Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
US Citizenship General Discussion	Is there a way to request what day of the week to have the oath ceremony?	Make an InfoPass appointment at the USCIS office. Thank you so much. I think he should anyway, to find out about the delay (and because doing so in the past seems to have sped things up). While he's there, he can plead for an oath ceremony on a day the kids will already be with us..... I'm feeling a little better already. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2011-04-16 10:56:00
US Citizenship General Discussion	Is there a way to request what day of the week to have the oath ceremony?	It can't hurt to ask. If that office does group oaths then perhaps you can get a private ceremony scheduled. Probably has more to do with arranging the presiding judge's schedule than anything else. Thank you for answering.... How would I go about requesting? I'm not even sure exactly who does the scheduling.... Thank you! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2011-04-16 09:36:00
US Citizenship General Discussion	Is there a way to request what day of the week to have the oath ceremony?	I have a situation and don't know what to do. We're currently waiting for the oath letter and was wondering if there's any way to request what day of the week the ceremony will be on. Here's why - I have split custody with my ex, and I really want my kids to have the chance to attend my husband's (their stepfather's) oath ceremony. They really love him, and this is a big deal to all of us. The problem is my ex. If the ceremony is on one of his custody days, I guarantee he won't let me take them. I could take the matter to court, but there probably wouldn't be enough time once we know the date (he has a history of filing continuances, too, so even months of advance notice wouldn't matter). To anyone who thinks I'm exaggerating... well, I'm not. See below for details. Anyway, this is really important to us. I really want the children to go, and I don't want to take a chance that my ex will keep them from going. Is there any way to get the oath ceremony for a day the children will be with me? Does anyone happen to know if ceremonies are scheduled every day or the week, or only certain days? To make this situation even more frustrating, we've been waiting for a really long time - we sent his application in last May. I don't want to wait to get the oath letter, and then call to reschedule (if that's even possible) and delay this even longer. If it comes down to that, though, is that possible? venusfire details of the two times I asked my ex to make schedule changes: In the years since the divorce, there have only been two times I've asked my ex to switch times with me (or just let me pick the kids up for a few hours) - both times were things I couldn't schedule, and both times were important to me and my children. Once was when my mother was coming to visit - she can't afford to come here often, and so only has the chance to see her grandchildren once a year. She has to come when she can schedule time off of work, of course. I checked with my ex as soon as my mother booked her flight, which was at least 2 months ahead of time. He said yes, they could visit her, but then changed his mind the day before she got here. That was on a Friday night - nothing I could do about it except complain to my lawyer and have him write to opposing counsel after the fact. The other time was the weekend after my sister's scheduled c-section. The whole family (who is scattered all over the country) made plans to come in that weekend, and they were all stopping at my house that Saturday afternoon. I asked my ex (a few weeks before that weekend, as soon as I found out) if we could switch weekends, and he said no. I then asked if the kids could come over for an hour or two, since it's not that often the whole family gets together. Again, he said yes, but told me the night before that he had changed his mind - again, on a Friday night. Twice, my kids missed out on seeing family because he didn't want them to. Yes, he's really that mean and petty. Yes, I honestly believe he'll make my children miss the oath ceremony if it falls on his day. Actually, I'd be willing to bet my house and car on it - he'd relish the chance to ruin the day for me and my husband, without considering the fact that HIS CHILDREN would suffer for it. I would never do anything like that to my children, but I live by the saying "love your children more than you hate your ex". Too bad he can't do the same.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2011-04-16 09:13:00
US Citizenship General Discussion	N400 denied based on eligibility	So, what did interviewer say? That you filed 60 days too early or that you have to wait another year? That's what I'm wondering. I think this is something important for anyone else who finds themselves in the same sort of situation (it's just curiosity for me). It really doesn't matter how any of us interpret it, or what we can quote.... I even wonder if the same sort of case is treated differently depending on who processes the paperwork. I have no idea. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2011-08-01 14:19:00
US Citizenship General Discussion	N400 denied based on eligibility	I think OP should check and make sure before filing again. I'm no expert, so I'm not going to claim that someone canor cannot file based on 3 years of marriage to a USC even if the 'green card' came first. Maybe that's true, maybe it's not. I am fairly certain that IF the person got the 'green card' through marriage, then the 3 year rule only applies if the marriage is to THAT particular USC. Otherwise, people might come here, get married, get the 'green card', get divorced, get remarried, and then file 3 years after the marriage to the second USC (I think some DO try to do that, but are all unsuccessful). The thing is, I don't know if there's anything specifically mentioned about someone getting a 'green card' through other means and then marrying a USC. I wonder if anyone else found something that mentions that particular circumstance. For example, someone could get a 'green card' by coming as the 17 year old child of someone coming on a K-1, then get married at age 18 to a USC. Would they be eligible to apply for citizenship 3 years later? That's the question that needs to be answered for the OP: Can marriage to a USC after receiving a green card - which was not obtained through marriage to a previous USC - qualify the green card holder for the 3 year rule? If the answer is yes, then it's fine to file now. If the answer is no, then OP needs to wait until next year to file or will waste more time and money and be disappointed once again. Best of luck! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2011-07-31 12:03:00
US Citizenship General Discussion	Tax Problem for Naturlization	I would recommend keeping the envelope the tax notice came in, just to show when it was mailed. Also, if there is anything to send in the future, make sure to write a letter of explanation - that the packet was mailed the day before the notice came in the mail. I believe it says on the forms that the information given is true and correct TO THE BEST OF the mailer's KNOWLEDGE. At the time the papers were signed and mailed, there were no tax issues that OP knew about. Best of luck venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2011-08-02 16:24:00
US Citizenship General Discussion	Weird experience at Naturalization interview	One thing that isn't clear (at least to me) - is the OP and her SO from the same country? If not, then I think there will be less (or no) scrutiny. If they ARE from the same country, then it will be a little more of a battle. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2011-08-02 16:20:00
US Citizenship General Discussion	i failed the us citizenship interview today	Not having the deed of the house in your name, is not a problem IMHO as there is many married couples in the same situation....After all have you checked out how much it cost to have that deed changed?..i have and was told $500... Stuff that....im married makes no difference to me.. Not to sound paranoid, but it COULD be a problem if the person who is not on the deed is on the loan documents. Imagine if the marriage ends - then you could owe money on a property you do not own. My ex tried to get me to sign over the deeds to him (house and business property) without taking my name off the loans first. I refused to do it until there were papers signed (with lawyers involved) saying that my name would come off the loans as well. If your name is not on either deed or loan, you might not have any claims in the case of divorce. In the case of death of the person on those documents, I imagine it depends on state laws. Not an expert there, though. Hate to be a pessimist, but always protect yourself. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2010-02-11 08:50:00
US Citizenship General Discussion	i failed the us citizenship interview today	If you were included in the refinance then your name is on those documents. Was it not the mortgage to your home that was refinanced? If it was then yes you are now on the mortgage. I wonder if the OP really meant "deed". It's possible to be on the mortgage (responsible for the loan) without being on the deed (owning the property). If they wanted to see if her name is on the deed, and she thought it was, but it's not, then that would look suspicious to them (giving the wrong answer to the question). Maybe the actual question she was asked was "Is your name on the house?", and since she signed those papers, answered "yes". Maybe she even thought (which it sounds like) that her name was on the deed, but it turns out it's just on the loan papers. venusfire503	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2010-02-11 08:43:00
US Citizenship General Discussion	Registration for Selective Services System	I don't know if this is a possibility, but I'd check if I were you. IF you're still young enough to register, I'd do it NOW. Then, find out if you can still be eligible for naturalization, even if it took you a while to register. If you're "too old" to register, I don't know if there's anything you can do. Best of luck! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2012-01-24 22:08:00
US Citizenship General Discussion	Passport Filers	Filer:...............Date applied:.....City,State:........Expedited?:....Date received: Sand.................01/31/2011........San Diego,CA.......No..............02/25/2011.... F@rsc@p3.............02/18/2011........Charleston, SC.....No..............03/10/2011.... ED*Riza..............04/04/2011........Clarkesville,GA....No..............05/07/2011.... JeanneV..............04/04/2011........Tucson,AZ..........Yes.............04/12/2011.... Champi...............04/07/2011........Gastonia,NC........No..............05/06/2011.... JaTam................04/09/2011........Miami Gdns, FL.....No..............05/06/2011.... LastSurvivor.........04/15/2011........Atlanta, GA........No..............05/13/2011.... DeeBee...............04/28/2011........Seattle,WA.........Yes.............05/11/2011.... Darklady109..........05/17/2011........Albany, NY.........No..............??/??/2011.... Ricardo4eva2.........05/21/2011........Nashville, TN......No..............06/15/2011.... LKDougherty..........06/02/2011........St. Louis, MO......Yes.............06/15/2011.... Arlington............06/04/2011........Arlington, VA......Yes.............06/16/2011.... Jemmi................05/31/2011........Waldorf, MD........No..............06/25/2011.... venusfire............07/11/2011........Wayne, PA..........No..............08/01/2011 - got Certificate of Naturalization back same day in a separate mailer ($0.05 postage due - a bargain - haha)......passport card received 7/29/2011 Udella&Wiz...........07/29/2011........Cetreville,VA......Yes.............??/??/2011.... w8inglongtime......07/15/2011......... Milwaukee, WI......No....... Edited by venusfire503, 01 August 2011 - 12:16 PM.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2011-08-01 12:15:00
US Citizenship General Discussion	Passport Filers	Filer:.........................Date applied:.....City,State:...........Expedited?:....Date received: Sand........................01/31/2011........San Diego,CA.........No..............02/25/2011.... F@rsc@p3.............02/18/2011........Charleston, SC.......No..............03/10/2011.... ED*Riza..................04/04/2011........Clarkesville,GA........No..............05/07/2011.... JeanneV.................04/04/2011........Tucson,AZ................Yes.............04/12/2011.... Champi..................04/07/2011........Gastonia,NC............No..............05/06/2011.... JaTam....................04/09/2011........Miami Gdns, FL.......No..............05/06/2011.... LastSurvivor..........04/15/2011........Atlanta, GA................No..............05/13/2011.... DeeBee.................04/28/2011........Seattle,WA................Yes.............05/11/2011.... Darklady109.........05/17/2011........Albany, NY.................No...............??/??/2011.... Ricardo4eva2.......05/21/2011........Nashville, TN...........No................06/15/2011.... LKDougherty........06/02/2011........St. Louis, MO...........Yes...............06/15/2011.... Arlington................06/04/2011........Arlington, VA............Yes...............06/16/2011.... Jemmi...................05/31/2011........Waldorf, MD.............No................06/25/2011.... venusfire...............07/11/2011........ Wayne, PA...............No.......... .... passport card received 7/29/2011, still waiting on passport	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2011-07-31 12:41:00
US Citizenship General Discussion	Passport Filers	got my passport book in the mail today. still waiting on the card and the certificat. Filer:.....Date applied:.....City,State:..........Expedited?:.....Date received: Sand..........01/31/2011........San Diego,CA.........No..............02/25/2011.... F@rsc@p3......02/18/2011........Charleston, SC.......No..............03/10/2011.... ED*Riza.......04/04/2011........Clarkesville,GA......No..............05/07/2011.... JeanneV.......04/04/2011........Tucson,AZ............Yes.............04/12/2011.... Champi........04/07/2011........Gastonia,NC..........No..............05/06/2011.... JaTam.........04/09/2011........Miami Gdns, FL.......No..............05/06/2011.... LastSurvivor..04/15/2011........Atlanta, GA..........No..............05/13/2011.... DeeBee........04/28/2011........Seattle,WA...........Yes.............05/11/2011.... Darklady109...05/17/2011........Albany, NY...........No..............??/??/2011.... Ricardo4eva2..05/21/2011........Nashville, TN........No..............06/15/2011.... LKDougherty...06/02/2011........St. Louis, MO........Yes.............06/15/2011.... Arlington.....06/04/2011........Arlington, VA........Yes.............06/16/2011.... Jemmi.........05/31/2011........Waldorf, MD..........No..............06/25/2011.... venusfire....07/11/2011........ Wayne, PA............No..........	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2011-07-16 19:27:00
Canada	People who refer to a father figure as "daddy"	QUOTE (JillA @ May 20 2009, 06:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I understand what you guys are saying re: posting personal info here. I would never ask online people, "should I get a divorce" or "is my husband cheating on me?" Of course, I would talk to family and friends. Which leads me to believe, maybe people that spill their entire personal guts out don't have anyone else to talk to? In which case, I kinda feel bad for them! If they have to ask virtual strangers for help instead of real friends and family. That's why I'd never make fun of them, because maybe they have no one else Well, it could be that, and it could also be that some people don't want to get family or friends involved in something they don't understand - a relationship with a non-USC. Thank you for not making fun of them (me). I remember the reactions from everyone when I first said I was going to Morocco to meet my SO in person... you may or may not believe some of the things I heard from what I thought were mature people! It's not usually a good idea to get certain people involved anyway - that whole thing about how you can forgive your SO, but (insert mom, dad, sibling, whatever) never will. Add on their total lack of understanding about this kind of relationship - and in some cases (yes, mine) the prejudice that comes out in all its ugliness.... that's why I post here - despite some 'attacks', it seems much safer in a way. If someone here is a jerk to me, I can forget about it. If it's someone close to me, it's a little harder. I almost lost a good friend because of her reaction to my husband. Not 100% sure all the reasons I did it, but I showed up unannounced at her door one day (she always had some excuse why she couldn't meet him). I thought she was going to have a heart attack! Anyway, she was too polite not to invite us in (we live several hours away - we were in that area for an unrelated reason), and once she actually had a conversation with the two of us, she visibly relaxed. Now things are just fine, and I don't mention her initial reactions to him. OH, the mouth kissing..... YUK! My ex and I got into a big argument about that. I HATED that his dad INSISTED on kissing my kids (and his other grandchildren, all squirming to get away) on the mouth. YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My take on it is this - it's totally unnecessary (and it was so gross how he would say things like "oh yummy - give Grandpa some sugar" - EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW). Ok, here's how I won that fight. I pointed out to him (the ex) that NO ONE should be forced to hug or kiss ANYONE. If my kids don't want a hug from me sometimes, then I respect that. How in the world can you expect a child to know the difference between who "has the right" (using that term very loosely, and not meaning it at all) to force affection on them, and who doesn't? It's all about teaching your children to protect themselves. You can't expect a young child to stick up for themselves if someone is trying to do something sexual to them if they're taught that their feelings regarding "less inappropriate" affection don't count. I've taught each of my children YOUR BODY is YOUR BODY, and that NO ONE has to right to do ANYTHING to any of them that makes them uncomfortable. It was difficult enough to explain to them that there are a few unavoidable exceptions to that rule (doctors - for medical reasons, and only when a parent is in the room) without having to justify to them that so-and-so can just kiss them on the mouth or force a hug on them. Sorry if I offended anyone on this, but people's opinions are not as important to me as my children's safety and mental well being. Anyway, to the original subject - when I was still married to my other husband (don't like to refer to him as 'first' - seems like I think he's better than my 'second' one), I often used "daddy" because of the kids ("daddy's coming home"; "go tell daddy dinner is ready"). Not when I talked to him without them around - I was just referring to him in a way that would make sense to the wee ones. It is weird in a way, and my sister and I made jokes about it to each other. We also joke about how we don't have names anymore - it's usually "mom" or whatever term of endearment from the husband. Three things in one post. Guess this one hit a nerve. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-06-14 12:11:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Can crimes prevent removing of conditions?	Hi! I just wanted to let you know that my husband was cleared, and is now home. (WOOHOOOOOOO) The therapist who evaluated my daughter said she doesn't show any signs of being molested. She explained all the things they checked, and I was surprised at how many angles they used. She's now in therapy, finally. The ex doesn't have a choice about it. My husband seems to be doing all right. He's been so supportive - he understands that this has been difficult for me, too. It's not the same as what he's been through, but I feel like I've been walking a tightrope. I don't want to alienate my daughter, but still have to let her know that she can't get away with this, even at her age. My ex is in denial - his opinion is that if his daughter said it, it MUST be true. He told her that he believes her, not the polygraph. And apparently not the authorities. He actually got nasty with the social worker and therapist at the meeting when they revealed their findings. This whole thing has been so draining, emotionally and financially. I'm happy the worst is over. Now we just have to work on (as they put it) "reconstituting the family". My marriage survived this, which makes me so happy. Well, it turns out that even though the charges were "unfounded", they are still listed on a statewide registry for just over a year. Oh, yeah - the ex also claimed I was physically abusing the kids, I found out - also "unfounded" (boy, did I 'lose' a 'prize', huh?) If either of us apply for a job working with kids in this state, the employer would get a report that we were accused of abuse, but cleared. I imagine that would put us at a disadvantage compared to someone who hadn't ever been accused of anything. Anyway, I imagine this means we don't have to put anything about it on his AOS papers next year? I don't think it would prevent him from getting his 10 year card, or later his citizenship, but it would probably complicate things. Does anyone have any experience with this? Thanks for your support. Edited by venusfire503, 08 September 2008 - 09:04 AM.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-09-08 09:03:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Can crimes prevent removing of conditions?	I was going to let this thread drop, but I got good news that I wanted to pass on, and this is where everyone read about the problem in the first place. MY HUSBAND JUST PASSED A POLYGRAPH!!!!!!!! This means that he is innocent, and should be able to come home soon (as soon as the bureaucratic BS is done). It does mean that my daughter needs some serious help, though. I've known that for years, and have tried to get someone to believe me. I think now they will. I imagine IF I need to report this on his removing conditions paperwork next year (not sure if I do, since he wasn't actually charged by the police, arrested, or anything - it never left the social services agency, to my knowledge) then it will not prevent him from getting his 10 year card.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-07-14 13:54:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Can crimes prevent removing of conditions?	QUOTE (NickD @ Jul 8 2008, 01:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Could let it rest at that that I am both a jerk and a pedophile but perhaps an explanation is desirable as to why I introduced a notion that the accuser can just as well be the culprit, intentionally or none intentionally to add to that statement. I deleted most of the quote for space reasons. Well, like I said before, I was originally very riled up by your first post, and couldn't take being falsely accused of masterminding a scheme like that. I imagine it's kind of like being falsely accused of molesting someone, perhaps? I later realized that maybe you were just reacting to what you thought was going on because of something you had experienced. It sounds like you've had a rough time. I'm sorry to hear that. I understand why you reacted the way you did. I've learned through this that I can't win in this situation. I'm perceived to be either a horrible, uncaring mother, or a horrible, uncaring wife. Or both. I feel very much caught in the middle. I just want the truth to be found, and found quickly. It's hard to deal with the idea that anything like that might have happened to one of my children. If my daughter is telling the truth, I couldn't be with a man who would do that. If he is innocent, there will 'only' be relationships to mend, so that's the better outcome for all of us. She's a preteen, and I don't think she realizes the gravity of those kinds of charges. I think this thread has run its course. If it was going to continue, it shouldn't be here anymore. Thanks again to everyone for their help. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-07-08 18:02:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Can crimes prevent removing of conditions?	QUOTE (AussieDude @ Jul 8 2008, 12:38 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> On immigration matters: * You don't have to do anything until the time comes to remove conditions as far as I know. The only things you inform USCIS, before removal of conditions is an address change, as far I know * If he's innocent, and is not charged/convicted/detained/etc, you won't have to do anything different * If he's charged, but later acquitted (for whatever reason), you will have to report it, but may not weigh as heavily on the removal of conditions * If he's charged and found guilty, he will most likely not be able to remove his conditions, and probably will have to leave the country once his conditional status expires. In this case, you probably won't be financially liable for him once he's left the country This is my opinion of course, and should not count as legal advice. That makes sense. Thank you so much! I'll get the legal advice if and when I need to, but it's somehow helpful to gather information right now. Maybe because it's the only thing I can really do at this point. We're still waiting to find out if child services will even send the case to the police. Many thanks to all who have helped and supported me with this.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-07-08 17:41:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Can crimes prevent removing of conditions?	QUOTE (NickD @ Jul 7 2008, 11:02 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> There are boards that deal with sexual abuse issues and this is not one of them. Never said that sexual abuse was not to be taken lightly, it's a very serious crime where immigration in this instance is of a secondary nature. If I am entitled to any sort of opinion on this subject, feel this is not the board to discuss such matters, this is an immigration board, not a sexual abuse board. And sure the USCIS will take appropriate action depending on the outcome of your case. And such outcomes are best dealt with a competent immigration attorney. And again regarding immigration, if it's learned that your husband is indeed a pedophile, do you really want him hanging around? Again, you don't have to answer that. Well, that was part of my frustration - I was trying to focus on getting an answer to my question about removing conditions, and everyone else seemed to be trying to pry information about the situation out of me, and take sides. I do need to know if I'm required to report anything now or anytime soon. We did know and remember to send in a change of address form for him when we moved, for instance. We're not due to file to remove conditions until next year. Do I need to do anything before then? I know people have their opinions on what I should do, think, or focus on right now. I think I'm the only one who has the right to decide what's right for me and my situation. Of course I don't want anyone abusing my daughter. My husband does not have any contact now with any of my children, so they're safe in any case. But I don't want to condemn him without any proof either (imagine the effect on my marriage if I turned my back on him and then he was cleared of any wrongdoing). I made the mistake of posting when I was too stressed and too tired. I was attempting to be as neutral as possible, and just provide enough information to give an accurate picture to people so they could answer my questions. I didn't want someone assuming he was accused of a level 3 offense, since I expect that would have a different outcome than the misdemeanor she accused him of. He hasn't been arrested or detained. From what I was told today, no charges have been filed against him, and the case hasn't even been turned over to the police. Social services is still investigating and deciding if the case has enough merit to pursue it with the police department. That wasn't explained to me before. I'm only trying to get straight answers about what to expect. It's something I feel the need to do. I just replied to another post and will repeat this part. If he's innocent, I want to know what impact if any this will have on his status. If he's guilty, could I be stuck financially supporting him long term? By the way, you sound like a completely different person in this post.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-07-07 23:21:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Can crimes prevent removing of conditions?	[/quote] Hugs for you. It's a really big topic, tragic. I know you were asking for information about removing conditions. It's a bit early for that perhaps. I know you're concerned about that, but wait until this huge mess has been straightened out. Take time for you, and your kids right now. Don't worry about blaming anyone. Let the professionals find out what happened. They're trained to do so. The best thing you can do right now, is to take care of you and your family. I hope you have a girlfriend that can lend support. You need a lot of support right now, and I'm sorry if you feel I was beating you down. It was not my intention. Slow down...take it a day at a time...be kind to yourself...talk about removing conditions later. [/quote] Thank you so much for this post, and the PM. I am letting the professionals find out. It's hard to deal with all of this. I love both my daughter and my husband, and on top of it feel like I'm under a microscope, and being attacked from 'both sides' - people who have been abused, and people who have been falsely accused. Like I mentioned earlier, I've seen what happens in both cases. I had my children taken from me, and had to tell my husband to leave so I could get them back. I also had to get scrutinized by the social worker this morning (worth it - the kids are back home now), which was not pleasant. I'm trying to emotionally support them both right now - I don't want to chose sides. I was hurt by the comments from NickD, but later it occured to me that maybe he was the victim of false accusations in the past, or was tricked into making false accusations when he was a child, or maybe has reasons to be overly sensitive when he thinks someone is just trying to discard someone they brought here. I've heard that happens. Anyway, I didn't put my daughter up to anything. I was totally blindsided when she said what she did. I love my husband very much, and only something like harming my children would make me send him away. NickD, if you were being a jerk, then shame on you. If this situation opens emotional wounds for you, then my sincere apologies. Carlawarla, I'm sorry if I sounded harsh to you. I've had to be so strong for everyone around me, my future is uncertain, and I haven't been able to sleep or eat for about a week now. I missed my kids, and now I miss my husband. No matter what the outcome, this whole situation will have quite a bit of fallout, and my finances will be drained. My family will take a long long time to recover, and there will likely be permanent damages. This is very stressful and depressing. Anyway, the reason I'm focusing (and just on VJ, by the way) on the immigration issue is so I can brace myself for what could happen. I would hope that if he's innocent, it won't ruin his residency. I would also hope that a woman would not be responsible for supporting a man (and for quite a long time) if he molests her daughter. Does that make sense? Also, sometimes I just need to look in another direction and focus on some other aspect of this. It's partly curiosity. Mainly a coping mechanism.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-07-07 22:52:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Can crimes prevent removing of conditions?	QUOTE (Carlawarla @ Jul 7 2008, 08:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I can sympathize with your dilemma, however I'm very surprised, given your own history that you're questioning your husband's intentions. You said "It's part of my job as a mother - I bring up health and safety topics with all of my children." It's your job as a mother to believe your children as well when they tell you something. Interesting at how this played out, your children had to leave? Until this is all straightened out, it's your husband that needed to leave. The first two damaging emotional abuses after an allegation is made is #1, the Mother makes 101 excuses why the daughter might be lying, or rationalizes the behaviour of her husband. #2, the children are removed from the home. (ie. many sexual abusers tell their vicitims that if they ever say anything about the abuse, they (the victim) will be sent away, maybe to a foster home, and that their Mother's will not believe them). So, I'd say at present, you need support for you and your children, not support for your husband. If it all comes out that it didn't happen, I would suggest a good family counsellor that can talk about boundaries, and appropriate touching. Your children need to be empowered to tell anyone to stop touching them when they're uncomfortable, whether it's sexual or not. It also does not matter whether she was clothed or not, it doesn't matter whether it was between her legs, or on her breasts. Stop rationalizing. I don't believe you ever said how old your daughter is, as well as the other children. Peodeophilia can only be diagnosed by a professional, and it only implies men who prefer and are sexually aroused and interested in children. I mentioned that I often bring up safety issues with my kids. Part of that has always been to tell people when they cross boundaries. I even told my daughter she has the right to tell people if they stand too close for her comfort. I did it because I always do, not because of any suspicions. The conversation I had with my kids was weeks before any accusations were made. I really don't know what to believe. I told my daughter I would help her, and didn't accuse her of lying. I did not make them leave. They went to their father's house as part of the normal custody schedule. He got social services to call me to tell me they couldn't come back until I went to talk with the agency. It wouldn't have mattered what I did - I have to talk with them first, which is scheduled this morning. I never would send my kids away. I don't have any proof that my husband did anything, but he left anyway. I'm not rationalizing it if he did do anything. If he did, he's gone for good. I believe we all need help right now. I'm crushed. My kids are probably confused. My daughter was either molested, or has a serious problem that led her to falsely accuse my husband. My husband is devastated if he's innocent, and needs some kind of help if he's guilty. I am really getting sick of trying to defend myself. This is a forum about removing conditions, and that's all I really wanted to discuss here.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-07-07 08:19:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Can crimes prevent removing of conditions?	QUOTE (NickD @ Jul 7 2008, 08:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> My husband has been accused of a crime that I believe he did not commit. By what authority? And exactly whom is the accuser? It sounds like you already put your husband in jail, being charged as a pedophile is a very serious crime when you state no charges have been filed yet and there was no conviction in a court of law. There are cases where the accuser has ended up locked up for making false charges creating all kinds of havoc by accusing innocent people of being a pedophile that I am presently as a third possibility as the investigations for charges of this type are very long, extensive, and expensive to the tax payer. So in cases like yours, could be your husband is a pedophile, your daughter wants to get rid of him, or maybe you do. What I find disturbing about your post, you are not following the steps by talking to your attorney and ready talking about hiring an attorney for your husband. The proper steps are to inform social workers first that are trained to make a full investigation followed by a complete psychiatric evaluation of all the parties involved, and this includes not only the suspected culprit, but the suspected victim, and the accuser as well. I agree with AussieDude, immigration is not even in the picture at this stage of the game until your husband is found guilty in a court of law with plenty of evidence to prove he is guilty. This a felony charge and you don't even have to be concerned about immigration, that will be taken care of for you. On the other hand, if your accusations are found to be false, you may find yourself in jail and your own daughter will disown you for what you put her through. By any chance were you the victim of a pedophile at an early age? Course you don't have to answer any of these question, it's none of our business, but since you brought your concerns to this board, immigration at this point is not your key issue. Whoa - did you read what I wrote? I didn't accuse him of anything. In my original post I stated that my daughter accused him. I also mentioned that it's being dealt with by social workers, etc. He will be going to the police to be interviewed. I don't know if any charges have been filed by child services or not. I said I talked to my attorney already. He suggested I get an attorney for my husband. He also suggested I ask my husband to leave unless/until he's cleared. Where do you get off accusing me of putting my daughter through anything? I didn't accuse anyone of anything. If she's lying, I suspect my ex of putting her up to this, if anything (he's been trying to gain full custody and just happened to get married recently to his live in girlfriend). I've listened to both my daughter and my husband, and have been supportive of both. She HAS talked with social services, he is getting a lawyer, and MY objective is ONLY to get to the truth. Please actually READ what I've already posted. I also mentioned that people did things to me when I was younger (nothing extreme), and I also know people (one very close to me) who have been falsely charged and saw how it affected them (one lost his job, even though he was cleared, and almost lost his house). I think that makes me as sympathetic as possible to both of them. Also keep in mind that, no matter the outcome of this, my life is being pulled apart right now. My kids have been taken from me (I hope to get them back today). Even if my husband is cleared, things will never be the same. The way you rambled on (much of it not making sense) makes me wonder if YOU are a pedophile. In any case, I think it's highly insensitive for you to write such rude comments to me when I'm in such a situation, and just asking for some information to help me cope.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-07-07 07:59:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Can crimes prevent removing of conditions?	QUOTE (AussieDude @ Jul 7 2008, 12:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You do have to mention any arrests/convictions on the removal of conditions petition. Once again, these aren't automatically grounds for refusing removal of conditions, but this depends very much on the reason for arrest/conviction. Looking at two extremes, if someone was arrested for wrong identity for example, they may not care about that. However, if someone was convicted of smuggling drugs/violent crime/sex offenses etc, that will probably make it next to impossible to remove conditions. I don't want to pass judgment on your case, I don't think its our place to get involved in the specifics. However, my opinion is that you should deal with the matter at hand first, and worry about your husband's immigration issues later. Thank you again for the information. My husband was not arrested - he just was asked to go in for questioning. The detective was gone for the weekend by the time we returned his call, so that will be happening today, I imagine. I'm glad you said that - I didn't want to get into the specifics of the case, but it seems that it's human nature to want to know details before giving advice. I'm sure I do the same thing, at least sometimes.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-07-07 06:34:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Can crimes prevent removing of conditions?	I guess I'm going to have to give a little more of the details. I think people are imagining much more happened than what she said happened. My daughter did NOT say that my husband touched her between the legs or anything like that - it was just a general "rubbed with his hands while hugging" kind of thing she described. To me, yes that could mean something sexual, or it could just mean innocent affection. That is what I've seen him do (rubbing someone's shoulders, for example), and also have done myself - my kids generally like being innocently caressed. That was what my lawyer said will make this case so hard to resolve - it comes down to his intent/thoughts. It also means (IMHO) that it's possible neither of them are lying - he wasn't thinking anything sexual, but she was uncomfortable. Thank you so much for the information, AussieDude. I know immigration is something I can deal with later, but it's somehow helpful to just get the facts. I'm also gathering information on custody, etc. It makes it feel a little less that my whole life is spiralling out of control.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-07-07 06:28:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Can crimes prevent removing of conditions?	I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. It sounds like you had a very rough time - worse than I did, although getting over it... well, do we ever? My children are at their father's house. I need to go to talk to child services tomorrow, and I hope to get them back. They were originally supposed to come back on Friday. My husband agreed to leave, even though he maintains his innocence. So I'm alone, and the kids are nowhere near my husband. The divorce lawyer I mentioned was for my divorce from my first husband. I work for him (the lawyer, of course) part time now. He also does criminal law, but we agreed I would seek other counsel for this. Oh, I mentioned the clothing thing because I didn't know if there were different answers depending on the severity of the allegations (for example, rape vs. indecent exposure, neither of which apply here). I just googled it, and it seems there are different 'levels'. My lawyer/boss said, based on what my daughter told me, that if convicted, my husband would only be charged with a misdemeanor. I don't remember the 'name' of the offense he gave me, but I'm sure I'll be learning more than I ever cared to about this soon enough. I really don't want to get into details about the case. Even though people don't know my name, I don't want to violate our privacy any more than necessary (I'm already saying more than I'd like). It's all in the hands of others now - child services, the police, and the lawyers. Let me just clarify that I did not neglect my daughter - I was supportive before she left, and the one time I got to talk with her on the phone. I just listened to what she said, and told her I would help her. Like I said before, things happened to me in the past too. One of the reasons I hope he's innocent is that I hope my daughter wasn't actually molested! I don't have any control over this. All I can do is talk to the people I have to talk to, be there for my kids if and when I can see or talk with them again, and pray for the best. The only way I can get any sense of ... I don't know what ... is to find out as much as I can so there are no more surprises. My point of posting was to find out the facts about what will possibly happen. If he's found innocent, will there be any repercussions anyway as far as the law (like registering) and immigration? Will USCIS have issue with the temporary separation? If he's guilty, what happens then? I don't know if he'd be deported or not, or when. If he's not, am I still responsible for him? Do I have any say about it? In either case, what are my requirements about notifying immigration? I hope, now that I had a few more days to get over the initial shock of this, that I'm making a little more sense. If not, it could be the lack of sleep, lack of appetite, and constant crying.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-07-06 22:16:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Can crimes prevent removing of conditions?	I'm still reeling from all of this. I wonder, if it turns out that he did do something, what can I do? Would he still be able to stay in the country, and would I still be financially responsible for him? I pray that I'm right about all of this, and that he's innocent. For so many reasons. My daughter was mad (about not getting her way) at us (and especially him) when she made the accusation. I had asked her several times in the past (even years before I met my husband) if anyone had ever touched her, and she always said no. It's part of my job as a mother - I bring up health and safety topics with all of my children. I never had any suspicions, and saw nothing to suggest that anything inappropriate was going on. She didn't try to avoid him or act afraid or uncomfortable around him. Things happened to me when I was young, so I know these things happen, and am very sensitive about this. I also know people (one was very close to me) who have been falsely accused (they were cleared). I know how devastating it is in both situations. I'm trying not to take sides, and I'm trying to wait to see how things turn out. I hope that the truth is discovered.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-07-06 07:10:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Can crimes prevent removing of conditions?	I have talked with both of them. There are several reasons I find it hard to believe her which I'd rather not post. Anyway, it's all up to the authorities and God at this point. I just want to know what to expect. I have other sources for my other questions, but just wanted to know if anyone else had any experience or knowledge with this particular part of the problem. If he's found guilty, would he definitely or just possibly be deported? Now, or when we would file to remove conditions? Are we required to report it right away, and if so, on what form? If he's found innocent, would I have to mention this to USCIS on any forms? Could our living apart temporarily cause any problems? My lawyer said I should declare that we are separated unless/until he's cleared. I'm just in shock right now, and gathering as much information about all possible outcomes is my way of dealing with the situation.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-07-05 06:24:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Can crimes prevent removing of conditions?	My husband has been accused of a crime that I believe he did not commit. I've never encountered anything like this before, but I do know that sometimes innocent people are convicted. There are so many things on my mind right now. My divorce lawyer said I need to make him leave the house until the matter is resolved or I could lose custody of my kids from my first marriage. I'm trying to reach a lawyer for him, and one for me (for custody). I hope this is resolved quickly, and that he is found innocent. The quick summary is that my daughter accused my husband of touching her inappropriately while she was completely clothed. I don't have proof, but I'm sure that her father put her up to it (he's been trying to take full custody). On top of everything else, I happened to wonder today if he is convicted could he be turned down next year when he applies to remove conditions (get his 10 year card)? Will it look bad if I have to tell USCIS that we lived apart for a time, and why? My lawyer said he thinks it will be difficult for a case to be made against him if we go to court, but if so, he could get probation and possibly a few months in jail. It would be a misdemeanor, but I'm not sure if he'd have to register as a sex offender. This whole thing is just turning my stomach. I can't eat or sleep, and my husband is devastated.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-07-04 21:38:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	ROC interview	QUOTE (Mrs_S @ Oct 3 2008, 01:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> This post has a description of a recent interview: http://www.visajourn...howtopic=147545 Thank you! I hope they're all that easy (yeah, right...)	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-10-03 13:05:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	ROC interview	We will be filing for ROC in a few months, and since we didn't have an interview for his AOS; 1 - we heard we might be more likely to have an interview for ROC 2 - we have no idea what to expect Does anyone want to share their experiences of what an ROC interview is like (what's asked, etc)? Is it similar to what I read about the AOS interview? I know it's still early, but I like to gather as much information as possible and have time to 'digest' it. I also want time to be prepared in case it happens. We probably don't have to worry, since we live together, have joint accounts, lots of pictures, bought a house together, etc. - we have plenty of proof. And if possible, I think taking one or two of the children with us to the interview would be nice since the two younger ones tend to gravitate toward him (their stepfather) and would probably be convincing enough on their own! I tried to find something in the Guides - maybe I missed something. I read that an interview is a possibility, and even saw a post about reasons an interview might be required. I just haven't seen anything about what happens in an ROC interview. Thanks!	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2008-10-03 12:19:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	Any Moroccan traveled with I 751 before ?	I would also be interested in hearing about this. We'll be sending in our ROC paperwork before the end of the month. We were hoping to go visit his family in Morocco next year since we probably can't go this year. From what I've seen, getting the 10 year card takes about 9 -12 months or more. I'd rather not put it off possibly until 2011 if others have gone without a problem with the extension. Anyone? Thanks	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-04-05 19:50:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	tax returns	[/quote] "I think I'll just file a lame return and send an amended return later." You got it!! [/quote] In case anyone else is in the same situation - I just checked, and (supposedly, at least) filing an amended return will not increase your chances of being audited. So, off to file my lame return now (I know I'll find deductions later that I don't have time to find now). Thanks everyone! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-04-10 11:22:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	tax returns	QUOTE (Bituin @ Apr 10 2009, 02:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Just send your 2007 tax returns with W2'S or transcripts from IRS (if you have them) along with the other evidence.Don't worry too much and I would say that your evidence looks great.Add your drivers licenses showing same home address.You should be fine Good luck! Good idea - especially since we both have our old address on the licenses, and both have update cards (not all states do that apparently, but PA does) with the new address. Both licenses and updates fit on one page, too. It will help 'explain' why some of our old bills and statements have a different address, too. I can also send our 2008 W2s, too - didn't think of that! I imagine if I sent those along with a copy of the tax filing extension form, that at least shows something. Then again, maybe that will 'cause' an RFE???? I think I'll just file a lame return and send an amended return later. Thanks! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-04-10 09:59:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	tax returns	Well, the thing is... I'm most likely going to have to file for an extension, and I don't know when I'll actually be able to get my taxes done. I have a bunch of really important things going on right now (in the midst of a custody battle - don't want to lose my kids, trying to update my resume, finishing up school, hoping to look for a job...) and my taxes this year are much more complicated than in the past (we bought a house last year, and I never itemized before - and you don't want to see the box I have all the receipts thrown in....). I'm a little overwhelmed and stressing right now. If I hear from someone that the 2008 taxes aren't necessary, I can relax just a little, at least for now. If I really DO need them, I was thinking of filing a 'regular' return, and later filing an amended return when I actually have the time to sit down and dig out receipts and all the information I need to itemize (which is why even getting someone else to do the taxes isn't an option right now). venusfire P.S. We do have joint taxes for 2007, our car title, deed to the house, pictures, bank statements, bills, life insurance and retirement accounts showing each other as beneficiary, personal mail addressed to both of us, and even some newspaper articles that feature the two of us Edited by venusfire503, 09 April 2009 - 11:31 PM.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-04-09 23:27:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	tax returns	We're currently gathering everything for our ROC paperwork (his card expires mid-July). I was just wondering about taxes. We filed (jointly) for 2007, but haven't done our 2008 returns yet. I will most likely have to file an extension, since I'm not close to being done. Since the earliest we can mail our paperwork (the 90 day period) isn't until after April 15, will they require the 2008 returns, or can we just skip them since we have the 2007 ones? Will they accept an extension to file instead? Even if I get our taxes done on time, I probably can't get a transcript for a while, right? Or can I just send a copy of the return? I'm considering just filing a return knowing I'll need to amend it later. I'm not looking for tax advice (I don't want to get into all the details about why I'll have to file an amended return - nothing illegal, just not relevant). I just need to know if I need to send the 2008 return or transcript. Will we get an RFE if I don't? If so, then I'll have to figure out what will delay things more - waiting until I get the taxes done and receive a transcript to send the paperwork, or send it without the taxes and get an RFE... Does anyone have any experience with sending paperwork soon after April 15? Thanks venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-04-09 20:05:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	the 90 day notice might have been sent to previous address	QUOTE (poochie @ Apr 10 2009, 01:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Thanks for the response, venus! I've lived all my life in California, we moved but within the same block/street, updated USCIS about that as well. The I-751 was for my husband.. I'm not sure what to think either. This is worrying me a bit. But I shouldn't sweat the small stuff, right? it's too early to worry I guess. Sorry for hijacking your thread by the way. If anyone has a guess, please let me know. Don't worry about hijacking the thread - my question was answered, and it brought up other questions. Makes sense to me to write about what you need to know! I was happy for you to hear that the letters just come from VSC even if the couple needs to file at CSC - that must ease your mind! Good luck! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-04-10 14:38:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	the 90 day notice might have been sent to previous address	[/quote] Now I am a bit worried. We submitted our I-751 to CSC per instructions and we received the notice/reminder to remove conditions from Vermont, does that mean our file is in Vermont? This doesn't sound good. Anyone knows? [/quote] Did you move? Maybe you used to be in the part of the country where you'd have to send to VSC, but now you're in the part that sends to CSC? I dunno.... Good luck venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-04-10 12:25:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	the 90 day notice might have been sent to previous address	QUOTE (~krakatoa~ @ Apr 10 2009, 12:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> It has your A#. I have scanned my notice for you. I removed personal info. Thank you SO much! It's good to know there wasn't anything more in there. I don't imagine anyone can do anything with a name and A#. Most people probably have no clue what they are anyway. Feeling more relaxed now. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-04-10 11:24:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	the 90 day notice might have been sent to previous address	QUOTE (Arazia @ Apr 10 2009, 12:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (venusfire503 @ Apr 10 2009, 11:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Well, what kind of information is in the reminder notice? Any kind of personal information that we wouldn't want total strangers to have? Thanks venusfire Not that I recall. It doesn't have any identifying numbers, just your name really. Then again, I don't have it in front of me. I hope you're recalling correctly! Thanks venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-04-10 11:13:00
Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion	the 90 day notice might have been sent to previous address	QUOTE (Arazia @ Apr 10 2009, 12:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (venusfire503 @ Apr 10 2009, 10:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I heard that CSC doesn't send them, but we're going to send to VSC, which does. I just want to make sure there's no personal information in the letter (ss#, A#, whatever) that could cause problems if someone else got the letter. Anyone? Thanks venusfire I got a reminder notice from CSC. So it's not just VSC sending them. Well, what kind of information is in the reminder notice? Any kind of personal information that we wouldn't want total strangers to have? Thanks venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-04-10 11:06:00