difficult to get a B2 visa unless you can prove strong financial ties to China. I would recommend checking out the Candle for Love website for some advice, keeping in mind that most of the guys on that forum are a little older and set in their ways but have a lot of experience. You could do a DCF if you get married in China, but you will need to prove domicile to return to the US. The most likely route is that you will have to file for a K-1 using a co-sponser stateside to overcome your financial deficit since you do not have an income stream from a US company. The other option is to return to the states, establish domicile and then apply for a K-1. Just my advice. Good luck!	garfield529	Male	China	2012-02-14 23:41:00
China	Received Interview letter but..................	Fire you lawyer....everybody join in.....fire your lawyer......cause he isn't up to date.......yeah! Darnell is spot on, they changed the process and you need to make sure that she takes her "kitchen sink" just in case. I have a HUGE stack of papers covering everything my wife (then fiancee) needed but was not asked for. The VO wanted to see a pic of me with her parents, asked a few questions and then sent her on her way. Good luck!	garfield529	Male	China	2012-02-16 21:46:00
China	How You Met Your Chinese Wife/Husband/Fiance and Where Are You From?	We are a strange couple. We get a lot of looks when we go anywhere when they see a Chinese woman with a brownie, In China, India and here at home. Hahaha, but Sam, you are a lovely brownie!! I know the stares are a lot worse in China, but I just stare back and smile because, like you, we are happy and don't give any thought to it.	garfield529	Male	China	2011-07-25 12:37:00
China	How You Met Your Chinese Wife/Husband/Fiance and Where Are You From?	St. Louis ----- Chongqing Met on a website called "interpals." Her profile listed the same favorite movie as mine so I said hello, took a while to warm up conversation since she was hesitant to talk to men and had preferred female penpals(as her experience was often negative with perv jerks). Stayed friends for about a year and slowly the relationship evolved.	garfield529	Male	China	2011-07-24 23:53:00
China	interview process?	Yeah! Scammers all over the place. Don't talk to anyone outside of the embassy...creepers..	garfield529	Male	China	2012-10-22 12:27:00
China	My Fiancee Just Told Me She Cannot Marry Me	I supposed that I have two thoughts to add, having been in a successful relationship with my wife, who happens to be from China. The train wrecks, blow-ups, ect. that I have seen and read about tend to be a result of guys who fall head long into these online dating sites. Again, not judging those sites but there is anecdotal support for this. I really don't know how you two originally met, so I won't assume anything, yet the relationships that do work tend to be those that have a more traditional period of courtship (which can be done online with the right maturity level). With that said, if you go looking for a wife in China you will find a lot of lady-players among the flowers, especially if they are over 25-30 as this is when they fall into the 'left-overs' category. Do you really want someone just looking for an out?? Whatever your reasoning, the path you are on strongly predicts that you are going to have a lot of troubles. That was point one. Point two: if you do find a good, solid woman from China...never let her know that you were shopping like at a meat shop. Be honest about your past, but you will lose a lot of face in her mind if she feels like a fish at market. Unless you are looking for that kind of woman, you know, the ones who want to shop on TaoBao all day and always eat out. Ultimately, good luck, but think about what you want and communicate openly and clearly.	garfield529	Male	China	2012-10-27 12:07:00
China	Chinese computer language Fairy	Two computers are best, because if she is on QQ a lot, then you WILL have virus problems. We have learned that as long as she doesn't play any of her games on the family computer then we don't have any issues from QQ.	garfield529	Male	China	2012-10-18 13:20:00
China	Notarial Birth Certificate ?	QUOTE (IloveTofu @ Dec 23 2009, 08:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> my fiancee is from harbin, but she lives in south china. she had her family help her get the single letter and birth certiificate but there is no english translation. Is enlish translation needed for the birth certificate? she said her local notary does not offer that. thanks She will also need a police certificate indicating no crimes. This was also taken care of at the same office.	garfield529	Male	China	2009-12-23 22:29:00
China	Notarial Birth Certificate ?	QUOTE (IloveTofu @ Dec 23 2009, 08:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> my fiancee is from harbin, but she lives in south china. she had her family help her get the single letter and birth certiificate but there is no english translation. Is enlish translation needed for the birth certificate? she said her local notary does not offer that. thanks Yes, she is going to need the translation... My fiancee went to the office in her hometown with her whitebook and had everything done for about 1500rmb. This was earlier this month. If you want, PM me the address of your fiancee and I can have mine talk to her about what she did.	garfield529	Male	China	2009-12-23 22:27:00
China	I am facing a dilemma, she is back.	As long as the divorce is final and appropriately documented, USCIS probably won't care. The consulate, however, may be a different story. There are some "fickle" aspects to your ex's behavior that could call into question her judgment, and by extension her level of commitment. You may want to consider thinking twice about reconnecting with her, and also consult some of the wise members in the China regional subforum here. That I would need to find out, maybe have her explain more about what happened in that relationship. I am thinking the consulate may question her about her short marriage and resulting divorce. Would the USCIS think her motives are to come to the US and get a green card? She did have coldfeet just as I was about to submit all the forms in, just was missing her passport sized photos. Edited by Chris H, 07 October 2010 - 05:07 PM.	Chris H	Male	China	2010-10-07 17:06:00
China	I am facing a dilemma, she is back.	I thought I finally moved on, but now I am thinking about her again after she called me last week. Her relatives told me about the short marriage and divorce a while back, since I still keep in touch with them. I am not sure if I should ask her more about it, personally. Edited by Chris H, 07 October 2010 - 11:12 AM.	Chris H	Male	China	2010-10-07 11:10:00
China	I am facing a dilemma, she is back.	As long as the divorce is final and appropriately documented, USCIS probably won't care. The consulate, however, may be a different story. There are some "fickle" aspects to your ex's behavior that could call into question her judgment, and by extension her level of commitment. You may want to consider thinking twice about reconnecting with her, and also consult some of the wise members in the China regional subforum here. Should I post the same topic in the China subforum to get opinions from people who married Chinese with this situation? I would really like to know if the consulate in Guangzhou will scrutinize her about the 2 month marriage and divorce.	Chris H	Male	China	2010-10-07 11:05:00
China	I am facing a dilemma, she is back.	Some of you might know my dilemma, but I will post a summary. I was in a relationship with a girl from Xi'an from Sept 2005- March 2007. The relationship was good, and just when I was about to send the docs to USCIS, I forgot I needed pictures of her in passport size. This is when she started having cold feet, and saying she was afraid of America being an unknown land and she wants to bring her mom with her. She and her mom are very close and it seemed nothing could separate them. I still liked her personality, family, and such, and I missed that about her. I moved on, it finally took almost 3 years to not think of her, and I started getting back into dating again, after a hiatus. Then last week I received a phone call from her, I was surprised. She told me how she wanted to start the relationship again, and had regrets not marrying with me. Note: In 2009 she married this man she met at an internet cafe, but after 2 months they divorced. I am not sure what the real reason was, but I heard from her relatives it was from him abusing her. She even cried, which was a surprise because she never cried. She even cried about me, thinking how she turned me down, when I was a compassionate and understanding person to her. This whole thing has me thinking of her again, just as I thought I moved on. Does the USCIS take divorces seriously, and will scrutinize her more if thats on her record?	Chris H	Male	China	2010-10-07 10:45:00
Europe & Eurasia (except the UK and Russia)	France/America couples	Alors normalement, en étant résident américain, vous êtes "normalement" automatiquement radié de la Sécu, et normalement on doit faire la demande nous-même. Bref pour avoir la Sécu, faut être résident francais. Pour le dentiste, j'ai accompagné mon homme la semaine dernière et j'suis restée calme extérieurement mais j'ai eu un choc... A mon avis, même sans la Sécu et si c'est ton bon vieux dentiste qui te connait et ben j'en profiterais quand même. Les tarifs pratiqués, même si t'as pas remboursé sont toujours très acceptables. Enfin si c'est pour des trucs mineurs, type détartrage, carrie, etc... Ceusses qui s'apprêtent à partir : passez par la case dentiste, parce qu'ici le dentiste, c'est...brrr...! Cher, matos bof, et en plus, alors ils ont pas le droit de faire ci, pas le droit de pratiquer tel type d'anesthésie, et blabla... J'ai vraiment regretté de pas avoir emmené mon mec chez mon dentiste Ah je suis bien contente de voir quelqu'un qui partage mon avis sur le dentiste... Je suis allee chez le dentiste de mon mari, soit disant c'est le meilleur qu'il a trouve, il l'adore, etc. Bah perso, il m'a fait mal a chaque fois ! Je ne me souviens pas avoir vraiment mal une seule fois en France, eh ben la j'y suis allee deux fois et la deuxieme fois je suis sortie en pleurant. Et perso, avoir deux "hygienists" + le dentiste, ca fait beaucoup de monde a mettre leurs doigts dans ma bouche. Et chaque carrie, 70 dollars de ma poche. Oui c'est ce que je me dis, meme si c'est pas rembourse, ca sera sans doute moins que ce que je paie pour une carrie ici. et beaucoup moins stressant.	Cecile and Bryan	Female	France	2010-07-23 08:17:00
Europe & Eurasia (except the UK and Russia)	France/America couples	Félicitations Sophie ! Bienvenue, Ben ! Silly question... si jamais je vais chez le médecin/dentiste/à l'hôpital en France, est-ce que je dois tout payer de ma poche ou est-ce que la sécu française rembourse quand même une partie, juste parce que je suis Française ? Je suppose qu'ils ne me remboursent rien, parce que je ne paye plus de cotisations en France, mais juste au cas où, je vous pose la question... j'irais bien faire un tour chez le dentiste pendant que je suis en france, celui que j'ai été voir ici aux USA m'a complètement traumatisée...	Cecile and Bryan	Female	France	2010-07-22 20:35:00
Europe & Eurasia (except the UK and Russia)	France/America couples	Le gros avantage de la carte verte c'est que justement tu n'as plus a faire la queue des visiteurs. Tu passeras avec ton mari a la file "Citizens and Residents". Ils regarderont la carte verte et par contre ils prendront quand meme empreintes et photos. Merci pour l'info ! A Noel, j'etais passe (ouh la la, je viens d'ecrire "j'avais passe", il est temps que je revoie mon francais !) par la file des visiteurs, mais il me semble que la file Citizens c'etait uniquement "US Citizens", et pas "Citizens and Residents". Ca depend peut-etre des aeroports?	Cecile and Bryan	Female	France	2010-07-20 17:15:00
Europe & Eurasia (except the UK and Russia)	France/America couples	J'ai traduit le mien toute seule et je n'ai eu aucun probleme.	Cecile and Bryan	Female	France	2010-07-18 18:14:00
Europe & Eurasia (except the UK and Russia)	France/America couples	Bonjour Bruno, Je pense que cette fee c'est pour obtenir le visa lui-meme (oui, c'est en plus de la somme de depart du K1). Je ne me souviens plus du montant exact d'il y a deux ans quand j'avais du la payer mais c'etait a peu pres ca. Petite question pour ceux qui sont retournes en France apres leur mariage : Bryan et moi partons en France dans quelques semaines. Pour rentrer aux USA, est-ce qu'il va falloir qu'on se separe, que lui aille dans la file pour US Citizens et moi dans l'autre file ? Ou alors quand c'est un couple ils sont gentils et nous laissent prendre la meme file ?	Cecile and Bryan	Female	France	2010-07-18 12:19:00
Europe & Eurasia (except the UK and Russia)	France/America couples	@Cecy: Felicitations, ca a ete super vite ! @montlblanc: tous les papiers ou c'est marque qu'il faut signer devant l'officier consulaire (DS-156, etc) fais ce qu'ils disent. Remplis les mais ne signe pas. Pour tes autres questions je ne me souviens plus du tout. Et en passant, pour ceux qui disent que l'officier consulaire n'est pas tres friendly, moi j'avais trouve que ca allait... la premiere personne (qui recupere tous les papiers, te fait signer, etc) etait assez froide, mais apres l'officier qui te pose deux ou trois questions et approuve le visa etait tres sympa. Effectivement ca doit dependre des cas, mais pour moi je n'ai rien du tout a leur reprocher.	Cecile and Bryan	Female	France	2010-07-18 08:25:00
Europe & Eurasia (except the UK and Russia)	France/America couples	Oui oui je sais qu'il y en a plein qui mangent des légumes (dont mon mari) mais c'est vrai qu'on a des tas d'amis qui ne mangent aucun légumes. Si on leur fait à manger, ils enlèvent tous les légumes qu'ils n'aiment pas et ne mangent que ce qui leurs plaisent. Sans même gouter. Ca ne motive pas pour inviter les gens... Nous les bacs à glaçons on a eu de la chance, on les a trouvé à des garage sales pour cents.	Cecile and Bryan	Female	France	2010-07-11 10:14:00