Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
Philippines	Age difference of fiance to fiancee?	If you asked a guy here if he'd consider marrying a woman 20 years older than him, he'd probably choke on his saliva. If you ask a young American woman if she would marry a man 20 years older than her she would first want to look at his financial portfolio. If you told her the guy isn't wealthy by any American standards, she'd tell you to get lost. It's a double standard, but it is what it is. ETA: There's also the baggage of previous marriage(s) - lots of men and women who are single don't want to touch that with a ten foot pole. Edited by Lincolns mullet, 20 January 2013 - 06:22 PM.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2013-01-20 18:18:00
Philippines	BEST WAY TO TEACH MY FILIPINA TO BUDGET	Exactly. You have to crawl before you can dance.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2011-08-06 23:15:00
Philippines	BEST WAY TO TEACH MY FILIPINA TO BUDGET	Put her on an allowance, then let her buy all her personal items out of that allowance. You budget yourself for all the reoccurring expenses, and when she begins to show some responsibility, you increase her allowance, and let her take care of more of the expenses. Kind of like leash training.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2011-08-06 23:01:00
Philippines	BEST WAY TO TEACH MY FILIPINA TO BUDGET	"It's a fact"??where did u get that?? She used it as a figure of speech to mean that it there have been Filipinas who have sought out foreign husbands as sugar daddy's. But don't take offense. This isn't unique to just Filipinas. Gold diggers and sugar daddy's have been around a lot longer than the foreign bride market ever existed.	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2011-08-02 07:45:00
Philippines	Behold Halo-Halo, the Filipino Dessert That's Taking Over New York City	Filipino restaurants in New York City ? namely, Maharlika, Pig and Khao, and Jeepney ? have all found spots in The New York Times's Dining section and have been reviewed favorably by the Gray Lady's critics. The Spotted Pig, a darling in the food world, recently hosted a Filipino night. And for the past year, expertshave been saying Filipino food is the next big thing. So it comes as no surprise  that there seems to be an interest in the distinctly Filipino dessert known as halo-halo (pronounced like hah-low rather than hay-low; it means "mix" in Tagalog).    http://news.yahoo.co...-160141951.html	one...two...tree	Male	Philippines	2013-07-25 12:21:00
Philippines	Age difference of fiance to fiancee?	This just isn't that insulting of a thread, IMO. And people do go into other forums and talk about all kinds of stuff. If you notice, wayyyy back in the thread, the majority of age-related threads at that time were in MENA. This is the internet. An internet forum. It's not something happening IRL to you. It's not worth being super upset about. There are more important things in the world than the opinions of others on some internet immigration forum. Not to completely disagree but some of the more over the top comments were removed. Since some people make judgments about nearly everything in life, it's no surprise that there are some judgments here. Yet still it's a head scratcher. Why would anyone care about who I love, marry or sleep with? My unscientific conclusion is that when it comes to sex we are still a bit of a puritanical culture. If I tell someone that my best friend in life is a 20-something woman from the Philippines, no one has a problem. On the contrary; they probably compliment me on my open mindedness. If I tell someone that I am sleeping with a 20-something woman from the Philippines, the reactions are very different. Since sex is the only variable, I must assume that's what changes the view and sometimes adds judgment to the mix. I had a funny conversation years ago with a gay friend. We were discussing attitudes towards homosexuality. While my views run toward the "everyone should love whomever they want" side of the issue, I had to admit that the few times I had imagined the homosexual act, there was a real "yuck factor." I would imagine that some people feel that yuck factor about an older man and a younger woman. Hell, when I was a teenager I didn't want to imagine that my parents were still having sex. Truth be told I have little interest in imagining most people having sex with their partners:) Again, it's the yuck factor. But as you say, it's the Internet where anyone can say anything they want with impunity. I expect in the real world fewer judgments will be expressed.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-01-23 13:42:00
Philippines	Age difference of fiance to fiancee?	There aren't many older men marrying younger American women who are poor because even among the poorest Americans, they believe that economic opportunities exist without having to marry for them that their Filipina counterparts don't have. As a card carrying liberal, I hate to sound like a right winger but the poorest American woman also knows she has a government and social services to back her up instead of a husband (older or otherwise). That's a dynamic that doesn't exist in most 3rd world nations. While I agree with some of your assertions, your conclusions don't add up. Women (not just poor, not just Filipina) are hardwired to create protective environments for themselves and their children. No woman in her right mind thinks "I want to find an unemployed bum on skid row to marry." The look for viable men; men who can take care of them. Partly that involves economics. Our mothers did this, our grandmothers did. This did not make them gold diggers. It made them mature women interested in protecting themselves and future generations. So yes - money is important; it has a place in marriage. They say that love is a mystery and I believe this; yet is does have parameters. Women are often attracted to men of power, of influence, of accomplishment - which sometimes (though not always) means the guy has a few bucks in the bank. Men are attracted to a woman's youth and fertility, not always but pretty damn often. It's laughable when people pretend otherwise. I disagree with the notion that older men and younger women do not occur in other societies, particularly when the parties come from similar economic backgrounds. In fact other than American society it's a pretty damn common site to those who've traveled. And within American society if you go back a couple generations if was also quite common. I am old enough to remember lots of older-younger couples when I was a kid. My grandfather was married to a woman 25 years younger (and from the same economic and social background) and no one thought twice of it. Today I have tons of friends in my age category married or living with much younger women (foreign and domestic). It's a much more common dynamic than we believe. I think that, like homosexuality a generation or two ago, some people don't see it cause they don't want to see it. But ultimately I think these economic lessons are a red herring. People don't like it not for economic reasons - but because at some core level they think it's immoral, unethical or creepy. Most of the time they can't even say why it's immoral or wrong - they just know that it is! What strikes me as odd is that here we have an entire forum populated by people bringing their foreign fiancees or spouses to America. For many Americans that in and of itself is a problem and the people involved will be judged. Yet even we seem determined to judge others' relationships. Shouldn't we be cheering each other on? Personally I just don't get it.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-01-23 03:01:00
Philippines	Age difference of fiance to fiancee?	Well, I knew it wouldn't bother you. You're one of us happy people. Ooo - can we join the happy people club?	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-01-22 15:46:00
Philippines	Age difference of fiance to fiancee?	27 years ago I married an African-American woman. Despite it being the enlightened 80s we were prepared for the fact that some friends, family members or people in general would not approve of what we had done. I worked on myself, determining what I might say or do; when I might speak out and when I might let things slide. In the end, while we did have some negative responses there weren't that many. A few family members were unhappy. I found out my father was a bigger racist than I'd realized. On the flip side, other people befriended us, thinking (perhaps falsely) that we were in some weird way gutsy. So it balanced out but still we were always aware that a few people would judge us. It may seem that this issue is not at all the same as race, but I think it has similarities. Back then no one would ever admit they were racists; they simply had logical reasons inter-racial relationships could not work. I heard many of the same reasons for opposing that marriage: what could you possibly have in common, wont you find constant opposition in society, what about any kids you might have, you are just slumming, it's only about sex, and that overriding and ubiquitous judgment - it's just plain wrong. When it comes to sex, America is still puritanical. A couple generations ago it was marriage between people of different religions that was considered wrong or immoral. Then it was inter-racial marriages. Then same sex relations. Some Americans just have a hard time with who sleeps with whom. Just as 27 years ago, I have gotten to think about this issue now and decide how I wish to live and how I wish to respond to any opposition we might face. No, I won't go postal on anyone - it's just not my nature. But I do expect that a friendship or two might be affected. In a way the time it takes for the Visa to be finalized has given me time to work on a few of my friends who I think might have an issue. I will show them that our relationship is wonderful. Ultimately they will have to decide to accept it or not. Life is too short and I am too old to invite people into my home and life who judge us. But regardless of how I respond to individuals in my life, including making a decision to turn the other cheek, I will not put my head in the sand. Just as nearly 3 decades ago I could not pretend that racism did not exist, I cannot now pretend that predjudice does not exist about other cultures, or that ageism doesn't exist. It does! How I will deal with it will change on a case by case basis. In the end as with most major life changes, some people will be added to my life and some will fall by the wayside.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-01-22 03:13:00
Philippines	Age difference of fiance to fiancee?	Davenjanet, one of the things you can learn in this forum is that only the few who have experienced being judged superficially as you have been will understand why you said what you said. I am sure my husband would have easily said something rude back to anyone who would say rude comments about our relationship. When we weren't married yet, I'd personally feel uncomfortable, wondering if people were thinking I was just his Asian fling. But, that easily passed... I no longer care. I think there are women who marry for money and for the immigration privileges as many as there are women who actually marry for love. Age, citizenship, have kids or not, divorced or widowed, etc... These are all factors that any woman (or man) consider when they find a partner. Who cares if another person thinks you're making a mistake or you're being a nasty creep? You know what's the real deal between you and your partner... And that's what we all ought to spend most of our energy on. Thanks for this nice piece of wisdom!	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-01-21 22:38:00
Philippines	Age difference of fiance to fiancee?	^^ How is that (bolded) any less offensive than what Lincolns Mullet said? If you are an American woman maybe it is just as offensive. To counter the constant references to desperate, gold digging foreign women only interested in money it seemed reasonable to mention that American woman are equally (or more) influenced by cash. Is there even a disagreement about that? As to my slightly off-color personal story - well in the name of total disclosure I should mention that it was a female friend with whom I had the exchange. Nonetheless she had crossed the line several times in commenting about my Filipina gf and it seemed justifiable to snap back. But yes, the greater implication (that essentially I was buying a girl) is offensive. I asked my friend whether she could imagine any other reason for our relationship. Since she knows me I assumed she would do the right thing and say "well I am sure it's because you are a nice, kind person, mature, responsible, good father, etc." Instead she repled that she believed there could be no other reason other than money and/or green card. At that point I played the Johnson-card. The comment worked and there have been no other negative references to my gf since.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-01-21 13:02:00
Philippines	Age difference of fiance to fiancee?	Why people bring up the issue is because there's an imbalance where a majority of older men are seeking out younger women. It is disproportionate even among married men when their wife is American. People wonder why. It comes down to economics - these young women are looking for opportunity and financial stability that is harder to achieve in their country. That gives the American men the upperhand in picking what they want - young, pretty, petite. You say this like it's a bad thing:) OK, let me be serious then. This attitude (which has been expressed several times in this thread) is even more offensive than the simple "it is wrong and immoral" kind of junk espoused earlier in this thread. Why? Because it pre-supposes that the young woman in question is so desperate (and perhaps lacking in morals) that she would marry only for money, and that the older man is so slimy that he would take advantage of a younger woman whom he knew did not love him, just so he could get sex. Since the Philippines is a poor country, by definition most girls there are poor. Are they all desperate? Some are perhaps, but most have great character. Doesn't your Filipina? Frankly the largest number of gold diggers in the world can be found right here in the good ol USA, but that's another issue. As to financial stability, most women want that. I have rarely heard a woman, American or otherwise say, "My goal is to marry an unemployed bum." Every woman dreams of a man she can respect and who is financially viable. Therefore again by definition any older man who is financially stable (not all older men are) has a distinct advantage over a man who is not - in all cultures. He has as you put it "an upper hand." That's the way it should be, BTW. The last time anyone had the gall to tell me to my face that my then gf (now fiancee) was only interested in me for my money I told them I knew this was not true and could easily prove why my gf was interested in me. The accuser, an American woman (naturally), asked what's the reason and how could I prove it. "The reason's simple," I said. "I have an incredibly large Johnson." For whatever reason she didn't ask for proof lol! Edited by davenjanet, 21 January 2013 - 01:41 AM.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-01-21 01:32:00
Philippines	Age difference of fiance to fiancee?	There are tons of opinions out there about age gap marriages.... opinion and butts (cleaned it up for the forum), everyone has one, doesn't mean the next person wants to know about either. No you didn't brand the Philippines... actually the other poster did in MY opiinion. No worries.. be happy... enjoy... And all the best! Thanks!! The truth is that in our culture marriage is challenging enough without listening to strangers who for their own reasons decide they are against yours.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-01-20 17:30:00
Philippines	Age difference of fiance to fiancee?	Well, in that last paragraph, you completely missed my point. You're 60, so technically you could have had a daughter who would be 40 years old. Maybe I just follow a different set of morals and standards, but I also try to look at the big picture. My wife is 4.5 years younger, which is nothing. When I retire, she'll be pretty close to retiring too. When I'm old and in a nursing home, I'm not gonna be leaving my 20-something year old wife to take care of the kids by herself. If you think that's OK, then that's your own selfish desire. Just because it's legal, doesn't make it right. Nope, YOU missed the point - completely. While at age 59 (I got a couple more days to go till 60) I could in theory have a 40 year old child, I don't. I could just as easily have a 3 year old child. In short life does not work on an actuarial table; you can't define when someone could or should get married, have kids, get old, enter a nursing home, or die. Case in point - my mother died (and quickly) at age 40, my grandmother had a stroke and entered a nursing home at 54; both long before it was supposed to happen. So to use a well worn cliche "life is short - enjoy it while you can." Personally I intend to. If someone has a judgement with that - it's their issue not mine. As to "just because it's legal, doesn't make it right" who decides what makes it right? While possibly some family input is justified, certainly the couple ought to ultimately decide. And never some anonymous guy on the Internet. Edited by davenjanet, 20 January 2013 - 05:26 PM.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-01-20 17:17:00
Philippines	Age difference of fiance to fiancee?	You kind of just branded the Philippines as an easy place to go where old people can get young girls. It's not a place to fulfill a fetish that's very hard to accomplish in America. It's very rare to see a couple of white Americans with a 35 year age gap, mainly because it's not the norm in America (how much disgust did America show to Anna Nicole Smith and that 80 year old guy?). So why is it that most of the white people I see in Phil (outside of Manila) are old white males picking up their young Filipina tart? Age shouldn't make a difference in a relationship, but some people need to ask themselves a question or two: Would you marry your daughter's best friend? Would you marry your granddaughter's best friend? Let the fire begin, but I'll still stick to my "keep it within 10 years" rule. Well I now know one person who isn't coming to the wedding lol! In no way did I brand the Philippines as anything. If you read my posting the point I made is that because I had already had a younger gf in the US by th time I visited the Philippines I was open to the possibility and it didn't bother me when I saw many older men with younger women there. Nor did it bother me when many younger women, some much younger than my fiancé, expressed interest in me. You said that age shouldn make a difference in a relationship but then contradicted yourself. Why do I have a "young Filipina tart" but you have a fiancée? No, I would not marry my daughters best friend for a variety if reasons. The biggest reason is that my daughter is 13! Not every older guy is a grandfather. Edited by davenjanet, 20 January 2013 - 09:33 AM.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-01-20 09:26:00
Philippines	Age difference of fiance to fiancee?	I had had one experience with a younger woman (20 years difference) here in the U.S. several years ago. She was sweet but I knew for several reasons we would never marry. Frankly I felt a bit guilty, or more accurately I felt that I ought to feel guilty about the age gap. But the relationship helped me get that self-doubt out of my system. Now she is a good friend and a big supporter of my relationship with my fiancee. So by the time a good friend of mine (who has a delightful Pinay wife) told me I should check out the Philippines for a potential partner I was more ready to have a relationship with a younger woman. But I was not ready for how many Pinays were readily open to relationships with older men. I asked several girls why they would consider a much older man and invariably they had thoughtful answers that most of you have probably heard. This issue is on my mind a lot recently since I am about to hit the next major milestone. Next week I turn 60. My fiancee says in reality I am younger than she is. But our Avatar pic says different lol! At 35 years what do we win if we have the largest age gap on this thread? Edited by davenjanet, 18 January 2013 - 06:02 PM.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-01-18 17:58:00
Philippines	tomorrow is my flight im badly need your help	Hi Vj tomorrow is my flight and i need some help regarding the Credit Card husband used for the plane tickets,is there anyone have already experience check-in at the airport only show the Credit Card and the ID of owner which is not totally Valid, mean i have school ID of my husband of 2011-2012,you guys think i will have some trouble with these? i have the Credit Card of my husband,and i have his school ID 2011-2012 and i ready his Birth certificate and our Marriage certificate just in case they will ask, you think i need more like Authorization letter? Please me tomorrow is my flight and im worried now If you have the credit card that was used to purchase the ticket, as well as your documentation I would think that would be fine. You can call the airline to confirm whether you need more. Of course I am assuming the ticket, while purchased by your husband, is in fact in your name.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-02-25 01:55:00
Philippines	Better late than never	I like how I get responses in a regional discussion from people doing visa in other countries... I could have found a wife from any country in the world, there is a reason I picked Philippines. Because they are traditional and although not all a great majority of the women prefer to be house wives. I have obviously asked her what she wants to do with her life, she has no idea I'm trying to help get her a hobby/money making side gig. Darnell had a great idea actually that is something along the lines I am thinking. I do realize she needs a work permit for a real job, but I would prefer her not have a real job. Now if she can make as much as me and wants to work, then she can and I'll stay home and be a house husband... I definitely could keep myself occupied. I didn't think I'd get a feminist assault from the post that is for sure. I'm sure there's plenty of people in the same boat I'm in. My fiance has told me she doesn't want to get a drivers license, that pretty much eliminates work possibilities. Some things might change, right now she's saying she doesn't want a license, having kids would eliminate that quick. Having kids is what she wants most but I want to have fun for a year and enjoy life, plus if the health system crashes then maybe a year from now it will be cheaper to have a kid, it certainly can't go up in price. I think your question was quite reasonable and while my situation is not exactly the same it is not that different either. My fiance just graduated from college Saturday with a B.S. in Business Administration. But in the Philippines what does this actually mean she can do? Before I came along she might have parlayed her degree into a job in a call center. So I have asked her what she might want to do when she arrives here. She does not know - the job situation and culture are so different. She wants to work to help her family and not just stay home. But what to do? Finally since she has worked at hotels while going to college, she said she might get a job as a desk clerk at a hotel. Fortunately I don't need her to make money, so she doesn't have to work 40 hours a week to make ends meet. I want her to find things she enjoys but can be productive at. Like I say, I don't think it is an unreasonable question at all.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-03-26 18:19:00
Philippines	sending money to the family back in the phils	Even us that are 60 don't run around looking for 18 y.o. Pinays to marry, and truly I don't know of any with that large of an age gap, + not sure what that has to do with anything, being 60 doesn't mean a person is floating in $$$. Who knew that when I turned 60 (just happened BTW) that I would be viewed as the reason for the ruination of an entire country When I was a kid, my parents' generation viewed us as what was wrong with the world. Now that I am 60 I am not only viewed as what is wrong in the US, but apparently have ruined PI too. Who knew? And all I wanted was to bring my fiance home to spend my life with. As to 18 year olds, my fiance ain't 18, though a few did express interest. As to $$$, I can barely float on my a$$ and definitely am not floating on or in cash. Needless to say, this was all said tongue in cheek but the notion that older Westerners are ruining the Philippines has become pretty popular on the forums and I'm cranky and annoyed by it	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-03-27 14:45:00
Philippines	How are you adjusting?	There was a nice thread a little why ago, "How is your Filipina/Filipino adjsting?" My fiance and I read it all the way threw last night.   It's occurred to me often that I will have just as big an adjustment. So I wanted to reverse the question a bit.   How are you adjusting to living with and loving a woman from a very different country and culture?	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-05-03 13:16:00
Philippines	Sending Documents to the Philippines	Yes, it only takes 3 days for the parcels to be delivered.  DHL delivers it to the home address.    The one here in Portland is at: #13509 NE Whitaker Way Portland Or, 97230  Services : REMITTANCE/CARGO   We send money & go to an agent in Tambayan Restaurant. They only do remittance service.    6014 SE Foster Rd., Portland, OR 97206  Services : REMITTANCE Just an update. I went to LBC today to try to send docs and at this point in time they do not have that service. They said that they are scheduled to re-instate air service the end of May but that I should call first to confirm. So right now they only do sea shipping. I don't know whether this is just the Portland branch or LBC USA in general.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-05-04 17:07:00
Philippines	Sending Documents to the Philippines	You were lucky that the docs arrived in a timely manner. I've had good experience with PhilPost myself in my home town.  All of my then-fiance's letters/cards & packages arrived without any problems. When he discovered that there is LBC here in Portland, he then switched to sending packages through them.  I'm quite surprised you didn't use LBC to send those documents since you have had good experience with sending balikbayan boxes. .    I have sent docs and even a Xmas present via USPS with no problems. However when my fiance sent docs to me she used LBC and I was shocked to receive them in my mailbox in 3 days! So it's good to know that LBC is here in Portland, where I also reside.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-05-01 13:18:00
Philippines	Booking a flight via CC	send her a scanned copy of your CC and ID. is it via cebupacific or what? If it's Cebu Pacific (and many other airlines or travel sites) you can set her up in their online system as a guest and then assign the ticket to her. I have done this many times.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-05-10 15:52:00
Philippines	Traveling to Phillipines with Jewelry?	From my way of thinking there are a couple issues here. How much are the rings worth? (you don't have to tell us - just saying something for you to consider). I don't wear expensive jewelry when I travel anywhere internationally, just as a precaution. Not just a Philippines thing.   Depending on value they will be covered by your homeowners/renters insurance, no matter where you are. If they are really valuable you can insure them separately.    But the real issue is if they appear to be valuable (big diamond) does wearing it make your wife a potential target? Maybe so. But honestly, is that just in the Philippines? Lots of jewelry gets stolen in the good ol USA too. Maybe I am just cheap but that's one reason I am not a big advocate of expensive engagement rings.    Anyway these are all things for you to consider. Your homeowners probably covers the rings. But whether a big rock makes her a target is something to consider.   BTW, our avatar shows a pic of our engagement with Janet holding up the ring. I don't think you can even see the stone haha. Its nice a nice ring though but not something that will likely get targeted by a thief.     So my wife wants to take her wedding and engagement ring with us to Manila and Boracay when we go. Myself and some of her Filpina friends here in the U.S think she should leave the engagement ring here (ill get a safe deposit) and just take the wedding band. She disagrees but i think the risk of being robbed is probable because of the ring.   Edited by davenjanet, 11 May 2013 - 11:09 PM.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-05-11 23:06:00
Philippines	Interview Passed	Congratulations Grant and Airen!! Janet and I can't wait to meet you two!	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-05-14 13:15:00
Philippines	Flights from US to Philippines	If you think summer rates are expensive, try flying Xmas week. I did it a couple years ago before I knew any better and paid around $2200 from Portland to Manila.    I agree that Korean Air and Asiana are my 2 favorite airlines as far as quality of service, as well as price. Unfortunately every time I have traveled internationally I find no rhyme or reason as to which airlines are cheapest. But I do try to fly Korean Air or Asiana when I can.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-05-16 00:10:00
Philippines	Where to send the Visa	So here's a sort of follow up:   It has become more and more clear to me that once we get our NOA2 Janet would love to leave Leyte and spend as much home time as possible in Alcoy. I know that the embassy in Manila sends a letter with instructions on how to pay, schedule an interview, etc,. I have seen the letter online.   So the question is, does Janet in any way need this letter when she goes to her interview. If she doesn't need to wait for this letter to arrive, she can essentially leave Leyte as soon as the NOA2 happens, then we can schedule the interview as soon as I can get the MNL #, and we're off and running.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-05-22 12:08:00
Philippines	Where to send the Visa	Thanks all. This is what I hoped. She really doesn't want to go all the way back to Leyte and particularly not to her job. OMG she has worked so hard for so long. Not that they are bad people but I can't wait to get her out of there.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-05-21 21:57:00
Philippines	Where to send the Visa	OK, we are ahead of ourselves since we don't have the NOA2 yet. But it sounds like if I read it correctly, once the Visa is approved it can be delivered to an address other than the one listed in all the documents. Is this true?   Janet lives in Leyte where she works and has been there for 5 years. But once her interview is scheduled and she has received the packet from the embassy, she and I would like her to leave her job and go to Alcoy, Cebu to be with her family, before the journey to Manila for medical and interview. She would prefer not to go all the way back to Leyte to receive the Visa and passport.   So am I correct that it can be sent to her home in Alcoy or she can pick it up? And that listing another address will not be any kind of red flag? Edited by davenjanet, 21 May 2013 - 06:02 PM.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-05-21 18:02:00
Philippines	I-134c requirement (retired petitioner)	What am I not understanding here? If you make 5k/month tax free you sure as hell make enough.    hello everyone i am a newbie and i have few questions regarding i134 requirements. My fiancee is from the Philippines I am Planning to gather much info and requirements for i134 affidavit of support.   1: I am retired and i receive 2 checks per month... Total is  $5082.62 per month of tax free money.      from va and other check	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-05-25 23:54:00
Philippines	Getting Organized for CFO and Interview	Steve:   Sounds like a really nice organizational system. When the time comes we will do something similar.   Good luck!   Dave	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-05-24 16:54:00
Philippines	NOA2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!	Thank you very much everyone !!!!	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-06-05 03:18:00
Philippines	NOA2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!	Approved...	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-06-04 22:51:00
Philippines	How is your Filipina / Filipino Adjusting?	That's funny I wouldn't be on an internet forum saying your son was wondering in the woods and nobody knew that he had left. That's called child neglect and endangerment. Not knowing where your 2 year old is, isn't something to be proud of. I can pretty much guarantee the number of people who would think the worse parent is the one who let a 2 year old wander through the woods, rather than the one who had a 17 year old that was bad at knowing the names of streets. Thanks for this. I'm not sure how this became a referendum on who is or isn't a good parent; that certainly wasn't my intention. I will say that teaching someone you love how to drive is a challenging proposition for both the experienced and the new driver, no matter what their age or country of origin. One of my best friends is a Pinay who recently moved to the US and married her fiancé. She is anxious to learn how to drive. He made it clear that he will send her to drivers school. I think he is a wise man.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-02-23 23:45:00
Philippines	How is your Filipina / Filipino Adjusting?	You've confused cause and effect. USA = 3 cars per household on average (from US Census Bureau) Philippines = 81% of households without cars (From Philippine Engineering Journal Report 2004) That isn't because we value independence and they don't. That's because our per capita GDP is $50K per year and theirs is $4K per year. If you raise the income of the Philippines to that of the USA, they'll be buying cars just like we do and Drivers' Education will be in the high schools just like here. If you don't own a car then you don't need to know how to drive somewhere. But you do need to know which Jeepney goes to the place you want. If I was on a forum saying my 17 year old son only knew the street he lived on I would be embarassed beyond measure. My son, at two years old, could find me in the woods nearly a mile from home. I was shocked the first time he had navigated that far on his own. My wife did not even realize he had left the cabin to find me. At three years old he can use google earth to find grandma's house five thousand miles from here. He is definitely ahead of his cohorts in a lot of respects, but geez - a 17 year old that doesn't know anything more than the street he lives on is appalling. Thanks for educating me. Didn't realize that I ought to be embarrassed. I'm not I've lived in a number of US cities and in most cities in the US kids don't ride bikes much anymore because A) its unfortunately considered more dangerous to go anywhere on your own and B) for good or bad most of today's kids are more interested in Xbox and computers than riding their bikes to the local malt shop. The society has changed. As to my son, I am quite proud of him. He's an A student, majoring in computer science, but the reality is that just as a generation ago people no longer needed to learn rote math because they had calculators, today when nearly every kid in his school has a smartphone with turn by turn nav or GPS, knowing the name of each street is less necessary. I still know the street names but even I rely on my iphone navigation more and more often. I totally agree that the main difference is that nearly all Americans own cars and most Filipinos do not. But some of the comments in this thread implied that it was nearly a cultural thing, not just a "her dad never owned a car" thing. And you made the statements that kids are used to navigating via bike and such. I merely pointed out that that's less common than it was a generation ago. As to interdependence vs. independence, since several people made cultural statements about why Filipinas have a harder time learning to drive, I believe that besides the obvious fact that most families there don't own cars, is the fact that their culture is more interdependent than independent. In my city even with public transportation it is very difficult to survive without your own car (or 2 or 3). The culture is set up that way. In my fiance's small city the infrastructure is not set up for a car to be a necessity. If she does not know how to get somewhere she calls her friend. Hell, even if she does know how to get somewhere, she calls her friend and they go together. American independence has many advantages but a few disadvantages. If I look at the freeway at rush hour I will observe that 90% of people drive alone. Neither culture is better or worse - just different. BTW, I just showed my son your comment. While I will admit he doesn't know all the street names around here he does apparently know how to call you a very bad word - and in three different languages I'm a proud father!	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-02-23 20:00:00
Philippines	How is your Filipina / Filipino Adjusting?	This is quite common amongst people who have no experience to draw from. In the USA kids have bicycles, mini-bikes, go-carts, bumber cars at the fair, etc. and they drive in cars as passengers watching forward, seeing the drivers actions instead of Jeepneys where you are in a crowd looking out the sides and not learning. Additionally, we learned on streets we had been driving all our lives so that removes one important stress factor: knowing where you are and how to get places. Don't think this is completely true - at least not in any urban area of the US. First off, unlike when I was a child, kids don't ride bikes anymore. It's become rare, especially for transportation purposes. I knew every street in my neighborhood as a kid; my son who just turned 17 only knows our street. Why should he know? If his parents aren't transporting him, the bus is and every kid with a smartphone has a map app with turn by turn navigation. Knowing about streets and how to navigate yourself has become as old fashioned as knowing how to do math without a calculator. The bigger issue is that we live in a culture that values independence. All the old jokes about men here who refuse to ask for directions are true. We consider it a badge of honor to get there and do everything on our own. In PI, a culture that values inter-dependence, if you don't know how to get somewhere you just ask your friend or tita to take you. Problem solved. So the girl used to interdependence has an adjustment to make, and her husband used to independent American women (overly independent IMO) has an adjustment as well. Edited by davenjanet, 23 February 2013 - 05:46 PM.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-02-23 17:45:00
Philippines	Flights to US - specials and any restrictions	Shouldn't have to leave from Manila, so if you can find one from Cebu should be fine like Caryh said.   Will be making the flight ourselves next month, using Korean Air a bit more compared to the others but that is where my miles were.   To comment on Vancouver, BC connection though, shouldn't be a problem just like going through Japan/Korea, but anytime I have gone through Vancouver even as a USC they ask a lot of questions, the line is slow, and I find it not as pleasant. It is nothing like just driving across the border. So I try to come back via Seattle being from Portland.  I am from Portland also - and soon Janet will be. Yes I have often flown though Seattle, San Francisco, but sometimes Vancouver as well. So I was just wondering.   I will come and pick up Janet, so wanted to coordinate the RT flight with the one way flight, try to get a reasonable price, and of course not do anything that will screw things up:)   Thanks!	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-06-12 17:19:00
Philippines	Flights to US - specials and any restrictions	So now that things are getting closer I started to look at flights. Since it will happen during the summer first thing I noticed is higher fares. Then I discovered that there are travel agencies that sell 1st time immigrant visa one way discounts. Does anyone have any experience with any of these companies?   Then someone said Janet had to fly out of Manila. Is this true? We were thinking to fly out of Cebu.   But this got me to thinking of other restrictions. I live in the NW and sometimes flights go in and out of Vancouver, BC. Am I correct in assuming Janet could not take a flight with a connection though Vancouver? Any other restrictions?   Thanks - getting excited and want to make sure all is perfect on my end.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-06-12 12:59:00
Philippines	CFO is asking for proof of singleness	And for sure black out your SSN. The packet Janet's put together for the embassy interview includes my 1040 and W2s. We would have used the same packet for the CFO interview. Are you suggesting blacking the SS# for the embassy interview or for a copy for CFO? In your experience are the CFO folks not to be trusted?	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-06-13 16:48:00
Philippines	How did you get married in US?	This is also a big issue for us, not because of family intervention, but because of lack of family. I only have my 2 teenagers who live in my city. My sister will come; she is the only other family who can or would attend. So my idea was a small ceremony probably in our home with those few family members and a few friends.   Janet agrees but I always wonder since I know she dreams of the big church wedding. I am not Catholic, so besides the time obstacle, that's a big obstacle. I want her to be happy but not try to go wild in the 90 days we have to get married (and we don't want to wait very long).   And of course like many others, I want to return to PI next year for a wedding or big party for her family.   I am open to suggestions.   I do like the Skype suggestion to try to involve friends and family back home. Also the B&B idea might be nicer than the home. I just don't want to stress everyone out (namely me) in a short period of time. Edited by davenjanet, 17 June 2013 - 03:07 PM.	davenjanet	Male	Philippines	2013-06-17 15:06:00