Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Aww...you're making me crave cookies. Where do you live? I want some of these delicious cookies I'm in a somewhat similar situation...with my pregnancy cravings, I ordered some Purdys Hedgehog chocolates! And as we all know, those are kind of pricey. So I ordered 2 boxes of 40 and I needed 2 day shipping because well, it's Texas...they melt. :/ They're almost ALL gone. My husband eats like 5 in one sitting... You need a 'pregnancy craving shelf' in the cupboard, where it's HANDS OFF for hubby. lol	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-06-04 15:07:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Okay I never said that I didn't like spending time with my husband. I do enjoy spending time with him, but I am able to spend time apart too. I don't NEED to be with him, and it won't KILL me if happens. I think the law is the law and people tend to pretend not to know it, that's what we're talking about. If it's against the law to come in with intent... then why not make it harder for people who do AOS. Sure you can make it okay, if it were legal, I wouldn't care so much. But I have watched people knowingly break the law because they don't feel like the law applies to them, nor do they want to spend time away from their significant others. The rest of us have... what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. To each is their own... that's why it is up for discussion and no one is saying it is right or wrong, but we all have our opinions on the subject. Yah, that's the thing that frustrates me. People are breaking the law and know it, and get away with it! Like 'oops, I stole this car... sorry officer, I didn't know! *flutter eyelashes*'.. 'well ok I'll let ya off with a warning'. That wouldn't happen! Unfortunately, the law is such that maybe they're not breaking the law because there's that silly grey area re: intent. Man, the immigration system here needs a complete overhaul really. I'd also campaign for anyone who's in my situation to be able to freaken WORK damnit.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-06-03 17:14:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	hah... I've been here 5 months, on the dot today actually (well POE'd 5 months ago... +5 days of driving to actually get here)... I STILL want to go home, but as I've vented recently, our situation is unique and craptastic, and I'm sure I'd think differently if things weren't how they are for us. I don't know how I feel about AOS. In someways I feel like trailmix, and think they should allow it and make it easier, and completely get rid of the K-1 actually. In others, I feel they should not allow AOS at ALL if you just crossed and married on a 'whim'. Partially that's what makes it so hard to be apart in the first part of the process. Knowing that others AREN'T apart (because they're cheating the system) though they SHOULD be apart just like most of us had to be. Ultimately though, the system is NOT fair. So one way or the other it needs to be changed so that there are no ways for people to cheat the system and make it harder on those who are trying to do it right. Of course, I think it should be changed so everyone can be happy, but that will never happen. I have an old high school friend who I've recently reconnected with. She moved to the US and got married (no visa), and attempted AOS. I'm not sure what happened after that... I don't know if she ended up getting her green card. Now she's decided to move back to Canada, and he visited her frequently and *shock!* (not) was turned away at the border on one of his visits. So now she's talking about just wanting to move back to the U.S. Well I'm sorry sister, but it's not that easy to just turn around and come back. They're royally screwing up their case on BOTH sides of the border, and frankly, I don't feel sorry for them. They got a lawyer (*point* *laugh*) and aren't listening to my insistence on doing their own research and checking out this website, and roadtocanada to talk to people who have actually been through the system, and KNOW what we're talking about. They're seriously going to be screwed. OR, they're going to cheat the system. Either way, it pisses me off.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-06-03 17:04:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Fat cow!?! OMG, that's horrible. Who SAYS that?!?!	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-06-02 15:26:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Thank you ladies.. *hug* It's good to hear that I am not the only one thinking this way. Sometimes I just feel like a ######, and like I'm being really unreasonable, but I know I'm not! It's not a lot to expect what I'm expecting (which is full effort), but I know he's getting discouraged. On the plus side, to make me feel better I ask him to do more household chores. He usually obliges. In angry moments sometimes I remind him of all I gave up for him, but then he reminds me that he also gave up everything to move here (2 years before I moved here from London, HE moved here from London, go figure)... but then I remind him he did it for himself, not someone else so it's different. He gets it. I just hate that it has to lead to an arguement before he gets it. Ah well. Today doesn't seem to be as bad as yesterday. Sometimes I just miss my mommy though.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-06-01 16:15:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Well it will be funny when you get your EAD or green card (whichever comes first) and you're able to land a job in your first month of looking because you obviously know what you're doing. I mean that will speak volumes! haha yeah.. funny, but sad. I really wanted some time to myself for these past few months, to be able to enjoy getting to know the area, and accomplishing some things I wanted to do myself. It's not been that way though. I really want to start getting EI at least! That'll be better than nothing. I HATE that we can't be getting EI right now. sigh! (side note... he's awake and out of bed now... lol We got a check today so I sent him to the bank to get laundry money) Wow, I'm really angry today. I should stop venting. umm... sunshine... rainbows... puppies and kittens... unicorns... ok there, I feel better.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-06-01 14:53:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	I wish he came on VJ sometimes and could see people making the same suggestions that I do. I sometimes think he doesn't believe or trust me or who-knows-what when I make suggestions to him. But when he hears it from other people then he realizes that I'm not actually full of #######. I laugh when his dad makes suggestions to him re: job hunting because usually they're things I've been saying for over a month and he hasn't listened.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-06-01 14:38:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Well it's mostly because you don't want to hire someone who may leave fast if they found something else. You also don't want to hire someone who will get bored. I have two different resumes made up that I use when looking for a job. One highlights my administrative work and one highlights my work in hospitality. I use whichever one suits the job description to conform to what they want. Maybe your husband can do something like that to eliminate the under/over qualified labels? Shipping/receiving can be tough in these times. It really depends on the company but many are downsizing or closing down. I'm done making suggestions for his resume. I think I mentioned he didn't even have his education on there before? He also doesn't always include a cover letter if he applies online, and I had to bug him repeatedly to get one done properly (months ago I showed him how to make one, and helped him write it, but he completely changed it... poorly). I've also given him a binder full of info on job hunting, and he doesn't really reference it, and I make suggestions and he doesn't listen.. doesn't want to hear it.. doesn't take it as suggestions, and just takes it as nagging. So, yeah.. I'm done. It's a good idea to have 2 resumes and adjust accordingly, but I'll just do that myself when I start my own job hunting again. Sorry if I sound so angry/bitter, but I truly am. It doesn't help that it's 12:30pm and he's still in bed. I'm not going to wake him up. Last time this happened and I tried to wake him up I had to try THREE TIMES to get him out of bed and I got so furious and fed up that I threw pillows and screamed at him. It was pretty ugly... I laugh because it's funny, but really I want to die. On the plus side, I think the economy is looking up a little. I've heard stories of places starting to expand again. It's a slow process though, so it probably won't actually seem that way for a while.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-06-01 14:35:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	^^ Hope you get your EAD soon Ashen and that your husband finds something soon. What line of work is he in if you don't mind me asking? Is it a tough market? Also our drain was like that too, did you try plunging it with a toilet plunger? Or, can you call your super to come and snake it? We had out super come last weekend with the snake and i wasn't home but apparently there was a lot of gunk in it and the snake cleared it all out. Shouldn't cost you anything, most supers would rather you call them to snake it out then to use draino, which can be damaging. Thanks Sapphire. Yeah, I really don't want to use drain-o if I don't have to. The plunger thing is a good idea. I think we'll try that. Part of the problem is also that the drain doesn't have an actual plug... it just has some lever that you pull that stops the flow. I think the lack of plug allows a lot of stuff, i.e. my long hair, to get down the drain. lol I'll try the plunger and if that doesn't work we'll let the landlord know. They've already had to send someone in twice to fix our garbage disposal. And, my husband's not in any particular line of work, in terms of what he's looking for at least. He's only really had two jobs... one was a manager at a health food store for several years, and another was a warehouse manager doing shipping/receiving. I can't see it being a tough market, but I think what's happening is that he's underqualified for a lot of the managerial positions, and overqualified for entry positions. A health food store actually told him they don't want to hire him in just a clerk's job, but they didn't have any manager positions available. Do people not understand the 'I'll take anything' mentality?	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-06-01 14:10:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Yeah, I was kinda pissed. We ended up sitting around the apartment doing nothing all day, and not talking to each other for several hours, which is pretty fun in a 1 bdrm apt.. haha! And yeah, if he was full-out hardcore with the job hunting effort I'd cut some slack, but donkey punch is the way to go. We're nearing 5 jobless months now.... I think it's also frustrating because it's like I'm taking things one month at a time, not one day. So another month ended yesterday and we were no further along than we were last month (with him OR with my own AOS/EAD). Sigh. So that was weighing on me. On the plus side, he FINALLY went to a job placement agency last Friday, after applying online and they called him in. I've been bugging him for a month at least to go in there in person (aka, don't do things the lazy way). He didn't go on his own accord, but at least their phone call got the ball rolling. They sent his resume on to some place that was hiring so hopefully this week or next week he'll get an interview. Venting on that though, they didn't explain on Friday when they called him what exactly was going on, so I thought THAT was going to be the job interview, but it was just getting set up in their system. So that was a bit of a disappointment. Oh well. They should be able to help him find something... I hope. As for the new vent of the day, there is always SO MUCH LOUD work going on outside our apartment every freaken day. FOR HOURS. It's been going on for almost 3 hours this morning. Also, our bathtub is clogged up and doesn't drain properly so whenever I have a shower I end up standing ankle deep in water... the tap doesn't turn properly either so I literally have to punch it as hard as I can to change the temperature if it's too hot or cold... and that hurts.... and Saturday morning we woke up without water unexpectedly because they had to fix a water main break in a nearby system. It's been good times here lately.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-06-01 13:48:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	we were supposed to be spending the day watching movies.. but so far we have only watched 2 and during the first one the hubster was on his computer the whole time .....grrrr Better than our day at least. We were supposed to spend it driving to a nearby town to do some cheap memorial day shopping until the hubby told me last minute (I mean LAST MINUTE, we were almost ready to go out the door) that to do this shopping (and by shopping I mean like spending $50 max, on a few cheap shirts and a book maybe, with a coupon I had) we'd have to go into overdraft on the bank account because we had nothing. We didn't even have money to do laundry, or get gas in the car. so yeah, I say F-you to today.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-06-01 04:50:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	I'd still try to return them. They'll be able to reattach the tags. Especially if you're going to exchange them for ones in your size (which you were thinking of doing, right?). If they're smart, and if you also go and get the size you want, they'll be able to see that they do indeed sell those, and you aren't trying to return something with different tags. I have returned things with the tags unattached and haven't had any problems. As for the washing, I don't think it's an issue. It's not like a customer will go in and see them and say 'gasp! these have been washed!' and not buy them. lol That's if they can even tell they're washed.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-05-26 15:07:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	grr so this vent is towards me ..lol so the other day I was at the store because I wanted to buy some capris... so I tried on a pair and they fit great so I just grabbed those and another pair in the same style and size, just a different colour and possibly a different fabric....I took them home and washed them and today I tried on the pair I didn't try on in the store and they are too big ... grrr now I am kicking myself because I didn't try them on.. and I can't return them because all the tags are off and I have already washed them... grrr... I'd try to return them anyways! If you still have the receipt, and if you have the tags, even if they're not attached, I don't see why it'd be a problem.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-05-24 16:14:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Ashen, you can stream netflix movies on your computer too... I watched most of the movies I wanted to watch on my notebook Yeah I know. My husband does this a lot. I don't, mostly because when I'm on my computer there's about 50 other things to do instead of watching movies. lol I just like to just sit down and leave everything else away and watch a movie on TV. Our TV is an old (like, with lines running through it) hand me down. Ah well. Better than nothing!	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-05-22 16:43:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	No, no Wii And thanks for understanding everyone. lol I felt bad after I posted that and was like 'srsly, I'm whining about movies now?' LOL! But that made me feel better. I love watching movies!! But hate watching bad movies Lately a lot of the movies we've been getting from the queue are his choices. Which is fine, because until now they were ones we could both watch... but still... it's my turn! *stomps feet* lol	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-05-21 16:24:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	so.... i'm a little irritated. My husband and I joined netflix about a month or two ago... well, he thought it'd be funny to throw another movie (WHICH I HATE, and have NO interest in watching) into our queue at the last minute without telling me, so now they're sending us this STUPID freaken movie instead of the one I actually scheduled to watch next (I actually worked really hard on organizing our queue in order to make it fair for both of us)... so now, with the weekend, I'll probably have to wait until Wednesday or Thursday to get a movie we can BOTH watch. I'm just pissed. This is the only way I get to see movies I haven't seen. It just seems really selfish to me. He KNOWS I would NOT want to watch that movie. Sorry, I know that's a lame thing to complain about, but he's already irritating me enough lately, due to the other things I've vented about.. lol BLAH Edited by ashenflowers, 21 May 2010 - 02:48 PM.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-05-21 14:46:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	I've always gotten my dogs from shelters. I don't know how many times myself, or someone in my family has gone to get one dog, and felt sorry for another dog because he was on his last day before euthenasia and took a second one home too. Mel had a little chihuahua that she brought down here and about 9 months ago, we decided to adopt another one. We went to a dog faire at a park and found one. It was actually from the county shelter that we adopted our dog peanut. She was very subdued and friendly and the shelter workers asured us that she was potty trained and 16-18 months old and in good health. So two days after we get her, we notice a cough and take her to the vet. Of course, it was kennel cough, which is common to shelters. Not only that, we discovered that she was a puppy, maybe 3-4 months old, and even worse, she was not even close to potty trained. We racked up about $350 in vet bills between her illness, and our other dog who got the cough from her. I was absolutely livid and called the county shelter to ask them why their personnel lied about every aspect of the dog. They are trained in this field and should have known better. Their only response was "well you can return the dog for a refund". ####### is that? It's a dog, a life, you don't throw it away because it's not exactly what you thought it was going to be. I'm still very very angry at the shelters, and other shelters. At this point, I would NOT go back to a shelter to get a dog. Wow, I am shocked by this. I would definitely not paint all shelters with this brush though. I know many shelters would be appalled if one of their volunteers responded to your questions like that. Many no-kill shelters (which are the only ones I support) actually rescue dogs from the kill shelters that euthanize due to space issues. A lot of them would actually cover vet bills for the first couple of weeks too. They should have known that she had kennel cough. Did they provide you with a medical history of the dog when you adopted her? At 3-4 months was she even spayed? I mean, it's one thing for a shelter to get a dog randomly and not know the history of the dog, but most (all) reputable shelters will get the dog checked out, and most information about the dog, including age, will come from a vet, not just a shelter's guesstimate. It's one thing to not know a dog's exact breed/s, or not know if a dog is 2 yrs old or 3 yrs old, but the difference between 3-4 months and 16-18 months, I would think, is significant enough to know. I mean, mistakes happen, but the story you tell is just embarrassing for that shelter. Especially if they ALSO didn't know she wasn't potty trained. Geez. I volunteer at a dog shelter here actually, and almost want to tell the folks there about that story...	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-05-20 13:43:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Go to a shelter, they need homes more than the store dogs do D: Here here! I literally gasped when I read 'puppies in a store'... UGH. Shelter, Shelter, Shelter. PLEASE! You can even search for breed-specific shelters in your area.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-05-20 01:30:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	That sucks Rhiann It's useless to get an approval if you have no proof. You can't move forward with that at all! I hope it comes soon for you.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-05-19 01:18:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	I understand what you mean about just 1/2 wanting to look for a job. I know what it's like to have to job hunt, as I've said I've done it before many times... It's not easy, but after 4+ months it's time to stop pouting and man up and get on with it. The problem with us though is that we have no income. My husband is on unemployment (which runs out in August), and his dad has been paying our rent. We literally can't afford for him to be this way about it. We had to cut costs out of our already 1/2 a$$ed wedding... had to absolutely cancel any plans for a Canadian wedding... I can't go home to visit even if I wanted to... we had to spend money that I got from my tax return which I was saving for my birthday trip back home in October on bills/gas/groceries... and so on... sigh. He does apply for jobs a few times a week, but even when he's applying he's not really putting a full effort behind it to ensure he really makes him self employable. UGH... sorry, i need to stop ranting about this. I'm just so frustrated, and have no one to talk to... I really hope I get EAD soon too If nothing else then I can start getting EI. Sorry to hear about your receptionist, but on the plus side it makes you look better. lol	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-05-19 00:16:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Yah, I pretty much did my husband's resume and his cover letter for him too. I know I DID NOT say to leave out education. That's just effing STUPID. He also changed his cover letter to be very different from what I said to do as well. But that's another story... I know how to job search. I've done it many times in life, and have had actual training courses on it. HE has not. So I've told him what he should do, and given him many many suggestions, but he just doesn't put in the full effort like I think he should be. How am I supposed to help? There's not much we can do for housework to keep busy since we're just in a one bedroom apartment. I've told him the line that looking for a job is just as much work as the job itself, and that if you don't put in the effort people will realize that and he needs to show he's committed and needs to make himself stand out more. But by now he's just taken it all as me being a nag and he gets frustrated and doesn't want to hear it or deal with it. So then he gets all depressed, and stops trying, and all that good stuff, etc. It's pretty stupid. I'm not kidding when I say I'm considering moving back to Canada. I'm fed up with this place. My husband is locked into a lease until December though, so we can't do anything about it until then. The worst part is that before I moved I was really looking forward to him working and me being home alone for a while during the day. I haven't lived alone in years, and I know this wouldn't be the same as living alone, but I was really looking forward to alone time. I had all these plans in my head of things I wanted to accomplish, and now I can't really do them. It's just not the same. I can't just be like 'yeah i'm going out for a while and I don't want you to come with me'... ya know? If he was at work all day I could do whatever I want without worrying about him. We're stuck with each other in this little apartment 24/7. It's really horrible actually. I love my husband, but I SERIOUSLY hate this. That was a long rant, sorry. lol Thanks everyone for your responses... I'm getting really depressed about this entire situation. My friends back home have had a lot of events and parties lately and I'm missing out on everything, and birthdays, and mothers and father's day... It blows. We have NO friends here. None.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-05-18 21:58:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Wow... I would be extremely frustrated also ashen and I'm sorry to hear that things are this way. It sounds like he's sort of given up hope when it comes to finding a job. Well, sadly he's never actually looked for a job before, even though he's in his mid-30s. He's only had 2 jobs in life, and both were just dumb luck. He didn't actually really search for either one of them (one literally came knocking at his door). So, I can't blame him entirely, but I gave him a big binder full of job hunting tips that I got at a previous job when HR gave us job hunting tips (they said they were shutting us down and it was their way of helping us move on). And I've job searched a lot, and there are TONS of resources online too. There are no excuses! If I could just blame it on the economy that's one thing, but the 1/2 assed effort really annoys me. Anyway, yeah I really think it's a case of lost hope. I'm really losing hope too. He hasn't even tried going to any local employment agencies either! Well, he went to ONE, but they wouldn't help him unless he paid them, because it was more about training, but he never bothered to check any of the other ones (they're not all like that!). ARGH!	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-05-18 00:04:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Better than being unemployed!!! lol uhhh yeah. Nice segue to my rant. My husband STILL hasn't found a job... going on 4 and a 1/2 months now. I, of course, can't work either. I found out today that he's been sending resumes (mind you, not many anyways) without his education listed on them. He's a University graduate with a degree in English. He doesn't think that's important on a resume? ####### On top of that, a place he had an interview for a couple months back (but obviously didn't get hired) is apparently hiring again, so I told him to contact them. So he finally does after some nagging the past few days, and forgets to attach his resume anyways. UGH. Fine, people make mistakes, but he didn't even bother to send a follow up email with it attached. There goes that opportunity. This is seriously hopeless. No wonder he doesn't have a job yet. He's not even really trying. I just want to move back home and stop wasting time here.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-05-17 21:36:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	All the pregnant ladies I've known say they generally HATE when strangers come and touch their bellies. I know for me I'd want to karate chop their wrists right the eff out of there. ugh. Anyhoo... I came here to complain about the fact that I still have no AOS/EAD so can't work. And my husband STILL has no job. It's been 4 months now. But that's not even the complaint. The real complaint is that someone I don't even know, who's apparently a friend of my husband's mother from Canada, sent us a gift card from Sears for our wedding.... and my husband lost it. I don't even know ####### to do. It's $100, which to us is A LOT. I effing HATE gift cards. We've looked everywhere. We only got it 2 days ago, and it's already missing. They bought it in Canada, so I don't even know how they can get it refunded or anything. I'm pretty sure we're just out $100. Great. And the 2nd part of that rant is that people I don't even know, and have never met in my life have given us waaay more than our actual friends and family (who, except for an aunt and uncle of mine, ONE of our friends, and my parents, basically gave us nothing). Not that I'm selfish or anything and just want presents. But like.. really? I don't even know who these people are, and I've never met ANY of Dan's extended family... and they've even sent us stuff! And our own friends can't? Not even a card? Not even AN E-CARD?! yeeeah. Edited by ashenflowers, 14 May 2010 - 05:16 PM.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-05-14 17:15:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	What/Where is Outer Banks? lol Here's my vent... My husband got a traffic citation back in February (did I mention it then? I don't remember)... anyways, it was $280. Simply because he apparently 'rolled' a stop sign, and didn't come to a complete stop. I was in the car with him. Stupidest thing ever. He didn't deserve a ticket, and it was Valentine's Day, and needless to say, completely ruined the evening. Anyhoo... he (after some nagging) took it into the traffic court department and asked about getting the fee lowered because of our financial situation (aka, he's unemployed, and so am I)... well the ticket has a deadline on it of course, and he managed to get that extended by 30 days or something, which didn't make much difference because we BOTH still don't have a job, and they were supposed to make a decision on whether or not the fee would be decreased. Well, instead of checking in to it, and making an effort to try to talk to them about it, I found out he just paid it anyway. Without telling me. I found out standing in his parents house, when he got a piece of mail that went to their address (because he still hasn't properly updated his address with them either). I mean, I realize that it's a traffic citation, and he had to pay it, but he really should've put more effort in to trying to get the amount lowered. We can NOT afford to just throw away nearly $300 right now!! That's A LOT of money to us. AND HE DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME. That made it even worse. I'm really pissed at him for that. I don't just throw away money like that. Not like this, when we're struggling SO HARD right now. He didn't even try, and he didn't even tell me. It's actually a recurring theme I'm starting to notice. He doesn't try a lot of things, just to see if it will work out. You never know until you try, right? What's the harm in just TRYING. Even if you fail, at least you TRIED. He also doesn't tell me a lot of things that are really important. I'm kinda getting sick of it. /rant	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-04-22 01:21:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	I may be a bit naive here but ####### is a suicide girl????? It might be best that you remain naive on this one.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-04-13 14:04:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Krikit that drives me nuts. The same thing happened to me when I wrote a lengthy reply to a friend's msg on Facebook last week. It's NEVER the same the 2nd time around, cause I always forget what I said.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-04-12 14:43:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Also, I just wanted to add that I'm sorry if anything I said was somehow in violation of the VJ ToS. I do of course think immigration fraud is wrong (and really, when people commit immigration fraud it makes me angry, after all we have to go through to do it right!), it needs to be stopped, and no one should help anyone commit immigration fraud in any way. I was just answering my opinion of what I understood the situation to be.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-04-12 05:12:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Under what circumstances, where do you draw the line in the sand? If you had information about a murder but your Husband didn't want you to disclose it and it would cause a big rift, would you disclose it or not? If it was someone who stole a bicycle - disclose or not? Kind of interesting, I guess everyone has their own set of morals and principals that they have to follow. It all does depend on the situation really... and the reasons why the spouse would be upset about it (i.e. would it put the family in danger, and would we need to entire witness protection or something!). Murder is completely different! As it involves the safety and lives of others. I guess I don't really feel that immigration fraud directly hurts or endangers anyone else personally, except the parties immediately involved, and disclosing it doesn't really protect anyone. And yeah, it would depend on how she came across the information about the fraud (i.e. does she know them personally, is she helping them whether she means to or not, would she get in trouble by not disclosing the information, how extensive is the fraud (meaning, are they stealing money too or something like that) and so on). All those things make a difference on the decision, but I guess I basically draw the line at 'is NOT disclosing this information potentially going to cause pain (physical, mental and/or emotional whichever) or danger to anyone else... am I putting mine or anyone else's life or well being at risk by telling or not telling someone about this'? And of course 'can I prove anything', and what can I really do about this, to either prevent it, or stop it? The way I interpreted the situation was just that it was a simple scenario she came across and discovered someone was committing immigration fraud, and as a citizen felt obligated to report it. For whatever reason that is potentially causing a serious rift within her family. In that very simplistic version of the story, personally I probably would not report it. Trying to help that couple immigrate without committing fraud, and educating them or explaining to them how to do it PROPERLY and LEGALLY would, I think, be a better avenue to take. Then you're fulfilling your obligation to obey, support and defend the laws.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-04-12 04:13:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Wife and mother first. At least that's what it'd be with me anyways. Do you know the people who are committing the fraud personally? If not, then their situation shouldn't affect you. It's their business, and should not jeopardize your family. If you do know these people personally, then you need a long discussion with your husband about how much it's bothering you.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-04-11 19:31:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	That is so sweet! My husband's grandfather turns 90 this year, and I think I will steal what you guys did and buy him a manly tiara For my grandfather's recent milestone birthday (I don't remember which one, but I'm thinking 80? lol) my mom and her sisters made him wear a 'Birthday Boy' button.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-04-11 13:18:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Speaking of tiaras... we threw my mom a big birthday party last year for her 60th... we bought a tiara for her and she wore it all night. It was the cutest thing ever. LOL	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-04-11 03:16:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Oooo that's one thing I love about where I am. Inside, without AC, is SOOOO cool compared to outside. It's really weird. I think because it still gets really cool here at night. Sometimes I step outside and am shocked at how hot it is, because I really have no idea. lol (p.s. we have no AC. Almost no one here does. I hope it stays like this and I didn't just jinx myself. lol) Edited by ashenflowers, 08 April 2010 - 02:47 PM.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-04-08 14:47:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	My flaws? I laugh at everything, even serious situations, I can't help it. People say: "Oh you must be nervous!" No I do find strange things absolutely hilarious... sorry? I laughed at my grandpas funeral because the sniffling started to go to the beat of that "do wa diddy diddy" song, it could have very well been my imagination, and most certainly probably was. But when I busted out laughing so did the rest of my family, and I don't think they knew why they were laughing but damn it felt good to finally let that out at the time. aww... that's kinda sweet. I bet your grandpa would've thought that was pretty awesome.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-04-07 15:12:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	You could try your NOAs from the AOS's as well. I know for me they just need something that shows my name and proof of address.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-04-05 19:07:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	I think it's a pug Marilyn. Super cute Wyatt, you could volunteer at a local dog shelter! That's what I'm doing, to get my doggie fix when I need it. And Sprail: I meant to comment on this earlier... I had an ex boyfriend who had a similar father situation. His parents separated when he was really young, and his father's new wife wanted him to have nothing to do with his previous children. Both my ex and his brother grew to DESPISE their father because of this, which was really unfortunate. But I think it's because their mother was a little cuckoo and also never remarried or had another relationship, and she HATED talking about it, and they never had a fatherly figure in a positive way. I think Ethan will be ok, so long as like others have said, he is talked to in an honest and open way about the situation, and reminded of how much the people in his life do love him and want him around. Make him understand it's not HIS issue, or even his father's (though kinda)... it's because of the severe insecurities of his father's new girl (I was going to say 'woman' but she doesn't deserve the title)... If he needs to direct his emotions towards anyone, it should be her. As for her being pregnant with his baby... all I have to say about that is 'POINT... LAUGH!'... I had another ex who I found out years after dating him that he got his girlfriend pregnant... I laughed for days. All I could think was 'thank GOD that's not me'... LOL Ahhh... good times.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-04-03 23:17:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	I posted on my blog a few years ago, before Yvo and I got married, that we were eloping. Fooled a few people, but other picked out that the minister's name was going to be Lirpa Sloof. Fun for a little while, though. Lirpa Sloof... hahaha clever. When I was in public school (around middle school age I guess, grade 7-8 or something?) my "friends" at the time decided to "pretend" they weren't friends with me any more. Yeah, that sucked. Now we're REALLY not friends anymore.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-04-01 13:17:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	I hate April fools. I was just about to post a warning in the Off Topic thread that it was April Fool's tomorrow. haha I think my joke will be telling my friends I'm being deported. But that might be mean. And knowing my luck, I'll jinx myself and it'll end up true Edited by ashenflowers, 31 March 2010 - 11:23 PM.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-03-31 23:23:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	LOL Sam, and they couldn't have just told you that at the office? sigh.. I'm beginning to hate the DMV too and I haven't even tried to get my license yet.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-03-31 15:28:00
Canada	The Vent - Part Trois	Pfft... how did the Vent thread get on page 2? Are people happy today or something? What's that about? Anyways, here's my rant. We sent our AOS papers on Tuesday via Expresspost, and their guaranteed delivery date was yesterday by 3pm. However, the usps online tracking system finally updated and says it just got through the Chicago sorting facility last night at 2:22am, so they clearly won't receive it until today. I'm seriously irritated. It was NOT cheap to send that envelope the speedy way, so now we have to go through the trouble of demanding our money back since they suck. Plus, now we definitely won't get the NOA1 before my I-94 expires, which I was really hoping for. UGH.. (I know I'm getting a flood of ppl saying that doesn't matter, but I still wanted it ok! I WANTED IT! *stomps feet*) *edited for typo... dur..* Edited by ashenflowers, 26 March 2010 - 11:15 AM.	ashenflowers	Female	Canada	2010-03-26 11:14:00