ForumTitleContentMemberSexCountryDate/Time
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

Essentially this is about whether or not the US government should be allowed to use "harsh interrogation tactics" on people who for whatever random reason raise its suspicions. Going to such lengths in the pursuit of marriage-based immigration fraudsters is both laughable and sad, and at a great cost proves little else except how morally corrupt and dominated by fear and hatred this country has become.

The greatest privilege in my life? Being together with my soulmate. A US visa or a GC? Give me a break. The standard of living and quality of life are much higher in my country of citizenship and a few other countries that I've also lived in. And I've been very happy living in places with a lower standard of living, that to me felt like a privilege too. I don't hate the US, but it's nothing special to me. Just another country with good and bad things. And yes, we're not here to stay. We fully intend to move to either Europe or Asia in a few years. Too many great places to explore in this world! :)


OK then...KEEP IT MOVING!

I get really annoyed at you folks that treat the USA like it's some kind of doggy park, you use it to do your business, then off you go. Well, do not let the door hit you where the Good Lord split you! I proudly wore the uniform and was ready at any hour to put it all on the line so ungrateful folks like you could have your say. Well, to some of us, AMERICA IS SOMETHING SPECIAL! There is no other place for us to "...move to" and enjoy the full host of rights under the Bill of Rights.

Some of you Europeans tend to exhibit the biggest 'holier than thou' attitude and contempt for the U.S., of course you're free to do so.
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-26 15:47:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

It is a privilege, but that doesn't give some paper pusher whose salary I pay the right to ask questions that no decent person would. I understand it's a useful means to spot fraud, but there a lot of ways to spot fraud without getting into questions about sex; the COs just have to work harder. The day we, either as Americans or intending Americans, start just bending over and letting the government treat us anyway they see fit in order to get some "privilege" from them is the day we cease being a free people. And sadly, it's happening already.



Before you blow an artery or have an aneurysm, "...paper pusher," really? Do yourself a favor and research Stokes Interview and the legal case. You may not like the invasive, personal nature of the questions, however, questions of that nature are accepted and used by USCIC and consulates.
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-26 06:50:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

You have no idea what the CO was thinking. What a great career option for some pervert who loves to delve into peoples' private lives.


Ok, and neither do you! The purpose of the questions pertaining to sex was not done to be lewd, lascivious or prurient. To equate a consular officer career as being suitable for a pervert is a bit of a stretch, even for the wildest imaginations.

Since you arrived late, surely you read the OP's post carefully. The questioning was done during a Stokes Interview, not during the initial interview.
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-26 05:58:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

Couples in Ecuador routinely undergo Stokes reamings. The odds vary according to embassy and situation.


Finally you show up Mr. TBone, I was calling out to ya, si man! :yes:
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-26 02:57:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

Hi all,
I believe that the IO could ask you things that were not sexual in nature to get the desired result, but I guess sex questions are a very good indicator of the truth. It would be rare that you would forget things like your partners favourite position, or how you had sex last night. Conversely it is easy to forget what colour your partner's tooth brush is or what his first pet's name was.

I do not like being asked about my sex life. I am a prude I guess.

My partner and I have discussed this and if asked we will say that we are waiting to have sex until marriage if asked. Whether or not that is a true statement, the IO will not know and not question, as long as our answers are the same.

Make sense?


No it does not make sense. So you would jeopardize the opportunity to be with your loved one in his/her country because you are a self confessed "prude?"

Makes no sense at all. Is it not better to get passed a few embarrassing questions and stay focused on the big picture to achieve the goal of immigrating?
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 23:15:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

Who is this?? This is too sad/frustrating. I REALLY hope he gets deported and barred for life.


Read about it here., then you'll know.

http://www.visajourn...218-hes-gone-;/
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 22:56:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

Why the stokes?

This one slipped in ... and broke a heart in the process (he should have had his AXX stoked!!):

Well, for those who saw my post earlier this week and all of the drama.....he decided last night that he wasn't in love with me anymore and didn't want to be with me. He left my house and returned today with police to get his things. There's a ton of ugliness in between last nght and now that happened but emotionally, I can't relive that right now so I'll omit that. But I will say that it was discovered he was in fact using me for the visa and this entire marriage was a lie, for him. My heart is broken but I know this is for the better. I called ICE and filed my fraud complaint and will follow through with the remaining steps.

I guess that the breaking point was when he had his friend confront me and tell me that I'm a crazy ###### if I thought any Dominican man would love an ugly gringa like me. And that he got what he wanted, the visa, so it was best to leave him alone now.

The rest of my day consisted of an overwhelming amount of messages and emails from his family offering money not to report him. Smh.

I know I'm crazy but I still love him. It absolutely kills me that he's done this and that I have to second guess all of the beautiful moments we had together. I may never get the answers I want but I'll have peace and that's most important.

I want to thank everyone so much for all of their advice while I've been on here. This is an amazing site.

My journey ends here ......



Yeap, an ideal candidate for a Stokes!

This is also very revealing and incriminating, "The rest of my day consisted of an overwhelming amount of messages and emails from his family offering money not to report him."

Edited by Leatherneck, 25 February 2012 - 09:44 PM.

LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 21:40:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

I agree on this!


You agree on what?
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 21:15:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

Yes. And at the root of such an effort are individuals who have been subjected to humiliating and inapropriate treatment by the government and decide to speak out. Isn't that what the OP is trying to do? Being treated with disrespect is not a privilege.


Did you miss this little nugget the OP revealed in her post? "When they asked us when we started dating we said the general "oh in January of 2010" and we looked at each other searching for an approximate date. Think maybe that is why the first CO was not convinced of a valid relationship?"

The Stokes Interview or being 'Stoked' is a tool, an exploratory tool, yes, a fishing expedition, nothing more.

A Stokes is not a come on in, let me take your jacket, sit here in this Samtanbrogio Italian leather recliner, put your head back, here-take off those shoes, put your feet in these rabbit lined slippers, prop your feet up on this leather ottoman, oh...can I get you a chilled bottle of Perrier, some champagne or how about some warm milk? And while you're getting comfortable, my assistant will blow up some pretty metallic balloons, then serve you some freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, compliments of the consulate culinary staff.

It is a tool used to discover discrepancies, inconsistencies, little lies, big outright lies and to determine if a relationship is valid or of convenience. A Stokes can and sometimes reaches a level of invasiveness that is embarrassing and humiliating to the point of injuring one's dignity.

Sure the CO could've asked what they ate for breakfast or if the fiance combs his hair to the right or left, that would've been too easy, then why even have a second interview?

I wish I could tell you differently, it is what it is.
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 21:09:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

I don't think being asked if a condom was used and who initiated things all that intimate.... heck I hear more personal details from the woman in front of me at the checkout line as she yaks on her cell phone. Some people seem to get their panties in a twist over anything that is even slightly related to the "S" word....

I guess training films in boot camp are humiliating and offensive too... as they are telling all the guys to "wear a raincoat".... :rofl:

I initiated it and didn't wear a condom.... jeez!


:lol:
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 20:06:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

This is a stokes interview in Ecuador. See TBoneTx for further. If they had not had sex, just say "We are not married we don't have sex" If he is in the other room saying the same thing...no problem.

Very intimate questions are used to reveal if a couple is telling the truth about the re;ationship, they have no interest in their sex life per se.

If it is reported they will explain they were doing what is within their authority to prevent visa fraud. Be happy your answers were the same or close enough. Enjoy life.


Thank you for chiming in, the very idea of the amount of discretion a CO or an IO has seems to offend many. Guess they're not so familiar with being 'Stoked,' the level of invasiveness and very personal nature of the questions.
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 20:03:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

Incredibly cordial, polite, thorough, and respectful response...in contrast to others I've seen. :thumbs:



For example?

A Google search would have revealed the same "Incredibly cordial, polite, thorough, and respectful response..."

Edited by Leatherneck, 25 February 2012 - 07:35 PM.

LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 19:29:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

Point is, it should not be within their discretion to resort to these kinds of questions. In my world, the end does not justify the means. The means, though, do reveal character.


That would be within the discretion of congress and the DOS. You're free to lobby congress to make a change, that is a part of "redress of grievances."
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 19:22:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

There are a million questions they can ask to accomplish their objective that don't involve intimate sexual details. Based on this, you have to wonder whether their goal is to get to the truth, or to humiliate, embarrass and offend. These questions shouldn't be legal, or deemed legitimate.


I get that, I get those questions were invasive and very personal, that is not lost on me.

Of course there are a million questions could've been resorted to. Consular officers utilize 'discretion' and it's within their discretion to determine what questions to ask, even if it offends, humiliates and embarrasses.

There are other options to avoid being 'Stoked,' refuse to answer, refuse to attend. Securing a visa to the U.S. or any country is a privilege and not a right.
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 18:32:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

Yes, but there are so many aspects of their lives that could have been investigated. Does he snore? What is his shoe size? How often does he shave? and so on.


Of course, the CO very well could have asked what they had for dinner the night before or some night three days prior. The CO has discretion as to how invasive the questions will be.

Unless there is a memorandum I am not aware of from the State Dept., or the Office of Visa Services, CO discretion regarding questions during the Stokes Interview is reality. However, over the line, invasive or insensitive it is to the general public, a petitioner/beneficiary.
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 18:11:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

have been wanting to put this out there for some time so I might as well do it now.

In general our experience was like anyone else's. A lot of waiting for the NOA2 and then the scheduling of the interview. Everything is nerve wracking and you are always afraid someone is going to tell you sorry and hand back months of hard work. Looking back it's one of those things that you just have to wait on and plug through it and it should all work out, but don't expect it to be a cake walk.

As we were called up to the first window for the interview, they asked my fiance like 2 questions in Spanish and then the woman started to ask me things in English like he wasn't even there. I didn't appreciate that since my fiance didn't speak English. As for the questions, we are just simply not super sentimental people and it really seems that's what they like. When they asked us when we started dating we said the general "oh in January of 2010" and we looked at each other searching for an approximate date. We do not celebrate our "one month of dating" anniversary or even the "one year" anniversary. We starting dating that month but we didn't mark it on our calendar. That was the first thing. Then I got the questions about our wedding plans. As others have stated it seems as though you should just make up a date even if you don't have one just to appease them. We had talked about a date but couldn't finalize it because of WAITING FOR A VISA. So I gave them the date I hoped for and she started asking about the wedding dress. I had already bought it and I loved it, but since I am a simple person, it was a simple dress - your basic strapless without beading, without embroidery and it's only distinguishing feature was one large pleat/fold in the front and light grey in color. So I gave her exactly what it looked like which I realize sounds like pretty much any generic wedding dress description, but that was my dress. After about 15 minutes of that I was waiting for the "your approved" statement and instead we got the question "could you come back at 4 p.m. today for a more extensive interview." Of course we said yes and were sent away with an appointment slip to go sweat out 2 hours. My poor fiance tried to calm me down as we got some food and prepared for the "Stokes interview" as it's called.

We returned and had to wait more, then they called us and he went first. They interviewed him for about 40 minutes while I waited and then he had to wait out of sight while they called me down then he went up to wait. The interviewer was different from the other two people we had talked with and it was a young male. I answered basic questions about my fiance and his family and things like music he likes. Then things got a little more personal. I was asked when was the last time we had sex? where was it? did he use a condom? I was asked who initiates use of the condom and do I ever let him not use one. I could not believe I was being asked things like that but of course I answered all of the questions not wanting any problems and possibly being denied a visa. At the end of everything my fiance was called back down and the guy said that we had passed but we'd have to wait for a decision because he was not authorized to make the final decision.

Following that, we had no further problems with getting the visa, everything arrived fine and we are now in the US, but I sort of want to bring this up with someone here in the US. My family has told me to just let it go and not cause waves, but it really makes me mad that things like that are allowed and no-one is going to say anything for fear of getting denied. Is that really a legal line of questioning? Or am I just being a prude American? Did that happen to anyone else? Before the interview we had talked about things in our relationship, but I didn't want to try hashing out exact answers that we didn't have because I didn't want us to sound like we had scripted what we said. Now I think we should have done something like that just to give them what they wanted to hear.



The bottom line OP, you and your fiance answered the questions satisfactorily as evidenced by "we are now in the US." So obviously you did " give them what they wanted to hear." That is the most important thing.

You have no recourse, there is nothing you can do, you are not the first couple to endure a "Stokes Interview," you were 'Stoked' and you will not be the last.

Congratulations on getting the K-1!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 17:08:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

I wasn't aware sex was mandatory for engaged people.


Sex is not mandatory, however, you're missing the point. The CO was no more interested in that couples sex life as he is your sex life.

The CO was looking for discrepancies, "we looked at each other searching for an approximate date." might have been enough to the first CO to trigger the "Stokes Interview."

Again, Ecuador is well known for the hurdles and road blocks they throw up and for being a real pain.

TBone, where are you, si man!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 16:57:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

I disagree. There is a limit to how far one must go, and such questions are pushing it. They are demeaning and they should not be asked.


You are free to disagree all you wish, do yourself a favor and research "Stokes Interviews" and you will discover how invasive they can be. All couples are not asked questions of a sexual nature, yet some are. Couples have been denied visas, AOS and ROC, not because they lied about sex or intimacy... but due to discrepancies and inconsistencies in the statements that a couple in a valid relationship would both know.

You may not like the line of questioning, take that up with congress and get the "Stokes Interview" made illegal. Then couples won't get 'Stoked.'
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 16:46:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

I firmly disagree with you and honestly, truly hope that you are wrong. What kind of a country is this, if people are forced to disclose details about their sex lives for public record?!?


You are free to disagree with me, however, as the OP stated, this was the more in depth "Stokes Interview" where the questions can be personal and invasive.

By the way, I am not wrong. If the CO was not satisfied about the validity of a relationship, they can require a more in depth Stokes Interview, the CO is looking for and seeking to discover inconsistencies in the statements between the petitioner and beneficiary.

They are not the first couple to endure a Stokes Interview nor will they be the last.

Edited by Leatherneck, 25 February 2012 - 04:37 PM.

LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 16:31:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

Wait a minute...this is an interview for people who are ENGAGED, not married. These questions may be appropriate for a MARRIED couple to ensure the marriage was consummated, but not for an engaged couple.

Sorry I don't have any advice as to your recourse, but I find these questions to be inappropriate (unless you are pregnant = obviously having sex). I hope someone can direct you to the proper channels to report this.


Engaged or married matters not, if there is no sex, the petitioner/beneficiary is free to state -- No, that might or might be the end of questions related to sex. If the petitioner reveals there is in fact a sexual component to the relationship, then the CO is likely to probe further looking for inconsistencies.

It does not matter how we, the general public or a petitioner/beneficiary might feel about a line of questioning, they are petitioning for a immigration benefit and the CO is looking for lies and inconsistencies. It is best to be straight forward with the answers and keep the goal of securing the visa in mind.
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 16:16:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsInappropriate Interview

That is totally disgusting and inappropriate!! Anyone's sex life is their own business, PRIVATE, and the interviewer definitely crossed the line. I would absolutely report him and file a complaint. So sorry this happened to you!


Nope, the line of questioning did not cross the line. The CO is looking for inconsistencies and outright lies, they have lots of discretion with regards to the questioning.

"we looked at each other searching for an approximate date." Was probably a red flag in the view of the first person to interview the couple. Ecuador is well known to be a tough Embassy/consulate.
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-25 16:01:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsApproved
Congratulations!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-28 02:42:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsNOA 2
Congratulations!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-28 11:33:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports!!!APPROVED!!
Congratulations!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-27 21:46:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsNever give up!
What a serious journey. Congratulations!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-27 23:49:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsNOA2
Congratulations!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-28 10:42:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsNOA 2.. Yes baby!!
Congratulations!

It must be a Cuba thing, the second fast approval within a week.
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-28 10:48:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsHappy Leap Day aka Happy NOA2 Day
Congratulations!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-03-01 03:51:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reportsgot NOA2 hard copy .. WHAT'S NEXT?
Congratulations!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-03-01 03:24:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reportswe have been approved
Congrats!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-03-01 12:45:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reportswe got approved!
Congratulations!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-03-01 09:36:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsAPPROVED!
Congratulations!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-03-01 01:24:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsOMG! We're Approved
Congratulations!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-03-01 05:41:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsWE ARE APPROVED :)!!
Congratulations!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-29 00:46:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsWE ARE APPROVED!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!
Mega Congratulations!

It's finally your time!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-28 03:50:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsAhhh OMG!!!!!

I'm sorry, I read this post and just laughed hahaha.

But seriously, I'm approaching my 3 month mark, VJ gives an estimate of 3/29-4/12 of approval date. But anything is possible! Best wishes.


Glad you found the humor I was projecting.

Yes anything is possible in the land of USCIS -- like 21 and 27 day K-1 approvals for beneficiaries in Cuba or when a petition filed in November gets approved and a petition filed in August has yet to get an approval.
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-03-02 18:20:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsAhhh OMG!!!!!
Three months -- the ink has yet to dry on your petition!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-03-01 19:42:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsWe are Outta Here!
Congratulations!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-02-22 19:07:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsAPPROVED!!!!

hehe i guess so :dance: at least its good to know that all of you here wer happy seeing other members getting approved thanks to him anyway... yeah another waiting for the NVC stage and USEM interview date if i did it on the long waiting time to get approved i can wait another months till i can finally be reunited with my loving hubby. (L) (L) (L)


Yes, you've done the hard part -- you're headed down hill now.

Best wishes!
LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-03-02 20:25:00
K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress ReportsAPPROVED!!!!

thanks Hank amy for the info! :) and to all of you thank you!!!


Congratulations!

Your case now goes to NVC where it will be processed to "case closed" and "Interview date assigned."

You still have a few more months of waiting.

The links provided and the DS forms will not apply to you -- those are for K1/K2.

I think Hank was happy that you're approved and included the K1/K2 info.

Edited by Leatherneck, 02 March 2012 - 02:58 PM.

LeatherneckMalePhilippines2012-03-02 14:54:00