ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
Middle East and North AfricaHow come lots of MENA members don't have Pics posted
Who was that poster who harassed/stalked everyone and finally got banned? The only clear thing that I can recall is when she remarked that someone's husband looked like Hermann Munster.
HannahPFemaleCanada2011-03-04 23:21:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow come lots of MENA members don't have Pics posted

Someone with an Egyptian so did just that, and another vj member satirized her videos on their blog. Granted the videos were pretty amazing, and no one forced her to post them on YouTube or advertise their availability on YouTube, but some feelings were definitely hurt in the whole thing.

I don't think her videos were actually satirized -- that particular member pointed out that the original member flew more than 2,000 miles to meet her fiance, as stated in video. Several people pointed out that having 10+ kids and wanting to marry someone who was at least 30+ years younger than you was kinda funny.
HannahPFemaleCanada2011-03-02 23:59:00
Middle East and North AfricaHow come lots of MENA members don't have Pics posted

And it's not just the outside bloggers you have to beware of. I think quite a few of us remember a certain VJ member who lifted photos from an unpopular MENA member's profile, then re-posted them on this very forum later on (months after the MENA member had removed them) in an attempt to harrass her.......... BTW the "perp" was neither banned from VJ nor from this forum, but instead was actually elevated to MENA moderator by the site owner. So ladies & gents, be very careful what you reveal here.


Dammit, this is driving me nuts! I like to think that I've been around/lurked enough to know who you're talking about but I don't. :( I know the she-who-must-not-be-named, however.

On the flip side, you can just videotape every moment of your vacation to Moroc. :P
HannahPFemaleCanada2011-03-02 01:26:00
Middle East and North AfricaAbuse of power in the American Consulate

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck - it's a freaking duck.

Ignoring the signs of fraud is the problem with many in this forum. I have seen year after year several navigate over to the effects forum and legitimately ask " why doesn't the consulate DO something"? For real. Well, they are. And always have. It's your (general you) stupid ####### that begs/pleads/throws chat logs around to prove mutual love. Eventually MOST of the time the consulate gives in or accepts the new case (ie: denied K1 reapplied as a CR1). Don't blame the consulates.


Oh snap.
HannahPFemaleCanada2011-02-26 18:35:00
Middle East and North AfricaMy husband and my child

The biggest thing you need to do is just be yourself and take care of your child. That way no matter what happens, you didnt lose the relationship with your child. Its very hard to get those years back, especially pre teen and alot of women seem to be more relationship focused, which is really tragic when the relationships most likely wont last and then their kids and teens get the short end of the stick. Your kids are all you really have in this life..other than your parents and the focus should always remain on them and not anything else


...this? Coming from YOU of all people?

You do realize that you fell into the same abusive-MENA-man-woman-got-used relationship that you warn everyone about...right? Yet *you* continue to talk to your abuser, etc. But that's okay? Has that messed up YOUR kids any? I can't even fathom why a woman whose husband physically abused her while she was pregnant (which you said that he did -- either you were lying or this is the truth) would continue to talk to that man...yet you feel qualified to counsel women...why again?

/my head, it just asploded
//maybe I've been around here too long?
HannahPFemaleCanada2011-05-18 23:09:00
Middle East and North AfricaMy husband and my child

Do you also want to be so crazy that you walk around Canada wearing your wedding dress with a door strapped to your back symbolizing that you and your wedding were used as a doorway into Canada??? :wacko:


...touché.
HannahPFemaleCanada2011-05-09 14:02:00
Middle East and North AfricaMy husband and my child

THE PRICE OF HEARTACHE....english documentary


Whoa. Hot chicks get caught up in green card scams, too? Who knew!

/wishes I could look that good with a nose ring
HannahPFemaleCanada2011-05-09 13:34:00
Middle East and North AfricaMuslims
QUOTE (Barza Woman @ Apr 10 2009, 07:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm an Arab Muslim who doesn't wear a headscarf, and a big proponent of not forcing sister converts into wearing headscarves. There is WAAAAY too much emphasis on women as bearers of tradition,and on their modesty and identity as Muslims in Arab culture that has leeched over into Islam. For women, dressing like an Arab to be Muslim has become the norm.

I don't feel shunned, personally, cause I carry some big guns, but some Muslims who believe it's mandatory can be quite ridiculous and rude when they meet Muslimas who dont wear it. And non-Muslims are often very surprised when they encounter a Muslima who doesn't wear it. It's truly unfortunate how hijab has become the overwhelming issue for our community over the last 30 years. It's become an identity shorthand, like wearing a daishiki, sporting a big Afro, and doing the secret handshake was for Blacks in the 1970's. There are so many more important things in learning and growth that should take priority, but it always falls back to hijab.


Huh. You're obviously very conservative, so this interests me.

So you're saying that it does not say in the Qur'an that women must cover their hair? I know that in the old testament, women must cover their heads whilst praying. Why is it that women Muslims often cover their hair, then?
HannahPFemaleCanada2009-04-10 22:54:00
Middle East and North AfricaMuslims
QUOTE (Zee Bee @ Apr 8 2009, 07:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (HannahP @ Apr 8 2009, 07:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm reading a book --) In the Land of Invisible Women by a doctor who lived in Saudi for two years. She is a Muslim. Anyway. My question is, every time she refers to the Prophet Muhammed, she puts (PBUH) after it. I know that means peace be upon him. But why does she have to do that? Do all Muslims have to do that?


It is a sign of respect. The same would go for other prophets. I have never known it to be a requirement per se.

I am sure someone with a more detailed explanation will come along smile.gif


That's cool! I was raised Catholic so I guess I equate saints to prophets and...yeah. Just obliviousness.
HannahPFemaleCanada2009-04-08 19:42:00
Middle East and North AfricaMuslims
I'm reading a book --) In the Land of Invisible Women by a doctor who lived in Saudi for two years. She is a Muslim. Anyway. My question is, every time she refers to the Prophet Muhammed, she puts (PBUH) after it. I know that means peace be upon him. But why does she have to do that? Do all Muslims have to do that?
HannahPFemaleCanada2009-04-08 18:57:00
Middle East and North AfricaCombating the "yo mama don't live here" issue
db

Edited by HannahP, 22 August 2011 - 09:08 PM.

HannahPFemaleCanada2011-08-22 21:07:00
Middle East and North AfricaCombating the "yo mama don't live here" issue

and dont leave him, leave the others say whatever. you love him even if he's lazy, i love my baby to death no matter what. a woman has to be half wife and half mother for her husband. you have to educate him, teach him whats good and bad all over again. guys grow up slower. thats what im doing with my hard headed fiance and after 1 year it seems im going in the right direction. and buy yourself a car LOL. if he ever wants to use it make him clean something to deserve his driving reward



Oh, honey. No, you shouldn't be half wife and half mother to your husband. You really shouldn't.

I've been living with my husband for over seven years now. Long time in VJ history. We've been together for over ten.

I love my husband dearly. Still do after all these years.

And, at one point, I really did think that it was about teaching and "he'll just grow up eventually" etc.

It's not. It's about constant fighting -- broken promises -- more fighting -- frustration. All over again. Year after year. I sometimes look around at the mess he builds up and wonder if he sees the same reality that I do. Like...where does he live to say that it's not messy? Not here, apparently.

I DO NOT think that cleaning should be a reason to break up an otherwise happy marriage. But in families that cannot afford extra help -- it can be a breaking point. It has been for us and he still doesn't get it. If you can afford help, than TAKE IT.

But you'll very shortly grow bored of playing mother to your husband, trust me.
HannahPFemaleCanada2011-08-22 21:07:00
Middle East and North AfricaCombating the "yo mama don't live here" issue

Really it's a Mini Cooper. I'll be paying cash for it. I never get anything for myself, I'm getting my car.


Thanks to everyone for their advice. I won't be quitting any jobs, I won't be leaving him- I don't give up so easy. Ya'll have a great day



Hey, if it works for you guys -- then it works. I've been arguing with my husband for over seven years now about this very same issue. I definitely don't believe it's a reason to get divorced (and if I were like, oh my Canadian husband won't clean up -- versus my MENA husband won't clean up) -- how many people would be acting like we should get divorced?

/no kids 'tho
HannahPFemaleCanada2011-08-17 20:32:00
Middle East and North AfricaCombating the "yo mama don't live here" issue
For what it's worth, I've been struggling to get my husband to do any housework for the last six of the seven years that we've lived together.

I think I've tried everything that has been suggested in this thread. Be patient. Be assertive. Make lists. Don't nag. Nag. Take away his things. Withhold sex. Reinforce when he does do something through praise or treats or sex. Adult conversations. Yelling. Crying. Like your husband, he will "shape up" and do stuff for a few days or even a week or two before it falls back into the same ol' pattern. Guilt seems to work the best -- the longest time that he actually pulled his weight around the house was after I caught him in an online/texting relationship with his WoW girlfriend.

Anyway, things are a bit different because you two have a child together. So you have to pull together to do some things. At least he's taking good care of the kid? I've completely separated "my chores" from his these days. I do my own laundry, wash my own dishes, and make my own food.
HannahPFemaleCanada2011-06-29 15:50:00
Middle East and North AfricaRiads in Casablanca
Whoa. It's the Islamic version of Bevets.

/summon Bevets
HannahPFemaleCanada2012-01-14 20:57:00
Middle East and North AfricaFeeling Guilty....???
For what it's worth -- my husband is Canadian, has been in the US pretty much consistently for the last ten years, living with me for the last eight years, and he still gets home sick. Mostly for a dynamic that doesn't exist any more. He's been in the US since he was 18. He's 28. In the mean time, his parents got divorced and remarried, and his siblings and friends have grown up and moved to opposite ends of Canada, etc.

As the US citizen, I think that's what ways so heavily on *my* mind. I remember back in the day when I felt so bad about "taking" him away from his family and friends in Canada. Even without the added culture shock that someone from MENA must feel when moving to the US. Wait until you've put in nearly a decade together and start feeling even worse because the familial and cultural disconnect has lead your husband to pine over things that don't even exist anymore.

/so basically what I'm saying is that it only gets suckier as time goes on.
//debby downer
HannahPFemaleCanada2012-03-22 14:16:00
Middle East and North AfricaAddressing possible red flags in i-130 -- EGYPT

All I can say is I soooooooo wish I found the love of my life at 18.


Look. I get that I'm not married to a MENA/third world/whatevs man so I don't really understand. But I do understand this -- and no, you don't.

I'm the OP ten years down the line, assuming that she's not being used for a greencard etc. I love my husband very, very much. But if I could turn back time, we'd both have dated around and had the opportunity to experience life, love, and sex prior to becoming mutually exclusive as sixteen-seventeen year-olds.
HannahPFemaleCanada2013-02-20 00:43:00
Middle East and North AfricaAddressing possible red flags in i-130 -- EGYPT
Eeeh when my husband wants pancakes, we go out to eat because nothing truly says love like conspicuous consumption.
HannahPFemaleCanada2013-02-19 08:29:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresHad my interview today, Affidavit of Support got denied

It sounds like you need a good paying job now. Forget begging for co-sponsors. The trucking industry is in desperate need of man power. Don't know what you are doing now. But, it sounds to me like extra income is in order. I suggest you try trucking. You can train with one of the bigger companies, work for them for one year and move on to a better paying company. You will start at around $40,000 depending on miles driven. You will have a job for life. after about four years, you will be averaging 60-70K per year. Only a suggestion. You can start as early as next week if you do some serious investigating. I would try SWIFT Transport. They are the biggest operation in the US now and are always looking for drivers. If you have a decent driving record, no criminal record and a good work history, you will be a good candidate. Good luck. Alaways try to think outside that tiny box.


I seriously adore your love of trucking. It's like...your solution to everything but it's very admirable.
HannahPFemaleCanada2011-05-02 22:02:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresDOES ANYBODY THINK THIS WILL BE A PROBLEM??
QUOTE (canadian_wife @ May 14 2009, 06:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (HannahP @ May 14 2009, 07:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When I was in seventh grade, a girl carved "I Love Satin" into her arm.

She had misspelled Satan.


Maybe she just really liked silky fabrics


Nooo! We asked. 'cause she was, like, gothy.
"Why do you love Satin?"
"No, it's Satan."
"....."
HannahPFemaleCanada2009-05-14 18:12:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresDOES ANYBODY THINK THIS WILL BE A PROBLEM??
When I was in seventh grade, a girl carved "I Love Satin" into her arm.

She had misspelled Satan.
HannahPFemaleCanada2009-05-14 18:05:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresWhy is K1 faster? PLEASE ANSWER.
QUOTE (Delicia @ Mar 28 2008, 11:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I actually posed this question to my senator's aide when I got him on the phone. My senator is on the senate sub-committee for immigration and has served on that committee for several years.

I posed the argument that it would faster for me to divorce my husband (it only takes ~90 days in AZ) and sponsor him as a fiance then it would for the comparable K-3 (divorce time included). He agreed and said he had heard that argument before and it was completely justified. He sated that the K-3 has not been processed or handled as Congress intended since he inception of the K-3 7 years ago. He said now, there have been several bills trying to reform immigration but they are all tabled and they kept getting bogged down with amendments to address the illegal immigration issues. Either way, I am an IR-1 filer and this doesn't help me at all. I filed in October and still am sitting on my thumbs waiting for a NOA-2, but it is a frustrating experience, to say the least.

I don't expect anything to change anytime soon as immigration is such a controversial topic right now. I did write a bit about it on my blog though and posed some ideas of my own on how to improve the system (link in my signature).


Oh, give me a break. What keeps your "hypothetical" mail-order couple from getting married in Russia and applying for a K3? Except that it doesn't fit your pre-conceived prejudices. Why elevate the K3 when divorce rates in the US are 50%, anyway? What about all the people who meet their SO in person for the first time, ever, and are married a few days later?

I've known my husband for seven years. We lived together for two years prior to filing the visa. We spent weeks together at a time prior to living together. And, hey, despite having all the same emotional and even financial entanglements that resulted (marriage-like, OMG!), we still filed for a K1.
HannahPFemaleCanada2008-03-28 17:25:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresThis really pissed me off!!!
Man. Why not take this reasoning to the logical step and start screening for couples who are likely to end up divorced, anyway? Statistically, that's fifty percent of us. Kick those guys to the back of the line, please! Why should I have to wait those extra few months when Mr. and Mrs. Jo Schmo are going to tie up resources with their immigration petition, only to get divorced a few years later?
HannahPFemaleCanada2008-06-09 15:43:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & Proceduresanyone here is a petitioner who didnt work for 3 or more years.but use co sponsor and was approved?
How's he going to support you when you get here? Are you two going to live with his parents? (At least you'll come in with work-authorization and be able to support the both of you?)
HannahPFemaleCanada2008-06-30 21:09:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresDOES ANYBODY THINK THIS WILL BE A PROBLEM??
QUOTE (canadian_wife @ May 14 2009, 06:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (HannahP @ May 14 2009, 07:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When I was in seventh grade, a girl carved "I Love Satin" into her arm.

She had misspelled Satan.


Maybe she just really liked silky fabrics


Nooo! We asked. 'cause she was, like, gothy.
"Why do you love Satin?"
"No, it's Satan."
"....."
HannahPFemaleCanada2009-05-14 18:12:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresDOES ANYBODY THINK THIS WILL BE A PROBLEM??
When I was in seventh grade, a girl carved "I Love Satin" into her arm.

She had misspelled Satan.
HannahPFemaleCanada2009-05-14 18:05:00
IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & ProceduresTimeframe Comment

Not too long ago it took up to two years for the proces from application to interview, and before that you have to have been married ( In spousal case) for at least two years before applying to prove that you have a bonafide relationship. No matter all the pictures and chat logs, you had to have been married on paper for at least two years!!


Kind of interested in what the time frame for "not too long ago" is. I can definitely tell you that this wasn't the case four-five years ago when we sent in our application. Processing was actually faster back then -- although it seems to be picking up again? And re. being married for two years, sounds like he's either confusing the meeting within two years requirement or the fact that you get a ten year greencard if you enter the US after being married for two years. :)
HannahPFemaleCanada2010-11-01 14:21:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresHe already has an I-94.
What if we're interested in holding off the wedding for as long as possible? :) (I have traditional parents, unfortunately.)
HannahPFemaleCanada2006-09-02 02:06:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresHe already has an I-94.

My fiance already has an I-94. He'll be graduating from university this spring. Should we start the K1 process right now?


Well, an I-94 means that he can stay until he's graduated from university, I think. He'll be graduating in the winter. But we are engaged, and I would like it if he could get a job after he graduates in the spring. (He's Canadian, I'm American.) Should I send in the K1 form, now? Stating that he's my fiance, although he still has his student visa?
HannahPFemaleCanada2006-09-02 00:42:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresHe already has an I-94.
My fiance already has an I-94. He'll be graduating from university this spring. Should we start the K1 process right now?
HannahPFemaleCanada2006-09-01 23:01:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresAdding evidence post-submission?

HannahP,

What are you thinking would be the point of adding these documents to your petition submission?

So what that you went to visit your fiance last week, what has that got to do with your petition?

Yodrak

.....

We submitted the K1 in January; last week, I went up to visit my fiance. I kept the airplane ticket stubs as proof -- can I submit these to be added on to our application? Should I, or is it not even worth the effort?

.....


Well, if they send a RFE because I didn't include enough evidence in the first petition...
/paranoid :P
HannahPFemaleCanada2007-03-23 19:21:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresAdding evidence post-submission?
Ahh, okay, thanks! I'll keep them around anyway, just in case.
HannahPFemaleCanada2007-03-23 14:52:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresAdding evidence post-submission?
Okay, I swear I saw the answer to my question somewhere on this site but I've been reading for hours and still haven't found it? *scratches head*

We submitted the K1 in January; last week, I went up to visit my fiance. I kept the airplane ticket stubs as proof -- can I submit these to be added on to our application? Should I, or is it not even worth the effort?

Thanks. Blah. I'm such a ditz.
HannahPFemaleCanada2007-03-23 14:42:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresWhat if we can't meet financial requirements?
Paula&Minya -

The OP's history and looks, ah, remind me of someone that is a member of another board that I am also on. (Completely non-visa related.) So I'm a little freaked out myself.
HannahPFemaleCanada2007-05-19 09:16:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresWhat if we can't meet financial requirements?

Just a question. I understand the need for the financial support, but the level is set at $16,000? I am in the process of bringing my fiancee here and decided to get a different job because I didn't think the $30,000 I am making now would be good enough to support her and myself. For those of you that just made the cutoff, how realistically can you support a wife/husband and yourself on that?


The boy and I are lucky because we can both live at home (rent-free) while working full-time. (If he'd stop messing up the cars of little old ladies, anyway!) I have around three thousand in the bank, but I'm starting up our apartment and paying all sorts of first time start-up fees, furniture that didn't make the move from ND, etc. Starting out on your own is almost as scary as the visa process.

I make $9.50 full-time, and plan on picking up a part-time job over the summer. He's working major overtime in his country, and will probably have around four-five thousand saved up by the time he comes down. I think we'll probably be relying on that to get us through to the EAD.

Obviously, we haven't actually gone through this all. It's all speculative and based off our spending habits from North Dakota when we lived together. I've been budgeting like mad, trying to make us self-sufficient. (However, I also know that my dad - our co-sponsor - will give us what we need if we should run into trouble.)

Right now, *I* make ~$1,200 a month.
Rent: two-bedroom in a middling college town; $525.
Utilities: we pay all utilities; my best guess is around ~$150 per month. This does not include the stupid start-up fees and first-time user deposits.
Gas will probably be $120 a month because I'm commuting to my full-time job. :lol: I need to invest in a bike for around-town.

None of this includes, well, food or medical. Or the little things that you need to buy when setting up a household like a shower curtain or a couch.

Anyway, can you see I've obsessed about this a little bit? Maybe we need to start a new thread. :P
HannahPFemaleCanada2007-05-18 16:37:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresWhat if we can't meet financial requirements?

So, more work you guys say huh? I'm willing to do whatever it takes, I always have been. The fear that my efforts are useless hold me back.


What about taking on a second, part-time job to help boost your overall income? (Helps if you can switch to working twelve hour shifts, although I'm starting to think that the hospital industry is the only one that does that anymore.)

Getting a GED is actually pretty easy, and it's also usually pretty cheap. (I know it's under $100 in Kansas.) That would open up a world of higher paying secretarial/management jobs. You can get free study materials and guides through the liberary.

It's not useless. It'll just take time. Look at this period in your relationship as training for the wait that you'll have to experience while going through the K-1 process.

edit - I also know what it's like to suffer from depression. (In general, not just related to the visa.) Sometimes, the best thing that you can do for yourself is to make a list of what needs to be done and start doing it. Push all those emotions and fatigue and I-can't-do-its aside. The more you think, the more tangled up you get in the despair.

Edited by HannahP, 18 May 2007 - 01:46 PM.

HannahPFemaleCanada2007-05-18 13:43:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresWhat if we can't meet financial requirements?
Durr, that's what I was thinking but it's hard trying to concentrate on my stupid job AND the forum at the same time.

Although I am curious -- have you two met in person? (Traveling is expensive.) That's also a requirement for the K-1...


Already answered in the initial post.

for two weeks in December '06 we holidayed together in Holland.


HannahPFemaleCanada2007-05-18 10:50:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresWhat if we can't meet financial requirements?
I've been in a fairly similar situation, money-wise. po' college student with a crappy part-time job.

My fiance was here on a student visa and graduated in December. I moved back home nine months early in order to work and save up money. (Living with my mom & not having to pay for rent/food!) I chose not to be with him over the summer, in Canada, so that I could work and save up money.

I took a semester off of college and continued to work and save up money.
I went back to college only part-time in order to work and save up money.

I am lucky that my dad is willing and able to co-sponsor us. However, as someone has already pointed out, getting him over here is only half the problem. The whole process only gets more and more expensive as you go along. On top of that, he (probably) won't be able to work for ~ninety days once he gets here. Supporting two people on a single, small income is one challenge that I'm not looking forward to. (And we have several thousand in the bank, combined.)

Okay, enough about me. :P Not that there's much that hasn't already been said:

get a second job. It really isn't about education. I don't have a university degree yet and I'm making $9.50 an hour doing secretarial work.
have patience. Your situation is only as hopeless as you make it sound. And the more hopeless you get, the more convinced you become that your situation really is hopeless.

Although I am curious -- have you two met in person? (Traveling is expensive.) That's also a requirement for the K-1...
HannahPFemaleCanada2007-05-18 10:39:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Proceduresfiancee work concern
Just put her occupation as "IT specialist" or something innocuous-sounding but still accurate.
HannahPFemaleCanada2007-08-08 22:55:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & ProceduresGetting married immediately for AOS
Hahaha. AOS only taking eighty days? Hahahaha!

/not bitter
HannahPFemaleCanada2007-10-31 07:21:00