biggish data

Arguments About Sending Money Back Home?

I just want to hear from people's experience concerning this topic...

I'm actually Fil-Am, so my experience is a little different coming from my perspective compared to an American marrying their fiancee and realizing later that you did not just marry her, but she also came with a family that needs support. My experience started with my parents sending money back home. My siblings and I grew up rather quickly and realized at an early age that if we wanted something in life that we had to work hard for it. I just find it perplexing that my parents instilled this in us, but at the same time would willingly send money to their siblings in The Philippines. I would understand if they were sending them to college to better themselves, but 30 years later they are still sending money to not only support their siblings, but now their siblings' kids and even grand kids.

I even find it hard to understand why my parents would send money to their siblings who made bad decisions in their lives, but would not send money to their few siblings who actually made something out of themselves. It's like there's a reward for failure. I wouldn't mind all this, if it wasn't affecting our home life growing up. My siblings had to sacrifice a lot. It may sound petty, but we learn Santa didn't exist at an early age, when you make a list for Christmas and never get anything on it. Mom had to send money to all her siblings for Christmas, so they can have "something to eat." While their kids didn't care anymore for Christmas, because what's the point of hoping, when you're not going to get anything besides towels and socks. My parents sacrifice a lot for their family in The Philippines, but it does affect your kids if there's no balance. You don't pressure your kids to get scholarships because you didn't bother to save for their college education or send them on a guilt trip and ask them to sacrifice on Christmas because we have a better life than our cousins in The Philippines. My siblings and I don't expect or ask anything from our parents, everything we got, we earned it on our own and we're actually proud of that fact.

I just refused to continue this tradition and I do not want my future kids to experience this growing up. My fiancee has family and siblings she plans to support until they graduate from college. Which I do not mind at all because she actually put a time limit on her support. We've talked about it and I already told her that once we have kids this will have to stop. If it doesn't stop, I do not want kids. I don't mean stop helping them, but the constant help. I don't mind helping if there's an emergency or when it comes to education purposes or to help them move up, but I will not put up with supporting anyone who can't get their act together. I'm not paying for other people's mistakes and bad choices. My fiancee knows that I will do anything to make her happy, but I draw the line on certain things, this is one of them.

Wow sorry if this was long.

That was an awesome post on your right on the Money. My fiancee will be here tonight and we have already had this discussion. She has never asked me for one penny, although without being asked I have been very considerate. We had not planned for her to work, unless she wanted to. She has an elderly mother who may need a little help from time to time. This is fine and i told her I would be more than willing to help her as small needs arose. Actually I will enjoy doing this as she is part of my family now. However as you said, I made it clear we were not going to be helping those that could do for themselves. If I have it extra and someone needs some help to go to college, or something that will help them better themselves I may consider it.

What you are saying leads into what has become a problem in this country. Those of us who work and made the right choices, are increasingly being burdened by those that choose not to better themselves and expect a ever increasing government to supply their needs. I don't think anybody minds helping those who for whatever reason need a hand up or who through no fault of their own can not provide for themselves. I am sorry but poor should mean poor, and it should motivate a person to better themselves. All too often we hear tales of Non working Mothers who spit out baby after Baby, being provided Nice HUD homes, they have direct TV, government provided Cell phones, drive nice cars etc etc. That has go to stop. Ok sorry I kind of got off track.

Look at the number of posters on VJ who continually bemoan that they are on public assistance and do not make above the poverty level, but are trying to get a sponsor to bring a loved one over. That always makes my Blood Pressure go up a tad.

Anyway great post. You are very level headed.

Charity is injurious unless it helps the recipient to become independent of it.
John D. Rockefeller

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2011-11-12 09:08:00

If North Korean war erupts

ah i've only flown KAL. definitely different airlines take different routes

Me also. I think KAL is great. The quickest flights form east coast is ATL-ICH-CEB

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-04-05 21:09:00

POE question.

hello everyone, i'm leaving for US on april 10 to marry my fiance, i just need help on these questions about the POE.

1. my fiance requested me to bring some foods and cosmetics only found in our country and i'm planning to use my check-in luggage for it...would this be a problem at the POE? i'm bringing stuffs like biscuits, chocolate bars and sour cream powder, and polvoron (it's a filipino pastry), as well as eyeliners, colognes and soaps that she requested.

would this be a problem at the POE at all?

i was told at the CFO seminar that food are allowed as long as:

1. it won't be spoiled within 24 hours.
2. no fruits and veggies.
3. no foul smelling stuffs.
4. and liquids (to be hand carried) needs to zip-locked and must not exceed 100ml.

i really would appreciate your feedbacks, i wanted to bring every thing my fiance requested since she already bought everything i need upon arriving US (clothes, phone etc.) and it's my little way of thanking her.

thank you very much.

Last time we went, we took lots of Pasalubong, and came back with more dried fish, awful corned beef, chips and all kinds of stuff --no problem

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-04-07 10:26:00

Jollibee

New one just opened in Va Beach

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-04-08 21:48:00

Jollibee

I jsut found out there are like 20 Jollibee restaurant in the US.

Who knew... I think it would be like a religious pilgrimage for my wife.

http://www.jollibeeu...orelocator.html

They have a edible hot dog. The hamburger can be eaten. Other than that how it is sooo popular or that over 20 could be open in the U.S is beyond me .

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-03-31 07:16:00

Jollibee

I jsut found out there are like 20 Jollibee restaurant in the US.

Who knew... I think it would be like a religious pilgrimage for my wife.

http://www.jollibeeu...orelocator.html

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-03-30 20:11:00

Balikbayan Visa

Can anyone tell me about the Balikbayan Visa what one needs to get one obviously I am married to a Filipino and we plan on going back there in the fall of this year to stay for awhile your help with this matter is greatly appreciated

I am thinking of going back for a long time also. The wording that throws me is,, if the wife has U.S. citizenship ( or words to that effect). Mine does not. from what I understand if yo uship your househould goods over there, there is no import duty if you have the Balikbayan or the 13A.

Anyone else here visits the livingincebu website. Lots and lots of Ex-pats there in country with loads of info

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-04-08 21:19:00

USEM & Direction Following MNL Number

HANK!!!???!!! Man, I'm glad to see you! I've been reading your above over and over again and it's a great read.

Hank is always spot on ....

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-04-09 22:26:00

Thanks for the tip! I'll look more carefully next time!

and I think you specify at the end after you have already selected amount person etc.

As a side not , last time I was in Cebu , we sent ourselves Money .

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-04-19 12:28:00

HA! I think I read that story in a different thread! I don't see where to send as USD on Xoom either...in fact they state that they make money on the "mark-up."

No =you specify in the pick up section.. It's 3 dollars more to have them pick up in USD.. I did it Yesterday. 4.99 to pick up in pesos and 7.99 to pickup in dollars when using a US bank account. -Iam sure of very little in life but I am postive about this , because I have done it many times

For smaller amounts its cheaper to just send a little more and have them pick up in Pesos.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-04-19 04:44:00

Hi Steve,

I too use Xoom but as pointed out by my Fiance' the paid out exchange rate is 39. instead of the current 41. so a direct deposit in an account for her is best if possible as the bank will honor the current 41.

Brad

You can have the pickup made in USD for about 3 bucks more. If you are sending a nice size amount it is the way to go

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-04-18 21:35:00

Make sure you call all banks and cc to let them know you will be traveling. You can use Xoom to send yourself money while there

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-04-18 17:31:00

Balikbayan boxes being raided?

I've sent literally dozens of balikbayan boxes through LBC in the last 5 years. Never had one opened, as far as I know, and never had anything missing. Also never had damage, except by my things breaking inside, due most likely to my insufficient packing... Things do get tossed around a bit on board a cargo ship.

Good luck!

Ditto .. My experience with LBC also. Never an issue

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-03-17 08:27:00

How are you adjusting?

There are times I wish Filipina's came with mute buttons.

When Iam rding down the road, and the phone conversation turns to something that sounds like Ah See Gizzy Gizzy Gee. it is music because i know they are about to hang up.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-05-04 12:49:00

How are you adjusting?

There was a nice thread a little why ago, "How is your Filipina/Filipino adjsting?" My fiance and I read it all the way threw last night.

It's occurred to me often that I will have just as big an adjustment. So I wanted to reverse the question a bit.

How are you adjusting to living with and loving a woman from a very different country and culture?

Woman are pretty much women. They all tick the same way.

The social life with a pinay is more robust. Seems like always something going on , and often time the details get messed up.You have to be ready to roll at all times.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-05-03 22:02:00

So how long does it take at the embassy?

Already been there. Whenever Michelle was travelling home from Saudi Arabia or back, I always kept a website up that provides real time tracking of flights. (flightradar24.com)

Assuming she takes the same flight that I normally take, which lands around 9am, I'll probably just stay overnight at a hotel near the airport and take their shuttle over to pick her up. It's so much less stressful than dealing with the morning traffic near Dulles airport.

I've spent the last few weeks getting my house out of bachelor and his golden retriever mode. There's so much I want to get done and now it's really starting to haunt me. I changed a ceiling fan in the kitchen because it was much faster than cleaning the one that had been there for the last few decades, started removing the three layers of wallpaper from the bedroom (that was there when I bought the house) in preparation for painting the room the lilac color that she chose, vacuumed (I'm thinking the last time I vacuumed was around 2011), ordered a new mattress set that hopefully won't have springs popping out of it, threw away all of the condiments in the refrigerator and cans from the pantry that had been expired for more than a few years,,,,so much to do, so little time.

Save your energy. I don't care how good you think you have cleaned the ol' Batch pad, she is going to go thru it like a swat team thru Gitmo cells.

Make sure to sanitize the place to any reference to other females. I.E. old pics of girlfriends in sexy poses in a shoe box somewhere you forgot about.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-05-06 17:58:00

So how long does it take at the embassy?

I just heard from her. She's approved. They wanted her Saudi Police clearance translated (she spent the last few years as an OFW nurse in KSA) so she had that done. For some reason they don't want her to just drop it off at the embassy, they want it returned by 2GO...so it will probably take a couple of extra days for her passport to arrive. Between the clearance and the holiday on the 13th for election day, I'm expecting a long wait. In any event I'm ecstatic, Maybe I can get some sleep now....although I doubt it. It's almost time to get up.

Congrats. Just wait until the day you will track the airplane every 30 mins and get to go to the airport. My wife hs been here 1.5 years and would do it again tomorrow.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-05-06 13:57:00

Buying wedding dress and rings in the Philippines

I'd love to hear advice from other VJ members concerning buying Janet's wedding dress and our wedding bands while we are in the Philippines. Would this be a hassle to bring this stuff back to the US? Is it worth the savings, or are we just better off to wait until we are back in the US, and just buy it all here? Any advice is appreciated. We will be marrying in the US within the 90 days. Lyle

We had our second wedding in Cebu. We bought a dress there. It was one of the more expensive dresses in the store and was about 300 USD. It was and is a very very nice dress. We packed it and brought it back no problem.

It cost almost as much as the dress cost to get it cleaned and packed for storage.

Yes I would buy it there without a doubt. You will save big money.

As for the ring. I bought the engagement ring on the first trip over there. Hard to say which place is cheaper.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-05-08 20:13:00

OK, I wonder if I haven't seen this option is because I'm paying with bank account to cash for her and not bank to bank account. If not then I need to look much closer next time. or we just need to set up bank account for her.

Thanks again!

Brad

I pay bank account to cash also . When you get to the cash pick up screen scroll down. There will be a U.S. Dollar option

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-04-25 21:12:00

I have used Xoom on a regular basis and never have found the option to have the $ received in USD. If I'm wrong please let me know how this can be done.

Thanks!!!

Brad

Hey Nature Boy,

Where can I get the monthly discount codes as I Xoom $ every month and this would be helpful.

Thanks.

Brad

The option to send in U.S.Dollars is at the end of the process where you select pickup option.

As for the monthly code...She got it of some group she is a member of on FB. Happy ladies or something.. It did work cause I have already used it. I don't know if it's an every month thing or not

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-04-25 20:42:00

We sent xoom recently and my wife told me to send USD and have her mother use money changer to get better rate. Wouldn't you know, it was $2 more to send it that way. They make money one way or the other.

Yes it is about 3 bucks more . If you are sending more than about 240 bucks I think it starts to pay off.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-04-25 17:01:00

It won't be free. They'll make their money on the exchange rate.

Exactly I bet they will step on the exchange rate. Xoom does. My wife usally has a code for xoom that you can enter and send for free.

I think this months code is APRILDISC

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-04-25 15:33:00

We have Philippine tv from Directv and wife gets tired of me asking what did they say. She tells me to go back to sleep haha. Luckily soon I think subtitles are coming for the more popular shows.

Then I am sure you are up on every time Sir Chief tells Maya he loves her.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-05-13 10:57:00

OH NO ! This is the worst news ever !

They also have a Darnell translator in Alpha testing

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-05-12 17:03:00

I had about 56 languages on mine & read that Google had some new ones they labeled as "alpha". After trying to get the new ones loaded a few different ways I finally clicked on "GOOGLE" (at the top of the translator page) & then on the pull down menu "TRANSLATE" & now I have all 71 languages including Cebuano. Thanks Nature Boy 4 the post

and they still have some work to do by their own admission. My wife was LOL at some of the translations. Still you can get an basic idea of what is being said.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-05-12 17:00:00

I don't see Cebuano on the list on my Google translator, does it just group it under "filipino" & auto detect it?

No it's there under Cebuano , at least on mine ? It added 4 other languages also. It notes Cebuano and Marathi are still in alpha tests and accuracy will be improved.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-05-11 11:23:00

Or at least some what does it. Cool

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-05-10 20:52:00

Flights from US to Philippines

I flew to the Philippines in March from Seattle for $890...now I can't find anything this summer under $1500

Does anyone have any tips for flying to Cebu or Manila from the west coast? I'm in Seattle so I flew Korean air the last time.

I heard that the Philippines had their FAA rating increased and that will allow for direct flights from US carriers...but I'm not sure when that will take effect.

I'd like to fly back this summer, but if I can save a few dollars then that's even better.

I'd rather fly into Cebu, but I'll fly into Manila if the price is right.

Any tips you might have would be great.

Rates will not start easing until Sept usually.. People travel when school is out. They will go back up around Christmas.

I love Korean Air. Only Air Line I will fly.(to the Philippines) Sometimes if you are willing to travel on a few days notice the rates in the summer will drop a few days out on a particular flight if it's not booked 100%

As another poster said. I am a KAL F flyer member. (SKYPASS) . I also got a KAL credit card. I pay all my bills with it. In less than two years and with two round trips to Cebu , I have enough points for a free ticket and got upgraded to the Morning Calm Club. You get two free lounge tickets every year. 15K miles for signing up and double points for buying your KAL tickets with it.

Almost every monthly expense you have can be paid by CC- Electricity, Cable, Water. Use it every time you eat out or purchase something. Jut be disciplined and pay it off every month. You would be shocked how quick the point add up.

Also if you are going to fly KAL. You can book straight from the KAL website. None of the other sites will ever be cheaper.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-05-15 16:22:00

Flying your significate other(s)

The best flight for Michelle was on Korean Air...and they don't allow tickets for flights originating in the Philippines to be purchased outside of the Philippines. So, I just sent her the money, she went to a travel agent next to the hotel she was staying at during her CFO, and she's presently about midway between Mactan and Incheon.

20 hours plus whatever customs takes to go!

That is the route I went and it was so easy. Some here have bought tickets, but you have to jump thru all kinds of hoops to do it.

we always fly the Mactan-Korea-Atl route. Fastest

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-06-01 09:05:00

Flying your significate other(s)

Hoping someone that has done this within the last few months will reply.

How did you all reserve flights for your fiancé to come to the US?

What info did you need about your significant others for reserve the flights and did you have to send her anything to get them through the airport?

I read somewhere that someone had to send is fiancé a photo copy of his DL and credit card that he used to reserve the flight with.

Have them price tickets on their end and send them the money. whole lot less hassle . They can often find jsut as good or better deals.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-05-28 21:33:00

easyfiancevisa..is it reliable???

my husband wasnt deployed yet that time when we got expedite but he got orders tho our process took 5 months only

My process took a hair under 5 months from K-1 to touchdown. Of course I really stayed on top of it .Other prefer to approach it a bit more relaxed. It can be done it 5 months if you get a quick NOA2 and everything is in order. I have never heard of a 3 month deal.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2012-06-19 18:33:00

easyfiancevisa..is it reliable???

is there anyone know about this easyfiancevisa? do they really makes your petition process easy and short?..if yes how long did it take?

There is no short cut other than to file and follow the guidelines. Lots of help here in this forum. It may seem over whelming but it is not. I used a Lawyer and the onl thing that did was empty my bank account. All he did was look over my paper work. Never spoke to him after NOA2.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2012-06-19 18:29:00

What about using the dishwasher? Talk about something that is tending to collect dusty. ....

Yup my wife will not use it..

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-03-29 16:13:00

Okay, we just got home to the US this week so things should be interesting here on out. I know we are wasteful here, and many in Philippines waste not one morsel of food. She cracked me up because she took the individually wrapped bread we got on airline flight but did not eat and put it in her bag. They are not sitting on the dinner room table. She was painfully watching me cutting the tops off strawberries because she thought I was cutting too much off. I told her that part is bitter and tough. I thought she would faint when I started cutting the pineapple up. Will this change?

The first thing I did was take her to get new shoes. The shoes she was wearing were fake leather high heels. The plastic was peeling off and the underneath showing. I bought her a pair and good heels, keds, and some sneakers. She did not want but one pair, but I convinced her she needed more for different occasions.

She was very happy though when we went shopping and I bought her fish, rice, and a rice cooker.

And that is the way it goes. I looked in my our closet soon after we got married. I told her.. No man should have more shoes than his wife. We fixed that. You will be selecting restaurants based on who serves rice for a while. Just accpet some things are diffrent and what may seem very minor to you may be a big deal to her.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-03-29 07:52:00

If you can buy her wedding dress there it is much cheaper. My wife bought hers for $125 and in the US similiar for about $1000.00

It costs as much to get her's stored here as we paid for it in the PI.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-03-04 05:03:00

Lambing is the one I hate. So obvious, so childish.

"Baby, I want you to buy something for me."

"You have your own money."

"No! I want you to buy it for me."

Pout, pout, tampo.

One hour later....

"Okay. What do you want?"

"I will send you the link."

"What about what I want?"

"I am the wife. You are supposed to spoil me, silly."

"I want blonde girls."

"You can't have them!"

Pout, pout, tampo.

That is amazing. I have the same exact thing at my house.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-02-21 12:48:00

I can't be any prouder of my wife. She has mostly adapted to my diet and cooks what I like. We just got a drivers manual for her to lean the driving laws. She made her first snow man (more like a snow polar bear) last week. We are so much in love.

And the best news is that she has a tampo session ---- get this ---

IT LASTED ONLY 10 MINUTES.

I hate the tampo thing.

I can't be any prouder of my wife. She has mostly adapted to my diet and cooks what I like. We just got a drivers manual for her to lean the driving laws. She made her first snow man (more like a snow polar bear) last week. We are so much in love.

And the best news is that she has a tampo session ---- get this ---

IT LASTED ONLY 10 MINUTES.

I hate the tampo thing.

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-02-20 20:43:00

What's next?..help

1. Pay the visa application fee at BPI.

2. The next business day, schedule an interview either online or by phone.

3. Complete the medical at St. Lukes a week or two before the interview.

4. Complete the Embassy interview.

5. Complete the CFO seminar either before the Embassy interview or after receiving the visa. If you complete it before the Embassy interview, return to the CFO after the visa is received and get the CFO stamp affixed to the passport.

> Here are the instructions from the U.S. Embassy Manila on how to prepare for the interview: http://photos.state....on_rtf2_005.pdf

Glad to see you have finally come around !

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2013-06-08 10:21:00

st lukes discussion

You gotta be carefull about you were saying about in pi as most of our member here are filipino and filipina.thank you

You gotta be carefull about you were saying about in pi as most of our member here are filipino and filipina.thank you

The one thing I have learned never never to do with my fiancee.

Don't ever make a joke about a Filipino or ever god forbid make even the slightest comment that could stereotype Pinoy people in a negative fashion no matter how slight. :dance:

It was acceptable to share the "10 ten reasons a Pinoy well never be President of the U.S. list and laugh about it since a Pinoy wrote it :rofl:

I have to admit Myself and all my Filippino friends thought it was hilarious.

op 10 Reasons Why There Couldn't Be a
Filipino-American US President,
By David Letterman

10. The White House is not big enough
for in-laws and extended relatives.

9. There are not enough parking spaces
at the White House for 2 Honda Civics,
2 Toyota Land Cruisers, 3 Toyota
Corollas, a Mercedes Benz, a BMW , and
an MPV (My Pinoy Van).

8. Dignitaries generally are
intimidated by eating with their
fingers at State dinners.

7. There are too many dining rooms in
the White House - where will they put
the picture of the Last Supper?

6. The White House walls are not big
enough to hold a pair of giant wooden
spoon and fork

5. Secret Service staff won't respond
to 'psst... psst' or hoy.hoyhoy

4. Secret Service staff will not be
comfortable driving the presidential
car with a Holy Rosary hanging on the
rear view mirror, or the statue of the
Santo Nino on the dashboard.

3. No budget allocation to purchase a
Karaoke music-machine for every room
in the White House.

2. State dinners do not allow 'Take
Home'.

AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY THERE
COULDN'T BE A FILIPINO-AMERICAN U.S.
PRESIDENT IS...

1. Air Force One does not allow
overweight Balikbayan boxes!

The Nature Boy

Male

Philippines

2011-10-15 22:24:00