Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
Middle East and North Africa	car insurance in Morocco	anyone?	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-05-05 13:32:00
Middle East and North Africa	car insurance in Morocco	I was wondering about car insurance for rentals in Morocco. We rented a car for the first time in Morocco when we went last year. First we made sure to get a credit card that would cover insurance if we used it for the rental. Then my husband ended up finding a place near his family that had reasonable rates, and even picked us up at the airport AND took us back. The only thing is, they didn't take credit cards, just cash. I was concerned, though, because I didn't think our auto insurance would cover a rental in Morocco. And I wasn't able to contact the company from there because of phone connection problems. Anyway, we lucked out - nothing happened to the car or anything. When we got back, I found out that we weren't covered. Don't want to go through that again! My husband never drove before he got here, so he never had any kind of car insurance there. I was just wondering if anyone knows of a way to get a rental car insured when we're there? We'd love to use the same car rental company next time if possible, but don't want to chance something happening to the car. Is there a company here or there that will insure cars rented there? venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-04-24 23:24:00
Middle East and North Africa	Anyone have problems with age gaps in Casa interview	QUOTE (JayandZou @ May 5 2009, 09:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Venusfire...That's interesting that your fiance took YOUR passport into the interview with him. I'm going to Morocco tomorrow and my fiance's interview is next Wed so maybe I should give him my passport to take in with him too? It shows I'm in Morocco but I never like to be without my passport. I've been to Morocco 4 times before the K1 packet was sent and 2 times after. I hope that will help us... and we have all the evidence. I'm also older than him. He speaks great English so I think that's a positive too. Keep good thought for us PLEASE! Wishing everyone tons of good luck to be reunited with your beloved mates ASAP. All my best, Jayme Jayme, Oh, I'm sure it wasn't necessary, but he asked for it, so I gave it to him (I was standing outside). I honestly never asked him if he ever took it out of his pocket and showed the interviewer or not. I also wonder if he did it partly to keep it from getting stolen - he usually carried it in his pocket whenever we left his parents' house. I guess he figured no one would think to 'lift' a passport from a Moroccan in Morocco. No one would probably expect him to have an American's passport in his pocket, either. He's protective of me. I think all of your visits are helpful as evidence. Yes, I also think that good English helps, too. My husband's English was fine by the interview, and he said something about that helping. You must be SO excited! I really hope to see a post from you soon saying he got the visa! It might not be the day of the interview, but it could be soon after (his was 6 days later). Best of luck! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-05-10 23:08:00
Middle East and North Africa	Anyone have problems with age gaps in Casa interview	Yeah, there's really no way to know how things will turn out. A quick summary for us is in my 'signature'. We only knew each other 7 months before he got his visa, but I also went to visit him twice before we sent the K1 packet, and again for his interview (he took my passport in with him). I'm 11 years older than he is; he was never married, I was divorced; different religions and all that... I have three kids; didn't know Arabic or French, but his English was decent.... somehow it all worked out for us. We sent an average sized K1 packet, I guess, but then he took a whole bunch of stuff to the interview. I think our prayers helped quite a bit. I wish you a smooth journey. Best of luck! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-05-05 13:15:00
Middle East and North Africa	need advice	I think that sometimes they get overwhelmed and maybe for that moment, think that the only way to deal with stress is to get away from it. Think about it - everyone at least once in their lives runs into a stressful situation that is too much to deal with and we wonder if we'll ever make it through. Some people commit suicide, some turn to drugs, alcohol, or some other harmful behavior. Some blow their top. Some actually walk away from the situation. I'm sure sometimes we think of it, too, if only for a moment. But we're already in our home country, and most of us I think have learned to keep the thoughts to ourselves. These MENA men's mistake is saying it out loud and emotionally hurting us. I really believe that my husband sometimes projects/transfers his frustration onto me because the marriage IS the reason he's here dealing with all the stress he didn't have before. Not that I had any idea (neither did he) how challenging it would be, and it's not like I purposely put him into a stressful situation, but I am the reason he's in it. I had two choices in my mind - deal with things they way they were, or figure out the reason for his behavior and try to help him deal with it. When I take a moment to realize how much he's going through, and remember how much he means to me (and how wonderful he is at least 95% of the time), it's easier to make the decision to put forth more effort. I read something once about how we can't change someone else's behavior, but we can change the way we react. As someone else on this thread mentioned, it takes two people to form the pattern. We might not think it's 'fair' because it's not our 'fault' or our behavior that is the problem, and that HE is the one who should change. That may or not be true, but it's not going to make anything better. If you love your man and want to stop this cycle, the only thing you can really do is creatively think of things to do differently. Then it's all up to him how he will react. If things get better, it's well worth the effort. If not, then you can decide if you want to try something else, keep tolerating it the way it is, or send him on his way. A good relationship takes work, and PLENTY of patience. I've tried different things. The first, and least effective, was to try to talk with him when he was being unreasonable. That almost always escalated things, especially since I tended to get upset as well. Even when I stayed calm, the more I talked, the more overwhelming it was and the more upset he got. I think he needs time to think things through, and who can do that with someone talking? I tried ignoring him, which is unbelieveably hard for me, and I wasn't very successful at it. Now I try (but I admit I sometimes resort to doing stupid things - I'm far from perfect) to make a calm statement like "no, you don't hate me, you love me. I love you too. Let me know when you calm down and are ready to talk" and then walking away. It will take a few tries to find the right thing to say. I sometimes push it by giving him a quick kiss on the head (he's almost always sitting at the computer, staring at the screen) before I walk away. Yes, I often then go upstairs and cry to myself. At the time, I usually wonder if I can do this any longer. I'm learning that if I leave him alone and don't make nasty comments back or keep talking, it blows over quickly, and he will apologize. I repeat that it really hurts me when he says he's going to leave. He feels bad about it, and he is getting better about not doing it. Things have definitely improved. Now he's more likely to stay reasonable. I'm impressed with his progress sometimes. Also, I've learned to sense when he's getting overwhelmed and ask him if he's ok or whatever to try to avoid problems. We also both try to get him away before he gets overwhelmed. If he doesn't find some excuse to go run errands or whatever, I'll find something I "need" at the store, and he's almost always willing to go. I've even gotten to the point where I can tell him that I can tell he's getting crabby and maybe he can go shopping or to see a movie or something. The first few times, it didn't go well, but now he'll usually agree with me. Oh, and sometimes I find it easier to go somewhere instead, or find something to keep me busy. If I leave him alone when he's starting to seem frustrated, and just check in with him every once in a while, he'll usually miss me and come looking for me. It's not easy, but with lots of love and the support of friends, it gets easier. Try to do what you can (depending on what you're willing to do) and see if there is improvement. Saying mean things is unacceptable, but sometimes we can choose to accept some things temporarily. Dealing with physical abuse, for example, is a different story. My SO doesn't do anything like that, and I wouldn't put up with it if he did. Best of luck! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-05-10 18:22:00
Middle East and North Africa	need advice	QUOTE (sara535 @ May 8 2009, 11:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Confused, my husband and I had a lot of these same issues the first year or two he was here, and I can tell you what helped me a lot was to understand that due to his upbringing, my husband had VERY limited experience with relationships. He'd never really had a girlfriend, certainly not in the way that we in the west have relationships, and his parents really didnt set a good model at all. I had already been through a couple of long term relationships and had learned so much about getting along with another and all of that, lessons that he simply had never had the opportunity to learn. He didnt know how to 'choose the battles', he didnt understand the concept of sometimes 'stepping over things', or agreeing to disagree, or even compromise and sacrifice for that matter. When I started to look at it that way and understand things from his eyes, I was able to back up a little and try some different tactics and finally we found some much better ways to communicate and work it out. Between that and just the time it takes to settle in and work his way up the work ladder a little, things will get better for you. My suggestion is try not to take it so personally and consider that possibly he just lacks the emotional and communication 'tools' to identify and express his frustrations and he might just need a little help. My husband has been here more than 4 and a half years now and as I am writing this and thinking about those first couple of years its almost like it was someone else - its SO much different and improved now. Sara, I agree 100%. It really is difficult - many adjustments to make. Especially when, as you said, they don't have past relationships to help them learn how to deal with things. Every situation is different. My poor husband stepped into instant daddy status with my three children, who were dealing with the divorce of their parents not long before. He's also dealing with difficulty finding work, which I know bothers him (he wants to be a man and support me and my children). Then there's my ex, who can't seem to leave me alone. I know everyone says it's not my husband's problem, but he HATES to see me upset, and HATES when people are disrespectful to me. I can tell it really kills him to see me go through this stuff. Yes, it's heartbreaking to me when he threatens to leave, or even says he wants to stay in a hotel for the night (which is better than when he threatened before to leave permanently). Many people wouldn't understand it, especially all my friends and family members who are involved with Americans, not people from other countries. So, it's not just that he gets upset, but that I don't feel I can talk with anyone about it. I have talked with him about it when he's calm - told him how much it upsets me, and he told me to just leave him alone when he blows up. It actually helps quite a bit. I used to get all depressed, and made it worse without realizing it - I'd follow him around and keep trying to talk with him. That's when it really got bad. Now I go upstairs and leave him alone, and he almost always comes after me within 1/2 hour, apologizing. Or he'll leave and drive around for a little, then come home. I know it's not fair to have to walk on eggshells, and it's very stressful to me. However, I must say that most of the time, I couldn't be happier. Never in my life has someone cared so deeply about me, and appreciated me so much. I'm a very clingy kind of person, and my husband is too. We've spent most of the last 2+ years around each other, day and night, and most people are surprised we haven't killed each other by now. This is such a wonderful thing after my first marriage - to a cold, distant person who didn't want to spend time with me. I've seen the difference over the past year (the beginning was actually kind of easy, but then it got really bad for a while) - we still have some problems now and then, but we're learning how to deal with it. I still cry sometimes when he gets upset, but I'm realizing to just remember that it'll blow over. And since I don't stand next to him and try to 'fix' things by talking, it rarely blows up into anything. He gets upset, I leave him alone, and it ends quickly. It's wonderful and comforting to know that others have been there, and gotten through it. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that helps. Oh, and not to 'excuse' the behavior (as much as I love my husband, I really wish he had a different way to deal with things than threaten to go away), but I think the hurt in my eyes and on my face bothers him and makes it even harder for him to stay rational. I went through a period in my life when I had more stress than I could handle, and I used to blow up sometimes. Knowing how irrational and unfair I was being made me feel very guilty (and rightfully so), but the guilt made the pressure more intense, and it was a vicious cycle at times. That's why: 1 - I'm so patient with my husband (I've been there, I understand, I am sure he can also find a better way to react - he's already doing much better); 2 - I do my best to talk things through with him when he's calm, and ask him how he's doing, etc. Everyone has to decide for themselves what's worth it, and what's not. I think that the OP, like me, just sometimes needs someone to talk with about all of this. The worst part of going through the adjusting period is not having anyone to talk to. I know I can't really discuss things with anyone I know - they don't get it, and I also don't want people to think badly of him. And also, as much as I love my friends and family, they are too quick to say to just walk away. I don't want to do that, for many reasons. Best of luck to everyone with their adjustments. I hope we can all figure out how to fix things to make it work, or know if it's time to walk away. venusfire P.S. I also was thinking... I know there's a yahoo group for women married to MENA men, who need someone to talk to. I was wondering if there is, or if someone would want to start, a group for the MENA men who come here. I don't think my husband would want to do it - it seems to be against the way MENA men do things. And I honestly don't know how it would work out. The person I am, though, I wonder if they all had other men to talk to, to see they aren't alone, if it would help them feel a little better.... (I hope that doesn't open a can of worms)	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-05-08 11:49:00
Middle East and North Africa	Happy Thursday everyone!	This is my first time writing to welcome a new day. Today is my little angel's 6th birthday! I checked my bank account, and our check was cashed for the I-751 - yay! I hope everyone has a wonderful day. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-05-14 00:01:00
Middle East and North Africa	The MENA "Let's discuss religion and our own personal belief" thread	About this different or same God part of the conversation.... my sister brought that up, too. Here's how I look at it. Not to put myself in God's place AT ALL, but just for simplicity's sake of explanation - if someone wanted to ask who I am, they would get different answers from different people. My children would say I'm mommy, and probably mention something about how old I am, or whatever. My husband would say I'm his wife, and talk about something completely different. My ex would say... well, you get the idea. My parents would call me daughter and I'd be young to them. Now, all the people who were asked would see something different, they'd all have different 'names' for me, and they probably wouldn't agree exactly on who/what/how I am. Some might say I'm a simple, boring person, and others might say I'm lots of fun and have an interesting personality. Now, I'm not trying to say that any religion tries to say anything bad about God (with whatever name they give Him) - just trying to explain it with my inadequate words and experience. Just pointing out that it's possible (and I believe) that we DO all believe in the same (real) God, but see Him in different ways. Not to start an argument, but how do we really know that any of us are right? Maybe we all have it wrong. Either way, just because some think He's 'one' and some believe He's a 'trinity' doesn't mean it's not the same God. I don't change depending on other's perception of me. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this very well, but I hope you all understand what I'm trying to say. I guess this is why I can't really link myself to a religion. I was raised Catholic, but haven't been to church in years. I DO believe there is ONE God, but as far as which 'details' I believe... not so sure. Does He consist of three 'parts', however you want to define them? I'm not sure. Is Jesus His son, a prophet, just a really good person or spirit, or what? Again, not sure. I tend to agree with the point someone brought up about how the Holy Books have been written/interpreted/copied/passed down etc by humans. Not to trivialize the subject, but I'm sure you've all played that game where people whisper a phrase down the line and the last person says it out loud and it's compared to what the first person said. I think that basically we all believe in doing the right thing, treating each other nicely, being honest, etc. I'll be honest, too - even though I don't know that God cares if I eat meat on Fridays during Lent, I still don't do it. I've observed Ramadan with my husband since we met, and I don't know that God wants us to necessarily do that, either. Maybe I'm just being extra careful. For now, I'll just listen to and think about what others say, and do the best that I can. Oh, and I didn't decide to question the Christian faith because of my husband - it happened earlier than when I met him. I also don't intend to convert to anything either. Unless something changes in the future, I just don't identify with any religion enough to become part of it. I sincerely hope I didn't upset or offend anyone. I apologize if I did - it was not my intent. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-05-07 19:13:00
Middle East and North Africa	What kinds of gifts should I take?	This might sound weird, but my in-laws LOVE American peanut butter! I've taken and mailed some, and have it on my list for the next visit. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-06-08 22:53:00
Middle East and North Africa	Saturday MENA June 27	That's wonderful! Enjoy! It's always nice to hear good news. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-06-27 13:30:00
Middle East and North Africa	maybe visa time???	That does sound very promising... please let us know when you find out! Best of luck venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-08-13 12:51:00
Middle East and North Africa	Trash in Morocco	QUOTE (MouadsWife @ Aug 20 2009, 09:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I am going to say upfront that I have hit every ding in your post. Yes we met in an internet chat room, but a bar or singles club is no different. We have a 18 year age difference... neither of us looks our age, he looks older and I look alot younger. With the economy situation nowadays, jobs arent the easiest to find. However, I have a job, albiet not a fantastic one, but I have one. I was christian when I met my fiance, and now I am muslim. I am was also married for many years with a daughter. Now, with these facts, a uscis co may see these as red flags... albiet they are facts, but it does not mean our affection and love for one another is false. My fiance would give his life for me this I know, and I the same. We have been together 1.5 years and everyday we love each other more. Just because there are big giant red flags waving in the air, doesnt mean its not true. The facts have to be weighed on the positive, not the negative. If everything was every weighed on the negative, no one would ever take a chance in life. MouadsWife, I also hit every ding on that post. Well, not a chat room, but MySpace. 'Only' 11 years difference in age, but I actually have the three children mentioned in the post (from a 15 year marriage). We also look about the same age, but I didn't convert (I was brought up Catholic, but now just consider myself a person who believes in God, and who observes both Christian and Muslim holidays - including fasting now). We met May 2006, and he's been here since Dec 2006. There are some rough patches, but with all we're going through, that's to be expected (ok, it's to be expected in ANY relationship). He's put up with some incredibly horrible things, including my ex filing false child abuse reports against us and trying to take my kids away from me - the stress is overwhelming at times. To deal with all of that, while he already has his green card, would be unnecessary if he was 'using' me. It's hard not to get defensive sometimes with all the negativity out there. But I love my husband, and my children love him too. Actually, most people who meet him love him (other than my ex, and a few prejudiced people). I couldn't have hoped for such a wonderful stepfather for my children, either. Just a side note - in our case, there were no delays, no AP, nothing. He got his visa less than 3 months after we sent the K-1 packet. Either they didn't suspect him of fraud, or didn't care? The lady who interviewed him grilled him for over an hour, though. Maybe she did suspect him, was having a bad day, whatever. Either way, he still got his visa within a week of the interview. Best of luck to all! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-08-30 13:01:00
Middle East and North Africa	Mixed Religions	QUOTE (Y's_habibitk @ Sep 1 2009, 09:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I think she is saying that its basically "my way or the highway" for MENA men, and if it hasnt happened yet, it will. Thats what I got out of it. In a way i have to agree, a person that has grown up emmerced in a certain culture is not likely to change their views and beliefs just because they move to another country. There should be alot of common ground to begin with,regardless. If you dont share the same ideals in ANY relationship, there will be problems. Some people are more resilient and pliable than others, but imagine trying to live in a culture that is practically the exact opposite of what you grew up with and think about how hard it would be to "change your attitude". Some people think they can handle the differences and do try because they love their spouse, but in the end.. its too much. Too many times when we read these stories of divorce from an immigrant, the first thought is..."he used him/her" when in fact it might be that they genuinly tried but in the end, it was more than they could handle. I agree with alot of what you said. I think it really depends partly on how close each person's individual personality matches his or her native culture. We all know that each MENA country is a little different than the others - some are more 'strict', and some more lenient. Each person from a MENA country might be similar, but not exactly the same. For example, my SO never even tried cigarettes, but some members of his family smoke or smoked. He's more strict than even his father or brothers in that sense. If I smoked, I imagine that would really cause a problem (and it would actually be the same if he smoked, since I can't deal with cigarette smoke). Even before I met him, I didn't really drink or eat pork, and wasn't a going out kind of person. So even though we came from different cultures, our personalities/lifestyles were actually kind of close. Also, we're both fairly flexible/tolerant anyway. The few times I've eaten sausage or ribs, he didn't care. Just some examples. I can see if I was kind of wild, and/or he was intolerant, there would definitely be problems. Also, neither of us are 'super-religious'. I haven't attended religious services much since high school, and he doesn't either. I observe Ramadan with him, and he observes Lent with me. So it's also that we're both more laid back and accommodating together. Everyone has things they won't compromise on, and for us, we're in agreement with them, so they're not issues. Some people change/adjust to the new culture more than others, too. I think it depends on many variables. I'm sure there are other aspects, such as how difficult it is for him to adjust to being here in general, how he's treated by others, if he finds a job or not, if you have kids/how they get along with him, if he's able to find friends, etc. I don't care what anyone says, if things are going well in my life, I can be more pleasant, and am able to cope with things as they come up. If there's something stressing me, I'm just not the same. And I definitely agree with what you said in the end. I'm sure that people aren't actually used as often as is suspected. It does happen, though. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-01 21:21:00
Middle East and North Africa	Mixed Religions	aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww, shucks.... venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-01 19:25:00
Middle East and North Africa	Mixed Religions	- I have to wait until sundown for my ice cream..... Anyway, it's been interesting reading what everyone has to say. What I try to do (and am not always completely successful - I'm far from perfect ) is read what everyone has to say, realize that we all have our own experiences and points of view, and not get upset (that's the hard part) about anything. It's difficult sometimes, though, because I DO feel defensive at times - like when I went to a family event recently and was more or less shunned by a few relatives I used to be close to (in my pre-"married to an Arab" days). Face it, NO relationship is perfect, but when we have the inevitable problems, we feel like 'everyone' is going to say it's because of the mixed marriage. I love my husband, and I think he's really wonderful. Neither of us is perfect, though, and we have our times - one was Saturday night/early Sunday, actually. I was in tears, but felt I couldn't call anyone to talk, though, because if whoever I called even suggested it was because of who he was, that would really get my dander up! Definitely not what I needed. Anyway, the reason I like to read posts from others though, is that as well as we've managed to cope, it can be SO helpful to get insight from others. Some of you might have read my posts in the past. One thing I wish I had known in the past was how to handle my husband's moods. We had a few really horrible fights last year until I figured out to leave him alone and give him his space. Yeah, I know that is probably true of all or most men (not just MENA), but I wasn't expecting the "I made a mistake marrying you, I should go back home and divorce you" type of statements. It was soooooooo wonderful when I read that many MENA men (no, not saying "all") go through that phase, but that it (at least usually) passes. It still really sucked at the time, but it ended after a few weeks. Somehow it helps to know that I'm not the only one who dealt with that. I also wish someone had warned me about the treatment we got at the POE when he first arrived. The problem with all of this information is that it sometimes gets difficult to keep from getting paranoid and overly sensitive! I think that's why some of us get really angry and defensive when we hear anyone say anything bad about even one MENA man. It's hard enough to hear it from people we realize "don't know any better" (like my idiot relatives, or even well meaning but clueless friends), but when it comes from within the group (where we sometimes ONLY want to feel safe, supported, and encouraged), sometimes it's too hard to deal with. I try (again, not always successful) to keep in mind that some of us are hurting, some of us are being protective and not wanting others to get hurt, and some of us are (at least at that moment, and often due to outside-of-the-relationship reasons) very sensitive to any type of criticism and feel like we're being attacked. When we're feeling vulnerable for whatever reason (just had a fight, having trouble understanding the SO, recently got insulted by a rude or clueless person, whatever), it's very easy to mistake "please be careful" for "your relationship is automatically doomed because you married a MENA man". And also, everyone runs into finding out at least once in a while that what was in their minds wasn't exactly matched to how it was interpreted by others. So, for what it's worth, I (with all the best intentions) suggest that we all listen to what everyone has to say, realize that some of what you hear could be something to look out for - but not expect all of the 'bad' stuff to happen to you. The trick is to figure out what to totally ignore and what to remember and use in a good way to avoid or at least solve problems. Add in the difficulties we all face: 1 - just being in a relationship; 2 - adjusting to a new and different person/culture; 3 - dealing with all the naysayers on the outside who give their unwanted and rude opinions - and there's going to be some hurt feelings. If I wasn't so human, I'd just not read posts when I feel a little emotionally vulnerable. Unfortunately, that's often when I turn to VJ for advice or just as my form of escape (since I don't really have other vices to resort to, like drinking or whatever - I'm a procrastinator/avoider). We'll all have to forgive each other for any stepping on toes. I apologize if I did or will upset anyone - not my intent. I guess growing up in the family I did, and then dealing with a total jerk in a horrible 15 year marriage, has really developed my desire to smooth things over whenever possible. I wish all of you peace, love, and happiness - and a smooth journey! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-08-31 13:31:00
Middle East and North Africa	Mom Passed	venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-07 11:16:00
Middle East and North Africa	Ramadan and related dates	Thanks to everyone for the info. Yeah, I know I don't really have to worry about when they started fasting in Morocco - just mentioned that because it seemed to be yet another contradiction to what I read... I also know we don't always start on the same day. Well, we started on Saturday, 8/22/09, so I don't think we started late. I think hubby is concerned that maybe Ramadan isn't just 29 days this year, and doesn't want to quit early. I'll have to talk with him more about this when I get the chance. Someone posted about the start of Eid... I might be completely wrong about this, so please correct me - I don't want to spread bad information. The way I understand it is that Eid does start at sundown the night before, which would make sense - since we fast until sundown each day, it makes sense that Ramadan (at least in some sense) would end at sundown on the last day. So let's say sundown is at 7:02 pm on September 19 (for example - I could be wrong on the day and time - and it's different depending on where you live anyway), then that's exactly when Eid would start. Does that make sense? More importantly, is that correct? I'm glad my post made more sense than I thought. I was posting really late last night. There were a few times I'd post on a long thread and then read later that someone else had already posted that info. I also think I was kind of tired and wasn't sure if I was making sense. I guess since I don't drink, I post 'tired' instead of posting drunk. haha venusfire P.S. another question. I noticed that for some reason, fasting seemed much easier for me this year. However, I seem to be really sleepy the past day or so... could that be because of Ramadan?	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-05 00:42:00
Middle East and North Africa	Ramadan and related dates	Ok, according to when-is.com, Ramadan started on Friday, August 21, but in North America, on Saturday, August 22. Although I was even more confused when my mother-in-law said it started in Morocco on Aug 22. Anyway, I was looking again tonight, and saw that Eid al-Fitr is on Sunday, September 20... does that mean Ramadan is a day shorter here, or did they just fail to mention that it's a day later in North America (Sept. 21)? It also says that Lailat al Kadr is on Sept 15 - Sept 16 in North America. But I also thought (and it quite possible I'm wrong) that Lailat al Kadr is always on day 27 of Ramadan.... which would make it Sept 17 in North America. Unless I'm completely wrong about the start date... I would just say to be sure, we could just fast on Sept 20, but I read somewhere that it's haram to fast on Eid al-Fitr. If we ate on Sept 20, and 'made up' fasting on Sept 21 and it turns out Eid al-Fitr was actually Sept 21 here, then we'd be wrong anyway... see where this is going? On a related note, is there a better source for finding these things out? The dates are much more clear in a Muslim country. We don't seem to have a good source for it now. My husband doesn't seem to be very sure either. Sorry to sound so clueless, but I was raised Catholic... and my husband was the first person I met who I knew was Muslim. I didn't convert (and don't plan to), but have decided to still live the Islamic lifestyle to some extent (like fasting). Thanks... venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-03 23:48:00
Middle East and North Africa	Eid	I just heard that it's on Monday, not Sunday. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-19 15:13:00
Middle East and North Africa	Happy Eid for all MENA	Now I know why I was hearing something different - I heard from my brother in Afghanistan, and my husband heard from his family in Morocco... different than the US Happy Eid, everyone! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-19 18:34:00
Middle East and North Africa	Happy Eid for all MENA	I just heard it starts Monday... is that what everyone else heard? venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-19 15:03:00
Middle East and North Africa	I'm a pessimist..	Maybe we need to just post all of our GOOD stories to give you something positive to read. I'm sure there are others who would like to read them, too. For me, I can say that my husband is wonderful. We've been married over 2-1/2 years now, and not only is he a good husband, but he's a good stepfather too. People who meet him really like him. He didn't act strange after getting his greencard, and didn't leave me, either. We have some stress because of my ex (trying to take my kids away from me), but my sweetie stands by me, and helps me through it all. I know life would be harder without his emotional support. He helps with the kids, the housework, house repairs, etc. He doesn't look at other women, and actually gets annoyed when women flirt with him (he says they should respect me, him, and themselves). I honestly couldn't imagine life without him. The whole immigration process is long, frustrating, expensive, and draining - but totally worth it. Yes, there are some 'bad apples' out there - all over the world - but they're the exceptions. It sounds like you love and trust your SO, and I think it's really important to trust your instincts. I know it's strange, but I think I understand what you mean about being nervous because you don't have a nagging feeling - it's new to you. If you're used to a-holes, it can be difficult not to expect something bad to eventually happen when you finally find a nice person. And if others 'warn' you, that makes it even worse. My ex said the most horrible things - like that he (my SO) was young and good looking, and why would he want an older, divorced woman with kids? After all the horrible things my ex said to me all the years I was with him (19 years!), I had such low self esteem that it was hard to believe that such a wonderful man COULD be interested in me! Luckily, I had started to realize my worth as a person by the time my SO and I started to talk about a romantic relationship instead of just being friends. Of course, if you DO notice things that cause concern, that's different. But as long as you are comfortable with the way things are going, and he loves you for YOU, then do your best to relax and be happy. PLEASE don't accuse him of things unless you really think there's a problem - you can sabotage things for no real reason. Try just talking to him and explaining why you get nervous, and find ways to get rid of that nervousness. Remind yourself of what HE is like, not someone you heard about and never met. Like someone else said, you don't hear the other side of the story when you just read something online. Plus, it's human nature to blame the other person when things don't work out, and sometimes people blame it on the wrong thing ("he just wanted a green card" instead of "things didn't work out"). You might also want to consider going to talk with someone to figure out why you are looking for something bad that seems like it's not there, and how to overcome that. I know that some people do things like that - ruin something good that they feel they don't deserve. I hope you continue to talk with everyone here, and that we're able to help. I do know what it's like to hear things that can make you nervous - I had to make sure to remember that only what was true in MY relationship mattered - not what might be going on in other circumstances. Best of luck! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-21 23:09:00
Middle East and North Africa	Just to clear things up	This is a very confusing thread - seems like the whole beginning is missing or something??? I don't want to get into the middle of... whatever happened before... I just want to say that what I read reminded me of the whole "fiancee/wife" thing. Apparently, calling a fiancee "wife" and fiance "husband" is very common with Moroccans and their sweeties - we did it. It's cute, and fun, but I agree that it's really important to be VERY careful. It DOES get to be habit, and I would imagine the longer you do it, the more it comes out automatically. At his interview, my SO saw someone get a visa denial because the guy accidently called his fiancee "my wife". So... do whatever you want, use any screen name you want... but be very careful that the correct term is used when going for the interview - and I'd imagine it's important to make sure there's nothing in any papers submitted that give them any reason to think you secretly got married or whatever. Casa is difficult and it seems like they look for ANY reason to keep from giving out visas. Best of luck to all! venusfire Edited by venusfire503, 24 September 2009 - 11:01 PM.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-24 22:59:00
Middle East and North Africa	Ramadan 2009	QUOTE (Melly 2 @ Sep 4 2009, 08:46 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (venusfire503 @ Sep 4 2009, 08:31 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Amanda, I'm far from an expert, but one thing that came to mind is to be careful about things like locking the door when you are changing to make sure he doesn't accidently see you naked during the day during Ramadan. Don't make sexual comments to him either, since Muslims are not supposed to think about sex while fasting. And be prepared to do without hugs and kisses until sundown! Also, if you don't fast, it's a good idea to eat and drink where he won't see you. Try to avoid cooking things with strong smells - especially if it's something he really likes. Those aren't things that I heard anywhere - just things that seem polite. Good luck if you do try to fast. Don't be hard on yourself if you aren't able to do it 100%, or slip up sometimes. venusfire Actually, unless her husband thinks about sex 24/7 and is unable to control himself, I don't see how changing clothes in front of him is going to do any harm. And there is nothing wrong with a hug and peck on the cheek goodbye in the morning before work or when coming home. Husbands and wives can be together, as long as it's not sexual or leads to sex. A kiss and hug doesn't have to be sexual. If I am not mistaken, even the prophet, salallahu alayhi wassalam, hugged and kissed his wives while fasting. I guess it all depends - my husband feels that it's not allowed (seeing me change, hugging, kissing, etc). I can't argue with him since it's not my religion, and I only know what I've heard from him (and a little that I've read about). I think it makes sense that it should be allowed as long as it doesn't lead to anything, but I can also see the logic in not taking chances (even if it didn't lead to action, it could lead to thoughts). Especially since, for some, what's forbidden is even more tempting! Either way, I wouldn't feel right about saying or doing anything to suggest that my husband should be less strict/observant. I think it's up to him to decide how he feels and how he wants to practice his religion. Just like it's up to everyone else! I guess what I should've said to Amanda was to talk to her SO and see what he believes is allowed or not allowed, and work with that. Hey, I'm learning! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-25 21:24:00
Middle East and North Africa	Ramadan 2009	QUOTE (Amanda_Raad @ Aug 4 2009, 07:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hi Ladies....just joining this thread & needing some advice. My husband is Muslim and I am Christian. I've never been through Ramadan before and I am seriously worried about what I should do for my hubby! I don't know the exact "procedures" if you will and when and where and how. I feel like I should fast with him, but I don't know how I should even begin. Is it correct that you can even drink water during the fast? Need some help ladies. This will be his first Ramadan away from home and I want to make it the best I can. Amanda Amanda, I'm far from an expert, but one thing that came to mind is to be careful about things like locking the door when you are changing to make sure he doesn't accidently see you naked during the day during Ramadan. Don't make sexual comments to him either, since Muslims are not supposed to think about sex while fasting. And be prepared to do without hugs and kisses until sundown! Also, if you don't fast, it's a good idea to eat and drink where he won't see you. Try to avoid cooking things with strong smells - especially if it's something he really likes. Those aren't things that I heard anywhere - just things that seem polite. Good luck if you do try to fast. Don't be hard on yourself if you aren't able to do it 100%, or slip up sometimes. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-04 00:31:00
Middle East and North Africa	Ramadan 2009	QUOTE (tnh9479 @ Jul 11 2009, 05:11 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> We usually buy our dates directly from this farm in California. They taste soooooooooo much better than what you can get other places. I always make Harira for DH. Yum! Does anyone know of a good young children's book on Ramadan (in English) that I could read to the babies? I found a cute little book at the library for my kids called "My First Ramadan" by Karen Katz. I even ordered a copy from Amazon.com so we could have one of our own. It's a very basic book with simplistic pictures. If you go to http://books.google....M...;q=&f=false you can even look at some of it. Good luck! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-04 00:01:00
Middle East and North Africa	Need advice before trip to Morocco	I wasn't able to read all of the posts, so sorry if my post seems out of place with the others. One thing that I was thinking is that maybe he's just worried about being able to support you and your children. It's my understanding that Moroccan men feel very strongly that it's their duty to be the provider (and usually the ONLY provider). Now that he's been in this country, he might realize how difficult it is for people from other countries to get jobs - and even more difficult to get jobs that will support a whole family (it's hard enough now for Americans to do it). Another thing is that maybe he's just worried that things might not 'click' in person. Hard to say. I also heard that some American women use Moroccan men to have a free place to stay when traveling there, and maybe he's worried about that. It is possible that he's saying no to money and things now in order to get more from you later (get you to put down your guard), but it's also very possible that he just doesn't want to use you. His pride will likely not allow him to take money from you. Don't offer any more. If you really want to be a giving person, then just take gifts for him and the family when you visit, and leave it at that. It's possible that he won't allow himself to fall in love if he feels unable to provide for you. Or maybe he's just waiting to see how it works out before he says anything - doesn't want to disappoint you if there are no feelings in person? My advice, since you're looking for advice, is to go if you want, enjoy his (friendly) company, but don't have any expectations. If the two of you hit it off, then wonderful! Work out the details. If you don't hit it off, then appreciate the opportunity to meet a new person, see a new country, and have an amazing experience. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-22 21:30:00
Middle East and North Africa	Morrocan memebers please HELP !!	My husband went to Dr. Guidon back in 2006, and was not given any copies of the exam or anything. We didn't realize at the time that he would need them later. He called Dr. Guidon from here (yes, overseas) to ask for copies of his papers so we could do the vaccine record for AOS. The doc told him he doesn't keep records (this was only a few months later), and wasn't allowed to give him copies anyway. So, if you're considering going to him, you might want to call first to ask if you can get your paperwork while you're there. If he won't do it, I'd suggest going elsewhere - getting the information for AOS is a PITA. Oh, and USCIS lost his medical exam, and since Dr. Guidon wouldn't give us any paperwork, we had to pay to go to a Civil Surgeon to get another one done here (and it also delayed things). Yes, it's stupid - if he didn't have a medical exam for his visa, he wouldn't be here.... so you'd think they'd realize he HAD one.... It was a waste of time and money, and irritated us. Just sayin' venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-27 20:09:00
Middle East and North Africa	I need more education on halal foods	QUOTE (Y's_habibitk @ Sep 30 2009, 08:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> bump for Venus Thank you! By the way, I was just thinking about all this back and forth about what is or is not allowed. First I must say that I DON'T want to get in the middle of an argument - just want to put another thought out there. I know that since I'm not Muslim, I don't really have a 'right' to say anything, in a way. However, I think that some people need to keep in mind that we non-Muslims are just doing our best to accommodate our Muslim spouses with our limited information. As in any other religion, there are some who are more observant than others. I think that when some people here are giving advice, they're doing it in the context of what the individual feels is OK, not necessarily what someone official would approve of. For example, with the halal meat debate - while some feel it's ok to eat non-halal meats for whatever reason, others say the religion doesn't allow it. For those of us with Muslim SOs, please keep in mind that we're just looking for the best answers we can. As far as I'm concerned, I'm only worried about doing what makes my husband happy and comfortable, not with trying to follow all the rules 100%. As a matter of fact, I don't think he likes it too much when I tell him about something I read somewhere that's more strict than what he normally does! Makes sense - I wouldn't want someone telling me that I'm not "Catholic" enough (even though I don't really consider myself much of a follower). So, let's all try to remember that when someone is giving advice, they're doing it with good intentions and with the best information they have. The way I understand it, this is a religion that is understanding of the fact that people are in different parts of their journey, and the point is (again, as I understand it) to do your best, and try to keep doing better. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-30 15:00:00
Middle East and North Africa	My easy road out of Egypt	QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Oct 1 2009, 11:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hmmm....perhaps we should start a "bad EX wives club". You could qualify for that. But I suspect your too nice to be on the bad wives club. We need more proof. Complain girl complain. Morocco4ever, (I do try to be nice....but now I'm blushing) I could definitely be in the bad ex wives club - I could complain about my ex non-stop. It's hard to complain about my husband - not only is he really nice, but after all those miserable years with the ex, it's hard to find anything worth complaining about now! venusfire P.S. LOVE your quote about life, by the way! Edited by venusfire503, 01 October 2009 - 10:52 PM.	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-10-01 22:51:00
Middle East and North Africa	My easy road out of Egypt	QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Oct 1 2009, 06:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Nobody is against happy stories here, and Staashi was merely goofing off. But to post this same thing twice in 2 different places seems to be a bit of bragging to me. I hope it wasn't intended that way. I don't get it sometimes however. Why is it when someone is teasing they get slammed? Perhaps some people aren't as happy as they claim. But no, you can't join the bad wives club unless you can admit you are miserable. No exceptions. Maybe some people don't realize they're teasing? It's not always easy to know what someone was thinking when they posted. My kids put me through the ringer with things, so I'm used to overexplaining (one reason my posts are too long?). We actually have a house rule - "don't be a lawyer". I imagine sometimes people still read things differently than I post them, though. I try to assume that people have the best intentions. (I'm joking now) Can I be part of the bad wives club? I'm usually pretty happy (other than dealing with my ex, my life is pretty good - the ex does a good job of making me miserable sometimes, though), but my husband DOES call me bad bad wife sometimes (he's joking)... Besides, if you read one of the other threads, I'm doomed. My husband has his 10 year card coming in the mail soon, but I think he'll at least want to wait another year for citizenship. Then all bets are off. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-10-01 21:09:00
Middle East and North Africa	My easy road out of Egypt	I have a feeling OP was just trying to give encouragement - esp to people who are newer in their journeys. I'm sure she didn't mean to upset anyone. I mean, she did say her heart goes out to everyone and mentioned praying for us... This is exactly why I decided not to post a separate thread when my husband's ROC was approved... I didn't want anyone who was still waiting to think I was rubbing it into their faces or anything. I am very happy that our journey hasn't been worse than it has, and it makes me sad that some people have to wait longer or go through BS. Even the shortest separation is difficult, and even the 'smoothest' journey is expensive, time consuming, and stressful. I really wish NO ONE had to wait more than a few months to be together. There have been times I've posted about how things went relatively smooth and quickly for us, and hope I never upset anyone... I only was letting people know that it CAN be less of a hassle, because hearing some of the stories I've heard can be scary. Especially when you're dealing with certain countries... I know when we first sent the K-1 packet, we posted in a panic all of the time. It's been a few years, but I still remember the feeling that it would take forever, and/or we'd get permanently denied or something. It's not easy sometimes to encourage some without upsetting others. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-10-01 16:03:00
Middle East and North Africa	Any moroccan is having interview in NOVEMBER 2009 in Casablanca ?	QUOTE (sinad @ Oct 3 2009, 05:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> me and my son will be interviewed on Novemeber 16th Good luck! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-10-03 18:20:00
Middle East and North Africa	converting - or not	QUOTE (Sofiyya @ Oct 4 2009, 04:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> What do you say to me? I'm Muslim, from a Palestinian family, raised in the ME, and I'm 21 years older than my Moroccan husband. We take Islam as a way of life, and he takes my children as his. Websites like Jihadwatch are meant to forment hatred between Muslims and non-Muslims. They have nothing positve to say about Muslims and Islam. Sadly, may Americans DO take their knowledge from sites like this. I was listening to a local radio talk show the other day where, in light of the Zazi arrest in Denver, they were asking Muslims to call in and explain why "Muslims don't speak out loudly against terrorism" (that tired canard). One of the hosts said he read Robert Spenser to try to understand Islam, and I just shook my head. As far as I'm concerned, sites like this, those who believe them, and Muslim terrorists are simply two sides of the same coin, formenting hate and division. That's not to say that there are no bad MENA men and naive western women (and vice versa)who find each other and , there are plenty. But, choices have consequences; stupid people won't accept that, but the smart ones already know it to be true. Sofiyya, Don't know what to say, except maybe..... I love the voice of wisdom. Peace venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-10-04 18:51:00
Middle East and North Africa	converting - or not	QUOTE (bhajishah @ Oct 2 2009, 11:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> yh good luck on saying no. Uh... what?	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-10-03 18:18:00
Middle East and North Africa	converting - or not	QUOTE (UmmSqueakster @ Sep 29 2009, 04:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE Anyway, if anyone would like to tell about their conversion - or not converting - please do so. Feel free to tell why you did or didn't - what led you to your decision. I have something of my conversion process at my blog. It's an ever evolving and changing narrative as I time passes and I reflect more on it. QUOTE If you did convert, do you have any information you'd like to add - where, when, how you converted? For example, some might have done it very informally, maybe others had some type of ceremony? I'm just really curious - and this is something I've been thinking about quite a bit lately. There really wasn't anything too official about it - 2 witnesses, la ilaha il Allah, Muhammadur rasul Allah. I got a conversion certificate from Al Azhar a few years later that made it all official on paper in case the saudi government ever asked for proof of my conversion when I want to make hajj/umrah. Beyond that, it's been a long and interesting road that still takes me new and exciting places. UmmSqueakster, I started to read your blog, and find it interesting. I understand what you said about it being difficult to answer the question about why you converted. It sounds to me that you just found, after years of research, what makes sense to you! I imagine not everyone would be 'ok' with that answer, but that's their problem. In a way, I envy you. You have found something that fits. Who knows - maybe some day I will, too. For now, I am researching, thinking, listening to others. I think there's something more... fulfilling, maybe - about hearing from people and not just reading texts. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-29 17:27:00
Middle East and North Africa	converting - or not	QUOTE (TamaraLovesAdam @ Sep 29 2009, 04:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> welcome to VJ. One thing that came to my mind that you wrote was at the end regarding him giving up smoking and you giving up pork... I *think most guys say they will give up smoking but hardly actually do it. Smoking is usually an addiction where as eating pork isnt usually an addiction. Its going to be ALOT easier for you to give up eating pork, then him to just get here and quit smoking. Hopefully, if hes serious about quitting smoking he will stop it while in Egypt. Not only that, but there are so many pork substitutes. I actually tended to buy turkey hotdogs, turkey ham, soy sausage, etc anyway (for health reasons) long before I met my husband, so there was very little adjusting once he got here. (he didn't insist that I stop buying pork, I did). The only thing I can't really find a substitute for is pork chops, but I can live without them. My 6 year old LOVES ribs, but she's just as happy with beef ribs. I also found Goya ham flavored concentrate (like powdered bouillon) and J & D's bacon salt (vegetarian) which contain no pork - only made out of plants and chemicals, apparently. I don't know if your SO would be comfortable eating any of that (my husband will eat kosher beef hot dogs, but doesn't like many of the other things, and of course won't eat any pork), but at least it will give you options if there are certain things you don't want to completely give up. I'm going to start a thread about foods we can substitute for things our SO can't eat. Best of luck! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-29 16:27:00
Middle East and North Africa	converting - or not	QUOTE (CnT4ever @ Sep 27 2009, 05:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> To answer the OP, whatever you or anyone decides, it should be because it was something that person wanted, and found a peace with... not for anyone's sake, or fitting in, or looking good, etc. Everyone should stick to a religion and lifestyle which suites them. I think most people in the world, are labeled one religion or another, but they aren't really that religion. Is a Muslim that doesn't pray, fast, or abide by the rules really a Muslim? Or just labeled one? Is a Hindu that eats beef and doesn't believe in reincarnation really a Hindu? It's something to ponder... I often wonder if someone picks and chooses what they like of a religion and leave off things they dont' like...are they really of that religion??? Or have they created their own religion by doing so? Does religion require an all or nothing approach? Lots of things to think about after reading some of these posts. I think I've found some good conversation/debate for my husband tonight CnT4ever, I wasn't asking people so I could make a decision. It's just something I've been thinking about alot lately, and was curious about others' thoughts. I just don't really have people to discuss this with, and thought it would be something interesting to do online. I also figured this group would be a good place to do it, since we're more likely to understand than the people who live around me. I was right! I mentioned before, and want to mention again that I'm really impressed how civil everyone has been! I think you had a really good point - most people probably aren't very strict about their religions - at least from what I can tell. I know in my case, I was only exposed to Catholicism, and was led to believe that "we" were "right", and everyone else was delusional. I wouldn't choose Catholicism if it wasn't "assigned" to me. I haven't found a religion that I want to choose. If people ask, I usually just say "I was raised Catholic" because getting into a long conversation isn't usually the best idea. First of all, most people don't really want to know - kind of like "how are you?", they just want a short, simple answer. Not only that, but you just never know how people will react, and I am rarely in the mood to deal with people's possible reactions to what I might say. Especially if it's someone in my family! I love my relatives, but... this is not something I want to debate with them. And trust me, it WOULD be a debate. Sigh. I love that I've been able to post without being attacked, and that so many have shared their thoughts with me - and that they haven't been attacked either. This is just the kind of interaction I've been craving! I don't know if I'll ever "pick" a religion, but at least I've come to terms with the idea of not really identifying with one. It sounds like there are a few other people here with the same situation. Makes me feel almost normal! I guess it's good that most parents teach their children about "A" religion, even if the children don't always end up agreeing with it. We need guidance when we're young, until we can make our own decisions about things. I just wish that there wasn't this thing attached to it - the concept that if we decide to follow another religion when we're older, that we're going to Hell or something like that. We call it "Catholic guilt", but I don't think Catholics are the only ones who do it to their children! I'm sure many people just don't really think about it, or at least don't think about it for certain parts of your life. That was me for many years - just disassociated myself from the whole thing. Hearing my husband talk about God just brought it into my thoughts, and I think that's a good thing. My husband's faith has brought me closer to God, and I appreciate that, and have thanked him for that many times. Well, I think some people DO think that religion is an all or nothing thing, and that's what I used to believe, too. Now I don't think so. I'm sure some people will disagree with me, but I think it's ok to pick and choose what I think is "right". Then again, I don't consider myself to be a member of any religion either. And part of that is because I can't consider myself part of religion if I don't completely agree with it. If others want to consider themselves part of a religion they don't really follow, that doesn't bother me. That's something we need to decide on our own. Then again, I can understand how an observant member of a religion might not be too thrilled about someone who identifies themselves as part of that religion but don't take it seriously. I'm a "to each his own" kind of person. Anyway, thanks to everyone for the conversation. I hope to have more! venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-27 18:47:00
Middle East and North Africa	converting - or not	I love these posts! Yes, I think that is kind of what it is - 'my' religion just doesn't fit me, and I really didn't think much about it for many years. Being around my husband, who loves being Muslim, and being reminded that God should be more a part of my life got me thinking about it alot. I even resorted to taking (gasp) an online quiz that is supposed to show you which religions most match your personal beliefs. I read through the brief description of my "top" ones, but nothing really fits. I guess I could just accept not being a member of any one religion, but keep learning and thinking (imagine that!) to figure out where I am... It does make sense, though - I kind of lost myself after all those years of being nothing but a wife and mother - two noble roles, but I wasn't "me" anymore. Well, my ex didn't appreciate me either, so that was more or less a waste anyway. After all of that (divorce and everything), I found myself in my own personal "visa journey". It's a good thing in the end, but really throws everything into a spin, as you all know. We've adjusted to things, so now it seems that religion is more on my mind than before. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-25 15:35:00
Middle East and North Africa	converting - or not	QUOTE (doodlebugg @ Sep 25 2009, 11:13 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'm sorry but this is way too civil!!! Usually these threads involve LOTS of popcorn. Doodlebugg, I'm also pleasantly surprised and relieved about that. Hey - we can have popcorn anyway... I've actually been on a popcorn kick lately, just without the drama. venusfire	venusfire503	Female	Morocco	2009-09-25 10:19:00