Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Introductory Vacation after arrival	If you are going through New Mexico get off I-10 at Lordsburg go to Silver City and if you are up to it, stay the night there. If you like Mexican food try the Silver cafe. (Hint: my wife does not like anything spicy, so might want to avoid the same for your wife) Great little museum at WNMU with Indian cultural items from a couple of tribes that disappeared centuries ago. Take the time to go north to Pinos Altos and enjoy an old ghost town and high pines. If you have time, go North out of Silver City on highway 12, will take you up to the mountains and the Gila wilderness area. If you feel adventurous, get off the highway and go to Mogollon, if the road is open go up to little cherry and see the elk herds, might see some mountain goats. On the way back stop at the catwalk in Glenwood, a fun little side trip. Then I would go from Silver City to Truth or Consequences via 152 great country including the devils backbone, and once you get to I-25 go South to El Paso and take 10 to points East. Good beaches in Corpus Christi and Galveston, Houston is interesting, Dallas good shopping and the JFK site. If you want to continue East on I-10 would go to New Orleans, see the French Quarter, the Audobon zoo, the Aquarium, walk the Mississippi along the riverwalk. Avoid Oklahoma, Kansas, Iowa not much to see (although they have an Amish settlement at lamoni Iowa at the Missouri Iowa border on I-35 that sell handwoven basket and the like, and homemade pies (for Slim) pastries, breads, jams and jellies from their horse drawn wagons right off I-35, some Amish will let you visit their farm and see rural living without the modern conveniences of elec. tele. cable etc.). Would definitely cone back through either Northern New Mexico or Colorado, hit Moabin Utah, or go on up to Saltr Lake pretty country. Yellowstone is a great idea, but not now, early Summer before all the tourist get there, and if you go North out of Yellowstone great scenery. Jackson Hole is good, a bit touristy but the views of the Tetons are spectacular. Good luck and keep your wife occupied.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-09-10 07:51:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Residency registration	QUOTE (Lyuba @ Sep 23 2008, 12:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I am still registered in my Moscow apartment and I am almost a citizen in US. I renewed my Russian passport through the Houston consulate this year. It wasn't a big deal. They just consider you to be a temporary residing in the US Russian citizen. That's fine with me. My wife is now a ctizen of the US and still maintains her Russian citizenship. She transferred her apartment to her parents to keep it in the family, but both still consider the apt. to be my wife's. This works well for us and we send them money periodically for the upkeep, elec. water etc.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-09-23 17:50:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	So.... how are the driving lessons going?	56' ford bought from lady in hospital for $50 with 48,000 miles. 3 on the tree, but sychronizers went out. Learned to pull that tranny unhang the synchronizers, and slap it back in in 1 hour. First absolutely new car triumph GT6, most exciting porsche 930 turbo over twisty mountain roads. Most overrated range rover piece of you know what. currently 05 chevy ssr with 400 hp motor and 6 speed manual. I am with turboguy in divulging my age via my first car, probably like him have owned 100+ cars in my lifetime and wish I had that warehouse for some of them, 56 nomad, 60 & 61 mercedes 190 sl 61 chev 60 ford falcon. And agree about the slant 6 steadiest running motor that came out of detroit bar none.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-08-11 08:12:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	So.... how are the driving lessons going?	QUOTE (slim @ Jun 27 2008, 01:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I tried to get my wife a panel-van. She was having nothing of it. When we first started looking for a car all we had was $750. She said, "I will buy car for this 750 bucks." We got on E-Bay and I pulled up a $750 car. It was a rusted-out van with three or four different colors on all the different panels from where it'd been wrecked or rusted through and changed out. I could just picture her all "fashion-able" behind the wheel of that van. She made a shrieking noise of some kind hissing sound and then next thing I knew she was talking about going to work or something.... We ended up with the Cobalt which is in the same family as the Couger, Tiburon, Celica, etc. I still worry about her having such a small car but they are relatively safe, I guess. I sure wish she would've bought that panel-van. Kind of like the car with the wrecked front, I'm sure people would've yielded to her, even if she was cruising through a red light. Who knows, maybe this will make them concentrate more and drive even better. (And by the way, Pizza Tower is still open! I checked last weekend, the Mexican place is next door. So if you guys get "lost" on your way back home, stop by and grab a pie.) I bought my wife a (shudder) new PT cruiser. Remember your first car and how you took care of it? Same way with her. She washes the car by hand, parks in the last parking space and at an angle to keep from getting car doored, and wouldn't trade it for an Escalade. She now wants to move up to a Rav 4, and I told her we would only buy it with no trade in, would keep the PT because of low trade-in and good gas mileage as opposed to my pickup. She really loves her little car and thankfully, no wrecks in 3+ years of driving, I still hate to ride with her though, and no sense of direction, none!	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-06-27 14:19:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	So.... how are the driving lessons going?	QUOTE (Turboguy @ Jun 9 2008, 05:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I think the smartest thing I can do is avoid the "brand new car" for a while. The idea of her driving on her own still scares me to death. I think it is going to take a wreck or two as part of her learning experience. She does good about 95% of the time but still has problems with things like 3 way stops and not seeing a stop sign every once in a while. She still hugs the right too much too. Zipping along with poles and cars passing a few inches to your right has turned me into a seat belt believer. Right after the guy came to check out my Solstice he bought on eBay she wanted to take a last drive in it with the top down. I said I didn't think it was a good idea but relented. I was really glad when that ride was over and happy it turned into a short ride. Is it just my wife or do other wives seem to have a lot of difficulty figuring out where there are and where the way to go. Like going to English classes (she drives there) I have to tell her most every turn even though we have gone that way a million times. She is going to be helpless without either me or GPS. It must be a Russian thing. My wife can't find her well you know what behind the wheel. interestingly, she won't drive to church by herself, but will drive to the mall alone. Some correlation here? I think the reason she takes me is for navigational purposes and to not get hit on which bothers the he!! out of her. I try to tell her to take it as a compliment and she responds with a dirty look. Oh well. The idea of a used car is a good idea, and even though the insurance rates are higher I would get the lowest deductible possible as this may be either a blessing in disguise or preventive medicine. My wife has only been involved in one accident where she was rear-ended and she called the kid that did it a bunch of interesting names. She loves her car, and the cracks he put in the paint of her plastic rear bumper were inexcusable. But when his insurance paid off the claim she pocketed the money and decided she could "live" with the cracks. She did hit some curb protectors frequently causing some 1,800 damage ($1,000 deductible so you know who coughed up the moola for that!) Now she wants a bigger SUV type car, and is hinting around for a Rav 4. I told her we were not going to get rid of the PT becasue I could drive it back and forth to work a heck of a lot cheaper than my pickup.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-06-09 06:32:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	So.... how are the driving lessons going?	QUOTE (Turboguy @ Jun 7 2008, 06:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Yea, we are going through the "Her own Car" thing even though she does not have her liscense yet. Lets see, these are the cars she likes. VW-Beetle, Toyota Yaris, Smart ForTwo and Jaguar. She just went on the Jag kick yesterday. If she buys something low like the Jag I might strangle her. I am just finishing up selling my Pontiac Solstice which to me was my favorite car I have owned even though I rarely drove it because it "sat too low" about the same hight as you sit in a Jag. I got myself into some hot water with the wording of my eBay add for the solstice. She never read the ad until the last day it ran. I talked about the equipment the car has and then in the ad I said: "I got married not long ago and the wife says either the car goes or she goes and I can not find a catagory for her on eBay" She did not like that wording all that well. One if the guys who messaged me back suggested I see if Craigs list had a catagory for her. Yeah, I bought two PT cruisers at once and she didn't have her license yet, but she likes the stick, and the car was an incentive to her to get her DL, which she did first shot! My wife is a very careful driver, sometimes to the point that it drives me nuts. Shedrives everywhere we go locally (my cars are too dirty) and I drive on long trips. Wouldn't add to your misery by advertising on Craig's list. I have noticed that what we use as a sense of humor doesn't go over to well with the Russian ladies. Well, maybe over the course of time they will get acclimated to our peculiar brand of humor.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-06-08 10:51:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	So.... how are the driving lessons going?	QUOTE (slim @ Jun 6 2008, 08:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Update: Finally got the license yesterday. We were supposed to be there for a 2:30 appointment. We showed up at 2:32 after doing some last minute practicing in the local neighborhood. "Sorry, you're late." We were only two minutes late but come to find out, we were supposed to be 15 minutes early to register and then start driving right at 2:30. Since I didn't double check the appointment sheet (should've known better, always double check what the wife tells you) and didn't remember from last time because we were so early, they added her to "the list." After almost two hours she went to take her test and the administrator from last time said, "Hey, make sure you stop at all those stop signs." The guy administering the test this time took her around the neighborhood and informed her that if she didn't come to a complete stop the police would give her a "phat ticket." She came back about 10 minutes later (putting us at over 2 hours in the BMV waiting area) and then we headed next door to wait (another 20+ minutes) on them to process her license. So, now we're done. With the BMV at least. Now comes the next step. Tire changes, procedures for accidents, police stops, road hazards, bumper-to-bumper traffic and all the other little delights that come with driving in the U.S.A. We're going to return our practice cones to an abandoned parking lot this weekend. If you guys make it down this way, KazanTiger, you can have them. We're passing the torch. Although, maybe we'll keep them for a high-speed slalom course or a good braking/manuevering obstacle set up. Now we can have some fun! Congratulations, and welcomce to the thrill a minute club. Now you will hear about covers for the steering wheel instead of the toilet seat, and I predict it won't be long until the call for her own car comes out.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-06-06 12:02:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	So.... how are the driving lessons going?	QUOTE (slim @ May 16 2008, 07:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'm gonna hire someone to clean my toilet before I hire someone to drive my wife around. On the driving note..... she passed the written test and has the practical portion, the actual driving part next Friday. Will update then. And she got a job too! We were lounging around on Wednesday and she said, "I go downtown now and find job." Out of the blue. I dropped her off and a few hours later she was waking me up saying something about training tomorrow. She's worked for a couple days, so far so good. I would've posted earlier, but you know how Russians are. They've got that rule about not talking about stuff until after it's over. Kind of like a baseball no-no or the first rule of Fight Club.... From what I gather, it's not that she doesn't understand what she must do or even that she shuns the responsibility. It's that she simply must delay as long as possible to torment me to the maximum degree. Seems like your patience with driving lessons and answering questions about the rules of the road (" no honey yellow light means go faster") is about to end. Congrats on the working wife, now the painful your money is our money and my money is my money lesson. My wife is retooling in school, and I thought that don't tell anyone our plans was an individual characteristic of my wife, don't know if I am relieved or concerned that it seems to be a national pasttime. Now if I can just her out to shoot that M-16 this weekend and send a photo to her dad who brags about kalishnikov superiority...	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-05-16 23:52:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	So.... how are the driving lessons going?	QUOTE (slim @ Mar 6 2008, 02:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (eekee @ Mar 6 2008, 03:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (slim @ Mar 6 2008, 02:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I don't understand how people (girls) from another country, a country where over 75% of the vehicles are stick shift, can come here and complain that driving a stick is "too hard" and a new car, equipped with automatic transmission, must be purchased simply for ease of driving and passing the test. What a bunch of balogna. But, who's really the sucker? I've got a new car, equipped with automatic transmission, sitting out in the driveway. We needed another car payment like we needed an "upgraded" USCIS. Not buying gas would be awesome. I think my Jeep eats almost as much as I do. That confuses me too. Technically, it's illegal to get a license in Russia without knowing how to drive stick shift. And my wife has a license issued in Russia. She says she passed the test there with a manual transmission. But yet here, it's "impossible to drive this masheena" with a stick shift. I had an automatic pick-up truck before, but it was "too big" to drive. It's almost like the "inability" to do it is directly connected to the "desire" to drive a car of her choosing. But, that may not be true either as the small automatic new car isn't exactly aiding her in driving well. It does make her feel better though... and when the wife is happy, everyone is happy! Well my wife came equipped with a Russian driver's license and all she did was sit in the driver's seat of the car, and made a nice gift. When she came here tried driving in my work parking lot, that was OK but the pickup too big, and the suburban, forget about it. So tried the German import with an automatic transmission, she did fine, but the power steering was too stiff, and she impaled the poor car on a cement curb bumper.... Needless to say I was not good when she was behind the wheel, I hit notes that were meant for only in the opera house, (Honey how could you hit so high a note). Bought driving lessons, the instructor even picked her up. Bought his and hers, ooops hers and hers matching PT cruisers on the cheap with sticks, and after she got used to driving the stick shift no problem. I convinced myself that if she could drive a stick, then in an emergency she could drive anything. Now after 4 years in the states she drives to the stores, to school, but won't drive by herself to church, I can't figure that one out. Still have some reaction problems when she is driving, such as my hand bracing against the dash expecting immediate impact. Her retort was don't do that it distracts me! Don't put yourself through the misery of teaching a spouse to drive, unless you live on a farm and can put them in the seat of an old massey ferguson tractor and explain the intricacies of the clutch. Also would help if the plow is attached for some braking resistance, and even though the furrows won't be straight, you will get that North 40 plowed one way or the other. She loves her car, wouldn't trade it for anything, but likes to ask how much cars cost as we pass them on the road, I am afraid she is asking to know how much the insurance company can afford to pay out in the event of an accident. Other peculiarities, she loves to speed, I don't mean 5 miles over the posted limit, we are talking 15-20! Yet she slows down for curves on the interstate, go figure. Long trips I drive, although last trip to the Gulf coast she drove Houston rush hour traffic, a few foos, skatinas, and the like, but afterwards, the sweaty palms dried, and I was told sick or not you are driving through Houston and Dallas!	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-05-05 17:03:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Even females get it	QUOTE (slim @ Oct 3 2008, 12:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (jsouthwick @ Oct 2 2008, 01:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> As to the Russian accent, wait until Alla starts speaking more English you will find yourself enthralled. Children will assimilate faster and their accents will be cute, but coming out of the mouth of the woman you love-well all I can say is you will see what a wuss you can be made into. All I can say is it will drive you crazy as well because, like children, there will be many things "I not know because I speak Russian language." Ah, what's the language you speak have to do with paying rent? Sure, there will be funny and cute moments, but there will also be those very trying times when she knows exactly what you're talking about but plays the ignorance card. (All the more incentive for you to speak Russian. If you understand and speak her language there's almost no way she can pull a fast one on you.) I really haven't had that problem of "no understand" Julia had pretty good English skills when she came, and has thrown herself into school. I told her she didn't have to work, but she went out and got a part time job through the middle of december while in school. so as harried as she is with studies and work, not too many opportunities to play the nicht verstehen card. But I do hear a litany of complaints about the folks she works with, mostly about back biting. I tried to explain to her that state government work usually attacts the LCD of the working populace. But she does understand why when I come home from work I am not too eager to run out to eat, now the shoe is on the other foot! And staying on topic just deleted an e-mail from Helen. Most of the ####### I see comes with a man's name on the heading.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-10-03 08:17:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Even females get it	Love the Masks Jeffrey! Now we won't see "Mr. Kind eyes" references for awhile. I am certainly looking forward to the November masks as there are haloween masks with the hopefuls available, so are you going to be McCain or Obama? Alla in a Palin mask? We are dying in suspense. As to the topic-I ge these e-mails all the time at work (like AK a govt. worker) I don't even open them even tho I would like to see the "hot" photos. Had some come with photos within the body of the letter, can see the appeal to us lonely older guys. As to the Russian accent, wait until Alla starts speaking more English you will find yourself enthralled. Children will assimilate faster and their accents will be cute, but coming out of the mouth of the woman you love-well all I can say is you will see what a wuss you can be made into.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-10-02 12:26:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Adjusting to Life in USA	QUOTE (phewall @ Oct 21 2008, 02:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hello All, We've completed the first part of the "Visa Journey" and my lovely Svetlana is here in the USA with me. Now it seems comes the hard part. She has been here since 1 July and we've gotten married, had a beautiful wedding in Lake Tahoe and are settling in together. The hard part has come as my bride is feeling down about not having work and worried about her "level" going down as a result. She is 35 and worked very successfully in Moscow as a type of business consultant for taxes and labor laws etc. She has a very nice degree from Moscow University and now feel like it was "wasted" since it may not translate directly over here. Unfortunately as luck would have it, the first two ladies she has encountered (1 from Odessa and 1 from St Petersburg) have relayed mostly negative stories about how they were successful in Russia/Ukraine, but that now they are like "guest workers" in the USA with little prospects for success. Of course this has only brought Svetlana's mood down only more. (Needless to say these very nice ladies have other issues in their relationships which are the true source of their unhappiness). I'm working now to get some of the basics taken care of like immigration paperwork for AOS, driving lessons, English courses, although she speaks pretty well, etc. I work as an officer in the USMC and we have plenty of money. We live in a nice apartment with palm trees and a swimming pool in Oceanside, CA yet she still feels like she's gone backwards in life because of this job issue. So the bottom line is that I'm looking for anyone out there who has had POSITIVE experiences getting adjusted and beginning their careers in the USA after coming from Russia. I know that if she can see some positive examples of ladies who have transistioned successfully that will really help her outlook and hopefully she can get some constructive advice on what steps she can take to attain the success here in this country that she seeks. Please feel free to email me at phewall@mac.com and let me hear from you. I can certainly give you more information than I can in this short space. Thank you all and God Bless you! James Hello James, I think you are going through what a lot of us did when we brought our wives here who are not independently wealthy, we work during the day and try to take care of our wive's needs afterward. My wife experienced the same homesickness, wanted to contribute, (what a great attribute as opposed to what we have become accustomed to). She was a pediatric surgeon in Russia, and didn't want to do a residency here to achieve the same status. She switched to accounting. Took a two years associates degree at a local college, then applied to undergrad school, but the school on its own initiative suggested that with her medical degree she enroll in graduate school so she is now happily (I think) battling the masters in accountancy program. One of her acct. professors recommended her for a part time job and that also keeps her occupied. Where we live people have from our limited experience treated Russian women like peons. My wife dresses up every day to go to work even on casual fridays. Her supervisor reminded her that fridays are blue jeans day. My wife wouldn't be caught dead in a pair of blue jeans, so she agreed to a denim skirt which we are now shopping for. Americans just don't get how Russian women like to dress up when going out of the home and want everyone else to be slobbish like me. And I am Mr. Slob so I don't help much, but will put on something when we go out together that is appropriate. The first two years are tough but we got Russian TV by satellite, sponsor many calls and text messages to Russia and otherwise keep in touch back home. Best of luck!	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-10-25 08:42:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	OT: Russian Language Lessons	QUOTE (mox @ Feb 28 2008, 02:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Had my first lesson with my tutor last night, and it went really well. What a world of difference it makes speaking with someone face to face. It also made me realize two of the biggest problems with the Rosetta Stone course: they don't teach gender cases (at least early on, maybe in advanced), and they don't teach the infinitive case (again, at least early on, but this is when they should be teaching it). For example, she asked me to say the word for cat and I said "?????," as I had learned in Rosetta. Which is fine if you're talking about the female case. The masculine form is "???," and is the more normal way of saying it if you're just talking about cats in general. For the infinitive case, to read is "??????." But the Rosetta course has you learn "??????," which is correct if you're saying "he is reading," (and they do indeed show a picture of someone reading, so they're not wrong per se) but it gets confusing when you have to learn the different forms of the word without first knowing the infinitive case. And because Rosetta is based solely around "look at the picture and say the word," you don't really get a good understanding of why you would say it one way this time, and another way the next time. All good stuff, and she's tailoring our lessons to fit my circumstances. We're not really going for "Russian 101," but more of a "How to speak with your Russian woman and her family without looking like too much of a dumbasz." When my wife arrived she bought a English to Russian translator some pocket gizmo, and lathough she has really good English skills (Thank You LORD!!) she has burned through two translators in the last 4 years, some words really give her trouble, especially words that have more than one meaning. They are not cheap but well worth the money.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-02-28 13:29:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Christmas Gift Ideas for your Russian/Ukranian Family	We are sending clothes, for nephew neices, cousins, MIL, FIL, sisters BILs. They love our clothes and find clothing especially childrens in Russia is cost prohibitive. Chocolates come from Russia to here, my wife can't stand American chocolate, however, my MIL loves the cherry mashes I brought her, go figure. We also include a bill of lading itemizing all goods, make sure that the customs listing doesn't exceed $100, and e-mail the itemized list to Russia so whoever picks up the package opens it in front of postal people and verifies the contents. Our packages have taken up to 2 months to arrive, for some reason they get hung up in customs in Moscow, but we have never experieinced any loss of contents yet.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-11-24 09:46:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Notice The Signature Update	QUOTE (lsma @ Nov 14 2008, 10:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Congratulations - looking forward to seeing the wedding hats And if the happy couple gets married in an Orthodox church one of the children could take a photo for later posting of course, with crowns over their heads!	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-11-18 13:11:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	What were the first few things you learned to say in Russian, and why?	QUOTE (slim @ May 1 2009, 09:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (Brad and Vika @ May 1 2009, 08:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You might also get the bad guy to just laugh himself to death But seriously, the sight of a small, pink pistol could be met with disbelief and you would have to use it. I never even thought of it like that. You are probably right though, a pink (or other "colored") gun could make a bad guy "call the bluff" and insist that I use it. I've hoped I'll never have to use my carry gun but what's sad is the older and older I get (and more "good citzens" I run into) the less I hope that it never gets used. I don't know if it's just my BS toleratometer wearing out (maybe needs recalibrated?) or if it's that with each passing year of getting up, going to work, paying taxes, and seeing my community go farther and farther into the crapper that I just start to care less. I don't know. Maybe one day I'll get it. Til then, I have a black gun. QUOTE (Brad and Vika @ May 1 2009, 08:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> We are off to Chicago this weekend - so we will have some drive time to talk about guns. I'll keep you posted. Now there's proof that gun control works if there ever was any! Cook County has some of the strictest gun control laws in the entire country. Should be one of the nicest, safest places.... right? If only the criminals would follow all the gun laws too..... Edited: I actually wrote my Congressman a few months back when HR45 was introduced and asked him if we were to model our national policy of gun control based on the "success" of Chicago gun control, is that what he was looking to vote for? So far, no reply. And no votes either, so maybe it worked! Been awhile since my wife got citizenship, but couldn't resist GUNS, my two cents on a carry piece for a member of the fairer sex-S&W model 49 with the shrouded hammer. Shoots 5-38 cal. can shoot from a pocket or purse without a hammer snag, but does have a hammer. Would load it with glaser safety slugs-little BB shot in liquid teflon- guaranteed thug stopper but won't go through the wall and kill the neighbor. Would investigate a "Feminine protection" purse that has a built-in holster. Bought one at a gun show for the ex, very nice concealment. My new citizen likes her H&R 22 single action, and I'm with Slim with a 12 ga. winchester defender for the house.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2009-05-05 14:28:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Russian wisdom from Natasha	QUOTE (LvivLovers @ Apr 21 2008, 11:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> As far as pizzas go....I had a few while I was in Lviv...I'm sort of a picky eater so whenever I thought I could get away with I would request pizza. Believe it or not, I liked most of these better than I do American pizzas from the big pizza chains. My wife kept getting corn as one of the pizza toppings...she said I don't eat enough vegetables. It wasn't bad though. I don't know if it's just me but when I was younger I used to think our pizza chain pizzas tasted a whole lot better than they seem to now. I suspect that they have cheapened up the ingredients over time. My experience with Lviv pizzas made me feel like maybe this really is what happened, but of course I can't prove it. My wife loves papa john's pizza but only one variant the rest, foo! She shops at Walmart to send clothes for infant nephews, recently hit the mall for a clearance sale at Dillard's (regional equivalent of larger chains) bought a bunch of items for herself, sent cousin a cashmere sweater that she bought for $5 original cost $225. Stocked up on a lot of Antonio Melani and Ralph Lauren. I got a few chapters read in a book I keep in her car for that very purpose. She hates "wind" in the house so running a fan or opening a window is a nono, unless it is in "my" room, then the fan goes of and the window down when she visits me in my den. Our gas bill runs 1/2 of a 9 unit apt. bldg. we own. Took her and another Russian lady to see Russian pianists performing in the home of some wealthy person. She brought flowers, the 1st pianist was shocked, probably having never received flowers at a performance here in the US, the second performer who she idolizes loved the flowers and gave her a buss on the cheek and a warm smile. My wife came back to her seat with rosy cheeks and tears. Then the home hostess announced that the flowers were an indication of how much the community at large appreciates Valery. My wife was incensed, and kept asking me why this woman did this. I advised that rich Americans always try to turn something to their advantage, that Valery knew who and why the flowers were given no matter what the woman said.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-04-21 11:23:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Russian wisdom from Natasha	QUOTE (seanconneryii @ Apr 18 2008, 06:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (KGSodie @ Apr 18 2008, 03:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (seanconneryii @ Apr 18 2008, 12:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> OK...here's my funny story about hot versus cold drinks for Russians. When my wife talks to me on the phone, I stopped having a coke or ice tea while we talk to avoid getting a lecture on how bad it is for me to drink something with ice in it. If she hears the jiggle of ice in my glass, I'm really in for it. At least a 5 minute scolding that cold drinks will harm me and why will I not listen to her sound Russian advice. I guess I'll have to disconnect my automatic ice maker when she arrives in the USA. When Natasha was in Russia and we would talk on webcam and voice chat, I would get the same lecture as you, SCII, if I was drinking a pop. But, oddly enough, now that she's here she has dropped this particular objection, though she of course doesn't follow this practice herself. I only occasionally get the fact mentioned that it's not good for me, and even then only if I've already got a sniffle. Luckily, my ice-maker doesn't work. :-) I'm a ice drinking freak...so I'm hoping she'll "Americanize" on this one. Otherwise the summer's are going to be VERY long. You can tell Natasha maybe she's not so far off about me being crazy! These Russian women are psychic, I swear! My wife knows stuff about me and I don't know where she gets it...but she's often right on the money. My wife gave up trying to wean me off of cold drinks. Love those fountain cokes especially the ice which I like to crunch much to my wife's displeasure and my dentst's delight. It seems every time I go to the dentist he is rubbing his hands in anticipation of a new crown, and I swear I can see dollar signs in his eyes. When you are without huevos you will bend over for anyone, in the dentist's case it is to pick my pocket.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-04-19 18:58:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Russian wisdom from Natasha	QUOTE (peejay @ Apr 19 2008, 12:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I pretty much skimmed through the whole thread and found that my wife has a lot of similar traits that others described. My wife often uses the "foo" word to show her dislike of something. I didn't realize it was a Russian idiom. I never heard my stepdaughter use it though. I have heard many Belarusian women use the term "oi, oi, oi" while shaking their head to convey their disapproval of something. Jews are famous for using the same idiom, but the Belarusian women I know that use it aren't Jewish. Large portions of Belarus were a part of the old Tsarist era Pale of Settlement where Jews were required to live, so that may explain that regionalism. My wife was born and raised in Russia, so that probablty explains why she uses "foo" instead of "oi, oi, oi". My wife also distains colas, but her daughter loves them. Neither of them likes kvas, but I have a taste for it. My wife and many of the Russian / Belarusian women I know love their tea. My wife can't live without it and drinks it with milk or cream. She also likes her juice and it is drunk at room temperature. It sits on the counter unrefridgerated. We are fortunate to live in an area of Houston close to our house that has two Russian stores that stock foods, medicines, books, movies, etc. from Eastern Europe and many of the former Soviet republics. I lived there even before I met my wife, so it has turned out to be a plus. She has discovered American brands that are acceptable to her, but has the Russian stores to fall back on for certain things. Most notably unrefined sunflower oil, halva, various sweets, church wine (Kagor), and buckwheat (gretchka) comes to mind. Russians / Belarusians tend to prefer pork over beef. My wife seldom cooks beef. Pork, chicken, and fish is prefered in that order. I'm not a huge fan of pork, but have learned to live with it. My wife also does not like the American health care system (insurance), doctors, dentists, or medicines. I had a real fun time trying to convince her that our American thyroxine was the same as the thyroxine she got in Belarus. While our system has a lot not to like, I think most of the distain comes from having to pay and pay and pay. My wife is also a huge believer in natural cures and old wives cures from the village. Some of it is OK for minor ailments, but it can also be detrimental if someone refuses competent medical care for serious medical conditions. We often butt heads when she nags me about my decision to go to "my" American doctors rather than letting her cure me. My wife is also superstitious, but so are some Americans. My wife is probably one of the most superstitious people I ever met though. Most of the time I play along with it to indulge her, but I only go so far with it. There is a limit. I could probably write a book on my many observations, but I'll stop here for now. One observation that I would like to make is that people are not entirely the same even when they come from the same country. People might have similar beliefs, attitudes, etc. they aquire from their upbringing and culture, but they are still individuals and are different in their own way. Russians are not monolithic. They are not all exactly the same. Yeah I have had to stick my head under a towel and inhale the boiling potatoes to cure whatever was wrong with me! My wife, extremely superstitous and I can't recall all of them besides what I have written. I am sure to remember now as I hear or see them more often. We are "home shoes" practitioners and become uncomfortable when we visit others and they tell us it is okay to walk on the floor with shoes on. QUOTE (Kazan @ Apr 19 2008, 03:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Both of these were used everyday when I was in Kazan'. I gravitated towards, "??!", while Alla used, "???????!" more frequently, They are both used to convey a feeling of shock, surprise, or pain. Alla and I both used, "??!" equally whenever we did not like something strongly. QUOTE (eekee @ Apr 19 2008, 03:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> i hear russians say "oi" too, usually in connection with "???????." QUOTE (peejay @ Apr 19 2008, 01:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> My wife often uses the "foo" word to show her dislike of something. I didn't realize it was a Russian idiom. I never heard my stepdaughter use it though. I have heard many Belarusian women use the term "oi, oi, oi" while shaking their head to convey their disapproval of something. Jews are famous for using the same idiom, but the Belarusian women I know that use it aren't Jewish. Large portions of Belarus were a part of the old Tsarist era Pale of Settlement where Jews were required to live, so that may explain that regionalism. My wife was born and raised in Russia, so that probablty explains why she uses "foo" instead of "oi, oi, oi". I hear foo a lot more than oi although it crops up on occasion.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-04-19 18:55:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Russian wisdom from Natasha	QUOTE (eekee @ Apr 19 2008, 11:31 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Probably because their first husband dumped them for someone twenty years younger and they could use the self-esteem boost. QUOTE (seanconneryii @ Apr 19 2008, 11:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I understand what you are saying and agree. Your situation is similar to mine. There are a lot more women I'd be interested in and available in Russia but very few in the US. I also find that older US women (say 45-55) often want to date younger men (like 35-40). Not sure why unless it's ego or the fear older men can't perform...which is probably an real issue. There is a lot more factors to choosing a mate overseas versus here in the US, but I agree with your comments. Eekee, shame on you for talking of me that way.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-04-19 18:50:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Russian wisdom from Natasha	QUOTE (KGSodie @ Apr 18 2008, 09:27 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (jsouthwick @ Apr 18 2008, 12:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (KGSodie @ Apr 17 2008, 05:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'm reminded of a math riddle: If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, then how long will it take a frog with a wooden leg to kick all of the seeds out of a dill pickle? Irrelevant, you say? Nonsensical, you say? Right at home in this thread now, I say! Let's get back on track, everyone, and I vote we just ignore scii if he elects to post any more off-topic bilge water here. Anyone else have any amusing stories from life with their Russian significant other? Natasha did explain to me 'foo', though I don't think I've heard either her or Vika use it around me to date. Vika has completed viewing every animated DVD I have and is now poking around looking for tapes. Come to think of it, though, I have a few more DVDs she probably hasn't stumbled over yet - the old Peanuts specials and the Christmas specials (Rudolf, Frosty, etc). I'll have to point them out to her. Vika has taken a real shine to Pineapple-Orange juice (Schwan's variety), and seems to prefer it now over apple and grape-peach. I make a 2 quart pitcher (plus a 2-quart bottle of something store-bought) and we all go through them both in about 2 days (though I only get a glass or two usually). They love their juice, my two girls! My wife isn't much of a juice girl, but I see that the Russians in her hometwon love their juice and disdain my koka. Her dad drinks kvas, that really didn't trip my trigger. Glad you have been introduced to "foo", it is fun and we might see it added to Webster's in a few years. I ran some of the Mat stuff, my wife says too low class and respectable folks don't use such language. I remind her of some of the English words she has used not the same. OK for her to do the bad but me oh no. Well I have already spilled the beans where my nads are, and happy for that, now I don't have to worry where to tuck em, torsion, or getting kicked where it will hurt. Now I can skip along like a little wood fairy and not be bothered when someone ask me if I am "Blue", nope just the eunuch of the house along with the male cats. Seems misery loves company. When I advised my wife of the deviations from this thread, well I guess you can probably figure out where she landed. Sorry there rustic Scotsman from yankeeland. She chastised me for living vicariously on VJ, i advised she needed to see that man's magazine that I just bought with the Russian hotties in it. When I told her it was the first time I bought one in the last 35 years, she got a kick out of my porna deprived state. And no we don't whistle in the house "throwing away money" don't drive down a road when a black cat crosses, she knocks on my head (something wooden) when recounting a good event, can't snap my fingers to get the cat's attention, too much like ordering a servant around. I tell her that us nutless ones have to have some way to communicate, and I don't meow (too high pitched now that I have joined the cats) or purr very well, and the cats seem to respond to the finger snap. Too bad, pitch your meows to their level and try to be more slothful like them, you are too active. To this I say, Honey punching buttons on the remote and popping a top ain't all that active. Loves to drive, didn't drive in Russia at all, yet had a driver's license. Tells lots of jokes on New Russians" and the road police. Every day is a new adventure. So many more in my aged and decrepit state I can't remember. Now what was this thread about? Oh yeah, love respect and admiration for our fellow man or woman. I hope I don't get in trouble with my wife for not writing "Fellow woman" first. I like the way your train runs, or derails, or whatever it is. I'll have to look up some more of your posts! Good stuff. That's what I get for being a railroad regulator. Very perceptive. We have been married for 4 years (in July) and my wife insisted we get married in a Russian orthodox church, which fortunately we have her in our "village" as my wife calls it. Transition is very difficult, and you really don't appreciate it until you experience the same. Had a buddy bring over a Russian fiancee and his view of entertainment for her and her daughter was showing them the mechanized way trash is picked up. Needless to say that relationship didn't work out and they did not get married, he ended up marrying a girl from South America. This weekend we are going to see a Russian pianist and his daughter perform and taking another couple with us, the fellows wife is from my wife's hometown, and we are getting all geared up to present our Pascha basket at church next week to be blessed by the priest. So if you adopt various cultural aspects of your wife's former country, it makes the transition much easier and she appreciates the efforts you make on her behalf. In the mean time, they integrate themselves into American culture and try to excel at everything they do, to show how Russians really are. perhaps this is just my wife, but I think many Russian women here do the same, although I could be wrong, just my two cents on what I have observed in the Russian community here.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-04-18 11:28:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Russian wisdom from Natasha	QUOTE (KGSodie @ Apr 17 2008, 05:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'm reminded of a math riddle: If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, then how long will it take a frog with a wooden leg to kick all of the seeds out of a dill pickle? Irrelevant, you say? Nonsensical, you say? Right at home in this thread now, I say! Let's get back on track, everyone, and I vote we just ignore scii if he elects to post any more off-topic bilge water here. Anyone else have any amusing stories from life with their Russian significant other? Natasha did explain to me 'foo', though I don't think I've heard either her or Vika use it around me to date. Vika has completed viewing every animated DVD I have and is now poking around looking for tapes. Come to think of it, though, I have a few more DVDs she probably hasn't stumbled over yet - the old Peanuts specials and the Christmas specials (Rudolf, Frosty, etc). I'll have to point them out to her. Vika has taken a real shine to Pineapple-Orange juice (Schwan's variety), and seems to prefer it now over apple and grape-peach. I make a 2 quart pitcher (plus a 2-quart bottle of something store-bought) and we all go through them both in about 2 days (though I only get a glass or two usually). They love their juice, my two girls! My wife isn't much of a juice girl, but I see that the Russians in her hometwon love their juice and disdain my koka. Her dad drinks kvas, that really didn't trip my trigger. Glad you have been introduced to "foo", it is fun and we might see it added to Webster's in a few years. I ran some of the Mat stuff, my wife says too low class and respectable folks don't use such language. I remind her of some of the English words she has used not the same. OK for her to do the bad but me oh no. Well I have already spilled the beans where my nads are, and happy for that, now I don't have to worry where to tuck em, torsion, or getting kicked where it will hurt. Now I can skip along like a little wood fairy and not be bothered when someone ask me if I am "Blue", nope just the eunuch of the house along with the male cats. Seems misery loves company. When I advised my wife of the deviations from this thread, well I guess you can probably figure out where she landed. Sorry there rustic Scotsman from yankeeland. She chastised me for living vicariously on VJ, i advised she needed to see that man's magazine that I just bought with the Russian hotties in it. When I told her it was the first time I bought one in the last 35 years, she got a kick out of my porna deprived state. And no we don't whistle in the house "throwing away money" don't drive down a road when a black cat crosses, she knocks on my head (something wooden) when recounting a good event, can't snap my fingers to get the cat's attention, too much like ordering a servant around. I tell her that us nutless ones have to have some way to communicate, and I don't meow (too high pitched now that I have joined the cats) or purr very well, and the cats seem to respond to the finger snap. Too bad, pitch your meows to their level and try to be more slothful like them, you are too active. To this I say, Honey punching buttons on the remote and popping a top ain't all that active. Loves to drive, didn't drive in Russia at all, yet had a driver's license. Tells lots of jokes on New Russians" and the road police. Every day is a new adventure. So many more in my aged and decrepit state I can't remember. Now what was this thread about? Oh yeah, love respect and admiration for our fellow man or woman. I hope I don't get in trouble with my wife for not writing "Fellow woman" first.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-04-18 00:35:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Russian wisdom from Natasha	QUOTE (KGSodie @ Apr 16 2008, 12:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (seanconneryii @ Apr 16 2008, 11:42 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> We can laugh and joke nervously and surrender to the Russian idiosyncratic ways...or we can step up as men and help our women cross the bridge to a new and better way. Russian women expect men to lead and direct the family but they will attempt to test us by carrying over their Russian Bolshevik beliefs because that is their comfort zone. It is our work to enlighten them and be strong and decisive and drive them beyond the safety of this invisible safety zone. That is what they want deep down. If we act as silly boys and allow their old ways to dictate daily life in our homes, we will set into motion forces that we will regret down the road. We will loose their respect and we will be no better off than if we married Betty Sue. Let us not import Russian ways but offer our women and children the gift of our culture and ways. Otherwise, we should move to Russia and let our wives tell us what is what. Russian women are strong and need a stronger force to push back and set the limits and boundaries. Be men. Be America men. Lead, direct, and show that you are the head of the family. I disagree in the strongest of terms. I have absolutely no intention of forcing American ways on Natasha, and I think the attitude that American ways are superior because they are American is ridiculous in the extreme. This isn't to say that all things Russian are wonderful either - but the culture clash often brings to light off-beat and amusing incidents in every day life, and that is what I wished to share. There is no 'nervous laughter' from me over the things I shared - they are all true. I should tell Natasha that drinking cold beverages will not harm her, and then FORCE her to do it, because then I am being the strong American man she 'needs' and will respect? Hogwash. Where does the line get drawn? There is no 'right' way when it comes to such things, there is only the way that works in each individual relationship. I'll get off my soapbox now! I agree 100%. My wife already has my nads in her hands so much the better, since I am not a spring chicken anymore it and they aren't worth much anyhow. I expose my wife to American ways and watch her turn up her nose at how amenrican women go out in sweatsuits, and act in other totally disgusting ways. I have had to make big adjustments in my life to accomodate her, and she to me, so it is not the pleasure palace here in the states, lots of adjustments for everyone involved. My wife won't drink koka but she dearly loves her chai, and I wouldn't change the person she is and make her into a Stepford wife marching in synchronism with all the other american women. She is an individual who comes from Russia and I respect, admire and adore her individualityand the country she comes from. America isn't the be all do all is all of the universe, perhaps that is why we are so despised by other cultures because we wrongly import the idea of our way or the highway, we know what is best for you people attitudes.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-04-16 15:28:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Russian wisdom from Natasha	QUOTE (slim @ Apr 16 2008, 10:04 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Man I had a good laugh at this thread. Those same rules apply in our house with the exception of eating hamburgers. Gamboorgers FOO! I also tried to argue (I gave up after a while) without making much progress. I guess any arguments fall upon deaf ears when they come from a man. If you haven't had the privilege of taking her to the doctor/dentist/etc. yet, you'll soon hear about how these "men" here don't know anything because they're not as smart or well educated as Russian doctors/dentists/etc. This has been a great thread, and the foo? priceless! I hear it so much that it has become a new word in my vocabulary, although people look at you strangely when used. Now about those American Doctors, my wife is a doctor and she is scared to death of American Dentists and Doctors. They don't know as much as Russians but these Americans have wonderful technology (read toys here). I have also found out that my love for spicy food is a nono at home, so many meals taken at the Thai and taco hell alone. And when I put that spicy mustard on pelmini look out! Actually, she will try a dab. The latest pleasure at our house is to go to the melting pot for fondue chocolate (American choclate sucks of course)! And no good sausages, cheese, curds must come from the Russian store, along with the bugwheat (honey that is buckwheat, no I found a bug in it so it must be bugwheat)!	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-04-16 15:14:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	The foods they made you eat... just once.	QUOTE (eekee @ May 15 2009, 08:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Kvas is delicious. I think perhaps she ruined it for you by telling you it was like coke. It's nothing like coke. It's a very lightly alcoholic beverage made from fermented bread. Take it on its own merits, and it's delicious. Expect it to be sweet and syrupy, and you'll be disappointed. Sorry eekee, raised on the real thing and Kvas just doesn't cut it. didn't much care for curds or carpa, (too many small bones) don't much care for borscht, love the cherry jelly except for the pits. Pevo was great. Cavair? No thanks.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2009-05-17 22:02:00
US Citizenship General Discussion	42 New Questions on the Civics Test?	QUOTE (NickD @ May 8 2008, 01:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I sure cannot find any additional question to the "Learn about the United States: Quick Civics Lessons" M-638 (rev. 08/06)" booklet, even without the booklet. Was anyone else told there are extra questions? Guy told me they can be found in the http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis site, I assume under Education & Resources. Lots of stuff there, but nothing about addition questions. I went to the USCIS home page and under naturalization go to related links on the right side of the page. there should be a link to click regarding tests, and the fact that the tests have been redesigned. Don't know what is in the booklet but the webpage was revised 4/22/08. I thnk it will give yo some insight on whatto study, what the test will consist of, and what to learn. Good luck!	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-05-08 14:21:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Favorite Pictures in Russia	QUOTE (seanconneryii @ Mar 12 2008, 04:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (jsouthwick @ Mar 12 2008, 02:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (Buck and Natalia @ Feb 13 2008, 03:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (Kazan @ Feb 13 2008, 09:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Once again Doc Kirk, you sound like me. After my divorce, I went from the popular guy, to... Well, I pretty much fell off the earth. Mostly because our friends, truly could not get used to me and the former apart. Still today, neither myself or the former have any of our "old" friends. We've had to make all new. It wasn't until I moved to Russia that my social status returned. Probably says a lot about me. I can see that I enjoy socializing as a couple far more than individually. And like you stated, I feel very comfortable alone when I'm alone. I don't have any need to go out. I'm fine watching a movie with a bowl of popcorn at home. This subject is something I worry a bit for my Alla. The fact that she has her theatre background, she is used to being around "artsy" very social people. We have spoke about this many times. She told me she is wanting a change and really wants to concentrate on family. In her always interesting words, "Jeffery, I was in theatre because I had not a man in my life. I wanted excitement and not to be bored in my free time. But I have you now. I have my children. It will be enough" I do hope that she will not become overly bored here. QUOTE (mox @ Feb 13 2008, 10:14 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> The doctor is in. Again, I don't have the actual experience of living with my SO yet, so I'm short on practical advice. It could very well be that 6 months from now I'll be in your situation doing a search for this thread (photo thread...must remember photo thread!) to see what other people advised. But I think it's pretty clear that she needs to figure out a way to broaden her social circle. Again, I don't know your wife, but I have a hard time buying that it's a choice she makes. Or at least not a choice she wants to make. If it were a choice then she'd have some level of resignation to it, but that's not what I see you describing. It sounds to me like she's coming up with a lot of excuses to not make friends, and that could be a symptom of anything from shyness to clinical, but is most likely something in between. I think it's up to you and her to figure it out. Nobody *wants* to be unhappy or lonely, but many of us cling to it when we've gone through something very life-changing. I used to be a real social butterfly until after my divorce. I holed up and didn't come out for a long time. I still have a difficult time making friends now and hanging out with people. I hate that I'm not as social as I used to be, but there is a strange comfort to it too. Anway, my 2 kopeks. OK..... any relationship advice I give probably borders on malpractice..... but here goes. Like Kirk and Jeffrey, I also fell off the face of the earth after my 19-year marriage. All our friends (with the exception of my to-the-death fraternity brothers) were "couple friends" and just did not know what to do with me as a "third-wheel" single. My former church friends, with the exception of one man that had been divorced, totally abandoned me now that I bore the scarlet "D" of divorce. If anything, I learned who my true friends were...... and were not. With respect to my current relationship with Natalia, I knew going in that social isolation might be a problem once she arrived. Accordingly, I developed a long-range plan. Now Natalia is a special case because she is an upscale attorney in her country and had the money and freedom to visit me in the USA. During her USA visit, she met my family and did many social things with my former couple friends..... which felt more comfortable relating to me now that I was a couple again. Natalia also speaks english well which was invaluable in her being able to relate to my friends. After she returned to Russia, Natalia also had the means to afford monthly internet service. Webcam was a Godsend in more ways than the obvious. For the past year, Natalia has been speaking on webcam once a week with my children. Natalia also has been speaking on webcam maybe 30 minutes to an hour each day with my mother. My father passed away last year and Natalia and my mom have become very close. Natalia already feels like she has a strong connection with my family even before she comes here next month. Obviously, this required a strong financial and time commitment from Natalia. However, it was well worth it and the end result is that she is already 50% plugged-in before her foot ever touches USA soil. When Natalia arrives next month, I plan on inviting our couple friends to our home for dinner at least 1 or 2 times each month. Natalia and I will also host parties at our home maybe once a quarter or every 6 months. My couple friends were also intitially skeptical of Natalia and our relationship. However, most of the skepticism dissipated once they met her. Now none of this pre-arrival plug-in advice helps Slim much. His wife is already here and already feels isolated whether by personal choice or outside circumstances. Nevertheless, here is my border-line malpractice relationship advice: 1. Get her english up to conversational level if it is not there already. 2. She does not like your friends? If they are mostly beer drinking buddies, then it is probably time to expand your frienship circle to include more couples. 3. She is a snob? I can't help you there if she is truly a snob and thinks your friends are low-class. If they are low-class then it is probably time to level-up. If they are not low-class, then there is probably something else going on. Communication problems due to poor english skills? One or more of your dude friends hitting on her? The USA wives treating her like a Russian scammer ######? You will need to figure this out. 4. Once you figure out what is really going on (See Step 3), then it's time to step up and host things at your home. I can relate if this is outside your comfort level. I was a litigation attorney for 15 years. Many people find me intimidating. My basic personality can not really be described as warm and fuzzy. I am not a social guy and relating to others, especially new people, is something of a chore for me. Anyway, that is my problem and I need to get past it. 5. She is bored and lonely when you are putting in the long work hours? DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON. KG Sodie had some good advice here. Do more things, even very simple things, together. 6. Never underestimate the power of simple gestures to a Russian woman..... or any woman for that matter. Most Russian women like being presented with flowers. Every couple of weeks or so, buy a small $7 - $10 boquet at your local supermarket. Tell her frequently that you love her and that she is a "smoking-hot" babe. From your past posts, it sounds like she truly blossomed as a woman during the interim when you first met her and when she came to you in the USA. She got lots and lots of male attention it sounds like. Give her lots of compliments. Lay it on thick. What might seem a "bit much" to an american woman probably just barely scratches the surface with her. OK...... that's probably more than enough for now. Good Luck Buck Divorced after 23 years, now married to a lovely Russian woman now almost 4 years, waiting for AOS and 10 year green card ( 11 months and 18 days) like Buck one of those attorneys that everyone loves to hate. Perhaps a thread on favorite attorney jokes for those who have used an immigration atty. for assistance? Anyhow for my two cents, adopt some Russian practices like taking your shoes off when you enter your house, apt. whatever. Find a Russian store in your neighborhood and shop together there. Not one close? Drive to the store, it will be a wonderful shared experience. Old friends common to my former wife dropped like flies, and I as others became my wife's sole focus. Admire the way she dresses up even though you ar just going to wal mart, and dress up some, not a coat and tie but some nice clothes to show how much you appreciate your wife's appearance, and to compliment her for doing the same. I would suggest never letting her lose sight of the dress code in Russia, and encourage her to always look her best when she goes out, because they always do. My wife has gone back to school and to brag on her a little, has mande the dean's list every semester. I tell her Bs are okay but in her mind, not for her. Find as many things in common that you can experience togther. Unfortunately, many of my outside interests don't coincide with what my wife likes, mostly, she like for me to be at home. Hug frequently, and always tell her how much you love her. Her support group of friends and family are a long way away and even with phone cards and internet are not readily accessible. Reading these posts reminds me of many of my shortcomings and if I can remember, will continue to be a more loving and demonstrative husband. It is a very tough transition for both parties. You will hear many times "In Russia we do things differently" and although I don't bite my tongue enough, it is best to not defend our practices, because frankly, they might not be better, or in many instances, worse than Russia. Never run Russia down. It is your wife's home country, and you should be proud of her for her roots, and her upbringing. You will be pleasantly surprised how competitive Russian women are in scholastics, and their desire to do their very best. No employer could ask to find a better more attentive employee that a professional Russian woman, or for that matter, a Russian woman employee. My wife has seen a Russian woman fully embrace the "American" lifestyle, who would not go back to Russia for a visit, and is somewhat disgusted with her. She has seen a good Russian fiancee sent back to Russia, and this dismays her to a degree. It was important for my wife to be married in a Russian Orthodox church and i was glad to accomdate her. After all this verbage, you will never be sorry you married a Russian woman after comparing your Russian wife to the selection we have here in the states. They are truly a pearl without price, and are caring, compassionate, and very attentive to their husband's needs. Best of luck to all. Sounds like you hit the jackpot with your Russian wife. Congratulations. Your essay is well stated and good advice for us lucky guys who found our dream Russian woman. Your words have a touch of the poetic too. Nicely done. Your story sounds similar to mine. I was married for 22 years to an American woman. I've been looking for an FSU bride for about 4 years and I married my wife last year in Russia. We're waiting for that allusive CR-1 visa to be coughed up from Uncle Sam's belly. I did not know time could move this slowly! My only issue with your piece is it's too all inclusive and, of course, not all Russian women are the same. There are regional differences and personality differences and so forth. There are the city girls and the village girls...often with different views of the world and how to be a wife. And for all the "gold" we can attribute to the Russian woman, they, like us all, have a shadow side. i think some of them have money issues and are somewhat materialistic...but maybe for understandable reasons. Some have an over-active mothering instinct which I find annoying at times. Some Russian women have "father issues" from being abandoned or mistreated by their alcoholic or shiftless dads. And many Russian women have had lousy marriages to Russian men...often more than one. I've seen these issues show up as anger, and it's tricky to dance with that energy sometimes...especially to stay grounded and not return the anger. Some of us American men may ultimately have to deal with these deeper issues in some form or another down the road. And, personally, I've dated a few Russian women I'd just as soon forget and who were unpleasant to be around. But the essence of what you outline in your essay is accurate when it comes to my Russian wife...thank goodness! I also hit the jackpot. First my congratulations! It is tough to go from one relationship to another, especially if you have developed a comfort zone in your prior relationship as to the way you lead your life. Nothing prepares you for the new bride. As you stated a difference of rural urban attititudes, my wife comes from a large city and thinks my city of 1,000,000 plus is a village. She hates the fact that there is no downtown night life etc. The other Russian I dated was from a small city and markedly different. And I think that it is tough to generalize, and we can only speak form the perspective of our experience, and mine bleesedly was short. As I think of tother tidbits that come to the forefront of my current relationship I will pass them on, they probably do not apply to all or even any, but give a foretaste perhaps of what is to come. Russian TV helps keep that touch to the Rodina, but no Russian soil, no birch or pine trees start to weigh heavily after awhile. I wish we could just wave a magic wand and presto chango we would acclimate our brides to the new world, unfortunately or perhaps even fortunately that doesn't happen and we are probably the better for it. I would say that the one thing I notice the most is homesickness. There are quite a few Russian women here, and they seem to be coping well, some are brides some stayed over and married after college, but you do hear a few rumblings about the states and Americans in general. My wife was shocked to see a woman going to a chain restaurant in warmups, but to me, I saw nothing unusual.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-03-12 18:32:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Cats?	QUOTE (shikarnov @ Jan 17 2008, 10:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Thanks to everybody for their replies so far... And thanks for that PDF from New York State... Are there any attorneys, law students, or just people well versed in legalese around that can decode this? QUOTE So speaketh NY Dept of Agriculture & Markets: -- § 65.5 Dogs or cats exempt from the health certificate requirement. Dogs or cats passing through the State of New York to points beyond, dogs or cats which are brought into the State of New York for temporary residence for purposes of exhibition, and dogs or cats which enter the State of New York for delivery to research institutions, dealers or other persons registered or licensed and regulated by the United States Department of Agriculture pursuant to the provisions of U.S. Public Law 89-544, as amended, are exempt from the provisions of this Part, provided that such dogs or cats are at all times properly restrained and under the immediate control of the owner or custodian; that such dogs or cats are accompanied with proof of proper immunization against rabies: and that those dogs or cats entering the State of New York pursuant to U.S. Public Law 89-544, as amended, remain subject to its provisions.. Does this mean, since I'm not a NY resident, that I don't have to jump through the health certificate hoops (getting it, then getting it translated, then getting it notarized, mailing a copy to the Animal Industry director, etc) since my cat will obviously be living with me outside NY? Does landing at JFK and then hitching a ride with a friend to Massachusetts count as "passing through the State of NY to points beyond?" If so, do you think the customs agent will be so well versed about the law? Think they'll get pissed if I have all the laws printed out in front of me just in case they give me a hard time? And, while I'd love to leave the cat here in Russia, I just can't do it. Ira's family has some strange ideas regarding the care of cats (eg, the cats fend for themselves), and since the cat is declawed, I'm pretty confident that leaving him behind will be a death sentence. My cat, while Russian born, is most definitely a pampered American. He wouldn't have a clue how to hunt for food, defend himself, or any other skills he'd need being an outdoor cat. And nevermind the expense of feeding him, buying litter for him, taking him to the vet. I could never ask people who work twice more than I do, and earn 20 times less, to take on that kind of burden... Besides all that, I'd miss the little guy sleeping on my lap while I work every day. Nope, that cat's got to come with me. Z My wife brought her cat from the Urals no problem. I think she flew into Atlanta and I met her there, long time ago and memory escapes. She flew Delta and used the Delta carrier, a soft sided affair, and once in the air, she slips the cat out of the carrier and puts it under a blanket on her lap. We have flown back to Russia with the cat and back, using the same technique every time. As to the New York requirements on pets, most states cannot interefere with any interstate movement whether cargo or people or impose local rules on transient cargo or people. That is why the statute cited makes exceptions for animals in transit via the state of New York. Not being a New York lawyer I cannot give you any more certainty than this, but having a copy of the statute you posted on VJ and the applicable federal regs will do no harm. Also, I remember we had to have an international health certificate from USDA to fly our cat overseas, and receive something similar once in Russia. They had a vet in the airport in Russia, a few rubles, a discussion about meeting American men online, the hazards of internet connections, a lunch in a Armenian restaurant and our paperwork was all done (if I remember correctly in the restaurant as we ate). Some concerns about your Russian cat diet, our cat is old, and my wife put her on Royal Canin while in Russia, and we fed her (that is the cat) the same for awhile once the cat arrived here. Now she eats some vet food from Petsmart which also has Royal Canin. Enjoy the visa ride it wil be frustrating but at the same time thrilling as you make headway.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-02-21 09:02:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Letter from bank officer	QUOTE (mox @ Mar 8 2008, 09:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (Kazan @ Mar 8 2008, 04:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I know what you mean. I know when Alla gets here my posting will be few and far between! (Hey, I think we can all admit, its more to pass the time until our ladies get here!) Glad you like the current headgear. You have already guessed our next look. Keep a look out as soon as 17 March passes! I expect to be pretty scarce for a couple weeks when she gets here, but I do get to post from work so I'm sure you won't be rid of me that easily. I'll register my unhappiness with the lack of "International Women's Day" bonnets one last time, and move on. I'm eagerly awaiting the "Southern Belle's Month" (April) wigs and bustiers though. Oh yeah cotillion wear, that's Southern Belle, and how to teach a Russian woman how to drawl, I guess they have a head start with that rolled rrrr.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-03-09 13:53:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Letter from bank officer	QUOTE (mox @ Mar 7 2008, 01:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I know this question has been asked before, and I know the prevailing answer for my situation is "you don't need a bank statement if your income exceeds 125% of the poverty guidelines." However, I have not yet seen an answer that satisfies me completely, due to the wording of the I-134 instructions. I've pasted the relevant portion of the instructions below: II. Supporting Evidence As the sponsor, you must show you have sufficient income and/or financial resources to assure that the alien you are sponsoring will not become a public charge while in the United States. Evidence should consist of copies of any or all of the following documentation listed below that are applicable to your situation. Failure to provide evidence of sufficient income and/or financial resources may result in the denial of the alien's application for a visa or his or her removal from the United States. The sponsor must submit in duplicate evidence of income and resources, as appropriate: A. Statement from an officer of the bank or other financial institutions where you have deposits, identifying the following details regarding your account: 1. Date account opened; 2. Total amount deposited for the past year; 3. Present balance. B. Statement of your employer on business stationery, revealing: 1. Date and nature of employment; 2. Salary paid; 3. Whether the position is temporary or permanent. ... I've underlined 2 relevant portions of my concern. The first underline seems to be straightforward. Basically look at the list below and pick the evidence that meets your situation. Based on that, it seems as if I can get away with an employer letter (and pay stubs, although that is curiously not in the instructions). It's the second underline I'm having a problem understanding. What does it mean that I need to submit "in duplicate?" Does that mean 2 copies of the employer letter, or that I need to supply 2 different methods of verifying my income? Since item C (not quoted above) is for self-employed people and doesn't apply to me, and item D (also not quoted) doesn't apply either, then if they're saying I need to provide 2 different methods of verifying my income, I really only have the Bank Officer letter as a second option. Anyone care to shed some light on this? I do appreciate responses like "I didn't send a bank statement and we were approved," but I guess what I'm really looking for is some justification. And the reason I'm asking is because I went to my bank the other day to get a letter, and even though I had a sample letter with me, they all looked at me like a deer in the headlights and finally decided the guy who had the authority to do that was out for the day. I'd like to avoid that again if I can justify in my own mind that it's not necessary. I did both, made copies of both and submitted. Better to give them too much than too little.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-03-07 12:43:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Do this on my own or Hire an attorney	QUOTE (Satellite @ Mar 1 2008, 01:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (mox @ Mar 1 2008, 07:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Do I have to pay an extra $455 for her or is it included with the mother? You only have to pay another $455 if later you decide that the daughter is actually your fiancée and not the mother Way too funny! Don't let your sense of humor get you in trouble in the courtroom, judges have no sense of humor unless they are making the jokes, usually at your client's expense. As to the fellow asking if he should hire an attorney, ixnay, rely on the advice, samples forms and posts here and you do fine. Most of the folks who use this forum do NOT rely on attorneys, probably because of their independent nature, and unwillingness to part with the dollars for something they can do themselves. This ain't rocket science, just post questions you have here, and someone who has gone through the same process as you can and will reply. Good luck!	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-03-03 17:51:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Happy St. Patrick's Day	QUOTE (mox @ Mar 17 2008, 01:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> - What do you call a skydiving attorney? Skeet. - How many lawyer jokes are there? Just one. The rest are true. - How do lawyers sleep? First they lie on one side, then the other. - What do you have when you have a lawyer up to his neck in dirt? Not enough dirt. Great!! Keep them coming!! Other Jeff where the heck are your jokes? What do you call a bus with a load of attorneys that runs off a road and all are killed? A tragedy. Why? Because there were two empty seats on the bus!	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-03-17 17:01:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	Happy St. Patrick's Day	QUOTE (mox @ Mar 17 2008, 12:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> A Russian engineer, an American engineer, and an Irish engineer are at a pub in...oh hell it's the Russian forum so we'll say St. Pete. "Russia was the first in space!" the Russian says, and throws back a shot of vodka as the locals cheer. "Yeah but America was first on the moon!" the American says, and takes a swig of his Budweiser. (it's the only pub in St. Pete with Bud. On tap. Work with me here.) They both look smugly at the Irishman, who drains his Guinness and plonks the empty glass down on the table. "Whaddyer lookin' at mates? We're gonna be the first on the sun!" "Madness!" the American exclaims. "You would burn up before you even got close!" the Russian snorts. The Irishman laughs and replies, "We're not stupid you know. We're going at night." TOO Funny! Since I didn't get a response on another thread for attorney jokes, allow me to impose this one on you, I haven't heard better in 20 years! 3 Surgeons are comparing patients, the first surgeon, somewhat the surgeon emeritus in the area proclaimed that his best patients are of German descent, never a post operative complication. The second surgeon, although he hasn't been cutting as long, shook his head and stated that Japanese patients are the best, you open them up and they are color coded, yellow to yellow, red to red, green to green blue to blue, you can never screw up a Japanese patient unless you are color blind. The third surgeon looked smugly at the other two, and proclaimed his favorite patients are attorneys. The other two looked at him somewhat aghast, and blamed his lack of information on the fact that he just completed his residency. The older of the surgeons proclained "Why on earth would you ever choose these folks as patients, they are the most litiguous people on the planet?" The young resident explained, "Its easy, they only have two moving parts their mouths and their rectums, and on attorneys they (the body parts) are both interchangeable!" Please feel free to add your favortite attorney joke as I am fresh out of material, and see the low esteem attorneys are held in this forum (myself included).	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-03-17 12:51:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	What's your favorite Russian Food?	QUOTE (slim @ Mar 18 2008, 10:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (jsouthwick @ Mar 17 2008, 02:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Agree wholehearedly, but to really appreciate the culinary possiilities of Tabasco you must visit Avery Island, La. and purchase General McIllheney's recipe book for Tabasco. The first thing that hits you on Avery Island is the pungent aroma of Tabasco, your eyes water, you sneeze, and think you have died and gone to heaven. Whatta you do, work there? Sounds like the promotional video or something. (Can't wait to go someday! My pastor gave a sermon on Tabasco some 15 years ago, and since then, Avery Island, La. has been on my "to do" list.) And as far as really appreciating the culinary possibilities of Tabasco, I've eaten many a meal in a foxhole and the only thing making all of them "culinary" was the sweet smell of Avery Island. There's kind of a running joke around the military when civilians ask what MREs (military food in pouches) taste like, there's only one answer even though there are several different kinds of meals. "They all taste like Tabasco." The urban legend is that some Tabasco company exec. a long time ago petitioned the DoD to put the little bottles of Tabasco in the MREs, for FREE! Seems they have a whole dept. that strictly bottles Tabasco in little tiny single-serving bottles strictly for military use. I don't know if the backstory is true, but I can confirm they're in there. And I'm glad they are! Thank you Mr. Tabasco company exec. I am not a rep. for the company but have enjoyed morning eggs cooked any way with tabasco for 45 years, even melted butter with tabasco and poured on popcorn. Haven't got up to tabasco on ice cream though. Went to grad school at Tulane. Classmate was a McIllheny descendant and got me a tour. Olafactory overload. I think Marine General McIllheny fought on Guadacanal, and instituted the Tabasco in K-Rats (dates me doesn't it no new fangled MREs back in the day) for Korea in teeny tiny bottles, perhaps even in OD. Write the family a letter thanking them and your desire to do so in person, you'll probably get an invite to the plant, and lunch at the company store. if you have never been to cajun country bring an appetite. You can google search General McIllheney, think his first name was Walter. He lived on Avery Island after service retirement, and was a big game hunter in his spare time. There is a book out on him, and if you read historical fiction, WEB Griffin's series of novels on the Marine Corps gives some mention to him. And Tabasco is sold in Russia at my wife's neighborhood store, all the comforts of home except warm weather.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-03-21 01:51:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	What's your favorite Russian Food?	QUOTE (slim @ Mar 17 2008, 09:02 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> As long as you put Tabasco on it, it's edible. Agree wholehearedly, but to really appreciate the culinary possiilities of Tabasco you must visit Avery Island, La. and purchase General McIllheney's recipe book for Tabasco. The first thing that hits you on Avery Island is the pungent aroma of Tabasco, your eyes water, you sneeze, and think you have died and gone to heaven.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-03-17 13:03:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	What's your favorite Russian Food?	QUOTE (irish44 @ Mar 14 2008, 09:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I thought that the Seafood I had there was fantastic. However, one might want to be careful about the "Atlantic Net-Caught Herring" that comes in cans. I know in the US there is an occasional thumb or molar found inside frozen Burrito's, but seeing this picture made me swallow hard a couple of times. I will offer a free trip for two to Las Vegas to anyone who can identify the type of Herring seen in this can. And yes, to qualify for the trip you must also participate in a 5 hour timeshare presentation. The fish is a Karpa of course, favored by many Russians, and obvious a surprise bonus to this buyer of canned net caught herring. Actually can't stand Karpa too many small bones and I was always brught up with the thought that carp were a trash fish, but the next time you go bonkers over channel catfish remember what they eat. Myself, Pelmeni with a sweet mustard does the trick, the rest I have no love for although my wife cooks it all the time, although the Russian salad with boiled meat, pickles and onions is tasty.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-03-17 12:59:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	My wife left me!	QUOTE (slim @ Mar 27 2008, 01:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> How did we ever have scandals before news was "fair and balanced"??? With interns and well placed cigars of course!	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-03-28 00:34:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	My wife left me!	QUOTE (mox @ Feb 28 2008, 11:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> So...there are some people who think that if you have syphilis, you should have to tell your spouse/fiance(e)? Hey I just figure that's none of her business. Come on you farmboys, explain what "stump broke" is to the uninitiated. They won't know who you are. Perhaps I am aware of it from living too close to the Texas border, and while you are at it why don't some of you Texans explain why a beautiful language like Spanish was butchered when it came to the pronunciation of Llano or San Jacinto?	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-02-28 13:35:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	My wife left me!	QUOTE (Bobalouie @ Feb 27 2008, 11:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (mox @ Feb 27 2008, 07:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> QUOTE (Bobalouie @ Feb 27 2008, 05:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Yes, but you must be talking about NATIVE Texans....otherwise you are generalizing about a man (whos sperm may or may not be wanker) from California and a woman from Brazil (who may or may not have a wanker egg) who only HAPPEN to live in Texas. Lets assume that they do not have Wanker problems. Does the childs birth in the state of Texas automatically cause them to be a wanker? No fair biting on my hook Bobalouie, I'm fishin' fer drive-bys! /tosses Bobalouie back in Your making a mistake here mox. I am a damn big fish!!! And a good catch if I say so myself This is more fun than reality TV and getting up there with "High Stakes Poker" Bobalouie are you going to let AKDiver trash talk your fellow Oklahoman Chuck Norris? There is a rumor floating around that the folks at the TSC have to be native Texans, dropped out of high school or did not complete their special ed classes, have a tendency to sleep on the job, get a bonus for not speaking Spanish, and a further bonus if their parents still claim to be brother and sister. Please, please someone start a new post, perhaps about contracting syphillis and whether to tell your spouse about it or not, and certainly not admitting to carousing with amorous farm animals at midnight during a full moon.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-02-28 07:29:00
Russia, Ukraine and Belarus	My wife left me!	QUOTE (mox @ Feb 25 2008, 01:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Well I guess we're not gonna let it die. Dammit, I just hosed off all the mud and put on clean clothes. But hey, I'll jump back in... QUOTE (slim @ Feb 25 2008, 08:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'll jump back into the fray here and (sorry didn't quote everyone) respond first to mox when he posted that I was trying to cover Satellite's responses as simply a cultural thing that we westerners couldn't understand. Not exactly what I meant but close. I'll simply say that when you have a young (pissed off) Russian wife living with you in the States and she does something that wouldn't normally be done in the States, there's not a whole lot you can do to rectify the situation and if you're lucky you can laugh at it. Too bad it has to be at others' expense but when it comes down to it, is it better to have the Russia forum's panties in a bunch or your wife's? And I'm in no way shape or form trying to say that Satellite doesn't understand American culture to the point where he inadvertantly offended everyone, all I'm saying is he avoided being even more in the dog house and he and his wife got to enjoy themselves a little bit. I can dig this. But that's not what's really going on here. Because if that's what was truly going on, Satellite would have come back and just said "sorry folks, my wife hijacked my account, it's not true, nothing to see here." That's all it would have taken. A real apology would have been gravy, but whatevs. I even forgave the "sucker" comment. It stung, it pissed me off, but I swallowed my pride and was prepared to move on. Again, if it was a doghouse scenario, then it would have ended right there. Satellite had the option of just not replying or issuing an apology. I did not ask for nor expect the latter, the former would have been just fine to me. But he went even beyond that, and that's where it became apparent that this was not just a domestic squabble. It might have started that way, but it wound up showing Satellite's true feelings about this community. And hey, he's entitled to his feelings, and unlike some others I think he's even entitled to say what he thinks, up to but not including shouting fire in a theater. In fact, I'd much rather he were crystal clear about his opinions of this membership rather than holding it back. So kudos for that I guess. QUOTE Work. School. Sleep. Trying to squeeze in some "us" time and trying not to piss her off in the mean time. I'm not jumping in on his side saying he's right or wrong, I'm simply saying that if your wife isn't here already and you're not working and going to school (and so is she) then you're probably posting things with a whole lot more emotion and a whole lot more time to type. Also agreed. But again, I think you're reading Satellite's motivations all wrong. Perhaps he can clarify. QUOTE Simply put, once you're Journey switches to "living the Dream" here in the States, you're going to give two-$#!Ts about how the people on VJ feel about you. Sure, it's nice and it's wonderful, but your reality is living under the same roof with you already, and she (and her happiness) takes priority over you stupid blat visa blat journey blat. (That was a direct quote, by the way.) Also agree. In fact, if it ever becomes an issue in my marriage, you can expect an hasta la vista from me, post haste. QUOTE Should Satellite get a free pass for calling people suckers? That's up to you. But if it were up to me, it'd roll right off my back as I did a little more reading on the history of the Mr. and Mrs. Satellite relationship. I know you're skin isn't as thick as mine and you're in a different situation, but try to view this from his situation, not yours! This is actually good advice, and I think a lot of us really did give Satellite a free pass, even after the "sucker" comment. But it also raises a really good point that seanconneryii addressed in a previous post, and that is: if Satellite doesn't give a rats ### what anyone here thinks, why the occasionall forum drama that is seemingly designed to pull our emotional chords? Given recent events it really does seem like Satellite is toying with us. Maybe he could clarify this as well. QUOTE And to close this thread down because of tensions it causes is like telling your wife to go home because the stress she causes. I think the analogy fails, but hell if we want to keep the thread going I'm all for it as long as it continues to be useful discussion. Maybe I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing, although every one of Sat's posts continues to reinforce my perception. The moderators will almost always close a thread at the OP's request, so Satellite need only contact a moderator if he gets tired of us. QUOTE All I'm saying by my posts here is simply this - I like VJ. I like all of you. I genuinely do have feelings for what is said and posted on here. However, my wife and I, and the problems or things that we do in our relationship is going to trump whatever feelings get hurt here on VJ. And when something happens in our "real life" together at home, I could give a d@mn what my "virtual buddies" think about me or her. Can I get you a little nail polish with that Nancy? QUOTE QUOTE (Blues Fairy @ Feb 24 2008, 04:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> And Slim I think you also owe an apology to those Russians here whom you so easily generalized as arrogant and indifferent by definition. So you're going to deny that Russians, by very definition, are arrogant and indifferent? There is a difference between proud and arrogant. The vast majority of Russians I have met are proud. I've met only a few arrogant Russians (some of them *ahem* online). And Russian indifference is just body language. It's kind of the equivalent of the American tendency to "strike a pose" when you feel the need to look cool. Russians are insanely curious, they just don't want to look like they are. However, if you need proof of Russian compassion, I'll direct you to this video. It looks to be a BBC production, but pay attention to the Russian social workers. Some thoughts if I might. Many of you are going through a stressful period of your life, I can empathize as my wife comes from Russia and I haven't been on the forum until our AOS was held up at the TSC. Thought I would come back to VJ to see what is going on with others in my predicament. At this time instead of spending your valuable time berating this fellow and his wife might I suggest that you start preparing for the time your loved one arrives, this country and people are so much different than Russia, and it is going to take some real effort and sacrifices on your part to assist your new spouse in adjusting. Try finding a Russian store in your neighborhood where they can shop for favorite goodies, if they bring children check into the schools and see what the children are going to be faced with language wise. My wife for example is going back to college (difference than in Russia a college is distinctly different than a university), and besides being blessed with excellent English she decide to enroll in a TOEFL class to sharpen her skills. Look to see if you have a Russian Orthodox or Ukranian Orthodox church nearby where your spouse can fellowship with native Russians or Russian speakers. Check out the Russian-American newspaper published in Norman Oklahoma they may give you some assitance in dealing with the problem, check with dish network or direct TV about satellite reception of Russian TV stations, (my wife loves this) be prepared for a long period of adjustment. As the Tiger suggests stop the insanity and get to discussing relevant things like guns, so if you were in a firefight would your preference be a SAW or M60? Don't bring these squabbles here. I have studied the posts of Satellite and he seems to be knowledgable of the law, well versed in immigration law, and folks the California bar is one tough cookie, support him and his Russian bride as best you can and look forward to the day when your Russian is here with you and all this with be forgotten, perhaps remembered with a smile because you know the most important thing is that lady with you. I came to this particular forum to seek common experiences with bringing a Russian spouse to the USA and think that should be your one and only focus. Keep up the good posts ignore the ones that are bothersome to you and you will be much better off supporting each other.	Okiebollweevil	Male	Russia	2008-02-25 13:04:00