ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
United KingdomNaturalization wobbles

Awww, you speak so sweetly Alan. :luv: Well, we'll see where he and I are in 2 years. We hope to still be best friends but you never no where life will take you. :) And he's so used to me doing everything related to immigration he's flummoxed. He'd probably stay a PR forever if it meant no difficult forms. He's a manchild, but he was MY manchild.


It's not fair - I would like to be a manchild - but every time I try it, I get called an inadequate git

So I become John Wayne/Superman/Clint and I am then called a callous, unfeeling, insensitive git

My son does a great lost puppy impression and the wimmin in Tenerife buy him drinks !

Jeez the blond 'airdresser said If I couldn't buy her $10 cocktails then I shouldn't have a GF coz I couldn't afford one .

I should have been born a swine or a puppy - us regular guys fall through the gap in the middle.

We don't complain but we do take notes

Edited by saywhat, 15 June 2010 - 04:23 PM.

Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-15 16:21:00
United KingdomNaturalization wobbles

Yeah he'll have to wait 5 years as a PR if they divorce.

And I agree - the N 400 is pretty damn easy.


I would head for Safety Harbor, Florida, rent a luxury condo (cheap) and give it 9 months.

If I couldn't settle, I would retreat to Tenerife like Thor Heyerdahl did. Hawaii is same as Tenerife but too remote

If I couldn't settle there I would learn Pashtun ???? and go back to Yorkshire


Any chap who needs a hand from his ex with a N400 application 2 years later is a bit limp eh ? I can even iron my own shirts and toast a bagel !

Elmo is better with a bunch of virtual lovers
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-15 14:33:00
United KingdomNaturalization wobbles

Yes! Even though I'm splitting from my husband, I promised to help him in two years with the N400 malarkey. Groan. I almost think I'd rather give him a car than have to help with that.


Is that the 5 year thing ?

He needs help ?

The ape creatures of the indus valley could do the N400 thing on their own

ps if I get an RFE now I will hide in shame

Edited by saywhat, 15 June 2010 - 02:19 PM.

Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-15 14:17:00
United KingdomNaturalization wobbles

Oh god, Alan. Stop it. For the love of sweet baby American Jesus, STOP IT!!! I am but a weak and feeble woman deep down inside.Posted Image


We need a new thread - Describe your whole day on the once a month, no holds barred, galactic pig out, distendencia, pop & drop, extravaganzotic chomp and slurp, burp and pardon devouristical megafest !

In order to preserve seemliness and sensitivity, no food with a viscosity rating over 3 may be referred to.
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-15 12:09:00
United KingdomThe United States of America - my thoughts so far
QUOTE (ginger1981 @ Aug 25 2008, 07:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (saywhat @ Aug 25 2008, 01:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The original poster returns....

The American posters who cannot stand any opinion which includes any criticism of their country, should know that I, and many other Brits who are here in the U.S. are here through our own free will and therefore on balance, we want to be here, rather than the U.K. for now - so it must be 'better' in some way for want of another word.

I think Brits are only too aware of the downside to British society, but because we haven't been brainwashed in classrooms where we stand in front of the flag with gold braid and an eagle on the top, and put our hands on our hearts and chant some conformist script every morning, we are able to take criticism, and many like to explore the opinions of outsiders and are not automatically defensive.


I don't think that saying the pledge is completely a bad thing. I think it has pros and cons...it can build pride and solidarity with people no matter where you are from in the US, but for some others they take their love of country quite literally - as in the US can do nothing wrong.

I think the real problem is that kids are not taught critical thinking skills at a young enough age. It's one thing to memorize a few lines, but it is another to examine it and come to a conclusion of what US citizenship really means. At least where I went to school we didn't do this until our senior year. But a lot of kids are either not encouraged to give it any thought or they are heavily influenced to think of the US as some sort of land blessed by god that makes it superior to other countries in the world (ie Danesh D'Souza types).


QUOTE (saywhat @ Aug 25 2008, 01:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So on the whole it's ok and I am doing fine except when it comes to dentists bills - I blew my 2k limit in a month !

Forget god and society and vulgarity and guns and history - what about my dentists bills !


Ughfff...I don't even want to think about dentist bills. I'm still paying off my bill from the last time I went....6 cavities!


Yes I forgot to say that although the level of Nationalism in the U.S. is the first thing that surprises and dismays Europeans, we are wrong to see it as the resurgance of Nazism (which it does very much look like), because it's meant to unify all the gangs and nationalities and the wide geographic spread of the country. So while it's an internal thing, I am sure it has been very beneficial and has succeeded and made a Minnesota Polish Miner feel at one with a Southern cotton pickin' red neck. When it comes to snearing at the French or trivialising the Brits or CNN saying that Americans got the most olympic medals without mentioning who got the most golds, (China got twice as many as the USA), it's a negative thing and can be the driving force behind triumphalism and imperialism which the Brits did the most of in the past. Dollar imperialism like Georgia/Ukraine and getting the foreigners to die for you is just as dangerous.

So I can see a reason for it all - but once it has fulfilled it's purpose of unifying, it can only burst outwards on the world and categorize the world as citizens and non-citizens which is what the romans did - or mench and untermench in Hitler's terms - so I reckon a degree of internationalism and scaling back of massed ranks of huge flags (even for a meeting of the town council of nowhersville) would be a good idea - I wouldn't dare propose it though !
Captain OatesMaleEngland2008-08-25 14:29:00
United KingdomThe United States of America - my thoughts so far
The original poster returns....

The American posters who cannot stand any opinion which includes any criticism of their country, should know that I, and many other Brits who are here in the U.S. are here through our own free will and therefore on balance, we want to be here, rather than the U.K. for now - so it must be 'better' in some way for want of another word.

I think Brits are only too aware of the downside to British society, but because we haven't been brainwashed in classrooms where we stand in front of the flag with gold braid and an eagle on the top, and put our hands on our hearts and chant some conformist script every morning, we are able to take criticism, and many like to explore the opinions of outsiders and are not automatically defensive


I intensely dislike the British Council Estates and the attitude of most who live there (I lived there 10 years myself and lived mostly on beans and chips while I was doing my professional studies). I don't resent anyone decribing them.

In Swansea I was called a 'Saxon' and derided. In Scotland the drunks shot air rifles at my fishing float when they realised I was English. So I know about racism in the U.K. (The other UK countries call it Nationalism)

I am very pleasantly surprised by the replies to this thread as nobody has said ' If there is ANYTHING you want to criticize then go home'. I accept that looking towards the positive is more productive than dwelling on the negative, but if this is going to be a full experience then I want to see all sides of America and not just beautiful clean young cheerleaders who believe in god and stay virgins until marriage and would not dream of having a beer until they are 21 and sleep with a sweet smile on their faces dreaming with pleasure about going to school the next day.

A real life 'Fonz' would probably try and sell you cocaine or mug you in an alley so I want to experience the reality rather continue with the myth.

I plan to take the best of both societies and play by the rules and one day possibly have summers in Cornwall and winters in san diego and live happily ever after.

I think if I become a citizen, it will be harder for me to dismiss the stuff I don't like. Right now I just look at the telly or indeed my small town center and see people dressed in orange suits being dragged along in manacles and leg irons with waist chains and huge fat lumbering policemen with big guns and I think 'Glad it isn't my country'. If I was a citizen then I could not afford myself that detachment

So on the whole it's ok and I am doing fine except when it comes to dentists bills - I blew my 2k limit in a month !

Forget god and society and vulgarity and guns and history - what about my dentists bills !

Edited by saywhat, 25 August 2008 - 01:47 PM.

Captain OatesMaleEngland2008-08-25 13:45:00
United KingdomThe United States of America - my thoughts so far
The stereotypical American ?

Of course stereotypes are usually true or they would not exist

That includes stereotypes about Yorkshire people (me)

Having said that, the real core of what Margaret Thatcher said about there being 'no such thing as society' is that each individual and each family is a world away from the next one

I went to Lagrange Georgia, just up the road from Alabama for years with work. One of my workmates there was a really nice guy but when I said I liked tamla motown he said 'Yeah I really like that N..... music too'

It was just the way it was in Georgia and there was no kick behind the word.


Similarly, the church stuff is absolutely stifling but you can get away from it

I went to the state park here and a brass plaque explained that the ginkgo petrified forest was 20 million years old. Some rabid Jesus freak had scratched it out and mutilated the plate and written 'sinful lies'
So the stereotypes exist and are true and there are areas where you can be shot and disappear in a pick up truck or be killed for having an abortion etc etc
The stereotypes are all true but my messages is that you can avoid 90% of them and live like a European if your spouse is enlightened and not in the KKK or a wild eyed religious nut etc

And far as history is concerned forget it. The week before we came to the U.S. I took my wife to the Saxon church at Linton in Yorkshire - built in 850ad
I saw a program that was in awe over a Chicago church built 150 years ago ! Jeez my last house was built in 1725

This country is not my country. It has many advantages for me and I want to stay here but I will always be a foreigner, an alien. I used to enjoy .22 rifle shooting in Ilkley at the club. All professors and phone engineers and aerial erectors. Here it's all fat bearded guys with pickups who shoot .45 autos near the rodeo field. All they want is for some Mexican illegal to trespass in their garden so they can disembowel them. It's a different world, not my world, but I have learned to adapt without changing my attitudes to pick up trucks or racism or free health care or religion.


I joined the motorbike club and instead of genial eccentrics its all rebel flags and I am American born and.... it's not what I am used to or what I like or what I want to become.

Having said all that, the reason why I say that the stereotypes need not be too big a part of your life is that the public radio shows that there are as many, if not more, enlightened, kind, nice, deep thinking people in the US than in the UK even
They are here and you can make that kind of mini world into your world.

If you force yourself to like those parts of American culture which are repulsive to you, it won't work. So be yourself and go with what you feel about and avoid the other stuff.

It's a big country and not one society and there are plenty of people and situations to chose from

They have castration of sex offenders in Louisiana and no guns for us aliens in Washington state, firing squads in Utah and Government kidnap, torture and extraordinary rendition - the woman on the news has dazzling teeth and told me yesterday that 19 criminals were being publicly hung in Tehran. She smiled and tried to look cute while she was saying it and showing the pictures - a person from Europe does not transition immediately if they are a thinking person.... It easy to think this is an insane micky mouse land of bigots and uncaring nazis and narcissists but not all Americans are like that. Plenty are.

If you just want to bake apple pies and go to church and have kids - and are not interested in news or current affairs or politics, you can do very well in the US so long as your spouse has classy health insurance

I know I can never change anything here, and if I become a citizen it will be as one of a minority of 'liberal'persons and many of my fellow Americans will seriously dislike my views - nevertheless I can live in my minority section of American society as so many do.

Finally, the States are like different worlds - I know Georgia and I have lived in Wisconsin and Florida and Washington State. Each one with a hugely different flavour. I couldn't buy a gin and tonic on the public holiday because only the state liquor shop can sell it in case the hinjuns get their hands on firewater. I can't buy a single shot .22 target rifle, my hobby for decades - I am an alien. In Florida I can be legally shot if I knock on a door for water and the resident fears that I might do them harm. etc etc

Even which side of the state matters - in Washington state in the west is Microsoft and Boeing and gays and illegals - here on the East its Republicans and guns and rodeos and church

I am still here ! Been to the UK one week since last November ! I have a super house and a brand new motorbike (Suzuki 1250 bandit actually) 3.5 litre luxury car - I bought the lot for the few pesos that the US dollar has become. The sun shines and my wife has a good job with good health cover for me. I have great credit cards and bank accounts and shares and mutual funds. I passed my car test and motorbike test and I have done all of this after my 60th birthday. I am am a foreigner in a cruel, harsh, vulgar, loud, unfair , 'every man for himself' , neo-con foreign land, but I am doing ok !

I have even found a beer I like

They don't like 'partners' here but 'pardners' are ok - get it pardner ? The flags have gold embroidery and golden eagles on the top. Massed ranks of huge flags almost identical to the nazis rallies apart from the flag itself - Rudolph Hess would have approved. I see Nuremberg and the 'Triumph of the wills' every day but I don't even notice it now...

So my message is - believe the stereotypes - they exist, I have seen them, I have spoken with them. The TV preachers say if you don't give them money then someone in your family will get cancer. The TV stations allow them to say that.
Consumer protection is non existent but most traders play the game. Trial by TV happens every day to arrested persons and people who are mere suspects are named as 'scum' on the telly even before they are charged. Don't believe that the US consists only of these stereotypes - there are scientists and atheists and socialists and quiet gentle thinking feeling people who abhor torture and racism and just all sorts of wonderful people. Be prepared for both.


I am appalled by much of US society and reassured and impressed by the rest of it , and quietly pleased that I have managed to cope so far


I am sure a lot of people will want to shout me down for a lot of what I have said here buts it's an honest summary of how I perceive this country I live in, what I have found, what I have observed.... I watch and keenly observe every day.

I am not sure if I want to be a citizen one day. How can a country evolve it's culture without minority ideas coming in from outside ? If I feel so strongly about the horrible things here, and if I think the kind and thoughtful minority should be supported, then surely it's my duty to become a citizen and to speak out for enlightenment. That would be the only basis on which I would become a citizen but I am still not sure as many of my new countrymen will hate my views for sure and isolating yourself and putting yourself up for social crucifixion takes Jesus type strength
Captain OatesMaleEngland2008-07-28 20:50:00
United KingdomMEDICARE - Entitlement ? come on experts !
I will have been a green card holder for 5 years and 2 days when i am 65 (planned it !)

5 years is the eligibility for medicare

Because my spouse has full contributions, i will qualify for A and B


What happens if she dies or divorces me after I am on Medicare ? Say when I am 67 ? Will I have to start paying the 8k per annum that single unqualified people pay - or will the fact that I qualified at 65 continue my qualification for life?

be prepared is my motto
Captain OatesMaleEngland2009-01-19 19:00:00
United KingdomIs this really a cultural difference?
Round here it seems that few cats are allowed out

You need a cat license here and a chip to let it out - can you believe it !

out of town people let their cats roam free but some are taken by coyotes/mountain lions and bears


Seems most town americans keep their cats in

I thought it was stinky idea so i built a tunnel through to the garage with cat flaps on each end - and we have cat trays in there - the tunnel exits into a 4 foot by 4 foot pen with a wire netting lid and magnetic catches to hold the lid up for cleaning out

I built the whole thing in 107 degrees of heat last summer

luckily the cats are mentally well adjusted and there has never been a poopin accident in 9 months


Captain OatesMaleEngland2009-01-19 18:54:00
United KingdomEngland
Holed up in Bramhope near Leeds in a hotel. There are rabbits playing outside. I have overdosed on cheshire cheese - timmy taylor beer- currant teacakes-pork pies - and haddock and chips with mushy peas

Bought beef bisto and branston pickle for return journey

Food in the US is total junk but I suppose a chicken is chicken - they sell pork chops that is loin cut in washington- - smells like it's off
Can buy it here in the UK but its almost dog food grade

Washington East of the Cascades is primitive in the exteme but 300 days unbroken blue sky and 8 inches rain pa counts for something

Parking spaces here are tiny and few

Everyone has cold and sneezes on me in the supermarkets... they are striking against italian workers as the Brits are losing jobs faster than the US.. so its not just the US who is not keen on aliens

the cold is damp cold - 20 degrees warmer than washington but feels colder as there is always a breeze and the damp chill goes right through ya


Everything on telly is childish toilet humour with gay inuendo and swanning around all the time

all the presenters are gay or pakistani or 19 or all of these - nothing wrong with that but i am non of these and not represented

I think US telly is ####### but this is worse and the lack of adverts spins it out longer

I reckon my homesick stuff should last another 3 days then i will be back to washington for my 3.5 lite V6 toyota and some wide roads and no litter - I wish I could say less tattoos but washington is at least as bad as england in that regard
The UK pubs are mostly trash along with their drugged, drunken, pierced, hopeless welfare dependant clientelle - but there are some solid alehouses with decent people

Well I hope I cured some homesickness with this assessment !

ps I have forgotten uk money ! the 5p looks like dime and the shilling looks like a nickel - i really have lost my money recognition ! so 5's look like 10's and 10's look like 5's



aaargghhh !!!!!


Captain OatesMaleEngland2009-01-31 19:36:00
United KingdomEngland
QUOTE (rebeccajo @ Jan 18 2009, 05:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (lsma @ Jan 18 2009, 10:11 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Definitely want to move back. We plan to do so in about 5/6 years - I wish it was a bit sooner.

Then we will come back here again after 5/6 years in the UK

and then back again I think....

I like the idea of living in both countries.


Are you going to have furnishings, etc. stored in both countries?


That is such a very good point - I am retired so we could float between the two countries but - what about the pets and the car and as you say the furniture etc etc

I think you have to have film star money to be able to do it properly

Nope we can't as Obama never says

I would love a cottage in Dorset, but now I am used to a mansion and huge garage with electric doors etc (all for less than my 3 bed barratt box in england) - and I would need a few mill for that in dorset




Captain OatesMaleEngland2009-01-21 19:42:00
United KingdomEngland
QUOTE (Chrissy25 @ Jan 20 2009, 06:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
i posted this in off topic but maybe you could help me here

We applied a little while back for a UK visa for hubby, we got the visa and are now leaning towards staying in the US. We have untill the end of feb before the visa expires, if we dont use it what will happen to the visa and plus if we want to reapply at a later date will we have problems? I'm pregnant right now and its just 2 stressful


We did the same and lived in the UK for a year - wife's visa now expired

I researched it at the time and I dont think there is a limit on how many resident visas you can get

It took 20 minutes in Chicago to get a UK green card - it took a year of very hard work and near nervous breakdowns to get my US green card



QUOTE (lsma @ Jan 22 2009, 01:31 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
OMG - I need Lucozade and Bounty bars - anyone know where I can get these in DC?


I am getting a TRIPLE bar bounty in Harrogate next week and dipping it in my mushy peas !

Captain OatesMaleEngland2009-01-21 19:32:00
United KingdomEngland
I am amazed so many would go back !

I have been here on and off for 4 years now and I came permanently on GC in November 2007

I don't think there is a decent climate anywhere in the US (I have lived in Wisconsin/Florida and Washington State).

Here it has 300 days sun per year and 8 inches of rainfall. So far so good - but December and January are miserable with freezing fog every day. In summer it's 107.

I like motorbiking so I thought 300 days sun and no rain would be great - but it's either too hot or too cold and it's 150 miles to the next decent sized town - Seattle - which is as cloudy and drizzly as England

Before coming here, we rented a house in Darwen Lancashire (for her job) and that was the pits and I would rather live anywhere in the US rather than that

But yes I miss Yorkshire beer/Yorkshire fish and chips (Lancashire fish and chips are sold in Chinese restaurants and cooked in the same oil as the spring rolls)/and Cheshire cheese and currant teacakes

Also the UK is the finest countryside in the world WHEN its nice - and it isn't always - not at all. Motorbiking down loch fyne in 75 degrees is heavenly

I go back ever 4 months to kill the homesickness and the last couple of times I was looking forward to being back in the States after a few days


Life has taught us that we can't win and we can't improve a lot of things in our lives without leaving a lot of great things behind. We just can't have it all

Medicare will be an issue for me in a few years and although my USC wife has full contributions, I cant get it on her coat-tails as she is 11 years younger - and the spouse has to be 62

So thats going to cost me say 8k per annum

When I see the traffic and weather and some other things we don't mention next week in the UK, I am sure my homesickness will ease a lot and get me through - I am having a blood sugar test the day before I go and then I am going to pig out all the time I am there !

The US ain't that bad but it's a long way from perfect and sometimes it's just so weird - the way they pick up men for looking for prostitutes and put their face in the paper and the net even before they are tried -
and as for nancy grace - they might as well lynch the mother now as she has been publicly tried every night for 6 months. Whether she is guilty or not, it wouldn't be done in the UK - it's so - well so -- you know -- foreign !

Anyway I just cruised to walmart in my V6 3.5 litre Camry along quiet roads and the stuff costs peanuts - the road was dry and --it ain't that bad...

I would like to go back one day - but I can take it here for a few years as long as I keep my mouth shut

Don't know about the citizenship though - I am so dyed in the Wool English and I will never FEEL American

For instance 'only in America could a black man make it to the top'

We had a JEW as prime Minister and a WOMAN and the next labour pm will be an ATHEIST

The US is miles off doing that... and we had abolition of slavery first and women's votes first etc etc

So this total confidence that the US is better than anyone else and the in the forefront of everything gets on my nerves all the time too

Hey ho - off to use my 1500 watt kettle (3000 Watts in the UK) to eventually brew up some Yorkshire tea

Edited by saywhat, 21 January 2009 - 07:17 PM.

Captain OatesMaleEngland2009-01-21 19:14:00
United KingdomTHAT miserable receptionist at Bentick Mansions
QUOTE (Marty J @ Mar 25 2009, 02:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just back from my medical today, and the receptionist was really nice.


Oh no - you got the pox clinic next door !


Oh dear all that money for nothing...

Captain OatesMaleEngland2009-03-24 22:21:00
United KingdomBirth Certificate rejected at interview
congrats phew !

Edited by saywhat, 21 August 2009 - 11:24 AM.

Captain OatesMaleEngland2009-08-21 11:23:00
United KingdomSomewhat An Off-Topic Question
QUOTE (FrostyMist @ Nov 18 2009, 01:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When I went to the US last year, I wasn't too sure what to expect of the food. I expected to be a lot pickier about the foods than I actually was though. Most of my fussiness with food was solved by just trying a few different brands until I found a particular one that I liked.

Bread tasted too sweet, and thusly I didn't like that, and the eggs freaked me out a bit because they were white. But they taste the same, and my fiance was happy to indule my strange anti-white-eggs campaign and brought brown eggs instead. I had issues with tinned tuna though; it really did look and taste different to British tuna, and much as we tried different brands, I couldn't find one that suited me. I did start to get used to it though. Potatoes and fruit all tasted pretty "normal" to me, and though I expected to miss British chip shop chips, we actually found a place that does chips that taste rather like the British equivilent. So I was happy that there was at least a semi-substitute for that if I had a particular craving.


Yes the eggs are an aesthetic thing really. I used to keep 300 hens so I know that white eggs come from white hens and brown eggs come from brown hens and they are both the same inside and it's pretty racist to prefer one to the other. However, free range eggs are certainly better tasting.

Free range hens are better tasting too - indescribable if you have never had one. Every bonfire night, a few of our hens would have a heart attack and fall backwards off the perches with all the bangs going on. My dad used to insist we ate all the sick ones and premature deaths - never had a 'fit' hen but they still tasted great compared to supermarket hens (referred to as chickens).. I used too eat road kill pheasants too.

Wood pigeon is the best meat ever. Hares are too gamey and need a couple of onions inside them before cooking. Bunnies are ok if they are spiced up a bit.

I suppose a tomato or a pigeon tastes the same the world over so I must be talking about processed or pre-prepared food like Cornish pasties. Those you can buy in the UK with big chunks of meat and turnip and white pepper.

It's stuff like that I miss and so preparing one's own from raw materials is the way to go

Imagine selling 'real' English Cornish pasties in New York - you would have a line back to Boston.








Captain OatesMaleEngland2009-11-18 10:38:00
United KingdomSomewhat An Off-Topic Question
QUOTE (Amanda and Tony @ Nov 14 2009, 07:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (sachinky @ Nov 14 2009, 01:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh, Indian Cadbury triumphs ALL other Cadbury's including UK/USA. I take about a ton of chocolate bars everytime I go back to the US.


biggrin.gif It's funny isn't it. It's definitely what you are used too. My american friends love their hersheys but my argument is that if they were brought up on cadbury's then they would have a different opinion.


I used to think that but I have become convinced that Brit food is the best and US food is horrible - all of it, without exception. It isn't anything to do with what we are used to. I am talking about supermarket food rather than Restaurant food

My USC wife lived in the UK for a year and she pines for Brit food. Including Brit curries from India and Pakistan and the tribesmen of the Khyber...

I mean have you seen US eggs ? Looks like a small sick pigeon has laid them some years ago. In the UK they are big and brown and fresh and yummy. Bread ? yuk and expensive. Currant teacakes ? Don't exist. Cheshire cheese - nearest is Florida at $zillions a nibble - I used to drive 70 miles to buy a piece in Florida.

Morrison's black pudding ? Don't start me on beer. A lot of chicken is faintly reminiscent of chicken so I eat a lot of that - otherwise spuds - even then it's hard to find those that taste like spuds. I don't know what the soil is in Idaho but it can't be like the rich black loam of Blighty

I go back to the UK every 12 weeks and I take a melamine plate and knife and fork and I empty Morrison's and pig out on Brit food in my hotel room.

Then I come back to the US and take my triglyceride pill and eat sugar with sugar on again mixed with molasses and a lump of pig fat with a tiny streak of meat (bacon). The cheese is like a bar of soap in texture. Crumbly Lancashire sir ?

I think the quality of the grub is terrible and I am so surprised the population are not revolting

Yoghurt and canned fruit for tea....









Captain OatesMaleEngland2009-11-17 19:26:00
United KingdomOld forgotten bank account, and Student Loans Direct.
QUOTE (Martin&Nat @ Dec 10 2009, 02:11 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Officially, you are supposed to notify the SLC within three months of leaving the UK by filling in the Overseas Income Assessment form - otherwise they are able to charge you the overseas repayment rate of £246 per month (from the date you departed!) in addition to a penalty of up to £150.

They happened to lose the form I sent them so I resent it around 18 months after leaving the UK - I was under the threshold since my departure so they didn't charge me any penalty. They simply confirmed I wasn't liable for any payments and that they would send me another assessment form in a year's time.

I hope this helps. Bottom line, file the assessment form with them to be safe - regardless of whether you are under the threshold or not. For the USA, the threshold is currently £12,000. More info at: http://www.slc.co.uk...olds/index.html

I hope this helps.


Wow you scared me then for a mo as I thought it referred to my UK banks accounts - it's just student loans...

I was the lucky generation - in the 1970's I was earning £60 per week and I got a grant to go to college full time which was £75 per week as I had a wife and two kids. I got a rise and went down from 40 hours per week to 18. I took the entire summer off and lived in the west of Scotland in a caravan and enjoyed my sea canoe and fishing. The site rent was paid by the govt and I worked back at my company through minor holidays (tax free)

I feel sorry of the youngsters now. I had it all provided by this 'socialist' state (Dirty word in America)
I went from the son of a co-op coal man who was earning £8 per week to European Finance Director for a major US Company and all because I was born in a socialist country and got massive state support.
In Europe I am a success story - in America I am seen as a commie leach on society and a freeloader.
By 1990 I was paying £24,000 per annum just in income tax, so the Brits got their investment back many , many times over..





Captain OatesMaleEngland2009-12-10 11:45:00
United KingdomOld forgotten bank account, and Student Loans Direct.
I echo that you should keep the account open as it's very hard to get an account once you are non resident.
People pine to have one and you have one - so don't give it up

I have only found one way to open a mainland account and that is via national savings and investments (the bank of england - the government). You can open an easy access account there as a US resident but its primitive and you can't even log on to see the balance

Channel island /isle of man have really poor protections


Yes keep the real bank account at all costs - really !

Captain OatesMaleEngland2009-12-09 19:34:00
United Kingdomnotorization in the UK
Apparently ALL solicitors are 'Commissioners for oaths' but notary pubics are a much rarer breed

I think there were only a couple in Leeds when I was looking for one

It's difficult as the US is looking for the word NOTARY when in fact a UK 'commissioner for oaths' far outranks a US notary


Captain OatesMaleEngland2009-11-09 19:42:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!

Alan, watching an ad for Yorkshire in the back of an NYC taxi. :D

do I get a point for that?

1.5

I think you are down to 5.5 now !

yorkshire airlines - this is the dog's

Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-10 21:47:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!
Infidelity ?

Is that like not being a Muslim ?

Edited by saywhat, 10 June 2010 - 01:22 PM.

Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-10 13:22:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!

there's no reason to bring valtrex into this. it's an important medicine. I hear.


I was thinking off


http://www.backyardp...ura_E_John.html

An essential step in reaching this goal is to maintain a healthy and parasite-free flock of birds.
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-10 12:59:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!

Plus, I got all swoony thinking about frolicking in the surf and lying down like chocolate marshmallows or some such, so my brain is more than usually muddled.


I had forgotten about that. Hows about getting a one piece swimming suite and diving into the gulf, returning to the beach and putting shaving cream on your head and saying "How's that for a chocolate eclaire missis ? "
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-10 12:54:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!

You dont scare me.. Alan will protect me :luv: Hez mah hero


Been doing a bit of racist bashing so I have been busy.

Being English, I believe in forming an orderly queue and I don't approve of everyone rushing the bus at once. Anyway I can't have my keyboard littered with underwear and feathers and things from walmart pharmacy coz it covers up my tab button.

Elmo's fire is therefore in poll position but all other fowls and mammals should hang in there in case of a failed engine when the flag drops.

Supporting my ridiculous posts on other threads will earn browny points however so the pecking order is not set in stone for all time and we are all as good as our last post

The last post ? Isn't that a funeral tune ?
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-10 12:48:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!

:luv: well, sassycat Maven is touched deep down in her dark little heart.

BP looking like an interesting bet!

On the Canadian/US border as I type, hieing my way back to the harem and prepping for Saturday's big tussle with Owl. :D


Saturday is the day !

just checking out the pubs for good screens and ungassy ale

The US actually beat England 40 years ago and there was a shocked silence that lasted many years and a huge increase in the suicide rate (in England)

I predict the fall of the realm if it happens again

It's a no win situation for me - If we win then I will be grouched at and called a snotty Brit and anti-American and possibly get fed poisoned meat loaf

If we lose then ---- I need to lock my guns up and mail myself the key so I have a few days to recover my poise
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-10 10:21:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!

I knew there a reason VJ brought me to you, Alan -- pension geekery!Posted Image Ours was something like £15bn assets under management when I left -- god knows where it is now. BP is an awesome buy right now -- if I had your squillions I would be snaffling it up.

Fund managers -- oh god, don't get me started on those sheeple. In fact idiot boy tonight started his life at one of the big FMs -- I was his client all those moons ago.



BP up 13 % just last 2 hours

If it goes down again I am in

off to look for a poyme to keep the owl on board coz she is getting her feathers ruffled

ok here it is: (VJ won't let me put pusssy)

The Owl and the pusssy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
'O lovely pusssy! O pusssy my love,
What a beautiful pusssy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful pusssy you are!'



II
Pusssy said to the Owl, 'You elegant fowl!
How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! too long we have tarried:
But what shall we do for a ring?'
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose,
His nose,
His nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.

.
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-10 10:10:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!

Best not to look. :) As someone with a pension fund background, it's all about the long-term, the long game. Patience was drummed into me. When you have future pensioners on your books who are likely to still be working when you're long past retired (and possibly dead) yourself you learn to look at the far horizon. It may be no joke but ultimately this is one disaster amongst disasters. I am appalled by what happened but the governance girl in me sees this as the defining moment for BP and the oil and gas industry to make meaningful and robust structural changes.

I won't bore everyone with my scintillating discussion about the merits of chasing beta when everyone is still obsessed with alpha. I think that's probably for the best.Posted Image


heck it's uncanny - I was Treasurer of a £58 mill pension fund. I am a FCCA (pronounced ...) - ask anyone if I am. BP down 17% today alone - wish I had the guts to go for it. That thing will double by this time next year and those 40 pelicans at 10 mill each can be afforded.. All the fund managers want it off their investment list for the qtr end so they are dumping it
Even S&P rated it a 4 star buy today
Wow it will take nerve and vision and stupidity to buy it. I bet Warren Buffy the vampire killer is buying it.

I will wait til nearer qtr end or for 100% spill cap day - or Mr O apology to Tony day - or hell freeze over day - then I might just do it.
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-09 22:47:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!
Where can I get one of these and is it all in the price ?


http://www.fullerhea...nd-styles.shtml
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-09 22:31:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!

Well, when you need back up, you can call on your No 1 Internet Girlfriend cum Pension Advisor. Posted Image

(still wouldn't worry about BP)


It's a deal

Not selling BP for 10 years so I just won't look. This time next year it will all be forgotten about - like the war of independance and 1812 and the burning of the white house and george bush goosing the queen

It's going to really smash a lot of pension funds in the US and UK and drop the tax take US and UK and unemploymentise a lot of people in the South. Mr O is killing the golden goose that lays the plastic egg - something like that. Two geeses in 1 post mr bush !

Luckily my pensions are 100% guaranteed by Her Majesty and inflation proofed - and I sold my BP at the top and bought it back 30% down - so I already have my life back as they say.

It's no joke though
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-09 22:22:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!
Here is some English sophistication - an envy of the world

My favorite Geordie character


Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-09 22:05:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!

Yeurgh, makes me cringe EVERY time. #######, can ye not pronounce it? All the Ts sound like Ds, so Ds should sound like Ts?Posted Image

Punishment: hanged, drawn and quartered. On Wimbledon Common. By the Wombles.Posted Image


Holy bardles of wadder !

Its been a long day - been meddling in all sorts of threads in between chores but bigger malevolences than were there so I wasn't taking all the slings and arrows
Built an array of canes on top of the cat tree to stop no 2 mog from getting onto the pelmet 10 feet up and then falling down backwards onto the wooden frame like she does !

Don't know how I had time to work...
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-09 22:02:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!
By the way

It's WIMBLEDON not WIMBLETON !!!!!!!

DON is the old celtic word for 'hill' and existed before the Romans came. Romans ?

Doncaster
Rawdon
Yeadon
Baildon
Basildon etc all on hills - thousands of em

Course it's understandable coz when a person has no concept of origins and history, it must all seem so arbitrary and therefore so hard to remember

I will take my revenge and talk about higher-wather and milli-haha and xxxxing bull
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-09 21:47:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!

Well, I don't know why you're worried about you-know-who. He is obviously four-timing you.


msnbc reporter DOVE into the gulf and DRUG himself back onto the boat !!!


Oh my sensibilities - its like I've sat on em. Just going to kill myself - back later

4 timing ? I can only remember 3. jeez it's too many when you can't remember their names.

Only 1 or possibly 1.5 mean it - the others are using me to punish the others over a rhubarb pie capitulation that they blame on somebody else
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-09 21:21:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!

Well, I did see him across the bar. I managed to dodge him for three days but on the last one... We had a perfectly civil chat. When he remarked I wasn't wearing my ring I told him that I was splitting up. He raised his eyebrows and told him I was happy. :) He asked how California was and I asked about London and although he asked me to join him and his colleagues for a beer I said no, because I knew that way led to a hotel room that wasn't my own, and my train is at 8.30am so it was never going to happen. I told him to get in touch, but I doubt he will, and I am just fine with that. :D

I told him I was saving myself for a big strapping Yorkshireman who had ginger biccies for me anyway.Posted Image


You hussy ! so if you had had a later train you would have climbed the stairs !!!!

arrghh floooooosy !

jeez you have some fence mending to do

I need your support on 10 threads when I say stupid things - THAT is your penalty.

Mental infidelty might as well be all the way....

Any more floosying and I am off with the owl and owls don't stop til dawn !

early train indeed grr grr huh huh grrrr jeez cor humph
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-09 21:12:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!

Reliving fond memories? lol


hey it worked for Freddie Mercury and my sergeant used to say don't knock it til you have tried it.

Think I would be less scared sleeping with John Edwards than Michelle Bachmann of the drugged race horse eyes.
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-09 20:40:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!
bachmann eyes

http://www.treehugge...le-bachmann.jpg

minelli clobber
http://cache.gawkera...wenn2015030.jpg


but not this unless you are sick of me:
http://www.newprophe...Minnelli__2.jpg
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-09 18:00:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!

It hardly ever happens that I'm silenced on VJ, but twice recently it's been by you. Well played. :)

I'll have some of that ginger biccie/yoghurt combo please. I'm dodging my real life ex-boyf tonight.


You could try the Michelle Bachman eyes and clothes like liza minelli ploy - it would cool my ardour for sure times 10. I would be scared of being bitten without my rabies booster.

He would run back home home and get stuck into the GIN - and at 3am get an online subscription to a san francisco male bath-house
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-09 17:52:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!

:wub:

Whatever you say, Alan.Posted Image


Gobsmacked at last eh ? Who would have thought we would see the day.
These Albertson's ginger biscuits (cookies) are hallucinogenic when mixed with out of date yoghurt.
Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-09 17:31:00
United KingdomHelp my language please !!!

A likely story, Alan. Posted Image You disappoint sassycat Maven. If we moved to SLC, we'd have to take in Jewel too, since she's there already. I'm not sure if I can handle having three other women jostling with me, unless they are willing to also take part in librarian ticklefests too. And even then, they'd have to be willing to cede the spotlight to Owl and me.

I bet she's a bimbo anyway. I'm just going off to cry in a corner of the library, poutily and sexily, while I take solace in reading The Sorrows of Young Werther in my lace teddy.


I say young tootyfruit - that's a bit extreme isn't it ?

Not as if I had cast you into the pit (South Carolina)- not at all - more's the merrier as Freddie Mercury used to say.

I know - lets all get some bags of feathers and go down to the beach in Loosyanna and role about in the surf

Then we can lay down beside each other in a rowing boat and pretend to be a box of huge fluffy chocolate marshmallows

Bet you have never had that offer before this week

Edited by saywhat, 09 June 2010 - 05:09 PM.

Captain OatesMaleEngland2010-06-09 17:08:00