Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
Philippines	Study on Early Development and Success of Filipinos	Early childhood nutrition may play a role in determining the stature and masculinity of young men, suggests a study that began in 1983 By David Biello You are what your mother fed you, especially if you are a young man. A new study that looked at the height, weight, muscle mass, strength, testosterone levels and even sexual history of 770 Filipino men tracked from birth reveals that the degree of a baby boy's growth in the first six months of life predicts the extent of his masculine characteristics. This period is crucial because it is "when testosterone is at roughly adult levels," explains biological anthropologist Christopher Kuzawa of Northwestern University, who led the study published online September 14 in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. "Men who as babies gained weight rapidly during the period of this testosterone surge matured earlier, were taller, had more muscle, were stronger and had higher testosterone levels. Because they matured earlier, not surprisingly, they started having sex for the first time at a younger age and had more sex partners." That's pretty much the recipe for success from an evolutionary standpoint, and it also provides evidence as to how nurture might shape an underlying nature. After all, this testosterone surge in early life contributes to the male characteristics of many mammals. "The things that define males are flexible characteristics in response to nutrition," Kuzawa argues. "Your fate is not hardwired." Kuzawa and his colleagues conducted follow-up interviews with 770 Filipino men whose mothers had enrolled in 1983 in the Cebu Longitudinal Health and Nutrition Survey, a cross-section of the population of the Philippine's second-largest city. The researchers looked at growth data from the boys' first two years of life as well as information collected when they were eight, 11 and 14. Finally, the researchers interviewed the men in their early 20s. Those boys who had grown the fastest from birth to six months, who generally were also the boys who were breast-fed and grew up in wealthier homes, became the men exhibiting the most masculine characteristics. A similar analysis of 690 Filipino women revealed no such difference (Kuzawa is now conducting a follow-up study to see if there are any long-term effects of early nutrition on the birth weight of these women's offspring.) That discrepancy could be because the testosterone surge literally shapes the bodies of men, including organs and bones. The "environment" the baby boys encounter—most important, the nutritional environment—then governs the size of the surge. "The slow growers are undernourished and nutrition-stressed," Kuzawa notes. Of course, the researchers could simply be demonstrating the effects of nutrition on male development—or even the effects of breast-feeding. "There may be factors in the mother's breast milk, but we don't have the ability to actually look at that," Kuzawa notes. But he adds that the effect in humans matches the same biological pattern found in other animals, such as rats. "If nutrition is better, they can afford more of those traits, and under more limiting nutrition circumstances it might benefit that individual not to commit to that kind of costly body." But the effects of socioeconomic class and culture are hard to rule out as well. The richest boys also grew fastest throughout the entire first two years. "We are seeing overwhelmingly an effect of poverty as an influence on outcomes," Kuzawa says, although cautioning on extrapolating from one specific set of circumstances in the Philippines to any other country. "We can't predict how these findings play out in a population," he says of the U.S., for example, "where the fastest growers are actually gaining too much weight." http://www.scientifi...ung-man-success	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-09-14 14:50:00
Philippines	Can A Filipina Really Be Taught How to Drive? A Car?	So how do you/she compare the wild west school of traffic rules there compared to the black and white rules of the road state side? Its apples and oranges. She transitioned pretty smoothly - driving on the freeways in Southern California within weeks of first arriving here. Driving skills are not gender biased.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-07-17 23:17:00
Philippines	Can A Filipina Really Be Taught How to Drive? A Car?	The way this topic is phrased it makes it sounds like an entire country of women are driving challenged. Wouldn't it be more appropriate to say "my wife" vs. generalizing? FWIW, Jinky was driving a stick multi-cab long before we ever met. In fact, she's convinced her driving abilities are superior to mine.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-07-17 22:12:00
Philippines	Our Beautiful Baby girl Merci Rose	Merci Rose was born 10/14/2010 at 6:30 pm and weighed 7lbs. 8ozs. and was 20 3/4 inces long. I am the most proudest Daddy out there!!!! Congratulations, Danny! She's beautiful!	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-10-17 10:34:00
Philippines	Religion and Culture	When world-renowned Filipino boxer, Manny "The Pacman" Pacquiao was rumored to have been committing infidelity against his wife, the Filipino people were overwhelmed with mixed feelings. Of course, it led to questions regarding his morality, as well as his stature as a role model. The news was everywhere, and everyone in and around the country had his or her own opinion regarding the matter. But perhaps the most common opinion was that Manny was not as much in the wrong as his supposed lover. Why was this? Simply put, it was because Manny is a man, and his lover is a woman. In other words, there exists a double standard in the eyes of the Filipino people. Because of this double standard, it seemed more wrong for the woman to have engaged in the relationship, than for the man, even if, in reality, everyone knows that it always takes two to tango. Very interesting. Thanks for the post. I see a similar double standard in Latin countries as well, although I believe the attitude is changing. I'm willing to bet that if Manny's fans strongly disapproved of his infidelity to the point that he lost his popularity and perhaps destroy his career, the next famous Filipino would think twice....or at least would try to hide it. That's what I've seen in this country. For awhile, cases of high profile infidelity were common, but as of late, we've seen a lot of famous people's lives flush down the toilet because they couldn't keep their pants on. There seems to be a lot less tolerance for it among spouses and a lot more public scrutiny to where it isn't worth the shame or embarrassment, let alone the destruction of relationships and family. Edited by El Buscador, 27 October 2010 - 07:43 AM.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-10-27 07:37:00
Philippines	Religion and Culture	Thanks, PW, for those statistics. So, given that it isn't just a perception with regard to high infidelity rates, I wonder what has the most influence on such behavior? For example, (anecdotal here) there seem to be certain personality types among men (regardless of cultural background) that act and behave like playboys. They don't care if a woman is in a relationship with another man, it seems like for them it is a conquest, an ego trip. However, here in the states, I've been around some of these personality-types that probably won't ever follow through on their sexual impulses because the consequences (divorce, alimony, child support, public shame, etc.) are not worth it. Of course, there are examples of men who follow through on those impulses here in America, but for the most part, they tend to be reckless with their life in all areas, not just relationships. Infidelity destroys trust, destroys relationships and destroys families. Although some may be able to pick up the pieces and rebuild, most of the time, the damage seems irreparable. So why do so many Filipinos engage in infidelity when there is so much at stake?	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-10-27 07:09:00
Philippines	Religion and Culture	I'm just curious and I don't want to start a flame war, but a question to both Filipinas (Filipinos) and their American spouses, how much of an influence do you think religion and culture have on promiscuity among Filipinos? For example, the fact that you cannot get a legal divorce as well as the difficulty of getting an annulment, might contribute to high infidelity rates? Edited by El Buscador, 26 October 2010 - 01:06 PM.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-10-26 13:05:00
Philippines	My view… probably will give some sort of understanding	Great thread and well thought out post! There are layers to the issue though of giving financial help to family back in the Philippines and one of them is the danger of that help actually being more of a crutch than really helping. IMO, I think it is human nature (perhaps even animal nature) that we quickly become accustomed to receiving help. While I'm a firm believer in helping and being charitable, I'm also aware that even family members can abuse that charity. I think it is far more helpful to actually pay directly, whatever financial assistance they need - whether it's a mortgage/rent payment, utilities, medical bills, tuition, etc., rather than giving it all as unaccountable cash. If there is no accountability on their end, the temptation for many is too great, not to always use the money in the wisest way or what it was intended for. Giving a credit/debit card to them is one way to provide accountability because you can view their transactions. Helping family is a good thing and the right thing to do when they truly need help, but make them accountable for whatever financial help you are giving them. No one should ever be offended by having to be accountable.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-10-28 11:45:00
Philippines	Philippines ranked second best in global microfinance business		one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-10-28 22:58:00
Philippines	Joey Santiago of the Pixies	I liked the song Gigantic but otherwise didn't like their style of music. The Pixies were like a progression that led to Grunge style music which I really never cared for. But yeah Joey does look definitely like a Filipino. Yeah, same here. I was never a big fan of Nirvana and the other Grunge bands.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-10-30 17:44:00
Philippines	Joey Santiago of the Pixies	I was just watching a documentary on the alternative rock group, The Pixies, and noticed the guitarist, Joey Santiago, looking like he could be Filipino and sure enough, he was born in Manila in 1965. Here he is back in the late 1980's: And him now:	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-10-30 09:15:00
Philippines	Learning my fiancee 's culture	If that ever happen to me I would turn around and knock the dog$hit out of the person. You have to be pro active in Philippines. What I was taught if you are an American in Philippines and someone comes up to you and trys to start $hit with you, or they are acting funny. Then you need to immediately punch the person in the face as hard as you can. Have you actually tried that? What's worse - putting up with someone yelling, "Hey Joe!" at you on the street, or spending a few years in a Filipino prison for assaulting a Filipino?	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-09-14 15:05:00
Philippines	Learning my fiancee 's culture	I myself do not understand our confusion with the pronouns but here's a good explanation from Wiki as to why Filipinos have a hard time with the he/she pronoun. x x x All languages allow the speaker to specify whether one is talking about a male or female, but some languages do not require the speaker to make that choice as an intrinsic part of the language.[2] In some languages, pronouns do not distinguish between genders, so gender equity of pronouns is not relevant. This category includes many East Asian languages x x x I consider myself to have a good grasp of the English language but I still commit the same "he/she" mistake when I speak. Filipinos use the non-gender specific "siya" when we talk about a person (we don't distinguish he or she). Siya ay maganda (She is pretty) or Siya ay magandang lalaki (He is handsome). We do not have a special name for son or daughter, both are called "anak" (child) in our language (if you need to be gender specific, you have to say "anak na babae" or "anak na lalaki" (child that is girl, child that is boy), mother-in-law and father-in-law are both called "biyenan", sons and daughters-in-law are both called "manugang", etc. This is the reason why when we speak in English, it takes conscious effort to take into consideration the gender of the person we are talking about. Our brain is just not programmed to process the gender of the person being talked about for the simple reason that our language does not distinguish between sex. Have a little more patience, dear American husbands. It is not easy to learn the nuances of another language. How about you learn Tagalog so you can even the score with us. Annoy us with your mistakes hehe I know I need the patience of a saint, but it is honestly difficult to follow along with who you are talking about when she and he get flipped about, even within a single sentence. I think another reason why this occurs to the degree that it does is because the English spoken in the Philippines is a derivative of American English, and whatever slang was used at the time that Filipinos were exposed to it.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-09-14 15:03:00
Philippines	Learning my fiancee 's culture	Location adverbs? You mean prepositions? Yes - those.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-09-10 18:11:00
Philippines	Learning my fiancee 's culture	Here's some things that just throw me off: He for she and her for him - bloody hell, I understand why she does it but please make it stop! VERBS - to her, past, present and future tense verbs are interchangeable. Example: "He eat it all." Location adverbs - in, on, under, near, below, around - she rarely ever gets these right. Example: "My keys are on my purse." Telling me where something is - Example: "Honey, do you know where the flashlight is?" Her answer: "It's just there!" Edited by El Buscador, 10 September 2010 - 01:34 PM.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-09-10 13:33:00
Philippines	Raising Fil/Am Children	For those who plan to have children or already have children.... 1. How much of their Filipino culture do you hope they will inherit? Language, customs, beliefs, attitudes? 2. Do you speak to your child in your native tongue? (Bisaya, Tagalog, etc.). Does your American spouse support, encourage your child to learn it? 3. Have you or will you bring/send your child to the Philippines to stay for any extended period of time? Summertime for example? * Also - if you (the American spouse), chose a Filipina spouse because of certain qualities you found were lacking here with most potential spouses here in America, how do you plan to keep your children from becoming "Americanized" in that way?	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-11-11 05:25:00
Philippines	Pacquiao vs Margarito	What a fighter! What a fight! I do wonder though if Manny slept with his wife last night or with one of his many girlfriends?	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-11-14 15:18:00
Philippines	Can I be banned from the Philippines?	It's actually unbelievable that instead of finding ways to fix the marriage, this guy is already looking into getting another woman from the Philippines. He's more worried with being banned from the PH in the future and that he couldn't hook up with another girl there rather than solving the present situation. Just earlier this year, the same guy was asking VJers how his fiancee could get her police clearance from another country. Note: It has been ages since I last posted on VJ and I cannot remember my password. A nod to the mods and the Ewok. For every "bad Filipina" story we get here on VJ, and there have been many, there have got to be about as many "bad Kano's." In reality, it's rarely one-sided.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-11-16 16:40:00
Philippines	Can I be banned from the Philippines?	as far as how i treat her. i don't talk down to her, i tell it to her so she understands what i'm saying, but truly the "in one ear, out the other" typically applies with her. I don't hit her, and she's no sex slave to me at all. honestly, i don't even have a real desire to sleep with her. she's not some slimmed down gal and her attitude makes her mentally fatter to me, which i'm not attracted to. sorry I'm really not into fat gals. There right there is your problem.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-11-16 16:04:00
Philippines	Honesty, Fidelity and Culture	Culture (including family, education, community) may play a part in a person's tendency to engage in infidelity as culture does contribute to shaping a person's sense of right and wrong. It does not matter if you are a romantic or a "rational" person, it boils down to how strong your sense of right and wrong is. I believe that when you're a single person and have to interact with a married person (at work, school/church activities, etc.), you have to immediately set your "invisible" boundaries. If you're a woman but the guy is married, "interact" but be always conscious that you have to be careful with how you behave or with what you say. It does not matter if your closeness to the married guy is "innocent" because it matters a great deal how the guy's family perceives your relationship with the married guy. IMO, if every female/male on the brink of falling for a married person stops and thinks about what the impact of her/their actions would be on the married person's wife/husband and children, that person would stop from pursuing/continuing his/her affair. And, that is why, I view men/women who engage in adulterous affairs as, generally, very inconsiderate and selfish people. How can anyone knowingly hurt another person? What does it matter if you are so much in love or in lust with the person? You should be able to control what you say or what your hands/feets/ mouth/body do. What does it matter if the married person says his/her spouse does not love her? The married person should leave/separate/divorce his/her spouse if he/she wants to be in a relationship with another person. The only acceptable excuse to me to have been involved in an illicit affair is if the single person had no knowledge that the other person was married/in a relationship with someone else. I just do not get people who would deliberately hurt others who have not harmed them in any way. I know some women who had/have affairs with married men. It's always about their feelings and how the guy feels . They never talk of the guy's wife or children. That doesn't surprise me. Once you start considering the feelings/welfate of other people, it would be mighty difficult to justify selfish behavior. Some people, however, do seem to completely lack empathy/sympathy. I knew a guy who enjoyed the attention that women and gay guys gave him (the guy was good looking) and hooks up with several of them at a time. He rationazes by saying that what's he's doing is just harmless play. I pointed out to him that "it may just be a game to you but it's not to the women you're involved with. Based on what the women wrote or said to you, they each thought that you're serious about your relationship with them." It's rare though that I encounter quite such a narcissistic person. Yes, I am one judgmental b-i-t-c-h but I do practice what I just preached here. Awesome post! Outstanding.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-11-20 00:22:00
Philippines	Honesty, Fidelity and Culture	I dont really think the rationale person as really any different than the romantic. The romantic is driven by emotion as you say while the rationale person can easily justify his situation with so called rationale thoughts which may be anything but. Actually, that's a really good point. A wise person once said, "Our minds let us know what we cannot feel, and our hearts let us feel what we cannot know."	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-11-18 23:22:00
Philippines	Honesty, Fidelity and Culture	Well it seems that in certain parts of PI, it is common for the women to look for kano men and try to get to PI. Yet you cannot say that all women from PI are bad and only looking to get a green card. Where I live most Filipinos come through family ties or trying to bring a childhood sweetheart here. The main thing is one can never judge ones motives until meeting them and seeing where they come from. I will say this, when it works out well, then it really does. I am really happy that I have my wife from PI. Her values fit it perfect here, vs me marrying a puti from the mainland. Do you know anyone though who has kept a boyfriend on the side, while they courted a foreigner? Some of these women seem pretty successful about being able to hide it until they've finally been granted a visa and have arrived in the states. I wonder how the Consulate can do a better job of filtering out these kinds of fraudulent immigration schemes? How can the USC guard himself from this happening to him? These women seem to prey on men who are easily persuaded. Perhaps these dating sites could be more discriminant about who they allow to join? Maybe some lawsuits or some tighter regulations requiring that these dating sites do some background check on the women would greatly reduce fraud?	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-11-18 01:07:00
Philippines	Honesty, Fidelity and Culture	I'm wondering if romantic types are much more susceptible to being cheated on or doing the cheating themselves? They are the ones who are led by their emotions rather than their rationale. I believe it is not only possible for a married person (happily even), to develop romantic feelings towards someone other than their spouse, but that it is more common than people are willing to admit. However, most rationally minded people understand that romantic feelings are fleeting and are NOT the basis of real love, so they don't act on such emotional impulses. Anyhow, I am curious what others here think about infidelity and why it happens, as well as how much does culture play are part in it?	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-11-17 10:45:00
Philippines	Fraudulent Marriages	Steven, honestly I believe when there is major differences in age, attractiveness and income will open the door to being scammed. As ways to prevent these things from happening, a person has to rely on GUT INSTINCT........ If they think they are being scammed then they probably are!!! Get to know your SO family and friends.... Take your time !!!! Let the relationship grow before making any commitment to marriage.. These are just a few things that might help prevent it.... I'll let others chime in on their ways to preventing these things from happening.... Been a long day! Gotta crash!! Hi Danny! Well said. It seems though that some USC lack a gut instinct or they seem to defy common sense.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-11-17 09:50:00
Philippines	why do Pinays	This thread opened Pandora's box. There are stereotypes about Filipinos and downright embarrassing and ignorant comments from fellow Filipinos that I strongly feel I must address. Sadly, I feel my people are being poorly represented. What do we have here? People who want to marry out because they want cute children? Men who think we're all wowed by houses and cars? No sir, no ma'am. Just as there are gold-digging whites, there are gold-digging Flips. Just as there are sensible, intelligent and successful white women, there are also sensible, intelligent Filipino women. Again, it's not about the race nor is it about the citizenship. I am appalled by the poster who pointed out that Filipinas marry USC's for economic reasons. Think again. I understand your sentiment, but given that this is an immigration website where a large portion of Fil/Am couples met through some kind of dating service, all kinds of stereotypes helped in part bring many couples here together (dutiful Pinay wife, loyal, loving kano husband)...for better or worse. I'm not condoning it, but it exists here and you'll see it a lot if you stick around long enough. Edited by Galt's gallstones, 09 February 2010 - 12:45 AM.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-02-09 00:45:00
Philippines	why do Pinays	? ??????? ?????? ? ??????, ?? ?????, ????? ???????????, ?????, ??? ??????? ???????, ????? - ???? ?? ???? ?????????.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-02-08 23:52:00
Philippines	why do Pinays	It's not just White guys...but any USC who is male. I know this subject has been talked about in many threads over the years and is sometimes brought up to be controversial or confrontational, but given that the OP is a USC and female who is married to a Pinoy, I'm thinking she is honestly wanting to know. She probably could have framed the question better by asking why there are international dating sites that cater to USC males, but none that cater to USC females? IMO, all these factors play a role: Women in general look for some kind of financial stability/security in a mate. That's generally true even for American women. It is uncommon to find an American couple where the wife is more financially secure (better paying job or higher education) than the husband. At least from a practical point of view, if you are woman who would like to have children, you've got to be thinking about how you and the children can survive if you are busy having children and taking care of them. Because of that, many middle and lower income American men have trouble attracting potential mates, especially if they are not young anymore and the prospects of moving up the economic ladder are quickly fading as they advance in age. For a woman coming from a Third World country, if a man has a stable job, a modest house and a car parked in his garage, he's rich...at least in their eyes. Economic mobility - a woman from a Third World country will have a much better chance to move up the economic ladder here in America than back in her home country. There are many many Filipinos (men and women) around the world, working in different countries for that reason. It also provides them with an opportunity to help lift their families out of poverty back home. My brother-in-law, who is Filipino just moved his wife and children to be with him in Canada after working there for a couple of years away from them. Before that, he worked in Saudi Arabia, away from his family, in order to support them. So even though on the surface, it may seem shallow that there is a high percentage of older American men marrying younger Filipina's, it's more than just what's on the surface. Are the reasons any less valid than an American woman marrying an American man for his status and wealth? How many celebrities and wealthy American men do you see marrying poor American women who are not celebrities themselves? I don't think you can generalize as to the validity of Fil/Am marriages anymore than you could of other marrying trends. One more point - if it were just aesthetic (older white guy attracted to younger filipina), we'd see a high number of American men marrying FilAm women (Pinays born/raised in America), but there aren't nearly as many. That to me points back to the financial/economic factors. What's interesting is that many Fil/Am women often end up in relationships with Fil/Am men. From my observations with my wife's extended family here in the States, Fil/Am families tend to want keep their cultural identity and that plays a part in their selection of a mate.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2009-12-23 12:16:00
Philippines	My New Life...so far.	Your POE date was less than 3 weeks ago and I understand the feeling of restlessness and boredom as my wife also experienced it, but be patient as many who went through the K-1 process had to wait sometimes 6 months before they could start working. Also, you might want to lower your job expectations a little as you soon will find that many employers will want to know what kind of work experience you've had here (which understandably is nothing). My wife was practicing dentistry for 6 years in the PH and as soon as she got her Green Card, started applying for dental assistant jobs. Some of the interviews were pretty humiliating, like..."But you don't have any front office experience." In a way, you'll be starting from scratch, and may have to take an entry level position working in a hotel to start out with.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-02-19 19:19:00
Philippines	Middle names	This is interesting. This may be off-topic but I'm curious if this is the same in other states or service centers. I ask because we're having a problem about the use of middle name now that we're filling for AOS. We followed the Philippine naming convention (i.e. using my maiden name as my new middle name) in our application forms. USCIS' notices bears the name as I had it written in the forms. However, we were told during my biometrics appointment at the ASC in Michigan that the way we do it in the Philippines is not acceptable in Michigan and that we would need to file for a petition for name change and attend a court hearing if I want to use my maiden name as a new middle name. I did some reading in the forum and seem like other filipinas in other states used their maiden name as their new middle name when they filed for AOS and there was never an issue. I hope others can share their experience just so we can verify if there are state specific rules about the use of maiden name as new middle name after marriage. You might find comfort from this attorney's response to a similar question: Green Card issue: Middle name/last name after marriage I applied for I90 to change my name in the green card after marriage. I did biometrics and don't have the card yet. My concern that I have is will USCIS accept the name change I wrote in the form? You see, in my country, I automatically take my husband's last name and my maiden name becomes my middle name. So both my middle and last names changed. This is already reflected in my passport. So my question is will the USCIS accept the name change if both middle name and last names are changed and just submitting the marriage certificate and amended passport as supporting documenttation? Thanks. ..... Attorney's reply: USCIS should always accept the new identity documents issued after marriage as proof of legal name change. When you submit the supporting documentation for your I-90, include the new passport and marriage certificate, and a copy of your old passport, but if you file before they mail you the green card they will send a request asking for it. This is general information only. It is not intended as a substitute for legal advice, nor does it create an attorney-client realtionship. link	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-02-20 18:37:00
Philippines	Middle names	It is a common practice among Hispanic cultures as well. My wife did the same and it was no problem.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-02-19 11:18:00
Philippines	Seattle / Being Sick / Veggies	We went to one yesterday. It was only $28 for the visit + meds. She felt better instantly after taking some antibiotics, but still has some work to go. Glad to hear she's feeling better and that it didn't cost an arm and a leg. When you two cook, use a lot of garlic.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-02-20 21:58:00
Philippines	Seattle / Being Sick / Veggies	I have been researching on possible doctors that we can go to. If you have a name in mind, please let me know. Thank you guys! /hug Look for a local community health clinic near where you live. Most of them are walk-in clinics that charge on a sliding scale based on you ability to pay. CVS pharmacies also have minute clinics, but be prepared to pay as much $60 for a visit.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-02-19 01:47:00
Philippines	Seattle / Being Sick / Veggies	Sorry you are not feeling well. I usually take ibuprofen, along with drinking lots of hot green tea when I've got a sore throat. My wife and I also started out with really different tastes in food, and it was a bit stressful when she first arrived here, but now after 3 years, we're a bit more accepting of each others taste. One thing that I think helped is that I love Filipino food, so right away, I was taking my wife to the local asian markets so she could prepare the foods she was more accustomed to. Then we'd try to different places to eat out and she gradually developed a taste for Mexican food (I could eat it everyday and not get tired of it). One thing she insisted in the beginning - having a Coke with almost every meal. We eventually switched to Coke Zero and then fairly recently, cut back on any soda, except when eating out. We also recently bought brown Jasmine rice and surprisingly, both my wife and 9 yr. old stepson liked it. My wife still tends to be really picky about what she'll eat, but when we do go out to eat now, we have a list of restaurants she likes...Japanese noodles, Mexican, Indian, Chinese, Greek, and anything buffet. When eating veggies at home, she likes broccoli, baby bok choy (pechay?), kangkong, asparagus, cabbage, green beans.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-02-18 06:06:00
Philippines	k1 approved but not pursuing the marriage	1. I just want to ask what shall I do with my visa? leave it like that and let it expire? or shall I inform the embassy regarding the changes of our plans? I would contact the US Embassy that issued the visa because it is good for up to 12 months from the date of issuance and keeping it valid while you try to obtain a tourist visa might cause a delay or denial. I'm wondering though about your chances of being approved a tourist visa given that you applied for a K-1? The U.S. Embassy is notorious for denying tourist visas to young, single women in general.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-02-23 01:02:00
Philippines	a question for the guys here that have there loved ones with them now!!!	i know this might be a little bit of a hot topic but I was curious....please read between the lines on this question......we have talked about waiting a couple to 3 years till we start having kids .........uuuuummmmmm.....I know I can get her on my insurance when we get married (that is in 6 weeks) ......beside the obvious .....is there any type of program or a service that she can go to to get a thing she may need before that so she doesnt get prgo right away? Please dont blast me for this question!!! She can use vaginal contraceptive gel. You can find it alongside the condoms. A condom is going to be your safest bet though.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-02-20 21:54:00
Philippines	NO CLUE WHATS GOING ON!	for myself te, I can feel that he loves me. He doesn't like arguments that he said I always build. Yes, we argued coz of her and I agree with him. It's unfair for my side that he has friend to run and I don't. He only acts like that if I build up arguments with him. His mom told me that he really don't like it. He told me couple of days ago that he loves me but he never expected that the marriage gone this way and so did I. But I can't just sit and shut my mouth. Btw, His mom is in my side. You've got to stop referring to love as a feeling because it is much more than that. He may have warm fuzzy, sentimental, he's-gonna-cry-his-eyes-out-and-beg-for-you-to-stay feelings, but that's not real love. Real love is standing by your commitment, it's about maturity, respect, trust and trustworthiness. Based on his actions, he doesn't love you...not in any mature, real sense. Sorry.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-01-14 17:32:00
Philippines	NO CLUE WHATS GOING ON!	He changed, i never expected this to happen. he is very good in his words and thought he's right. One thing that i like about him is whenever i am pissed and upset about all this issues he always find ways to make me feel that he loves me, i doubted his love. i dont know how exacly know what love is. You can know a person's heart by their actions, mostly. It's just unfortunate with a lot of these long distance romances, there's mostly talking during the courtship and not much action. Listen to your own rationale and your heart. You may be in-love, but that's not the kind of love that makes marriages last. After the first couple of years, the in-love fades, and that's when your partner's character really counts. You stop seeing them as you hoped them to be and you start seeing them for who they really are. But you don't have to wait that long as his actions have already showed you who he truly is. The guy's a loser and you deserve better. I'm going to chime in here and offer a bit of advice, as well as my thoughts as to what may have happened here. It sounds like you were your husband's back-up plan, after his attempt to court the "friend" appeared futile. I think it's obvious he has feelings for her or he would never have pursued her in the first place. I also believe the friend is playing games with him, as well as you. She enjoyed the feeling of being chased by your husband and probably thought his courting her would end once he got married to you. Now, she is just testing him, seeing how much power she really has over him, by trying to come between you two. Your husband may have feelings for her, but I doubt if she really has feelings for him. It seems she's just enjoying her role of interfering in your relationship. I've seen this many times. Once the thrill of the chase is over, the woman suddenly loses interest and dumps the guy. Unfortunately, this knowledge is not of much use to you, other than to understand the woman's motives for trying to make your husband break his sacred vows. Therefore, I am going to suggest that you try a strategy that is opposite to that of what most everyone else here has suggested. Do not show your husband any more jealousy and do not question him about his whereabouts when he leaves. Just pretend that it doesn't matter and that you do not care what he does. In fact, you should take a few mystery disappearances yourself (even if it is just a walk around the block). If your husband does really care about you, he may start to turn his focus back to you. If not he will run to the other woman and you will eventually learn to get over him. By acting like you don't care now, it will help you learn how to deal with the situation if it really does result in him choosing the other woman. Also, if you wish to remain in the US (even if it means you'll be by yourself), it is very possible to do so, even if you and your husband end up getting a divorce. You entered the marriage in good faith, even if your husband did not. The USCIS will not fault you for that. However, they will expect for you to be able to financially support yourself. Excellent advice.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-01-04 19:09:00
Philippines	NO CLUE WHATS GOING ON!	Just friends or BF/GF, going over to her place at 2am and leaving you behind is inexcusable. No offense, but I don't think your husband is the guy you think he is. You may feel romantically in love with some fantasy of who you imagined him to be, but he's really a self-centered jackass. You can try for marriage counseling but my honest opinion, the quicker you end your relationship with him, the better off you'll be. Don't let the warm fuzzy feelings of romantic love cloud your rational mind to do what is right. You deserve better.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-01-04 12:26:00
Philippines	THE ESSENTIAL FILIPINO	This is obviously some kind of spam email based on the formatting and therefore most likely an exaggerated, anecdotal story. While you may find some very poor Filipinos with expensive mp3 players, you'll also find them with expensive shoes, clothing, sunglasses....just about anything that is regarded as western symbols of material wealth. They are in fact fascinated and drawn to our western culture of consumerism. And most often, they get these very expensive items from relatives living abroad. This journalist didn't venture very far...he could have just gone to a local church during Sunday Mass and looked at the parking lot filled expensive cars that contrast against the many poor who ride in jeepney's or hubble-hubble to get around in. The disparity between the rich and poor in the Philippines is not a model that any other country, especially a developed country should ever aspire to. Yes, you will find many poor Filipinos who are happy, but you're kidding yourself if you believe that they don't want the same things that you want, or for that matter possess. Edited by Galt's gallstones, 01 March 2010 - 04:00 PM.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-03-01 11:16:00
Philippines	Cooking in the US?	Magic Sarap has MSG in it and can be made with other ingredients. I think the whole controversy over MSG is a bit overdone. Tomatoes, for example, contain MSG naturally. Same with Parmesan cheese...naturally high in MSG. That said, I do agree there are other ways to boost the taste of what you are cooking that are better for you (garlic, onion are great). I think the product, Magic Sarap, just makes it easier to boost the flavor without doing much. Get yourself a garlic press.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2010-03-02 14:12:00