ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

Now be honest Empress...what would you rather be doing... breaking a sweat on a mountain bike, or breaking a sweat in the sack while getting some ?


That's an impolite question to ask a lady.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-16 13:11:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

I see peeps here in Alaska doing that kind of stuff...mountain biking, rafting, etc... and I always think to myself...; "####### are they doing that for when they could be knocking off a piece right now".


They're likely in the midst of a breakout.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcqc5oHhDZE
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-16 12:12:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

Doctors these days have cures for just about anything. And if your lucky enough and have those tough ####### Frisian/Norwegian antibodies like myself...well then there's not much worry about catching something. :)


I'd like to avoid genital herpes--although apparently I'd get to do more white water rafting, mountain biking through the forest, and smiling.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-16 11:58:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

Or even better yet, the hot tub and hookers.


Uh...well, as fun as that sounds, isn't it kind of unsanitary?
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-16 11:36:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

the 99 cent shrimp cocktail in Vegas will get you every time, especially if consumed with those yards of margarita you can buy on the strip


Now you tell me! I should have stuck with the giant pretzel from New York New York.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-16 11:00:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

This is why the UK forum is what it is. Seriously you people have zero sense of adventure. It even shows in your post.


How about Brit-style tabloid headline?

EMPRESS, POSH & BECKS IN RUB VEGAS SEX ROMP
Empress overheard saying in Russian, "I shouldn't have had that shrimp."
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-16 10:17:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

This is why the UK forum is what it is. Seriously you people have zero sense of adventure. It even shows in your post.


:lol:

I have to hand it to you, Kip. You're an odd duck. :star:

Edited by Empress of Groovy, 15 March 2011 - 10:57 PM.

Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-15 22:54:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

Keep going...don't stop now. :devil:


Then, all of a sudden, I felt unwell. I think it was the shrimp.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-15 22:03:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread
I stayed in a swim suite once in Vegas. I think it was designed for ladies to "entertain" their gentleman patrons. I mean, friends.

I felt so dirty, and yet...
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-15 21:53:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

It's actually a disguise I wear to repel a certain kind of male


Good thinking!
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-09 16:50:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

I'm reminded of this too (not sure about the hawt FIL).....and I get it from someone physically fit, my own age (actually, one year younger) and with a full head of hair.

This whole "feminism" thing seems to have worked out better than wearing the skimpy fashions of the 80s in a cold climate :thumbs:


Sure. Underneath it all, you're just a man-hating lesbian who wears men's shoes and lives on Cheetos and Mountain Dew.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-09 12:45:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

Totally regional. Where you and I are from, where they grow red-blooded New Englandahs, a cantaloupe would never suffice.


Indeed. We have very high standards.

Now, pardon me whilst I steal away to dream of my hawt deceased FIL.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-08 23:07:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

Yeah, my boyfriend's dad is hella hawt for a 72-year-old, and is totally on the Facebook too so I can ogle him when I like.

I think we should talk more about how much we like to give BJs. I think that's a super-appropriate topic; perhaps we can also trade tips!!!


I thought today's modern man used a sun-warmed cantaloupe. Maybe that's a regional phenomenon?
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-08 22:27:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread
Every day, I'm reminded of why I married someone with social skills, decorum, and a sense of propriety.

With totally hawt immediate family members.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-08 22:24:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread
Gee whiz! I forgot to mention that my father-in-law is like, scorchio! (Thanks, Maven!) Although he's deceased, and I never actually met him. :mellow:
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-03-08 17:24:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

Yes, but you haven't yet listed the things he does in the buff yet.


Oh yes...puts together IKEA furniture with his bare hands, splits logs (naked save for wool socks & waterproof suede boots), and rebuilds transmissions.

Rowr
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-02-17 22:17:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

I'll try with my limited knowledge... here goes:

In 2004 I bought a green wooly jumper because it was so cold in Kansas. I noticed that it was made in Wales. After awhile it became my favorite jumper and so I thought it would be good to pair it with a Welsh woman. So I jumped off the plane into the wilderness where I found one that matched it well and brought her back with the exclusive purpose of having her wear it and nothing else at the stove. Naturally, she was so happy to be away from her dreadful thatched cottage from the 16th century and in my modern 20th century home with the finest materials you can buy at home depot.


You had an evil overweight ex who took you for everything before this, right?
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-02-17 22:15:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

I think its quite clear maven that we are all failures at this objectification thing.


What?! I'm doing an excellent job, thank you.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-02-17 20:31:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread
Goodness!

I forgot to mention his endearing explosive anger when I even look in the direction of another guy. The other guy doesn't even have to be British! But it's totally hot when he accuses me of being a ho--it just proves his love and devotion.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-02-17 17:33:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

Physically, yes they can be easily removed. But then you must address the psychological addiction. How else can you explain how a rational human being would think that black (or any color for that matter) socks and mandals were a good combination?

:unsure:
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-02-16 10:31:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread
My goodness! I forgot to mention tea!

Rowr...

My fairskinned stud as he sips his Assam tea in his armchair, speaking eloquently and convincingly about the wonders of the U.S. food supply and the superiority of American bacon, tea, chocolate, and white bread--and vegetables that are often a shade lighter than elsewhere. He thanks his lucky stars that I pulled him out of that deprived and depraved land!

My pudgy, unkempt American brothers, of course, can't help but scowl at him because of the attention he gets from the ladies as a result of his "cute" accent and undeniable hawtness.

Rowr...
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-02-15 14:01:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

The wife would tell you that's not quite the case. :whistle:


Well then, she must not be the real deal! Hummmph!
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-02-14 10:05:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

What American female can resist an English accent, eh? (Or Ulster accent for that matter :P )!

Why should I settle for listening to an American male the rest of my life? My God, my husband even snores with an accent! Of course, I'm sure that happens because he sleeps naked...............


But the question is, what is his shoe size?

*snork!*
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-02-09 16:40:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread

Darn it, I can't objectify my MENA man in here. Perhaps I should restart the Hot Arab Club in the MENA forum. Those Arabs, now they know how to be real men!!


I must say, I remain intrigued by the Hot Arab Club. As in, I assume it was a thread? Was it deleted? How did I miss it?

My interest is purely scholarly.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-02-09 15:31:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread
Actually, I should come clean: I'm paler than my Limey husband.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-02-08 22:10:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread
My SO finds the U.S. a wonderland! English men fall over themselves when they see the glory that is the United States of America--vast riches, big cars, gigantic microwave ovens, sunshine, and barrels of ibuprofen. Once they arrive in the States, their families demand that they immediately send back such American delicacies as Milwaukee's Beast Light, Hershey bars, and Wonder Bread--all of which would remain intact following a nuclear meltdown and thus travel well. You ladies married to Brits, you know what I'm talkin' about? Can I get a Hallelujah?
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-02-08 20:39:00
United KingdomRidiculous objectification of our SOs thread
Rowr...

My exotic Limey, skin so fair, shiny Docs, raising whinging to high art, parked inside the carpeted, wallpapered pub for the football, downing pints of Stella and using very, very bad language. :luv: (L)

Rowr...
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2011-02-08 18:33:00
United KingdomEverything I need to know I learned at CABA Turkey School

Me too. :( Sadness. Except then I was told that I was overeducated and lacked morals, and that it was ALL OUR FAULT as dirty CABA women that men look at porn because we have no morals and raise immoral men.


Like the adage goes, all men are born of Twinkies.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-05-01 20:07:00
United KingdomEverything I need to know I learned at CABA Turkey School
I've just been told that I'm uneducated and lacking grace and culture! :angry:

I'm going to go break a window and then scarf down a bag of pork rinds.

Edited by Empress of Groovy, 01 May 2012 - 02:06 PM.

Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-05-01 13:57:00
United KingdomEverything I need to know I learned at CABA Turkey School
You ladies are an inspiration! :thumbs:

Now, I'm off to have a Ding Dong before I start browbeating my husband to chisel the hard skin off my feet. :star:
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-04-28 21:08:00
United KingdomEverything I need to know I learned at CABA Turkey School
CABA = Canadian American British Australian [also includes anyone with CABA tendencies, such as an affinity for fried foods and team sports]
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-04-27 22:05:00
United KingdomEverything I need to know I learned at CABA Turkey School

Fries with Whiz, FTW!


Staashi, you are well on your way to becoming a Pavo 10 (total enlightenment) CABA goddess.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-04-27 21:59:00
United KingdomEverything I need to know I learned at CABA Turkey School
1. The way to a man's heart is through having him feed you fries smothered in Cheez-Whiz.
2. A man needs support--in the form of a girdle that keeps his paunch and love handles in check.
3. Wearing PJs to the supermarket says, "I am a woman of sophistication."
4. UGGs = OMG YES!
5. Wearing a boilersuit to bed sends just the right message.
6. His credit card = your credit card.
7. Twinkies supply essential nutrients.
8. Homecooked meal = Hungry Man dinner. We need time to pursue other interests, such as henpecking and floor tiling.
9. Guzzling more beer than your man leads to high praise.
10. Having a man with dishpan hands = badge of honor. ("Madge! He soaked in it!")

What have you taken away from CABA Turkey School?

Edited by Empress of Groovy, 27 April 2012 - 09:53 PM.

Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-04-27 21:49:00
United KingdomBaked Beans!
I like both kinds of baked beans, but neither on toast. I think the first time I had the British-style baked beans was in Belfast. I liked them, but having them w/ breakfast stuff was a little weird. Of course, so was having a Guinness with breakfast, but I adjusted!

Fresh & Easy (locations in CA, NV, and AZ) sells the Heinz beans for a reasonable price.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-03-07 13:20:00
United KingdomBaked Beans!

I love beans on toast.. we ate that a lot growing up.. it has to be the beans with molasses, brown sugar etc.. I dislike the beans that are in the tomato sauce


Marilyn, you are a true (North) American patriot!
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-03-06 16:47:00
United KingdomEducation System - UK compared to US?
You may want to ask a mod to move this to the UK subforum.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-09-04 14:02:00
United KingdomSpotted Dick

Icy hands are not good for reheating spotted dicks.


I've heard that, but I hope it isn't true because I've just placed an order for multipurpose ice gloves. :angry:
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-09-20 16:46:00
United KingdomSpotted Dick
Oh dear. I may have to consult with my podiatrist. Also, I'm thinking of contacting a flooring expert and having a cobblestone kitchen floor installed. Not very practical, but I have to keep my eyes on the prize.
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-09-20 15:20:00
United KingdomSpotted Dick
I'm thinking of making my very own spotted ####### using common household items and a large knife. What would happen if I didn't wear stilettos?
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-09-20 14:19:00
United KingdomSpotted Dick

Say NO to low quality custard.

Posted Image

Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm :P


Everything's nicer in Devon!
Empress of GroovyFemaleUnited Kingdom2012-01-14 19:35:00