biggish data

QUOTE (S and S @ Apr 21 2008, 02:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am glad things are moving forward on my husband's refugee status since it will make him less dependent on me. They will even help him find work! Yet at least I know he will be with me for me and for nothing else though I have never doubted him in the least. Mostly I like that he is coming on refugee so no one else can say he married me for the visa. I get so sick of that question. They don't even know him, they just assume.

Yes I agree, I'm tired of my family thinking he is only with me for a visa. Plus I think it will do a lot for his self-esteem to know he is in the country on his own and is not beholden to anyone. I will probably always make more than him so it's a lot for a guy's ego to take.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-21 13:49:00

QUOTE (sereia @ Apr 21 2008, 12:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Absolutely! Its very exciting and wonderful to have your spouse finally here! I'm glad you are clear on what you are willing/not willing to accept. Buttttttttt... what will happen if he changes his mind? Are you going to just throw him back on a plane if he doesn't like your pet, your male friends, or (insert thing here)? Trust me, its not that easy. I had things I was crystal freaking clear on. But once he got here and things changed...its not so easy to say you still demand something and they demand the opposite. Then what?

I won't throw him out over the cat but I wouldn't get rid of my cat either. I would just give him the choice to live with a cat or not. I wouldn't force him to do something he wouldn't want to do. Hopefully, my husband will get refuge status therefore his ability to stay will not depend on me. No pressure on either of us.

There are many things I will compromise on and he knows that and he's the same but he also understands there are some things that are non-negotiable. We've discussed them. When I was there he tried me a couple of times though he could ge3t me to change my mind but that's not easy trust me.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-21 13:35:00

QUOTE (sereia @ Apr 21 2008, 11:42 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

For those of you who's husband's are not here yet but are posting in this thread...

you're ALL going to be surprised! Just because you discussed things ahead of time, agreed to things, or observed how they are in their home countries...it sure does not mean they are going to be like that here! Good or bad. But don't expect it to go just as it was when you visited him (or even if you LIVED with him!).

Well that's part of the excitement isn't it.

You're right there is no telling how things will be when they get here because you can't control anyone. All I can be clear on is what is and isn't acceptable to me and to be clear in my head what I will and won't accept.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-21 11:07:00

I asked my husband if he's ready to deal with women flirting with him? He was like no big deal. I don't think he thinks it will ever happen. It's going to be some kind of ride when he gets here. LOL

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-21 09:00:00

QUOTE (brnidokiegurl @ Apr 20 2008, 08:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Also one thing i get often is the cost of things. He feels this attitude to get a pair of jeans for say 60. and i say no way will i spend that much for jeans. They feel (which is true to some point) i think the more you pay and brand that they will be ohhhhhhhh so fine. I told him only to make himself feel special because no one else will know the cost or care here. Maybe me but i have to buy what i can afford....and for sure he cant afford this thought there and i for sure told him get rid of it before come here.

My hubby is the opposite. When I was in Jordan there was an upscale restaurant in the hotel but it was a fight because after he saw the prices.... and it didn't matter that I was going to pay or not.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-20 21:08:00

QUOTE (morocco4ever @ Apr 20 2008, 06:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What is your situation? Did you have to sacrifice too? I know I had a much harder life than my husband in the aspect of being a single mother. Its not easy!

I've grown up poor most of my life. My dad was a raging alcoholic and my mom finally left him when I was 8. His life was definitely much harder than mine. I mean despite being a child of an alcoholic I was able to go on to get an advance degree. I have a career. However, it also makes me less likely to put up with certain stuff. I pray for my husband's sake he never uses the word 'forbids' in a discussion with me. It would not go over well with me.

However, I'm the baby in my family and can be quite spoiled. So i will expect his needs to nurture and take care of his family to be heaped on me.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-20 18:00:00

I think because my husband had to sacrifice most of his life to help support his family he is of the opinion it's his time now. We've had this discussion. so we will see. I'm not opposed to him helping his family with some of his money but if it requires some of my money then it will be a problem.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-20 17:16:00

My two closests friends in the last few years are two gay males so I realized it was a touchy topic that I needed to bring up early. I pointed out that I love these two guys and they have been nothing but supportive to me and they come with the package and they are always welcome in my home. If that is not acceptable to him then I'm not the one for him. I meant it/mean it.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-20 15:12:00

So as you see this is a discussion about everyday life. If you can't control yourself or stay on topic please start your own threads. Thanks

Some issues

Friends of the Opposite Sex
Foods
Household duties

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-20 15:08:00

Muta marriage in Egypt

Thanks and good luck!

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-19 01:32:00

Akram Arrived Safely

Congrats to them! Looking forward to when I can say the same

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-23 07:56:00

REAL JOB

Congrats! Now can you help me find a job.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-25 22:41:00

Just checked and Vonage doesn't go to Jordan or Egypt and then even if it did it didn't include cell phones only land lines.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-26 21:57:00

My hubby doesn't have a computer but I wonder about Vonage. I'm going to look that up.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-26 21:52:00

I like to use calling cards because I like to use my cell phone and call whenever I feel like it if I'm home or not. I know Time Warner cable offers an unlimited international calling plan for $20 a month but for most countries you must call a land line and not a cell phone. My husband only has a cell phone.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-16 18:06:00

I go to this site and there are many options especially to call cell phones http://www.callingcards.com

QUOTE (Shawna Mahmoud @ Apr 16 2008, 01:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I go to a website www.callingcardstation.com and I purchase an STI Extreme Africa Card. I get 56 minutes when I call him on his cell phone and 40 minutes when I call him in the home.

Its pretty good, we have had a few problems in the past but it seems to be the best one

A friend of mine also told me about a "Magic Jack" Its VOIP (like Vonage) You pay $39.95 for the year and get an area code that is in the area you live in. You send it to them and they can connect it to their PC and call you direct for free.
I haven't bought one yet but I will let you know how it works. He seems to like it and calls his family in Senegal with no problem.

people can also do this on Skype

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-16 13:11:00

How many MENA members still in AP?

Oh man, AP/AR sounds like pure torture.

May Riyad and I NEVER have to experience that. People who make it through that process are indeed strong people.

Edited by Rocketta, 03 May 2008 - 02:41 PM.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-05-03 14:38:00

How many MENA members still in AP?

Oh, thanks.

but I'm still lost!

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-05-02 13:00:00

How many MENA members still in AP?

what does AP stand for?

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-05-02 07:54:00

QUOTE (bridget @ Apr 28 2008, 02:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If you tell him what a major turn on it is to watch a man do the dishes that might just do the trick too

I just told my husband the other day that a man's place is in the Kitchen.

He wasn't buying it...

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-29 23:41:00

Well I know how to make my husband happy right now. It involves a phone and a little play acting.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-23 23:06:00

QUOTE (chaishai @ Apr 22 2008, 08:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

would this melinda chick be ok with her mohammed hitting her even lightly?

if my husband hit me EVER i would kick his a$$ right back and then likely divorce him! i am in way better shape than he is!

I know that's right. I asked my husband if he ever heard of the burning bed. I then explained if he were ever to hit me, I wouldn't go to sleep if I was him.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-22 20:26:00

Funny Stuff!

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-22 15:32:00

travel in jordan

I don't know. I saw plenty of women in cabs by themselves when I went this year. I went there alone but I did meet up with someone.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-29 20:46:00

MENA WOMEN: What kind of jobs are your husbands doing/looking into?

QUOTE (S and S @ Apr 24 2008, 01:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Rocketta @ Apr 24 2008, 07:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (S and S @ Apr 24 2008, 01:04 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Rocketta @ Apr 23 2008, 11:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

As an African-American I would love to go through life thinking as long as I show up and do the best I can that I have a legitimate shot at all jobs but it's just not the reality I live in and sadly it's not the reality that our MENA husbands will live in either. That's America.

Maybe one day I'll post the study that showed white males with criminal records got more call backs than minorities without criminal records.

That study was very interesting. Thanks for posting. I have noticed since I changed my last name to my husband's name that people treat me differently. I have actually had people ask me if I am middle eastern based on my name even though I don't have middle eastern features or an accent. One guy joked today that I should have gone through a metal detector today before coming in his office.

Yeah I can imagine. I hope you rolled your eyes at his joke.

Yes, I did roll my eyes. The comment came from a Mexican of all people, lol.

uh uh, I would've had to say, "OH NO YOU DIDN'T"!

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-24 15:44:00

MENA WOMEN: What kind of jobs are your husbands doing/looking into?

QUOTE (S and S @ Apr 24 2008, 01:04 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Rocketta @ Apr 23 2008, 11:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Maybe one day I'll post the study that showed white males with criminal records got more call backs than minorities without criminal records.

Yeah I can imagine. I hope you rolled your eyes at his joke.

Rocketta

Female

Iraq

2008-04-24 07:00:00

K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports

K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports

I can't believe it! I got the CRIS email. We have the NOA2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm beyond thrilled. We got the NOA1 on August 21, 2008. Then the NOA2 comes on March 21, 2009 (email came this morning though--March 23, 2009). I guess the 21st of the month is a good day for us!!!

Wooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooo!

I'mstillwaiting

Not Telling

Mexico

2009-03-23 06:48:00

K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports

Please see this post for an interesting VSC development.

Thanks!

http://www.visajourn...howtopic=185265

I'mstillwaiting

Not Telling

Mexico

2009-03-16 13:37:00

K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports

QUOTE (Akiko @ Mar 16 2009, 07:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm with you.
I've been waiting for over 6 months.
i don't know how I'm making it through... but its been pretty crazy lately.
Hope things go well for you. Best wishes.

On Thursday, March 19, we will hit day 210 since we received the NOA1. I'm confident that the NOA2 must be coming soon, but I hope we won't have to wait too much longer.

I hope everyone can continue to be patient as we wait for the ever elusive NOA2.

I'mstillwaiting

Not Telling

Mexico

2009-03-16 13:00:00

K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports

QUOTE (Caroline_L @ Mar 12 2009, 06:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So is there anyone else left here besides me? (and Sara

)

You aren't alone. I'm still here.

203 days and counting.

I'mstillwaiting

Not Telling

Mexico

2009-03-12 19:47:00

K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports

QUOTE (Leo and Lioness @ Mar 8 2009, 02:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh Sara is it only me and you left?

I'm still here, keeping you both company.

I'mstillwaiting

Not Telling

Mexico

2009-03-08 11:02:00

K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports

Congrats to the new NOA2 recipients. I'd love to be able to include myself in that group, but we are still waiting. Sigh.

Edited by I'mstillwaiting, 07 March 2009 - 10:56 PM.

I'mstillwaiting

Not Telling

Mexico

2009-03-07 22:56:00

K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports

I understand everyone's frustration. I feel badly about being upset about how long our journey is taking when I see others who have been waiting for over a year for the NOA2.

On Monday, we will be at day number 200 since our NOA1 was issued. I hope that is a milestone we do not have to reach; however, I realize that more likely than not we will reach it.

I'mstillwaiting

Not Telling

Mexico

2009-03-04 14:09:00

K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports

QUOTE (mhaze @ Mar 3 2009, 09:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

we received an email from CRIS and we are approved..
after so many months of waiting...

Congratulations on this fantastic news! I'd love to get our NOA2 . . .

I'mstillwaiting

Not Telling

Mexico

2009-03-03 21:56:00

K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports

QUOTE (Corinthians @ Feb 27 2009, 09:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (I'mstillwaiting @ Feb 27 2009, 06:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

2. Based on what I've heard about security checks, do you think it is plausible that I (the petitioner) could be responsible for things taking so long? I am an attorney, and here in NC before being allowed to sit for the bar exam, you must submit fingerprints as a part of your bar application. Although I have not been informed that we are dealing with security/background checks, could THIS be the a possible explanation for why were are still waiting for the NOA2?

I think it is possible. I had to have a state and federal background check for my job along with fingerprints to the FBI I think and we just made it out of background checks after 3 months there.

Thanks for your feedback.

I guess we will all have to turn our attention to March and hope that the new month will bring lots more NOA2s.

I'mstillwaiting

Not Telling

Mexico

2009-02-27 22:52:00