ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Middle East and North Africaholocaust denial in mena
QUOTE (MrsAmera @ Feb 23 2008, 08:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My husband "knew" about it but not in depth. I would encourage each of you to bring your spouses to Washington DC to the National Holocaust Museum. They will really be shocked and I've found at least with my spouse a small sense of compassion, but also confusion as to how now Jews could treat the Palestinians so badly after they themselves were mistreated. It's a question I often struggle with as well.



Absolutely.

My husband had never heard of the Holocaust until we went through the museum in D.C. last year. We spent hours in there. He's still talking about it.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-02-23 15:43:00
Middle East and North Africaare you ready to find out how much you love your so ??!!!
QUOTE (?JP? @ Feb 26 2008, 07:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just imagine how many would answer yes to stealing the underwear if this test was given to men instead of women. whistling.gif


Well, in the Jamaican forum, the answers of yes would not be as prevelent as you might think!
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-02-26 20:40:00
Middle East and North Africaare you ready to find out how much you love your so ??!!!
Stealing their underwear is just WRONG!
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-02-26 20:12:00
Middle East and North AfricaTravel with Baby
I had read warnings from certain airline websites to this effect. I have travelled twice with my children out of the country. What I did was get a notarized affidavit from their father stating he knew.

Basically..........

I (insert his name) know that my child/ren (insert name/s) will travel to (place) on (dates) with his/her/their mother (insert) for (insert reason).

Signed, dated, and notarized.

I carried it with their passports and WAS asked to show it at the Miami airport before boarding the international flight on just one of our travels. No issues after I produced the document.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-02-29 13:55:00
Middle East and North AfricaSpouse won't forgive & Forget
I really don't want to say what I think about this cause I am very opinionated.

I hope you work it out. I'm so sorry.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-03-14 17:20:00
Middle East and North AfricaMassive MENA MOJO to Wahrania !!!
Boy, that was a letdown. I was hoping for some good news!
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-03-25 08:27:00
Middle East and North AfricaDouble Standards
Wahrania....what do you really want? I think that is the core of all of this.

Can you put up with him being so possessive and overbearing? If the answer is yes, then you have nothing to worry about. I fear, that is not the answer, though, or you wouldn't have brought up this subject.

Then, the question is can he accept some of this as life in the US and change his attitudes? If the answer is no, I then fear you are in for a bumpy ride.

Adjusting to the US, no matter what country you come from, is a tough time. If the person attempting to adjust does not have the ability to compromise, it will be very difficult for them and you.

I think you really need to have deep conversations with your hubby about all this.

I pray for you. I hope it all goes well.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-03-28 11:20:00
Middle East and North AfricaDouble Standards
My husband used to have these strong pre-conceived notions about hating all gay people before he came to the US. Once he met my cousin, my friend, and a few people he works with, he has since realized they are people just like anyone else. I think he thought if the person was gay and a guy, he would have to fend the guy off or something. I kind of chuckle about it sometimes now.

He does say not to tell anyone back in Jamaica he has gay friends. That makes me kind of sad.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-03-27 07:58:00
Middle East and North AfricaDouble Standards
QUOTE (Gaby&Talbert @ Mar 26 2008, 02:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
American woman made American men into submissives so they can do the same with men from other countries.

If I were an american woman I would be more careful with your foreign husbands around american women. American women are much more likely to try to get your husbands to sleep with them than woman from their native country. American woman want to do everything men do and that includes sleeping around.



Well, now.....that's a pleasant thought.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-03-26 14:53:00
Middle East and North AfricaDouble Standards
QUOTE (wahrania @ Mar 26 2008, 11:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have been facing a little bit of this over the last year. I am wondering if anyone else has.

I am not alllowed to talk to men except the ones I work with and family and certainly not have male friends anymore but it seems as if my husband talks freely to women, yet would never accept the same from me.

As much as it pains me, it seems as if a double standard exists in my relationship and it troubles me. He can go out with friends at night overseas and I am sure it will be the same here. But if I go out he wants one of my children with me. He doesn't want me chatting. I feel as if he can do what he wants and I am bound by another set of rules. I know he loves me. That is not the point. I just feel that he is open minded with everyone but me including other American women. He has met them and frankly tolerates all kinds of things in women in his home town but for me and his family oh heck no. I was not even able to hold a conversation with a man or laugh a little when I was in Algeria. I had to keep my eyes down. Have any of you experienced an extreme level of irrational jealousy on your husbands part about men you know, your dress or behavior?

I am opening myself up for a hell of alot of criticism but thats what VJ is about... talking about issues with mena spouses. I know he loves me. This has nothing to do with love. This has to do with culture. He is very hard on the girls in his family and his sister as well....Its not just me



First of all, I want to say I've read quite a few of your posts and while I cringe sometimes at the pain and harsh words I know you are opening yourself up to with your words, I really respect that you are so brutally honest. I learn from you all the time.

I think the double standard is #######. And, In the end, it's impossible to maintain. You could pretend for his sake that you are abiding his wishes, but you would just be lying to yourself and him. In the real world, you come in contact with all sorts of people and the polite thing to do.....the very least thing you can do....is to at least acknowledge them. Some you have to hold a converstion with. Unless you lived in some convent (and even then I have doubts), it would be impossible for you not to interact with men. He has to get over this. If he cannot or WILL NOT, I forsee many problems for you in the future.

You are brutally honest with us here. It's time you get brutally honest with him on this topic.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-03-26 14:12:00
Middle East and North AfricaDouble Standards
QUOTE (charlesandnessa @ Mar 26 2008, 12:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
i can't offer advice, since i'm a guy and that would violate his wishes that you don't talk to other men. innocent.gif



Stop that stuff......You need a big flashing warning that says MAY CAUSE YOU TO SPIT DIET COKE OUT YOUR NOSE before any comments like that!
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-03-26 14:08:00
Middle East and North Africascared but hoping
He scared right now. Who wouldn't be?

Don't put the cart before the horse here. If he hates it, he is free to go back and you will know he loved you enough to try. You will then have to figure out how to life your married life after that. But, what if he comes here and loves it? Please don't stress about this before you see the outcome. It's very important for the two of you to continue to discuss these issues. But, stressing yourself is not doing anyone any good.

Anyone out there who's already been through this in this region, please PM here and talk her through this.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-04-02 08:14:00
Middle East and North AfricaFamily support
Well, I am not MENA; but I am a woman and I do understand.

If you live your life for others, you will never be happy. In my own case, my family wasn't very accomodating at first. While they have come around because Andre is just a nice, sweet guy, there are comments from time to time I have to let go. It is what it is. I'm not changing the way I am and who I love to make anyone else happy. I don't need them and they know it and I think it is that very reason why they try to drag me back to the folds from time to time.

The first thing I did was make it abundantly clear that they can do whatever they like when I am not around; but if they end up hurting Andre in any way, I will cut them out of my life. There is no second chance here. I will choose my husband over my family any day of the week.

It has been just fine.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-04-03 13:19:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe Guilt
They'll get over it. And, in my experience, it is nothing like the frustrations and guilt they will make him feel in the near future.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-04-03 08:42:00
Middle East and North AfricaSummer in Morocco
QUOTE (boardashell_2000 @ Apr 11 2008, 03:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Apr 11 2008, 04:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It really depends on which part of Morocco you are going too. I was in Rabat in Aug, Sept, and Oct months. Oct was warm some days cool others, but nice. Aug to September wasn't as hot temperature wise as my home, but much more humid. I really wanted an AC bad! I was in Saidia in August, that was warm and humid as well. I was in Marrakech in October, and it wasn't as humid, but it was hot. I would assume that August would be really hot.

I am going to be in the North by Tangier on the coast..I am used to humidity though I live on Lake Michigan and it is humid as hell in the summertime...



My husband used to tell me how hot it was in Jamaica. Now that he lives in St. Louis, in the summertime, he knows how hot, hot really is!!!!!
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-04-11 15:48:00
Middle East and North Africafinding a job and being arab
QUOTE (Jenn! @ Apr 16 2008, 11:30 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
He's been here for less than two months. I think you just need to give it more time and he'll find something eventually. I know it's tough, but a lot of nonimmigrants struggle to find work too. I don't doubt that you'll find discrimination at work in some places, but you never know what's really going on. Hang in there!



I agree. It took me, an American Citizen by birth, 4 months to find a job last time I was looking.

My husband must've gone on 50 interviews before he found a job that fit him. He's been there about a year and 3 months now.

Just hang in there.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-04-16 13:30:00
Middle East and North AfricaEarthquake in the mid-west
We had a whole thread about this in the Off topic yesterday. Lots of us felt it out here.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-04-19 22:41:00
Middle East and North AfricaStressed
What I would do is pack a copy of your marriage certificate and a copy of something that shows you are in the visa process in the bag you will take to the hospital with you. That way, you have all the proof you need on hand.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-04-21 12:31:00
Middle East and North AfricaJust Got back from Jordan
Best of luck.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-04-24 09:24:00
Middle East and North Africastateside honor killings
The house where I grew up.....our street deadended into an apartment complex. When I was a teenager, we had what was later deemed an honor killing in one of those apartments. A teenage girl, killed by her father. It was so sad.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-04-24 15:37:00
Middle East and North AfricaChildren from previous marriage
It took a little while for my kids to bond with my husband as all are shy all the way around.

I planned fun things for all of us on the weekends....the Zoo, 6 flags, etc. This seemed to help the transition.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-04-30 12:04:00
Middle East and North Africastrange pm's
To the person who just PM'd me....thank you! Your words are appreciated.

I have a real life stalker....thank God he lives 1560 miles away. I don't need any in cyberspace.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-06 15:34:00
Middle East and North Africastrange pm's
There is someone harrassing the Yardie thread as well. We have Capt. Ewok on it.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-06 14:24:00
Middle East and North AfricaMENA WOMEN: What kind of jobs are your husbands doing/looking into?
QUOTE (Nutty @ Apr 22 2008, 12:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Abbas is a chemical engineer with a sub specialty in petroleum and gas.

I want him to follow his engineering career here in the USA. However, not if we have to move to some ####### area to pursue this. Like out in the middle of Texas.

Abbas, knows that chemical engineering is the best way to make some money. But his dream is to pursue skulpture and painting. He wants to open some sort of business doing base relief skulpture on people's houses. What he does not realize, this may be popular in Iran.but it would not work for houses made of wood (like the ones here in Portland, OR). It may work in New Mexico because they have a lot of adobe style buildings.

I try to encourage him to follow his dreams, but I also want him to realize that it will take baby steps.

Many foreigners think that life in USA is easy and that jobs and money fall from the trees. But that is not the case.


Amen.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-04-22 14:53:00
Middle East and North AfricaTODAY IS THE 2ND INTERVIEW FOR MY FIANCE
Please check out all options before moving. It's easier to do from here then from there.

Whatever the final outcome, I wish you many blessings in the future.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-07 12:41:00
Middle East and North AfricaME/NA ~ Changing of Lifestyles
QUOTE (Pattu Rani @ May 7 2008, 12:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jomo @ May 7 2008, 01:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm going to pipe in on this because my husband was a meat and rice kind of guy from a third world country. I am familiar with what you are talking about.

First of all, my husband has had regular medical and dental check-ups the last 2 years. He had never seen a dentist before coming to the US (he cussed me the first couple of times!) and only saw a doctor when really sick.
My husband has sickle cell and has been on regular medications the last 2 years.
I have attempted to lower the salt content when he cooks.
We have stuck to the same basic meats and fish he used to eat. They are fine.
I have attempted to add more fruits and vegetables to his diet. He would be happy with meat and rice at every meal.
I tried to switch from white rice to brown rice; but that didn't go over well at all.
I have gotten him to drink milk.


Too bad he is not a Rasta eating I-tal diet... biggrin.gif



I thank God for that. I don't think I could stand the restrictions. We got all the kids (nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters) beat one day cause his mom found out we had given them Spam. She is Rasta.....who knew there was actually pork in Spam?????????
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-07 12:54:00
Middle East and North AfricaME/NA ~ Changing of Lifestyles
I'm going to pipe in on this because my husband was a meat and rice kind of guy from a third world country. I am familiar with what you are talking about.

First of all, my husband has had regular medical and dental check-ups the last 2 years. He had never seen a dentist before coming to the US (he cussed me the first couple of times!) and only saw a doctor when really sick.
My husband has sickle cell and has been on regular medications the last 2 years.
I have attempted to lower the salt content when he cooks.
We have stuck to the same basic meats and fish he used to eat. They are fine.
I have attempted to add more fruits and vegetables to his diet. He would be happy with meat and rice at every meal.
I tried to switch from white rice to brown rice; but that didn't go over well at all.
I have gotten him to drink milk.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-07 12:48:00
Middle East and North AfricaOMG
Don't you hate that? I had this guy pull me aside and tell me how he was so much better for me then my husband. Whatever.

I think it is just sport for some guys. They see you as something more pliable then you are. Damn fools!
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-12 11:40:00
Middle East and North AfricaTrouble adjusting to life here
It is a recurring theme for many different cultures/countries. My husband has been here nearly 2 years now. We've had our good and our bad, yet dealt with it all as it came. The family and friends back home has been the most difficult for us. There were times I didn't think we might survive that; but we have and we've learned how to effectively deal with them and still maintain our sanity.

There are no set ways or absolutes in this process. Everyone deals differently. The real jewel in all this is we have a place like VJ to vent and share.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-16 15:21:00
Middle East and North AfricaPray for us with Spouses in Lebanon
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-09 14:07:00
Middle East and North AfricaUpdate in moi world
My prayers are with you. Keep the faith!
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-20 08:26:00
Middle East and North Africaopinion .Do you think it helps or hurts Mena girls when we post our drama on here about our relationships with our men?
I am about fed up with all this American woman bashing. I personally think men bash American women because they cant flippantly get away with the ####### on us that they get away with women from overseas. You really have to tow the line with an American. She may put up with some of your #######, surpress her needs and roll over and play dead for a while but after a while the YANKEE comes out and run... MF ....run


Very nice, Wahrania. Tell it, Girl!
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-27 10:34:00
Middle East and North AfricaLove and Hate...LOL and selling everything you own to move here
Congrats. I hope your life turns out to be everything you hope and dream!
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-23 22:19:00
Middle East and North AfricaJust wanted to share my news with you all!
That is wonderful new. Congrats.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-27 19:01:00
Middle East and North AfricaI think they wore us out
The hi5 part does not upset me. My husband has many old school friends in Jamaica who meet on there. He is listed as married and there are pictures of both of us on there. You situation sounds very fishy to me.

I really feel anytime there are secrets, there are problems.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-30 11:04:00
Middle East and North AfricaIgnored
QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Jun 2 2008, 01:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This forum is only for visa Qs and A's very very wrong that is NOT the only thing this is, to most of us we have made life long friends here good.gif



I agree. I've made some long term friendships on the internet. I've never understood when people say you shouldnt' care about the people you meet on these kinds of places. I've met some wonderful people.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-06-02 13:44:00
Middle East and North AfricaIgnored
QUOTE (terrie/kamal @ Jun 2 2008, 01:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Jenn, I am just making a observation why do u have to be such a b*@#%$ about it. I didn't ask for anybody to feel sorry for me. But i know i'm not the only one out there that feels the same.



My best advice is to avoid people who bother you too. It's helped me by doing so.

Please don't quit VJ. Not only can we help you;but you may be the source of something really helpful to someone else who comes after you.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-06-02 13:10:00
Middle East and North AfricaIgnored
People say this from time to time. And, I admit I feel it sometimes.

When you post on an open forum like this, sometimes you have to grow some thicker skin. You will find what you are comfortable with and go with that. Don't let the other stuff bother you.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-06-02 13:02:00
Middle East and North AfricaHump Day!!! Camel Pix Posting Day!


Happy Wednesday!
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-06-04 08:05:00
Middle East and North AfricaME/NA Discrimination
Discrimination of any kind sickens me.
*JG*FemaleJamaica2008-05-16 19:57:00