ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Middle East and North AfricaSudden CHANGE!!! What do I do!?
Love (or marriage) should never have to be "two bulls hitting horns for many months..." Nuh-uh. I don't think so, call me naive if you want, but that's not how I would choose to live "many months" of my life.

Life's just too far freakin' short to be somebody else's punching bag. Literally or metaphorically speaking.

Edited by sachinky, 28 October 2011 - 11:30 PM.

sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-10-28 23:29:00
Middle East and North AfricaSudden CHANGE!!! What do I do!?
Glad we can help! :) VJ Rocks.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-10-28 15:09:00
Middle East and North AfricaSudden CHANGE!!! What do I do!?
The US Embassy is not in charge of deciding whether or not the beneficiary is a good person or is going to be a good spouse. Their decision solely rests on whether the relationship is a bona-fide one (i.e. not for immigration purposes). And let me tell you, you can have a perfectly bonafide relationship with a jack@ss. Which would be what your fiance sounds like. Nothing to do with his Arabness or Islamicness. He's a controlling jerk and it's just going to get worse. You know what the worst part is, though? That you know it. You just don't want to believe it.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-10-28 14:45:00
Middle East and North AfricaSudden CHANGE!!! What do I do!?
Lady, run like hell. Things will only get worse once he lands in the US.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-10-27 20:28:00
Middle East and North AfricaThink Really Hard Before Marrying Someone from MENA
I am not even an American (yet, I guess) and even I find it outrageous.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2012-03-14 13:12:00
Middle East and North AfricaThink Really Hard Before Marrying Someone from MENA

However, you were good enough to marry, to cook for him, clean, bring him here, support him while he's doing his studies and residency, to ** him, and all the other components that a marriage entails. But ultimately, YOU and YOUR COUNTRY are not good enough to have his children and raise them here. What type of fvcked up bullsh!t is that?


Agreed. How on earth is this not insulting and horribly offensive? If this country is good enough for me to study here, live here, work here, earn money, produce a man who I love enough to marry, then how is it suddenly not good enough to raise my children in? GAH. This stuff gets my goat.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2012-03-14 10:54:00
Middle East and North AfricaThink Really Hard Before Marrying Someone from MENA
I know of several successful MENA-American relationship and they are your everyday, average lovely couples who've been married for several (7-15) years. These are folks I interact on a daily basis with. The white/MENA couples usually have 2 kids. The women have converted to Islam although none of them wear the hijab.


Two points stuck out to me that showed a very different picture than the one I see often on VJ:

1) These couples usually met in some third country (usually in the middle east) on work related trips (nursing, air hostess), or the MENA guy was in the US on a work visa/ student visa and/or already had his papers sorted. None of this online/FB stuff.

2) Also, crucially important, all of them are similar in age/ level of attractiveness. No one looks like a grandma or a model.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2012-03-03 23:09:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread
The fact that you've dated in person for a year and lived in Morocco for a substantial period can only help your case!
sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-12-09 20:23:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread
I assume your brother-in-law is acting as joint sponsor for your husband? As a joint sponsor, he needs to provide proof of USC or LPR.

This can be done through a birth certificate, certificate of naturalization, green card or US passport.

Edited by sachinky, 19 July 2010 - 08:34 PM.

sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-07-19 20:33:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread
The I-864 submitted at the AOS stage must be 'current' even if you use one for the K-1 interview.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-07-19 12:02:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread
Honestly, I'd advise against buying any tickets or making travel plans till you have the visa in hand.

The drones that work the phones aren't the brightest bulbs in the room.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-07-14 13:05:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread
I agree, someone who is 'easily influenced' can come across as looking 'desperate' or 'vulnerable' or easily 'exploitable.'
sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-07-10 13:17:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread
This is a thought I've not fleshed out too much but I wanted to throw it out there. What I've noticed is the Consulate doesn't like it when the Westerner is 'trying too hard.' For example, say you're a regular American/Western woman, who likes to drink and smoke. Wears skirts and loves her Big Mac. Now, after your three-month long relationship, suddenly you're fasting for Ramadan, wearing the hijab, saying 'Alhamudilah' after every sentence. Swearing off pork and alcohol. (Yes, I'm using extreme, exaggerated examples but hopefully, you get what I mean).

Of course, showing some interest is normal and you do want to be familiar with certain aspects of your spouse's culture (my husband will watch a Bollywood movie with me now and then and shows some interest in cricket news) but even I would think it was weird if he was suddenly a fast-believer in Astrology, got an 'om' tattooed on his arm or wore Fab India kurtas all the time.

Where do you draw the line between 'mere curiousity/I want to more know about where he/she comes from' and 'going overboard?'

I probably am not explaining this well but would like to hear about your thoughts.

Edited by sachinky, 09 July 2010 - 03:19 PM.

sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-07-09 15:18:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread
And you'd be surprised at how much '#######' somebody who is desperate enough would be willing to go through.

Have you ever read about the threads about men who are supposedly being 'abused' but want to know if they'll receive 10 year GC if they just 'stick it out?'
sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-07-09 14:39:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread
IMO, phone bills, photos and chat transcripts are good evidence when everything else seems 'normal' and in place.

If photos only show a large disparity in age and looks, and you look 'unnatural' in those pictures, it doesn't do you any good and only highlights a serious problem.

If the beneficiary is not well-versed in English and your chat-logs are a lot of :wub: and :star: then again, it's only hurting your case by submitting four hundred pages of IM transcripts.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-07-09 14:34:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread
I meant IRAQ. :blush:
sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-07-09 12:16:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread
Have you seen some of the average AP timelines for those going through Afghanistan and Iran?
sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-07-09 11:55:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread
I don't have any official DOS statistics to back it up but given the disproprionate rate of denials that seems to come out of Casa and the grilling (male) beneficiaries undergo and the warning that's on the offical US embassy's website page (which I haven't seen in, say, the US Consulate General in India's webpage) leads me to believe that Casa, along with Lagos, and HCMC, is one of the highest fraud consulate. Morocco also happens to be T country, if I'm not mistaken. I just thought it was common knowledge by now. There are also some interesting articles and reports written by former COs and consular staff that I don't have the link to. Those weren't specific to Morocco but made for interesting reading.

Edited by sachinky, 23 June 2010 - 05:25 PM.

sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-06-23 17:24:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread
And to clarify--I meant 'here' on VJ, as a whole. I'm basing my opinions on a lot of old threads I've read over the last year or so I've been on VJ. I don't know anyone on this thread, either superficially or personally.

And Monica--I do think you've got the right attitude about this which is why you will eventually succeed. This is just an obstacle. Good luck!

What bugs me is when people with shining, obvious red flags will put on blinders and say their case is straightforward. Y'know, 'cause we 'love' each other.' My case was relatively straightforward, but I went with a suitcase (I kid you not) full of evidence, covering every angle I could think of. My interview lasted 3 minutes, maybe, not one piece of evidence was asked for. But I'm still glad I did my homework and went prepared. At the end of the day, that's all we can do. Be prepared. For every outcome and eventuality. The Boy Scouts' had it right. :)
sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-06-23 17:14:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread
I wasn't 'judging' or 'bashing.' Neither am I wishing any one ill-will. I don't see where I said 'my way was the best/right way' or that 'only my relationship is genuine' so I'm not sure where you got that from. I am a big advocate of the 'whatever floats your boat, man' philosophy.

Being apart is one of the hardest things about this proccess and I remember it vividly and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

I'm just giving my opinion as a neutral, third party observer who is not emotionally invested in what's going on in Casa. I know that people are looking for 'support' but often support groups will only tell each other what they WANT to hear instead of what they NEED to hear or SHOULD hear. Raging or rating against the CO's is of no use. They are simply doing their job which is confounded by vulnerable women who go refuse to listen to reason or watch out for the warning signs. Unfortunately or not, they do go by 'conventional,' or 'real world' standards. They look at a relationship and say 'does this make sense?' If it doesn't make sense to me, who is simply a uninterested party in the situation, how do you expect them to buy it, especially given the context and country. I see a 60 year old, sagging, toothless, rich guy with a hot, nubile 19 year old. My LOGIC says, she's after his money. Now, could she possibly be madly and deeply in love with him? Sure. Not impossible. But improbable. Like I said, it's simply 'my opinion' -- 'take it or leave it.'

Most people are way too emotional about this process and I'll admit it's hard to be objective. However, you need to be methodical and rational about it and pinpoint your red-flags so that you're prepared to confront them head-on instead of brushing them under the rug, burying your head in the sand and putting up a giant banner that reads 'NOT MY MAN.'

It's unfortunate that the situation has deteriorated and a 'few apples have spoilt the whole bunch,' so to speak.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-06-23 16:57:00
Middle East and North AfricaThe hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread

Actually, sister, they try to do this...that is why they post that information on their website. But how many women truly listen? So many women just say - oh, no, not my man - "He loves me - loves my fat - loves my kids - doesn't mind that I've been married and around the block a few times - loves that I'm a Christian but I'll convert for him - loves that I'm independent" blah, blah, blah. Girl, please - they've seen it all...but what they've seen, too, is that many men are sooooo fvcking desperate to get the hell out of Morocco that they'll do whatever it takes to blow that popsicle stand. That they'll ride that rollercoaster so they can have a better life.

I don't know what is up with Casa because yes they seem to be denying in inordinate amount of cases lately, but somehow I believe that means they've been seeing some serious, serious fraud situations as well. Things do go hand in hand. I have a feeling that if they could tell some of these women to their face that they're blind as a bat, they would. But obviously, and it has happened before in MENA interviews, that when a consular officer told some women about their husband's/fiance's lies such as concurrent marriages, undeclared children, multiple visa filings, these women didn't do anything and just continued with the relationship. Desperation at its finest!!!

There are many people who have come through Casa and other MENA countries and they are happily married (and I say happily with a grain of salt because immigration marriages are tough) but for the most part things are moving along well. But, there are also quite a few who have had the greencard monster rear his ugly head. Just sayin'. :thumbs:


I'm going to say something unpopular so try not to flame me.

More than half the MENA-American couples I spot here on VJ -- I have a hard time buying that theirs is a true and genuine, loving relationship. I can't, in good conscience, say that I believe it. I'd like to but I don't. Call me cynical. Most of them smell of fraud and exhibit the 'classic signs.' If I, as a neutral, third-party observer, can't buy it then how do you expect a CO, sitting at the highest fraud consulate in the world, to buy it? Really, come on, now.

I come from a 3rd world country, believe me, I have seen desperation and poverty and the lengths people would go to, to escape it.

I have to agree with Stasshi here. The Casa consulate has a difficult job. Their job is to protect America - it's borders and it's citizens.

Whether you, the USC petitioner feel like you need 'protecting' or not -- seriously, some of the women on here do seem to be blind as bats. Flying half-way across the world to marry someone who popped the question after talking online for two months is not 'spontaneous' and 'romantic' but just plain dumb. There. I said it. "He loves me even though I'm old as his mother and ugly as sin. This is what true love is. He is humiliated by his friends and peers but he takes it like a man. He is -- my man." I don't know whether to laugh or cry. People would sell their mothers for a greencard. And you think a few months of tasteless jokes is a tough price to pay for a GC?

Edited by sachinky, 23 June 2010 - 04:08 PM.

sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-06-23 16:07:00
Middle East and North AfricaWhat do your husbands do for work when they arrive to USA?

I'm sorry but ####### is "East India?" If you mean just India (the giant land mass in South Asia), then say so!

 

 


sachinkyFemaleIndia2013-08-03 16:06:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & Proceduresgot a call from US consulate chennai about AP
This is precisely why it is recommended that beneficiaries do not purchase air tickets until you have the visa in your hands.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-10-18 19:00:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & Proceduresgot a call from US consulate chennai about AP
A lot of people have been told they've been approved verbally at the time of the interview only to later find that they've been put on AP.
Nothing is certain until you hold your passport/visa in hand.
If they don't want anything from your side, it's probably just name-checks/clearance etc.

FYI--All applicants undergo AP. Most of the checks clear from D.C. within 24 hours and so we never hear about those cases. Others unfortunately get stuck in the AP blackhole.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-10-18 07:56:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresWe need members experiences and help plsssss
I'm sorry but you'll have to wait it out until the DOS decides to reopen the Consulate in Cairo.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-03-18 11:32:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & Proceduresall VJ members who recieve NVC RFE..pls..pls..share ur story here...
We got one for the I-864. My husband had not added up the assets column properly. I wanted to wring his neck.

Cost us nearly two weeks in waiting time.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-11-07 11:14:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresHorror Stories

Morocco is a fabulous place to live. Europeans are flocking in there as well to escape the VAT tax that is coming America's way. It's hard to come back to the states with their non-plastic, non-cardboard, non-tainted food and a low stress life. No, it's not perfect there, but it sure has a lot of things I enjoy in my life now and it won't be a problem to live there.


So have you moved to Morocco yet?
sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-04-09 10:49:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresIR-1 : Port of Entry questions at JFK Airport
Here's the link to my POE experience. Hope it helps.

http://www.visajourn...e/page__hl__ord
sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-04-09 11:33:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresIR-1 : Port of Entry questions at JFK Airport
Passport and the envelope. I carried my x-ray but it wasn't asked for. It is now gathering dust in the closet.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-04-09 11:29:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresReaffirmation of Approval for BOTH the I-129F and I-130...
Let me ask you again.

Reasons why the visa was denied the first time:

1) Pictures look posed.
2) ?
3) ?
4) ?
5) ?

Edited by sachinky, 02 April 2011 - 06:39 AM.

sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-04-02 06:38:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresWhy u guyz do IR-1/CR-1 instead of DCF in ur home country??
I was told by the New Delhi Embassy that Mr. Sachinky living on a tourist visa in India for three months wouldn't count as 'residency' for immigration (DCF) purposes. He would need a bank account or a job or an electricity/phone/utility bill in his name and all of that sounded like too much of a hassle. Besides, he was only able to get 2 weeks off from work at that time so we just went with the CR-1. Not many people are able to secure 3 months off from work unless you have tons of vacation time piled up.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-09-18 13:52:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresAP How long?
I don't care what your local customs are, but if you're going in for a visa interview where the fate of your relationship rests on some government worker, you better bet that you know your spouse's ex-wife's name. We're not talking about who you dated in middle school or who your first girlfriend was. We're talking about your former spouse's name. It is not unreasonable to think that someone who is now married to you would know who were married to previously. Otherwise, don't be surprised if you find yourself in AP or worse, denied.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2010-07-12 22:23:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresIndia VFS inquiry
Where will you be interviewing, btw? For Mumbai, you should give it to VFS beforehand, for Chennai I know folks have taken the medical directly. There's no 'faster' really, everything will take the time it will take. It all depends on when you take the medical, if it's a day or two before the interview, well then, you won't have time to submit it to VFS, whereas if you complete your medical a couple of weeks before the interview then you can go ahead and submit it to VFS. My reasoning was this: I'd rather the consulate have as much time as they need to review any/all documents BEFORE the interview as opposed to a snag coming up on the day of the interview.

I really don't think you need to worry about this so much. As long as your medical is clean, there's nothing to worry about. VFS will mail your documents to the consulate and the interviewer will most definitely have them. However, if carrying it personally gives you peace of mind, then go ahead and do that.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-07-09 08:01:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresIndia VFS inquiry
I interviewed on the 12th of May, the actual visa was issued on the 13th and my passport was delivered on the 14th at six in the evening.

I had gone to VFS the day of the interview itself but they said that the consulate was backlogged and that day's batch hadn't come in yet. They said I could come back the next morning and collect it in person but I didn't want to stay another day in Bombay unnecessarily so I flew out that night and had them courier it to me instead.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-07-08 16:22:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresIndia VFS inquiry
VFS will not open the medical report which is sealed. They simply mail everything to the consulate so you don't need to worry about that.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-07-08 16:17:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresIndia VFS inquiry
It would probably be best if you called your regional VFS offices and found out the requirements straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

This is a link to my interview review for a CR-1 last year. Hope it helps!

http://www.visajourn...terview-review/
sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-07-08 14:08:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresIndia VFS inquiry
To clarify--the medical report was submitted to VFS (which was optional, I opted to do so) but I hand-carried the chest-x-ray to Mumbai.

If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask me. I hope it's helpful.

Good luck!
sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-07-08 14:05:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresIndia VFS inquiry

Sachinky, thank for sharing your experience. VFS is supposed to act as a handling/courier agent for the US Consulate and I am surprised that they wanted to see some pictures (may be wanting to make you feel his importance).


He did say that they were authorized by the Embassy to ask for any evidence. The rationale behind it being that if you are truly in love/committed relationship then chances are you are going to have a picture or two of your beloved/family member with you. I know that my parents still carry a baby-picture of me in their wallets. I said I had a few wedding pictures on my phone and he said that I could turn it on and show it to them. I promptly whipped out my phone and showed them our best lovey-dovey shots.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-07-08 14:00:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresIndia VFS inquiry
Like I mentioned this was only for the Mumbai Consulate General where I interviewed. For Chennai, I remember, most folks just had to pay the courier fee to VFS. They carried the medical to the embassy.

I honestly can't remember the reason why I had to submit a new DS230, they just asked for it and I gave it to them. I had several copies printed out from before (when I sent the packet to NVC) so it wasn't an issue really. I just took one along with me. I still had to sign a new DS230 at the consulate since VFS sent them a photocopied one (despite me telling them that several times) and they needed an original signature on it. Not a problem, I was carrying a fresh form for EVERYTHING. Starting from the I-130. Not that anything was needed despite my 10lb bag of evidence.

I can't stress enough, always carry extra copies/updated forms. It's just paper at the end of the day. All your originals will be returned to you.

I submitted a new I-864 because my husband had a new job after we passed through NVC so we wanted to update the financial sponsorship part.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-07-08 13:57:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresIndia VFS inquiry
And this is what I was officially asked to bring to the Calcutta VFS:

--DS230 Part I and II
--Medical Report
--Interview Letter
--3 Passport size pictures
--Passport
--Photocopy of all passport pages.
--Photocopy of marriage certificate
--Photocopy of PCCs.
--Photocopy of Birth certificate.
--Rs. 387 for DHL courier fees.
sachinkyFemaleIndia2011-07-08 08:36:00