ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Philippinesmoney problems in paradise...

Every couple needs to decide early in the relationship how to handle finances. Some of us send money every month, some don't send money regularly but save for emergencies, some send no money but regularly send boxes, some help in other ways besides finances, and others do nothing. There is no right answer, just make sure that you have both agreed how things will be handled.

From my perspective, 10K (I'm assuming that is dollars) is a lot of money. Still, I would help as much as I could. But that's just me.

I just hope the brother comes out of this okay.

I agree. Good answer.

I made a decision when I first decided to ask my wife to marry me. I knew sending money home would be important to her (that's what she did before I met her, so how could I expect her to change now). I knew the best way for me to be happy, is for her to be happy. We do what we can. A little every month, a box or two a year, and a portion of emergencies. It's small compared to my whole budget, but it does add up over time. The key is, we agree on how much every time. No sneaking, no stories, and never a problem. We're happy to help when we can and taking each case one by one depending on circumstances.

If it was my brother, what would I do? My wife's brother is no different. Listen to your heart, your budget, and your wife. Welcome to being married to a Filipino, and also being part of something much more. I wouldn't change a thing in my life. Good luck.

-James
James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2012-12-17 22:15:00
PhilippinesWanting to make my fiancée to pay more at medical exam
First of all the OP is our friend, but I was questioning his fiance because she was doing her medical examination at st. lukes last monday and she said that the doctor asked her to see the psychiatrist becasue they saw that she has scaring on her arm. I don't remember when I took my medical examinations that the doctor went through every inch of my body,correct me if im wrong. we met this girl before but i didnt notice that she has a scar on her arm, she said she tried to commit sucide before thats why the doctor ask her to see the psychiatrist, in short she asked for more money from OP to able to do this. its just hard to believe that the doctor saw that or tells to the doctor that she is trying to commit suicide before. and now she is asking him for more money because she need another vaccanation i already told that to our friend that i dont remember paying something else after i paid for the first time. im not trying to make her look bad. I just wanted someone elses input. i feel that she is not being honest to his fiance:(
James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-03-25 17:33:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

Wedding bells will be ringing next weekend.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-09-21 22:04:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

She's here. Let the countdown begin for her move to California to live with her family.

 

Good news. My friend got his own apartment. With his better job, he can now afford it and moved out from his dad's. Just in time. My brother and I helped him move a few things across the yard last night. (Well, actually, I watched as he moved things and I drank beer).

 

By the way, his new apartment is across the yard from his dad's. Not a very far move, but far enough for his own privacy and the furthest he's ever lived from his parents. I guess he won't need that hotel tonight after all.

 

Well, since she is here, I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt and hope things work out well. It's too late to convince my friend to leave her in the Philippines. I really didn't intend for this to be a drama story, even though I know it turned into one, so I'll quit posting for a while in the hopes of my friend's relationship to turn out well. I can't really hope for that while continuing to post here on how bad she is. So I will stop.

 

If things take a significant turn, I'll let everyone know, but it may or may not be a while. In the mean time, let's all hope for the best. Thanks.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-07-11 16:43:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

 

For sure. I just ran a search on CheapoAir, one-way from MNL to PDX for Friday (tomorrow) and the cost was $1146.

Most likely that is for a 22 hour or more travel time, going to LAX first, or having more than one layover. He wanted to pay extra to keep it in Japan and only 16 hours long.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-07-10 15:53:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

There's no direct flight to PDX from MNL. He did not want her to fly to LAX and then PDX because of the size of the LAX airport. He wanted her to have the shortest flight without going to LAX. The shortest is to Japan and then PDX, as we did last year, with only slightly more than 16 hours travel time. I looked it up after he told me the price. $1700 was the cheapest for that flight with such short notice. This cost is a direct result of it taking so long for her to finish her CFO.

 

Funny. I've already talked to him about the comparable price of his fiancée to a legal girl in Nevada. He should have saved his money for the plan ticket and just gone to Vegas with me. By the time he pays for her Vegas wedding, just before she moves to California, he'll wish he had.


Edited by James and Cynthia, 10 July 2014 - 03:52 PM.

James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-07-10 15:49:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

Wow. $1700 for one-way tickets to Japan and then the US. (When we went to the Philippines last year, I paid $1000 for round-trip versions of the same tickets.) He got tickets with the shortest travel time so the layovers will be fast for her. Hopefully the typhoon doesn't mess up their plans. He's also sending another $250 for a going away party and a van for the family to take her to the airport. She'll be here Friday morning, his only guaranteed day off this week (new job).

 

BTW: I agree with most all of the posts above. I am supporting my friend for his decision and I truly hope all works out for him.

 

However, on the other hand, I am also letting him know that he'd better be strong when ###### hits the fan. No crying, stalking, harassing, suicide attempts, or domestic violence charges allowed. If things don't work out, walk away. I don't want him to let his broken heart take over his mind and then see him in a worse position in life. Instead, he'd better chalk it up as experience, the same experience that most of us have had several times in our lives before reaching his age; the type of experience that you can only learn from your own mistakes because you refuse to listen to others who have been there.

 

Sometimes I wonder who is scamming who here. Here's a relationship where neither of them are really in love with the other. Neither of them trust each other or respect each other. They are both just staying with the relationship because the other options just don't seem as good.

 

The problem is, I know who's going to lose the most here, and who's heart will be broken.

 

rlogan: I really like how you explained the tattoo. I agree 100%. This reminds me of the few dad's or mom's that I know of who tattoo their kids' names on themselves. It's almost always a dad or mom who doesn't even see their kids, or see them rarely. The dads and moms that are actually a part of their kids' lives, usually don't have to tattoo their kids' names on themselves to prove it.

 

Kathryn: I really liked your post. Thanks.

 

 


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-07-10 00:32:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

Update: My friend came over last night to visit again. While he was here, his fiancée went to the CFO for the last time and received her sticker/stamp in her passport. I saw a picture of it. She is now good to go. He will be buying the plane ticket today and she should be here by Friday.

 

I talked to my friend about the links between this post and his profile page. He is concerned she will read this post if she ever finds his account. That would not be good.

 

Get this; he told me that his fiancée no longer wants a second wedding in the Philippines. (with the 1st wedding being just at the court house) Instead, she wants a second wedding in Vegas, a big one. Why am I not surprised.

 

My friend has not been reading everyone's posts. He doesn't want to hear any more. I did tell him about some of the comments though. I also mentioned that his story is so outrageous, that people think I'm a troll. He doesn't care. I told him people don't believe about the tattoo she got with his last name on her arm. He laughed and said he doesn't understand why she would have done that either.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-07-07 08:28:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

She can always enter the US, buy her own ticket.

 

He is not going to listen, just a macabre show.

There is no way she can get money for her own ticket.

 

If he reports the girl and withdraws the petition, can she still use her visa?


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-07-04 17:18:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

My friend messaged me. He still has not talked to his fiancée. That's 3 days now. She did send him one message saying she was at CFO and she turned in her cenomar. The message said she has to go back to CFO again on Monday to get sticker.

 

How could that be? Don't they give the sticker the same day? Why would they need her to come back again?

 

I'm trying to convince my friend to not send more money for her travel to CFO. He is concerned that she won't be able to get sticker if he doesn't send more travel money. I told him she will find a way. She should have been saving the money he already sent instead of eating fast food with her friends, which I'm sure she fully paying for. How could he send more money if she won't even talk to him.

 

It's like talking to a brick wall. He just wants to finish this no matter what.

 

I'm trying to convince him to at least wait another month before buying the plane ticket, and to send no money. Set guidelines, and if she can't follow them and act like a fiancée should, then leave her there to be broke. I don't think he will listen. He already knows she can't behave.

 

I think I forgot to tell people about the tattoo this girl got a few months ago. She had my friend's last name tattooed on the side of her arm; about 3 inches long. Wouldn't it be funny if he left this girl there and she had to deal with explaining that tattoo to her next bf?

 

My feeling is that if he left her there, she will attempt suicide again. She already has scars on her wrists from this. She told my friend they were from when her parents were fighting, she had a hard time dealing with it. Friends of hers have told my friend that the scars are from when her last foreign bf left her.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-07-04 17:03:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

http://www.census.go...12-results-2012

 

He said she's poor.   The above data shows the poorest decile families in the Philippines earn 6,000 pesos a month.

 

So 14,000 pesos for a birthday party is enough to support a poor family of five for ten weeks.  Or one person for a whole year.  

Hello rlogan. I remember you from a few years ago. I always respected your posts. It's nice to see you still around.

 

You are correct about how outrageous the money for her birthday was. I believe that is what started my post here. I told my friend it was way too much, and that I would post to see what others had to say. That was not the beginning of this drama story, but it was the beginning of when my wife and I were sure she was using my friend.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-07-03 12:33:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

Sorry for not posting lately. My wife and family and I are in Las Vegas for vacation. I'm still here having fun, so I won't post much until I get home.

 

Troll? Me? No. As someone said, I'm a member since 2010. No reason to be trolling. I only wish this story was not true for my friend's sake. Yes. Some people are really that crazy in love, or so they think.

 

We've met her brother. He is a transvestite, dressing as a girl. The last time they got in a bad fight, he/she later tried to commit suicide by swallowing draino (drain cleaner). My friend had to help pay for some of the medical bills. We saw him/her on Skype a month or so ago. He/she does not look good, as you can expect. I just can't see how he could hurt her again.

 

Maybe people are right. The brother didn't beat her up. Maybe is was the bf.

 

So, where were we when I last posted? Oh ya, I was wondering how the night might end after she was angry he was at my house. Well, that night ended with her un-friending my friend on FB. This is probably the 10th time now. No problem though. They were friends again the next day, and everything was good again. But of course they made up. How else will she get more money?

 

I talked to my friend very briefly yesterday. Until then, my wife and I were ignoring all of his messages to us because we wanted to enjoy our vacation. When I spoke to him briefly, he said she is still waiting for the cenomar, and should be receiving it that night. He sent her more money for a cell phone load so she can call the CFO to schedule a time to bring in the cenomar.

 

This morning was the first time I connected to the internet since I got to Vegas. First thing I see on FB is my friend saying how angry he is. So I messaged him to ask why. He says he has not heard from her for two days again. He knows she's online because he can see, but she won't return his messages.


Edited by James and Cynthia, 03 July 2014 - 12:24 PM.

James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-07-03 12:22:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

My friend went home now. He has work tomorrow very early.

 

They are fighting. I guess he already sent money yesterday for her to fix the laptop after being thrown. She fixed it and bought a new changer. He knew how much the repairs were going to be, but not the charger. He asked her how much the charger was. She wont tell him. She is asking why he wants to know and refuses to talk to him while he is at my house.

 

She says I am telling my friend stuff, that's why she wants him to go home. (She is correct, I am telling him stuff) She told him that he should marry his friends instead of her. (Here come the threats)

 

Before my friend left, I told him to not send any more money. If the computer volume is not working, let it be someone else's problem. Not his.

 

I tried to explain to him that a proper girl would have never asked for more money to fix the laptop. She would have been so ashamed that it was broke that she would have never expected him to pay to fix it. Why is she so concerned about having this laptop to contact her friends and family? Why is she not more concerned about contacting my friend or coming here to marry him?

 

It's like talking to a brick wall. My wife is angry at him now. She cursed him for being so stupid.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-06-29 21:53:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

My friend is here visiting again. I told him again about this post and how it is still going and that I am still posting his story. He is not interested in reading it. His blinders are fully on.

 

There's been another problem. She got into another really big fight with her brother. Scratches and bruises all over. She wants to move into an apartment for the next two weeks so she doesn't have to live with her brother any more. My friend said no.

 

Also, during the fight, her brother threw the laptop and broke it. It's going to take at least $100 US to fix it. My friend already sent the money. How else will she be able to keep in contact with her friends and family when she gets here? That's what he tells me when I ask him why he would send more money.

 

Now, she is telling him there is more wrong with the computer. The volume is not working. It will cost more. He is telling her no. She wants him to go home because she feels she can't talk to him very well when he is at my house.

 

Where will this go before the night is over?


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-06-29 21:19:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

 

Once she is here all bets are off.  I know of a couple of Pinay that have left there Husband after a few months and managed to stay

 

I wonder if she will even make it to being married. This is the US. We deport no one. She certainly doesn't have to make it through AOS to stay. I think for her, being here illegally is still better than being home with no money and no job.

 

I should take a pole on how long people think she will stay here before running to California to live with her aunt.


Edited by James and Cynthia, 27 June 2014 - 09:56 PM.

James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-06-27 21:55:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

Well, first let's say this: Anyone who calls their fiancée his "future ex-wife", gets what he deserves. I didn't make up that name for her, he did. He knows how I feel about marrying someone that you call talk like that about. I've warned him. He's read most of the comments here. However, I think now he's choosing to no longer read here because the blinders make it easier to continue moving forward.

 

My friend is 30 years old, or is it 31 now? She's his only girl. He's been waiting for years for this, and over a year just for her. He's in a hole he can't get out of because he simply doesn't want to wait again. He wants to see this through, regardless of the results.

 

Sure, he can get another Filipino, but then he has to wait a whole year again, and he has to spend the cost to go see her. Remember, he has very low income. The only reason he went to the Philippines in the first place is because I bought his ticket.

 

He plans on waiting until almost the third month to marry her, and then wait on the AOS. She probably thinks that she is free and clear after marriage, and then he'll see how she behaves.

 

She wants kids right away. He doesn't, in fear of what will happen. He bought a Cosco size box of condoms for her arrival. I told him to lock those up in the safe and to keep no pins in the house.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-06-27 21:18:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

Well, since everyone is asking, here's an update:

 

She says she did not have the CeNOM because she says the consulate put it in the sealed envelope. This is why the CFO is asking her to get another for them to see. She said they are also asking for my friend to give proof that he is not married.

 

Hmmm. I believe there is no such thing as a CeNOM in the US, and I don't remember them ever asking my wife for something like that about me. I told him to have her just show his tax transcripts which say he filed single. Who knows if that will work or not?

 

As for the CeNOM, apparently she wasn't able to get one this week, so she missed her CFO appointment on Friday to bring it in. She says she tried to get one, but she can't get it until Tuesday. After that, I think she'll have to make another appointment with the CFO. This has added at least another week now, and maybe more.

 

Hmmm. This is funny. Every Filipino I've talked to says its very easy to get a CeNOM, and you only have to wait in line to get it that same day. For her, it takes a week.

 

BTW: My friend doesn't not plan on sending her money for the plane ticket. He will buy it himself. He says if she misses the plane, he will exchange the ticket for another and go on vacation.

 

Yesterday, my friend came over to visit. He said he hadn't talked to his future ex-wife for over two days. She just hasn't been online and hasn't answered his messages. Including his message to her about their 1-year anniversary. Yep. 1 year now. And she was no where to be found.

 

While my friend was with us, she finally called, but we were in the car. She immediate asked who he was with, because she heard my wife in the car. No big deal that she'd been off the map for two days. When he talked to her at my house later, she was too busy playing cards with her friends, that she didn't even talk to him.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-06-27 20:32:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

I find it hard to believe they would turn someone away for being only an hour early. What's the point of making an appointment if you have to be there so early?

 

She passed the CFO interview but needs to bring back a new Certificate of No Marriage on Friday to get her sticker. I'm not sure why they didn't accept her first one. Maybe it was too old since it's more than 6 months old. My friend hasn't talked to her yet and has only received her message about the request for a new certificate.

 

This will push her arrival out another week. Due to the new job my friend has, he only has Friday's off, so he doesn't want her to come on any other day.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-06-23 20:19:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

Did she need to be sent more money to travel to the new appointment?

I was wondering the same thing. She always insists on riding a taxi because public transportation takes too long. This certainly costs more. I wonder if she even attempted to go to the first appointment. Even if she did, she delayed her arrival in the US by at least a week because of a silly half-hour of her time. Her appointment was at 2pm. She only needed to be there by 12:30pm. She arrived at 1pm and was too late. Who can't make it to an appointment that isn't until after noon-time? She was probably up too late partying with her friends the night before.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-06-23 18:14:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

Update:

 

We're all still waiting for her arrival. She missed her CFO interview because she was late. Well, not exactly late, but apparently only 1 hour early when she was supposed to be there 1.5 hours early. This is what she says. I've never heard of being too late for an appointment even if you show up 1 hour early (unless you're talking about a plane flight). I guess they are pretty serious when they suggest people show up 1.5 hours early. I also guess she's not too serious herself for not showing up even earlier.

 

If it was my wife, she would  have been there 3 hours early, and she would have been crying if she missed the appointment. Not this girl. She seemed perfectly content at missing her appointment. She didn't even bother scheduling another one that day. Instead, she waited for my friend to schedule another one online for her. When he was trying to talk to her about it and give her the new appointment sheet, he had a hard time breaking her attention away from her friends and the tong-its she was playing.

 

This cost them another week. Her new appointment was last night (US time), Monday (PH time). I haven't heard if she made it on time or passed yet.

 

 


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-06-23 16:06:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

She will be leaving the small netbook that he bought and sent her in the Philippines for her family to use. He will continue to pay for the internet WiFi there. He will probably buy her an iPhone shortly after arriving and she'll have access to his iPad and home WiFi while he is at work.

 

Good news. My friend started a new job that pays about 50% more. It's a temp job for at least a month, but he's hoping to stay full time. This will certainly help, as long as it works out.

 

BTW: I still use a dumb phone too.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-06-09 23:25:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

Update: She passed her interview on Monday. She will probably be here in less than two weeks. I wish them the best, and sincerely hope things work out. The odds are stacked, but since he is my friend, I'll do my best to support his relationship in hopes of success for his sake.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-06-06 19:39:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

My friend just texted me. She's trying to make up to him now. He's trying to justify her behavior again.

 

She says her post about him was only a joke. She copied it from some site. I'm trying to convince him that it doesn't matter if she copied it or if she made it up her self, it was still a post about him, her attitude, and a perfect reason to drop her butt now. I don't think he is going to listen to me.

 

I think she might be crying to him and playing the sorry game. "I'm so sorry. I was only joking. Why do you take things so seriously?" I can only imagine her excuses. She needs to work quickly before her bills are due. I know my friend. I'm sure he'll send more money by tomorrow.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-05-20 21:48:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

 

Does 20K even meet the required income to bring her here ? Been a while I forgot 

 

If he is lonely etc. There are lots of good women there. Move on to another

$20k just barely meets the requirements, however, it's not over yet, so maybe she will be denied for this.

 

I'm hoping it is over now and she misses her interview. He's refusing to talk to her right now. She's been messaging him, but I believe most of it is bad. She's telling him to delete his engaged status and her pictures. I know she's bluffing though. She will never stop until he does. He has to be the one to call it quits. She'll just keep doing whatever she needs to in order to get more money.

 

In about 2 days, her internet bill is due. If he doesn't send her money, she'll be cut off and it will be easier for him to forget her.


scammer or not, why would you want to marry a girl with such foul behavior? what kind of marriage will this create when there is clearly no respect.

I have told him this many times. She will never respect him. He thinks she'll grow out of it.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-05-20 20:57:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

James,

 

is your friend still reading the posts on here? I know earlier on in the thread u mentioned he had read a few comments.

 

I hope he sees sense soon :( 

I told him today that I posted again about his issue. He said he's not surprised people are commenting. I'm sure he'll take a look here within the next day or so.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-05-20 20:44:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

James,

At this point, the train is full speed ahead and there's no stopping it.  You just need to be there for him when it fall apart.  Not if it falls apart, but when it falls apart. 

 

How much in debt is he because of her?  Surely $400/week isn't enough to support her, he must be borrowing.  I hope he doesn't expect her to work to pay it off?  She's just going to keep spending until everything is gone and all credit is used up and it's bankruptcy time.  Have him order her a credit card before she arrives, as she will need new clothes and things once she arrives. This guy is setting himself up for a catastrophic financial fall.

Yep, he might go broke, and will certainly use all his saved money. Hopefully he'll be smart enough to not use credit cards. At the least, she'll leave him as soon as the money runs out and she finds someone else with more.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-05-20 20:42:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

 

Not to be too blunt, but are you sure this story is real ? I don't see how anyone can be that slow or desperate. 20K a year?  No way he is sending her that kind of money and going over there on 20K per year, unless he has big savings.

 

On the off chance all this is true, which I have doubts. Lots of good women in the PI. In fact I know several that are good as gold. Why is he doing this . 

I assure you this is real. Yes, $20k is not much. He currently lives with his dad and has been working to save money and to get a better job so he can move out. His bills are very small and I paid for his trip to the Philippines since he was my best man for a second wedding. He is very money wise, except when it comes to this girl, and has always been able to save. Usually he has a few $k in the bank. He's been trying to save as much as possible for when his fiancée gets here, but she's doing a pretty good job at draining his account. He no longer has money to do the things he used to, like hunting and playing with his outdoor toys. When, and if his fiancée gets here, she will certainly make him broke.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-05-20 20:31:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

The funny thing is, he just sent her a balikbayan box that she just received two weeks ago. It was huge, full of food and gifts. She still has lots of the canned foods left, along with many other things. She's not starving.

 

My friend was at my house, talking to his fiancée while visiting with me for the weekend. While he talked to her, I could see her eating at her house that was full of people. Everyone was eating. They were not without food. She didn't even tell my friend she wanted money for food. She only said she needed money to go to the doctor for a checkup. He only told her to wait it out and he would send money in a couple days for her rent, food, and bills. They weren't even fighting and he had no idea what she had said about him publicly on facebook.

 

The other day when my friend was visiting, he told me he was about 50% convinced his fiancée could be scamming him. He said he would wait at least 2.5 months to marry her when she gets here, just to be sure she is real. I've tried so many times now to explain to him how his odds are more like 95% scammer. There is no way his $20k a year will be enough to sustain her. She will leave him the moment she finds someone else with more money, better looks, and friends that still trust her. He doesn't believe me. He thinks it's too late to turn back now. What's another $1k or $2k to get her here and just find out for sure?


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-05-20 00:01:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

Here is an update on my story:

 

My friend is still with his fiancée and her interview is in about two weeks. Their relationship has been off an on, but he keeps taking her back after everything she does. Here's a few things that have happened:

1. He gave her money for her birthday party. She had a great time.

2. She wanted more money to go on a vacation with some friends that are boys. He agreed, like a fool, and sent more money for her to go.

3. She spent the money and didn't have money to get home. He sent her more again.

4. She wanted to go on another trip with more boys. He refused to pay. She sold stuff to go anyways.

5. She spent her money again and asked him to send more. He refused.

6. She broke up with him. He refused to talk to her for two days. She cried and cried.

7. He took her back and sent her money to get home.

8. Now she has fever, and monthly cycle, and want to go for a check up. She needs more money. He said she needs to wait.

9. Last night she posted this:

uo nalang ung i love you mo makakaen yan defutaka! kagigil ampota

i love you dito i love you jan i love you dun ! uo puro kau i love you ! kylangan din namin kumaen loko ano puro pa cute nlang hahaha

?#?REALTALKyanMEN?!

 

 

My wife says it means this, but it's hard to translate.

 

 

Your love doesn't feed me. F*** you. I'm so pissed. I love you here. I love you there. I love you whatever. Yes. You always say I love you. We really need to eat. Crazy? Not only to show off. Hahaha.

 

 

This is just the latest post she made about him. There has been others too.

 

I hope this will be the last straw for my friend. I'm still trying to convince him to dump her, but I don't know. Right now, he's refusing to talk to her for at least a couple days.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-05-19 21:02:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

James,

 

You said yesterday that your friend was reading everyone's responses here on VJ. What has his reaction, response and opinion been so far?

 

I have read through everyone's advise and was relieved that there are lots of responses from Philippian members who, more than any of us, can explain to your friend that his fiancées behavior is completely unacceptable.  

 

True, pure love, when two people completely adore, trust and idolize each other is the single most beautiful thing in the whole world to feel and experience. Trust, friendship, understanding, patience..... it all goes hand in hand. The relationship he has with his fiancée offers none of these things.

 

Please keep us posted. I hope your friend finds the strength to leave this destructive relationship before it emotionally (not to mention financially) destroys him.

I talked to my friend tonight. He has been reading. He is pretty depressed. I'm glad he is not mad at me. I've been honest to him about posting here and encouraging him to read. He doesn't want to post. He says I have been exaggerating, and I admitted to only posting the negative, but I don't think I've been exaggerating. The good parts are hard for me to see, only he is trapped by them.

 

He says he'll give her one more chance, only sending money for food and internet. If she breaks up, he'll wait for her to apologize. I know she won't end it, not now. She'll just have tantrums and then keep apologizing. Only he can end this.

 

Darren, I see your posts still haven't changed, even after the last couple of years. Let's not forget we are talking about an adult here. He makes his own choices. I have always been upfront to him about what I see and my concerns. I'll keep supporting him as a friend regardless of his decisions, the good ones and the bad ones.

 

I think everyone's posts here are helping. They may not work right away, but I think they sure to open the eyes. Thanks.


To OP, out of curiosity, which part of the K-1 process is your friend and fiancee now? I remember you mentioned that the fiancee had her medical. Is this at SLEC or was it just some random doctor check-up?

She passed her medical. The interview is paid for and schedule for two months out.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-04-08 00:15:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

And you said she never worked at a job? Maybe just not at an upright one...

Whenever he refuses to send more money, she says she has to leave. She has to go find more money somewhere. Hmmmm. Usually she comes back having borrowed money that he will pay unknowingly later.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-04-06 20:26:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

Could you not find him someone more suitable?

He found this one all on his own. Sitting at the bar in Puerto Galera singing by herself. He asked her to join our group all by himself, with a little encouragement of course.

 

There were two things about her that bothered me when we were in the Philippines. After getting back from Puerto Galera, we rented a car and took him to visit her in Manila. This was against my wife's dad's advice. He was worried it would be too dangerous to go there. We had been staying in Alabang with my wife's family, so I thought, "How bad can it be?". The girl said it was safe. When we got there, it was so scary. Oh, my gosh, it was bad, even across the street from the police station. We left as soon as we could. Two white guys, with only three short Filipinas with us, was not fun. She lied to us about how safe her neighborhood was.

 

She came back to Alabang with us. We did the usual, drinking brandy and red horse, playing tong its. She said she rarely played cards but knew how to play a little. However, when we saw her start drinking, shuffle those cards, and deal them out, it was obvious she was not a beginner. That was her second lie.

 

There have been many more lies since then.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-04-06 18:19:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

I am sure it hurts and he feels sad and scared.  But there is something out there for him, something that is real and meaningful, not something where he either sends money or gets temper tantrums.  

 

Since she has a facebook account that says she will marry her ex someday, I personally believe her plan is to come to the US, then dump the USC guy, and file for the old boyfriend.  Very very typical scam.

I agree with you. That is her plan.

 

She tells him the fake fb account with the "I will marry you." picture from a month ago is not hers. Yet, we are all blocked from that account just like the other fake fb account she admitted to him she had. So one is hers and one isn't, yet we are all blocked from them both.

 

Both account are hers. No one would make them up. They are more than 6 months old. If someone were to make them up, they would not have blocked us, because it would defeat the purpose, and their point would have been to get her in trouble, not wait 6 months to tell him about them.

 

She even told him months ago that she changed the password on the account and could no longer access it, that's why it was still there. She says some else hacked into it. They must be the one's posting on it now. This account has friends hidden. One like on the account points to another account with only one friend, the same account. They are both fake accounts.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-04-06 17:31:00
PhilippinesIs Friend's Fiancee Scamming Him? How to convince him?

Well, even a 30-year-old who has never had a gf should realize that what he has is not a girlfriend.  He is paying someone to send him lovey notes and kiss him.  She does not care about him, she wants his money and saw a desperate guy from miles away.  

 

Other typical scams:

Car crash before interview: need money!

Stolen passport before interview: need money and can't move just yet! More money!

 

Why is it that the whole family was content to not go to the dentist their whole lives, and then suddenly when this guy comes into their lives it is an emergency to get their teeth fixed?

 

Why don't you show him the "Effects" forum?  He could start here:  http://www.visajourn...while-pregnant/

 

I showed him that forum several months ago. He doesn't like to read much. But he is reading this post now, so maybe he'll click on the link.

 

He's pretty depressed right now and I understand how he feels. Most of us have been there many times and know how hard it is to let go. He needs to lean on his friends and family for support and do what he knows he has to do. I'll keep encouraging him, and I'll support him as a friend even if he can't give up yet.


James and CynthiaMalePhilippines2014-04-06 16:43:00
Philippinescalling PHILIPPINES FROM USA... what to use
I use PennyTalk. It is not a phone plan, but a long distance calling that you sign up for. I think it is $.99 a month and you add funds to your acct. If you set up the number you are calling as a favorite, you get a 20% discount. So for me, Canada is a penny a minute then i get an additional 20% off. I looked up Philippines and it says .13 for landline and .19 for mobile phones. I have a record of all the calls i make to him and how long the calls lasted that I can print off every month.
CarolAnn&EddyFemaleCanada2012-06-07 22:40:00
PhilippinesAnyone here from Oregon?
QUOTE (jhcruz18 @ May 2 2009, 07:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Chantel @ May 2 2009, 10:58 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (jhcruz18 @ May 1 2009, 07:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
hi everyone. We're not from oregon but we're from seattle. hehe my family and i are gonna drive down to portland this weekend to go and visit the grotto there.


wow, that would be nice, I didn't know about it till now....I would definitely write this down on my list good.gif


that's cool. we've been going down there since we were little kids with our parents. now that my husband has been here with me in the UNited Sates since last year, i wanna take him down there too. and plus we can go shopping there after we visit the grotto. woo hoo!


nice, this is a good chance to shop around in Portland, no tax included, enjoy your day good.gif
ChantelFemalePhilippines2009-05-02 09:59:00
PhilippinesAnyone here from Oregon?
QUOTE (jhcruz18 @ May 1 2009, 07:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
hi everyone. We're not from oregon but we're from seattle. hehe my family and i are gonna drive down to portland this weekend to go and visit the grotto there.


wow, that would be nice, I didn't know about it till now....I would definitely write this down on my list good.gif
ChantelFemalePhilippines2009-05-01 21:58:00
PhilippinesAnyone here from Oregon?
I am trying to continue this thread, I live in Salem, Oregon............
ChantelFemalePhilippines2009-05-01 21:18:00
PhilippinesK2 for AOS
thanks
ChantelFemalePhilippines2009-05-04 12:09:00
PhilippinesK2 for AOS
What are the needed vaccinations for AOS then?
ChantelFemalePhilippines2009-05-04 11:48:00