biggish data

QUOTE

im fascinated by this... 3 months w/ almost 100% daylight... i know alaska is like this and read a lot of fun stuff in alaska... what state you guys from?

We're from Alaska. Interior. Live in a log cabin in the woods. Millions of acres of wilderness outside the front, back, and side of the cabin.

This is a little better idea of the size of moose coming into the yard. My wife is five feet tall and 82 lbs (before becoming pregnant). The hot tub deck here behind this moose is five feet. This moose is probably 1200 lbs or so. But they get up to 1800 lbs:

Lira is from Iligan City, Mindanao.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2009-06-07 12:49:00

QUOTE (Rocky_nBullwinkle @ Jun 6 2009, 08:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It's freakin' cold out there. I won't survive the winter. I'm a wuss.

Must be tough navigating your way through the snow using that bulldozer eh? Have you seen any mooses?

We see moose in the yard pretty often. Occasionally bears. I had to shoot one trying to break into the cabin. Not the one in the picture above. It was a black bear trying to break in. Wolves you never see, but they come in and steal anything they can eat if it is a bad year for them food-wise.

She saw five moose a few days ago working on the airplane. Lots of sandhill cranes too.

A moose in the background here. To the left of her face. In February we have very little light - this is the middle of the "day":

But in the summer it doesn't get dark for three months.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2009-06-07 11:52:00

Lira lives in the interior of Alaska. Gets down to -50 F in normal winters, as low as -65 F or colder in the really good ones. Not wind chill. Raw temperature.

We live in the forest about 35 miles from town. Here she is running a D-3 bulldozer clearing the road to our cabin:

A skid-steer (some call it a bobcat, which is a brand of skid steer):

Cutting with a chain saw (we heat with wood):

She can handle a .44 magnum pistol:

Her doggy Torque, who weighs 30 lbs more than she does:

Sleeping with a grizzly bear hide blanket (husband shot this bear in self defense)

Oh, then there's her husband. Renegade Bush Pilot:

Pretty much the same life she had in the Philippines.

She has a blog at

http://alaskafilippina.blogspot.com/

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2009-06-06 23:16:00

Thank you pinay wife, rheanick, and bituin

I'm of course thrilled to have her. Filipinas are the most beautiful girls on earth. Inside and out.

You should be wearing a coat in that picture pinay wife!

It IS cold.

So we stay under the covers a lot.

It's warming to see how happy everyone is in your photos. We understand! So are we!

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2009-04-20 12:05:00

Getting a housewife credit

Not much different for her than on Mindanao, really...

Except of course it's a lot more crowded, and polluted and traffic and noise here...

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2009-04-19 23:20:00

Thailand

I don't understand why people borrow money for vehicles. Just buy what you can afford. I haven't spent more than $2,400 on a vehicle in 30 years. Then you can put anyone on the title you want. Even a trailer can be titled.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2014-06-24 23:36:00

Am I potentially in trouble?

Among other red flags

When there are enough red flags to make a decent-sized tent, you keep the flags; dump the girl; go moose hunting in your tent.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2011-09-03 12:31:00

Cheating wife

Do you guys believe in polygamy or something? I can't be in a relationship like that. Marriage is one man and one woman.

No. And we are strictly monogamous despite the mutual permission in principle for an "excused absense". Neither of us sees it worth any effort or money to pull it off. Why bother when home has everything you need? Some day in the future the right set of circumstances might fall in our laps. And we'll talk it over if and when it happens.

The point is that the indiscretion has nothing to do with an extramarital fling per se. It has to do with what the pledge is between husband and wife, and the normal case is strict fidelity. Despite so, a significant fraction of marriages have affairs and survive them. Some are saying to give her another chance and I say no despite being more open minded about extramarital sex. It has to start off with trust, communication, and respect.

Holy mackerel - kissing in public in Viet Nam like that is almost beggging to be caught for how brazen it is. That it is done so publicly, in front of relatives even - whilst the husband is in the dark - this is big time losing face in Asian countries. An extreme insult.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-04-14 21:25:00

Cheating wife

Marriages are based heavily on "love" and "respect", when one decides to be unfaithful there's no longer any "love" nor "respect", and that would render the marriage meaningless in this particular case.

Of course. Self-preservation should be the primary motivation now, and you can still do this graciously with kindness instead of malice. Any effort or thoughts on retribution are wasted. I would look back through the relationship for things that were little red flags. One you mentioned about getting more distant when she moved to the city. But your radar is probably working. There will be more signals. You explained them away, or accepted her explanations of them. But pursuing them further in light of this indiscretion may lead to more evidence.

Relationships can recover from affairs. Mine includes the permission to have them - if they are in the open and approval granted. It is the deceit, the back-stabbing, the bad faith - this can't be the foundation of a new marriage. A marriage has to have a solid foundation first that can withstand this kind of trauma.

You know your cousins better than we do so nobody can advise you on the quality of that information. I have hired private detectives on more than one occasion. Definitely worth the money when a whole marriage relies on the information. One got bullet-proof evidence of a wife having an affair. The other was watching a gal in South America I was seeing. Her father and brother caught him, and it was a heck of a chase on motorcycles through the city before they got him. But they did, and forced him to confess who he was working for. So what. It was no betrayal on my part. She turned out to be untrustworthy, so the strategy of checking up on her independently proved itself out in the end.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-04-14 20:21:00

What should the Asian women do for their lives and their families if they married to American citizen men?

The better dissertation to do is on the "rescue industry" parasites that pretend they are the protectors of immigrants for marriage.

They like to stereotype the immigrants as helpless, ignorant victims of evil exploitative men - human trafficking victims - or alternatively just prostitutes selling themselves. Because if they are looked upon as normal adult humans then there isn't anything anyone can say or do. That's why it is so important to insinuate they are either human trafficking victims or prostitutes - because these are things we "do something" about. The OP was careful not to make the stereotype offensive, but it was nevertheless a stereotype.

Whether you look upon them with pity or look upon them with scorn, either one demonstrates there is something wrong with the onlooker who simply refuses to consider them as equals to himself. There isn't anything to either pity or scoff at. We don't ever ask that of an American woman marrying an American man. There is no difference between this and the bigotry of racism where the racist is so sure of themselves that dark skin makes someone less capable, less human, less deserving of rights than a white person. It is not decent behavior to either pity or denounce someone with darker skin, lower income, different religious belief, etc.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-06-09 17:51:00

What should the Asian women do for their lives and their families if they married to American citizen men?

Should these women leave their countries to hope for better lives or to stay on their poor countries?

Nobody's business but hers. Anyone thinking they have the right to choose for her is an arrogant, conceited fool and looks upon her as a sub-human with inferior rights.

The U.S. is the paradise that the poor families in Asian countries dream to live in.

Comic book or child's fantasy version of reality.

Under special types of visa such as fiancé and marriage visa, the legal process will be fast and inexpensive because there are the American citizen husbands who sponsor and pay for their wives? process fees.

Rubbish. We've spent over ten thousand, rough order of magnitude in direct plus indirect costs, spent four years of anguish dealing with this incredible bureaucracy and have at least three more years to go.

In order to enter the US by this method, there are many Asian women accepted to leave their families and friends, quit their jobs, and get married to an American citizen to have an adventure in a new country. So, how are the lives of these Asian wives in the U.S.?

Presuming they are worse off is insinuating they are too stupid to return home. Some do. Most don't. Therefore... (duh)

Edited by rlogan, 09 June 2012 - 01:27 AM.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-06-09 01:25:00

IMBRA Special Topics

Answering question on I-129F regarding domestic violence

Exactly. You are required to tell the truth about the question asked. You are not required to list all potentially damaging things about yourself.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2011-01-02 17:21:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Banned for Life

I am not bothered by the "too old" comment.

I'm 30 years older than my wife.

And although she is a little older than I like them, you have to be practical about marriage. So being the prudent man I am, I chose one a little older.

Some might object and say she is too old. go younger. But I am sticking by my decision.

So maybe your brother is doing the same thing. Being practical rather than being led by base physical attractiveness.

Something to think about.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2009-05-05 23:09:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Fiance visa denied

Prostitution is no more a valid method to avoid poverty than dealing drugs or running numbers.

The comment is directed primarily at posters claiming posing for pictures is prostitution. That's an obvious lie. They need to be called on their lie. It is also extreme hypocrisy. Pornography is legal here, it is legal there, and it is not a legal impediment to immigration. We are supposed to provide truthful immigration information on this forum and not let our moralistic blindness interfere in that.

LsnBigBear then chimes in with support for prohibiting immigration to the very child victims he claims to care so much about - children sold into sex slavery by their parents. Sure, that makes a lot of sense. Punish the child victims by disallowing immigration.

You can have your belief that your morals are superior, but it does not excuse you to turn off your brain and support injustice. I disagree with punishing child victims of sex slavery. You agree with it, apparently. I wouldn't be so proud of that position.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-12-09 00:07:00

Waivers (I-601 and I-212) and Administrative Processes (221g)

Fiance visa denied

Just so you are aware, It is illegal to petition a person that was or is a prostitute. I believe everyone can change but the USICS has to protect both the USA and the fiancee due to "Human Trafficking"

This is a perfect example of why the law is so stupid. There isn't any logic here on how disallowing this marriage prevents "human trafficking". What it actually does is eliminate a means of impoverished women to escape prostitution by getting married and immigrating.

Look too how people are claiming pornography over the internet is prostitution. Hogwash. Playboy centerfolds are not prostitutes. They are not only highly paid in this country, but prized as "trophy" wives. Same thing for all the soft porn superstars like Victoria Secrets models, Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and so on. Somehow that transparent micro-thin layer of cotton hiding nothing as a practical matter makes them angels whereas the poor Filipina doing the same thing is a filthy animal. What is really going on is bigotry. Poor brown colored people cannot do what the rich white girl can do.

Although it is a tragedy, this girl made a big mistake by not telling the OP until recently. You do not have the right to conceal such a major issue and get the person really deeply involved in the relationship before this little "Oh, by the way I was already denied entry" revelation. This is a lie by omission, and you were lied to by the other people who concealed this as well.

This is a pretty cruel way to treat people. Think about how you felt when you discovered this. All of them knew what it would put you through, but they did it anyway. Why? Because they wanted to get you hooked first so that you would feel guilty for leaving her. This guilt-trip was consciously thought through by all of them. It demonstrates they do not respect you. The stupid little dupe who is not in on the secret everyone else knows until... "surprise!" So let me guess - she cried and showed all kinds of emotion when discussing this with you, right? Crocodile tears. Part of the design to manipulate you emotionally. That is also cruel - make you feel bad for her lying to you!

But if she (and they) already did this to you now, then they have already proven what they are capable of in the future. I would prefer meeting a prostitute that was honest with me up front and proved she isn't going to lie to me. I'd say forget about this one, and explain to her why. She lied about something too important. Next guy she meets she's got to be honest from the beginning and let that guy enter into the relationship with a problem, but not a problem of dishonesty.

Edited by rlogan, 08 December 2012 - 04:00 PM.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-12-08 15:59:00

United Kingdom

Ridiculous objectification of our SOs thread

You are not paying attention.

You are not paying attention :lol:

I'll never stop enjoying my husband's Ulster accent. I'll always appreciate his solid British/Irish upbringing and resultant good manners. And he's got that quick wit and way with words that seems to be a particular gift of his people.

Look how you've objectified your husband. Shame on you.

I wouldn't imply that these traits cause him and all males of his culture to be "superior" to males of other cultures. Every culture has it's good and bad and that filters down to it's people.

Amazing, incredible insight. Let me get my pen...

If you've missed what we are making fun of, then - you are a part of the "problem".

Oh, I missed nothing at all. You objectify your husband and I think that's funny :lol:

I have done exactly as the OP and you have done. Strawman argument.

Yes, nobody is as wise as the OP and a few others here who *gasp* understand that people vary within a culture.

I noticed not a single example of a person who does not understand this has been provided to demonstrate that a person this stupid even exists.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2011-03-23 14:07:00

United Kingdom

Ridiculous objectification of our SOs thread

I have noticed that in other sub-fora, there is to some extent what seems to me to be objectification or exoticisation of the one's partner as the Other, subject to the gaze of the (often American) poster. I would not presume to understand fully why this is so popular, because it seems to be a lot of hooey -- we love our partners for who they are not where they're from, right? Right?

Packed with logical fallacies, so I wonder what your purpose actually is. It does not follow that admiring the cultural and physical features of your spouse "objectifies" them. That's ridiculous.

Exoticize? By definition two different cultures and races on the opposite sides of the planet are exotic to one another. This is a visa forum. How could you possibly think such a thing unusual? What a great topic for an international forum - how stupid people are for liking the cultural and physical traits across disparate countries.

The oddest logical fallacy is to pretend that a person's culture, their race, is not a part of them. Somehow, growing up in the Bronx and the son of caucasian christians, Joe was asian, spoke visayan, was muslim, and followed the tradition of children supporting their parents in retirement, etc.

To that end, I propose we try an experiment. I suggest that we in the UK sub-forum give it a shot. Let's see if we can develop our own take on this, and perhaps (indulge me, please) I can understand better why this is apparently so much fun. Here goes my shot (bearing in mind my UK SO is my ex now, but we are still friends):

When we lived in the UK, I loved nothing more than to see him striding manfully across the countryside in a waxed Barbour jacket, wellington boots, wide-wale cords and a chunky wool jumper. Then we'd repair to the pub for a few jars and a ploughman's, while we talked meaningfully about 19th century British politicians or the Second World War.

Have a bash at it -- let's see if we're any good at this malarkey.

Sure. Anyone can make fun of whomever they please. "Look how stupid you are for what you love about your SO."

Well obviously a trash thread given a lot of the other posts, but I did want to respond to the OP./

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2011-03-18 19:46:00

Getting her out of vacation mode

QUOTE (visaveteran @ Nov 11 2009, 12:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, things have flipped right side up again...at least for me. Nothing is withheld from me. There is no taking away...only giving.

Isn't that great?

We try to continually remind ourselves we're a team. If you start thinking "I'll do this to her so she will stop doing this to me..." It's already cause for concern. Take care of your team member and they're going to take care of you.

Well, if they don't then you better think about whether you want them on your team.

You have to admit where you are wrong and apologize too. Right away. Everyone makes mistakes. Full, unqualified "I screwed up I am sorry". Don't get adversarial and try to argue your way out of it. Pass blame and get resentment. Justifiable resentment.

Try to live in a way that is a statement to her instead of promising the moon.

Ha ha lilajean.

I don't like make-up either. But I am not going to stop her from using it if she wants to.

But I also do not like to shave. 22 years running I had a beard. Nobody knew me when I returned from the Philippines. The men here have beards. Interior Alaska. Wow your face gets cold in the arctic without a beard and I am outside every day in the worst of it.

Even at only twenty below zero your cheeks get so cold you cannot form words completely because your cheeks and jaw are not working the same without insulation to keep them warm. That is my experience. At fifty below zero just forget about it. I was trapping at 82 below zero near coldfoot in the Brooks Range one year. I sure liked having my beard. I won't listen to any horse manure about beards not keeping my face and neck warm. You have to keep them dry though. Need to know how to keep frost from accumulating.

Of course I was single then because the population of single women on traplines in the Brooks Range is... zero. Kind of been static at that level for a really long time, like 400 years. I was doing 126 miles of line then and never saw a woman at all, in fact. You seem to find them in towns.

My wife likes a shaved face. So I shave. Think about what a little trifle that is in a day. For me to do that for her. Even though there are no people in the woods for me to impress. Not just the shaving part. The cold face part. The glands below my jaw. If I trimmed my beard like a little nancy-boy it would not keep that part of me warm. You want a bushy thing.

I don't need to shave for business. Showing up shaved to a bid is like "OK, who's the outsider here... he's probably from Seattle" I cut my hair so short people think I am an army dude. Jesus my head is cold.

So you know, this radar has to work both ways. OK hon, I get the message. Short hair and shave. You don't have to ask me. A relationship takes work and this is a small daily sacrifice for me to do for her. I see you there without make-up just looking so naturally beautiful. I'll just go shave now so you can feel the same way about me.

Ha ha! I am doing undercover arctic mountain man living. Disguised as an army dude.

I can do that. Cracks me up.

cheers to all. Best of luck.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2009-11-13 00:25:00

Getting her out of vacation mode

QUOTE (BluesTraveler @ Oct 26 2009, 11:58 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The comment about with holding bedroom privileges was in reply to Slim's comment that it was a two way street and either party could technically do it. It was said in jest. More along of the lines of, would a woman even notice if a guy was with holding bedroom privileges?

Mine sure would.

QUOTE

The strategy I've undertaken is I put together a large list of things that need to be done. And I mean it really is a large list of things. >40 things. I didn't say, you do this, I will do that. They were all things we had talked about in passing with no serious weight to the conversation. I made the list right before dinner and she grabbed the list during dinner and read through it. Asking what some of the items are on the list.

Some of the items were clearly going to be done by me, change the oil in the car. Some items could be done by either one of us. She mentioned, you never asked me to do, xyz. Ok, I will play along. I did but maybe I didn't say it like, "do XYZ NOW!!!" Not my style, never will be.

I put the list on the fridge. Friday night she asked me, "what are we going to do this weekend?"
I replied, "I was just thinking about that, I was going over the list in my head, and I think I will do a,b,c,d,e,f, and g."
She was like, "You are going to do all of that this weekend?"
I said, "Yes I am going to do all of that before lunch on Saturday."
"WOW!!!"

I kept my word and started cracking out the items on the list. For the record I finished A-F before lunch and was halfway through G. She got the point and was working on J, K, O, and Q.

So, I think some posters comments on communication were correct. However it wasn't specific enough. We had talked about all of the items on the list, except 1 or 2. The part that was lacking, was I wasn't clarifying what I was expecting from here. I didn't implicitly state I want you to do J, K, O and Q. It would have felt as I was giving her orders, and that isn't constructive to my relationship. I allowed her to come to her own resolve, she could see the list of things that I needed or wanted done. Mind you, many items on the list were things she desired also. And she then say I was completing things and if she helped, then we would have time to do things together.

I don't want my spouse to be my maid. Although I do expect her to contribute 50% of the effort around the house. And in some cases maybe 66% because you have more time than I do.

I'm really glad you wrote again. It clarified some things. Forgive my levity, but my first reaction was "wow, that's a defective unit there and you need to trade in for one of these Filipina units, which I find deleriously wonderful."

I thought she was possibly depressed, but that does not explain washing her own clothes but not yours. That is called selfishness in the context of the story you have related.

I had planned to immigrate my wife, have her get a degree in accounting, and be making more money than me. I thought it would make her independent, especially financially, and self-actualized.

And I see here in your post the same thing I was thinking: I am not marrying a maid. As if doing laundry for the person you love is actually an act of servitude, something beneath you. A lesser-class person because you make dinner.

I have had a revolution in my thinking. Because of my wife. She studies me. In two years she knows me better than I know myself. She doesn't give a darn about accounting or school or anything except that omnipresent meter: how is my husband doing. What does he need.

Remember how you said she gave a blank look when you said that she ought to be doing more work around the house? Yet she felt guilty about not working? And that she denied you mentioned it before? Obtuse!

Oh, there was definitely a huge communication gap that seems to have been partially solved by the list you made. But the fact you had to make one in the first place, and then the continued innate lack of husband-radar for lack of a better word. When I come in from the cold my wife has a cup of hot chocolate in my hands and crackers with cheese melted on top before I have my boots off. I can't list the things she does because decorum prohibits full disclosure. But it's amazing. Nuclear powered dynamo.

What it has done for me (us) is vastly increase my productivity because working at twenty to fifty below zero outside is so punishing you need a support unit inside full-time. Also my motivation. You put a loving woman behind a man, knowing his every little muscle ache, and then see what that man will do for his wife. I mean, sometimes I don't want to let on I have some pain because she's getting the tiger balm and ordering me to lay down. Going to put half an hour into rubbing it.

So she volunteers. Your wife. On the one hand I am thinking, OK so she isn't lazy per se, but she's OK with leaving the house to do things for other people at no compensation instead of washing her husband's clothes at the same time she is washing her own. There is still something here I would not accept in my own marriage.

I'd like to see the list of things women are prohibited from doing for a man because they are beneath her dignity. I disagree with that whole implicit thinking now. Because what my wife does for me is so priceless. What a relief it would be if someone took the time to observe what things you like or dislike and transformed your whole life from miserable to wonderful. Never before have I had the ability to just reach on a shelf and get a clean shirt. My God, I don't even do that much. The clothes are laid out for me.

There is some unspoken PC rule, almost, that they take the most valuable things she does for our household and says those are the very things she is not allowed to do. Anything but those. And so you, in conformity with that principle, ask if you are out of line for expecting her to pull some weight in the relationship. Well of course not if it means laundry, cooking, cleaning, or anything else on this unspoken list of what women are prohibited from doing for men. The PC list of banned work.

My immigrant wife could not get her social security card because the SS office is incredibly incompetent. But she helps me in the business too, and we call her my "sexitary". She is my door registration girl at meetings I have to do, and my girl Friday. Secretary with benefits. Personal assistant or whatever. We laugh about sexitary because in a way it is the same alleged subservient role the PC cops are wont to stomp out. I am exploiting her.

Before, I had years of marriage or relationships to the "independent woman" that in retrospect followed this idea. They were just living with me and doing what they wanted. No children.

My ex-wife came to me in a similar situation as yours. I was doing all the working, by far and away, she had what would be considered recreational things like bodybuilding competitions. Dance. Well, she demanded I do 50% of the housework, and the standard had to be set by her.

It was extremely stressful and I was working overtime, but Wednesdays I had to vacuum. I cooked 100% and did my own laundry and dishes. This "housework" thing was the toilet and sink and stove and yadda yadda yadda...

I was thinking to myself, and I was in anguish over how unfair it was - how can she not see what an outrage this is? I was working two full-time jobs essentially and she was just doing these body beautiful things. There is only so much time in a day. One person has time and the other doesn't.

So y'know to further the dark side of this sinister thinking there's your fear of withholding sex from you if she is made to stoop. No sex if you make me wash dishes. I would never have stood for that - not for a day - and that was not my problem with the ex-wife, nor is it now. I was voluntarily accepting the creed that she is independent of me and does not do things on the PC work-ban list. She went beyond that to demand I had the positive duty to vacuum on Wednesday night and all. No, as a matter of fact when I am working like I am, and you are not, then such a demand is intolerable. You're fired.

But she was not fired for failing to pull her weight in the bedroom.

It was not our plan to have my immigrant wife end up being this super-facilitator on our team. And now a mother. But it is how things have turned out, and they make by far the most sense for us. I have heard this kind of role-relationship referred to negatively: a "maid with benefits". I see now how unfair that label is. How it demeans what is actually a huge blessing and improvement in quality of life.

I never had a woman even notice what kind of pop I drank really, and this one has five cases of it, plus the one opened, in the kitchen. I don't remember what being hungry was like. I cooked every day for over 30 years. I never cook now. Never wash a dish. No laundry. No vacuuming. Nothing. You said 66% was OK. If she wasn't working. It's not quite half of what I am getting, which is 110%. And mine works for my company a little, plus I do some expedition type stuff. I have to put her on salary at mining camp. She absolutely earns that.

Hmmmm.... As a matter of fact I did have a 22 y.o. maid with benefits at one time. For about six or eight months. Less than a year. I hired her as a maid and the benefits were her idea. My wife blows her out of the water. She is uncanny with her ability to have completed what I need before I even utter a word. Watching. Telling me to remember my felt pens, already has something going in the kitchen for when I get back inside...

I think the bottom line here between us buddy is that this unit I got here is hardwired to make sure I am the happiest guy on earth. Women differ in that way of course. Communication is so terribly important, as you have found. But attitude too. You don't need to even tell them what you need when they are really paying attention. Making it their business to know.

Edited by rlogan, 11 November 2009 - 11:23 AM.

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2009-11-11 11:20:00

nat geo

So the UK/Canada folks visit the PI forum also! I wondered about that.

Heh. That would be a candidate pool for "My love is purer than yours because he did not improve my life as much as your spouse improved yours". But it still comes down to their individual character. It is hard for egotistical people even with a RUB immigrant to stop themselves from this manipulative conceit. All they have to do is turn to a couple where the immigrant is from a country with a lower per capita income than RUB countries and say the same thing. You learn about what kind of people to choose as friends, work associates or spouses by watching whether they do this. Avoid those people because they've proven their character and you'll get nothing but put-downs everywhere they think they can manipulate you into feeling bad. Do not waste your scarce trust on such people because they won't be there for you no matter how much you give to them.

Check out the GDP per capita rankings on Google so you know which countries to be conceited about if you have that kind of character, and which ones can make you the target of that kind of malicious attack.

I spent quite a bit of time in Russia on many trips, mostly the far East - a month in Yakutsk, but Magadan and Khabarosk too, and I designed the curriculum for Russian business students who came over to our University to replace the old Marxist professors. I did wrestling exchanges with the Korkin institute through Pavel Pinnigin who is a olympic gold medalist and three time world champion. When the wall came down he came to my wrestling school because I had wrestled for Gable at Iowa in college and our team had won five straight state titles. Pinigin kicked my a##. He was amazing.

I learned an awful lot during those years and had considered a Russian wife, either ethnic Yakut or Russian. The one thing I observed in frankness was a kind of coldness that communism imparted - an indifference to life itself even - that I hope is changing. This was immediately after the wall came down, and for about six years after. People were shocked at things I did when I first visited - Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky smiling and whistling as he went down the street. They said to walk with my head down, do not smile, do not whistle, etc. In a Jeep once with some people on a hunting trip they went out of their way to run over a dog, and thought that was the most hilarious thing. At that time the old communist officials had ensconced themselves into high positions in business, universities and etc. so there was still a lot of fear and uncertainty over the future.

Yet, there were people who were incredibly generous with what little they had too, and there was no shortage of hotties with one main concern: they wanted a man that didn't drink. According to them, three out of five men were alcoholics - and this was way more important to them than how much money a man made. I suppose we could make up the same kind of conceit about Russian women "only" wanting a man that isn't an alcoholic and how they aren't so choosy otherwise. But the truth is that such an interest is wise of them, just as is seeking economic security. We should commend them for it, not get all conceited and put them down for it. Nor put down the man that doesn't drink: "Oh, she just loves you because you don't drink".

My God people refused to lay off me - demanding I drink at every hour of the day. Toast this, toast that. The military guys were actually stealing some kind of fluid they used in the lines of vehicles or airplanes or whatever it was and drinking that. Hydraulic or brake line fluid or something. I learned to tell them it was my religion - that was the only thing that stopped them from harassing me, but it worked like a charm.

I do wonder if the coldness that I observed is still pervasive. Or the alcoholism. There was zero problem with meeting the ladies and not being a drinker was a huge draw, plus running around with the top Dynamo guys - they were like royalty and got away with murder. Not that the girls weren't eager to bed you - it was more like the difference between people who have dogs vs people who have cats as pets. One is all bubbly and warm and the other has a kind of aloofness. To each his own, so neither is better than the other but I am a dog person for sure!

rlogan

Male

Philippines

2012-02-04 22:41:00