biggish data

Prenups

What a topic and thread for discussion. It's good, and enlightening, to read everyone's thoughts on both sides of this argument. Natasha and I have discussed this and come to the decision that neither of us believe a prenup is desirable for or wanted by either of us. Although I'm firmly in the 'Kazan school of thought' on prenups, I can certainly understand the logic behind those who desire them. I agree with those here who have said it's a personal decision. Deciding who to marry, or to marry at all, or how best to go about finding the love of your life are all personal decisions too, so of course something like a prenup would also be a personal decision.

Slim- you're a riot! I may not always agree with you, but I usually enjoy hearing what you have to say!

Everyone - be well and best of luck to all.

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-09-25 18:15:00

Wow, I hadn't visited this thread (even though I started it) for a long time. Lots of good thoughts here, thanks everyone.

I agree with those who have said: If you're a man looking to 'save' someone, or if you're a woman looking only for a better life, you may find it but it probably won't last. Natasha looked for love for more than 5 years prior to finding me, and she had plenty of opportunities to grab onto coat tails if a better life is all she wanted.

We all get to the point in our lives (I hope) where we examine our lives and ourselves and decide what is important to use in a mate, and then we go out and find it. For me, I came to the realization that it was far more important that I find the right woman and not just a woman for right now.

Thanks again, everyone!

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-11-11 08:58:00

Russ - I did look at the Princeton course, which is to say I have located it, but I'm still working on code to download everything so I don't have to save each file individually. Thanks again!

Slim - I appreciate all of your comments, but I think I'll have to politely disagree with many of your assessments and conclusions. Nothing personal - I just don't see things the same way that you do!

Thanks again, everyone!

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-07-29 11:55:00

We have many activities planned to do together. During the school year, in addition to my regular full-time paying job, I also teach high school math. Natasha (and Vika) have expressed a desire to come to class with me and can amuse themselves on my laptop when class is too boring, and she also wishes to accompany me to my work. I have a very lax environment here so that is no problem. They are welcome to amuse themselves and hang out here all they like. Plenty of computers handy to keep them occupied, and watch movies on or whatever. Lunch together everyday! I like it! We will also learn the bus system together right away, and walk to the nearby stores together, so that she can have a degree of independence immediately.

Any other suggestions along this line would be greatly appreciated!

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-07-27 15:53:00

Natasha may take English classes (something like ESL) and she may not - she has taken classes before and she believes that simply being here and immersed in English (and with me as her guide) will be all she requires. We will play this by ear and see how it goes.

Just my two bits, but you ought to urge your fiancee to begin taking English lessons NOW, not after she arrives.

As a single mom, she's probably accustomed to doing things on her own and has a strong sense of independence. Unless she's experienced long stretches of life outside Russia away from her native language, then she has no idea how isolated she'll feel when she arrives here. She'll be dependent upon you for everything, and as odd as it sounds this will sometimes lead to resentment, no matter how good a partner and provider you are.

There will be big, big hurdles for you both when she arrives, believe me the more that you can remove now the easier her transition (and yours) will be!

Good luck

I appreciate your comments, groovlstk, and I have suggested to Natasha that she take some English classes now, and offered to pay for them of course, but she has resisted so far. She spent 6 weeks in the USA last year, and her experience was that she learned far more in those 6 weeks about speaking English than she had in the English class. She actually speaks English very well (although she believes that she does not) even if her vocabulary might still be somewhat limited. It's understanding English when it is spoken to her that she still struggles with.

She reads this thread so she will find all of the comments and she will weigh them against her own experiences, and then she will do what she thinks is best, of course!

Kevin

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-07-27 12:18:00

I hate to burst your bubble, but you're trying WAY TOO HARD to learn Russian. The fact of the matter is, you're trying to be fluent in her language so you can have a better relationship and understanding and all the selfless things people do for someone they love. That's great! But, reality is, once she's here, you're going to use Russian about a fifth of the time, and then less and less after that. The only time you're going to use it is when you talk about Russian stuff, practice Russian together, talk about her family or try to really understand something that you guys need to work out. The rest of the time, she's going to be forced to use English, and that's only going to get more and more frequent the longer she stays here. So, learn what you can, but you're never really going to "need" Russian the way you're setting yourself up to use it.
How true! My grandparents immigrated to the USA from Byelorussia and I have been around people speaking the Russian language since I was in diapers, but I never became fluent. I know a lot of Russian words (mostly nouns) and phrases that I have picked up from my grandparents, mom, aunts, and other sources, but living in America since birth I never really had any incentive to become fluent in the Russian language (or any other language except English).

My Russian wife was an English teacher in Belarus and she was already quite fluent in English before we even met and married, so I have never really had any incentive to further my proficiency in Russian (and my Russian proficiency is poor).

My wife berates me constantly that I should learn at least one new Russian word every week, but I can't even manage that. I learn what I learn and do what I can. I'm 51 years old and I tell her, "You can't teach an old dawg new tricks!" However, with the few Russian words I do know, I often throw them into my sentences when I speak to her in English. It's a new language...I call it Russlish or Englissian. Sadly, it is more English than Russian. It is English with a little Russian sprinkled in and I've been speaking it since I was a little kid talking to my Byelorussian grandparents.

My advice to KGSodie...learn the Cyrillic alphabet to the point that you can read Russian words. Learn as many nouns as you can and sprinkle them into your English sentences and as time goes on you may attain some sort of proficiency level in the Russian language. Don't beat yourself up over it. Do what you can do. However, living in America it is much more of a necessity for your wife to learn English than it is for you to learn Russian.

Thanks for the personal insights, peejay! Since Natasha and I chat online in Russian now (via software translation) I always try and pronounce everything she writes. Some of the letters least common letters I still have to look up and some of the letters affect the pronunciation of other letters in ways I don't always predict correctly, but I find it helps anyway. Natasha corrects me when I'm wrong.

I think maybe I have given the wrong impression about why I wish to learn Russian and become as fluent as I can be - it is not something I need to do, it is something I wish to do. Because we will live in the USA I agree that Natasha will learn and become fluent in English, and our trips together back to Russia will only be for 2 or 3 weeks every year (or two), but who knows what the future holds? Natasha is a proud Russian and has no intention of seeking US citizenship, and after I retire there is the possibility that we will move to Russia to live. She is also giving up everything she knows to come here and be with me - her family (especially her sister - they are very close), her friends, her COUNTRY, her entire way of life. You could argue that life in the USA is better but it is not something I would state categorically. Life in the USA is different than life in Russia, and I wouldn't go any further than that. I don't want to change my Natasha, I want our lives to be joined. Part of that joining, for me, is to learn to speak Natasha's native language.

Keep the stories coming, though, I enjoy reading them very much, from everyone!

Kevin

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-07-27 08:47:00

Once again I wish to thank everyone for their thoughts. I suspect the 'ideal' approach depends largely on the individual and is an amalgam of different portions of everything written here, by everyone!

Thanks for the definition of 'declension' - you saved me having to look it up. I'm not very far into Rosetta Stone yet, but have already noticed this about the Russian language. Rosetta Stone can be frustrating in that nothing is explained - you just look at pictures and written text and listen to spoken Russian and start figuring things out through trial and error, but the roots of the various forms of words have been relatively easy to spot so far.

My current nemesis is the word for 'bicycle'. My pronunciation of this word reminds me very much of Rob Schneider's attempted pronunciation of 'hippopotamus' in the movie 'Big Daddy'.

I honestly don't think I'm trying too hard to learn Russian though. It is important to me and when something is important to me I go after it with everything I have. That's how I found and won Natasha, after all. I may learn Russian from a 'fancy book larnin' perspective but at least I'll be able to communicate. Colloquialisms and vernacular will come later through normal conversation.

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-07-26 10:54:00

Hi Kevin

I am from Denmark and married to a USC.
And amazed about your interest of learning you fiancee's language to be able to communicate with her and famely.

When we waited for my K-1 visa to be approved I started to learn my husband a little bit danish.
Then I suddenly realized that maybe it was better that I first of all would study more English in order to emprove my skills before moving to USA and start my new life. So I took a course in Denmark.
It seems to me to be more importent that I have a good way to communicate with my husband and the americans and also to be more secure when the time comes to apply for a job.
First I thought that my tourist English was enough for me over here. But I can tell it is not.
So I started on another English course on our local library here in USA to learn more the american terms and how to behavior my English language when being with american people.

It is very importent that your fiancee is not feeling isolated and only dependent on you.
Even more importent it is good for her child to emprove the English too.
My son at 16 years old had less English in school in Denmark and now he is the person who have to graduate someday and are forced to study very much to even understand and answer the questions in his new school.

After we arrived here in USA we are now more relaxed to learn my husband our native language.
And actually easier for him now because he can read our bodylanguage sometimes and able to understand us anyway.

This is ofcause only my opinion, but I couldn't resist to tell you about our story about the language barrier there for sure will be not only now for you and her, but in the coming future too.
Don't wait or delay anything in hope about that it will be easier when she just arrive in your country.

Very much good luck to you with everything.

Anette

I completely agree with you - although I know she and Vika will spending a lot of their time with me after they first arrive, the last thing I want is for them to perceive that they are completely and totally reliant upon only me. Natasha is a pretty strong-willed woman, though, and is very active in the Russian bride web sites and forums, and is seeking out Russian women in the area that she can connect with.

Like you, Natasha wishes to learn English quickly because she desires strongly to work and be gainfully employed. If she's not learning quickly enough to suit her own goals, I'm sure she'll be very receptive to taking English language classes.

Thank you for your thoughts and experiences, and if anything else occurs to you, please don't hesitate to share it here. Knowledge is power, and I can use all that I can get.

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-07-25 12:13:00

Russian grammar is of critical importance to express anything beyond basic constructions. As Rosetta Stone does not teach grammar, it will greatly limit what you will be able to understand.

How are you studying the grammar? I highly recommend the Princeton course - http://www.princeton.edu/russian/

Try to use Russian handwritting if you can to work out the exercises.

Declensions in Russian are not intuitvie to English speakers, you really do need to learn them though. Far more important than vocabulary, which you will pick up anyway.

Taking university courses helped me more than anything else.

To be honest, I haven't considered what would be best to study after I complete the Rosetta Stone courses, other than to learn from Natasha through daily conversation, but I had thought about university classes. Omaha isn't that big of a town but the local college does have some classes in Russian. As far as grammar goes, I have no idea. Rosetta Stone touts that you will learn grammar 'naturally, as a child does' but I too am a little skeptical. Of course, my grammar in ENGLISH isn't all that great either!

For handwriting, I have discovered that it is very helpful if I write out the words as I learn and practice them with Rosetta Stone, even though I have no idea what the 'proper' way of forming the individual letters is.

As for declensions - I'll have to look this word up! I'm not even certain what you mean, but I will find out.

Thank you VERY MUCH for you ideas and for you comments, I sincerely appreciate them.

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-07-25 12:09:00

I've been poking around on this forum looking for posts related to personal experiences couples have had when neither is fluent in the native language of the other. I have found some posts, but decided to start a new thread anyway. I'm particularly interested in experiences anyone would like to share about after their fiance/fiancee arrives.

First, my own (limited) experiences so far:

When Natasha and I met online, I spoke no Russian at all and she spoke English at a very basic level. Understanding spoken English is a challenge for her though. She used a program called Magic Goody to translate my English chat text to Russian, and her Russian chat text to English. We talked several times this way before I knew she was using a software translator. Being a very quick typist, I quickly purchased and installed PROMT and we began chatting exclusively in Russian simply because there was less 'lag' in the conversation. This had a very pleasant side-effect I'll discuss later.

Software translation can be very frustrating initially, and Natasha and I had our fair share of misunderstandings, but we have learned how to choose our words and phrasing to maximize the likelihood that the intended meaning of our words survives translation by the software. It's not perfect, by any means, but it is a reasonable substitute (for now) to being able to speak directly in the language of the other. Web cameras are also a great help because so much can be communicated through expressions and body language to accentuate the words we type.

Before I traveled to Russia to meet Natasha in person, I began studying Russian using Pimsleur Conversational Russian audio CDs. I found this very frustrating, although I did learn some basics - yes, no, hello, goodbye, please, thank you, understand, I, you, not, etc. I apparently don't learn well using purely audio based methods. In total, I studied this way for about 4 weeks, maybe 4 times a week, then I went to Russia.

In Russia, Natasha taught me more words (man, woman, boy, girl, market, bus, etc) but we relied upon her basic English to communicate. It was very frustrating sometimes, and if our day was going to be complex, we would use the software translator before we headed out to discuss our plans in detail for the day. My Russian responses were usually limited to yes, no, I understand, I don't understand, but we managed to spend a truly glorious 3 and a half weeks together there. Much loved by her non-English speaking family was the game "Let's have the American try and pronounce Russian words". We played this game during many meal times spent around the dining table. Someone would point to something in the kitchen and then say the Russian word for it, which I would then attempt to mimic. It was hilarious!

Since I have returned, I have decided to go as full-tilt into Russian language study as I can manage. I purchased Level 1 and 2 from Rosetta Stone and I study 3 or 4 times each week, with a goal of completing one lesson per week. Often, I will study while chatting with Natasha, and we will turn on the microphones so that she can listen and correct my pronunciation. Anyone interested (in Rosetta Stone particularly) can check my progress on my website (it's linked from my profile here on VJ). I post blog reports after each lesson and I have my grades posted in a separate section as well. I study from the 'home school' edition of the software, where the program directs my study and my progress is based on my performance, and each lesson must be passed three times where different things are emphasized (Rosetta Stone calls this the comprehensive mode). Chatting in Russian using a software translator made me at least familiar with the Cyrillic alphabet and taught me to recognize a lot of words by sight. Now that I'm learning to speak Russian with Rosetta Stone, I am finding it relatively 'easy' to pick up how the letters are pronounced. This is the pleasant side-effect of chatting in written Russian I alluded to earlier.

Learning Russian is important to me, because Natasha's Russian heritage is important to me. Eventually I wish to be able to speak directly with her parents and her family in their native language. When I was there and I asked her parents for permission to marry Natasha, we relied upon the software translator as we sat at the computer, with Natasha occasionally adding something to the conversation if she thought something was unclear. This worked at the time, but it is not what I desire with regard to speaking with her family.

I know I have, most probably, 5 to 7 months before Natasha receives her visa and I travel to Russia to bring her and her daughter to this country. I will use that time to continue my studies of the Russian language and I hope to have completed the bulk of the Level 1 material by that time. I know this will put me at no more than the advanced beginner level, and even after Natasha arrives it is my plan to continue my studies and finish Level 1 and 2 during the first 18 months or so of our being together. This will, I hope, take me to an intermediate level of Russian, and Natasha will take me to whatever level of fluency I am capable of.

Natasha may take English classes (something like ESL) and she may not - she has taken classes before and she believes that simply being here and immersed in English (and with me as her guide) will be all she requires. We will play this by ear and see how it goes. She also believes that her daughter will best learn by just being here, but I'm not as convinced of this. I know that Vika (Natasha's daughter) studies some English at her school now, so perhaps Natasha will be proven right. She usually is!

Here are two comments from other posts on this forum, which I liked and which I think are relevant:

From Jewel12:
"I have a hard time understanding how you can fall in love with a person if you don't speak a common language fluently, but there's lots of things I don't understand, so I better shut up smile.gif"

From bready99:
"This question is pretty simple to answer for me. There is more to loving each other than speaking a common language fluently. If it was that simple (just language) then there would not be so many divorces or break-ups in this country (U.S.A.) or even in the world.

To answer the question for us, it is the way we look at each other, the way we treat each other, the way she laughs or smiles at the things I do. It is how we are able to hug each other after being so frustrated with some of the things we do or say or can't say to each other. We communicate in many ways with each other and, for the most part, it is all enjoyable. We do talk to each other and we do help each other in many ways. I think being in love is all about how each person "completes" the other person. It's not just about talking and it's not all about sex, it's all about how well two people are able to relate to each other and feel good in that relationship. Love is all about feelings and emotions and how two people are able to share and communicate those feelings. Speaking a similar language is just one way of communicating those emotions. I think those of you who have difficulty understanding how two people can be in love without speaking a common language fluently will also have difficulty in understanding those people who can fall in love at first sight, but that's another topic."

Bready99, thank you. You said that so much better than I could ever hope to. Love is very much a (and I hate to use a much-overused term) synergistic thing. When everything is right, it is much more something you feel than something you say. Words are very poor instruments for communicating what we have inside of us, in our hearts. Communication is important, and those of us who have chosen a mate where a language is not shared have a tough road ahead, there is no denying that. But if our hearts are in the right place, if we are truly committed and dedicated to one another, then language shouldn't be an issue. Language is a learned thing, not an innate thing like love is (for me, anyway).

Ok, I guess I'll wrap up my first real post here on VJ. I've lurked for some time now and added a short reply here or there, but I've never delved into anything so verbosely before. Agree with me, disagree with me, even flame me, but if you have something relevant on this subject to share I'd very much welcome your words.

Kevin

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-07-25 10:42:00

6 WKS FROM CSC TO NVC?

QUOTE (slim @ Nov 2 2007, 11:55 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Satellite @ Nov 1 2007, 01:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have not gone to the dentist in two years, since I lost the privilege of being on my parents plan.

Do you really need to go to the dentist?

QUOTE (Satellite @ Nov 1 2007, 01:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Right now I am working two jobs, 42 hours a week and no insurance, no vacation pay, and only because the city of San Francisco mandated employers to have sick days do I have that as of 2007. My two jobs are 1. law office clerk and 2. circulation assistant at the university library.
Neither allow me to work full time to get benefits.

You could consolidate all those hours you work into one job with benefits. (And you'd probably make more money!)

QUOTE (Satellite @ Nov 1 2007, 01:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dropping a couple hundred dollars a month for insurance or $100 and having a $8000 deductible does not seem reasonable to me. I am already carrying $130k debt for school

So $130K for school is reasonable but paying a couple hundred bucks a month for insurance is not?

QUOTE (John & Alla @ Nov 2 2007, 09:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Stable treatment is defined as seeing the doctor once a year and getting a prescription for a year of medication.

This is a classic example of the reason our healthcare system is in the situation it's in.

We've developed a dependency on medical care whether we need it or not. I'm not saying yours isn't needed, what I'm saying is we've all been placed into a system that distinguishes between someone with a chronic condition and someone who is a healthy 25-year-old student that needs nothing more than check-ups and emergency coverage.

Obviously the person that needs a year's worth of medication is going to cost an insurance provider more than someone who needs a check-up every two years. That's why there should be a realistic system in place where the govt. regulates the percentage an individual has to pay to a private company based on that individual's needs. Need a year's worth of meds? OK, you pay the first $2,000 (or an equivalent percentage of your below-poverty salary) then the govt. steps in and pays the rest.

Since the govt. would never go for system like this, where they pay the bills a private company charges them without being regulated (well, except in the rebuilding of a country or running a war) it would have to be a govt. system entirely or a semi-govt. system with private companies being heavily regulated on where they could send individuals for treatment. But, the govt. is in no way near being able to do something like that, so it's going to stay pretty much like it is for quite a while.

QUOTE (russ @ Nov 2 2007, 09:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Individual plans will only insure exceptionally healthy people.

If there was only the "govt. healthcare plan" then everyone would have equal coverage and would pay an equal amount.

It's just impossible to do.

"You could consolidate all those hours you work into one job with benefits. (And you'd probably make more money!)"

This is a little niave, I think. Depending on the nature of the work done, many businesses won't hire any full-time employees other than in management, so that they don't have to give benefits to all the part time employees who wind up covering all the full-time hours. I have some personal experience with this.

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-11-05 13:56:00

Tourist Visa from Russia to US

QUOTE (slim @ Nov 7 2007, 03:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (moxcamel @ Nov 7 2007, 05:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If this is your first meeting I would strongly recommend meeting her in her home town, even if it's the dead of winter. You want to meet her family and friends because if things work out for the both of you, those people are all going to be a big part of your life. You are going to want to see where and how she lives, and you're going to want to give her the opportunity to play hostess to you. These are all really important, especially to her. It shows that you care about more than just her. She's going to want to have the chance to show you off to her friends and family and get their blessing.

Also, Russia is a fantastic trip. You'll be glad you went.

The trip to Russia is a fantastic trip however, I must disagree with the above post on grounds that it's not meeting her friends and family because it's going to be an important part of your future (in truth, you may never see these people again) but because it proves that she's willing to introduce you to her friends and family and actually accept you into her life.

It's very easy for any girl to take an all-expenses-paid trip to a beach resort somewhere to meet with some rich guy for a week or two. It's significantly more difficult for her to accept you into her everyday life and have you become a part of her family and to get the approval of everyone she knows and loves.

Offer to go there. See what she says.

A lot of people on here disagree with my "proof" theory that she must prove to you that she's willing to do her part but I'm a whole-hearted believer in her putting forth just as much effort and willingness as you. The trip to Russia is what proves it.

I'll add my agreement to Slim and the others that meeting her in her natural habitat is a very good thing. Not only does it help to prove her honest intentions, but meeting a foreign guy can be a scary thing for her too, and being surrounded by her family and friends in her native country can help make it a pleasant experience for you both. My fiancee lives with her parents, so I got to spend a lot of time with them and with her sister (who lives in town) and it was wonderful. An added bonus was getting to have the 'talk' with her father!

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-11-08 18:40:00

Cancelling K1

Although it is painful to hear that your visa must be canceled, it is very good to hear that your relationship is still strong. It sounds like many people have good advice and I hope it is able to help you, and I wish you both the best of luck in the future.

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-11-16 11:08:00

QUOTE (Kotenochek @ Nov 28 2007, 02:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good news we have elections for presidendssoon in both countries,so no matter what those will decide i hope it wont be closed eventually.But hey she can still fly to europe and then to russia from european country.

Thanks for the optimism, I'll always take all of that I can get!

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-11-29 17:42:00

My son and I both enjoyed it very much. There's more I'd like to say, but I'd hate to give spoilers to those who haven't seen it yet, so I'll remain quiet.

Thanks for the continuing comments, they are very soothing (and completely logical!).

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-11-12 12:19:00

QUOTE (slim @ Nov 10 2007, 11:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yesterday, Red Dawn came on TV. I've been telling my wife about this movie since before she got here and trying to explain to her the seriousness of what it meant when I was five-years-old.

And then I realized how cheesy it really was and how bad special effects were back in the '80s. She was like "why we watch this stupid movie?" But, the message was there. Anyway, there was no message because it couldn't hold her attention for more than a few minutes. I guess it's a "guy movie" and furthermore, it's a 20+-year-old "guy movie." (On that note, AMC's showing all the classic war movies this weekend for Veteran's Day..... and then the Cool Hand Luke 40th Anniversary special is on later this week.)

The Cold War never really affected average every-day people the way it was made out to in the movies and on the news every night. Sure, there are political ramifications of tensions over things, even now, but for the average people, it's no big deal.

And even if they were to close the borders, she's still Russian and could go back whenever she wanted. Barring a situation like North/South Korea, which would have to be preceded by a huge war and therefore likely not to happen, there would always be travel authorized for nationals visiting family members.

Thanks Slim. I just watched 'Cool Hand Luke' for the very first time, with my 16 year old son, last night. I remember "Red Dawn" very well though I have not watched it in years and years. I graduated high school in 1979, simply convinced that nuclear war between the USA and Russia was inevitable.

I understand that as a Russian citizen she could always return to Russia, but what about the flip side? If relations between our countries were very very bad and she traveled to Russia, would she be allowed to return, as the wife of a US citizen? I don't think it's anything that would ever happen, but the more ammunition I have in the form of knowledge, the better Natasha and I can rest at night.

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-11-11 08:42:00

QUOTE (moxcamel @ Nov 8 2007, 04:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The possibility of the US and Russia closing borders is almost nonexistent. First and foremost is the simple matter of money. There's a lot of western money pouring into the FSU right now, and quite frankly it's money that drives international policy.

Also, the current tensions between the US and Russia are just that. It's a lot of chest pounding and hand waving. The Shrub is going to be out of the Whitehouse in a year, and his ability to make any serious trouble wanes with each passing day. Putin, on the other hand, is only growing in power, but he's gotten to where he is because he's smart and ruthless. He has no interest in cutting off the US because it's simply bad for his power base. And whoever the next US President is, they're going to be way too busy (hopefully) fixing the messes left by this administration to push the stupidity of missile defense in Eastern Europe.

Your fiancee has nothing to fear. If she were Iranian, she'd have a real reason to worry. But if there were a list of countries to worry about borders closing to the US, Russia would be pretty far down there.

So tell her that moxcamel says it's still okay to marry you.

I plan on sending this thread, and your comments in particular, to her immediately! I'm curious how long it will take her to understand the meaning of 'The Shrub'....

Thanks for your comment moxcamel, and for so succinctly stating that which I fumbled over.

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-11-08 17:33:00

My fiancee spoke with me today in a panic over the possibility of escalating tensions between the USA and Russia eventually leading to a closing of the borders between our countries. She was very worried that should this happen, she would not be able to see her family once she arrives in this country (we still wait for NOA2).

I tried to reassure her that when it comes to the actions of our respective governments there is very little the two of us can do, so why should we worry over if's and maybe's. I completely understand her worries and anxiety over the possibility of not seeing her family again should the worst happen, and would really like to chalk this up to rampant hysteria on her part, but none of that makes me feel any better.

I'm just looking for comments, I guess, on not only this possibility but perhaps on similar topics the membership of Visa Journey may have experienced.

Thanks everyone!

Kevin

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-11-08 16:57:00

Drug Czar Toppled By Drug Bolsheviks

Best Headline Ever!

QUOTE (mox @ Nov 29 2007, 04:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That sounds like Bolsheviks to me.....

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-11-29 17:37:00

Difficulties with getting visa

QUOTE (anya&kevin @ Nov 17 2007, 10:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hey everyone!
I am just so annoyed by the work of the US Embassy in Russia. I had my interview on November, 1. And it took like 5 minutes, at the end the interviewer said that I was approved but i needed to provide my fiance's W-2 forms (i guess the other financial proove wasn't enough). I didn't know whether i should be happy that i was approved or wait until i have my visa on hand! So My fiance sent the forms at that day, a week later a girl from the Embassy called and said that it wasn't enough and we need a co-sponsor. My fiance is in entertainment business so of course the forms didn't show alot. He just gets his checks all the time.
So okay, we had our co-sponsor send all the required documents by e-mail. I am caling the Embassy a week after, they said they haven't recieved anything and it may be a technical problem! I was histerical! I am waiting here like crazy, packed everything, can't think of nothing but the f.....ng day i am finally getting my visa! And they just say it is a technical problem!
I am still pissed by their work!!! such a beurocratic establishment, they can't just be nicer and make the petitoners' life easier. So now i spamed them with the forms in 3 different e-mails, i also faxed the documents. Now i am waiting again as i am so used to already! It's just so not fair, just give me the visa! That's all i need, or i am going to lose it here!!!!

It's got to be tough waiting and waiting and then getting the request for more information right at the end of the process, when all we want is for the wait to be over. It's easy to think "and what exactly were they doing during all the time I was waiting?!" Natasha and I still wait for our NOA2, and I dread getting any RFEs or anything else that would slow down the visa in even the smallest way. But I feel your pain, and you will find a way through. Oh, and listen to mox - he's got a good head on his shoulders. Good luck!

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-11-17 19:14:00

Interveiw dates @ moscow and Passport ??

QUOTE (Danno @ Nov 29 2007, 03:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Since my package is on the way to Moscow I have been checking on this website waiting for her number to pop-up.
The list I have been watching is:
http://www.usembassy...ar/iv_dates.php

Are the dates posted, the interview dates, if so, do they only interview on one day a month?
( the only dates listed are nov7 dec 7 and Jan 8)

The latest date posted is for Jan the 8th, I thought embassies typically got-off work on both, home country holiday's and also the holidays of the country that the embassy is located at.
... At least this is the statement on the website from the Russian embassy when I file for a tourist visa to Russia.

How long is the "official" New Years holiday in Russia, I thought it was about ten days.

-------------
Question 2.
Since I am using my Passport.... well to be exact, the Russian visa,
as "proof" of our meeting, along with photos (and lesser forms of proof) I am concerned that my "actual" proof will not be at the interview since my passport is with me. According to the 1-129 "actual" documents ( birth cert. etc) are to be displayed at the interview.

Since this tourst visa is such a main part of my evidence, could it be a problem if they only have a xeroxed copy?

I'm confused - I followed the link you gave and I see just about every day of every month with scheduled interviews. I think you're reading the date wrong - the last 07 is the year.... or for January, 08 is the year.....

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-11-30 15:05:00

Skipping a connecting flight

From the FAQ:

"If you live in a big city - sometimes it is cheaper to have a connection you don't use, if you know the flight will connect through your city. Example - instead of MOW->ATL, MOW->ATL->MCO may be cheaper then the non-stop. Buy the MOW->ATL->MCO ticket, but get off the plane in ATL and don't get on the flight to MCO. This works in any city that is a hub for the carrier. Try every possible connection through that hub and pick the cheapest"

In our security-conscious world today, would not boarding a flight (especially a connecting flight) for which you have a ticket send up any red flags, from a security perspective? I'm just curious.

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-12-04 15:23:00

share your movie

I guess I'll jump in on this old thread now too. Over the weekend, Natasha and I watched "Thief" (???) which is a favorite of Natasha's. It's a drama all the way and very sad (and not a 'good' sad). I hate to give spoilers so I really can't say much about the film (small spoilers ahead: read at your peril). Natasha was completely endeared to Katya , the female lead, because of her enduring love for her 'husband'. I will say he was not a very nice man. Natasha and I discussed this and her response was "At the end of the 2nd war there were not many men available, and she needed a father for her young son, and a husband for herself". I expressed my thought that this man was never much of a father to her son or very nice to him or to her, or a nice man at all. He only wanted what he wanted when he wanted it, to suit his own purposes. I could tell our conversation was straying into cultural-difference territory, and I said that being neither Russian nor a woman, and not living through those horrible days, I could not understand all of her motivations.

Anyone else seen this movie? Your thoughts?

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-12-10 17:28:00

share your movie

The first movie I saw when I was in Russia was "A Driver For Vera" (???????? ??? ????). It was pretty good, but with my limited Russian Natasha had to pause the movie occasionally when something wasn't clear to me. I thought the lead actor (Igor' Petrenko), the driver, had a passing resemblance to Tom Cruise...

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-11-16 11:19:00

Approved!!

QUOTE (Jason-Sasha @ Nov 29 2007, 12:33 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sasha and I were approved today. Nov 28. We got a touch this morning, then later tonight I noticed we were approved!! Its just so great!!!

Congratulations guys!

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-11-29 08:51:00

Russian-Fiance.com

QUOTE (mox @ Dec 10 2007, 11:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hey all,

Someone in another section of these boards posted this link as being a good source of information for Russians and Ukrainians who are waiting on their K-1's and K-3's. It's in Russian, and my Russian is very weak, so I don't know if it really is a good place to point my SO to or not. If it's just a whine-fest, or has a lot of rumors and disinformation then I don't want to send her there. If it's a good resource though, I think it might help her to understand the process better.

Has anyone frequented these boards, and what are your thoughts?

Also, apologies if this site has been brought up before. The search engine seems to ignore dashes, and gave about a zillion hits for "russian" and "fiancee."

This is Natasha's favorite site and where she gets a lot of her information and questions answered from 'the girls on the forum' as she calls them. Like any forum, there are some women there whose main goal seems to be trying to spoil the party for everyone else, but Natasha swears by this site. Just my 2 cents, your mileage may vary!

Kevin

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-12-10 12:41:00

New Biometric Passport for Russia starting in Jan 08

QUOTE (slim @ Dec 19 2007, 12:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Surprise, surprise! Russians at a govt. office not being sure of Russian govt. regulations!!!

Sounds a lot like the U.S.

Why did we ever have a Cold War?

Maybe it was winter? ;-)

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-12-20 09:23:00

200 Years Of Diplomatic Relations

And here's hoping for another 200!

Also, nice hats. It's so wonderful how the two of you were able to travel to that same spot from the other photo and so closely replicate your poses, so that you could have this photo taken. I would have thought you'd be very cold at this time of the year without heavy coats to shield you from the cold, but that just shows the dedication you two have!

Merry Christmas!

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2007-12-24 13:42:00

We have our interview date!

QUOTE (Chris & Olya @ Jan 12 2008, 09:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

YEAH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kevin, I am so happy for both of you

I amreally thrilled that your wait has finally got to the point where there is a light at the end of the tunnel !

Have a great weekend

Chris

Thanks a lot Chris, it has certainly been a great weekend so far! Not only is there a light at the end of the tunnel now, but also a wedding cake!

KGSodie

Male

Russia

2008-01-12 22:22:00