biggish data

QUOTE (Astarte @ Apr 22 2009, 11:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

LOL Bridget!

I wanted to add something about my own personal feelings/experience. I love my husband but I wish I didn't. I honestly regret meeting him, going to Egypt, marrying him and bringing him here. He's not a terrible guy but he has complicated my life a lot. I hate saying this about a person but he's been more trouble than he's worth. I know it sounds awful but I like honesty and I'm quite certain there are a few ladies here who feel the same but don't want to publicly admit it or even admit it to themselves. It doesn't necessarily have to do with him being Egyptian or Arab or whatever though that does play a small part. The ideals and IMO "old fashioned" or "traditional" ideas bug me at times. I can't describe it. It's not the religion either because neither of us practice a religion. He's Muslim but he doesn't practice. He doesn't pray or fast or any of it. Neither do I. But it's always there, yanno? His family is religious so he feels obligated to call himself a Muslim. And I feel he fears eternal damnation if he doesn't. I no longer have that fear. Anyhoo, the past two years haven't been easy...at all. He's been here two years. I've known him nearly five years. The visa process took one year total. Like I said, he's not horrible, he's not even bad but I kinda feel stuck. You don't marry someone, make him move to foreign country and then just say, meh I change my mind. You gotta follow through, right? I'm not unhappy. I'm not thrilled but I'm not unhappy. I make my own happiness though. I don't expect him to make me happy. Anyways, the visa process, the uncertainty, the adjustment, the finding a job, the culture clashes, the miscommunication/misunderstanding, the wanting to live up your #######, the (at times) controlling nature...it's all a bit much. Too much breaking in, too much hand holding (not literal holding of hands)...a child doesn't even require that much hand holding. Basically, as a wise woman told me, importing a husband is the same as adopting a retarded toddler. It's exhausting. So that's my story. It probably sounds worse than it really is.

I know the sappy, lovey dovey stories will follow and make me look like a chump. That's cool but I know it's not all a bed of roses. Just different levels of frustration.

I have thought about all of that, and I am sure it is tough. Thanks for your honesty.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-04-22 11:29:00

[quote name='Astarte' date='Apr 22 2009, 11:17 AM' post='2862881']
Look don't let the fraud thing get you upset. It's just a heads up to let you know it's out there and it happens quite a bit. Not to scare you but if you go back and read old posts on the mid east forum and the effects forum you will see some horrific stuff. It's good to be aware though. It's always a good idea to check things out as much as possible. Maybe it's not so easy to find out things about a man who lives half the world away but there are questions you can ask. Do you know where he lives exactly? Do you know about his family...names, certain details, etc. Is he elusive at all..meaning does he tell you not to call him or has he kept you a secret? If you go to Egypt, will he intro you to his family or will you be staying in a flat/hotel away from them? How soon did he talk about marriage? How much does he know about the visa process? Does he have lots of friends who have gotten or have filed for a visa? Do his stories add up? Does anything seem off? Anything? Does he have family in the states (not necessarily a red flag though)? Does he ever ask for money or even hint at needing money? You get the picture. Just be really cautious. Take your time and be really sure about why you want to marry him? Ask yourself, is this infatuation? is this a sexual thing? Do you really picture yourself being with him long term? We all get caught up in emotions and infatuation...just be sure you really want to do this. It's a long, difficult, painful process esp. with Egypt. Do you have the fortitude to handle it? Does he? Just be really sure. I know so many ppl who go through this then the guy gets here and things aren't like the dream and it's hard adjusting for both parties. Remember it's not a puppy you can return to the pound if he pees or poopoos on the floor. You know what I mean. Not trying to compare the man with a dog but you get the point, right?

Thank you for the info! I will go back and read those threads.
OK, this check list is more for me, but here goes.
I do know exactly where he lives, we exchange mail, pictures and cards. I know his family is in Alexandria, I know what they do for a living, I know his brother and sisters names, dont remember his mom and dad name. No, he does not seem elusive, I call him at all times day and night as well he calls me. Yes, he wants me to meet his family when I come there. He was at his families home yesterday and they all said hi to me over the phone, so I dont think I am a secret. He does not know squat about the visa process, is this good or bad? He did have one friend who married and American woman and moved here. No family in USA. He has never asked me for money, he said we would buy my plane ticket he does not want me to spend any money. And yes, I see myself with him for a very very long time, I know it sounds crazy since we have never met, but I have feelings for him I never even had for my husband.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-04-22 10:54:00

QUOTE (Melly 2 @ Apr 22 2009, 09:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Before making my first trip to Egypt, a couple of friends of mine were very concerned that I might not know my then fiance (now husband) well enough and one of them, who has family here in Egypt, wanted to check up on him.
I didn't feel that great about doing it, but I let her have his address and a friend of her brothers went to my fiance's apartment and asked around (neighbors) about the family to find out about them in general.
I guess the answer that she got was satisfactory. lol

Unless you know someone who can corroborate information or do some general checking here, I'm not sure how you could find out.
I wouldn't bother wasting any money on a private investigator without knowing the investigator personally.

You think your friend whats to investigate for me? He is in Cairo. LOL

QUOTE (humpkinpumpkin @ Apr 22 2009, 11:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Astarte @ Apr 22 2009, 11:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Remember it's not a puppy you can return to the pound if he pees or poopoos on the floor.

would be awesome if we could crate them for the first few months though so they don't get into all that much trouble like washing dishes with Bath and Body works shower gel, squeeging the bathroom floor, kissing babies that they don't know, ....oh i could go on. lol

OMG, too funny!!!!!!

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-04-22 10:45:00

What is a paper marriage? I have seen it mentioned several times.
Thanks for the heads up on the fraud things, I like to think I am not being niave. I talk to him online/webcam for several hours a night and some IM's during the day as well as text and calls, so I hope I am getting to know him. Of course, my judgement has not been the best on some occassions,(ex-husband), but hey, if this is fraud it sure does feel good. LOL Ok, seriously, now my mind is going 100 different directions, if, just if, I wanted, how would I find out anything about someone in another country? I really dont feel that is neccessary, but just in case.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-04-22 08:31:00

QUOTE (Astarte @ Apr 21 2009, 05:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So now I'm a dream crusher. Because I don't agree that *chatting* online (for 3 months) with a man from a high fraud, mid eastern country should be considered something as serious as an engagement? I realize that "technically" you can be engaged to someone you barely know. Technically.

I know I should break out the pom poms for every reckless, irresponsible thing some ppl do around here but that's not me. This is public, I can give my opinion no matter how unpopular. I will not stifle myself or blindly support in order to "fit in". I haven't insulted anyone, I stated my opinion. Perhaps I worded it wrong. Perhaps I wasn't TECHNICAL enough. We're not all as perfect as you. It must be so hard to be so perfect. I realize that you take offense to comments about particular subjects that you yourself were involved with. It's a damn good thing I didn't suggest skerber do a paper marriage so she could "legally" shack up while filing a k1. That would be HIGHLY offensive to some.

At any rate...no offense to you skerber, I'm a little harsh in my opinions sometimes. It's your life, live it as you see fit.

QUOTE (UmmSqueakster @ Apr 21 2009, 09:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm sorry, were we suppose to give a standing ovation for your attempt at dream crushing? Yes, people CAN get engaged without having met. Is it wise? That is debatable. If you come in here to crush dreams with a silly untrue one liner, what exactly do you expect?

man from a high fraud, mid eastern country - OK, now I am sure I will get it, but I have to ask. Huh? A high fraud country? Maybe I am naive...............

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-04-21 17:04:00

QUOTE (hollykay @ Apr 21 2009, 10:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Together4ever @ Feb 7 2007, 02:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yeah... ok... so what's up with those sideburns?

I love my husband's facial hair.

I dont know what he looked like before, but that looks nice.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-04-21 11:36:00

I dont think it is crazy to know each other for 3 months before wanting to marry. Heck, I knew I wanted to marry him almost from the first time we spoke. But that is my opinion, I am not looking for anyones approval so no worries here. But there are lots of places where people marry before they even meet, so I dunno. Anywho, like I said no worries here, everyone has an opinion. I am just thrilled I found this site with so many people going thru the same thing. Thank you to all for the welcome.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-04-21 08:30:00

QUOTE (Astarte @ Apr 20 2009, 03:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You can't be engaged if you've never met.

Welcome.

QUOTE (skerber0 @ Apr 20 2009, 02:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hi, I am pretty new to the site, but my fiance is an Egyptian. We are just starting our journey, been 'dating' 3 months, not yet to meet in person. Hopefully we will in August.
So, hello all!

I do believe engaged is a plan to get married and that is our plan, so yes we are engaged. but thanks for the warm welcome.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-04-20 16:15:00

Hi, I am pretty new to the site, but my fiance is an Egyptian. We are just starting our journey, been 'dating' 3 months, not yet to meet in person. Hopefully we will in August.
So, hello all!

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-04-20 13:47:00

Egypt to Quarantine Tourist for H1N1 virus if WHO raises level to level 6

I hope you will be able to go, I will say a prayer for you

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-05-04 08:38:00

Vaccinations

Sadly I will only be staying 10 days.

Thanks for the info ladies.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-05-13 08:49:00

Vaccinations

Anyone know if you have to get different vaccinations before going to Egypt? Thanks

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-05-12 13:00:00

Thursday in MENA

Good morning.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-04-30 09:26:00

QUOTE (Ihavequestions @ May 21 2009, 03:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (humpkinpumpkin @ May 21 2009, 12:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I honestly think that we got sick because they don't really pay much attention to how long food is sitting out in the heat.

That's because almost all of it sits out in the heat; very little is refrigerated. Milk? Nope. It comes hot, in a box, or out of a vat that has to be boiled. Eggs? Those are sitting on the floor in front of the refrigerated case of the one or two types of cheeses that are actually refrigerated (you don't want to know the process the cheese hanging in the bags goes through) and yogurt. Meat? That's fresh off of the carcass, hanging on the hook outside of the butcher shops. Fish? Peel off the layer of black flies and you'll find it? Same goes for produce this time of year - it's all slathered with black flies.

Yep, mosquitoes ... flies ... ants ... roaches (big and small), we've got it all here. This, after all, is Africa.

What we don't have birds to eat the insects. The cats roaming everywhere would have a bug-eating bird swallowed up in no time. If a pigeon happened to fly too low it might just end up on someone's dinner table.

It's definately summer.

OMG!! Too funny!

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-05-21 15:32:00

Wow, maybe I should wait till, what Nov?

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-05-20 21:41:00

Spray vinegar on yourself. the smell will go away, but the mosquitos dont like the taste. i have also heard using Basil leaves, rubbing them on yourself.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-05-20 08:58:00

I am no help since I have never been to Egypt, but just wanted to say I will be going the same time you are.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-05-19 10:15:00

Caturday in Cario

I am sorry you are so sick, I hope things settle down for you soon.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-05-30 08:29:00

Wedding celebration details in Cairo for those that want to attend!!!

Wow, you look wonderful! I know I dont even know you, but I am so happy for you both! I cant wait to hear all about your trip and see more photos! congratulations!

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-05-26 13:26:00

Wedding celebration details in Cairo for those that want to attend!!!

That all sounds and looks so beautiful! Congratulations! Hopefully we can see pictures. I know I am still new here but I would come if I were there, but I wont be there till next month.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-05-14 09:21:00

MENA women question for you.

KHPerfectMatch, thank you for that advise! I will for sure be getting those wipes!

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-05 08:42:00

MENA women question for you.

oh my, you ladies have me laughing! But not worried! I am going to be in Egypt, (1st trip), what will I do with my toilet paper? Put it in the trash can? Even after #2? ewwwww. Really?

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-03 14:38:00

Where is everyone located??

Caybee, Sweet Peach and mrsAmera- we are all not too far from each other, we should plan a meet sometime. I am just outside of Charlotte, NC.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-11 08:27:00

Where is everyone located??

I am not close to anyone it looks like. I am in North Carolina.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-09 15:08:00

QUOTE (100% Al Ahly Fan @ Jun 11 2009, 09:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (skerber0 @ Jun 11 2009, 08:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

OMG, rclouse. LOL

Ok, so Teto told me to please not spend any money on his family with gifts that the next time I come it is ok to bring something, but not this time. ??? I dunno. You think they would be offended if I did not take gifts?

DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM!!!! You gotta bring something. Everyone LOVES gifts! My husband always tell me this. "Don't bring anything...just you", I never listen.

Someone mentioned OTC medication. I think this is a great idea. They have different meds in Egypt. Simple, cold medicine is a big hit. Whenever Ahmed get's sick, he is convinced it's the flu, truly he has no idea what the flu REALLY is.

For my SIL, I too, brought bodywash, lotions, hair color, some cute tops and make up. Oh and a purses...she loves them. Which I don't know why, cause I have seen some SUPER cute (fake of course) purses in Egypt.

I always bring things to represent the Twin Cities or Minneapolis/St. Paul. Keychains, magnets, t-shirts/jerseys.

Just make sure you bring something. You can't go empty handed.

That is what I was thinking.

OK, so several people have said chocolate, but wont the chocolate melt on the plane?

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-11 09:36:00

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-11 08:32:00

QUOTE (Nawal @ Jun 5 2009, 01:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

First, yes, I bring gifts for everyone. My SIL is married w/ one kid and I always buy for her hubby and her son too.

I typically bring funky cool tshirts (you can get them @ target or marshalls) for the boys. I have found ones w/ "fake" ties on them, old cartoon characters, funky hip/hop stuff and they boys love it! Also, any cool caps/hats.

As mentioned above and I do it as well:

*Chocolates from here (typically they only like milk chocolate since dark is not what they are used too..my SIL's face said it all!

) Even hersheys makes a "special" select bag and you can buy in quanity from Costco/Sam's Club/BJ's whatever is close to you.

*Gum--Orbit is a huge hit the cases they sell at Costco are awesome and everyone goes nuts to get some. Their gum there sucks eggs!

*Oil of Old Lady (Oil of Olay)..any kind gets my MIL and the aunts excited. You can buy in bulk again at Costco!

I think they have a 3 pack there.

*Lipstick or any fun makeup type kits...the kind they sell at the holidays but you can find them online and one place I love to order (the girls love the stuff from them) is www.eyeslipsface.com

*Perfume for my MIL. She actually prefers the body sprays we have here. It's hard to find them there plus the scents are HORRIBLE smelling and crappy...You can find those in CVS, Walgreens or Target, etc.

*Kids: Depending on ages. Fun cartoon tshirts, musical toys (fisher price for younger). Costco has great infant outfits and toddler. Or target, marshalls has funky fun kids things too. The toys I found at target. I picked up a cute "toy" cellphone for my nephew. He loved it so much he slept with it every night...

(spiderman of course!)

*Jewelry: Cool silver hoops, bangle bracelets the young girls loved. And the middle of the road gold necklaces are a special gift too!

Hope that helps!! Have a blast and you might need a suitcase just for gifts!!!

I love ELF! Great idea, thanks!

Thanks again everyone! It is very hard to buy for people you have never met. uggg

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-05 12:46:00

Thanks for the ideas, keep em coming.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-05 11:18:00

I will be going to Egypt in about 4 weeks. I have no idea what kind of gifts to take to his family. And I assume I take a gift to everyone, including his brothers and sister. His sister is married with 3 children. Do I take something to her husband and children as well? Suggestions please?? Thank you all!

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-05 09:06:00

Will they let me in Egypt now?

I know there was talk before about this. Anyone hear anything about this? As far as traveling?

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-11 09:33:00

Thursday

Good morning. I am working today. I too wish I was in the bed sleeping, I was up till 2am. yikes!

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-11 08:23:00

Did you get all the CDC recommended shots?

thank you all ladies!

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-15 09:28:00

Did you get all the CDC recommended shots?

I looked on the CDC website and they recommend the Hep A shot, how many of you got it when you were going to Egypt?

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-12 10:42:00

Tatoo Discussion

QUOTE (jessNgeorges @ Jun 11 2009, 04:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have my nose pierced. I got it done the first time in Feb 2005, but i got an abcess and took it out. I got it done same side and all Sept 2006. I love my nose ring, and When i had my gallbladder out i had to take it out and first order of business when they brought me back to recovery was trying to get my nose ring back on....couldnt get it in after 2 hrs! grrr....i cried. i tried daily to keep it open with a clean earring until i could get a new ring that was thinner. Finally Christmas day i got a nose ring back in and i was sooooooooo happy!!!

I had my tongue done too but it ripped after 3wks so the dr at the ER told me i needed to take it out or id lose part of my tongue. So that came out and i never got it redone.

OUCH!!!!

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-11 17:44:00

Tatoo Discussion

I have one tattoo I got 20 years ago, and yes placement does matter. When I got it well, it was a rose, after having twins, it is now a bouquet! not soooo attractive. Oh well, I am not getting anymore and he has none.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-11 08:20:00

QUOTE (~Flower~ @ Jun 19 2009, 06:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Are you staying a long time or a short time?

Since we were just discussing it in the daily thread just thought I'd add it here. Bring your *poker face*.

Everytime I say it I think of that song by Lady GaGa.

It will be a short visit.

I have not yet read the daily, will go do that now.

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-22 09:11:00

QUOTE (KHPerfectMatch @ Jun 16 2009, 01:30 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Here's a few links to what I'm suggesting...

http://www4.jcpenney...=EXTERNAL|51411

http://www.sears.com...A8033000P?mv=rr

http://tropi-ties.st...shnewfor20.html

You know I was looking at one the other day, thinking that would be perfect. I think i will go back and get it. Thank you!

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-16 08:14:00

QUOTE (Sandra/Ahmed @ Jun 15 2009, 11:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (jamall @ Jun 15 2009, 09:38 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Make sure check with the health department for any vaccination you my need??

No shot requirements from USC going to Egypt, some other countries they require some shots but not the states. Things I would think of taking first on my list is adapters and converters for electrical depending on what your taking in that area. I usually take my labtop and it self converts just needs the adaptor so my husband and I can watch some of the latest movies that havent reached Egypt yet, I put those on a sim card and take them. Of course great walking shoes, proper clothing attire, depending on where your going. Out of respect for my husband and his family I dont wear sleeveless shirts or shirts, unless were in Hurghada or Sharm El Sheikh.
And yes as soon as you get off your plane head to the bank exchange near the customs border and you will pay 15.00 in cash only for your visa. I usually exchange around 200.00 there at that time if I don't already have money from last time with me. My first trip there I packed to much stuff, after the fourth time there my load has lightened.

Have fun on your trip I will be comming soon after toward the end of July, I just came from Miami florida last night after a four day trip so need to work and get back to swing of things today, then I will be ready to go in another month.

I get my visa at the customs border? I guess I do all those things right after getting off the plane correct? Before I see him? Or will he be with me and be able to walk me around? And I do plan on wearing long sleeves etc while I am there, but I am having a terrible time finding any light weight long sleeves right now? uggg

QUOTE (amysaid @ Jun 15 2009, 01:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

insect repellant, sunscreen, pepto, tylenol, tampons (if you use them), razors and shaving gel (unless you want the halawa experience), electrical adaptors like someone else mentioned...

uhhh, what is that?

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-15 13:30:00

OK, we just decide last week that I would go to Egypt on June 27th. I was going to go in July, but I have way too many things going on that I wont be able to get away for a week, soooo I am going the 27th. So, now I am trying to think of everything I have to do and thing to take etc. Help, what all do I need?
Passport-got that
visa-I get that at the airport in Egypt right?
gifts-still have to get

sassysis

Female

Egypt

2009-06-15 09:33:00