ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresI-129F Denied
The adjudictors have a certain amount of leeway in approving petitions or doing an RFE or rejecting. I have previously had 2 fiancee petitions approved without letters of intent, others have had RFE's for those. I have never heard of a CENOMAR being requested at CSC but I'd say it might be within the realm of possiblity. Strange for sure, but not unimaginable. I've never filed a separate sheet with a longer "how we met" story, simply completed the box with the pertinent information. Maybe I was lucky, getting an adjudicator who let it slide; maybe I met the requirement and there was no "letting it slide". With my current petition I did submit letters of intent but I still just filled the box for how we met. I believe I submitted enough information to approve my petition. Again, the adjudicators have a fair amount of leeway, so it's possible I may get an RFE even though I submitted more info that I have in my previous approved petitions. There is no way to know what the adjudicator who reviews your case may be thinking, how they see the world, what side of the bed they got up on.

In the OP's case, until he has the denial letter in hand it's not possible to say what is really going on here. It's like trying to reply to an RFE that you haven't received yet. Wait for the letter, everything right now is speculation.
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-10-15 22:14:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresI-129F Denied
What did the RFE say, other than "Age Requirement"? What was the full text of the RFE?
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-10-15 18:27:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresQuestion on the I-134
Child support is not considered taxable income. The person who pays child support pays that support out of after tax income and the person receiving it pays no tax on that money. For that reason I would say it's not considered income. It will not be shown on IRS documents as income.

Edited by Grant PDX, 13 November 2012 - 12:48 AM.

Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-11-13 00:46:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Proceduresk2 issue
It won't matter. It will have no impact on the process. In the US middle names aren't used the same as in the Philippines so it won't matter what her middle name is, just make sure it is listed on the petition the same way it is on the birth certificate and you'll be fine.
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-11-29 23:40:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresFaded ticket stubs
If you have enough stubs to prove you've been together you're probably ok. You don't have to send every one.

If you need these, have you tried taking a photo? If it's visible to the naked eye, you might be able to capture in a photo, then print that out. Play with lighting possibly.

Good luck!
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-12-02 00:47:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresPlease Help With Your Advice/Experience!!
This is a board full of thousands of do-it-yourselfers.. some who didn't know they could do it, but actually did. The process isn't extremely difficult and generally doesn't require a lawyer. Some cases might require a lawyer, but they are all non-standard cases. If yours is normal, you should be able to do it yourself, and save money and very possibly time and aggravation as well, as lawyers tend to make more mistakes and slow the process frankly.

It's not that hard, really. Just need to gather up the paperwork you need, fill out a few forms, and mail it off. Do follow the guides here though. Spend some time making yourself familiar with the process before mailing your petition. It will save a lot of second guessing later.

Good luck!
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-12-08 01:00:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresCan my I-130 the place of I-129F in line?
The one thing that pops up from time to time is those few who seem to slip through without problems, even though they seem out of the norm. Some folks get RFE's for Letters of Intent. This isn't my first visa rodeo, and in my last one I had NOA2 without LoI's. The OP may get approved on one or both petitions with no problems. The information he's been given would be accurate in 98% of the cases, but he might be the one who slips through and gets approved without issues. Who knows?

In 98% of the cases he will get denied and have to start over, losing all the advatages of the less expensive faster green card process. That's up to him. The reason for switching was to be faster/cheaper and more than likely he will lose both and be slower/more expensive.

As he said, it's entirely up to him if he wants to follow the advice. We are concerned that he may fall in the 98% and have real issues later. He doesn't care and is confident he is in the 2%. If he is corret he will be back on here gloating, telling everyone they were wrong and he was right. If he's wrong we'll never see him again, at least under the same username, as he will be busy untangling an expensive time consuming and draining mess and won't want to give everyone the satisfaction of having tried to help him but hitting his ego brick wall.

OP, best of luck. Folks are trying to help. You're correct, following the very good advice you've been given is certainly up to you.
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-12-18 16:24:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures2nd Chances For A FIlipina
Guys, here is what is listed in the I-129F instructions. As far as the instructions go, it's not 2 petitions in 2 years. It's 2 petitions lifetime, 1 in the last 2 years. I don't know if the OP requires a waiver, as I don't know how many lifetime and I don't know if the previous petition approval was within the last 2 years. Again as far as the instructions go, it's not if they had two in the previous 2 years.

"If you have filed two or more K-1 visa petitions at any time in th past or previously had a K-1 visa petition approved within two years prior to the filing of this petition, you must apply for a waiver. To request a waiver you must submit a written request with this petition accompanied by documentation of your claim to the waiver."

Edited by Grant PDX, 30 December 2012 - 11:24 PM.

Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-12-30 23:24:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures2nd Chances For A FIlipina
My understanding on IMBRA is that if you have 2 approved I-129F in your lifetime OR 1 approved I-129F in the last 2 years you much request a waiver. I know of one other member who had filed for a 2nd I-129F within 2 years after a failed marriage and had to write a waiver request on his second petition.

Personally I had a K-1 visa approved many years ago, got married had kids and later divorced. After the divorce I met a filipina, got engaged and filed a I-129F. The petition was approved but I cancelled prior to and visa processing. However, the petition approval, not the visa approval, put me at the 2 I-129F lifetime limit.

My current outstanding I-129F is my 3rd lifetime (over the limit) and the 2nd in the last 2 years (over the limit) so a waiver request was filed.

I believe this waiver is what you are thinking about. If your last I-129F was approved less than 2 years ago you will need to request a waiver.

Good luck!
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-12-30 12:14:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresLetter of Intent to Marry

Those 5 lawyers need to read section 5B of the I-129F instructions, they are all WRONG. :bonk:

http://www.uscis.gov...i-129finstr.pdf


As wrong as they might be, I've submitted 2 previous petitions for fiancee both without letters of intent and both approved without RFE. I did submit LOIs with my current petition, just to be safe, but based on the strength of the total petition package I believe they may or may not see this requirement as an absolute. If it was an absolute I would have received RFEs for both previous petitions, I believe. I don't think it was luck, I think it was the strength of the total package.

To echo those above, I would prepare LOIs but wait for the RFE to send them in. IF it is requested, it could delay your approval for a month or so, given the available timelines on this site.

Good luck!
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-01-08 18:05:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresK1 Visa Petition: please help..very urgent!
If you plan to live in Australia you don't need a visa to enter or marry in the US. When you arrive in the US for the wedding you need to show enough information to convince CBP that you will be returning to Australia after your wedding. What "enough" is varies by CBP agent, but generally work info, home (lease or mortgage), family ties, etc. (and the clear documentation to demonstrate those) are what is frequently recommended. From Australia it shouldn't be too difficult, just be prepared to tell and explain your story.

If you eventually do wish to relocate to the US then you would need to apply for, and wait for, the visa. Until then ESTA is the way to go.

Good luck!
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-01-08 03:31:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresK-1 & Question
There have been folks on this board who were in the situation. They were deemed too married to file a K-1 and not enough married to filed a CR-1. Their best option to to finish the civil wedding then file the CR-1. I'm sure some adjudicators would let it slide, others might not. To save yourself possible aggravation down the road I'd recommend completing the marriage process.

Good luck!
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-01-13 23:23:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresK-1 Visa Tijuana
Given your situation it might be best to get married first and apply for the CR-1 visa. That would give her the ability to travel almost immediately after entering the US. Alternatively, you could apply for emergency AP after her entry into the US and your marriage. It might not be granted, but it's possible it could be and that could shorten the time that she'd have to wait before leaving the US after marriage.

Good luck!
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-02-25 13:20:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresPotential Red flags for K1 application?
I don't see those things as red flags. If she wanted to immigrate illegally, she could have come on a tourist visa and stayed... either through overstaying or finding a guy here and AOSing.. I don't think she will be seen as a problem. The world is small, that fact that she met a guy in the same country where she was offered a job is relatively unimportant, in the red flag scheme of things.

I would believe you're ok.

Good luck!
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-03-16 21:44:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresHelp! K-1 Visa Taking too Long
Some countries do scrutinize the "marriage party" more than others... I would anticipate that the embassy in the UK would not be overly concerned about a ceremony without a legal marriage. Other countries have different rules. I would think that the UK, like Canada and likely other similar countries, wouldn't put significant weight on a non-legal ceremony. Countries in asia or MENA countries likely look at it differently, given the nature of religious ceremonies in many of those places.

I think it's a real possibility for the OP, if the process timeline doesn't work out and if plans aren't easily changed. Be clear on all documentation, and the risk should be minimal.
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-03-19 23:02:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresHelp! K-1 Visa Taking too Long
If an expedite isn't ready, and the visa isn't approved, and all the arrangements are made and paid for and can't be changed, including family flights etc... One possibility would be to still have the party, but don't have a marriage ceremony. Cut cake, drink wine, dance, throw a bouquet... but don't marry. Then a few weeks later once the K-1 is received, do a justice of the peace wedding. You can certainly have a party on a VWP. Making the most of a bad situation, if the visa hasn't come through.

Good luck!
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-03-19 18:31:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresSent in I-129F two weeks before 2 year mark, will it get denied?
Manila does accept co-sponsors for K-1 visa, but it is on a case-by-case basis. Some get rejected, some get approved. I believe those being approved have had parents or close family member co-sponsor, but even then it is likely situation dependent. Make sure you have all your ducks in a row.

Good luck!
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-03-27 17:58:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresMailing I-129F
I used overnight and would always recommend that. I mailed my petition one day, it was received the next, and my NOA1 date was the next.. so 2 days from mailing it to NOA1. For an extra few bucks I may have shaved some days off the process. I see a lot of folks on Igor's list who mailed their petition before mine but have NOA1 dates after mine. I look at it this way - if the NOA1 to NOA2 process takes 20 to 25 weeks, would you be willing to pay $20 per week to shorten that? I know I would, and that's what overnight does, it cuts time off the process. I've seen NOA1 dates from 5 to 9 days after mailing, which means I might have shaved off close to a full week for those $18. Good deal if you ask me.
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-01-07 01:00:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresNon-Legal Ceremony in Foreign Country??
The individual CO who reviews the case has very wide discretion to make a decision. If they feel a marriage ceremony happened they will deny the case. If they don't, and everything else is in line, then it wouldn't be a problem. Whatever that CO reviewing your case feels is the real key. Nobody can tell you what they will feel at that time.

What you need to be careful of is giving them any indication that a wedding ceremony happened. Have a "party on the beach" by all means. In fact, have an engagement party if you feel the need. But if the person reviewing your case has reason to believe it was a wedding, then you are in a pickle.

I had an engagement party with my fiancee. I anticipate that the CO interviewing my fiancee with have zero reason to believe we got married. Since you call it a ceremony in your original post, that word is obviously in your vocabulary. Get it out, of your and your fiancee's vocabulary ... P A R T Y... If you had a party to celebrate your engagement, it LIKELY won't be a big deal. Again, it's all up to one person interviewing your fiancee sometime down the road. You can choose to be extremely safe, or live in the gray area. Nobody can tell you with any surety what the CO will do, however, if they believe a wedding ceremony happened, you will almost surely be denied.
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-03-04 18:39:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresNOA2 rx...now what?

Your post caught me offguard, wow NOA2 in October?  But your timeline says April 24, so I'll assume that's accurate.  Your MNL case number should be available any day from the NVC.  Could be today, tomorrow or sometime next week, but definitely it should be soon.  As soon as that happens, start following Hank_'s post about the next steps.  Step 1 would be paying the visa fee at BPI, then scheduling the interview.  Other steps will follow, but that is definitely the first.

 

Concurrently, you should prepare all the items you will send (or take) for the Affidavit of Support and proof of relationship, along with the other items your fiancée will need at St. Luke's and the interview.  For me that meant: Affidavit of Support and supporting docs (tax returns, bank statements, letter from employer, check stubs), proofs of relationship (photos, chat logs, receipts, etc), as well as my Birth Certificate (original and copy), Divorce Decree (original and copy), another letter of intent.  I think a few more things, but that's the bulk of it.  I sent those things between the NOA2 receipt and the MNL case number confirmation.  You can send those any time, or prepare them to take with you if you plan to travel there.

 

You can fill out your fiancée's forms.  I did it with my fiancée online, then I emailed them to her and she printed them out (she was actually filling them out there, but had a problem with the printer that was solved by me sending her completed forms to print).  It won't matter where they are printed, but she does need them in hand for the interview.

 

I understand that you can pay the BPI fee online if you have a BPI account.  My fiancée has an account with BPI but found it easy just to go to her local branch and pay the fee in person.  Note that you will have to print the transaction form BEFORE going to the bank.  Again, all that info is in Hank_'s post.  Read his post a couple times and it will really get you up to speed fast.

 

Good luck with everything!


Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-05-02 14:23:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresCan anyone answer this question? Please and thank you :)

I agree with the post above mine.  You can travel anywhere in the USA and get married anywhere in the USA.  If you travel internationally, you will not be able to re-enter the US without AOSing first.  DON'T connect through Vancouver, BC!

 

Domestic travel is 100% ok.  Some folks get married in Vegas, or elsewhere; Hawaii is perfectly acceptable.  Just don't go anywhere that would require YOU to have a passport.


Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-05-02 13:49:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresFees after NOA2?

What country will you be doing the visa in?  It does make a difference... You will have a medical fee of around $200, maybe more or less depending.  You will have a visa fee of $240.  Other fees vary.


Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-05-08 13:38:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresK1 visa, not married within 90 days, overstay?

Too many people offer relationship advice when posters are really just trying to navigate the visa process.  Please leave the relationship thoughts to yourself.  Every day engaged people break up, or delay the wedding, often to later get back together or not.  The visa process is long and expensive yes, but so is a relationship if both in the same country.  The visa is just a part of our journey that we must endure.  Don't judge others because of relationship issues.  I'm almost certain everyone on this board has had relationship difficulties at some point in the past.  Attacking posters or judging for their own relationship challenges is quite inappropriate.  If you have something to offer regarding the visa process then by all means do so.  Otherwise leave the personal issues personal. 

 

This process is so danged hard, I don't know why people feel the need to jump on others' emotions, unless it makes them feel good about themselves to put others down.

 

Good luck with your decision and the visa process.


Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-05-08 23:30:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresAffidavit of Support

As long as you exceed the guideline you shouldn't have a problem.  If you were right at the cutoff you might want to be prepared with more info, but you are well over.  I didn't send any bank, property, life insurance or other asset info as my income exceeded the guidelines by a comfortable margin.  With only 2 people total, $33k is a comfortable margin.  You do want to include as much confirmation of that income as possible (tax returns, pay stubs, letter from employer, etc.) to fully demonstrate your income, but that should be all you need.

 

Good luck!


Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-05-08 11:17:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Proceduresi-134 Affidavit of support problems, please help!!!!

I believe you may have a problem.  You will need to show an ability to support yourselves, or have someone who meets the requirements to be able to do so.  You future employer might help, but it doesn't provide the solid documentation that pay stubs and a tax return do.  A letter from a future employer may or may not help, as it can demonstrate a possibility of income, but doesn't demonstrate actual real income.

 

As far as your mother goes, she doesn't meet the guideline income requirement for 4.  Other assets including the car and home are problematic.  My understanding is they accept those assets infrequently, and certain far removed from a guarantee.  To be able to be used, per some previous discussion, the home shouldn't be a primary residence and needs to have clear appraisal showing the value.  It needs to be a "liquid" asset, and from the discussion on this board, homes are less likely to be seen as liquid in this current economy. 

 

In short, you may have a problem.  If you can't find another sponsor, coming home, getting a job, showing solid check stubs with cushion over the requirement might be the best option.  If you can't get it done it time, you might get denied over this.  If you are, come home and get a job and reapply.  If you do, you would qualify the second time around.

 

The affidavit of support is a BIG issue.  There are primarily looking for 2 things at the embassy and that affidavit is one of them, with the relationship being the other (and you certainly should have no problem with that, given your situation).  If you can convince the CO is the big question, and I see problems in your case. 

 

I hope things work out for you.  Good luck!


Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-05-08 17:46:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresNeed Advised - Can I apply for another K1 visa

From just looking at the immigration issues, you shouldn't have a major problem.  After 2 K-1 visas lifetime you would need a waiver, or 1 approved K-1 in the last 2 years you would need a waiver.  You don't seem to meet either threshold that would require a visa waiver.

 

It looks like any future K-1 visa applied for would be a straightforward process, just like a first time through.

 

That said, 2 marriages of under 1 year, one which might still be in effect, might raise eyebrows at some point in the process, but more likely at the embassy than at the USCIS service center.  If you are still currently married you are, of course, ineligible.


Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-05-14 18:48:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresWedding in the Philippines!

You can have a "party" in the Philippines.  My fiancée and I had an engagement ceremony for her family.  We invited about 100 of her closest friends and family, rented a large room at the local resort, fed them, had an engagement ceremony complete with a pastora, had cake and wine and dancing.  But it was clear it was engagement only.  If you or your fiancée believe you got married, it's going to be tough to convince the CO that you didn't.  We had a PARTY, for the engagement, clearly not a wedding, but it satisfied my fiancée's need to celebrate with her family.

 

My fiancée had her interview yesterday and passed.  She should have a visa in hand within the week.  It's certainly possible.  But never ever ever refer to the party as a wedding.

 

Good luck!


Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-05-14 23:45:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresRequest for more Evidence??? Help!!! K1

By the way, my total package was under 15 pages.  It makes it a lot easier to dot the i's and cross the t's when the stack of documents is smaller.  They are not looking for quantity, just enough quality to clear the hurdle requirements.  In my opinion, make absolutely certain you meet the requirements, but don't overwhelm with too much extra info.

 

My two cents.


Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-05-08 11:24:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresRequest for more Evidence??? Help!!! K1

Maybe they couldn't find what they were looking for in that massive stack of papers...

 

You will have no idea what it is until you receive the hard copy.  You won't get any info over the phone.  It should arrive in under a week.  Just be prepared to move quickly so as not to lose too much time.

 

Good luck!


Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-05-08 11:14:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresMore Proof-help

Photos are secondary evidence.  Don't worry about sending more photos.  Proof that you were in Canada within the last 2 years, proof that your fiancée was in the US within the last 2 years are what is needed.  Obviously passports won't do it without stamps.  Bank statements will, the OP is/was already on the right track.  Make sure they are dated in the 24 months prior to your petition date.  Note/highlight the charges that demonstrate the location in question.  If you both have bank statements that doubly confirm that (i.e. both spent money on cards in the same store at the same time, both reflected on bank statements, for example). 

 

Photos are good to confirm the primary evidence but photos alone don't count.  Photos at events don't count, except as confirmation of the primary evidence.  Photos with a current newspaper don't count, except as confirmation of the primary evidence.  Someone suggested a report from CBP, which would be very strong primary evidence if you can get it. 

 

I think you're already on the right track.  Pull everything that you can, that was generated by a third party (passport stamps, which you can't get, are obviously third party, as are bank statements, hotel receipts, etc).  Photos aren't third party, even with hard coded dates (my camera has screwed up dates more than once when I failed to set the date initially).  They are nice to add, but not strong on their own.

 

Good luck!


Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-05-22 00:54:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresAppeal or not to appeal?

IMBRA not an issue.  That counts approved petitions. 

 

Refile, as everyone else said.  Don't use an attorney.  In a straightforward case like yours, if you use an attorney you will spend maybe 3-4 hours over a week or two gathering required documents and info.  If you don't use an attorney you will spend 3-4 hours over a week or two gathering required documents and info. About the same, right?

 

Then the attorney will go back and forth with you over a few weeks, making sure everything is perfect, slowing your process.  Then they will have someone type up your documents who is likely to make more errors than you, because they aren't you, they could and have made spelling mistakes, date mistakes, etc. that you are a lot less likely to make. 

 

And for this service, slowing down and putting typos in your petition, they will charge you a nominal fee.  The guides here are very clear.  Even I was able to follow them successfully.  Save time, money, and aggravation.  VisaJourney is your friend.

 

Good luck!


Grant PDXMalePhilippines2013-05-25 13:54:00
PhilippinesTrip to Manila
I took half a suitcase full of snicker minis and hersheys kisses (kisses seem to be the biggest thing in my experience). Simple things are the best. Kisses and snickers and m&ms. Since easter is tomorrow, I bet Monday you can find great deals on easter candies that were left over. Pick up as much as you can fit in your luggage.
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-04-07 23:28:00
PhilippinesMarriage is breaking apart
What was the date your first green card was issued? If you've had your green card for three years, haven't spent extended periods of time outside of the US, and are still married to the husband who brought you to the US (which it sounds like you are), you can apply now for citizenship. It's normally 5 years, but only 3 for spouses who meet the above criteria. Look into the requirements, you may be able to apply for citizenship immediately.

As far as getting a divorce, it sounds like you would have no problems getting divorced and still being able to apply for citizenship after having your GC for 5 years. As long as you entered into your marriage in good faith, getting a divorce won't cause you to lose your legal status here. In fact if you have your 10 year GC, which it sounds like you have, a divorce for any reason won't cause you to lose status at this point.

If you meet the criteria above, you could try filing for citizenship immediately and get that finished and then if you still want the divorce contact an attorney to get that started. There are divorce/family attorney's all over, get a recommendation where you live.

If you want to pursue the divorce immediately, find an attorney now. Then you can apply for citizenship after having had your GC for 5 years. The only issue would be if you didn't enter into your marriage in good faith, which based on your post doesn't seem to be a problem.

Good luck, I hope things work out for you whether you seek a divorce or are able to get counseling or otherwise remain with your husband. The grass isn't always greener somewhere else, so if you can work out your current relationship to your satisfaction it would be ideal.
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-03-28 00:16:00
PhilippinesFilipina
A person either has respect for others or they don't. Some people have no respect for anyone other than those they consider "equals". Some people respect everyone, regardless of race, nationality, income, social standing, etc. If you respect someone, and they know it, anything you call them can be a term of endearment. If you don't respect someone and they know it, anything you call them can be offensive.

There are too many people who lack respect for others. Some of them are marrying people they have no respect for. That, to me, is offensive in itself. It's not what they call them, it's how they see them and treat them in general.

I have a large group of very good friends who are American husband/Filipina wife couples. I see more respect in some relationships than others. It's a fact of life. Some husbands could say "my filipina" and really get under my skin. Others could say the same thing and bring a smile to my face. It's how they see each other, and how I see them. If my fiancee called me "her kano" I would feel great. Just belonging to her makes me feel good. And I don't see a lack of respect. Again, other people I know could say the same thing and it would bother me.

I understand what you are saying in the OP but it's because there IS a lack of respect or YOU SENSE a lack of respect (both are potentially valid). But, in my opinion, it's the respect that's the issue, not the terms used.

I have black friends who refer to each other using the "n" word, and sometimes "my n...". They have no lack of respect for each other. As much as they know and love me I would never use that word with them, as there is a lack of respect implicit in the term. I don't feel there is something implicitly disrespectful in the terms "my Filipina" or "my Kano". I would defend your right to see something implicitly disrespectful in the terms, but I don't see it. Again, I don't think I've used the term, but I feel lucky to have a Filipina fiancee (and soon wife) and if I were to use it, it would be will all affection and respect and if my wife doesn't see a problem with the term, there is no problem with its use. With that said, there are people who see an implicit lack of respect with the term, and I would be highly unlikely to use the term in their presence, in respect to their feelings.

In my humble opinion, it's not the terms, it's any feeling of superiority or disrespect behind them that's the real problem.
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-04-09 13:53:00
PhilippinesFilipina
Edited to add: Sorry for the long rambling post below. This has been an ongoing concern of mine, as well, for a long time.

Honestly I don't think I've ever used the phrase "my Filipina" refering either to my ex-wife or my fiancee. However, if I did use the phrase it would be with great pride. If my fiancee every called me "her kano" I would be proud as well. I am happy to be in the relationship I have. My apologies to everyone else here, but I believe I've found the most amazing woman there is. I am a lucky kano.

I believe that when people of either gender look for a mate they look for someone who has the qualities they value in a spouse. For some people the qualities they value aren't the qualities I would value. I do see objectification and "hunting" in a number of the Fil-Am couples I know, and it does bother me, a lot. There are qualities that are very common to a specific country or region, that might be called "stereotypes" but are really just recognition that there are cultural differences from region to region.

When I met my ex-wife I was not looking for a wife. I certainly was not looking for a filipina wife. I met my now ex- on a business trip and we got involved. I just happened to be in the Philippines, instead of Belgium, the Netherlands, Tennessee, Texas, or any of the other countries I was visiting. The relationship didn't work out, but I came out of the relationship with 2 beautiful sons (one pinoy, one fil-am, and i have custody of both, due to the nature of our relationship "not working out"), a lot of pinoy and pinay friends. I also have a lot of respect for differences in the filipino culture and was fairly certain that any future relationship would be with a filipina. There are cultural aspects of the philippines that I find superior to anywhere else in the world. And it's NOT a deferential spouse I'm looking for. Now, some of these are generalizations that are not true in every case, but these are things I find very attractive about filipinos: command of the english language, strength of familial relationships, general happiness (I've never met a happier nationality, in general), and for a foreign country, they are very "western" in morality and ethics. I am in love with the Philippines.

With that said, I've always have discomfort with those who see the Philippines as a buffett. There are guys who want to go sample every girl that might be available. Unfortunatly, the economic situation of the Philippines AND many other countries means that there will be a lot more girls available in the Philippines than the US or many other western countries. Yes, the economic situation does drive all of us (even American and Western European women see the ability of a guy to earn a paycheck as a "good" quality; but the economic difference in the Philippines means most any paycheck is a "good" thing). I didn't go "shopping" in the Philippines. I did start to look at sites to "meet" online and try to figure out who had the right mix of qualities to fit me AND who could stand to live with my qualities, good and bad. I found one. We spent months getting to know each other before I traveled to meet her. She is the only one I went to see, I knew before I went that it was all or nothing, not a chance to try several on for size. She knows my history, good and bad, she knows my anxieties, my fears, my baggage and my personality issues, and she likes me anyway. Although income factors in (it has with every woman I've ever dated) it is not the only factor.

I love the fact that I found someone who is a good fit for me. The culture in the Philippines means there were a lot more possible fits there, on average, than most other places I might look. Call it stereotype, I call it recognition of cultural differences, and appreciating that there are places that are superior, in many aspects, to the place where I live.

The economy of the Philippines, Africa, and eastern European countries leaves people of both genders open for abuse by those from weathier countries. It's unfortunate, but I've always seen abuse of anyone based on economic need, even here in the US it happens, as a "bad" thing. There will always be those who abuse it, and the poverty in the Philippines leaves many open to abuse. I don't like it, but it is a reality. I wish those of us who care could change it. I guess we do, one person, or family, or community at a time. But those who abuse the disparity likely see us as doing exactly what they are. They're wrong, but they are "wrong" in so many things...

Edited by Grant n Karleen, 08 April 2012 - 08:23 PM.

Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-04-08 20:21:00
PhilippinesBroadcasting wedding live on the 'net
I've broadcast events before... the biggest problem is getting the sound right... the video seems to work ok, but the sound is tough at a distance outside... might need to connect to an external microphone

I've used skype, gotomeeting and ym (if just connecting to one other). of those 3 gotomeeting is the most flexible for what you can do, and you can get a 30 day free trial...
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-06-10 19:03:00
PhilippinesMiddle name
I have 2 sons, one has 2 first names, mom's maiden name and my last name. The other has 3 first names, mom's maiden name and my last name. I don't see a problem with it, 3 names is common in the US and 4 isn't unheard of. The Philippines custom isn't terribly out of line, as middle names are often family names. And in parts of the US the custom is similar. However, I do agree with the other poster, Mr. Smith's opinion counts significantly :)
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-05-19 15:40:00
PhilippinesFront Loading on a K-1 Application
My entire application was 10 pieces including the check and the application as 2 pieces of the the 10. 2 pages were prior divorce decrees. I might do it differently if I did it again, but pretty much everything was 1 or 2 pages. I did not submit letters of intent, although I did mention in my cover letter that we planned to marry within 90 days of her arrival. There was no letter from her. We were approved without RFE. I had only 1 visit of 9 days to the Philippines prior to submitting our petition.

I'm not saying it was the right way to go, just pointing out that more isn't always necessary.
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-06-08 21:15:00
PhilippinesUNUSUAL PROBLEM - HELP
Actually after reading about the required info on http://manila.usemba...th-abroad7.html it looks as though the CRBA is not possible due to "Evidence of the couple's relationship prior to the conception of the applicant. The burden of proving a claim to U.S. citizenship, including blood relationship, is on the person making such claim. Photos prior to the time of conception, letters, and other correspondence may help establish the couple's relationship prior to the conception of the applicant."

Given the above it seems that CRBA is not possible. It looks like your child would need to be a K-2. Even though a US Citizen is listed as the father, the child doesn't have an immediate claim to citizenship, given the CRBA requirements.

It might look funny and you may have to explain things various times. You could always make an appointment with the USEM to comfirm, but it looks as though K-2 would be the correct route. Alternatively, have your fiance make a few calls, to the department of state or USCIS or an infopass appointment to discuss it with a real person.
Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-06-11 23:32:00
PhilippinesUNUSUAL PROBLEM - HELP
I would attempt to get a CRBA. The information on http://manila.usemba...itizenship.html does say that it must be the biological parent, however given your situation I would make an appointment to go to the embassy and discuss it with them. It's best if it's the father goes but based on what the website says it's not mandatory. I would give that a shot and worst case explain it to them and see what they say.

If they don't give the CRBA then you would still need to go for the visa. Given the current Philippine passport it shouldn't be an issue.

If they are not given the CRBA and a US passport, the biological father doesn't really need to be involved. My stepson, now adopted son, came to the US without anything being done by his biological father whose name was on the BC... In the Philippines the mother has a pretty solid claim on the kids.

Edited by Grant PDX, 11 June 2012 - 10:25 PM.

Grant PDXMalePhilippines2012-06-11 22:22:00