ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
PhilippinesHow did you get married in US?

This is also a big issue for us, not because of family intervention, but because of lack of family. I only have my 2 teenagers who live in my city. My sister will come; she is the only other family who can or would attend. So my idea was a small ceremony probably in our home with those few family members and a few friends.

 

Janet agrees but I always wonder since I know she dreams of the big church wedding. I am not Catholic, so besides the time obstacle, that's a big obstacle. I want her to be happy but not try to go wild in the 90 days we have to get married (and we don't want to wait very long).

 

And of course like many others, I want to return to PI next year for a wedding or big party for her family.

 

I am open to suggestions.

 

I do like the Skype suggestion to try to involve friends and family back home. Also the B&B idea might be nicer than the home. I just don't want to stress everyone out (namely me) in a short period of time.


Edited by davenjanet, 17 June 2013 - 03:07 PM.

davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-06-17 15:06:00
PhilippinesCalling the Philippines from US

Skype to go is the best. Buy an unlimited subscription for calls to the US for about $6.00 for a month. Buy it under her skype account.  Then in the options generate a local phillipines landline number for her to call you on , it will ring straight on your mobile, so no need for you to get a landline. She pays for a local call and you just the minutes you use on you mobile phone. You also don't need internet access for the call.

I use Skype to go calling from the US to the Philippines, but I did not think it is available for the Philippines to call the US. At least PI is not listed on the Skype site as a place you can subscribe. So how did you do it?


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-06-17 15:13:00
Philippinesreceiving the visa after interview,,

For my wife the interview was 21 March, the visa arrived April 4th (wife lived in Makati area).  You can do the math on that.

 

I think you "may" be OK... but still that is a big MAY.   

 

Where in the Phils is your fiancée?

She'll be with her family in Alcoy, Cebu but she is having the visa delivered via 2go at Ayala Mall.

 

The next available flights that work for me would be leaving Manila August 12th, so that might be safer.


Edited by davenjanet, 02 July 2013 - 02:43 PM.

davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-07-02 14:39:00
Philippinesreceiving the visa after interview,,

How likely is it to go beyond 2 weeks? Janet has her interview on July 23rd. I am scheduled to fly into PI August 2nd and leave with her August 8th. I know the standard refrain - don't book anything till you have the Visa in hand. But it's pretty hard to coordinate one rt flight, a one way flight, work schedule, kid schedule, etc. at the last minute. So I was willing to risk it - it gives us 15 days between the interview and the last day before we are to fly out.

 

OTOH if going over 2 weeks is common I might have to rethink this all.

 

Opinions?


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-07-02 12:19:00
Philippinestravel agency

 

Glad to see someone else can vouch for them too smile.png

I have to say on the other hand that I emailed them several times and never received a reply. Finally I just booked online.


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-07-03 14:58:00
PhilippinesAnybody noticed a slow down at NVC

Now its rock 'n' roll time!!  kicking.gif  

 

Did you call to get the MNL # or email NVC?

 

I called daily from about 1 week on.


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-06-25 16:42:00
PhilippinesAnybody noticed a slow down at NVC

Just an update: Received MNL# today. So it took 20 days, 14 working days. I guess they were accurate when they initially said 15 working days.


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-06-24 15:45:00
PhilippinesAnybody noticed a slow down at NVC

So excitedly we received our NOA2 16 days ago. I started calling NVC daily after about a week hoping for the number. Each time I was told (no surprise) that it takes about 15 days. I called the next day anyway. Same answer. Since yesterday was 15 days, when told that we were still not in the system, I replied that it has been 15 days. The response I received, "we are slow now and it will take 3-4 weeks." Has anyone else heard this or are they just trying to save their butts?

 

Of course now that I am bitching about this, I will probably get the number today :)


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-06-20 15:05:00
PhilippinesAnother CFO Problem

An update: Janet met with the CFO woman again on Monday. We had practiced several times and I think she went in much more confident. She also read the comments on this thread.

 

The CFO woman is a psychologist and did not exactly back off. From what I was told she once again grilled Janet pretty well, asking the same questions again and again. But in the end they had a good conversation and Janet was approved!

 

Clearly the woman's biggest concern was whether I am a bad guy and that Janet needed to know what to do just in case that turns out to be the case.

 

Thanks to everyone for their input. Now on to the embassy interview!


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-07-22 11:43:00
PhilippinesAnother CFO Problem

The letter may be dismissed by the CFO. What they want now is to see your fiance stand up for herself because if she can't stand up for herself to them she is not likely to stand up to you. Unlike the US Embassy (which is working on the assumption that your fiance is possibly attempting to use fraud to enter the US illegally and wants evidence to the contrary) the CFO is working on the assumption that you have brainwashed, coerced, or bribed a young woman into relationship that is not in her best interest and wants to see evidence to prove their viewpoint wrong.

 

The reason for the sudden spike in issues at the CFO has been reportedly because of a few higher profile cases that have caused trouble for the CFO for allowing women to leave the Philippines that have turned into human trafficking and spousal abuse nightmares. The CFO now wants to make sure that every possible chance is made to dissuade emigration if there is any possibility that there could be a potential problem for them in the future.

I agree that they want to hear her confidence. But I feel helpless and thought a note from me might help to show who I am (not a human trafficker, for example). But I certainly want to know what others think. If my letter is inappropriate I dont what her to use it.


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-07-18 22:11:00
PhilippinesAnother CFO Problem

Here is the letter I wrote to CFO:

 

 

To Whom It May Concern:
 
My name is David Weisbord and I am Janet Pillazo's fiance. I understand from Janet that you are questioning the validity of our relationship and I wanted to address a few of the issues she told me.
 
I think that Janet may be a bit shy and intimidated by an authority figure. Therefore while she may give you accurate answers she may not feel she can come across in a way you might hope for. I have no such problem.
 
The basics: Janet and I met online late in 2011. We chatted casually a few times and spoke on camera several times. I thought she was a very sweet person but at that point I was taking things slowly. Therefore, with the exception of a few brief messages, I do not have any saved chats or long emails from 2011. We simply were not in a relationship at that time.
 
During the 1st half of 2012 we were becoming closer friends and getting to know each other. But it was not until July of 2012 that we began to seriously consider each other as potential partners. I decided to visit Janet and Janet alone in October of 2012. At that point I not only spent a wonderful time with Janet but traveled to meet her family in Alcoy, Cebu. She has a large family and they were all very nice to me and I was honored at the time they spent to get to know me.
 
By the time we met in October we certainly knew we were in love with each other. Her family asked when I would return and visit them again and I told them in April 2013. After our October trip we decided we wanted to spend our lives together and began putting together the documents needed to file for the K-1 Visa, which I did in January 2013. By this time we were planning our April trip, meeting with the parents, where I formally asked their permission to marry Janet. 
 
While Janet and I were already engaged and the K-1 had been filed, I formally asked for her hand in marriage and presented her with an engagement ring when I returned in April. We met with her family which accepted me as her fiance, and then had a wonderful and fun week together traveling to Thailand.
 
We announced our engagement to all our friends, and posted engagement pics on Facebook. By the way, we were engaged at Lantaw Floating Island Restaurant in Mactan.
 
Our relationship: As you know I am older and therefore a bit cautious. But once I fall in love I am totally committed. I love Janet with all my heart and am committed to spending the rest of my life with her. She will join me here in the US, but once I retire we will spend lots of time in the Philippines and perhaps relocate there. 
 
As to Janet's feelings for me, I have no doubt whatsoever that she loves me totally. For a year and a half she has been completely consistent in her feelings toward me. I am her first true partner and while I know she has had opportunities with others, I am honored that she chose me. I believe in her commitment toward me and know that she is a completely faithful partner.
 
I understand that you have a job to do. I also understand that some Filipinas may wish to emigrate abroad and get into relationships with Americans that may not be totally based on love. That is not the case with Janet!!
 
Yes, she is a mature young woman who has been looking for a mature man with whom she can form a stable relationship based on love and care. But please believe that our relationship is totally based on love. She is changing her life and giving up a great deal for me and I am honored she would choose to do so. Everyone who knows us knows that our relationship is genuine. My sister for example loves Janet and is very anxious to become sister in-laws. 
 
Janet is in fact the most honest person I have ever known. You can trust what she says, as I do. 
 
Thanks for reading this and getting to know Janet. 
 
Sincerely,
 
David Weisbord

davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-07-18 21:22:00
PhilippinesAnother CFO Problem

Just curious - was she asked for the chat logs, or did she did she offer it to the Counselor?

I think she was asked for them and the woman said she would read them later; she also gave them pictures and phone records. I think Janet was stunned and intimidated, which is not her usual nature. I think she said the right things but was shy and unconfident in doing so.

 

From what I could gather the woman brought up age gap and whether Janet's family supports our marriage (which they do). I am trying to re-build Janet's confidence, since she meets the woman again on Monday and has her interview on Tuesday.

 

If it were me I would be a bit angry, and consider it my right to fall in love with and marry whomever I wish. I told Janet that I would look at such comments as insulting. But Janet is a Filipina, not a direct American. She needs to speak up confidently and I hope I can encourage her to do so.

 

Since she is meeting with the woman again Monday, I am considering sending a note to the woman from me. What do you guys think of that?


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-07-18 12:18:00
PhilippinesAnother CFO Problem

 I am a little confused, CFO does not have consuls.  Sounds like her interview at the Embassy more than CFO


Nope, she just got the terms confused.

The woman who interviewed her definitely intimidated her, took all the chat logs which she said she would read. They will meet again Monday.

I just encouraged Janet to act confident about our relationship.

If she is failed and has to do the CFO again, will they have records to indicate she already failed once?







davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-07-18 07:52:00
PhilippinesAnother CFO Problem

Janet went to do her CFO in Manila yesterday. She had chat records and emails from 2012 and 2013 but the consul asked for records from 2011. We met online about November 1st 2011 and were not in a relationship till 2012 so there was no reason to keep chat logs. Nonetheless I did manage to find her original friend request of me from Cherry Blossoms and a couple other notes she sent me via the Cherry Blossoms system.

 

She says that in general the guy was very hard on her, particularly over the age gap issue.

 

Why would they care about chat logs from the time we first chatted and is there anything else I can do about it?


Edited by davenjanet, 17 July 2013 - 09:43 PM.

davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-07-17 21:34:00
PhilippinesAge gap difference in Philippines

I'm getting a kick out of this because my wife was just describing the large age differences at the required govt counseling classes today. "20 marrying a 64, Ugh!!!" is an exact quote.

What ever happened to Age / 2 + 7? I can understand Filipina liking an older, mature man but we're quickly approaching creepy levels when a guy targets only women in their 20's on internet dating or matchmaking sites. When I look at a couple and assume they're a grandfather and granddaughter going for a walk until there's a really awkward kiss I get a shiver up my spine.

70 and 20? From a government perspective sure, knock yourself out. From a "what were you thinking!?" perspective,.. You've got a 2 generation gap in addition to a cultural one. Going to go to a concert together? What about rock-climbing?

"My soul-mate was an 18 year old super model!" seems like you're looking for all the wrong things and perpetuates a negative stereotype. We're built to fall in love and many relationships can be real but I have to worry about any woman looking for an extremely elderly man.

I'm curious about the 50+ year old guys. I'm pretty sure some have children from a previous relationship. Would you be ok with your 20 year old daughter marrying a retired 60 year old?







 

The guy doing the whole daughter/wife thing? I don't even know where to start there..

As you can see from the comments, there are many relationships here where there is an age gap. I know many such people and they have happy marriages/relationships. OTOH I know many American marriages with a more "appropriate" age gap that are miserable and end in divorce.

 

When it comes to marriage and sex some people will judge based on differences in age, nationality, race, religion, politics, economic status, etc. The wise man and woman follow their hearts not whether some stranger says "ugh".

 

If you think it's creepy, then by all means don't do it.

 

As to differing musical tastes, the only issue my fiancé and I have,is not the generational gap, but the fact that I suck at karaoke.

 

As to rock climbing, my fiancé's never done it. Guess she'll have to learn to keep up :)


Edited by davenjanet, 22 July 2013 - 11:37 AM.

davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-07-22 11:36:00
PhilippinesOne day medical at St. Lukes

My fiancée was there at 3am and didn't get 1 day medical. She was told they do one day medical if your interview is very close.

Janet's interview was 8 days later (happening right now in fact). So it was not very close.

 

Perhaps this whole thing is based on being early and random luck.


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-07-22 22:43:00
PhilippinesOne day medical at St. Lukes

Janet had me wake her up at 3:00AM to get to St. Lukes bright and early. Even then she was only number 12 in line. She whipped through the procedures and they let her leave for lunch, telling her to return at 1:30. We talked over lunch and it sounded like she had done almost everything and she said they told her she might have her vaccinations after lunch. "No way," I told her. "That is day two." Sure enough when we talked after the day was over, she returned, had her vaccinations, got her CD and was all done.

 

Is the one day medical common, a new procedure, or did they take one look at Janet and decide "this girl looks healthy - push her through?"


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-07-15 11:27:00
PhilippinesISSUED status July 24,2013

Janet had her interview just a few days ago, July 23rd.

 

Today the status on CEAC changed to Issued! So that changed in only 3 days.

 

But on the Traveldocs site it says "Your passport is still with post" What does this mean?

 

And of course the 2Go site says the number in invalid, which I assume means they haven't picked it up yet.

 

 

 


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-07-26 11:50:00
PhilippinesOk !!! Why are so Many Filipina's Connecting Up with American Men......???

Well this thread was an interesting read. That is until the R&P crowd came in and derailed it shortly after the feminazis brought them over.

Back to topic, the post by Juliet and Steve was spot on for many who come here, although, from a personal experience, some of these points were hit (we find each other extremely physically attractive for the reasons he listed) and some miss (I'm not interested in gaining her submission in the pre-60's traditional sense, nor is she poor or cannot work) in regards to my fiance and I.

We just ran across each other in a public forum similar to this one and started talking, found each other attractive and compatible, fell in love, and it went from there. Same story as any geniune relationship really. It just so happens the inconvenience of being in different countries at the moment. Signs that she or I was interested for other reasons would have manifested themselves long ago, and simply haven't.

As far as the stereotypical reasons, our age difference is only 13 years and she is over 30. What's more, she has asked me to move there, and we compromised (that we would retire to there in 20 years).





I agree that Steve's posting was the highlight of the thread and got derailed. 

 

As he said that "S" word is a hot button for many people: women who do not want to consider themselves to be submissive; and men who do not want to consider themselves to be unenlightened neanderthals. Steve substituted the word "feminine" but even that raises the blood pressure for many. I think the words get in the way of a basically valid concept. I was around back in that "traditional" era and there was certainly not one size fits all; not every man was Ward Cleaver; not every woman June Cleaver. But I will say that men and women accepted that they were fundamentally different and were OK (and even reveled in) the difference. Whether that made the men more dominant and the women more submissive I don't know, but there was a more distinct difference, which IMO works better than what we have in the West today. Attraction is created by difference and that difference between men and women can be observed strongly in RP.

 

I was at a party recently with about 25 Fil-Am couples. As many such parties go, the men and women separated; the guys drank, ate, and shot the breeze; the women laughed, sang karaoke and periodically checked up on their men. The feminine energy generated by the Filipinas was compelling. Whether that's caused by attitude, upbringing, lack of feminism, or just a strong excess of estrogen, it was exactly what I love about Filipinas.


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-08-01 00:47:00
PhilippinesOk !!! Why are so Many Filipina's Connecting Up with American Men......???

1)  Economics.  This is a multi-pronged subject.  Filipinas have a cultural mandate to be a bastion of support for the family.  A woman over the age of 25-30 in RP (Philippines) is considered "old" related to finding/keeping a job.  This blatant age discrimination in RP affects men too, but perhaps not to the same extent.  Even for Filipinas under the age of 25 job opportunities are rare.  Thus the mandate to be able to support the family is difficult.  Foreign lands offer less age discrimination.  Foreign men, especially those who can travel to RP offer economic support.  These men are also likely to be able to keep their career intact with no or little age discrimination.

 

2)  At the risk of drawing the ire of some, Filipino males have an undesirable (broadly speaking--of course there are exceptions) set of mores.  Mores are cultural/moral values.  The machismo attitude runs deep in RP culture. It likely comes from RP's Spanish heritage. It is common for males to woo young females, impregnate them, and then dump them as now being worthless.  Philippine men cheat.  Again, though there are exceptions, the cultural mores come into play.  A male who has the resources to me married and have children and who decides to maintain a second household with a kabit (mistress) is not looked down upon.  Though not openly admired, most even within the family will tolerate this, and some will even clandestinely admire the male.  Filipina's on the other hand rarely cheat.  The book "Lust in Translation" tells that only Tibet and Ghana has women with this level of fidelity.  We can ignore Ghana as a male who finds his wife cheating might kill her--a good reason to be faithful.  This leaves RP's women very desirable in the eyes of many Westerners who find the mores of Western women with their "Sex in the City" attitude and their lack of fidelity undesirable.

 

3) Filipinas want white!  It is utterly ironic that most Western women admire and try to emulate through tanning the skin color of many Filipinas.  Western men enjoy women who are not pasty white--we like all shades of Filipina.  Filipinas want their babies to be white and they are smart enough to know how to attain this.

 

4)  Many Americans are culturally adaptable and most are polite and considerate (and indeed, there are exceptions).  This runs in opposition to other nationalities such as the Koreans and Chinese.  I apologize to those of Korean and Chinese heritage who might be here and realize again, there are exceptions--but having traveled a bit the Koreans and Chinese unless you are friends with one seem by and large simply rude and inconsiderate.

 

5) Filipinas crave stability.  Young men, worldwide do not offer the type of stability--but older men do. (same 'ol caveat--a generalization)  Filipinas are age-difference tolerant.  In 1972 I remember reading an article that said that the average American woman desired a male partner 2-10 years older than them.  Today if that article would be re-written the statistics would likely indicate that American women now want male partners 2-10 years younger than them.  This creates a situation where RP offers what American men want, and had until the feminist movement changed things.  I, at my age, am, generally speaking, not what American women want and they, especially from their attitudes/morels/mores are not what I want.  And I, at my age, value a woman who wants a lifetime relationship and have found one.

 

6) As others have pointed out: America is a melting pot.  Everyone can fit in.  America has its share of problems these days, but it's still a wonderful country to move to.

 

7)  American men want sumbissive women.  Oops...who wrote that--not me, where is the erase button.

 

Indeed, this is a loaded subject and all too often misunderstood.  To some "submissive" means that a Filipina might become a sort of slave, or second class citizen, kept barefoot and penniless down on the farm and be subjected to the sexual whims of the dominant male.  Yet I believe that though this concept might exist--it is rather rare, and really not what most American men desire.

 

I prefer to remove the word "submissive," and as another poster here has done--interject the word "feminine." 

 

Back in the '60's most women in America stayed home and raised kids while the husband worked.  The husband made the decisions.  This is far from the case today, in America most women work--indeed most have to work--such is the economics of today.  But what it's really about is that the women of the sixties at least seemed happy to have a nice home, a loving husband and happy children.  Women of today in America, at least to me, all too many have become "independent," or rather beyond independent.  They don't need a husband--in fact millions are better off with no husband to worry about.  America's nanny state gives a single mom quite a lot.  Subsidized or free housing; free medical; free education (college) and oftentimes even assist the single mom in buying a car.  In my opinion America's changed to where marriage is a negative thing and as girls become women in their fatherless environment--the need for keeping a husband around has taken on less importance.  For me the close family values that the Philippines espouse is a treasure.  That a Filipina is more likely to be happy with the basic necessities of life is a refreshing alternative to the last two American women who I dated about 5 years ago.  Both, after a nice dinner, as I walked them to their car said exactly the same thing: Smiling each said: "Oh, which is your car?"  I responded: "the older blue Honda Accord."  Both reacted the same--there appeared an odd look on their face that might have had a bit of disgust in it.  Neither asked: "Why do you drive such an old car?" (Note: It looks nice to me and runs quite nicely, but it is 11 years old)  Had either asked, my answer would have been: "I don't place much status value on having to have a new car--I'd rather not have $400 a month car payments (or $800 a month with two cars) and I prefer to pay off the mortgage on my house or use the money for investing.  Though I had a nice time with both of them--neither responded to further calls or emails.  Sadly--if you don't have a new car in America, a large percentage of women will write you off.  It's a terrible thing too as so many men become so stretched out on debt to maintain the supposed status of the new car and big "dollhouse," (a big fancy house) that eventually it is this very economic loop of debt that destroys their lives and their relationships.  Filipinas tend not to be particularly materialistic.  They seem to be happy with a nice house and a car that runs.  I like that.

 

8) Filipinas don't smoke and don't like smoking.  This is not the case of way too many American women.

 

9) We American males are astounded at how beautiful all the Filipinas are.

 

I began to read this and though, "uh oh - here we go again. Another list of fool stereotypes." But in fact, as others said, you hit most of the high points very well.

 

Of course you did miss out on the fact that we kanos all have beautiful long noses :)


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-07-31 15:19:00
PhilippinesTime from interview to visa...to minimize

So my fiance will be having her embassy interview next week. I guess she has the option of having the visa delivered to Tacloban where she lives for pick-up, or have it delivered to MOA in Mania.

 

I'm sure there is some variation, but what would be the difference in days to be delivered to Tacloban vs 2go at MOA? I'm thinking if it is going to be significantly longer to get to Tacloban, then it might be better to have it delivered to MOA, and she can pick it up a couple of days before her flight to the US.

Based on an experience we just had today, there is one thing to consider.

 

Janet decided to have the visa and passport delivered to 2go at Ayala Mall in Cebu instead of her provincial home for speed purposes. I had been checking on the 2go site for a week and no update. But a couple days ago she received a text saying the visa was ready for pick up. Yet still on the website it did not show it as delivered.

 

She called 2go in Cebu and sure enough it was there! However, they told her if she did not pick it up by the 4th it would be returned! That means they were only going to keep it for 5 or 6 days before returning it to Manila. She was intending to go to Cebu on Tues. the 6th but they would not keep it. So she has to go to Cebu tomorrow (3rd), return home and go back on the 6th to meet me.

 

All things considered I am not sure the 2go service ended up being more convenient :)

 

But of course the main thing is that she will have her Visa and we will be ready to go.

 

Good luck to you!


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-08-02 13:25:00
PhilippinesMarrying wth a prenup contract?

A pre-nup does not necessarily override the divorce laws in your state. Therefore you may still owe alimony to an ex-spouse or child support if there were children in the marriage. 

 

It's a tough call for both the man and the woman but in some cases there are legitimate reasons to do it.


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-08-03 14:34:00
PhilippinesBeing Judge By Other People

Not to be too indiscrete but when it comes to marriage and love, people are ultimately thinking about one thing - sex. If you said that your best most trusted friend was from the Philippines, no one would care one bit; in fact they would probably applaud you. It is that you are sleeping with someone from a different culture.

 

I am older and Jewish. When I was young the worst thing I could do was marry a non-Jew. Mixed marriages meant a jew and a Christian. Few people considered inter-racial relationships.

 

So what did I do? I married an African-American! When people asked if my family had objections about her I said, "They don't care about her color. But the fact that she isn't Jewish..." lol!

 

So at some point people started accepting marriages between different religions. Then they focused their judgment on inter-racial marriages. Then that became more accepted so they re-focused their judgment on same sex relationships. Today even those are being accepted.

 

Today, no one has given me a hard time because Janet is from a different culture/country. OTOH many people have commented on our age difference. That has become a subject of judgment for some people in our culture. Honestly, the reasons they give me are so similar to the reasons people "worried" about my first marriage to that African-American woman almost 30 years ago.

 

I guess my point is that some people are compelled to judge others when it comes to sex. They give a lot of excuses (green card fraud, what will you have in common, etc.) But in the end they just don't want to imagine you sleeping with each other, which is fine with me; I don't want them thinking of it either - they might get jealous!

 

Of course as everyone has said, enjoy your life, enjoy your love. All relationships involve risk. Take the risk and love every second of it!


Edited by davenjanet, 16 August 2013 - 03:51 PM.

davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-08-16 15:49:00
PhilippinesEmbassy dress code?

No Dress code required but you must wear the appropriate attire

and  prove to them that you are worth for their approval.


davenjanetMalePhilippines2013-09-04 12:02:00
PhilippinesWhat is with the Philippines and hacked email accounts?
I would suggest adding two-step verification to accounts that support it. It can save a lot of hassle, and also protect yourself from losing accounts. GMail with Google Authenticator works well if you're using a smartphone, otherwise text messages are sent. I believe Yahoo also has two-step authentication now but without an app just text messages.
Chris&MaureenMalePhilippines2013-04-25 01:40:00
PhilippinesBuying one way ticket from Manila to San Francisco on Orbitz for fiancee..

It seems like it depends on the airline you choose and how strict they are at following Philippine law. It looks like others have been able to successfully purchase a ticket from the states using things like Orbitz. I couldn't do it directly with Korean Air, but I just used a online travel agent based in the Philippines.  I don't know for sure, but Orbitz and some of the other online booking agencies here may have a presence in the Philippines in some form and they are able to complete the booking.  

 

Hope this helps a little :)  


Chris&MaureenMalePhilippines2013-06-12 21:41:00
PhilippinesFlights to US - specials and any restrictions

 

I've heard of people mentioning that before, but never had any problem purchasing from the USA when I bought through the airline. Maybe its because they have offices there and accept payments directly. What airlines were you trying to book through?

 

Forgot to mention, I had to do this with Korean Air... even calling them at the Manila office they said they could not unless we went through a travel agent so that is what we ended up doing for the one way ticket.


Chris&MaureenMalePhilippines2013-06-12 15:36:00
PhilippinesFlights to US - specials and any restrictions

Shouldn't have to leave from Manila, so if you can find one from Cebu should be fine like Caryh said.

 

Will be making the flight ourselves next month, using Korean Air a bit more compared to the others but that is where my miles were.

 

To comment on Vancouver, BC connection though, shouldn't be a problem just like going through Japan/Korea, but anytime I have gone through Vancouver even as a USC they ask a lot of questions, the line is slow, and I find it not as pleasant. It is nothing like just driving across the border. So I try to come back via Seattle being from Portland. 


Chris&MaureenMalePhilippines2013-06-12 15:23:00
PhilippinesClothes Advice for My Filipina Wife
Where can I find her something like this?

Posted Image

Or this?

Posted Image
one...two...treeMalePhilippines2011-08-18 18:30:00
PhilippinesClothes Advice for My Filipina Wife
If it was entirely up to me, I'd have her shop exclusively at Walmart for her wardrobe, but apparently my fashion sense is just above that of a whino's. So I was wondering if anyone had any tips on how to shop for clothes for her? Miniskirts with long boots? Low cut blouses? Are there any clothing stores that cater to arm candy with discriminating tastes?
one...two...treeMalePhilippines2011-08-18 17:08:00
PhilippinesIsang Litrong Liwanag
one...two...treeMalePhilippines2011-09-19 16:42:00
Philippineshelp with mama
Wow, Darren's gettin hammered for being the most brazen chauvinist here. While he certainly brings a lot on himself, he's more like the kid in the neighborhood who wants to be in the gang more than the gang members themselves, and is willing to do the craziest of things to get in. I say welcome to the gang, Darren. You're keeping things real here. :thumbs:


My only advice to you, Darren, is help Gretchen meet Filipinos in your area. I honestly think that's the only thing that will give your marriage a fighting chance to survive. Do it right away. Take her to Mass, take her to an asian market, go to the local hospital - any place where you are likely to run into other Filipinos in your area.

Edited by DFH, 21 September 2011 - 05:01 PM.

one...two...treeMalePhilippines2011-09-21 16:57:00
Philippineshow will i work as a nurse?

The steps are on the link I posted.


:thumbs:
one...two...treeMalePhilippines2011-08-09 13:23:00
Philippineshow will i work as a nurse?

Of course you can work just pass the NCLEX exam and wait, before you start thinking of working you need a working permit first also known as EAD (Employment Authorization Document). Girl your hands full of things to do so good luck and happy wedding and married life to you soon. God bless.


Just to add that try and search for a foreign nurse support group where you can find a lot of good information on the steps you need to take to be able to work in the states as a nurse.
one...two...treeMalePhilippines2011-08-09 11:27:00
PhilippinesLove Doesn't Conquer All

People know their bad sides, for them to think they can hide it from their spouse is ridiculous on their part. Everyone has good days and bad days, that is to be expected, but not revealing sides of ones self that they "know" are not good or acceptable at the beginning of the courting is just wrong. Putting your best foot forward has little value for a lasting relationship, putting your worse foot forward and finding the other person still there is of value. To do otherwise you are not only lying to the other person, you are lying to yourself.

Sure there are lots of discoveries during a marriage but for the most part those should be nuances as you move closer and closer to the person - not #######!! kind of things.

I have been married before and this was my approach back then and it worked quite well (...sadly no one can prepare for cancer). Talk about everything in the beginning, even the silly little things; How do you put your cups and glasses in the cupboard? TP, over or under? Favorite foods. Snoring - yup I do that one. Music. Movies. Sports. Hobbies. Which side of the bed?

I continual strive to learn more and more about Amy and of course keep no secrets.

I read on here of a guy that made of list of what foods his Fiancee is allowed to eat and then gave it to her!!! Good grief!! #######!!!???? Where does he get off with that one?

Acceptance and Respect.... know it. learn it, live it.

JMOSHO!


I agree that communicating like that helps both spouses have realistic expectations, however, most people are in denial of their problems or issues (I don't have a drinking problem), so they don't say anything. So a Filipina who leaves her entire life behind to live with a man she's not seen in his own habitat has few options should she only find out after she's arrived. And who is to say whether she should simply leave because he's got a drinking problem? Maybe she now considers it her problem too? The whole unconditional love and commitment thingy that so many Kanos find appealing. IMO, these Filipinas are clearly at a disadvantage because the Kano can more easily hide certain behaviors from her until she gets here with her having no other place to go or person to turn to. Understanding that from both sides and doing your best to minimize that disadvantage would go a long way in avoiding the all-too-often situation where the Kano comes on to a forum like this one and claims that the whole relationship was a scam and she's only in it for the Green Card. That's an easy cop out from facing the fact that maybe he needs to modify his behavior and attitude.

Edited by Mister Fancypants, 11 November 2011 - 11:38 AM.

one...two...treeMalePhilippines2011-11-11 11:36:00
PhilippinesLove Doesn't Conquer All

For sure a relationship requires adjusting to each other. But to expect a person to change dramatically is unreal expectations - if they are doing things you can't accept, the odds are better you don't marry them. And if they are not honest in the beginning about this... shame on them. :o


Yep. Unfortunately, a lot of these long distant courtships make it easier for a spouse to hide a drinking problem, or that they like to put their fist through the wall when they get angry. Then, by the time the Filipina has gone through all the legal hoops to get here to be with her Kano, she really has no 'out' except through extreme circumstances and even then, she has no one familiar to turn to.

For the USC, if it's unacceptable behavior coming from the Filipina, he has little options available to him besides sending her on plane back to the Philippines. This is what we read about all too often in this forum. So, I would argue that expectations about the relationship have to be more realistic and both spouses should have a clear idea of what is acceptable and not acceptable behavior from their spouse. We Americans culturally tend to look for an easy exit when we're faced with a crisis, only in these Fil/Am marriages, there are no easy exits.

Edited by Mister Fancypants, 11 November 2011 - 02:19 AM.

one...two...treeMalePhilippines2011-11-11 02:18:00
PhilippinesLove Doesn't Conquer All

Agreed, but...I don't have much pity (if any) for those entering into marriage without completing (subjectively qualified) due diligence. To those that find themselves disatisfied with their marriage and spouse choice..well...that's what you get. :bonk:

Blaming love for people's stupidity, selfish interests, underhanded play, lack of thought, lack of awareness and lack of commitment is comparable to ED. Doesn't get the job done. :hehe:

(L) Love (L) has the capability of growing throughout a lifetime and beyond. Nothing else does. Everything else in the universe moves towards death. (L) Love (L) is the only thing that gets out of here alive. (L) Love (L) does indeed conquer all. :star:

P.S.
I can't think of any function (off the top of my head) of life that doesn't come with an element of give and take or a trade off. :unsure: Yet, it seems many people (of all nationalities) have an expectation that marriage should be perfect heavenly bliss. :wacko:
Understanding / knowing one's partner has a lifelong learning curve. Commitment (fueled by love) to the marriage and each other's happiness drives the evolving marriage in the right direction.


I agree with some of what you've stated there and really I'm questioning holding onto a cliche' (Love conquers all) that can, IMO, interfere with people's common sense. Take for example a woman who truly loves her husband, even though he has a drinking problem and beats her. She might hang on and stay in the marriage because she too believes that love conquers all. And he could cry himself sober, telling her how sorry he is and how he's gonna change only to go right back to the bottle again and again. So what I'm arguing is that for a relationship to succeed, it takes more than this romantic ideal of love conquering all. It takes a willingness to change our behaviors and possibly our attitudes. We have to make room for the other person in our life instead believing in that someone should love us for who we are. Well yeah, they can love you, but they don't have to put up with your destructive behavior. Sometimes loving someone means letting them go. :star:

Edited by DFH, 09 November 2011 - 09:56 PM.

one...two...treeMalePhilippines2011-11-09 21:56:00
PhilippinesLove Doesn't Conquer All


Sure, but with these LDR, there's a lot more faith required, given that neither one has really gotten to see the other that much....to see them in their darkest hour, when they aren't in a good mood, or to see how they handle real conflict. Couples who live closer to one another are more likely to see those sides of their partner with given enough time.

:blink:
Physical proximity doesn't seem to improve odds.



I'm not making the argument that marriages from conventional courtships are less likely to divorce at all. I was merely pointing out a specific aspect of the relationship (seeing the less appealing sides of your partner) which is less likely in LDR, particularly international courtships. If we were to look at the statistics, I believe these international marriages do have a higher success rate than more conventional marriages, however, there are obvious problems related to these LDR's - typically shorter courtship and engagement timeline, cultural differences, language barriers, and with those all the expectations that sometimes aren't effectively communicated/understood prior to the foreign spouse leaving their life behind to begin a new one with USC.
one...two...treeMalePhilippines2011-11-09 01:27:00
PhilippinesLove Doesn't Conquer All

Yes it happens, but remember the same thing happens in about 50% of American marriages also. Nothing is promised in life not even your next breath. If I sit here and do nothing then my chance of relationship failure is 100% . I will be glad to take a chance on love.

I have a lot of friends that are very happily married to Pinay and have wonderful loving relationships and have had for years. I also know a few that got burned. Such is life.



Sure, but with these LDR, there's a lot more faith required, given that neither one has really gotten to see the other that much....to see them in their darkest hour, when they aren't in a good mood, or to see how they handle real conflict. Couples who live closer to one another are more likely to see those sides of their partner with given enough time.
one...two...treeMalePhilippines2011-11-02 20:23:00
PhilippinesLove Doesn't Conquer All

Thank you, I love him so much, I cant even imagine how can he do this to me.. All I want is to be happy, with him, I try my best to adjust here, to understand him, but I feel like everything is wasn't enough so far... even willing to forgive him, for some little condition but he cant do it, telling me that he loves me and only me is enough,to trust him again without any conditions.. C'mon! give me a break? That's it? he think is so easy just like that? How can I trust him again? if simple prove that I ask he cant do it?! :( :angry: :bonk: Anyway, about your question, been here for a year now. How about your wife? how long she's been here too?


Yeah, I don't know what to say, but I think if you both want the marriage to work, go see a counselor.

My wife and stepson have been here about 4 1/2 years. :) The first couple of weeks were the most difficult.
one...two...treeMalePhilippines2011-11-02 20:19:00