Forum	Title	Content	Member	Sex	Country	Date/Time
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	One would think so, but alas, no. Got to catch you first Blow into this But officer, I have just thrown that out	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-13 23:11:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	You can only make a car out of aluminium you cant make one out of aluminum aluminium is a 1st world metal aluminum is sort of all right for soda if soda is legal in that State and approved by Tommy Jefferson Land of the soda free and home of the bravas - patatas bravas ! haha ! PS is it against the TOS to be driving VJ while under the affluence of incohol ? Edited by saywhat, 13 July 2010 - 11:08 PM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-13 23:06:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Well, even if there's no physical deformity, he's an emotional cripple and he's given me the hump* on more than one occasion. *Get your mind out of the gutter. What swings on a bell and is covered in clingfilm ? The lunchpack of notre dame	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-12 20:04:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Love to Alan and Mags for this afternoon's entertainment. I am stuck carless at the moment, having loaned my one operational vehicle to the QH (quasi-husband), as his car is also acting up. I have no wine so I will need to walk to the shop, and as the song goes, nobody walks in LA. quasi husband ? The bells, the bells she gave me water ! Esmeralda !!!	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-12 19:57:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	oh Edmund - you shouldn't have given my father 10 pounds to go away.. Oh it's alright - I'll get Baldrick to beat him up later - we will get the money back.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-12 18:13:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	There was one thing ma'am, a fine WINE from the far east. A most delicious beverage. Do we drink our own or each other's ?	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-12 18:10:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	I liked it when she was eating that turnip that was shaped just like a thingy. Yes I laughed even more because I have a thingy that's shaped like turnip	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-12 18:08:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Oh, it's a SCYTHE! I get it ! I ama a bstrd son of a btch - oh well in that case - you are a fornicating ape ! eh ? well it's hard for me to show you while I am stuck in this contraption	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-12 18:05:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Queen Elizabeth I: So then they've simply vanished. Lord Percy: Like an old oak table. Queen Elizabeth I: Vanished, Lord Percy, not varnished. I have the full set of blackadder CD's here and a special philps dvd player that plays any dvd to any telly haha and tonight its an orgy coz mi epousa is in absentia and I did my cholesterol test am today so tonight is wine and black adder night Cats will be perched on cushions smiling and trying to waft hairs into my wine. They always are 'Little things please little minds' I say to them but they take no notice How do I know your his wife ? - you might be a gloater - oh yes we get a lot of gloaters here you know. ok a test - which arm didn't he have ?	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-12 18:02:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	I hope your suggestion is better than your plan to cure the problem of your mother's low ceiling by cutting off her head ? Edited by saywhat, 12 July 2010 - 02:49 PM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-12 14:47:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	I approve of increasing the number of Blackadder references in this thread. Continue. Edmund: You will have a great future as a slave in Jamaica You will stand out from all the others Baldrick: Why is that ? Edmund: All the others will be black.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-12 14:44:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Yup! Oh, the games you army guys played! Those long winter evenings must have just flown by. The prisoner - Black adder -love it 50% of my unique vocabulary is in fact Black Adder Sir, her father owns more factories than you have brain cells How many ? Five	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-12 14:25:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Uhh, because even though I still love him he's a douche? Sounds like the British Army expression 'a shower' as in 'you are a total shower' I didn't know a shower of what til I was in uniform	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-12 12:56:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	September 1st. Things to look forward to: him not being around me every day; having a housemate whose company I enjoy; lower rent; new neighbourhood; independence at last. Plus he and I rowed all day yesterday so I'm not feeling nearly as charitable today. Force feed him pepsi - we know what that does to Calis	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-12 12:50:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Alan, don't forget I am still your No 1 Internet Girlfriend. Of COURSE I enjoy checking out submarines, and it is well known that I do NOT have bad hair days. I also take a multivitamin every night and don't whinge on about headaches. Your no a secret geezer are you ? we've had the 80's and I'm with the ladies !	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-06 16:03:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Not realizing he's not wonderful until after you've signed on the dotted line is an evolutionary conspiracy meant to trick women into staying with a man despite our better judgement. Attached is a photo of me checking out a submarine ! Natural habitat - look at the glee. That has to be STOPPED ! If a man was to find a woman who enjoyed doing that stuff AND kept the shop open despite vitamin deficiency, suspected headache, bad hair day etc etc , he would gladly stop telling the same jokes ...	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-06 15:58:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Welcome back, Alan. Wee touch of social realism there... (Rab Nesbitt) I am actually an expert on annoying things that one's spouse or whatever does as I have had eight wives. Only three of them were mine, but it's still good learning A good question to ask would be how long they were wonderful before they weren't ? Easy for men to answer that as women are wonderful right up the point where they shut the shop up... but how does it work for women ? When is he not wonderful any more ? Why didnt you realise he told his same favorite jokes before you married him. Why didn't you know his walks included stops to see the marmots and the swallows nests ? How come you didnt know he liked to inspect moored submarines instead of shoe shops ? What does it say about women that they didn't realise all these things before they got married but suddenly it becomes important and intolerable 5 nano seconds after the guy signs on the dotted ? Was it just LUST ?	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-06 15:43:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Let me know when you're ready. I've got a lead on a good man! LOL Is that a lead ( a tip) or a lead (like on a dog) or a lead as it a lump of lead to sink him ?? I guess the three are the normal progression of a relationship when you think about it .. Like the three rings of marriage: The engagement ring The wedding ring The Bo-ring and don't gimme any of that Walton's stuff coz I know !	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-06 15:24:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Excellent, this is most excellent news. I knew you was one - I just knew !	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-01 21:30:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Oh, all right then. That sounds MUCH better. Especially the Mad Magazine (how did you know?). Sorry about the cramp. I was baptized C of E in the church where the Bronte sister's parents were married and the American poet Longfellow's ancestors were baptized - then I was raised a 'Primitive Methodist' and boy were they. They told me that when I died, I would sit on god's right hand for eternity so long as I was good now and put my pocket money in the collection tray. I figured out that would be a like a flight in economy on Delta that never ended and so I defected to the Baptists but they were huge Scots and I couldn't see what was happening at the front coz I was only little. Then I was C of E again coz they had the prettiest adherents Now, like many on the West Coast of the USA, I howl at the moon and wait for the silver spaceships to come and take me to Krypton. At last I am with a people who think the same way. Edited by saywhat, 01 July 2010 - 07:13 PM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-01 19:12:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Since when has the harem life involved working at t'mill? My god, my god, I have sold myself into white slavery! For a bacon sandwich. That's only for runaways and the ones who get headaches.. My hand maidens sit on my right hand and eat fish and chips with mushy peas and bread and butter and have pint pots of Yorkshire tea and read mad magazine all day It's a formula for cramp, but we Caliphs are raised to it Edited by saywhat, 01 July 2010 - 06:44 PM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-01 18:43:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Good god, you don't intend to work me like that! I am a soft Colonial, merely decorative. 6 months in arkansas doing stoop labour in them old cotton fields will get you ready for the beginners course in being a millstone grit Yorkie. Even P J Proby became a Yorkshireman	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-01 18:29:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	I think I dated that guy once.....AND...he reminds me of someone else...LMAO. OK, I am backing out of this thread. ! Gazza is a dead ringer for my son. He is an imberseal. He said his gf called him that... Edited by saywhat, 01 July 2010 - 06:13 PM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-01 18:10:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Owl will be as soon as her honeyswoon is over. But that Val... She's a wild card. Good thing you can count on me Honeymoon ? When I were a lad we didnt have honeymoons ! We took em round the back of the bike shed for 5 minutes and they were lucky if they didn't get their rented wedding dress covered in rust and chewing gum ! Then off they went back to t'mill for 300 hours non stop, stood up, to earn some money for granddad's baccy	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-01 18:07:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Eeee bah gum. That's all the Yorkshire I know,..... Sounds like you've come a long way from your beginnings at the barn ont'moor. Me, I'm from County Durham....Now gis a bag o'crisps, hinny. Durham is where the posh Geordies live. I bet gazza doesn't know where it is. Actually they are so far south they might stray into Yorkshire when they are out rustling sheep. Here is a photo of a typical north easterner: (not durham of course - oh let's have a fondue party ) http://api.ning.com/...ulgascoigne.jpg	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-01 18:02:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Well, I believe you. And that's all that counts, since I'm still your No 1 Internet Girlfriend. I think. Hooray ! Hope the others are still on board in case you need a day off to go get my beer and dates and batteries for my hand held fan....	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-01 17:57:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Oh dear, Alan is in professional Yorkshireman mode now. Professional Yorkshireman ? When I were a lad nobody got paid for anything. We had to pay the doctor with chickens and small ones at that. He had that many chickens it was a wonderous sight, and they used to get out and peck people and then he would get another chicken to fix the people who had been pecked by his chickens. I caught chicken pox off them. When my sister caught flu off the cat, he looked at her and said have half an aspirin every day for 3 days and you will be fine - and she were so he knew his trade. They only had Catholic approved pills for birth control - an aspirin you hold between your knees. The DOC came out to me ma one day and couldn't see her and asked where she were. Me dad said "She's gone to ligger down". The quack said " I thought she would have stayed here when she knew I was coming over" If you were to tell the young people of today that, they wouldn't believe you lig: reference http://www.viking.no...shire_norse.htm Edited by saywhat, 01 July 2010 - 05:42 PM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-01 17:42:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	All that and a wonderous comb-over to boot! just joking. Couldn't resist! Comb over ? When I were a lad we didn't have combs. We had to scare the cat and scrape it over our heads before it recovered it's serenity.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-01 16:43:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	I don't get mad at him for small things like which exit things are at.. but I'm feeling like a mom that needs to cut the freaking apron strings already. He could have called and asked my mom or sister to walk him through it. It would have been much easier than calling me and interrupting me while I'm working on some government reporting. I am SO happy he is starting a temp job next week. That's just lewd, Alan. White teeth ? I am suffering from Suzy Ormond blindness just now so I have a down on dazzle nashers. As for the other, I think it's praps myth and the ladies might be telling the truth when they say it's the money .... How else would larry king get 7 women to marry him...	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-01 14:46:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	jeez I have gone wrong somewhere All the women I know have got men who can't change a light bulb or find their way to the end of the street and the women pay the bills and buy the GIN ! These guys must have mega appendages or blinding white teeth or something Here is me, the most competent man on the whole planet with more accomplishments than even a guy with a maths degree can count, millions in the bank, few nasal hairs and a waistline to die for - and here I am with 2 cats for company. IT'S NOT FAIR Edited by saywhat, 01 July 2010 - 02:33 PM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-07-01 14:33:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	When I make it to the harem, I will take responsibility for bin collection day, so you don't wear yourself out with menial tasks. Maven and the Owl need you fresh! I am always fresh - even when I am cream crackered That's one of the annoying things about me.... Why be difficult, when with a little effort, you can be downright impossible ?	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-30 12:52:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Uh huh. Sure that's what it was. SSShhhh ! they are listening.... and watching they have put tape recorders in my heels...	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-30 12:49:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	after beer (etc etc) trouble with debauchery is you end uplooking like Keith Richards http://stuffmeganlik...09/07/keith.jpg dash - pic too big and editor wont let me unattach thats better - will reattach soon Edited by saywhat, 30 June 2010 - 12:31 PM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-30 12:28:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Where's the 'mikeafterbeer' picture? after beer (etc etc) trouble with debauchery is yoiu end uplooking like Keith Richards http://stuffmeganlik...09/07/keith.jpg Edited by saywhat, 30 June 2010 - 12:29 PM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-30 12:24:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Apparently, I only get the before beer one! My laptop must be looking out for my delicate sensibilities. Sorry I am a bit slow today... I had a very hectic day yesterday as it was bin collection day and it takes a while to get over the exertion - and I haven't woken up yet I will look for the after shot (after shock)	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-30 12:16:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Where's the 'mikeafterbeer' picture? I can see it embedded in the post ... your comp is bust !	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-30 12:10:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	I know this guy in Dallas...friend of mine from way back, growing up in small town SK. So, good values, I think he is loaded, really nice guy, athletic, races speed boats, works his butt off...oh, and attractive, to boot! I am starting to wonder why I didn't date him again. This is my son He is as thick as two short planks The girls don't care He was fired for driving the fork lift when he was warned 2 hours before that he would be fired if he did. He drives his bus (mine actually) up precipitous mountain roads with los clientes swaying in the back - he is as drunk as a lord from the night before etc etc etc The girls buy him drinks and he has never been married Why bother buying when you can rent - why bother renting when you can get it for nothing ? Edited by saywhat, 30 June 2010 - 12:07 PM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-30 12:06:00
United Kingdom	Irritating BS your SO does	Perhaps some fingerless gloves might be appropriate? Here's some I made earlier, in a scrummy bubblegum pink baby alpaca: ankle muffs for deer ? Actually they would be ok as black pudding muffs are your hands that shape ? edward scissor hands ? Edited by saywhat, 29 June 2010 - 05:59 PM.	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-29 17:57:00
United Kingdom	UK - US could it be divorce ?	At the end of the day I want BP to be responsible for what they have done, whether they are British, American, Antartican, Martian, or whatever....the same of they were Exxon, Standord Oil, Shell....whoever! The damage they have done to human life and the environment is deplorable...the same with any company (I don't care where they are from!) that cuts costs to the detriment of human life and the environment I find it interesting that you think the precious CEO of BP, Tony Hayward, is somehow beyond reproach and should be handles with kid globes because of his degree and years experience is curious, to say the least. Are corporations more important than democratically elected governments? Than the people whose livelihoods and way of life they destroy? You say 'corporations' rather than BP so I take it you are not a supporter of corporations in general. In many cases corporations give people their very livelihoods. They sure gave me mine and I hated my time in local government. I don't approve of slavery or sweat shops or no unions etc, but organised publicly owned corporations have been enormously beneficial to the people who work for them including huge numbers of people in the gulf.. The American rigs have now up-anchored and sailed off to Brazil so sometimes whacking corporations can leave people worse off. There has to be a balance and it is always swaying back and forth I though Tony Hayward gave a quiet, factual, responsible performance today. He wasn't told to commit suicide like the CEO of BP America was (by a congressman) but he handled some mischievous statements very well	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-17 17:00:00
United Kingdom	UK - US could it be divorce ?	Exactly - why is it ok for you to do it, but we can't? I guess because we're nationalistic Americans. I'm quite happy to criticize the US whenever its warranted. The fact that I'm having trouble finding fault in this situation - other than O's bumblings (which I believe I larfed at previously in this thread), and some stupid comments by congressman here or there - isn't my fault. I suppose I don't find the victims on the rig or the Gulf Coast residents feeling the effects as having done something wrong - sorry! What we 'guys' get homeland security about is someone like you who sees fault around every corner and a conspiracy of sorts every time you turn around. But what I'm starting to comprehend now is that this is due to how you view America and Americans - in very low esteem. Frankly I'm shocked that you ever married 'one of us'. I still contend she must have no idea how contemptible you find us to be. Tracy that is just ridiculous Because I dont like a congressman you say I don't like ALL Americans Because I don't like too much nationalism, you say I hate America You imply that if my wife is a good American, she should leave me Are you sure you are posting in a balanced way or are you seized by nationalism and going over the top ?	Captain Oates	Male	England	2010-06-17 13:33:00