biggish data

Monthly Thread for March 2011

Ugh, sorry for the double post, phone is weird and I can't edit from here!

Anyway, I told him this will lessen his prep time, no combing and re-combing, moisturizing, etc. The man used to take twice as long as it took me to get myself and two kids ready!

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2011-03-03 07:02:00

Monthly Thread for March 2011

My husband had a traumatic day today... He was waiting for me to come cut his hair with the clippers and I hear "okay, I am just going to play with it, not mess it up!... Oh no, I messed it up!" he had forgotten to put the length guard on the clippers and started to shave his head. Ended up with a big bare patch behind one of his ears. I laughed before I could help myself, and I felt bad got him, but all I could think wad, thank God it wasn't me that did it! I ended up having to shave almost all of it off, and now Dahlia won't let him hold her without crying because he looks different

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2011-03-03 07:00:00

I am really not sure. I thought it was strange that she was so focused on the beginning of our relationship, when we have already been married two years, have a kid together, etc. The person in the next cubicle interviewed two or three people in the time it took for her to to us. I have heard that since we were adjusting to a ten year PR status instead of two year that it might be more involved because it's like AOS and ROC at the same time. Not sure how much truth there is to that though.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2011-04-15 00:31:00

ok so this has been bothering me since yesterday..i am a surgical nurse..and i worked with this doctor yesterday and he asked where my name was from and of course i say i my husband is Jordanian..and all of he said does he carry bombs..he totally caught me off guard and i am standing with my surgical patient unconcious with anthesia and my scrub tech.. i just look at him like what the f*uck.. and eariler i said to him. i was a patient of yours i had a miscarriage totally didn't remember. The whole time just being professional ..and after that incident i was in the break room eating and he comes in there asking if my husband plays soccer and if he would like to come play on sundays..i was like this conversation is stupid..and then he goes well your native american do you know of this book..and me i was like yeah i know ..blah blah..and my husband works sundays.. it was so surreal.. later i ccome home didn't say anything to my husband about the incident at work..and i get a phone call and it's the doctor apolozing for what he said cuz i was still new and he shouldn't have been teasing me.. I was like yeah when you said that i thought maybe it was a slip of the tongue..and it's not like i heard something similar..thanks for calliing me and apologiziing.. and today some of the staff asked me what happen...now i feel all weird and ######... ok just want to vent..Not tell whole story but just ###### weird..makes me mad sorry for the typos..

That is kind of funny... I am a nurse too and had a surgeon say something pretty out of line to me about being Muslim during a surgery once. It was awkward, because it's not like you can walk away or something.

I don't think i was overly anxious about the interview... i just hate being late, we had an hour long drive ahead of us, etc...

Anyway, the interview was not what I expected at all. We were in there about 40 minutes together, and the woman asked us a LOT of questions about how we met, our courtship, when and why we married, and spent about 15 minutes talking about why and how I converted to Islam, and why my husband was ok with marrying a new convert (I had converted about 3 months before we met.) Some questions about our families (to Ahmed: "Why was your family ok with you marrying an American? Wouldn't they rather you have married a born Muslim Egyptian woman?") Asking about how we deal with cultural differences, having been raised in different societies... She was really confused about the whole meeting online thing and asked us to explain Myspace, Yahoo chat and Skype. She asked questions about the dowry that was listed in our Egyptian marriage contract ("1001LE? Couldn't you just give her a cow or something?")She asked him what my older daughter's birthday was, her full name, and our daughter together's birth date. The last five minutes I gave her our joint proof, she flipped through some photos, and she said okay, congratulations, you will receive your green card in 7-10 days.

SOOOOOO glad to be done until citizenship! And we are in no hurry for that, so it may be more than 3 years before we file. I need a break from USCIS.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2011-04-14 20:36:00

OMGGGG. Half an hour until we need to leave and he has not gotten ready yet, and decides this is the appropriate time to call his family and chat? Is he trying to make me more anxious?!

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2011-04-14 13:45:00

AOS interview tomorrow... Hard to sleep!

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2011-04-14 04:18:00

MENA Spouses Poll

Egypt
Male
No

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2010-06-25 12:13:00

I somehow misplaced this thread in the shuffle... :unsure:

I have tried to contact that woman a couple times since I posted this, but she hasn't gotten back to me, and didn't show up at Jummah the last couple weeks. I am not sure what's going on with her, but I make dua for her.

Okay, something that has come up with all the baby-business going on in our part of the woods (we are having a girl, woo! Now I can put off dealing with circumcision! :thumbs:

) is the Egyptian naming thing. I am sure some of you are familiar with this, you have First-name father's-name grandfather's-name, and so on. My husband has five names, which is pretty common. He actually managed to have them put all of his names on his visa, somehow (but only two made it onto his SS card

) Anyway, he has been insisting to me that this form of naming is Islamic, but I am really unsure about that. The closest thing I could find was this wikipedia article on Arabic names (if you scroll down to the "Arabic family naming convention" part, it explains it better), but it doesn't specify if it is cultural, religious, or what. I know there are a lot of non-Arab Muslim countries that don't practice this naming convention, and I have a hard time believing that all those people are misinformed.

For the record, I have no issue with this type of naming scheme, and I will throw as many of my husband's names onto our daughter's name as the US government will allow.

I am just curious about the origin of it.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2010-01-31 23:06:00

Something I have been thinking about lately... I met a woman recently at Jummah who was a new convert, she converted just a couple weeks ago. When I met her she seemed happy, exuberant, thrilled with her decision to become Muslim. I made plans to meet with her the next week and get to know eachother better, because the town that we live in does not have a very big Muslim population (I know of a handful of families, but we have no masjid or anything) and she seemed eager for companionship. When we got together a couple days ago, she was really distressed. She seemed overwhelmed by everything: learning how to pray, doing things "right", coming out to her family and friends, dealing with her family's reaction, things like that. She told me that she thought if she wasn't able to establish a basis of support or community within the Muslims in the area, that she didn't think she'd be able to stay Muslim. I tried to encourage her and support her and let her know that when you convert, it is a process, and you are not expected to know everything overnight. I gave her some prayer instructions that I had printed for her, and we talked about making wudu, and things like that. She was worried about wearing hijab, and all of those details that are so easy to get tangled up in in the beginning. I suggested that she try to focus on her faith, on establishing her deen, learning to pray, and getting used to the idea of being Muslim, before she delved deeper into everything else. I don't know if that was right or wrong, but it seemed to relax her a little and when she left, she seemed more positive. I remember what it was like in the beginning for me, living in this place where I felt no sense of connection with anyone, and it is tough. I suggested she attend some Dars that are given at a masjid that's about an hour from where we live, but I'm not sure if she'll attend on her own, and I have to work the night that the Dars is given. I am planning on trying to keep in touch with her, and get together as much as I can, but I feel bad that there was not more that I could do to help.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2010-01-26 13:35:00

hmmm, those adjustable hijabs might solve my stethoscope-and-hijab issue.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-11-18 21:10:00

QUOTE (Staashi @ Nov 11 2009, 07:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wow! That's alot of money? What are you all going to do with it? Charity or something like that?

These days, with neither of us working, we are our own charity, unfortunately! I'll probably use it to buy her some much-needed new clothes and shoes.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-11-11 22:54:00

Some random guy in a bagel shop gave my daughter Abigail $100 today because she was able to recite Surah Al-Fatiha.

He told her he'd give her more if she came back Sunday and recited another Surah for him

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-11-11 22:40:00

QUOTE (doodlebugg @ Sep 4 2009, 05:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (amysaid @ Sep 4 2009, 06:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My daughter was in the bath earlier, playing quietly with her toys as she usually does... Hubby was in a bad mood over something else, and grumped to me that "it's bad to talk in the bathroom, because that's where Shaytan lives." I have heard that before, but I kind of just thought it pertained to not talking to people when you were actually doing bathroom business, not things like kids playing in the bath, singing in the shower, etc. Any thoughts on this?

My husband is the same way. Does your husband have kids of his own? Mine doesn't and I think that's the issue...he's never had to give a bath to a toddler/baby who doesn't know how to be quiet.

My kids always used to sing songs in the tub

It's just one of those things that either is going to change over time for him or you'll just have to deal with. It's not a biggie, you just have to wait to talk to him.

No, he doesn't have kids of his own... He swears he has experience because he "has spent a lot of time around his nieces and nephews", and I try to explain to him that there is a BIG difference between spending a few consecutive days together with kids you love and then getting a break from them, and living with kids that are your own 24/7. Anyway, he didn't harp on it, so I'm sure it'll be ok, but I was just kind of

because my daughter talks NONSTOP and I can't imagine a way, short of duct tape, that I could keep her from talking/singing/making noises while bathing

The bathroom business.. yeah, we will work on that. Singing a made-up song about going potty while you are going potty is probably not necessary

QUOTE (Rajaa_Reda @ Sep 4 2009, 10:12 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (amysaid @ Aug 31 2009, 05:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Melly 2 @ Aug 31 2009, 12:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

They sure do have a different attitude here in Egypt about ants at least.
My in-laws are not bothered by them at all. Gross. They will kill roaches, but still don't seem bothered by them. Double gross.

I always feel bad when killing bugs, but it doesn't stop me, and I just ask God to forgive me.

What really upsets me is the way I see horses and donkeys get treated here.
I was being driven one time by the family driver and we were held up by a horse pulling a cart. The horse was obviously past its limits and it was hotter than hades out and these guys were whipping that horse til I thought it was going to keel over. The sounds it was making and jumping up in the air just brought me to tears. I was so upset about this. And it wasn't the only time I've seen animals whipped and crying out.

I hope the people doing that rot in the lowest depths of hell.

However, having said that, I'm not sure what makes me all that different, as I'm willing to take an ants life.... meh.

I was complaining to Ahmed the other day because the owner of the Roof Cow across the street has not cleaned up the poop in the area where the cow is chained to for days, so the cow is being made to just lay in its own feces. It made me sad. Mostly because whenever I walk around in the apartment, the cow looks at me with its sad cow eyes. And then I go eat some kofta and wonder if the cow I'm eating had to wallow in its own poo and gave sad cow-eyes to somebody else before I ate it.

awwww that is so sad!

but you still finished your meal didn't you

Oh yeah. I ate some more just now, too With the cow looking at me the whole time

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-09-04 21:16:00

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-09-04 05:59:00

QUOTE (amal @ Aug 31 2009, 08:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (doodlebugg @ Aug 30 2009, 12:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My husband and I spent over an hour yesterday discussing whether or not it is ok to kill ants/bugs in general. We've had a lot of carpenter ants get into our bathroom so it's a daily occurence to end the life of at least one of the intruders, but is it ok in God's eyes? When I look at one of them for any length of time it's hard not to notice how perfectly formed they are. Then I think of the colonies back home waiting for him to come back and give the "all clear" message, etc. I mean it's a community just like we are, except they're ants. Even the Quran has a chapter named The Ant.

Are we being too sensitive or do others ever feel guilty about the amount of insects they kill?

I feel guilty killing anything. I try to let them go...unless they're crawling ON me...then it's to each their own!!! Hubster has no qualms about killing bugs...he'll squish one of these 50 pound roaches in a heartbeat! I'm too scared of them to kill them. They could carry away small children...ain't no way in heL LLLLL I'm steppin on that!!!

QUOTE (Jenn! @ Aug 31 2009, 01:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Astarte @ Aug 31 2009, 02:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I dunno they're bugs, do they really feel pain?

Invertebrates do not feel pain. I have no qualms about killing insects, philosophically speaking. Although actually doing it gives me the willies and I usually chicken out and get someone else to do it.

What? Seriously? they don't feel pain??? Can you show me proof of that? I'm really interested in reading about it. I thought every living object could feel pain. I mean, even flowers feel pain.....so surely insects do too, right???

Now, spiders...they aren't living...they are dead.... plain and simple...... (lol)

A quick search came up with this: http://en.allexperts...s-feel-pain.htm I hope it's true!

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-08-31 22:10:00

QUOTE (Melly 2 @ Aug 31 2009, 12:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I hope the people doing that rot in the lowest depths of hell.

However, having said that, I'm not sure what makes me all that different, as I'm willing to take an ants life.... meh.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-08-31 19:00:00

QUOTE (HLM @ Aug 30 2009, 01:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Unfortunately, I dont have a religious answer to this- I cant stand bugs by any means! I kill any I see -after screaming and whining for awhile after spotting them- and my husband totally thinks I'm cruel and to him all bugs are harmless while I studied microbiology and NOPE THEY ARE HARMFUL more than we think! They are very useful to the environment as a whole but not when they wandering about in my house...ewwwwww!!!!

I was cooking the other day and found a bunch of ants in the sugar... I pointed it out to my husband in disgust, and he just shrugged and said "Ants are your friends."

Ummm. I don't eat my friends, thank you

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-08-30 22:59:00

So what happens if you don't make up all of your fasts from last Ramadan before this Ramadan?

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-08-12 10:42:00

I think that sometimes as a a convert I am trying so hard to learn and do things the "right" way that it gets confusing. I don't speak the language, I have to rely on interpretations, I can barely even stumble over the words for prayer. So hijab seemed like something that was simple enough that I could do -- how hard is it to wrap a scarf around your head and cover up your boobies? For me I thought that if I wore hijab I would feel different, I was kind of in the fake-it-til-you-make-it stage of being Muslim, I didn't know anything about anything. I grew up basically an atheist, without any religious upbringing whatsoever, so for me to try to begin to instill a faith in a higher power in myself, it has been VERY difficult. But wearing a scarf... that was easy.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-22 23:07:00

QUOTE (Meriem_setif @ Jul 22 2009, 07:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Or if I wear it because it shows I am married. One man asked me if I was from India, LOL. I have pretty good peripheral vision and I have noticed people staring in shock, trying to figure out what I am. I just go on my merry way. I dont regret wearing hijab at all. I would definitely feel naked if I was to go out without it now.

haha. A woman in a grocery store asked me if I was from India, too! But mostly I just get people being surprised when I speak without an accent, or ask me where I'm from, or where my family is from. One of the girls in my daughter's preschool class would always ask why I wore it, apparently she would forget from one time that I told her to the next. I took off my hijab to be in my friend's wedding a couple weeks ago, which felt really weird. I usually take it off when I fly in the US, too, I just wear a hat and a turtleneck or something instead.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-22 21:10:00

QUOTE (doodlebugg @ Jul 22 2009, 02:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'll just come out and say that now I'm second guessing. We have had vandalism on our car and every single solitary day I get TONS of dagger-looks from ignorant people who probably just equate me with terrorism. It's not so bad here in Boston proper where I work (although today at a traffic light this dude crossed the road and stared at me like he could see the inside of my gut and it sent shivers down my spine (and not the good kind!)), but moreso where I live. I live in a predominantly white town that has about 50% Christian/40% Jewish and the rest is mixed. I'm not the only muslim but I am the only muslimah who covers and I think now I know why. I feel like an alien in the hometown that I grew up in which is where we live now. Neighbors no longer are friendly with me, one woman at a supermarket told me to go back where I came from, etc. etc.

I have had similar issues... had my car vandalized, racial slurs used toward me, lots of glares and dirty looks. I live in a medium sized city, but it is mostly white and hispanic. The only Muslims I have run into have been reverts like myself (two of them!) and a handful of male Muslim doctors. Most of the "born" Muslim women that I have met here don't cover except when they go to the mosque. Working as a nurse, I worried about my patients having an issue with it, but due to my school's dress code I end up wearing black hijab with brown or white underscarf, so they all usually think I'm a nun. hahah.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-22 16:59:00

QUOTE (amal @ Jul 21 2009, 10:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (MrsAmera @ Jul 21 2009, 11:51 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hmmm not arguing - since I wear hijab BUT just a thought. Cover your beauty...cover what's beautiful. Well... how far do we go with this? Toes? Fingers? No one has ever complimented me on much except for my eyes. I've had people literally stop me on the street to tell me how beautiful they are (not gloating just trying to make peace with this). Should I wear a face veil (burka style?) because they are attractive? *sigh* I dunno about this!

Actually...I had customers come in so I posted what I had written before I finished it. Actually, I can say that it most certainly CAN mean niqab but there's no way in hell that I'd ever wear one. Nothing against them but I can't breathe with things over my face so it's just not an option for me. I take it to mean to cover the things of beauty that u are able to , within reason. Some ppl believe that niquab is totally within reason but I don't really feel that way. It's not reasonable to me to cover my face and not be able to breathe... jmho though

Not to mention that if you wore the Saudi type niqab, the eyes would still be visible

I'm with you on the face covering stuff, whenever I have to put on surgical masks for isolation precautions in the hospital, i feel like i'm going to pass out from re-breathing my own air. gross.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-21 13:39:00

QUOTE (Ihavequestions @ Jul 19 2009, 02:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (amysaid @ Jul 19 2009, 04:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

abaya shopping in egypt, for me, was a dismail failure. we couldn't find any that were long enough and big enough for my height and fatness. it was disappointing.

i think i will have to buy one online and have it custom-made if i want something that fits properly, which generally means it'll be very expensive.

Ooooooooooooooh, no. Finding a seamstress will save you money. I lost a lot of weight after I bought my summer wardrobe last year. Last month I had it all taken in (I've developed quite a penchant for clothes shopping since I've been here so there was A LOT) and the entire thing cost 100 LE. I also had the same seamstress make a suit for me (tailored jacket, blouse, and skirt). I bought the material (175 LE) and she whipped it up for 200 LE (she even bought the thread, zipper, buttons, shoulder pads, etc.). Not only that, she made a head scarf from the same material as the blouse. It fits perfectly and looks amazing. She also picks up and delivers. Really, if you want nice abayas that fit, think about finding a seamstress.

Hmmm. you mind hooking a sister up with the seamstress?!

while i was there last time, my husband's sister made me a nice skirt, but i was really looking to find a kind of pretty abaya, something with some embroidery and such, which his sister can't do.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-19 16:57:00

abaya shopping in egypt, for me, was a dismail failure. we couldn't find any that were long enough and big enough for my height and fatness. it was disappointing.

i think i will have to buy one online and have it custom-made if i want something that fits properly, which generally means it'll be very expensive.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-19 16:35:00

Ah, thank you UmmSqueak! I guess I will suck it up and wear socks to the masjid. I wear open-toed shoes and sandals all the time, though (and saw a lot of women in Egypt doing the same?) so it's kinda weird

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-17 15:06:00

okay, silly question here... are womens feet considered part of their awra? and are you supposed to cover your feet when you're in the masjid, or when you're praying? because apparently if so, i did not get the memo. and it would explain why i was getting the beady eye from some Salafi sisters at the last halaqa i went to.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-17 04:23:00

I just got done reading this book called The Girl in the Tangerine Scarf (pretty good, kinda like Muslimah chicklit) and in several scenes through the book, women were doing salat outside in public-- places like parks, parking lots, etc. Especially when they were traveling somewhere, or couldn't get to a masjid at the time for prayer. I was under the impression that it's not really advisable for women to pray in public places, as you can't control who is seeing you bent over and such. Thoughts on this?

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-14 01:28:00

fasting today to make up for last Ramadan... yeeeah, i know, i'm late. but man, these days are SO FREAKIN LONG.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-13 18:19:00

QUOTE (lancer1655 @ Jul 7 2009, 02:13 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The fact that your reply accused me of being 'snarky' when in fact I was merely attempting to debate the question at hand with you, tells me a lot about how you have discussed this matter with the child's grandparents. You say you are asking for support, but your overwhelming desire to lock your young daughter's ideas for her at such an early age is only bound to lead to trouble at some stage in her life. You can't keep her away from people with differing beliefs for the entirety of her life. Hence the question of which is more important to you - controlling your daughter's beliefs or accepting your family without judging them - is actually very relevant.

I'll leave you with a hypothetical question (and make sure to stamp it with a question mark so there is no misunderstanding!):

30 years from now your daughter converts to Christianity and wants to teach her daughter about Christianity only. She feels threatened when the daughter is at your house and you are instructing her about Islam. She then decides it's in her daughter's best interests to see you infrequently and only when she can supervise the meetings. How will you feel?

I'm not trying to attack you, but you certainly implied that you wanted distance from the grandparents. I think you need to seriously think about the consequences of your actions. No matter what they believe, it is quite disturbing to me that you would consider cutting someone out of your life, or minimize their involvement, because of the reasons you have stated. Definitely suggests to me that the family unit is not your number one priority.

There was no question up for debate to begin with. I came here with a personal issue to ask advice, not to have my issue picked apart and questioned. I am 100% aware that I can't keep my kids away from people with differing beliefs, and I would not want to do that in any case. I want my daughter to be aware of and tolerant of people of all religions, beliefs, or lack thereof. I am actually an extremely open-minded person, despite whatever opinion you may have formed of me. Yes, I want my daughter to be Muslim. I want what is best for her, and I believe that Islam is the best for her. If she decides, as an adult, that Islam is not for her, then that will occur with me knowing that I have done everything I can in order to put her on the right path. However, I DO NOT think it is my place to push my faith on anyone who does not want it, just as it is not anyone else's place to push their religion on me and mine when I don't want it. As of this moment, I am making choices for the good of my child, and her religious upbringing is one of those choices. I have asked her grandparents for only two things: 1) NOT to disagree with the Islamic teachings that I am teaching my daughter (IE, not telling her that Muhammed (pbuh) was not a prophet, for instance, or that the Quran is not the word of God) and 2) If they want to share their beliefs with her (which I have no problem with) that they phrase it in such a way as to indicate that that is THEIR belief, not a fact. Such as saying "Well, we believe that Jesus died on the cross and was resurrected, but other people believe other things" instead of saying "Jesus died on the cross and was resurrected." Whenever my daughter repeats something to me that she heard one of her grandparents say, like when she told me that her grandma told her that Jesus was the son of God, I don't go off and tell her that her grandma is a liar, I tell her that Yes, that is what her grandma believes, that her grandma is a Christian, and that people believe a lot of different things. And then I tell her what I believe about whatever it is that she has mentioned. Add to this that they keep feeding her pork, when I have repeatedly asked them not to, tell her that her mother will burn in hell because she is Muslim, and refer to me using racial slurs such as "towelhead", yes, I do want to limit their influence on my kid.

Are we done now?

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-07 04:34:00

QUOTE (lancer1655 @ Jul 7 2009, 01:30 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Silly 5 minuted edit rule. I meant to add a "no" in front of matter. Anyway moving forward, I did not infer you would disown your child I was simply asking a question. However, this statement "and since it is important to me that my daughter be Muslim, then I am doing what I have to to make that happen."

How far are you willing to go to keep your daughter Muslim. Its also interesting that you bring up family as these grandparents ARE family.

It's hard to distinguish a question when there is no question mark involved. The joys of the English language! I am not going to continue this conversation with you, as I came to this thread for support, not snark. Have an excellent day.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-07 03:37:00

QUOTE (KHPerfectMatch @ Jul 6 2009, 11:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If you lived near Portland you could come to the Islamic School of MET near Washington Square and see everything in their library. There are TONS of stuff for kids...

I don't know where you live, but connecting your daughter with other Muslim children and participating in weekend school, or other activities at the masjid is the best thing you can do.

No easy answers on the grandparents question. But there are PLENTY of materials for kids. I've never art work and drawings were haram, and neither have the Muslims who publish these books...

My son was 9 when I married a very strict Egyptian Muslim (who had never had children of his own but thought he knew everything about how MY son should behave and be disciplined).

Thank you for your input, I appreciate all the suggestions

I live in Salem, so it's not out of the question to drive up to Beaverton, but it's not really convenient either. None of the masjids in Oregon are conveniently located for us here, they are both about an hour away (Bilal in Beaverton, and Salman al-Farsi in Corvallis). Where is the Islamic School of MET located? Is that the one that's in the building next to Bilal? I have thought about doing the weekend school thing, but I've never been sure about whether it costs money, and I felt kind of silly asking. Plus, I didn't really consider it as an option since it's a little far to drive. We do spend time with another Salem sister who has a daughter that's my daughter's age, but we are both recent converts and really just still trying to get our footing.

As for drawings/photos being haram, I just looked around on sunnipath.com and apparently several fatwa have declared it ok to use artwork in the production of things for children: http://qa.sunnipath....ew.asp?ID=18534

Regarding the husband stuff... Ehh. That's a tough topic for me, as I had several extremely awful stepfathers when I was growing up. I have vowed that I would not let anything like that happen to my daughter, even at the expense of my marriage. I hope your son will be able to heal from what he endured.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-07 03:33:00

QUOTE (lancer1655 @ Jul 6 2009, 11:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Its rather sad that you are limiting the time your daughter has with her grandparents. Why doesn't she get to make a choice about her religion as you had one year ago?
What will happen years from now when she forms her own opinion and sticks with it? You've shown your willing to alienate her from her grandparents, will you do the same to your daughter if she chooses Christianity.

I did say that I feel bad about limiting the time she spends with them. I am limiting her time with them because of their lack of respect for me and my family. I have done nothing to disrespect them or their beliefs, but they continue to disrespect ours. A five year old does not have the capacity to make her own decisions and choices about her religion. This age is critical as far as establishing beliefs that will last a lifetime, and since it is important to me that my daughter be Muslim, then I am doing what I have to to make that happen.

I resent your inference that I would ever disown my child.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-07 02:08:00

Salaam everyone, I have an issue I was hoping someone could help me out with, maybe direct me to some resources or something. I converted to Islam about a year ago, and as I have been trying to educate myself about Islam, I've also been trying to educate my daughter, who's almost six years old. One of the issues we have is that her paternal grandparents are Christian, and they refuse to stop talking about their religion to her. Now, I want my daughter to grow up with a knowledge of religions other than Islam, but I don't think that right now is the right time for her to be learning about them. I am trying to ingrain in her the beliefs that she needs to become a good practicing Muslim, but she is really conflicted. I have actually had to limit the amount of time she spends with her paternal grandparents, which I feel bad about, because she loves them a lot, and I know they love her very much. I have had numerous conversations with them, and even went over there one day JUST to answer their questions, converse with them about Islam in a non-confrontational way. Abigail loves to read books, and watch movies of course, like any kid, but I'm having a hard time finding English language Islamic materials. I would really like to find something similar to the illustrated biblical stories that kids read, only for Quran stories. Of course it gets tricky since artwork and drawings are debatably haraam, so I'm not sure what to do about that. I do have some childrens' nasheeds CDs that have been good at teaching her some good words, like Alhamdulilah, and that act as a good opening for conversation about things like Jannah and Ramadan.

Anyway, any thoughts/suggestions/comments would be appreciated

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-06 23:32:00

I have severe GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease) that makes it painful for me to go even 8 hours without food (like when fasting for blood tests) and I am pretty scared about fasting this Ramadan too. Not to mention fasting for 14 hours in the Egyptian heat...

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-07-01 19:06:00

QUOTE (chemaatah @ Jun 29 2009, 12:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

the chicken we buy is crescent halal, both whole chickens and chicken breasts. the lamb is from a farm in canada that's supposed to be free-range too. (i haven't visited the farm personally, but the description they provided on their website made me feel a lot better about my family eating it.)

Just curious -- where do you buy your chicken and lamb from? I live in Salem, but drive up to Tigard to the halal store on 99 to go shopping on occasion, but I haven't really checked out the meat. Wondering if there is a better place to buy it from that I am missing out on

QUOTE (UmmSqueakster @ Jun 29 2009, 11:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[/indent]Of course, the soy could be a problem. I know soy has been making my sister ill for years due to the hormones, until she stopped eating/drinking it recently.

I avoid soy as much as I can. I am 99% sure that soy formula I was fed as a baby led to my hypothyroidism as an adult... And they put so much of it in EVERYTHING these days. Ugh.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-06-29 20:17:00

QUOTE (humpkinpumpkin @ Jun 29 2009, 09:58 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ok so another thing I was thinking about not related to food, my husband has it in his head that he will have to answer for any of my discretions. He's been bringing this up a lot lately and I wondered if anyone else's husband talks about this. Like, if you don't pray 5 times/ day I will be the one to answer for it, etc.

yesyesyesyesYES. This has become quite the issue for my husband and I, since we have some difference of opinion on some things, and since I am still coming to terms with some aspects of being a Muslim. He has explained it to me that when the judgement day comes, when they look at my sins, they will ask me why I did this sin, and that it is the responsibility of my father, my brother, and my husband to prevent me from doing these sins. So if I do something wrong, I can blame it on my father, then my brother, then my husband. I couldn't tell you where that comes from, though, if it's Quran or hadith.

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-06-29 20:13:00

My husband said he has heard about it, but he thinks it's only if it's intentional. He said he'd look for the hadith on it and get back to me, but I am about to leave to run errands so it probably won't be until later tonight or tomorrow that I find out

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-06-26 17:48:00

A couple weeks ago, there was a news story that Michael Jackson had converted to Islam, after learning about it from his brother Jermaine, who converted long ago... He had also been living recently in Bahrain, which has a high Muslim population, and reported that he had learned a lot about Islam that he agreed with, but I don't think it was ever clear whether or not he had actually become Muslim or not. Anyway, at the press conference tonight when Jermaine announced Michael's death, he said "May Allah be with you always, Michael"... Hmmm, maybe he converted after all?

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-06-25 23:38:00

Aw man, I still have six days to make up from LAST Ramadan. It's so hard to think of doing when there's 17.5 hours between Fajr and Maghrib...

amysaid

Female

Egypt

2009-06-23 15:27:00