ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresHELP PLEASE!
QUOTE (gethere @ Feb 26 2009, 10:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
DHL or FEDEX??????????? We need to send documents in days? Any ideas fast fast fast, money no object!


Here is an update on what I used for shipment to Dakar Senegal. I went to a place called the "Postal Center", which serves as a shipping drop-off location for UPS, DHL and FedEx. I specified DHL for my package. The clerk looked at his computer screens for DHL, and was having trouble figuring out the cost and the timeline for delivery to Dakar Senegal. Finally, he got it: 2.7 pounds is rounded up to 3 pounds by DHL and the cost would be $151.92. Ouch!! He then recommended FedEx. I was reluctant, but he said it would get there quicker and cost less - $112.00. Ok, hello FedEx. I completed my transaction at 12:30 PM Friday 3/6/09 in Manchester NH. The package was hand-delivered directly to my fiancée this morning 10:00AM Wed 3/11/09 in Dakar. According to FedEx, it sat in Senegal Customs for 30 minutes on 3/9/09. It would have been delivered yesterday, but that was a holiday in Senegal, so the Delivery Agent was not open for business. I am very pleased!!
Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-03-11 11:15:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresHELP PLEASE!
QUOTE (gethere @ Feb 26 2009, 09:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
DHL or FEDEX??????????? We need to send documents in days? Any ideas fast fast fast, money no object!


I will be using DHL to send vital K-1 documents to my fiancée in Senegal. Originally, I thought FedEx was the way to go. I had planned to use FedEx to send documents from Senegal to Nigeria, and return. Then I learned that FedEx had limited delivery between Senegal and Nigeria, but DHL does it daily with guaranteed delivery in 2 business days, but always plan for delays in customs. I asked the US Embassy in Dakar, and they do not endorse one company over another, but they have used DHL in the past with good results. The only thing I know is they the US Embassy in Dakar has given me advice a few times in the past, and they have always been right. Good luck.
Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-02-26 21:48:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresMedical Exam and Vaccinations
We are in the home stretch, I hope, and preparing for the K-1 interview. Tying to schedule a medical exam is a challenge, since none of the approved doctors answer their phones. So, Evelyn will schedule in person. Beyond that, I have a few questions:

1. It seems that vaccinations are optional right now in the process, from everything I've read, but they must be done prior to AOS. Is this correct?

2. Is there any advantage (other than cost) to getting the vaccinations as part of the Medical Exam or to wait until after she enters the US? From a cost perspective, it certainly will be cheaper to wait, if I allowed to do so, until after we get married and prior to AOS? After she is covered by my HMO, I can get her vaccinations covered through my HMO before we go through the AOS.

3. I am also asking if the embassies evaluate whether or not the vaccinations have been done in any way that might affect the outcome of the interview or their decision to approve or deny the visa application? It seems like they shouldn't or wouldn't, but it also seems that embassies do things differently from one side of the globe to another.
Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-03-12 09:10:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresOK, K1 Petition was approved, but Now I don't want to use it
QUOTE (itzallgood @ Mar 11 2009, 09:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think I met a better, more responsible Filipina, and will likely want to petition her instead. I will probably go visit her in Phils in 2 months. . . . . . I do expect RFE initially for an IMBRA waiver, but beyond that, will my new petition be held up? . . . . . . biggrin.gif


I am not one to pick apart the things that others say, but there is something disturbing about what you described your plans to be. I totally understand termination the first relationship because of fraud. But you are already anticipating petitioning someone you apparently know very little about, and you are going through an IMBRA agent. That tells me there is a problem with this marriage broker, who may be taking advantage of what seems to be a sense of urgency on your part to find Ms Right. I recommend taking a break from the action and reassess the situation. I think your rapid fire petition plan will create some real red flags for the USCIS or the consulate.
Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-03-12 00:25:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresDating Website - whats it considered?
QUOTE (V-G-1 @ Mar 12 2009, 03:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Is a dating website, like Match, or Eharmony, etc, considered an "International Marriage Broker"?

From the I-129F Instructions, "The term "international marriage broker" does not include: B. Entities that provide dating services if their principal business is not to provide international dating services between United States citizens or United States residents and foreign nationals and charge comparable rates and offers comparable services to all individuals it serves regardless of the individual's gender or country of citizenship."

I added the bold emphasis. I asked myself the same question when I began this process, and I came up with the same answer. Match, eHarmony, etc., all "charge comparable rates and offers comparable services . . . . . ," so they are not considered a broker. Then I asked an immigration lawyer, and he agreed. I did see some websites that offer names of foreign women at a cost (1 name $xx, 10 names $xxx), so it seems they might fall into the broker category, but I can't say that with any certainty and haven't researched it.
Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-03-12 15:18:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Proceduresletter of intent to marry
QUOTE (sofijordan @ Mar 11 2009, 10:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hello everybody Im a bit confused my fiance hired a lawyer to take care of our papers we are at RFE now and we are supposed to include G325a that we forgot BUT nothing says letter of intent to marry!! should we include it even though they didnt ask for it ??

I will not bash your lawyer. That's your job. I was lucky to find a really good immigration lawyer, but I didn't hire him because I'd be broke right now. Instead, folks out here on VJ continue to assist. The Letter of Intent is very important - one now from each of you, and an updated letter from you after the petition is approved and you are prepping for your consulate interview. You already got the straight scoop on the G325A. Good luck and God bless.
Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-03-12 15:28:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Proceduresvaccination records - not requested
QUOTE (payxibka @ Mar 12 2009, 12:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
3. some.... it appears consulates in Canada and London for example do.... IDK about Lagos...


She is Nigerian living in Senegal. The Dakar CO will do the interview. Any feedback on Dakar and my question? The bottom line is that this has been an expensive process, which ain't over yet. If I can defer (or eliminate) the cost without risk to the interview results, I would prefer to do so.
Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-03-12 12:01:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Proceduresvaccination records - not requested
It looks like I missed this post earlier, so I started a similar new post today. I got one reply from a trusted source, but I am looking for more. I prefer to have her wait until she gets here for her vaccinations, because I can have them covered under my insurance. It seems you all have answered 2 out of 3 of my questions.

3. Does anyone know if any specific embassies evaluate whether or not the vaccinations have been done that might in any way affect the outcome of the interview or their decision to approve or deny the visa application? It seems like they shouldn't or wouldn't, but it also seems that embassies do things differently from one side of the globe to another. Has anyone experienced something like this?
Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-03-12 11:29:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresI Believe Someone May Attempt to Block the Visa
I don't know if you're paranoid or not. Only your doctor knows for sure. But for now, let's just say I believe you.

Your recipe for success was written in some of the Zen-like comments made by ‘malapascua', which are right on target. My daddy would remind me of something a little less Zen-like: Pick your battles carefully. This is not a time when you take this person on head-on with restraining orders and the like. This is a time to keep your head down, stay off that person’s radar scope and not let this person have the slightest clue about what you are doing. If this person already knows you are contemplating a K-1, then it’s time for mis-direction and counter-intelligence. Forgive me for adapting an old expression to this situation, but what he don’t know won’t hurt you. If you need advice out here, write directly to some of the members and you will be ok.
Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-03-13 20:40:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresLetter from bank for I134?
Oh, by the way, I agree with what was said by other posters out here. Theoretically, income alone is enough OR assets alone are enough. But one thing I've learned out here is that the consulates kinda do things a bit differently from place to place, and it would not be a good thing if you came across a consulate at your interview that felt you should have both and you only had one.
Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-03-15 17:23:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresLetter from bank for I134?
QUOTE (lizziebits28 @ Mar 14 2009, 11:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Is this really necessary or are bank statements alone ok? If it must be the letter, does it need to be certified and do I need statements as well? Thanks in advance!!!!

There is a reason why the letter is required. If you note from the I-134 instructions, the specification for the bank letter is clear. If the consulate wants to further evaluate your financial situation, the letter may provide them with the kind of information that says you made $500 worth of deposits, or maybe you made $50,000 worth of deposits, during the prior year. I don't think it is conclusive of anything, but it may be to the consulate if they are looking for something to be consistent with and supporting the income claimed on the form. If you are using the new form, neither it nor the bank letter are required to be notarized.
Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-03-15 17:16:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresInterview time!
QUOTE (gethere @ Mar 16 2009, 08:11 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
HE GOT IT!!!!!!! OMG THANK YOU


kicking.gif good.gif kicking.gif good.gif BIG CONGRATS!!!!! kicking.gif good.gif kicking.gif good.gif
Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-03-16 10:48:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresMeeting for the first time!
QUOTE (Leo&Farah @ Mar 7 2009, 11:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thank you for the wonderful support guys. I think Gray and Alla's 'congratulations' was the first we got as a couple and it felt good! It feels strange but comforting finally being around people who understand what we've been going through. And its good feeling like you don't have to justify the realness of the relationship simply because of its online nature or the distance involved.

The baggage tags are something I didn't think about. He was gonna just bring carry on, but maybe checking in something for that is a better idea.

As for proof of past/ongoing relationship, we have letters sent between us from as far back as 2005, years worth of phone call records/bills and skype call records which identify his numbers (when he was in WI and now MD) and my local number there (through skype), stubs of packages I sent to him with a stamp and date on them, recorded video calls which can be screenshotted I think, emails and 5 years worth of chatting on MSN and skype.

I'm a little reluctant to sign the forms and intent letter and all the documentation needed during the trip. I feel like I want to have our own little time out from the world and enjoy it, something just for us. (They could probably power up a whole country from the amount of 'energy' between us when we both finally meet hehe) The amount of red tape they make you go through and having to prove a relationship the way they do kinda goes against how natural a relationship should be, but I suppose that's just how it is. But for that one week, I'd like to not get USCIS involved so it can be as it should be. I would rather pay the postage and wait to send the documents later just so we can enjoy our time together simply for what it is. Maybe I'm being wishful but I'd like to strike a healthy balance if possible.

And after that, the chaos that is a K1 can begin.

I've been seeing trends in the progress forums that show Vermont has been speeding up, so that's good I think.

We'll put up a profile pic of us after our trip come end of March! Best. March. Ever.


When I was in Dakar, I had Evelyn sign the G-325A Biographic Information. After I got back to the USA, I was reviewing the package against other posts out here on VisaJourney, and I realized that I totally spaced out on the relationship letter. So, I emailed it to her, she printed it, signed it and mailed it back to me, regular mail. 17 days later, it finally arrived. I filed my I-129F package that same day (10/3/08), NOA1 on 10/7/08. We got our NOA2 on 2/17/09 with no RFE's. In hindsight, the delay caused by that letter was not a bad thing. You two have known each other for a long time, so I suspect you will have more evidence than we did for the I-129F, and that's good. Gather it all, have your SO sign every thing that needs to be signed whenever you are ready to have it signed, and then ask questions out here, if you have any. It sounds like you have a pretty good handle on this. Good luck.
Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-03-08 09:34:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresMeeting for the first time!
QUOTE (Leo&Farah @ Mar 7 2009, 12:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hey guys, this is my very first post so I'm a little nervous on the reception. I've been lurking in the forums on and off for some time and have seen such a strong support community here. Its great that something like this exists for such a complicated and nerve racking process (when love should be simple!).

We've been dating online for four years now, well this is the fifth year after meeting in a game back in 2004. Sadly, monetary problems have made it impossible for us to meet till now. Its been tough but rewarding and definitely worth the wait though.

I had my tourist visa denied to go see him during Christmas last year, which was heartbreaking after waiting that long to meet. So rather than try again, he is coming down here for a week (that's all he could get off work). I'm so nervous but exhilarated at the same time. Once our vacation is over, we will go the K1 route.

I do know that some things are needed to prove that we met like boarding passes, itinerary, photos, the stamp on his passport and hotel receipts. Is there anything else?

Thanks in advance guys and we hope to part of this great community.

- Farah (Leo's asleep)


Here is the Table of Contents, Chapter 7, of my I-129F Petition Package to the USCIS. This ought to help you see what you can provide and how to organize it. Do you need all this stuff? The answer is that it's like any other case (civil or criminal) that relies on evidence. You present anything that can prove your case.
7. Proof of US Citizen and Foreign Fiancée Meeting Within the Past Two Years
7.1 Flight Itinerary – United Airlines (operated by South African Airways)
7.2 US Passport Visa Date Stamps by Senegal
7.3 Boarding Passes and Baggage Claim Tickets, South African Airways
7.4 Paid Hotel Hill, Residence Hoteliere Ndiambour, Dakar, Senegal
7.5 American Express Travelers Cheques Purchase Receipt (USA)
7.6 American Express Travelers Cheques Cash Invoices (Senegal)
7.7 Photos of Paul and Evelyn in Dakar, Senegal

If you don't have a scanner hooked up to your computer, go buy one. I have never scanned more stuff in my life for personal business than I have during this process.

Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-03-07 21:26:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresShould I try to write to my congressman
QUOTE (V-G-1 @ Mar 12 2009, 11:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ok..ok...ok....calm down folks.....i was just inquiring hehehehe--- i know i have to wait........

I think some people got excited about your post because everyone has to put up with the long wait. It took 4 months 12 days between our NOA1 and NOA2. I doub't if my Congressman would have had much impact to speed things up for me. You may want to read the "Q&A Session with a former USCIS Adjudicator" found in the Guides section of this website. It is a little dated, and a little bit funny, but it gives an interesting perspective of the process from that side of the fence.
Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-03-13 20:58:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresHigh Fraud consulates or embassy or country
I would never plagiarize anyone else's comments out here, so let me give credit to the straight-talking "pushbrk" who commented on my post about "Nigerian Police Certificates. He said that when it comes to fraud the USCIS has four levels:
Low
Medium
High
Lagos (Nigeria)

Considering my fiancée was born there, and just returned from there yesterday, hearing her reports, I completely understand pushbrk's sentiments.
Paul & EvelynNot TellingNigeria2009-03-09 17:31:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresLondon embassy- attending visa interview before embassy receives medical exam results
hi everyone :) i'm posting this on behalf of my fiancé, dan, as he does not yet have a visajourney account. we're both a bit nervous about his upcoming k-1 interview at the london embassy. he's scheduled for his interview on january 19th, and his medical exam is scheduled for january 15th. he called the embassy yesterday to confirm the dates, and the person he spoke with said that he won't be allowed to attend his interview if the embassy does not have the results of his medical exam. this worries us, because everything we've read so far says that as long as the medical exam is at least booked, it's okay to attend the interview.

here are two conflicting pieces of information from the embassy website (italics mine):

from http://london.usemba...cal_letter.pdf:
What if I cannot secure a medical appointment before the visa interview takes place?
Don’t worry. You should still keep the visa appointment and, once the medical has been completed, the results will be delivered directly to the Embassy. When they have been received, the Embassy will contact you concerning the next steps that you are required to take.

from http://london.usemba...orms/IV019.pdf:
Medical Examination
Your medical results will be sent directly to the Embassy by Knightsbridge Doctors and will take approximately 5 workdays from the date of the examination to be received. If you have not yet arranged an appointment for your medical examination, you should do so immediately as the medical examination must take place before the visa interview. Please visit http://london.usemba.../medexam_K.html for further information. You will require your case number in order to book the medical examination. If you attend the Embassy without having attended the medical examination, the interview will be cancelled and you will be required to reschedule for a later date.

and then we have the person dan spoke with, who told him that if the embassy does not have the medical results in hand, they will cancel his interview. he has emailed the embassy regarding this matter and is awaiting a reply. has anyone else been in this situation? can anyone offer advice?

our current plan is that he should hopefully have his visa by the end of january. he finishes work in early february, enters the states mid-to-late february, and we marry on march 12th. he received his letter from the embassy on january 6th informing him of his interview date, so since the 6th i have been trying to do as much wedding planning as possible before i start my spring semester of nursing school. we haven't been able to do much wedding planning at all prior to this, because the embassy wasn't giving us any information as to when he might have his interview. he would call weekly, and he would get a different answer each time. one time they told him it would be an additional nine month wait (i.e. until fall 2010!), someone said three months, someone said four weeks... so you can see why we haven't planned anything.

thanks in advance for everyone's help. thanks!

~jennifer
jenanddan2010FemaleUnited Kingdom2010-01-09 22:12:00
Middle East and North Africalooking for MENA success stories

I would just like to say that even though certain women come back to tell their stories about the decline of their marriage or the fraud that their spouse committed, this doesn't make them a bad person. I believe it makes them admirable. They had the balls to come back here and share the hell they went through, to expose themselves to ridicule or the proverbial ”I-told-you-so” attitudes that can be found here.

So many of them did exactly what you are doing...spent lots of time in their SO's country, knew the family well, and listened to his talk of love and life together. They had covered every red flag. And yet, their world came undone. It takes a lot of courage to come back here and say that you were taken for a ride, or that your marriage just didn't work out because of cultural differences. So, now, when you ask if it has worked out for anyone with your age bracket differential, you are showing your skepticism. And let me say, your skepticism is justified...twenty years is a lot...not impossible, but it will raise eyebrows all the way around.

Sometimes MENA isn't all rainbows, lollipops, and unicorns. Just sayin'.


It's not?!?! :blink: And here I am, this whole time, thinking life will be just perfect when my husband gets here, and we'll be singing Kumbaya every night, while living somewhere over the rainbow :angry: Hmm, maybe I should get my head outta my butt :P

*Please note the sarcasm
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-04-17 09:37:00
Middle East and North Africalooking for MENA success stories

I'm guessing noone is intentionally generalizing young MENA women as mindless, vapid, stupid baby makers. But talk of young MENA men needing foreign, older women so that they have someone to match their intellectual capacities seems to be doing just that. This seems as bad to me as generalizing MENA men as abusive control freaks.

:thumbs:
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-04-17 09:02:00
Middle East and North Africalooking for MENA success stories

I totally agree with everything you are have said here. I was married for 20 years to someone who made life unbearable, I know what the struggles of marriage can be. I am very aware of the cultural differences in my new marriage, and I know it won't be easy by any stretch of the imagination. I have spent as much time as I can with my husband and his family, and I have talked to many people in similar marriages and discussed how they handle their day to day issues in the marriage, I have done my homework. In every marriage or relationship there will be ups and downs, but I think that if both people are willing to work hard and overcome the obstacles they can make it work. I don;t have any visions of it being easy, I know it will be difficult, but I we will do our best.


That's all you can do. Be aware of things, and do your best along the way. You made a very good point, both have to be willing to work at it. My ex wasn't a partner in our marriage, which is why we are no longer married. Feeling like you have a partner working just as hard as you are is important.
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-04-16 16:06:00
Middle East and North Africalooking for MENA success stories

Well Marrying a younger MENA man ...yes there are crazy stories on here that I think have been magnified and in turn might have eclipsed the good Visa story endings...

@ ILoveMimosh

My Visa process is still not complete but as as write now I am in Morocco with my husband, in his home by the ocean and WE have a happy ending. In our 3 years We have been through more time separated then together, But it is simply blessings in disguise. Because of the turn of events we were forced to hold on tighter, Know each other better and Learn a stronger patience and trust that people in long distance relationships endure. We appreciate the little but meaningful times we can spend together online or on the phone due to time differences. And in a personal note my children were given a larger amount of time to know him and accept the new man in our lives.
Traveling is a looooong journey for me..but spending that additional time with his family gave all of us more time to share... to know and love each other. I see the man from the way he is with his parents and siblings. There is laughter and love in my new family..And the allowance of my long visits taught me so much. Again I would miss out on these lessons if not for this Visa process.

I dont believe we could have had grown this way, this strong, or this grateful if our Visa journey was simpler.
Dont get me wrong...If I had the fiance visa approved back in July...we still would be happy and it would have cost less in time and monetary sense ...But God has his plans and I see the beauty in this one.

WE have a happy ending no matter what side of any borders we will live on.

And just a little note of converting...This was the wonderful basis of our friendship's beginning. I am proud to say God chose me to learn Islam. I just got a wonderful man (L) with the deal.
BTW how can I not mention the really cool people I have met through this site too!!

YES I write it with happiness to share..
Inshallah


Regarding the underlined statement: Exactly how I feel about my husband and I. Our long journey made us so much stronger than if we would have gotten approved over 2 years ago the first time. I have been able to visit Morocco, and spend way more time with his family than I would have if we were approved back then. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want the denials back then, but God knows best. We did our best, but was STILL delayed. My husband is coming to America very soon, and this comes with new challenges, but with all the suffering, and fighting we did for our relationship, I feel confidant we will make it.

Edited by tany1157, 16 April 2012 - 12:15 PM.

tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-04-16 12:14:00
Middle East and North Africalooking for MENA success stories
We all know what assuming leads too... :wacko:
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-04-16 10:52:00
Middle East and North Africalooking for MENA success stories
I think you have gotten some good advice here....years ago, i used to read all the horror stories, and compare every little detail to my (then) fiance...it literally made me crazy. You know your SO more than anyone, and like Staashi said, as long as you both have security, and trust, then to hell what anyone else says. My reading caused some arguments and hurt between my man and I. I realized my husband was not like any one of those jerks I was reading about, and I had to stop reading about them, and comparing. Yes, the possibility of being used is there, but not everyone is a user. Keep your eyes open, and be smart. Go with your gut feelings, and remember, for every horror story, there is one with a beautiful outcome.

Why the inshalla? Have you coverted? That seems to be a trend as well, some women just have no backone.


....and this was uncalled for :unsure:
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-04-16 10:21:00
Middle East and North AfricaDialog about the relationship building
I find the men repulsive as well, but to expose your kids to that kind of life, and be ok with them following in your footsteps??? And the mouth on that 11 year old! I don't blame him for being angry with his mother. How are you supposed to get respect from your kids when you carry on like a teenager in heat?! Wow, I feel so dirty after watching that
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-06-04 19:25:00
Middle East and North AfricaDialog about the relationship building
This was disgusting to watch....as a mother, I was horrified at how they were acting with their children around :dead:
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-06-04 18:38:00
Middle East and North AfricaMorocco Consulate

Solid advice. I'm not aware of any female beneficiary ever being given a hard time in Casa, but for those USC women petitioning for male beneficiaries, we all say it time and time again here but really the best advice is to just know how much fraud the CO's see. Day in, day out. Try to see your case from the perspective of someone whose job puts them face-to-face with scammers and victims everyday, and keep that perspective in mind as you assemble evidence to rebut that presumption that your relationship is like all the others.


A woman in Morocco was in AP for 10 months...just got her visa recently.

http://www.visajourn...e.php?id=121419

Casa is generally easier on women.
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-06-06 15:10:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow have your children been with new hubby/fiancee?

I pray for everyone that your adjustments with your new husbands and your children come together as well as one can hope for. When one comes as a package deal, so to speak, you pray that the man who receives that package treats it with much love and respect. (F)


Absolutely, Staashi (L)
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-06-08 06:44:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow have your children been with new hubby/fiancee?

I think that any mom bringing someone over here needs to understand the impact of bringing someone new into the family unit. Too often, these relationships are all about the mom's desired and not enough about the kids. Also, with the divorce rate among these couples after status, its very important that the immigrant spouse realise their impact on the american kids as well. These relationships are a lot more involved because of the fact you are sponsoring someone, they are relocating from a foreign country etc, unlike meeting someone stateside and building a potential relationship or marriage. Too often, it seems as if the relationships do not really incorporate the kids..there is a lot more to parenting than talking on yahoo or skype, and boom, someone is a dad. So many of these guys are not emotionally prepared, as much as we would like to think they are, to come over here, adjust to a new life and then all of the sudden, have a kid thrust on them.

Having been through this journey and I am now 6 years into it, I would advise anyone marrying from overseas like this, petitioning for a foreign spouse to make sure your kids have some kind of support system or counseling. When things are good, they are very very good but when they go south, things can go very badly and yes, it does affect your kids. If the foreign spouse is only it in for papers, that affects the kids for a lifetime. My children became very attached to the man I married. He on the other hand had swung back and forth between caring about them to just caring about himself.
I think that these relationships , if handled incorrectly can cause permanent damage to kids. These men that we are petitioning over, some have never been alone in their whole life, then to be thrust all of the sudden into a new culture with new people and kids to take care of and nurture. I think taking the whole transition very seriously is a given and also its important that the foreign spouse understand just how important it is to be a good step parent to the american kids. I have met very few mena who have been divorced from their american sponsors that continue to keep in touch with the step kids after divorce. I think there is a general perception that perhaps we are more used to divorce etc and its not a big deal to leave or cut off contact afterwards


It is quite brave of you to assume that people who sponsor foreign spouses don't think of their children first. I don't normally take anything personal on this site, but how dare you assume that I, or anyone else, puts our children on the back burner for our own needs. Some people certainly do, but I am not one of them. You know nothing about me, or many other people on this site. My sons needs and what is best for him are always the forefront of my thoughts. I would never let a man come before him, and as much as I love my husband, his needs are second to my son's needs, and he has always accepted this. I am also inclined to not take advice from a person who let her and her kids be abused over and over again by a horrible man. The day my husband tries to manipulate/control/abuse me or my son, his azz is out of the house. I don't care how much I love him, I just don't roll like that. Next time you should choose your words better...just because you let yourself/continue to let yourself be manipulated by a man is your problem, and does not mean that every foreign spouse will be like that. Men/people will treat you the way you LET them treat you. And yes, I was in a manipulative/abusive relationship once....I had the sense to get the hell out, in case anyone thinks I don't know what I am talking about.
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-06-07 15:11:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow have your children been with new hubby/fiancee?
My son is 7... Him and my husband had a pretty solid relationship over the years, but finally meeting in person....the look on his face at the airport said it all. Thank God I captured it on film. We are still wayyyy early in this adjustment phase, but so far, those 2 adore each other. My husband started caring for him before/after school a week after getting here. They have a routine. They ride bikes together and horse around. My husband went to the dentist with him this morning, as my son requested he be right next to him during his cleaning. We also had their end of the year class party today, and my son was so happy to introduce his stepdad to his classmates My husband has been very supportive, cheering him on at all his baseball games, helping him with his homework and such. I really couldn't have asked for a better relationship between them.

Edited by tany1157, 05 June 2012 - 11:07 PM.

tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-06-05 23:06:00
Middle East and North Africai 130 denied after second interview
The consulate told my husband not to bring anything to this last interview, and all went well. He did bring a photo album though.

Edited by tany1157, 10 June 2012 - 07:37 PM.

tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-06-10 19:37:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow tall are you & your MENA so?

No debate, just wondering because I really thought petite referred to height or maybe just in the clothing world? And would this really be the most ridiculous thing ever to be debated in MENA? :D


you're right, petite is height, but even if I was 5 feet, I still wouldn't consider myself petite because of my curves! (just my personal choice, even if it isn't the mainstream thought!)
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-04-30 14:04:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow tall are you & your MENA so?

Your'e a trooper going there with the weight....hahaha I was contemplating on my 5.7 height not being model tall and embarrassed not to post it... :whistle:
he is taller but I cant remember it in cm right now.
I do know he has a thing of being proud to lift me and does it more often because.... It bugs me, I am not dainty in body weight :innocent: .



Tany you are so petite!!! :)

Petite?! :blush: thank you darling, but that's my mom at 5'0" ( my dad is 6'3"). I have wayyyy to many curves and way too much butt to be petite :lol: Thank god my husband's into that :P
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-04-30 12:50:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow tall are you & your MENA so?
I'm 5'5 ( I felt like a monster amongst all the short women in his family) and he is 6'2
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-04-30 10:23:00
Middle East and North AfricaUpdates
I'm sorry about your father Mounir :( It really stinks to watch your parents get sick, it's a daily struggle for him, and there's nothing anyone can say to make him better. Interviews went well, but now have to wait for them to review....the hard part for him is the references. He worked for a man in Morocco, but who the heck is gonna call a man in Morocco who doesn't speak english? Thank God the manager at the restaurant he interviewed at says he knows many Moroccans, and knows they are very smart workers. It looks promising, and it will be good for now.
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-08-09 15:22:00
Middle East and North AfricaUpdates

I think the sleep deprivation is finally getting to Mohammed but he wont admit it. This week alone, he had a car accident and caused significant damage but he is okay, he thought he was off work last Thursday, look at his work schedule that night and realized he was suppose to work. Then Sunday, he thought he was off work again, slept all day, looked at his schedule again and clearly he was not off work again. His boss was okay with what happen and is letting him make up the hours which to me makes him very lucky. He has lost almost 10 pounds now since the start of Ramadan and it shows. He eats really well when he is allowed to eat, but work keeps him busy and he is always moving, so the calories he eat, he just works them off I guess. I am a bit worried about him though, but he reassures me every thing is okay.

I totally understand the whole bakery thing with no air conditioning. I use to decorate wedding cakes, etc. and we didn't have good air conditioning as well to keep up with all the ovens going on inside. Between baking bread, cakes, cookies and all the pastries it was just a HOT place to work. Eventually, I became co owner and decided to install better air conditioning and things got so much better and more enjoyable for the workers and the people who came to eat our lovely treats. I miss those days....


Ohh that is so scary (about the accident) :( I hope everything works out fine. I WISH they would put an AC in the bakery, it's pretty nasty coming home to work with your clothes soaked from the sweat :dead: We were just realizing it has only been 3 months since he got here, but feels like a year!! So many things come up in life, but we just keep dealing with them as they come, that's all you can do I guess. Hoping to hear some good news from either of his interviews tomorrow!
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-08-07 11:07:00
Middle East and North AfricaUpdates
I did fast for 3 days straight to see what it was like. He didn't expect me to do it, but said he was so proud I tried. How have your spouses dealt with highly physical jobs in a very hot place?? I work in a kitchen with no AC, and it gets about 110 F in there, which is why I couldn't keep on. I'm always running back and forth and lifting. I was worried about passing out at work with no water. My husband says God always sees how hard people try, but don't let yourself pass out. Im not hardcore about it, but wondering for those that are. Thanks for the smiles!
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-08-06 06:20:00
Middle East and North AfricaUpdates
It has been almost 3 months since my husband arrived, and wow, have we been through a lot! About 10 days after his arrival, my father almost passed away, and even though he survived, he is not the same person he was before (physically and mentally) I was so thankful to have the support from my husband during such a horrible time for my family. He has bonded so well with everyone, and we are so grateful for that.

It has been 2 months since receiving his GC, and STILL no work. He has had a few interviews, and has 2 more next week, so we are keeping our fingers crossed. We have had an interesting time getting ourselves situated into daily married life, and things are on the right track. With Ramadan here, he has taught me so much Moroccan cooking, and I have become a pro almost over night! He is a tad homesick during this time, but we are making our own traditions, and he seems to be quite happy spending his Ramadan with my son and I.

My son and him have totally hit it off. I am thanking God for that. We are currently staying with my parents, but are trying to get on our own, since living with my mom has made for some friction with my husband, as she doesn't understand how hard finding a job is right now, and doesn't understand exactly why he needs to fast all day. The language barrier is hard too, as she has misunderstood a few things he has said, and has taken it like English is his first language :wacko:

Besides that though, our little family is doing well. We are looking forward to having our own home, and having a family. The adjusting hasn't been perfect, but I have to say I'm pretty surprised at how well he is taking the change. He always had pretty realistic views of change, and is open to anything new. The one big shock to him was how expensive everything is. Everything. NOW he understands why even though it seems like I make "good" money compared to over there, it is nothing in relation to the cost of living here. I am so thankful he finally sees that, as he never completely "got" it just by me telling him (which was totally frustrating at times). He has been quite helpful around the house, and have taught him how to mow the lawn. Teaching him how to drive has been quite a task. I think it would be easier if my car wasn't a stick :P

So nothing exciting, I just know that some people have been wanting to hear from me, and I felt bad I didn't have the time to come here...I've even cut way back on my FB time, as things have been so busy for us. Even after the long haul we had in getting him here, it really is nothing compared to the real life events we have dealt with (we had some other personal scares with health and such during his short time here). In the end, lying next to him in bed with his arm around me, or going grocery shopping together, or having him in my car is something we dreamed about for over 3 years, and now it's a reality. It is so easy to take something that small for granted, unless you know how hard you fought just to have those times together.
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-08-04 15:19:00
Middle East and North AfricaCasa has his passport...
#######?!? :huh:
tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-08-12 17:36:00
Middle East and North AfricaDenied

Tany

LOL you remembered that wow., sometimes I have to go back and reread my trips as its been a while back.


t


Just to say a few things to GGG1975...........

As someone who knows the interview process very well coming out of Morocco, visits are by far so important in this process. It's very rare to hear of a spouse/fiance being interviewed in the USA via telephone, but I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to tell our story and be the one on the hot seat. I was ask to tell about our relationship from the day we met online, to all my visits, his family history, etc. This interview took about 30 minutes.

We had every red flag but if not for my visits and taking our relationship so slow, I am sure we would have been denied. Seriously, I think at the time, we were the only couple interviewing in Morocco with more red flags imaginable and still to this day possibly the worse case of red flags.

I would also like to say as I have said to others here from personal experience, the interview itself is passable, but the past history of what the CO finds out about the Immigrant is another story itself. I know for a FACT, that the immigrants past online activity can be accessed, deleted accouts too. I am talking years back. If you need for me elaborate more, I can give details for sure. So though, you may not know everything about your significant other, I can tell you the Consulate does before they even set eyes on him. When you say, some are denied when they walk up to the window, well for good reason then, and this just justifies what I just said (they already know his story).

I hope everything works out for the both of you.....



Don't give me that much credit lady, I knew you had a few trips before your engagement, but had to sneak a peak to get the correct number of times. Lol

Edited by tany1157, 07 August 2012 - 07:51 PM.

tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-08-07 19:48:00
Middle East and North AfricaDenied
I also of course had a congressman on our case from the first denial. They can't do much, but if you have a good one, like we did, they followed us through to the end, and made inquiries on our behalf throughout the entire process. Always let the consulate know they had interest in our case, and they wanted a favorable outcome for us. The CO's are doing their jobs. Actually, when hubby and I were getting our evidence for the NOIR ready, we had to laugh at how we were when we first met...no wonder they thought we were just blinded by love....we fell hard and fast, we jumped in, and thankfully, the love is genuine, but many times, it isn't. The CO's suck sometimes, but they see way more than we ever will.

Edited by tany1157, 07 August 2012 - 10:58 AM.

tany1157FemaleMorocco2012-08-07 10:54:00