Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
National Visa Center (Dept of State)	Open letter to the United States Visa processing dept	Signed Frustrated Dear Frustrated At last a kindred spirit ! the trouble is that once we learn to game the system using James' shortcuts , we will be spewed out of the other end of the sausage machine and we won't look back - blotting it out and leaving it to the others who follow in our wake to suffer the slings and arrows of this administrative tripe factory I have a theory that it can't be this bad by design . It was put in place to lengthen the line at a time in 1801 or something when there were 3 people working at uscis/nvc There can be no other explanation other than to make the line a year long to sicken off the uncommitted immigrants It can't be this bad without an evil conspiracy theory - can it ? Why can't they just send out a ds-230 and add the checking fee of 70 dollars to the IV fee ? and just send the IV form and say 'clip a check to the front' I mean what is all this sending out bills first ? they could send a bill , for sending the bill, for sending the bill... Why do they have a PO box number which cannot be accessed by any courier company in the world ? What is wrong with them ? I could have made the whole place look space age in the beauty and fluidity and ease and efficiency of it's systems when I was 15 and covered in spots and wondering if girls made rude noises too.. Actually the space age was 40 years ago - can you image this lot getting to the moon ? Thish ish the en vee shee presh 3 to raise your blood preshure, presh 5 to give yourshelf a shtroke, presh 9 to visit the tunnel of deshpair where you will weep alone until we get out bottoms in gear I am sliding into a cantankerous old age and I might just become a resident complainer once I become a USC instead of a UKS (subject). I might make a hobby out of tormenting them... Look out USCIS/NVC - I am coming to getcha !	Captain Oates	Male	England	2007-06-18 14:12:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)	Got my case no.!!! Can i now email the NVC about the agent??	The message you get before anything is generated is that the NVC has received your case and you should hear from them in 6-8 weeks. Once they generate the DS-3032 and the AOS bill, they automated system will let you know that it was sent to you. Yep pretty much that ^^, before it was saying case no. first then the time and date it was assigned.. then they'd say case no. again.. NOW.. it says case no. then immediatly after that it says the DS3032 and AOS fee bill was generated and sent on blah blah blah and then when they accept your email, it will say your immigrant visa fee bill has been sent... keep calling tuesday mornings as the previous message is taken off once they have a new message it must be really early as i called 3am eastern and it was there	Captain Oates	Male	England	2007-06-20 09:37:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)	Got my case no.!!! Can i now email the NVC about the agent??	WOOHOO!! They generated it! I've sent the email already! fingers crossed they accept it yippee ! you might get the email reply late (very) on friday and get generated next tuesday !!!!! good stuff !	Captain Oates	Male	England	2007-06-19 08:52:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)	Got my case no.!!! Can i now email the NVC about the agent??	Aw, I'm sorry! *hugs* This seems to be the longest NVC wait though ... once the AoS bill and DS - 3032 are generated things WILL move faster. Look at my timeline, lots of action! Hang in there! just called NVC.. still nothing :'( show me some light people's!! I miss my wife n kids so much Yeah your right, your timeline does seem pretty speedy after the first stage, how long are you thinking its gonna take before your interview? I agree with James that you are either going to get the agent form generated next Monday or the Monday after that ... we checked ours 8am UK time this Tuesday 12th June and it was done - but we got our NVC number on the 18th May so it can be 3 weeks+3 days so don't panic if it isn't next Tuesday and yes the process does seem to be speeding up now we can DO something ! even if its only to watch UPS screwing the AOS fee bill in Kentucky by mis-sorting it (according to their tracking system 15 minutes ago) So far we have had a slow leg or a mess up at every single stage but it's history now and it's moving ! Wet weekends are for checking the AOS form a million ways up to make sure it's correct - can't wait to mail it... I know about the stress of this thing as it is now our THIRD time through the US system plus ONE into the UK (long story) - that's why I am NOT doing it again - When I get there, I will stay until my ashes are blasted into space from cape Kennedy - and I will wait until our 2nd anniversary to enter the US so I can get a 10 year unconditional green card and then that's that ! roll on november 5 Seriously, it will speed up and it will be ok alan	Captain Oates	Male	England	2007-06-14 11:02:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)	Got my case no.!!! Can i now email the NVC about the agent??	Hooray - agent form /aos fee generated - I had a rope ready in case it wasn't paying UPS £32 to take the aos fee to missouri and the email is winging it's way... Apparently the $70 fee can sit at NVC for up to a month before they generate the AOS form but I paid the extra mail anyway so I know I have done all I can nothing has gone to 'a good' timetable so far, but people have had terrible experiences along the way so a month or so behind isn't the end of the world... So to those following on - there is no faster cut than James' so you just have to wait before sending emails etc - but there is no harm speaking to the operator once a week just to reassure yourself that your understanding of where you are in the process is correct ok off to sit in the window sill waiting for the UPS driver to arrive... rain forecast for tomorrow so going to check aos form and IV form barcodes etc over and over again - it's got to be - perfect ! alan	Captain Oates	Male	England	2007-06-12 03:44:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)	Got my case no.!!! Can i now email the NVC about the agent??	we got our case number may 18th and have not got an agent form generated yet- 99% sure it will be tomorrow but that is 3 weeks+ ! also our USCIS petition was NOA2 on 31st May - so it was almost 3 weeks to the nvc number This is going on forever ! I got the case number through the mail yesterday- so that took 3 weeks+ to get here ! so the visa fee bill will take that long after they mail it month after plodding month	Captain Oates	Male	England	2007-06-11 08:21:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)	Still waiting for I-864 bill & DS3032 to be generated...	Vylex, thanks! It's a BIG relief to have the paperwork done, but I can't say I stopped worrying I recall reading about someone who tried to scan her barcode but it didn't work. Maybe it needs to be activated first or something. I'm curious how you do with that I am going to need Medicare in the arrivals hall at this rate ! Oh, you poor thing! And the Royal Mail is going on STRIKE? Aw, jeez. yes its only a 1 day strike but it will knock the schedules out for days.... my AOS fee which they said would take 5 days is still not delivered to nvc - now 8 days - it was 10 when i mailed the original I-130 . Carolyn says all these 'special' fast secure services take longer than normal air mail deliveries which seems nonsense but it's true ! Well Paris Hilton has just been on the telly as she comes out of prison and said 'don't serve the time - let the time serve you' I know she is no einstein but I think she might have said or repeated something that we USCIS/NVC waiters can use - there is plenty of stuff we need to do and need to know before emigrating - so if we concentrate on doing that then perhaps the time will go quicker and we will be better equipped and informed when we arrive ... alan Edited by saywhat, 28 June 2007 - 02:43 AM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2007-06-28 02:41:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)	Still waiting for I-864 bill & DS3032 to be generated...	Heya Saywhat, Thanks for the heads-up on the Tax Authorisation form. Soz about your mail problems. My hubby is on his way back home now so at least we can send some of the things we need to send faster now. One question: you say grit your teeth for another four months - is that what you expect it to take? If so, that means I can expect it to be about November for me? Goodness, I was thinking September/October now it looks as though I'll be lucky to get there by your Thanksgiving..! Well actually a couple of things will slow us down (more when you see our progress so far ) Firstly we are both in the UK and mailing and being mailed from here Then Royal Mail's airsure system says 5 days but takes 10 to the NVC - and NVC takes exactly 2 weeks to come to us Couriers cannot deliver to a PO BOX in the states - as we found out losing lots of time and money(told em to destroy check etc) Then we will be doing London interview which takes forever So I reckon we will be lucky to hit mid October - then I think these full immigrant visas do not get mailed out same day like K1's - some people say it takes weeks.. So we will probably be getting the visa the day before we HAVE to fly 5th November We will have to book tickets and ship everything on the assumption it will be ok If I fly 3rd November I get a conditional visa - if I fly 5th I get 10 year unconditional If I fly 7th november or after I will not have been there 5 years when I hit 65 so I wont get Medicare So its really critical that I hit the 5th November - I only have a 2 day window...so all these delays mean the tension is rising with every day - and now the Royal Mail are going on strike so I cant even get the check to NVC by regular airmail ! I am going to need Medicare in the arrivals hall at this rate ! jeez	Captain Oates	Male	England	2007-06-27 11:25:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)	Still waiting for I-864 bill & DS3032 to be generated...	You mean the new DS-230 coversheet with the blue lady liberty corner? Yes, we used it. The tiny barcode took me FOREVER John printed it out in colour (James said it may or may not matter but I took no risks!) and it looked mighty spiffy. And thanks, twas such a very happy ending of the day Erica, Did you use the new version of James' shortcuts for the DS-230? I'm planning on using them as soon as the automated systems says that it has been generated, so I was just curious. Congrats on having your case closed by the way! Diana Congrats Erica ! 'And I've looked over, and I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you.' (martin luther king) , but very well done.. You must be very pleased to be done with this stress.. alan	Captain Oates	Male	England	2007-06-23 03:33:00
National Visa Center (Dept of State)	Still waiting for I-864 bill & DS3032 to be generated...	Usually it takes 2-3 weeks for NVC to generate DS 3032 and AOS Fee Bill after the case number. Please check today, maybe your DS 3032 and AOS Fee Bill are already generated today! Good Luck. Thanks guys. Nup, still nothing but that damn 6-8week message...*sigh* Hang in there! I think you might get that awaited update this coming Tuesday too! I just received my case number today...yay! I'm right on your heels hehe. Are you going to do Jame's Shortcuts (barcode)? At first I wasn't but now I think I am going to go for it. I want to cut down the mail time as much as possible. James's short cuts are a bit fiddly - but use his latest version and use the'paint' program (part of standard xp) to do your bar codes.. I tried using adobe photoshop which is a pro program but doesnt work as well as the simple 'paint' program in xp they are fiddly but try a few things - like stretching them to fit the box on the form - and it can be done with a bit of patience- and then check em to death to make sure you havent left the embassy as bogota and you have changed the name and date (to the generation date)- yes i am still checking mine - has to be perfect..... version 2 >>>> http://www.visajourn...100#entry885374 Thanks for the link! I am comfortable using different graphics editing programs but I agree that paint will be more than adequate for this purpose. I am also quadruple checking. I'll probably dig up a barcode scanner to verify it reads it ok too. I don't want any unnecessary delays due to preparation error. oh yes and James made an important post as one of the forms needs updating from his original post http://www.visajourn...100#entry896128 and there is still a little doubt about whether the tax authorisation form needs sending - most people are saying 'no' but I can't see any harm in sending it - they can just bin it...there are so many permutations to people's circumstances that sod's law says 99% of people don't need one but we do ! Just when I found royal mail 'airsure' to get my fees to a US po box number, the royal mail are threatening to strike ! It just shows that until you actually get the stamp at the POE, we can't relax... If they do strike i will courier the stuff to Carolyn's mom in Milwaukee and ask her to mail it from there. Actually I am getting pig sick with the whole thing now but we are well on the way so just need to grit our teeth for another 4 months.. Edited by saywhat, 21 June 2007 - 12:19 PM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2007-06-21 12:18:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	You counted the chips? OK, so we are trying to get pregnant also, will you be my delivery boy? Just pick up what you wife craves, X2. We are trying to get pregnant ? Hey take in singles (cricketing term). First you, then him and then live on the newspaper fees ! You could use the BP method which is like carpet bombing the problem. I am sure the little blighter will arrive eventually but be careful what you wish for - I went to school with kids and they are 'orrible They become greater probs as they get older - what with their breast cancers and divorces and bankruptcies and car crashes - and then it starts compounding with all the grandchildren's woes . Sorry for the dash of social realism there, but enjoy your time before it all starts... This is not a policy of despair or a half empty thing - just the opposite - it means we can be happy with any situation as there are two sides to everything. In the words of cat stevens - 'If I ever lose my legs, I won't have to walk no more'. He meant 'any more', but I allow him that coz the sentiment is valid.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-06 11:07:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Alan, I think you need to share with us the chat-up lines that resulted in these responses I was slumming as you can imagine as I am too sophisticated for my shirt usually.. The foff granddad one was elicited by "hello" The 'Get me a drink or I will glass you' was a response to "good evening" I have had a great one shot at me (at 2.45am) "ok they will be closing soon - what have you got in the fridge" One I have heard used but never used myself is "Get your jacket on, you've been pulled" I was a total coward at the game and used the diagonal approach that leopards use on antelopes to get nearer while appearing to cross. Then I would chat the notsopretty one who was standing next to the intended target. It's not nice but I didn't invent it and it's evolution in action. That's how the pretty ones got pretty in the first place. Darwin figured it. The best one that I used was actually totally sincere. I said "Are you Steve's sister" - I really thought she was. She looked at me and said "What's in it for me if I am". I took it from there but jeez she was a top banana loony as it turned out. I couldn't tell that story. I think she turned me to GIN	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-05 19:54:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	The lesbian ploy won't work in Toronto... ok story time: Bradford West Yorkshire December 1988. Leeds Road, Funny's bar. So I have been staking out this bird for about 3 weeks - chatting her up etc and I thought I would check out the position with her friend. So while the target is in the ladies, I say to her friend - "You know I quite like Margaret - thinking of asking her out when she comes back from the ladies" Large short haired companion says "You needn't bother, we are lesbians". I though fair does, two hers playing hymns without an organ. I accepted it without thinking it was a put off - I mean what woman in her right mind would want to cold shoulder me - I mean come on ! Anyway, 10 mins later, short haired jobby goes for a wee and Margaret comes sidling over and whispers - "She told me what you said while I was in the ladies, and I want you to know I am not a committed lesbian". Then she said "She had better not catch me talking to you or I am trouble". Anyway, I decided to let no man put asunder what an evolutionary hiccup had brought together. Also, the short haired one was scary, so I skipped the idea but stayed friends with em. New year's eve 1988, my last memory before weaving home was standing on a really tall bar stool, downing my sixth pint and covered in shaving foam and with a lesbian sitting on each bicep while I did my Schwarzenegger impression... I thought of all the happily married men and how they were spending their new year's eve and I thought - "this is different - life ain't so bad after all" No one has ever used the lesbian ploy on me - though I have had "F*** off granddad" (She wasn't even my granddaughter !) That was better than "Buy me a drink or I will glass you" which I also experienced and which is rejection and potentially wad bruising at the same time. Edited by saywhat, 05 June 2010 - 06:50 PM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-05 18:47:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	You have an amazing turn of phrase! And yeah, the gay bars tend to be on Church, but there are some on Yonge too! Actually, deep suddy baths hold more surprises with elephants than dolphins...I speculate... Yes when I was 26 my boss said I had a turn of phrase - and that it would be my downfall one day and to stop putting things in writing. We used to break into his desk drawer on night shift and give ourselves ticks on his personnel assessment sheet. Actually I didn't coz I'm a good boy - but the other guys did.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-04 09:42:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	My country has been used for that a LOT. You foreign degenerates, stop despoiling my country! Got a suite with a big jackoozi at the falls - threw a load of suds in and played like dolphins on acid. Final classy touch was a bottle of gin and a bottle of tonic but I forgot the lime Nobody's perfect Lot of gay bars up Yonge and I went in one by mistake while I was waiting for her to land. I was concentrating on the menu and missed the coded messages outside. Met by a sea of vests (can't remember the American/Canadian word) and padded plastic pants and moustaches but escaped with my batty intact. Edited by saywhat, 04 June 2010 - 09:28 AM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-04 09:28:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Alan, can I just say that Julian's mere presence around here has made you practically a saint in my eyes. Maven - enjoy your trip - I love Toronto! Rush town, after all. And I'm jealous you get to meet julez - take piccys!!! Wow I have a lot thank him for ! I use to use Toronto as a knocking shop when I couldn't enter the US during K1. Fiance would fly Milwaukee - toronto and I flew Manchester - Toronto I used to delight in telling the Japanese lady on immigration that I was using her country for sex for 3 days. Should have seen her face. I did that at least 4 times Elmcity - have a good un and say hello to Yonge street for me ! Edited by saywhat, 04 June 2010 - 09:07 AM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-04 09:06:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Dr.Pepper became my soda of choice after so many waitstaff thought I'd asked for cake when I wanted a coke. One even went on to say they had coke flavoured cake at one point I got a cheese sandwich when I asked for a cheese burger I am sick of my wife not understanding what I am saying - Its been 5 years now and its what what what all the time. My buddy says I have BBC English too - I am not a muttering provincial. My buddy comes from Barnsley though ....	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 19:58:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	I'm going to reference the other thread, and if it gets me a ban, then so be it. As one of the more vocal anti-Julians from early on, I say now we just let them be. I think we need to be in their shoes to understand the fiasco that is their relationship...and yeah, he seems pompous, but he obviously puts up with a great deal as well...she shagged his best mate, brags about how good a shag she is in her blog, he bought her an effing Porche and she uses it to go on a romantic 'non date' with her ex, slept drunk at her ex's house, AND is the sole supplier of anti-Julian ammo that we all are using against him. How would any of you feel if your partner went running to random strangers on the internet daily and divulged all your shortcomings??? Put yourself in his shoes? Would you put up with that? Cman, fair's fair.. So perhaps they are perfect together, so let's just sit back and let em be...no one needs 'helping' here. Their situation is so crazy, I half think it's not real and this whole situation is contrived anyways, but that's for another day. Jeez he makes me sound understated - glad I missed it. saying 'the other thread ' is ok I reckon.. As in 'If it were not for the rules concerning parliamentary language, I would call you a supercilious git'	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 18:35:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	How did I know you were going to pick up on my sordid Lancastrian genes? I'm 100% American mutt. The only hypen in my identity is in my double-barrelled last name. If you were a real American, you wouldn't be double barreled - you would be at least semi-automatic. Them Lancastrian genes can be extracted at my clinic and sent back to whence they came but it's not painless (see the exorcist). I am not going to be a hyphenated American - as in English American - I am going to be a 2nd nation American. First the Indians, then the English, then the Americans. We were here before you guys !	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 18:30:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Ah, my English bit is actually quite small -- a great-great grandsomebody from Lancashire. My ancestors are Scots Irish and Irish, primarily, along with Basque, Belgian and mestizo Mexican. The Canadian bit is French Canadian, from near the border with Vermont. jeez where are you going to find a liver donor with those shuffled genes ? Never admit nuffink from Lancashire - I would rather admit a test tube union of a bonobo and pat robertson My grandmas dad was Michael Casson from Dublin - story is he was a fugitive sheep thief who fled to rural Yorkshire. His son opened the first topless bar in England. He was a 120 lb spiv complete with pin stripe suit, and a black hairline moustache. I am Danish/Norman/Saxon/Welsh/Irish from the (ex) kingdom of Eric Bloodaxe, with no immaculate conceptions recorded in the family. My imaginary friend is a north Korean dog farmer called wun yelp	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 18:14:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	I knew there was a reason I loved Confucius. Past tense ? - you were there ? Or did you go off him ? Edited by saywhat, 03 June 2010 - 12:31 PM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 12:29:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	You're a "glass is half empty" type of person, aren't you? *Note to self: make appointment with doctor Only half empty glasses get filled up - Confucius	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 12:02:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	I once went back to Saskatoon for a holiday - about 2 years after I moved to Toronto. There was a really good-looking guy at my old watering hole, he looked familiar, and talked to me like I knew him, so I talked with him for a while. After a bit of this, I finally said "I'm sorry, but I just can't remember your name". He looked at me, said "Mike", and I still couldn't quite place him. So, wandered back to my table of friends and proceeded to really enjoy the night. Next day I wake up and it hits me. I dated him, for about a month. He decided to date a friend of mine instead, which I was fine with for myself, because I considered him to be a conceited jerk and was about to move on myself. Was worried for my friend, but she really fell for him and wouldn't listen to me that he wasn't the be all and end all, and he ended up almost destroying her. Anyway, I got quite a giggle that this conceited jerk was totally forgotten by someone he had dated. Ah, comeuppance, you are heavenly. Course it could be the onset of alzheimer's	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 11:55:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	I had a friend who had a similar predicament. She finally settled on a nice story that crushed his spirit. She told him that after she had broken up with him and went with her then husband, she did it because he left her in a state of bewilderment. She then turned and wholeheartedly thanked him for making her realize through the course of their relationship, that she had no interest in men and that she was indeed a lesbian. Once a guy has been with a lesbian, he will never go back to hetros	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 11:38:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Nah, tell him that even if your current marriage didn't work out, you STILL wouldn't do him! Thing is he wouldn't believe that...any port in a storm	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 11:26:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Good one. I have appointed my friend Catherine to act as chaperone to make sure I don't let him get in my pants. God, he was a #######, but a ####### I would probably sleep with again with a bottle of wine coursing through my system. He looks a bit like a younger, Jewish James Nesbitt. Thanks Gemmie. Rab Nesbitt ? http://www.comedyuni...wallpaper04.jpg	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 11:15:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Yeah, looking forward to Toronto -- I leave tomorrow morning. Meeting up with the lovely Julez on Saturday which just so happens to be my birthday. Will check into that rooftop bar thing -- ta. A mite worried because my evil ex-boyfriend will be at the conference -- I dumped him for my husband, so every year he asks me how my marriage is going. Tell him it gets better and better every day ... nothing wrong with a little gratuitous cruelty every now and then - ask ####### Cheney	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 11:09:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	It might have been a penguin...you do look familiar! I know the difference - penguins have dirty habits and nuns ... well read this ! our local nunnery was shut down in the 12th century as they were keeping local workmen overnight at their brewery...doing some hookering, getting preggy and brewing more than allowed ! As usual Yorkshire shows the way>>> http://www.chooseyou...nt.asp?id=52132	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 11:07:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	We governance folk are also renowned drinkers, possibly because we are drawn from across the hard-drinkin' disciplines: lawyers, accountants, investment managers... Our annual convention is next week in Toronto and I expect to be drunk or hungover for three straight days. NOW I am impressed I once went on a sales do in Rome and I was red wine litred for 3 days - I remember the Pantheon and the Colosseum but that's it. I did see the Sistine chapel ceiling but i felt dizzy looking up and nearly fell backwards on a nun	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 10:58:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	And your feelings about GAAP and FASB? Hey I was doing generally accepted accounting principles and surfing the financial accounting standards board when inflation was 15% Constipated accountants don't need pills - they can work it out with a pencil I wasn't always one of them - I was a detective for years before - the two are not much different. Edited by saywhat, 03 June 2010 - 10:53 AM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 10:52:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	I kinda get his point though. One of my friends is literally addicted to piercings and tattoos, among which she has her ex-boyfriend's star-sign, another dedicated to another ex-boyfriend's suicide, and an entire upper arm sleeve of clouds (dedicated to her new found love of sky-diving... which incidentally, happens to be what her new boyfriend does). I sense a pattern brewing. heck, can't wait for when she becomes a volunteer oil slick sponge operator - coated seals and gasping cormorants all up her thighs - that will soon becomes so '10's'	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 10:49:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Um, saywhat, sweetie? I am 41 years old today. I don't think I will be alive in 40 years! I got the tattoo 15 years ago and haven't regretted it once. I get what you are saying, though. Mine is easily hidden with nylons, and it is unique and small enough that either a) it isn't noticed or b) they think it is cool. I had a senior position, and I just did not draw attention to it. Granted, my boss and I were known as interesting accountants - very unique in Canada! 41 is incredibly young - my son is 41 on 3rd January next and he needs bringing up again. Accountants have a bummer rap than tatt wearers - in fact we are incredibly exciting people ! Stands to reason - if you are an astronaut, all you want to do is veg out when you are not working. Accountants go wild when they are off duty ! They are scarier than Keith Richards (who is much older than me) I suppose an ankle one is ok coz he can't see it when your knees become his ear muffs - ooo I am naughty	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 10:45:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	I think my husband and I might never have split if I had a tat of a Spitfire on my breast, but the other one would have to have an Avro Lancaster on the other one. Also, down my spine several cars: Super Minx; Super Snipe; MGB GT; Triumph Spitfire; and maybe a Triumph Dolomite. As a BP share holder I could have : 'LOVE BP - HATE SHRIMPS' on my neck. But with my luck, BP would go bust and the oil mutated shrimps would take over the world and wreak their revenge	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 10:39:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	OOOOHHHHHHH If I ever get another one, I am getting one of Snoopy and the Red Baron on my breast! Thanks for the suggestion! Hows about two plates of jellow (jelly) - one on each flobalop Would look great during the charity marathon Seriously though, they are forever and the person you will be 40 years from now might hate em. Also, rightly or wrongly, people do stereotype tattoo wearers and assume x y z and they don't go down well (rightly or wrongly ) with many employers and might not go down well with your next spouse. Bit like smoking - nobody objects to a non-smoker, but many object to a smoker - so not smoking increases one's chance of a date by 300% . It's just playing the statistics of life and I didn't make the rules but I play by them for maximum advantage. Nobody thinks worse of a person with no tattoos but some people think worse of a person with tattoos. I play safe and it helps with jobs and meeting the in laws. I am sure you would say that your present spouse and in laws and employer are fine with it - but believe me when I say that all these things can change as we go through life and we need to position ourselves for the future whatever it may hold. How many popes or presidents or first ladies or prime ministers have tatts ? They know how prejudice and stereotyping works and they position accordingly. One of the nicest birds I ever had the pleasure of had a tatt on her shoulder. All the guys assumed she was a 'goer' or 'a good sport' from that and made a bee line for her. So my prejudices such as they are, are not the pont. The point is that the world makes inferences and has stereotypes, so why make life harder than it already is ? My first wife's brother in law had a big tatt on his forearm and his wife became a very senior person in her profession and paid to have it lasered. It looks awful - like he has been in a fire. Everyone knows what it is or was, so he has double trouble. Let me know whether an old person has convinced a young person and I will call the Guiness Book of Records	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-03 10:28:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	ankle/s eh... Well that fails the cranked neck test unless you are Dan Quayle or a shoe salesman. ok if you are on the catwalk in Paris but otherwise one can't really get a full on - only an angle shot which in the winter could be mistaken for ringworm breast tatts are ok as it gives the chap something to watch during...instead of the usual footy on telly over the left shoulder - but it shouldn't be a rose as it reminds him of the gardening tasks he has failed to do. A classic plane like the Spitfire would be good with Biggles wearing goggles and a flying scarf If my daughter was getting one, I would suggest the soles of the feet so that one day the midwife can get a full on to lighten up their day There are few things in life that are guaranteed forever - not spouses, not the affection of one's children and even nationality can be revoked. Losing a limb or having a tattoo are permanent and are equally desirable in my book. Bone through the nose is better coz the hole can be concealed with chewing gum and make up	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-02 21:05:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Oh, I also went and got a tattoo. Small and tasteful. Well, at least it is small. So is my willy but I don't show it in public. Ok lets do the classy test: Is it in colour ? Are the words spelled correctly and readable without cranking the reader's neck ? Does it refer to any ethnic group going home ? Can it be covered up when being knighted by the Queen (ie not going diagonally up your neck) Is it likely to stand the test of time : (A) will it stretch as your neck hole expands with age and (B) Does it refer to a previous boyfriend - 'Enis and me for eternity' Would it make a good aiming mark for the SWAT team ? Would any breed of insect be tempted to make love to it ? Was any species of beetle harmed in the production of the ink Did the Tattooist have a ho chi minh beard and a lazy eye ? These basic tests need to be applied before I can look further into whether tatts are classy	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-02 19:38:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	and GIN!!! and lime or lemon - I ain't fussy like that but I do prefer a glass rather than straight from the bottle like Lee Marvin - but that was whisky or whiskey not the Saxon GIN Actually we have stumbled on about 6 thoughts that are worthy of post headers - from divorce parties to the short term use of booze to get through problems and do we start work on our OH's downsides or just ignore em and think positive. Also, is it ok to deny ones ethnic roots - I have a spattering (eighth) of Welsh and a dash of Irish (eighth) which I try not to think about as GIN is a Saxon invention and I can't stand rag arms celtic dancing. Lots of red meat there - enough to get through until winter ! Edited by saywhat, 02 June 2010 - 06:13 PM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-02 18:12:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	I'm sure we've all been in that situation where we have a good ol' rant about what is going wrong in our lives and then notice that we sound like depressive people, so tag on a positive spin to make the OTHER person feel better. Yes we manipulate them into wanting to hang around when we are down by being cheery... Naturally I think I am better than that and I don't need manipulating to hang around a buddy who is down and whining and rotten company. Doesn't stop me telling them to act like a pair of curtains and pull themselves together It's a bit like divorce parties which I equate with abortion parties and just run over a cat parties - very bad taste and it's obviously a denial of all that was - especially when they bonk the barman in the car park afterwards We don't kid anyone really when our jollity is based on an attempt at the renunciation of our feelings rather than a celebration of our true ones - but keeping one's pecker up is essential nevertheless. They have pills for keeping one's pecker up (No not those !) and also GIN It's hard to find someone with NO saving graces - not even Larry King the intrusive amateur gynacologist sweaty palms tell me in smutty detail about it, has no saving graces, because he is biodegradable after all. So concentrating on the admirable (or less repulsive) in our relationships is essential to staving off shoot em in the face thoughts. If that doesnt work then there is always chocolate - or people who are paid to be nice to you like them in the supermarket.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-02 17:37:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	You are promoted to Number One Internet Boyfriend again, Alan. Phew - just when I thought it was another failed relationship... Also folks, you need a large toolbox to hide photos of your exes - and don't forget a combo lock - keys are dangerous To do otherwise is cruising for a bruising Scanning em into your private folder under a strong password and shredding the originals is also harmony preserving. A good shredder could have saved many a relationship Also, don't let your accountant suck your toes in the garden - are you listening Fergie ?	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-02 16:12:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	I agree, I could listen to you talk all day, Alan. Or read your words all day. Either way, you're a great spark of wisdom. I especially liked this: Yeah well it's easy to get it all in proportion when I have been through it all personally a few times including the moving UK/US etc... and when it isn't me this time... It's a cruel fact that when we are down and need people, that's when they hide until we are happy again - and the converse is true. 'Laugh and the world laugh with you - weep and you weep alone' is an eternal truism. If all else fails I highly recommend self deception which I have elevated to an art form. It's only an extension to what we all try and do, and that is shut out bad memories. I totally rewrite my life's history in my mind whenever it gets too painful and convince myself I was justified. and if I lose money on the stock market, I add up all my assets and work out what % I have lost - that makes it seem smaller and I can smile again. After all I am gong to die, likely in pain in the next 20 years, and I shut that out because I have to. It's self deception and it works just fine ! (So does GIN) Altogether now - always look on the bright side of life ! http://www.thebards....Side_Life.shtml	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-02 15:47:00